Archive of Our Own ^beta

NINA’S GIFT

Kaz trudged along next to Nina, whose smile outshone the sun at the moment. “What’re you so happy about?” he grumbled, his cane clicking along in time to his limp.
“Maybe I’m just happy,” she returned immediately, slowing down again after accidentally speeding up too fast for him and his aching leg. “Can’t I just be happy?”
“I mean, I guess,” Kaz halfheartedly allowed, glancing at where she looked back at him with that wide grin of hers. “But usually you’re happy about something in specific.”
Nina shot him a small frown before letting that happy smirk gain traction across her lips again. “Okay, so maybe I am,” she granted. “Maybe Matthias took me window shopping this morning –”
“– he did what?” Kaz interrupted a little heatedly. “I thought we agreed not to do that anymore.”
Nina’s smile began to slip, and Kaz suddenly wished he could get it back somehow.
“Whatever, never mind,” he mumbled. “So, he took you window shopping.”
“Don’t say it like that,” Nina chided him primly.
Kaz scoffed. “Like what?”
“Like we killed someone you didn’t approve of beforehand,” she returned a little sourly.
“That isn’t how I sounded,” Kaz protested, dodging a mailbox.
“Hmm,” Nina said, her mouth fully pouting now.
“That isn’t how I meant to sound,” he muttered, looking away from her.
They walked in silence for another minute before Nina started up again. “He took me window shopping, and I saw the most frilly shirt I’ve ever seen, and he said if it’s still there next week, he’ll buy it for me.” He watched her smile return slowly.
“Frilly?” he asked, if only to get her to explain herself.
“Yes. Frilly. I love frills,” she sighed wistfully, swishing her skirt.
“Why?” He might’ve sounded a little tart right then, but Nina didn’t comment on it.
“Because when I wear them, it makes me feel like a princess,” she said loftily.
Kaz thought about it. “Is that a good thing?”
Nina laughed, and his stomach flipped a little about it. “It’s a very good thing. Princesses are valuable, and looked upon highly, and they’re pretty as hell,” she listed.
“You don’t have to be a princess to be any of those things,” Kaz opened the front gate for her.
She sauntered primly through. “True. But when I wear frills, I feel prettier than usual.”
Kaz nodded acknowledgement, but then the conversation stalled entirely when Nina caught sight of where Wylan chewed on his pencil’s eraser as he scribbled on his music sheet.
“Hey! Is that your own?” she called as she made her way over to him.
The sweet smile Wylan shone at her clenched Kaz’s heart as if it had been for him. “Yep!”
Kaz went down the hall to his office, closing the door and locking it so he could at least pretend to have some privacy for his racing thoughts.
Their mutual winter holiday wasn’t for another few months, but Kaz always planned farther ahead than most of them. He’d been scheming for months already about the perfect gifts for each of his partners – since last December, actually – but he hadn’t decided on anything officially yet.
But now that he had an idea for Nina, he’d need to get started as soon as possible. He didn’t know how long it would take to properly prepare it, since he would have to rely on other people.
So he opened his laptop and began to research a little, jotting down little notes to himself on his vest notepad Inej had promised never to try to collect intelligence from. A list of different necklines, how women’s clothes were measured – which turned out to be a huge can of worms he hadn’t expected to open right then, various types of bodices, the proper length of skirts for which occasions, etc etc etc.
He circled the ones he wanted on his list, copied down the chosen specifications on a separate paper, and tucked that paper into his vest pocket with the notepad. Then he erased his history as per usual, and closed his laptop.
He drummed his gloved fingers on the top of his desk. Who would have a measuring tape? Probably Jesper, he decided.
He wasn’t going to measure Nina while she slept, that might be going a little too far. But he could measure her clothes, and see if there were any patterns in the sizes.
But he’d need Nina out of the house. He didn’t know what he’d do – how he’d try to explain himself – if she came across him doing that.
Kaz stood abruptly, unlocking his door to find Inej standing outside it. “Yes?”
Inej smiled at him. “I just wanted to let you know that Nina and I are going on our date, and not to stay up,” she said a little admonishingly.
Kaz suppressed the urge to smile at that news.
Perfect.
“Alright, sounds good. Be safe,” he took her hand slowly to squeeze it lightly in response.
With Inej’s smile etched into his brain as she squeezed his hand back, he felt her let go and move silently down the hall.
Then he made certain Matthias and Jesper were still napping in the former’s room before going into Jesper’s room like he owned the place.
He didn’t have to look too much for a white, flexible measuring tape to appear in front of him in a pile of shirts he’d never seen Jesper wear.
Then he tried not to sneak into Nina’s room. He wasn’t doing anything bad. He was arguably doing something good, through less than okay means.
It’d be fine, he decided as he got his notepad and pencil out of his pocket. He crossed the threshold of Nina’s violently pink room.
He closed the door tightly behind him and went immediately to her closet.
He measured three of her more elegant dresses, jotting down the numbers for each part he thought to examine.
Once his notepad was filled to the brim with Nina’s measurements and the knowledge that most of her dresses – not just the three base ones – tended to fall in the Not Very Frilly category, he left the room exactly how he found it, making certain as he made his way to the front door.
“Wylan, I’m leaving,” he called, receiving a faint, “Okay!” in response.
Then he left, details in his possession.
He looked up various seamstresses in the city, doing a little research on them as well. He took an Uber to the one with the highest amount of positive reviews, suddenly slightly nervous.
Was he out of his depth here?
Yes. Severely.
But this was Nina. This was for Nina, and she deserved to feel like a pretty princess, if that’s what she wanted.
And he wanted that for her.
So he steeled himself and entered the cozy feeling shop.
“I’ll be with you in a moment!” someone called, and he nodded.
“No rush,” he said, his rasp coming through rougher than usual.
He leaned on his cane a little until the seamstress came around the corner, beaming at him.
“How can I help you?” she asked kindly, looking slightly confused why he might be here.
“I need a…dress,” he stammered a little. “For someone. And I have…I have measurements and details about the style, but I – I can’t bring her in. So…is that enough?” God, he sounded like a nervous schoolboy. Where did Dirtyhands go, and why had he been replaced with such a childlike persona?
The seamstresses laughed a little. “I mean, I suppose that depends on what measurements you have,” she said, going to a small desk to sit. She gestured at the chair across from her on the other side of the desk.
He sat, perching on the edge of the seat like Inej might. “I think all of them,” he said firmly, his voice sounding much less young now.
The seamstress really laughed then. “May I see them?” she extended her elegant hand to him.
He withdrew the piece of paper with the measurements and other details scrawled neatly onto it, sliding it across the desk instead of handing it to her. No sense in getting closer than strictly necessary to those bare fingers.
