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He knew what he wanted to do, and the purchase had been made, it was just the matter of when and how to present it to Neil which was unresolved.
He did not want to do this in a restaurant, or anywhere with spectators for that matter, but then he didn't want it to happen at one of their houses either. He'd never find the right time, and it didn't feel quite special enough. On the other hand, the other option was to cook some nice dinner to go with the announcement, but he didn't want any culinary disasters to possibly ruin the evening, so that was that idea ruled out.
The only real option was to go somewhere outdoors, and secluded, and that was how Chris came up with the idea of going to the beach. A nice quiet seaside area, as opposed to a tourist heavy beach of course. They could make a nice day out of it; lunch on the grass, a leisurely stroll, and hopefully the right time to give Neil the very important present, which was currently stowed away in one of his drawers under a pile of t-shirts.
He’d been planning the day a lot in his head, though not as much in the practical sense. In fact, he bought most of the picnic food quite last minute, picking out some sandwiches, fruit and confections from the supermarket. He made tea for them in a flask, and him and Neil set off in the car to the beach on a slightly cloudy Sunday morning.
The main purpose of the day was contained inside its small box, now inside the pocket of Chris's jacket. He really wanted to do this for Neil. His need to tell him the words he wanted to say had channeled his apprehension about it into a giddy impatience to get there. Chris only hoped that when they were there, he'd be able to find the right time and the right words.
Once they arrived at their destination, they parked the car next to the seafront. Though it was slightly overcast, it wasn't cold, and there were more people around the seaside than Chris had expected there to be.
They walked along the promenade next to the beach looking for a grassy area to sit and have their lunch, and it took quite a while. All the picnic tables were taken up and the grass was dotted with groups and families. Chris frowned.
“Why did everyone decide to come here today? It’s not even sunny”, he complained.
“Well, we decided to come here too I suppose”, Neil replied.
They kept walking and walking until they finally settled on an area in the field further down. It wasn’t exactly ideal. There were still a lot of people around and it was not quite as idyllic as Chris had maybe envisaged in his mind.
However, they were tired of walking now, as well as hungry, so it would have to do. At least the food was nice, though Chris probably would’ve enjoyed it more if he wasn’t so nervous about this present, and what he was going to say about it.
They tucked into their sandwiches and drank tea from the flask.
"What are you thinking about?" Neil asked him, spying his pensive expression with interest.
"Um...", Chris hesitated. "Nothing".
Neil looked at him skeptically.
"No, I was just thinking...", Chris swallowed, leaving his sentence unfinished.
"Yes?"
"Marks & Spencer sandwiches have really gone downhill".
Neil looked at his half eaten sandwich and considered his statement. "Hmm, I agree. And they're usually overpriced".
Neil continued on a mini-rant about sandwich prices, while Chris shook his head at his own inability to reach the actual subject he was meant to be talking about. It was so nerve-wracking, talking about what he felt for Neil, directly and out loud, and it seemed so difficult to go from talking about topics like sandwiches and complaining about litter on the grass to switching the topic to love and things.
Neil even noted that he was in a funny mood, but Chris just shrugged when Neil commented on it, beginning to get annoyed, because they were quickly getting through their food and he didn’t know when he was going to actually give him his present.
Then Neil was rummaging through the remaining food supplies and taking out a bag containing a giant chocolate chip cookie.
"Wait a sec-" Chris interrupted, snatching the bag from Neil's hands. "That's mine".
Neil looked unimpressed for a second, before Chris produced another bag- "This is yours. Bought you a Danish pastry, 'cause I know it's your favourite".
Neil laughed and took the bag. "That's very sweet of you", he smiled, giving Chris an adoring look.
"Yeah, yeah", Chris dismissed, taking a bite of his cookie.
Neil stretched his legs out on the blanket and leaned back drinking his tea, and Chris observed him with a smile. Unfortunately, it wasn't getting any easier to broach the subject. Especially when this place seemed even more crowded than the restaurant scenario he had wanted to avoid.
After a while Chris got fed up and decided they should go on a walk further along the path and onto the beach further ahead, which was purely his bid to find a more solitary area. Neil agreed to this, and packing up their things, they began to walk again.
Maybe I’ll have to do it on the beach, Chris thought. Is that too cheesy? Maybe I haven’t got a choice. There were still people on the path where they were walking, but thankfully the beach ahead looked empty.
Once they were far from anyone else, Chris grew nervous again, thinking now’s the time.
"You know what this is?" Neil asked, surveying the solitary beach and the sea's gentle waves.
"What?" Chris asked.
Neil then wrapped his arms around Chris from behind and kissed his neck. "Very romantic", he whispered.
"Ok, ok...", Chris laughed and squirmed ticklishly as Neil hugged and kissed him, but he couldn't resist staying in his embrace for a while anyway.
Now Neil being all romantic was distracting him from trying to be romantic. Still, he turned in Neil's arms to face him and hug him tightly in return, resting his head on his shoulder.
