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Today, in the empty sekai, the view is grayish up to the horizon; the world is silent, and no one is around.
Just like every other day.
Len is walking along one of the cold, fallen stage trusses on the ground, half-leaning on it with one hand.
His face was a bit pale, and every step he took was slightly wobbling.
Len has his eyes set on a pyramid not far from where he is, but judging by the speed of his movements, it will probably take him about a minute to reach his desired destination.
He can feel his breathing getting more and more intense, a sensation he has become very familiar with, unfortunately. This also foreshadows the unpleasant experience that compelled him to get on his feet despite feeling sick.
"I swear I just saw him a while ago..."
The faint voice of a young girl from afar made his heart race.
The sensation he was feeling also became irritating instantly, as something rushed up from the bottom of his lungs to his throat.
Len had no choice but to sprint towards the pyramid, and that little moment of movement took his remaining strength away. He collapsed behind the pyramid, pulled all his limbs together, with a hand over his mouth, held his breath, and prayed that Rin would not come near him.
Seconds went by like minutes, Len had to gasp for air, even though he couldn't hear if Rin had left or not.
And as soon as new air entered his lungs, he began violently coughing, which quickly turned into vomiting. He pulled up the collar of his shirt to muffle the noise, fearing the cough might attract unwanted attention.
Of everyone, Rin is the one who definitely cannot know about his condition.
Through his vision, blurred due to the tears inflicted by the violent coughing, a hint of purple stood out in a grey and white blur. The petals of purple daffodil lay gently on the inside of his collar.
The strong floral smell blocked by his raised collar hits him as he inhaled, which only made him sicker.
In this empty world, everything is dull and quiet. So any movement or noise seems to be magnified.
Perhaps this logic does not only apply to physical phenomena, but also to emotions.
He remembered how he panicked when he coughed up flower petals for the first time. It took him a while to convince to borrow their phone to search about his symptoms in secret, and the only result that came up was a disease called "Hanahaki."
The website explained the rare disease was not officially recognized by the current medical system. The types of flowers varied for each patient, and the only common denominator was that they all suffered from one-sided love towards another person. Which later discovered the meaning of flower is related to the situation the patient was in.
The symptoms worsen slowly, and every cough would feel like their throat being burned by fire, along with piercing pain in the lungs. Eventually, they will begin to cough up blood with petals in the late stage of the disease.
There're two ways to cure the disease. First, if the person loves the patient back, the disease will went away naturally.
Another way would be to receive surgery to remove the flowers from the lungs. However, by doing so, the feeling the patient once had for the person will also be removed.
For Len's case, his flower is the purple daffodil, which means selfishness.
As soon as he saw the meaning of the flower rooted in his lungs, it was enough for him to believe in the existence of this rare disease and finally get a clear view of his situation.
The whole story begins the first time when he appeared in this empty sekai. He remembered no matter how long he walked, the view seemed to be all the same, and no one answered his call for help. At some points, he was convinced that he was walking in a circle, living in a nightmare where no one would wake him up.
It was then Miku appeared and found the whimpering lost boy, whom she gently led back to the place where everyone was.
He hid behind her because everything seemed a bit scary after being lost on his own for so long.
Even to his counterpart, Rin, he did not choose to approach her at first.
However, while he was afraid to be approached by or to approach other people, his reason for not going near Rin was different.
It could be because they are both "Kagamine," being each other's counterpart, they are naturally attracted to each other.
It was not that Len didn't feel the attraction towards her; in fact, it was quite the opposite.
She was special to him, to the point he couldn't bring himself to talk to her. Not after he hid behind Miku in front of her or the embarrassment he felt the time Rin offered him to hide behind her because of Luka.
Despite there was a part of him that was eager to make a connection with Rin, Len did not dare to make a move.
The times where Rin approached him, when their eyes met, Len would avert his gaze simply because he was not ready. Even if Len is the one who approached her, his mind blank out and any plans he had just went out of the window.
Rin would quietly walked away if Len was too overwhelmed to say anything on the spot.
Another thing was Len finds it hard to read Rin's emotions, since she always has a rather emotionless face, not to mention he can't even look at her calmly for most of the time.