She didn’t seem to take any offense, glancing at the paper, scanning the numbers quickly. “Oh,” she said under her breath.
“What?” he asked, alert now.
“Oh,” she said again, looking up at him. “You do have all of them.” She sounded slightly surprised.
Kaz nodded slowly. “And…you could create something from them?”
The seamstress nodded. “I most certainly could. Anything else other than what you’ve outlined here I should keep in mind?”
Kaz started to shake his head, then paused. “It…I need – it needs to look…or I guess, feel, like a…princess. Dress,” he said stiffly, the words coming out extremely stilted.
The seamstress’ eyes lit up. “Oh, I can absolutely do that for you. And the frills will certainly help with that.” She gestured vaguely at where he’d underlined the word three times.
“Good,” he said a little sharply, feeling a little less out of his depth now that they neared the part of the bargain he was actually good at. “Your price?”
They decided on a base, upfront payment, the rest to be exchanged with the final product. A good price for what would eventually probably become a disguise for a job, he decided.
“Thank…you,” he said slowly as he left.
“You’re incredibly welcome. I hope to meet your expectations,” she said as she crossed the room to inspect her storage of pink fabrics.
“I hope you do too,” he mumbled to himself before taking his leave entirely.

WYLAN’S GIFT

Kaz watched as Wylan strode into the living room, obviously looking for something. “Lost something?” he asked flatly.
Wylan shook his head, then paused. “Kinda,” he admitted, looking behind the couch. “I thought I had one more blank music sheet, but I can’t find it.”
Kaz sighed. “Do you need more?” he asked slightly distractedly.
Wylan gave a little laugh. “I always need more,” he said flippantly, leaving the living room again, presumably to look elsewhere.
Kaz’s mind spun.
He could work with that.
Well, he could certainly work with that, but it seemed the internet at large could not.
“Why does no one have anything even remotely resembling a leather bound music sheet book?” he growled to himself at two in the morning the following day.
Leather bound so it was sturdy, but also so Wylan could conceivably use it as a prop during a heist.
Of course, those were the only reasons. The fact that Wylan had a set of leather bound work books for his lab his mental image could go perfectly with was completely irrelevant.
“Damnit,” he muttered. “I’m gonna have to make it, aren’t I?”
At seven in the morning sharp, he left the house, on the hunt for a book binding press and everything else he would need for this endeavor.
He’d just spent the last five hours researching the ins and outs of it, after all.
He found a rentable book binding press, the right kind of paper for the pages he’d spent a good hour designing on his computer, and some flexible leather to work with.
If he’d known he’d been about to get this much binding glue on his gloves, he might’ve not worn them, he thought to himself far too late in the game.
Someone knocked on his office door at sunset.
He ignored them.
They knocked again.
“No,” he said loudly, his eyes on where the binding press oozed even more glue from a hidden crevice.
They left.
He’d gotten everything into their correct positions by about nine that evening, but still he had to hide it in his office closet and hope that Inej didn’t decide to search his office in the next four or so days.
Then he threw away his beyond ruined gloves and left the office to get a new pair from his room.
Only to find Jesper by his door.
“What?” he asked a little tartly, walking past him to go to his glove drawer.
“Nothing,” Jesper said, but Kaz turned back to him after getting a new pair on.
“No, what is it?” he demanded, the familiar pressure of the gloves helping him feel less off balance.
“Just…I thought we were doing our…date? Tonight?” Jesper hedged.
Kaz stopped adjusting his glove’s fingertips. Damnit. He’d totally forgotten. How could he have forgotten?
He fought a sigh off – no sense in making Jesper feel bad for something Kaz had fucked up – and grabbed his cane. “Let’s go,” he made a gesture down the hall to the front door.
Jesper perked up immediately. “Okay,” he agreed, leading Kaz out of the house and into his car.
Kaz took them to a large bar, his mind scheming further and further the more Jesper fiddled with everything even vaguely spinny within his reach.
And then he got another idea.

JESPER’S GIFT

Jesper cracked his knuckles for the eighth time in three minutes. Absolutely none of the eight times had elicited any noises, so it wasn’t like his boyfriend was trying to get a hidden crackle to happen.
Kaz watched Jesper instead of the mark, studying where the tall, lanky man popped his knuckles again. “Jes,” he hissed.
Jesper’s gray eyes flickered over to him. “What?”
“What the fuck is the problem?” Kaz whispered harshly, returning his focus to the target in case Jesper kept trying to maintain eye contact with him.
“…nothing?” Jesper asked to his left, his voice sounded confused as he ever had been.
Kaz sighed and dropped the issue.
But then that idea from a few weeks ago sprung back into his mind.
Jesper wasn’t cracking his knuckles for no reason. He was trying to keep his hands busy. The way he spun the broken air vent in his car to distract his wandering hands while he drove when drumming on the steering wheel lost its novelty. The way he picked at his fingers when there wasn’t anything physical around to fiddle with. The way he played with the hem of a particularly lacy shirt.
So maybe Kaz could aid him in finding something to occupy that need to always be moving something.
“Kaz,” someone hissed and he suddenly remembered where he was. He crept forward to meet his mark.
That small heist had gone fairly well — the only hiccup being that Kaz had almost missed his entire cue because he’d been too busy thinking about a gift for one of his boyfriends for a holiday that was still a good five months away.
But Jesper had asked to go out drinking to celebrate, and Kaz had agreed.
Whether or not Kaz had any ulterior motives for agreeing didn’t seem to even occur to Jesper, because he just beamed and led the way. Kaz had limped after him, assuring Inej and Wylan that they’d be back soon.
How drunk either of them happened to be when they got back was left entirely out of the equation. The usual promise included something about not letting the other person get too wasted, but neither Inej nor Wylan had commented on his lack of mentioning it.
Which was a loophole Kaz could hardly wait to exploit.
It actually took a fair bit to get Jesper drunk. Kaz was a lightweight, and as such drank minimally. He needed his own mind as Not Addled as possible for this new heist.
Was this really a heist?
No, he decided. No, this was…a scheme. A scheme that would hopefully result in Jesper not being quite so distracted during actual heists.
Jesper drained another glass. Kaz noted the three shot glasses around his frilly looking drink that looked like it would’ve gotten Kaz blackout drunk from one sip.
“Hey, Jes,” he asked casually, rotating his own barely sipped glass in his gloved hands.
“Yep?” Jesper’s gray eyes found his, as slightly glazed over as they were.
Kaz fought to keep a frown off of his mouth. Jesper got hyper aware of other people’s emotions when he got drunk, and he needed to be certain his boyfriend didn’t find any reason to focus on Kaz’s expression instead of his words. “What’s your favorite color?”