Or maybe this is the perfect cue to introduce the present, he thought. He drew away from Neil's shoulder and was preparing to clear his throat to speak when his thoughts were interrupted by the feeling of cold drops of water landing on him from above.
“You’re joking…”, he muttered, as the rainfall began to intensify. "Tell me this is a joke..."
“Oh god, the car’s so far away”, Neil protested, trying to bring the collar of his coat up around his neck. “And there’s nowhere to shelter either!”
“Come on, let’s go”, Chris sighed in resignation, putting his hood up and plunging his hands deep in his pockets as they rushed back.
Even with a coat and jacket on respectively, both of them were completely soaked by the time they reached the car. They both shivered and cursed and Chris was so angry he barely said anything as they drove away from the beach.
On their journey back they had to stop to get petrol.
“Why don’t we get a coffee at the service station to warm up?” Neil suggested.
Chris was so annoyed, he had just wanted to get home as soon as possible at this point, but the promise of a hot drink did tempt him so he agreed. After they got the petrol and Chris bought them both coffee to take away, they began to drive out of the service station, only for Chris to head into the car park instead and park in one of the bays.
“Chris, why are you parking here? We’ve already got our coffee”, Neil complained.
Chris sighed loudly in annoyance. “I’m just so pissed off that this day was ruined”, he grumbled, leaning on the steering wheel.
“What are you talking about? It wasn’t ruined. We had a nice picnic”.
“Yes, it was ruined”, he snapped. “Firstly, we’re soaked to the bone. And secondly-” he paused. “Secondly, I had wanted to give you something- a present- while we were there, and I couldn’t”.
Neil looked at him, face full of sudden surprise. “A present?”
Chris nodded, still frowning.
“Just give it to me now?” Neil suggested.
“A service station car park was not the location I had in mind”.
“Or at home?”
Chris considered it for a moment but then shook his head. “No, I’ve been putting it off too long as it is”, he sighed.
“What’s the big deal?”
“Ugh, it’s just- I need to explain something beforehand”.
Neil looked confused.
“Neil, I’ve been thinking about us……and, um- Ok, so this isn't to do with marriage”, Chris tried to explain. Neil was just staring at him wide-eyed. “I mean, never say never I guess, but that’s not what this is about-”
Neil continued to stare at him. “What do you mean, Chris?”
It's all going wrong, Chris panicked. "I just mean- I wanted to give you something to mark our relationship, but it’s not a marriage proposal. For fuck’s sake, I knew I couldn’t explain it properly".
Chris reached into his jacket pocket and produced the small box, handing it over to Neil.
“Just open it”.
Neil opened the box to two simple but elegant gold rings, and stared at them speechlessly.
“I don’t know if you’d want to wear a ring”, Chris explained, “but I wanted to give this to you as a symbol for our relationship. Look at the engraving inside”, he added quietly.
Neil looked and saw ‘N.T. & C.L.’ engraved in small letters inside the smooth interior of each ring.
“Oh my”, Neil sighed. “Chris…”
“Too much?” Chris asked.
“No, it’s perfect”, Neil looked over at him incredulously. “I can’t believe it…”, he looked at the rings again. “Thank you”.
“How do you feel about the idea?”
Neil’s face softened and he looked moved. “Chris, of course I want to wear your ring”.
Chris smiled widely, for the first time since it had started raining.
“Here, let me”, he said softly, taking Neil’s hand and sliding the ring onto his finger. He then put his own ring on.
“I’m sorry this isn’t the ideal location I had planned for this, but what I want to say in giving you this ring, and wearing my own, is that I love you, and I will love you for the rest of our lives. That's never going to change”.
Neil nodded, and he looked so overjoyed, his eyes sparkling and face bright, it rendered all of Chris's worries about doing this completely insignificant. Chris couldn’t help but reach out to him, and Neil did the same, and they kissed as well as they could from their separate seats in the front of the car.
After a few seconds, Neil drew back to look at him, and spoke softly; "Chris, what you said; you know the feeling's mutual, don't you. I'm always going to love you too".
Chris stared at him intently, and nodded slowly. Then he smiled. He reached up, framing the side of Neil's face with his hand, and leaned in to kiss him again.
When they broke apart they both shivered, suddenly remembering their clothes were still soaked from the rain.
Chris turned the engine on to turn on the car’s heating. “I’ll kiss you properly when we get home”, he smirked, glancing sideways at Neil.
They drove out of the service station and onto the motorway as the rain continued to beat down on the windscreen, and Neil continued to shiver, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Put my woolly hat on”, Chris advised. “I left it in the car so it’s dry, unlike all our clothes. Suppose we’ll have to get changed when we get home too”, he complained.
Neil took up the offer of his woolly hat, and Chris looked over at him when the traffic slowed them down, thinking of how funny he looked wearing it. Neil was staring out at the landscape through the side window, arms still crossed over his chest, fingertips gently passing over the ring on his other hand. Chris looked back at the road and smiled, surer than ever that he'd done the right thing.