Work Text:
Neal entered Peter's office looking concerned, as if someone had insulted his coffee and he wanted to question their fitness for duty.
"Peter," Neal said, sitting across from Peter's desk. "You're here late."
Peter glanced at his watch. "Not really."
"Peter. Check your calendar."
Peter narrowed his eyes, but moved his mouse and clicked on his calendar. "Crap. It's Valentine's Day." He stood up and rushed for his jacket. "I'm supposed to meet El in 20 minutes and I don't even have a present yet."
"Catch," Neal said.
Peter looked up in time to snatch a jewelry box out of the air. "You better not have stolen this," he said as he opened it. It was a sapphire necklace and earrings. They were unusual and beautiful, and looked exactly like something El would wear. "What do I owe you?"
Neal smiled. "Funny you should say that." He tossed something else at Peter. Peter caught it on reflex.
It was his wallet.
"Neal," Peter growled.
"Relax. It was purchased legally, and it's within your budget."
"How do you know my budget?"
Neal looked at him fondly. "Please. Your password strength is medium at best."
"Remind me to show you my appreciation later," Peter threatened as he left his office.
"Give Elizabeth my best!" Neal called.
"I have to go to a thing," Peter groused as Neal opened the passenger door and got into the car.
"I need adjectives. Or more nouns," Neal said, bracing himself against the dashboard.
"I have to go to a dinner. A fancy dinner. Tonight. For work."
Neal blinked. "Wear your navy suit."
"Elizabeth already took it to the dry cleaners."
"You're pouting!" Neal said in delight.
"Yuk it up, and I'll put you back in prison so fast that your hat won't even hit the ground before you're behind bars."
Neal stared at him intently. "You're really stressed about this, aren't you?"
"I don't like fancy dinners. They make me feel awkward."
"You're not awkward," Neal said. "Okay, maybe you are a little awkward, but it's adorable."
"Don't talk to me," Peter said. Upon arriving at the office, Peter got distracted with work; Neal disappeared, but that wasn't unusual, and Peter was trying to trust him more. When Neal reappeared, he was carrying a box; his smile made Peter nervous.
"I got you a present," Neal said.
Peter opened the box gingerly. Inside was a silky, striped tie.
"That is a fantastic tie," Elizabeth said from the doorway. She was holding a garment bag and looking impressed.
"He picked it out all by himself," Neal said, turning to greet her. Behind his back, he held out Peter's wallet.
Peter sighed and took it.
One evening, Peter discovered Elizabeth and Neal in the living room standing next to the coat rack with their heads together.
"Touch it like that, lightly, with your fingertips. Stroke up, twist your wrist," Neal was saying. "You're so good at this."
"Really?" Elizabeth asked. She wrinkled her nose. "You're not just saying that?"
"Baby, you're a natural."
"Ahem," Peter said loudly.
"Hi, honey." Elizabeth didn't even look over her shoulder. "Neal's teaching me a trick."
"And what would that be, exactly?"
Neal glanced between them. "I think a practical demonstration is in order."
"I like that idea," Elizabeth said.
"Do you need any distraction tips?" Neal asked.
"Please," Elizabeth said. "I've got this."
He was about to demand an explanation when Elizabeth kissed him. Elizabeth didn't kiss like any other woman he knew. She was soft but confident. She knew what she liked and went after it with her tongue and teeth. It was hot and a little dirty. She sucked on his lower lip and ran her hands down his chest, and Peter forgot why he was upset.
Peter opened his eyes. Neal held up Peter's wallet. His eyes were blue and bright.
"You taught my wife how to pick pockets?" Peter asked incredulously.
"What can I say? She's a woman of many talents."
"I brought lunch," Neal said. He balanced a stack of carry out as if he'd been a waiter in a previous life.
He'd pretended to be a waiter on several occasions. Peter guessed that was close enough.
He held out his hand, and Neal gave him his wallet back. Neal's forgery of his signature was so good that Peter couldn't tell it apart from the real thing.
Neal handed him a carton. Peter opened it dubiously, and then stared at Neal. "It's my favorite."
"I know," Neal said.
"Peter," Elizabeth said. "You should invite Neal for dinner."
"You're planning something," Peter said, because his wife was excellent at making plans.
"Don't you think it's time?"
Effusively, Peter said, "I love you."
She gave him a satisfied look. "I know."
Neal came to dinner. He ate their food, drank their wine, and laughed at Peter's terrible jokes. They moved to the couch. Elizabeth leaned into Neal. "Pick his pocket. I think you know how to distract him."
The smile slipped from Neal's face. "I can't."
Elizabeth touched his cheek. "We wish you would."
Neal's eyes went wide, and he turned to Peter. "Seriously?"
Peter tugged at his ear, and then folded his arms nervously. "Yeah."
Elizabeth and Neal stared at him, their expressions identical and distractingly pretty.
"Kiss him, or I'm going to," Elizabeth said, shoving Neal's shoulder.
Neal landed half on Peter's lap. He raised his head and kissed Peter, and it almost wasn't like a first kiss at all, it felt so familiar. His lips were soft, and he smelled fantastic. Neal kissed like he did everything else: expertly, joyful, and so slick that Peter groaned in appreciation.
"My turn," Elizabeth said. She kissed Neal, and they both made a soft noise that went straight to Peter's cock.
"Are you sure?" Neal asked.
"I've been sharing him with you for years," Elizabeth said. "It's only fair that we share you."
"Hey," Peter said, patting his pocket. "I still have my wallet."
"Not for long," Neal said.