Jesper thought deeply about it. Then his face split into a wide grin that made Kaz’s sober mind stall. “Oh! Red,” he gushed. “Red like…Nina's favorite lipstick. And Inej’s favorite licorice. And Matthias’s favorite jacket. And Wylan’s favorite roses, at the front of the house. And Kaz’s favorite tie.” He still beamed as he took another sip.
Kaz blinked at the inclusion of his favorite tie. How did Jesper know that information? Surely he’d been subtle about it —?
But even as he thought it, he knew that of course Jesper had picked up on it. Kaz wore it to every expensive dinner, every high society event that required him to dress up even minutely, every single one of Wylan’s concerts.
Of course Jesper had noticed.
“Red it is,” was all he said aloud, storing that information away for now. “Time to go.”
Jesper pouted a little, but ultimately set his glass down and let Kaz lead him by the elbow out of the bar. “Did you have a good time?” he slurred, stumbling out onto the street in front of Kaz.
Kaz nodded. “Yep. Now it’s time to go home,” he ordered, dragging his boyfriend along.
Jesper nodded slowly. “Oh, good. I love going home. Home has all my favorite people.”
Kaz’s chest clenched but he said nothing as they — or, well, Jesper — staggered back to where all of Jesper’s favorite people lived.
The next day, Kaz had done entirely too much research to be certain he was getting a red fidget ring from people who knew how ADHD worked, but it had proved to be useful.
He’d just ordered one in Jesper’s size from a supposedly ADHD owned company when someone knocked on the door to his office.
He hid all evidence that he’d been doing — well, anything. “Come in,” he called as he deftly erased his history.
Matthias came in, looking apologetic. “Hey, sorry to bug you — have you seen Jesper?”
Kaz rolled his eyes. “I think a better question would be, “where did you leave Jesper?” To which the answer would be “my bed, because he couldn’t make it to his.”
Matthias smiled. “I see. Well, I’ll leave you to it, then.” He closed the door behind him.
Kaz studied the door his other boyfriend had just left through. Then he pulled up the file he’d been working on for technically years, but for this specific purpose, only a few months.

MATTHIAS’ GIFT

Matthias loved a lot of things. He loved a lot of people, he loved a lot of concepts — most of which centered around camaraderie, Kaz noted — but mostly, he just loved his dog.
Kaz had bought him Trassel Jr. So whenever Matthias talked lovingly about his dog, it always felt like he might be talking lovingly about Kaz by extension.
Which was a little silly, Kaz reflected as he uploaded the many files to his computer from his flash drive. Matthias talked lovingly to Kaz all the time; sometimes to the point where Kaz had to ask him to cut it out because he couldn't handle it anymore.
In any case, Kaz didn’t think Matthias knew about the pictures.
The only reason — the only singular reason — Kaz has been taking pictures of Trassel Jr since the day he bought the dog to a week ago has been “just in case.”
Who knew? They could’ve needed them later.
For a heist.
So Kaz uploaded the maybe hundred and fifty photos to his computer now, tapping his gloved fingers on the side of it. He had a decent group of each stage of the puppy growing into a full fledged adult, which was perfect for his current purposes.
It would’ve been perfect for a heist as well, of course. Should any of them need proof of a dog of any age without any humans in the frame, they would’ve had their pick of the litter, as it were.
Kaz had gotten a few pictures of a sleeping Matthias and Trassel Jr thrown in there for good measure, but entirely in case they needed to prove that Matthias owned such a dog. Not even remotely because Matthias and Trassel Jr curled up together in front of the fireplace had clenched Kaz’s heart to see. No siree.
Besides, he had a picture of all of his Crows with Trassel Jr, not just Matthias, so it wasn’t like Matthias was entirely special.
Just in case.
For a potential heist.
The photography part of this preparation prop wasn’t horrible either. In fact, he found he rather liked taking pictures. He’d taken them all on his phone — mostly in an effort to be more downlow about it, but he also just…didn’t have a camera. And he didn’t know if he liked photography enough to invest in such a thing.
He also didn’t know what good specs were for a camera.
And while he could do some research on it, he found himself far too busy making and collecting gifts for his Crows anyway.
So.
It hardly mattered at the moment.
But now, he was filling up the soft white leather bound photo album he’d found when he’d been researching for the book he’d made Wylan for the same upcoming occasion.
Matthias would like the white leather, he thought vaguely as he uploaded his printer with the special photo paper he needed. And also hopefully the various stages of Trassel Jr growing up.
That sounded like something someone like Matthias would appreciate.
Kaz glanced at his doorknob, making certain it was still locked.
Then he printed out his chosen hundred photos and began to cut them with his paper guillotine.
It took the better part of an hour to cut them all to size so he could slip them into their awaiting sleeves in the album.
But that was okay. A little extra effort rarely went unnoticed.
Not by Matthias, anyway.
He made certain he’d gotten the pictures in the right order — it wouldn’t do to have a puppy photo in the middle of the most recent ones, now, would it? — before closing the whole thing to make certain everything looked right.
There was room for a single picture on the front cover.
He printed out the photo of sleeping Trassel Jr and Matthias, and slipped that one into its new slot.
Then he wrapped it up in brown paper until he could find the perfect box to put it in. He didn’t mess around with wrapping paper if he could help it, except for Wylan, who seemed to appreciate being able to unwrap something given the chance. Possibly due to how few presents he’d gotten as a child from his shithead father, Kaz thought distractedly. He’d probably grown up seeing other children unwrap presents and wondered why he had to miss out.
Well.
Kaz could use wrapping paper for Wylan every winter holiday much easier than he could beat Jan Van Eck up, so he would just have to settle for that.
Matthias’ gift, though. That one got a box. It would look nicer, be neater, and be easier to carry around without having to worry about ripping any flimsy paper disguising its true identity.
Yes, this was going to go well.
Now he just needed to work on the logistics of Inej’s.

INEJ’S GIFT

Inej was tricky to think of gifts for.
He’d mainly been trying to find different ways to disguise a knife that could still be snuck into just about any event or situation. Those would be the most helpful for heists; that way they could always count on Inej having the ability to sneak one in.
She did her best already, of course, but their last heist — where she’d been randomly but thoroughly searched and her boot knife had been found, sending the entire heist into a tailspin — haunted him.
That needed to never happen again.
Kaz gathered as much information as he could about hair adornments from Pinterest of all places — Nina had always sung its praises, so he’d reluctantly followed that particular piece of advice now.
He wasn’t the greatest artist, especially not compared to Wylan, but he did his best to sketch his idea out anyway.
Then he took his pathetic sketch to someone who would be able to do something far more concrete with it.
