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Chapter Text

Harry didn’t know how it had started, but he has been having a weird prickling sensation in the back of his throat recently. It was an uncomfortable and heavy feeling, and it hurt to swallow anything. It was harder for him to breathe and he noticed his stamina had been getting worse, but the school nurse wasn’t concerned, so why should he be?

He was a wizard, and the diagnostic spell the nurse had used said nothing other than a sore throat, so there was no issue other than him being dramatic.

He had no reason to worry, right?

Well, that was his thought process until he started coughing up flower petals. He had only been going to the bathroom during class after being excused by the teacher, saying he felt sick. And he did, but instead of puke, flowers appeared in the toilet bowl.

They were red and had quite long petals, but they were absolutely beautiful. They reminded him of Lily’s, like his mom.

He didn’t know if it was supposed to be a prank, but he headed towards the school nurse anyway. He sort of hoped it was a sick form of a magical prank because he had heard of something similar before and he didn’t like the sound of it.

With a hesitant hand, Harry knocked on the door to the nurse's office and entered it once he heard confirmation. He saw the head nurse sitting there, who gave him a patient smile.

‘’Ah, mister Potter. Back already?’’ She was similar to Madam Pomfrey, and Harry always wondered what happened to her before Pomfrey got the position.

‘’Yes, madam.’’ He took a few steps inside and headed over to her, ‘’I have.. okay so, I don’t quite know how to explain this.’’

‘’Take your time, I can wait.’’ Well, the words were reassuring enough, but if it was what Harry thought it was, it really couldn’t wait.

‘’Thank you, um, so, I had this feeling that I had to puke. So I excused myself from Professor Dumbledore class to go to the bathroom, and instead of puking, I coughed up some.. flower petals.’’ He knew it sounded absurd, but from the dark look on the nurse's face it seemed he wasn’t totally speaking nonsense.

‘’Could you describe what the flower petals looked like, dear?’’

‘’Well, it’s red and it kind of looks like a lily. Sort of spidery maybe, and the petals curl inwards from what I saw. There weren’t that many petals, only about six or seven.’’

The nurse sighed, and Harry didn’t know if it was because he was oversharing or if it was because the nurse was worried about him. The latter, he hoped but also didn’t. Maybe it was just because he was over-explaining, then.

The nurse stood up with a heavy expression on her face and pointed towards a nearby bed. ‘’Take a seat, I’ll be right with you.’’

That didn’t sound good, but Harry took a seat anyway. He was starting to feel worried now..

His mind kept crawling back to the same conclusion, about a disease he had learned about in his health class in the muggle world. But it couldn’t be that, because there was no one Harry had a crush on, much less love right now.

He was way too busy with Tom, to stop him from continuing his lifelong plan. To stop him from turning into Voldemort.

But if it wasn’t that, then what could it be?

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t even notice when the nurse came back with a heavy book in her hand. Her eyes held a sad shimmer to it, which was more confusing than anything, yet she smiled at him. ‘’Here are all the lilies, could you point out the one you saw?’’ Harry took the book from her outstretched hands with a nod, fluttering through the pages.

Lilies were beautiful flowers, much like his mother was.

He finally stopped on a flower, the red spider lily. ‘’I think it looked like this.’’ The nurse took a seat next to him, grasping gently at the cover of the book. ‘’The spider lily; a symbol of love, passion, desire, courage and.. death.’’

Harry bit his lip, suddenly feeling very nervous at the sound of her shaky voice. ‘’But why..? I mean, is there a reason that I..?’’

‘’Is there.. anyone you have feelings for? A special girl that comes to mind maybe?’’

‘’No madam.’’ He answered truthfully, there really was no one. Tom didn’t count because that was his mission, and he most certainly wasn’t in love with any of his other Slytherin housemates.

Sensing his hesitation, she spoke again. ‘’If it’s a boy, that’s okay too.’’ Harry choked on his spit, staring at her.

