Work Text:
Bitter choco decoration~
Yearning for the ideal everyone desires
Everyone yearns for the sun's approval, even the colder ice giant once did.
Billions of years ago, when the first solar competition took place, uranus did everything in his power to be the winner, and succeeded at first.
At some point he earned the sun's so longed for love but it didn't last long. After Planet X's ejection the solar competitions were paused for at least a century, long enough for the sun to forget all respect Uranus earned.
It would be an understatement to say the light cyan planet was devastated, in some way his 'world' was crumbled. The ego he built for so long was crushed as the star he tried so hard to impress no longer even remembered his name. Yet somehow, he was convinced he could regain his title, all his efforts and time were devoted to being the best, to regain his earned price.
But his shining moment had already passed century's ago, it was frustrating to him, how as time passed his efforts seemed in vain.
His core broke once the title he yearned for his hole existence was given to mercury.
He was angry, Mercury hadn't done anything, not that uranus was a bully but that sorry excuse of a planet only had the title because he was close to the sun, Uranus was sure mercury didn't even want the title.
Why was everyone celebrating the planet that hadn't even moved a muscle for a title!
WHY WAS THE SUN SO UNFAIR?!?
MERCURY WAS NOTHING SPECIAL, HE WAS JUST CLOSE TO THE STAR.
URANUS HAD WORKED FOR THE TITLE, URANUS HAD ACTUALLY DONE SOMETHING. WHY WASN'T HE BEING NOTICED, HE DEVOTED HIS TIME TO GET THAT PRICE
NONE OF THIS WAS FAIR...
At some point, the ice giant doesn't even remember when, he stopped trying, it was better to accept his fate as a nobody that live with the rage in his brain.
At some point he burned out.
Bitter chocolate decoration~
Burning all individuality and emotions
When uranus first was created he knew he wasn't special, neptune had been created before him, Uranus was the second ice giant.
When the proto-planet collided with uranus, tilting him and giving his rings, he finally got something that separated him from the rest, his rings gave him confidence, even if he didn't remember where they came from.
Centuries later, saturn gained his rings after moons collided into him. Rings bigger that uranus, prettier and more visible rings, that saturn displayed with confidence and grace.
So after uranus lost the only thing that made him special, was when he decided to gain the title of the sun's favorite.
That was his best shot at something that would definitely make him stand out, something to make him shine, which worked for some time but the ending to that story has already been told.
His burn out didn't leave him in a good shape. The ice giant's ego was pretty much succed by a black hole of failure. His mind couldn't think of anything other that how useless he ended up being, he had tried yet his best wasn't enough.
Sadness filled his days as his feelings and thoughts became too much to bear for him, fortunately Neptune, before his descend into madness, was there to assist his fellow ice giant.
Telling him regularly to clean himself, brushing his hair and comforting him when he couldn't seem to bear being on his own.
Slowly Neptune's efforts seemed to work, as his cousin (proclaimed by neptune himself) started getting on his feet, but as uranus got better neptune got worse. His orbit started affecting him, he left for long periods of time, periods where uranus felt so lonely he'll do absolutelly nothing but lay on his orbit all day, his moon runned worried for the planet that seemed to loose himself in his mind, decending down the hole he had just climbed back from.
Uranus moons took the role neptune stopped fulfilling, trying to help his planet go back to a better version of himself. A version that wouldn't just sleep for 'days' without end, a version that would get the courage to speak with the rest of the planets instead of spending his life worrying about the state of a planet who had no problem acceptig his fate.
That was always a problem for uranus, a problem he's had since the day of his birth. He felt to much, the anger, the sadness, the worry. . . he wasn't an empathetic saint but he couldn't help but fell a soul-eating worry for his 'cousin', his fellings were too much for him to handle and he had no experiece in expressing them, that's why he would just lay there processing what he felt for hours, waisting his youth as earthlings would say. He was sad, his mind felt blurry but his face wouldn't show it.
If only he could rip his core out, if only his mind could shut up, if only he could quiet space down. . .
Bitter chocolate decoration~
Killing desires and egos, burying them in the ground
With the support of a very weirdly comical Neptune, Uranus got into art.
The colors and the freedom he felt while drawing made him relax at first, he taught himself the basics and even though he wasn't the best, his need for stardom started to reappear.
Forcing himself to come up with ideas, comparing his with the once earthlings did, drawing after drawing, painting after painting, his hands grew tired yet his mind craved for more.
The compliments he got reminded him of his so called 'Golden Era' and fueled his need for perfection.