The metalsmith eyed him, maybe a little suspiciously, studying the sketch.
Kaz tried not to be too embarrassed about it, clutching his cane like a lifeline. The metalsmith he’d gone to about the cane a decade ago didn’t work here anymore, but his website directed all new inquiries to this man instead. Kaz just didn’t have the time, resources, or skill required to do it himself, so a third party he would have to go to.
He tried to have something like hope about it anyway. Nina’s dress had turned out well, at least, so maybe Inej’s new dagger would turn out just as good.
“You’re not going to use it for anything illegal, are you?” the new metalsmith asked hesitantly.
Kaz stared impassively at him. “Of course not, I would never,” he promised.
Well, he wouldn’t be using it in any regard. Inej wasn’t here, though, and therefore, couldn’t possibly agree to such a requirement.
The man nodded slowly. “And are these crows? Or ravens?”
Kaz steeled his expression. “Crows,” he said firmly.
“Alright. I’ll see what I can do,” the man sighed. “Three weeks alright?”
Kaz forced himself to nod along. “Three weeks is alright,” he echoed before pulling out his debit card.
They settled on a price that didn’t hurt Kaz’s wallet too badly — but then, this was Inej; he’d go bankrupt for her — and established a line of contact between them.
Then he left, going out to sit in his car for a minute to rest his eyes before driving home to finish Wylan’s book.
By the three week and one day mark, the metalsmith called him in the middle of a meeting with Haskell.
He’d had to ignore it then, but as soon as Haskell caved to his negotiations, Kaz stepped out to call the metalsmith back.
“Yes?”
“It’s ready, if you’d like to come inspect it,” the man said, sounding exhausted. “Make sure it’s exactly what you want, and all that.”
Kaz inclined his head as he replied. “Of course. I can be over in an hour.”
The man made a deep agreeing noise. “I’ll see you in an hour, then.”
Kaz went over to the smith as soon as he could get away from Geels, and entered confidently, albeit limping. The cold snap was starting to affect him more than he’d care to admit to anyone other than his Crows.
“It’s here,” the man said as he guided Kaz over to it. “Is this suitable?”
Kaz handled the hairpin dagger carefully. It looked sharp, but he needed to ask. “Will it cut through anything?”
The metalsmith nodded. “Yes, it should cut through anything any other knife its size could. Here’s the sheath, I tried to make it as thin as possible without impeding either function.”
Kaz nodded, examining the sheath as well. He slipped it on, marveling a little at how smoothly it slipped on and off the blade. “It looks good,” he tried for a compliment.
“Good. You’re sure this isn’t going to end up on the news?” The man looked anxious suddenly.
Kaz gave him a thin smile. “Of course not,” he agreed. Inej knew better than to leave a weapon at the scene of a crime. And any injury it inflicted wouldn’t be able to be traced back to a hairpin of all things. So this man truly had nothing to fear, he decided.
The six crows dangling in varying lengths of chain from the top looked heavy enough to balance out the blade itself should Inej need to throw it.
Perfect. It looked perfect.
Kaz took the hairpin dagger in its sheath, and tucked it into a hidden pocket on him. “Well, I appreciate the time and effort you took with it,” he said a little stiltedly. He still struggled with the whole “thanking people” aspect of life.
The metalsmith dipped his head. “Of course. It was a pleasure to make.”
Kaz nodded once before leaving entirely.
He made it back home to make certain all of the meticulously crafted gifts he’d spent the past few months putting together were as perfect as they were going to get.
Yes. Yes, he decided that they were.
Their winter holiday was next week. He really was cutting it fairly close this year. Not as close as last year, of course, when he’d been putting the finishing touches on Nina’s customized jewelry box well past midnight on December 1st itself. But closer than any other time, for sure.
Well, either way, he thought as he fumbled with wrapping Wylan’s book before finally growling and starting over, he just hoped he’d done alright.
Whether or not they appreciated each gift as a prop for a heist was a little bit irrelevant.
Kaz kind of just wanted to make his partners happy, heist be damned.
Well. Heist be damned a little bit. Just enough to put it on the back burner for now. Not enough to dismiss it entirely, of course.
Kaz leaned back after successfully slapping a large bow onto Wylan’s wrapped gift, closing his eyes.
Since when did he just want to make his partners happy? Since when had that want shifted to be the priority?
It had been a while, he realized sharply, opening his eyes to stare at the small pile of presents he’d carefully put together.
But he found he didn’t mind as much as he probably should’ve.
How had all five of them snuck into his heart past all his defenses? And so quickly, too?
Surely this was Inej’s fault. She’d left the door open, forgotten to lock it back up again.
How else could the rest of them have gotten in?

KAZ’S GIFT

Their communal winter holiday got celebrated on December 1st. It seemed to be the best compromise, what with all the varying cultures and personal holidays happening that month. The Zenik family had celebrated the Jesus part of Christmas on the 25th, the Ghafas had celebrated the Winter Solstice on the 21st, the Van Eck family had gone with St Nicholas Day on the 6th, the Helvars celebrated St Lucia Day on the 13th, Jesper and Colm participated in Kwanzaa from the 26th to the New Year, and Kaz hadn’t celerated shit his entire childhood.
The concept of a gift giving holiday wasn’t so much new to him as it was foreign.
But the way everything had shaken out, no one shared a holiday. Which had led to a communal agreement to make up a day just for them, the six of them. Kaz suspected some of them just wanted him to have a day where he could gift and/or receive gifts. But they’d done this compromise date for years now, and it worked out well for the most part.
Except the part where Kaz had to sit there and allow his partners to give him gifts. That part made him a little squirmy.
Last year hadn’t been too bad, he conceded as he gathered his gifts in two large tote bags to haul downstairs where he could hear Inej and Nina singing terribly off key. Those women couldn’t hold a tune in a waterproofed bucket locked with a Shuyler. Minimal gifts, one small thing from each partner, and he’d been able to leave soon after to sit on the edge of the tub trying to will his ears to stop flaring quite so bright pink.
Inej had found him then, coming in and locking the door behind her. She’d perched on the counter, waiting for him to speak.
He hadn’t. She’d had to wrangle the issue out of him like a crocodile hunter.
“What’s got you so pink, Kaz?” she’d asked in her soft voice that was actual music to his blistering ears. He’d grumbled a bit about it until she’d finally asked, in a gentle tone he didn’t know if he even deserved to hear let alone receive, “Is getting gifts really so bad?”
Kaz had looked up at that, frowning. “Yes,” he’d said, hissed it, really.
Inej hadn’t even blinked. “Why?”
Kaz stopped short. “Because. Because –” he cut himself off. “Because it’s…humiliating.”
Inej’s face had stayed kind, stayed neutral. “It’s humiliating because…?”