He hadn’t even been thinking about any girls–wait, wasn’t that worse? He had only been thinking about Tom, and technically his housemates but.. he didn’t really talk to them enough to gain feelings for them.

God, he was going crazy. Where was Ginny when you needed her? Oh right, unborn. Her parents didn’t even exist yet. As horrible as it sounded, he never felt that attached to Ginny. He did what felt right, and what was easy for him. It was horrible to use someone for their feelings, but it made him feel loved.

It was a different type of love than he craved, and he didn’t crave romantic love from her.
‘’Mister Potter..?’’

‘’Oh–uhm, sorry. I was lost in thought.’’ She gave him a sad smile, her hand itching to rub his back soothingly. ‘’I can’t think of anyone..’’ Tom.

‘’But it could be either?’’ He nodded, even though he wasn’t sure if he was being truly honest with himself. ‘’Do you know what it might be..?’’

Instead of moving her hands to his back, she grasped his hands, her old and gentle hands on top of his. ‘’My dear boy, have you heard of something called Hanahaki disease?’’

.
.

‘’Yes, madam..’’ Neville had talked about it once, his grandma had suffered from it which was why he had done it for a project, and Harry still remembered some of the details. Most of it was the causes and how to get rid of it, but Harry found it beautiful in a sick and twisted way.

If only that person loved you back, that is.

‘’So then you know..?’’

‘’Can you explain a bit more? I’m a bit hazy on the details.’’

‘’Right,’’ She continued, moving her thumb comfortingly over his hand. ‘’Hanahaki disease happens from one-sided love, or when people think they are experiencing one-sided love. Usually, it’s a very strong form of love. Even more so than a crush, think of an Amortentia potion without actually taking it.’’ That wasn’t reassuring at all.

Noting his expression, she continued. ‘’To get rid of it, you’ll need to confess your feelings to them, and they’ll need to return it. You can’t lie, the flowers will know.’’

‘’..There’s another way right?’’ He held his breath, his heart beating anxiously in his chest. The grim look on the woman's face was scary, he hated it. He felt small again, unknowing.

Afraid.

‘’There’s a surgery you can take, it’s.. taxing on the body. But there are great consequences.’’ He firmly bit his lip, his eyes searching her face for any sort of hope. ‘’You’d be losing your ability to love.’’

.
.

He was going to die.

The thought was something he could accept, if only it had happened from old age, or to protect a loved one. Not from love.. Love healed, love saved, and now, love killed.
And it would kill him.

He didn’t want to lose the ability to love, it made him human. He didn’t want to become–

An image flashed through his mind, Voldemort towering over him in the graveyard, so many years in the future.

He didn’t want to become like him.

But he didn’t want to die.

He didn’t even notice he was struggling to breathe until a gentle hand was carding itself through his hair, sweet murmurs being mumbled into his ear.

‘’It will be okay.’’ She hushed, gently rocking him back and forth as he sobbed. He didn’t know when the tears began, but he couldn’t stop them anymore.

It wouldn’t be– it wouldn’t be okay, he couldn’t do this.

He didn’t even know who he was in love with, how was he supposed to confess? Who would be gullible enough to love him back?

‘’We’ll find them, I promise.’’ He wouldn’t, he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to be rejected, he didn’t want the pain.

‘’I’ll be there every step of the way.’’ He didn’t want her to be, he wanted to hide. He wanted to crawl back into the cupboard under the stairs, to silently cry as if he was eight years old again when he had just gotten scolded by Aunt Petunia.

‘’You’re such a kind boy, Harry. I bet they’ll accept you.’’ He sobbed louder, the inconsolable feeling in his chest building up.

It was so hard to breathe, he wanted to puke. He knew it wasn’t puke, but he didn’t want to see the flowers; he wouldn’t let himself.

It was clogging his throat, and luckily the school matron noticed it before he could say anything because as soon as she transfigured a bucket for him, he puked out more petals, the taste of blood mingling on his tongue with the petals.

