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This wasn't the night Radford had wished he had.
He wanted the sunset to be romantic, orange splatters painting both him and Kevin as they lay down on the grass, watching stars slowly pop into the night sky. It wasn't his really his fault that they had been too late to miss the sunset, and that the sky was turning into a dark tar of murky clouds, with no stars in sight. Maybe they could just pack up and try again tomorrow- but something kept Radford stuck in place.
It could've been how stupid he felt; too afraid to back up from what he had started. Or it could've been how intoxicating Kevins laugh was, and how he giggled away at the situation, his sweet laughter never dying out. But he was almost certain it wasn't either of those, no matter how much both of them were true- because maybe it was because of how the sky no longer looked like that dark tar it had looked like at first. Now it looked like the sticky black treacle that he grew up with. The black treacle he would bake with when Kevin was around; when they were both young and awkward teenagers, and how it ended up all over their hands and the counter tops once they were done with it. How when both of their moustaches started coming in post-T, Kevins favourite Cardamom & Black Treacle ice cream would get stuck in it, and how it made him mad to the point where he shaved it completely off and refused to ever let it grow back.
He appreciated the memories. He appreciated the fact that this night had gone 'wrong' because in so many ways, it went right. He appreciated the quiet snickering beside him as Kevin squeezed his hand tightly, his clammy hand making him feel warmer, no matter how cold it really was.
They both watched the gooey sky for what felt like decades, watching it ooze down onto the streetlamp amber glow below them. He looked over to Kevin; the flame of his laughter now just a glowing ember in a dark room. Radford wondered how he'd gotten so lucky to be here, how lucky he'd gotten to fall inlove with such an incredible person. There was no handles to hold to guide them, and no understanding where they were going, but they still both pathed on together.
Their love was awry, silly, and just all over the place, and so were they, because nothing worth loving isn't.