Kaz had bit his lip hard enough he’d contemplated sewing a single stitch into it later. “Because it’s…blatant. It’s blatant, and I can’t…I don’t know how to…” he’d given up trying to explain then, but Inej seemed to understand.
“It’s a blatant show of love, and that’s hard for you to accept because you think love should be fought for. It should be hard won, sorely fought for, a battlefield,” she’d summarized eloquently.
He’d nodded slowly.
She’d continued. “And you feel like you didn’t earn it.”
Kaz had shot her a look. She’d just looked back at him. He’d sighed deeply. “Maybe,” he’d bitten out.
“What if I told you you had earned it?” Inej had proposed.
Kaz had studied her. “How.”
“By gifting to us as well,” she’d explained, leaning back against the wall. “It’s an exchange. It’s the thoughtfulness that counts, Kaz.” She’d opened her dark brown eyes. “But it’s ultimately an exchange. You gave Nina that handmade jewelry box. She gave you the pocket watch in exchange.”
Kaz had considered it. “...alright,” he agreed.
Inej had perked up. “Alright?” she’d verified.
Kaz had sighed again. “Alright,” he grunted as he stood again, letting her take his elbow as he led her out of the bathroom.
Inej had nodded once, and that had been the end of it.
Kaz made his way into the living room where Jesper and Matthias hung up decorations on the wall while Wylan took them out of their storage buckets. Inej and Nina came in, each holding two trays of various cookies and snacks Nina and Matthias had spent the day baking. He watched as five pairs of eyes latched onto him.
Feeling somehow self conscious, he ducked his head and fought back a bark at them to stop looking at him like that.
He crossed the room to sit in his chair by the fire, the one Nina, Jesper, and Wylan had bought him three Celebration Days ago. They’d turned it at some point to face away from the fire so he’d have no excuse to literally turn his back on them.
As if he would.
He set the two large totes to the side of his chair, crossing his legs and staring out at the coziness of the gathered atmosphere. One of the totes was entirely Nina’s dress, but the other one had the stack of everyone else’s gifts.
His brain suddenly became bombarded by anxiety that they would all hate them, that he’d somehow taken it a step too far, that he’d fucked up the one good thing in his life — what if Nina didn’t actually like pink or frills? What if Jesper’s drunken reply of his favorite color had been just that? A drunken reply? What if Wylan thought his gift to be over the top when loose sheets of music paper would’ve done the job just the same? What if —
Matthias came over to him, smiling down at him. “Can I kiss you?” he asked softly.
Kaz considered. “Yes,” he decided before he could lose his nerve.
Matthias’s grin grew impossibly wide and he leaned down just enough to kiss the top of his head.
Kaz closed his eyes at the tender display of love, determined to finish experiencing it before his self doubt could take over and ruin everything.
“Kaz!”
He opened his eyes as Matthias drew away and Wylan drew nearer, blue eyes shining impossibly bright. “Yes?”
Wylan beamed as he rocked on his feet, back and forth, the way he did when he got too excited to contain all his emotion properly. “Did you wanna help me decorate the tree?”
The tree was technically a Christmas tree — Nina had insisted on that aspect, there had been zero compromise on that decoration choice — but they covered it with various Not Christmas Related items, so it hardly stayed with that particular theme.
Kaz considered again.
Had Wylan’s eyes gotten wider in the two seconds since he’d last looked at them?
He sighed, and stood with the help of his cane.
Wylan made a noise somewhere between a squeal and a giggle that Kaz decided was absolutely adorable and he wanted more of it.
What could he even say?
He was a greedy, selfish man, and he loved Wylan like the greedy selfish man he was.
He followed his boyfriend over to the tree to be the tall person needed for this endeavor.
Wylan’s gentle hands passed him ornament after ornament. Some of them were store bought, but most of them were handmade. They’d started a tradition where every year one of them made an ornament for all of them. The first year, Nina had done it, starting the tradition in the first place with resin gingerbread men — and women — with clay accessories that that person would wear. Kaz’s gingerbread man had a red tie and a cane.
He hadn’t said as much when Nina had first handed them out, but he appreciated that damn gingerbread man.
The second year Wylan had continued the small tradition with portraits of each person on small wooden plaques. He’d secured hooks on the backs of them so they could hang. Wylan had given Kaz’s portrait a smirk.
He hadn’t said as much when Wylan had first handed them out, but he also appreciated that damn portrait.
The third year, Kaz had been chosen, and he’d had small clay crows made for each of his partners. He didn’t have the specific imagination required to do much more than that, although he had personalized them with small, different colored gems for eyes. Nina’s crow’s eyes had been pink. Wylan’s had been blue. Inej’s had been a dark purple he’d searched for weeks for. It seemed indigo wasn’t a very popular color for millimeter high plastic colored gems.
Jesper had made a comment about how he could still potentially brain someone with his clay crow, which Kaz had accepted as a compliment.
This year, Inej had the ornaments, and he found himself somewhat excited to find out what she’d come up with?
Which was a little weird.
Emotions were still so ridiculously hard for him.
Wylan looked up at him expectantly.
Kaz shot back into the present. “What?”
Wylan smiled sweetly. “Matthias asked if you wanted help with the ornaments,” he explained patiently.
Kaz looked down at what his own gloved hands were even doing to prompt such a question. He found them shaking halfway up the tree, holding Nina’s clay crow and Jes’ gingerbread man limply. “No,” he said quickly. He hung them carefully on the tree to prove his point.
Wylan handed him Inej’s portrait. “Any particular reason you froze like that?” he asked casually.
Kaz glanced down at him, taking Inej’s portrait carefully from him, certain his hands had stopped shaking before doing so. He wasn’t about to accidentally drop one of these because he was too busy being sentimental to pay due attention. “Nope,” he said roughly, holding out his hand for the last ornament until Inej’s got handed out tonight.
“You sure?” Wylan continued, handing him Matthias’ clay crow just as carefully.
Kaz hung the crow with white geometric eyes on an empty branch. “Was just thinking,” he mumbled, stepping away from the tree to make certain there weren’t too many bare spots. He’d put two gingerbread men too close together, he decided, stepping back up the tree to move Wylan and Matthias’s ornaments further apart.
There, he nodded to himself.
He turned around to see Wylan gazing almost dreamily up at him. “What?” he grumbled, limping back over to his chair. He needed to rest his knee. These painful winter nights made him appreciate the summer far more in hindsight.
Wylan shrugged. “You’re just really cute,” he said plainly before getting up to put the storage box to the side.
Kaz’s face flushed without his permission.
No one else commented on it, a detail he was grateful for at the moment.
Then Inej came into the room with a small box. She beamed, and Kaz couldn’t help but give her a little smile back.