He felt relieved and disgusted all at once, he could finally breathe. He calmed his breathing, but he didn’t dare to open his eyes.

The matron continued rubbing his back, he hiccuped, his throat sore from the petals and from crying. His eyes burned, he wanted to open them and wipe away his tears.

But he didn’t want to see them, he wanted to run from this reality.

He could feel the matron shift beside him, ‘’They’re truly beautiful, Harry.’’ Only now, he noticed, that she had dropped the professionalism. He leaned back into her warmth, clenching his eyes shut. ‘’Can you think of anyone who has spider lilies as their favorite flower?’’ The question made him open his eyes, tiredly wiping at them. He could barely look at them, but the question did make his brain stop panicking for just a moment.

Did he know anyone's favorite flowers?

‘’No.’’ His throat was hoarse, it burned. It burned so much.

The matron grabbed her wand and levitated a cup of water towards him. ‘’Take a sip, boy.’’ He did, nearly choking on the liquid. ‘’Slowly, slowly. Your throat is sore, there you go.’’ She murmured after he had taken a few successful sips.

She took the glass back from him, ‘’Do they remind you of anyone, then?’’

He took a deep breath and looked back at the flowers, albeit a bit bloody, they were beautiful. Beautifully red in color, dangerous. Red like–dangerous like–

He puked again, tears reappearing in his eyes.

He couldn’t do this—he didn’t want to.

It couldn’t be true.

He couldn’t.

It just.. couldn’t.

He didn’t know what to do with himself, but the matron sensed his predicament and only continued to rock him close to her chest, grabbing a tissue out of her pocket to wipe at his mouth.

‘’If you still aren’t sure, you should go ask some people close to you for their favorite flower. Hanahaki will realize this, and your flower will change.’’ He could do that. Yes, that would be easy. He’d just have to ask every single person he talked to on a somewhat regular basis what their favorite flower was, and probably make a laughing stock of him–God that included Tom–but it wouldn’t be Tom, so he didn’t even have to ask.

Something in his expression made her hesitate, and she asked, ‘’I’m guessing you won’t take the surgery, dear?’’

His head shot up, nearly bumping his glasses against her. ‘’No!’’ His volume clearly shocked her, and he lowered his voice apologetically. ‘’Sorry–I can’t. I really, can’t. I just.. can’t live like that.’’

She gently took his glasses off his face, he let her. He trusted her, he trusted her, even without his glasses.

She cleaned his glasses, looking over at him with an understanding and warm gaze. ‘’It’s quite alright. I understand.’’ She put his glasses back on, lovingly messing with his even messier hair. ‘’Please think about it okay? Let’s take a break for today, dear.’’

‘’Thank you, madam.’’ The loving look in her eyes made him feel like crying again, he didn’t know why he was so emotional today. Usually, he coped better with the thought of dying, he thought darkly.

‘’Feel free to call me Malinda.’’ She gently squeezed his shoulder before getting up from the bed. ‘’I’ll call you in sick for the rest of your classes.’’

‘’But–!’’ He couldn’t even finish his sentence, because the matron was already glaring at him with her hands on her hips. ‘’No buts! You deserve a break, you can go looking tomorrow.’’ Seeing that he still wasn’t convinced, she added, ‘’I’ll get a prefect to bring you their notes and I’ll arrange for the elves to serve you a cup of a healthy soup tonight in the dormitory.’’

He was feeling really overwhelmed by all the attention and supposed care she was putting into him, for someone she hadn’t even known longer than the short year since he had ‘’transferred’’ here. ‘’What about the headmaster? Professor Dippet wouldn’t–’’

‘’Oh, that old coot?’’ The distaste in her voice quickly disappeared, smiling apologetically at him. ‘’Don’t worry, if he has any problems with it he can talk to me.’’