He wanting to create a perfect encounter between the two them. Since he has already failed to give her a good first impression, Len became even more focused on making things "right."
It was like an artist owning a finest piece of paper, it was obvious that a perfect piece of art deserves to be created on this precious paper. However, with an intention this grand, it would be hard to even land a stroke on it. Delaying the work for a better idea, the paper remained a piece of paper in the meantime.
It was until that one time when Rin tries to talk to him, to which he took a step back and averted his gaze out of instinct.
That time, Rin did not walked away and waits for Len to look at her.
As he slowly turns his head, he saw the most emotional expression from Rin he had seen so far. It was a mixtures of hurt and sadness, then soon turns into frustration.
"Why are you afraid of me?"
Compared to her usual monotone voice, she spoke with a bit of hesitation, like she was trying to push down her anger.
"No! It's not that... I just......"
Len was eager to make an explanation, telling Rin how much she meant to him. However, he actually doesn't know what exactly is the feeling he has for Rin.
All the flinches or averted gazes came from a place he also has no idea about. The only thing he can be sure about his behavior would be that he was simply not ready.
Then it raised another question, what exactly did he need to get ready for? Why did he need to be ready anyway?
All the thoughts and feelings tangled up together in his minds, had his words stuck in his throat.
Seeing him being unable to give an answer, Rin didn't bother to say anything and walked away like how she always did. She did not stop even when Len called her name.
He wanted to cry because Rin surely hates him now, and he could not blame her for it.
Delaying and pushing away the attempt of action on the precious paper, finally resulted in the paper turning yellow and slowly crumbling away.
His inaction and reactions had now made a scar on their relationship.
It was after some time, Len was finally able to gather courage once again, and picked a book to ask if Rin wants to read it together.
To his surprise, she agreed.
It was easier than he imagined, and he is finally being next to Rin, just how he always wanted. All this time, this scene had became like a mountain that seemed too high for him to climb over.
After he has crossed over the imaginary barrier he had set for himself, it became easier for him to look for Rin.
Rin would sings on the days where they are just together without any agenda. Listening to her voice was like basking in sunlight, as if a warm blanket was embracing him in this cold, empty world.
Len also realized he no longer flinch or avert his gaze when with Rin, and he also observed Rin's expression soften a little each time they met.
At the same time, his feeling for Rin slowly became clearer as they spent more time together.
As he looked at the side of her face, a thought came in his mind one day, that he wished to see her smile.
There was times Rin forms a tiny grin with her lips, but it was when she talked with other people, and it went away so quickly before Len was able to form a thought about it.
He wanted to see a brighter smile from Rin.
This thought made him feel embarrassed, while making his heart flutter.
He still has no clue how to name this sensation he was feeling, but he was sure to put a name for it someday.
Len had a plan going somewhere, at least before Hanahaki disease got to him.
The disease made it clear that it was love, he has loved Rin from the very beginning.
However, with him having Hanahaki disease, it also meant that Rin did not love him back.
Upon knowing the meaning of purple daffodil is selfishness, the guilt soon took over him.
It was selfish of him to push Rin away at first and then to approach her again without any proper apology to this day. He did not contain the moments when Rin attempted to make a closer connection, while he was unable to establish the connection.
Rin only expressed how she felt about him for once, and even though his aversion of gaze and flinching behavior intended no harm towards her, all of his reactions caused wounds on her.
Len wanted to make everything right to connect with Rin. He didn't dare to make a sketch or color the paper of relationship, to which he waited for the day that paper began to turn yellow, and he finally began to do something about it. Then he finally realized that the scenery he vaguely imagined in his mind was a project that required team effort. No matter how he wanted it to turn out, it will never exist in reality without Rin.
Now that he can finally see the future he wants with Rin, the Hanahaki disease has put a clock on him, counting down his time to make things happen before he disappears.
However, if he confesses his situation to Rin, then he will have placed the burden of saving his life on her, creating the ultimate selfish situation.
The purple daffodil was the perfect flower for him.
At this moment, Len began avoiding Rin again after learning about Hanahaki disease. From Rin's perspective, he had just stopped talking to her for no reason.
To confess to her or not, he felt like either way was damaging to what remains between them.
Len didn't know what to do, so he simply let the flower and guilt consume him from within.