Jesper and Matthias stopped what they were doing in the corner — which looked to be some kind of trade off game of hanging streamers and kissing — and came over to the couch. Jesper sprawled across the length of two cushions while Matthias sat behind him on the edge. Seeing where he’d seated himself, Jesper grinned and leaned back against Matthias’s slightly angled chest.
Kaz’s own chest tightened like he might die about it. He forced himself to breathe through the pain and the vague panic that seemed to rise from nowhere.
Inej sat on the sofa near Kaz’s chair, curling up next to Nina, who stroked her hair lightly.
Kaz’s chest truly wanted him to die now, he was sure of it. He tried to course correct without drawing attention to himself, but failed when he let loose a weak gasp when Wylan adjusted to sit with Jesper’s feet on his lap.
Five pairs of eyes swung to look at him.
He schooled his expression to hide the sudden spike of whatever was going on, but every last one of his partners looked worriedly at him still. “It’s nothing,” he tried, but Wylan moved Jesper’s feet off his lap and came up to him.
“Hey,” he said gently, and Kaz avoided his eyes. The pressure in his chest did not alleviate, and he didn’t know how to get it to. “You don’t have to look at me, but I wondered if I could sit near you? I won’t touch you unless you want me to —”
Kaz nodded quickly. “Yes. Yes,” he swallowed down the bile of righteous indignation that threatened to replace the ache in his ribcage. He didn’t like either, but he’d rather the ache than the bile any day.
Wylan nodded. “Okay,” he agreed, sitting down at Kaz’s feet, his right shoulder narrowly avoiding Kaz’s bent left knee.
Kaz breathed slower, trying to ease the sudden spike of everything that Wylan’s close presence brought with it. “Can you…you can…lean. On me,” he muttered so only Wylan and possibly Inej could hear.
Wylan leaned against his leg, snuggling up against his knee.
Kaz couldn’t breathe again.
It wasn’t actual panic. It was something else that had triggered panic.
His head dizzy, he clutched at the arms of his chair, squeezing the daylights out of the ends.
“Doing okay?” Wylan whispered while Jesper and Matthias loudly argued across the room with Inej and Nina about whether chocolate-less chocolate chip cookies were distinct from sugar cookies.
Kaz knew the answer to one of those — those types of cookies were, in fact, different — but he appreciated the ruse. His body seemed hell bent on betraying him, but Wylan’s soft voice echoed in his mind, drawing him back and back and back into the present enough to keep his feet on the floor. “Hmm,” he managed for Wylan.
Wylan began to get off of him.
And he didn’t know if he could handle that.
“Stay,” he pleaded in his low, gravelly voice that barely qualified as one.
“I’m staying,” Wylan agreed, leaning back against his leg.
Kaz’s lungs seemed to deflate.
“What if Inej passes out her ornaments while we just sit here and breathe?” Wylan suggested.
Kaz nodded slowly. “Okay.”
Wylan called over to Inej. “Do we get to see what’s in that box of yours or not?”
Inej smiled, her fake heated argument with Jesper stalling in a second.
Kaz forgot to breathe for a minute, his mind emptying at the sight.
“Breathing, remember?” Wylan prompted him quietly.
Kaz inhaled far too loudly, but no one commented on it as Inej slipped around the room handing each person their small ornament. They looked like flat circles of fabric.
Inej slid over to Kaz’s chair, handing one of them down to Wylan.
Wylan smiled down at his. Kaz could see it much better now. They looked like little embroidery hoops she’d actually embroidered a small crow with safety goggles onto.
Inej’s hand held Kaz’s aloft, and he blinked at it before accepting it almost greedily.
Oh, who was he kidding?
He accepted it greedily.
His embroidered hoop displayed a small crow as well, although this one had a small hat that looked suspiciously like Kaz’s favorite Inej had picked out for him years ago, a crow head cane, and a red tie around its neck.
Kaz stared at it, trying to decide how he felt about it.
Inej settled back down with Nina, handing hers over at the same time. Nina squealed and Inej leaned over with a high giggle to accept a forehead kiss from their overzealous girlfriend.
Kaz let his eyes travel up and over to her shining brown eyes. Hers darted over to him, holding his eyes hostage for a good few seconds.
He gave her a single nod.
She beamed.
Jesper could barely sit still at the moment so Kaz rummaged in the second tote to find Jesper’s small box.
“Jes,” Kaz called, earning his attention.
“Yep?” Jesper very nearly vibrated. He did that, when he had too much excitement in his body to contain all of it.
“Catch,” he continued, and the small jewelry box sailed through the air in a high arc.
Jes caught it deftly — as Kaz had known he would. He looked up at Kaz, a clear question in his eyes.
Kaz gave him a single nod too.
Jesper popped the box open, gasping loudly.
“What?” Nina called over.
Jesper took the red ring out of its shaped divot in the velvet, slipping it on his right ring finger, spinning it immediately with his thumb. He grinned up at Kaz, who fought not to avert his gaze. Why was eye contact so difficult right now? Was this how Wylan felt all the time? “Thanks, Kaz!” He nearly yelled across the room.
Kaz tipped his head to the side. “You’re welcome,” he returned, maybe a little stiffly.
Jesper spun the ring so fast Kaz had to note how grateful he was that the instructions had included the directions to slather it in coconut oil first. It wouldn’t have spun quite so quickly if he hadn’t. And he knew that because he’d attempted to do that exact activity with it when it first arrived because he’d known the speed Jesper did everything at. “No, really, thank you,” he held Kaz’s eyes captive.
Kaz nodded. “No, really, you’re welcome,” he echoed.
Wylan laughed in front of him.
Kaz reached down into the second tote for the other gifts. He wanted them to have the gifts, but he still didn’t know how much he liked the whole thanking him part. It still felt awkward and unnecessary. “Wy,” he said in a low voice as Nina tossed Jesper a small package as well.
Wylan’s blue eyes met his expectantly. “Yes? Can I do something?”
Kaz shook his head. “No, I just…thank…you. And also here,” he mumbled, shoving the wrapped gift into his hands.
Wylan smiled up at him, receiving the gift with as much excitement as Jesper had, albeit much more muted. “Thanks,” he said, starting to carefully tear apart Kaz’s horrid wrapping job.
“You don’t even know what it is,” Kaz protested softly.
“I know. I’m saying thanks for getting me anything,” Wylan shrugged, continuing his task without looking at Kaz.
Kaz struggled to articulate himself when he got any kind of good emotions. “You…of course I made you something,” he muttered.
Wylan finished unwrapping the book, opening it and giving his own little gasp. “Kaz, you made this?”