He was quiet for a moment but nodded eventually. ‘’Thank you, Miss Malinda.’’

‘’Yes yes, now go on boy. Shoo, shoo.’’ She urged him from the bed, though her words weren’t as kind as they were earlier, it still felt caring.

Malinda didn’t want him in the nurse's office any longer, the bland decoration and lonely feeling would do the boy no good. He needed to be surrounded by people, or at least by things he knew.

Familiarity brings comfort.

Harry left with a pained smile on his face, waving goodbye to Malinda and assuring her once more that he would be alright. His legs felt shaky, and yet he walked onwards.

He didn’t know what to do with himself, he nearly felt sorry for himself. The dormitory was quiet, eerily so. The Slytherin common rooms had a different feeling, way colder than the Gryffindor common rooms. He missed it, he missed sitting in front of the fireplace with his friends and talking all night long.

Without the Slytherins, the common room was even quieter than usual. Everyone would still be in their classes for a few more hours, so he had nothing to do. He had already finished his homework, except for potions, but that didn’t really matter anyway.

It’s not that he was that bad at it, he just hated it. Maybe it was because of his old Professor, but he didn’t exactly get any motivation for it.

The bedroom was even quieter, Harry’s shoddily made bed (he was in a rush that morning) in the corner next to Tom Riddle’s bed, the future dark lord and the current school prefect. At first, he had found waking up next to Tom and even going to sleep in the same room as him absolutely frightening. But it wasn’t long before he realized that Tom played the perfect role model in front of most, and mostly kept to himself unless he was meddling with politics (or his not-so-secret gang).

Tom had been.. unexpected, and more present in his life than he would’ve expected or liked. Tom had long since realized the connection the two shared, and he had uncovered the truth about Harry’s past by using Legilimency on Harry while he was caught off guard. They hadn’t spoken much since, but Tom kept being a constant presence in his life, whether it was forcing himself to be Harry’s partner in class or his duel partner.

It honestly wasn’t as bad as Harry had expected, even after Tom forced himself into Harry’s mind. He kept himself at a respectful distance, and he was a good working partner even if he was exceedingly stubborn and mostly believed his ideas and ways of working were correct, which was extremely frustrating when it came to assignments.

He didn’t even notice how exhausted he had been, slowly slipping in and out of an unconscious state until he finally fell asleep.

His dreams were.. strange.

He knew he was dreaming, he could feel it. And yet, he couldn’t do anything at the same time. He was situated in a flower field, of red lilies to be exact, mixed with a foggy flower he couldn’t recognize.

His vision was fuzzy, but he could make out a figure in the distance. A tall person, their robes hanging on their shoulder, being guided by the wind.

A feeling in his chest pulled him towards this mystery person, desperation clawing through his lungs. He needed to get there, it screamed. And so, he ran.

He ran, he ran as far as his legs would take him. And yet he got nowhere, the figure faded out and left him alone. The desperation clawed at him, nearly beating out of his chest with vigor.

His lungs burned, his throat burned. The desperation was clawing his mind, his soul. He didn’t know why, but it felt like something within him was resisting. It was fighting against something, the flowers maybe?

Harry would’ve thought he’d flinch when he felt a sudden tap on his shoulders, but it calmed him out of his desperation. The figure was there, still as blurry close up as they were from a distance. He couldn’t make out any of their facial features, but he could see a smile through the blur.
The figure held out a hand, one of the disfigured flowers appearing in it.

‘’For me?’’ Harry’s voice was breathy, but he didn’t care.

The figure didn’t say anything and shrugged. So Harry took it.

He woke up startled, his scar itching madly. The door opened just as Harry was about to get up from the bed, and Harry nearly coughed up those wretched flowers stuck in his throat right then and there.

Tom entered the room, not at all surprised to see Harry sitting there. ‘’I heard you’ve been marked sick–’’ Before Harry had the chance to give a snarky remark to interrupt him, it felt like his legs moved all on their own to rush him to the bathroom, heading into one of the stalls and smashing it closed to finally cough up those flowers.