But the results weren't what the light cyan planet expected because the other planets started looking annoyed whenever he showed his works. To them having to compliment art works that looked like something a 10 year old earthling had done wasn't something to compliment, at first they said they were good out of pity but then they gave up.
Uranus noticed the way they would start ignoring him, or switch topics whenever he tried to address his newest works.
He just couldn't understand what was wrong, was he really that bad at art? Were his efforts and imagination not good enough for the rest? Was really anything he tried to do not good enough for anyone?
The next time he held his notebook in his hands, he was surprised that he couldn't come up with any ideas, none, his mind was blank.
His mind raced, he took a pencil and forced himself to create something on the blank page.
Page, after page, after page, AFTER PAGE, AFTER PAGE, AFTER PAGE, AFTER PAGE
nothing
His mind was blank
He looked at the blank page in front of him, but instead of a drawing the page was filled with tiny drops of ice, they didn't stop, little ice droplets all over the page.
It took him a moment to realize he was crying, and when he did he could stop...
Bitter chocolate decoration~ I've finally become an adult, oh dear sun...
5 billion years . . .
He wasted 5 billion years. . .
No. He wasted all his existence. . .
He wasted his life time trying to please people, he wasted his existence burned out, persuing goals that were impossible for him. Now here lays his end.
The sun became a red giant, slowly destroying the first 3 planets of the solar system. Only Mars remained, mourning his friends and his lost moons. Looking at him was like looking at a forbiden memory. Jupiter and Saturn stayed together, they promissed each other thay would die together, hands held, eyes locked. They were the giant couple, and they decided to remained that till the end of their existence.
Neptune drifted away, at some point his orbit took him outside of the kuiper belt, but not before he also took the life of his biggest moon, Triton. Now Neptune's prettiest ring. Oh the way his cousin was devastated, Neptune came running to uranus, crying oceans, the name Poseidon, god of the seas finally fitted him, for the rage in his eyes could be compared to the most dangerous seas the earth once held before his demise. Neptune was mad at himself for commiting such an atrosity. he could never forgive himself.
That was the last time Uranus saw his cousin, sometimes he still wonders if the rage of Poseidon still conquers the void of space, if he could ever find peace with himself, he hopes he did. He really does . . .
Now there he lays, the last ice giant. Alone, with only his sketchbook and pencil to keep him company.
Uranus opened a blank page on his sketchbook and took his pencil, as he slowly sketched the view infront of him he thought to himself, what could have been. What would have been of his existence if he didn't persue his need for greatness?, what would have been if he didn't devote his existence into being the sun's favorite?, what could have happened if he just enjoyed art instead of forcing himself to be perfect at it?
What if . . . ?
That was a question that would be asked for eternity. There isn't a god in space, not like the one the earthlings thought existed, there was no one he could ask the answer to. Maybe it wasn't a question meant to be answered, maybe it was a question meant to be reflected.
Uranus finished his sketch and admired it, the red giant, in all it's glory. The other planets looked at it with many emotions, worry, rage, sadness, even some pity. Uranus couldn't help but look at it with some kind of admiration, not that he WANTED to die, but his end would mean maybe the creation of another being. He hoped this being would love his existence, if he was gonna meet his end soon he wanted to be able to give life to a being that would LIVE his life, a being that would APPRECIATE the gift that was being free, he hoped that whatever came from his ashes wouldn't commit the same mistaked that he did.
He just wanted to know that the next thing that was gonna replace his place in the void of space wouldn't be trapped by the same ideals, and anxiety as he was.
So he took his notebook and pencil again, and wrote. . .
To the being that will come out of my ashes,
I have a pettition for you.
It's a simple one.
I want you to live.
I wish you will not be tied down by unnecesary
and impossible goals.Please, I, Uranus, am pleading on my knees
for you to be free.May your mind never be clouded.
I salute you
Ouranos Caelum, god of the sky
He closed his notebook and with all the force his being permitted him threw it outside the kuiper belt, hoping it would get out safetly and may a being after him find it.
How much time he had left was uncertain, how much time was wasted could be counted in his mind, all that was left to him was to live.
Live the time that was left for him, enjoy every second of it, savor it and love it.
He left his orbit, and ran towards Jupiter and Saturn who were talking with mars, the three of them trying to ignore the cause of their soon demise infront of their eyes.
As he got closer, he yelled with a smile. The first words that came out of his mouth in a long time . . .
"Guys, let's play cards"