Matthias looked curiously over at them, apparently hearing Wylan’s comment over where Jesper rambled to Nina about where exactly he would wear the fancy looking silk shirt she’d gotten him.
Kaz cleared his throat: “I mean…yes. I couldn’t…there wasn’t anything exactly like it…I had to just make it,” he tried to explain, feeling put on the spot despite only Matthias and Wylan looking at him right now.
Wylan’s eyes shined. “You’re so thoughtful,” he sighed, leaning back against Kaz’s leg again.
Kaz fought not to squirm. “Hmm,” he managed, forcing his eyes to stay on Wylan.
“I mean, it’ll go perfect with my chemicals books,” he continued, flipping eagerly through the book as if being certain of how many pages of sheet music he could create. “But you knew that already, right?” His blue eyes found Kaz’s eyes — and it felt like his dirty, rotten soul too.
Kaz frowned. “…maybe I did,” he said noncommittally.
Wylan laughed and Kaz desperately wanted to collect his partner’s laughs in little bottles he could line up on his windowsill. He got that feeling occasionally, and it overwhelmed him almost every time. “Yeah, yeah,” Wylan said a little dismissively. “You pretend you don’t notice, when actually you notice everything.”
Kaz ground his teeth. “Not everything,” he tried to protest.
Wylan shot him a quick smirk. “Everything except maybe emotions,” he corrected himself.
Kaz frowned.
Wylan continued. “Well, now, that’s not true either. Is it? You notice emotions, you just don’t know what to do with them.”
Kaz scowled now. “Emotions are silly and unpredictable,” he said a little heatedly.
Wylan just smiled. “Thank you, Kaz. It’s perfect,” he changed the subject. And just in time, too, Kaz might’ve exploded with those silly and unpredictable emotions he got from talking about them in any regard.
Now he got to explode with different silly and unpredictable emotions.
Huzzah.
Because he had Matthias’ attention now, he handed the square box over to him without further comment.
Matthias took it just as silently. He opened the top and then just…sat there. Staring at the contents of the box.
Kaz chewed the inside of his cheek nervously. Here was it: he’d fucked up with it somehow and Matthias, kind as he was, was thinking up the perfect insult to slap Kaz with, because of course he’d stepped over the line, it was inevitable, and acting like it wasn’t would do no one any good. Kaz forced himself not to duck his head with the budding shame.
But then Matthias opened the album, eyes flickering over each picture one by one, drinking them all in carefully with his sharp blue eyes.
Kaz’s toes curled as he tried to convince himself that Matthias opening it at all might be a good sign.
Matthias, finally, looked up and called out to someone.
But it wasn’t Kaz.
“Inej,” he said loud enough to get her attention over where Jesper and Nina talked loudly to each other.
She looked over at him with a bright smile. “Yep?”
He picked the album out of the box to show her the front cover. “You were right,” was all he said, which didn’t make any goddamn sense to Kaz, but Inej just beamed harder.
“I’m always right,” she said comfortably, stretching out her legs.
Kaz looked from Matthias to Inej, then back at Matthias. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked them both.
Inej shrugged. “I’m always right. Right, Kaz?”
Kaz stared at her, trying to decide what was even going on. “I mean, yes,” he said leadingly. “I just usually know what it is you’re right about.”
Inej gave a peal of laughter that set his stomach on fire. “You do, usually. And you will,” she promised. “But I think you should finish handing out your gifts before you get to be enlightened.” She sat firmly on the edge of the couch, a smirk lacing her perfect lips.
Kaz sighed deeply, but fished out the last gift from the first tote bag out, tossing her the small taped box.
She caught the underhanded thrown box with one hand, pulling it in closer to slide her fingernail through the thin tape he’d had to put on the edges so the lid would stay. The hilt of the hair pin turned out to be much bumpier than he’d originally anticipated.
Inej opened the box careful, gasping loudly when her eyes fell on it. “What? Kaz,” she gaped at him as she slipped the small sheath off and back on. She looked at him with such love he thought he might explode about it. “You know me so well.”
Kaz dipped his head at her. “I like to think so,” he said almost flippantly.
Inej’s smile softened. “You should. Because you do. Nina, love, look what Kaz gave me!” She held up the pin.
Nina looked a little confused. “A…hair pin?” she asked cautiously.
Inej nodded eagerly. “Yes, but it’s also a dagger! Look!” She took the sheath off again.
Nina laughed. “Oh, he does know you so well!”
Kaz nudged the second tote toward Nina. “I like to think I know you just as well, but you’ll have to be the judge of that.”
Nina glanced at the tote, her eyes growing wider and shinier. “Kaz,” she said, not finishing whatever she’d been about to say when Wylan handed her the entire tote and she dug inside. “Oh, fuck.”
Her declaration earned Matthias and Jesper’s attentions as well.
“What, what, what?” Jesper asked rapidly.
In response, Nina lifted the dress completely out of the tote, draping it over her and Inej’s laps. Her eyes were as wide as little green moons, and then suddenly filled with shining tears.
Kaz truly didn’t know what to do with that reaction, so he dropped his gaze entirely to stare at the back of Wylan’s head instead.
“Kaz,” Nina said in a watery voice. “You remembered.”
Kaz shrugged dismissively. “I remember a lot of things,” he tried, but Nina made a harsh noise in the back of her throat that made him look up at her.
Her eyes were still wet, but she frowned now. “Oh, no, you don’t get to wiggle your way out of this,” she said hotly, stroking the ruffles around the neckline. “You remembered our conversation, and you remembered my favorite color, and you remembered my size, I didn’t realize you even knew that information, but you remembered it anyway. And that’s really sweet of you.”
Kaz frowned now. “It’s not sweet,” he argued immediately. “It’s the expected level of effort for a gift giving situation, and —”
Nina scoffed. “— oh, yeah, ‘cause literally every boyfriend would do this, with this attention to detail, for their girlfriend,” she said sarcastically.
“Wouldn’t they?” Kaz asked tartly.
“No,” Nina said firmly. “They wouldn’t.”
Kaz balled up his hands into fists before he could stop himself. He wasn’t going to physically fight her about it, obviously, he just needed to chill out. He forced himself to relax his hands. “Fine. They wouldn’t. You’re welcome,” he flung the words at her.
Nina’s smile returned. Her smile was so fucking cute, he reflected immediately. “Thank you, truly. I will treasure it always.”
Kaz forced himself not to snap at her about it. “You don’t have to do that,” he mumbled so perhaps she wouldn’t hear it.
Nina heard him anyway. “I want to, though, so suck it up, buttercup,” she tossed her hair with her elegant hand while Inej laughed.
Kaz fought not to roll his eyes.
“Okay, now Kaz’s gift!” Jesper yelled.