His breath got stuck in his throat, and he could hear uncertain footsteps following him into the bathroom.

‘’Harry?’’ He heard him call out, the concern laced in Tom’s voice made the tears in his eyes sting. He didn’t want this, he hated this. He didn’t want Tom to see him like this, he wanted to hide.

Harry didn’t respond, but when he heard Tom’s footsteps come closer he flushed the toilet just in time because he heard a soft click and the door opened behind him, Tom had probably cast a wandless Alohamora.

Harry sighed in relief and attempted to wipe his mouth with his sleeve, but Tom pulled his arm away from his face and looked at him with a scrutinizing expression. He pulled out a handkerchief, because apparently rich people had those, and dapped the saliva mixed with blood on his chin away.

‘’Stand up, come on.’’ Without even waiting for Harry to attempt to do so, he pulled Harry up to his feet and dragged him to his bed by his wrist. ‘’Lay down, I’m going to get you something.’’ He didn’t leave Harry any room for objections, walking right out the door.

To say Harry was confused would be an understatement. It wasn’t like Tom to be so caring, well, he wasn’t being that caring on the one hand, maybe it was just because he knew that Harry carried a piece of his soul?

Tom soon came back carrying a handful of potions in his arms and set them down one by one on Harry’s nightstand wordlessly before handing one with a blue liquid to Harry.

‘’Drink it.’’ Tom smiled at Harry’s expression, ‘’What? I didn’t poison them, it’s against nausea.’’ He explained, he pointed to the other vials and said, ‘’The light grey ones are stomach protectors since you were bleeding.’’

Harry speechlessly accepted the potion, ‘’Thank you.’’ Tom simply nodded and urged Harry to drink it. Harry unscrewed the cork and smelled it, surprised to smell honey instead of the usual nasty healing smell.

Tom looked quite proud of himself, ‘’I added a scent since I knew you’d be a big baby about it. It’s flavored too.’’ At moments like these, Harry truly wondered where Tom went wrong in life. The man could be nice, even if it was only to make sure Harry took care of Tom’s soul properly.

He was smart enough to create, and yet he used it for evil.

Harry drank the two potions, one after another, and was quite surprised to note that they both tasted exactly the same. He didn’t say anything because he didn’t want to grow his ego any bigger than it already was, but he was quite impressed. Even if he knew that Tom had probably already seen that based on that prideful glint in his eyes.

Tom took his pocket watch out of his robes before turning his attention back to Harry, ‘’You have two hours before the others come, I’ll entertain them until then. Focus on getting rid of this silly cold, I want you back in class tomorrow. You are a wizard, for Merlin’s sake..’’

‘’Yeah yeah, just leave.’’ Tom gave him a sharp, indescribable look before walking out the door.

Tom was offering his free time for Harry’s sake, which meant that Harry now technically owed a debt to Tom. It was just going to become something for Tom to hold over Harry’s head whenever he said or did something that even remotely went against Tom’s ideals.

But alas, what is done is done. At least Tom had gotten him some potions, not that they would work. It was the thought that counted, he thought with a smile on his face.

Tom had left two more potions of each version, probably one before he went to bed and one more before he went to class in the morning. He’d better drink it later to keep letting Tom mind his own business.

Harry hid the potions in his trunk just in case anyone saw them standing on his nightstand. He didn’t need the entire castle to know that he had a silly little cold, that just happened to be a little deadly.

He sighed and laid back down, only to realize to his dismay that he forgot to ask what Tom’s favorite flower was, not that it would be Tom anyway.

Harry spent his time reading some books he had been itching to read since he was going to die anyway. What a morbid thought it was, but it was better to keep it real with himself, even though he was absolutely terrified. But if he didn’t think about it, it wasn’t going to happen.

He just had to keep repeating that to himself.