Kaz started. He forgot about this part. The receiving gifts part.
He didn’t want to. He really just didn't want to.
Inej nodded to Matthias.
He picked up a large case up from behind the couch and came over, laying it across Kaz’s lap. “It’s from all of us,” he said softly. “We thought one gift from all of us might be all you could handle anyway.”
Kaz nodded his thanks, and stared at the case.
“Open it before you can deduce what it is!” Nina called through cupped hands.
Jesper giggled.
Kaz opened it before he could deduce what it was.
And it was…a camera. A very nice camera, actually. But a proper one, with all sorts of knobs and add ons and a stand and cords and…
…he might cry.
His name, engraved across the front, surrounded by the initials of all of his partners in their handwriting circled around it. Jesper’s J looked the most scrawled. Inej’s cursive I looked as elegant as she was. Wylan’s looked like a stencil.
It was beautiful, and it was his, and they had given it to him.
He really might cry.
“Do you like it?” Wylan asked at his feet.
Kaz didn’t answer. There was a lump in his throat preventing him from doing so.
“Did we just make Kaz Brekker speechless?” Nina asked loudly.
Kaz didn’t answer, further proving her point. He just…let his eyes soak up as much of the sight of the — his — camera without speaking.
His partners…they’d gotten him a gift, and yeah, they’d done that last year and the year before that too, but for some reason, it was hitting him now.
His partners loved him. A lot. Probably as much as he loved them. Which was saying something. He didn’t even know what to do with all of his happiness. And it was happiness. He was…happy. Yeah.
“Look at that grin,” Jesper whispered loudly to Matthias.
“Kaz, are you crying?” That had been Nina, sounding rather worried.
Kaz shook his head, but wet droplets hit his arms when he did, disproving his denial immediately.
“Kaz,” Inej says gently, and he looked up at her, his vision a little blurry at the bottom. “We love you. We love you so much. And we know that you love us.”
Kaz nodded along. All of that was true, but he still couldn’t speak.
“So it’s okay. Thank you for the gifts, Kaz. They were all incredibly thoughtful,” Inej continued, smiling warmly at him.
He nodded once. They were back to thanking, but he hadn’t even done that part for them yet. He cleared his throat to try to dislodge the lump in it.
Five pairs of eyes latched onto him.
“I — thank. You,” he stammered, trying to stay collected enough to finish. “I…I love it.” His voice squeaked embarrassingly at the end, but no one commented on it. They all just gazed at him with warm expressions.
Wylan turned and leaned against his leg again.
Kaz let out a slow, steady exhale trying to stay calm enough to navigate this situation.
“Okay?” Wylan asked quietly.
Kaz forced his mouth to continue making sounds. “Mhm,” is what came out.
Wylan accepted it instantly anyway. “Good.”
Kaz let his gloved hands carefully fiddle with the pieces, glancing at the instructions occasionally for how to put it together.
Once he’d set it up, and taken two pictures of the tree in all its shining and handmade ornament glory, he directed it at each of his partners in turn. They’d all left him to his own devices to participate in other holiday activities, but they all stayed in the large room. They all looked…happy.
They looked happy too.
And he wanted to remember this.
Nina eating a plateful of various cookies, a small crumb stuck to her lip gloss, wearing her new pink princess dress. She looked stunning. Click.
Jesper absently spinning the fidget ring while losing at Uno with Inej, his big grin oxymoronic to the way he held what looked like twenty extra cards. He looked pleased with himself. Click.
Matthias flipping through the end of the photo album with Trassel Jr., smiling wider and wider with every picture, slowly running his fingers down a couple of them. He looked smitten. Click.
Inej putting her hair up with the knife hair pin, her tongue stuck out between her lips in concentration. She looked beautiful. Click.
Wylan balancing precariously on a stepstool to put the star on the top of the tree — they’d apparently forgotten earlier — laughing while Matthias kept him steady until the step stool held absolutely none of his weight and Matthias just carried him entirely up against the branches. He looked happy. Click.
Kaz put the camera down, and just watched his partners celebrate their time together.
Eventually, Inej, her hair piled up on top of her head elegantly came over and extended her hand to him.
He stared at it for a moment before placing his camera and its case carefully off to the side. Then he grabbed her hand and allowed her to help pull him to his feet.
She began to drag him away from his chair.
“What are you doing?” Kaz gave a light laugh when he stumbled off balance trying to follow her.
“Loving you,” she said simply, pulling him into the kitchen.
They stood there, their only audience the food on the counters.
“You’ve already done that,” he pointed out, still holding her hand.
“Well, I wanna keep doing it,” she said firmly, her gaze softening as her dark eyes searched his. “Kiss?”
Kaz barely considered it. “Yes,” he agreed, leaning down.
Inej met him halfway, their mouths meeting softly, gently, tenderly.
The Harbor lapped at his ankles, but stayed mostly at bay.
Good. He was experiencing enough emotions without dragging all that into the mix.
Inej pressed a little harder against him.
He let her, soft and pliant under her ever kind lips. Their hands clasped tightly in each other’s, they kissed until Kaz had to pull back and breathe.
“I love you, Kaz,” Inej said in no uncertain terms.
Kaz wanted to do that. To say it like that. “I…I…I love. I love you,” he managed, choking on the middle word, which was a silly thing to trip on, because that was the most important part of that short sentence, and besides. It was the truest part.
Inej’s expression perked up.
Kaz really thought any of his partner’s happy faces could outshine a goddamn angel, complete with wings and a halo or whatever details you chose to give one. “I’m…Inej, I’m…” he stopped short.
“Yes?” she asked, sounding worried adjacent.
“I’m happy,” he said when the words allowed themselves to be said.
Inej beamed. “I’m happy too.”
“Good,” he said, pulling her in closer into a one arm hug, squeezing her shoulder tightly.
They went back out to the main room to find Nina and Jesper arguing — it sounded to be a continuation of their cookie argument from earlier — and Wylan and Matthias laying on each other on the floor, Trassel Jr. curled up in Matthias’ bent legs. Wylan might’ve been sleeping as his boyfriend played with his curly hair gently, but Matthias caught Kaz’s eye as they walked in and smiled brighter than a goddamn angel.
Kaz and Inej sat on the edge of one of the couches, close but not touching anymore.
But Kaz wanted to take more pictures of the new scenes. He wanted to keep even more memories.
“I’ll get your camera,” Inej said with a smug grin, flitting away to retrieve it.
Kaz accepted it from her when she brought it back, not bothering to ask how she’d know.
Inej was always right, after all.
Kaz aimed his camera at the scene of all of them in front of him, leaning back a little to get Inej in the shot too.
She smiled, soft and sweet. Like a goddamn angel.
Click.