Around dinner time, the elves had come to bring him a plate of chicken soup, plenty of bread, and a few cups of tea with heating spells on them, courtesy of Malinda, they had said.
After that, he went back to the bathroom, freshened up and drank his last tea before heading to bed, luckily not having any more accidental flowers show up along the way. Sleep came easy to him this time.

Tom wouldn’t call himself a man with many emotions. Sure, he felt them, but he didn’t feel them in the same caliber as most of his classmates or other adults did.

He had his own things to worry about, a future ahead of him. To capture the wizarding world by using his followers, who were already many steps into the world, and yet didn’t take their opportunities, because they needed a powerful leader with a good head on his shoulders.

And that would be Tom, and it is Tom.
But Tom had been feeling a shift in his perspectives ever since the transfer student joined them, a shift in his focus too. The boy was from the future, and he came back just to stop Tom, but it didn’t end there, no. The boy was powerful, not quite Tom’s level, but he was more so his equal than any other. He spoke Parseltongue, and he was his horcrux. His personal living soul, albeit his soul from the future.

Simply put, Harry Potter was his and would always belong to him in every way, and in every time perk.

Harry is an interesting character because he has quite a mouth on him. He talks back to Tom, he talks back to professors who he doesn’t agree with, he stands up for other students and he is about as booksmart as a rock. All that said, he would be a perfect Gryffindor, and yet he was put in Slytherin. Maybe it had something to do with the dumb hat knowing that Harry is from the future, their so-called ‘’savior.’’

And yet he grew on Tom in some way, he was handy to have around. That way, Tom would know what steps to take and what steps were out of the question, like creating too many horcruxes for example. Three would be a good number, and he wouldn’t look hideous nor go insane. Just the perfect amount to become completely immune to his emotions.

Tom didn’t get sick, and Harry held part of Tom’s soul. Therefore, Harry wasn’t allowed to get sick. What if Harry died of a silly muggle cold? Tom couldn’t allow it, so he extended a helping hand all on his own.

He distracted the Slytherins by throwing a surprise meeting, grilling each of the students on their latest research findings.

All to distract himself, and buy Harry some extra nap time. That should give the Slytherin-wannabe some time to recover.

‘’My lord?’’ Tom hummed, barely paying attention to what Lestrange was trying to tell him. ‘’Have you heard from Potter?’’

He had, but it was always good to get to know more. As long as he didn’t seem too interested, he didn’t want to allude his followers into believing he cared about the boy. ‘’Depends.’’ Lestrange was as eager as ever to flap his mouth, and with the barely counted approval, he did so. ‘’I heard from Rosier that Potter was seen exiting the matron’s office after running out in class earlier.’’ Well, Tom already knew that much. It was a poor choice for Harry to let his weakness show to the other students, but he would scold him about it later.

‘’He overheard something through the door too, something about Hana…–it was some sort of illness. I forgot the name.’’ Tom’s frustration grew, another useless follower of his who couldn’t even spread his so-called gossip properly.

Tom nodded dismissively, glaring at Rosier who was chatting with Malfoy. ‘’Rosier, could you come here for a moment?’’

The tone of his voice got most of the Slytherin's attention, the conversations slowly dying out as they watched Rosier walk up to their lord. ‘’Yes, my lord?’’

‘’I’ve heard you’ve been withholding information?’’

‘’N-No! I haven’t, not at all–!’’ Tom pointed his wand at Rosier's throat, glaring at him. ‘’You’ve been withholding information of one of our very own. Tell me, what did you overhear in the matron's office?’’ Rosier swallowed, his adams apple bobbing against Tom’s wand. ‘’I.. I overheard them talking about some illness, a muggle one probably, seeing as the boy is an obvious half-blood!’’ Tom let the growing irritation on his face show.

From the back of the room, he saw Malfoy stand up and hold his hand up. Tom nodded toward Malfoy, giving him the permission to speak. ‘’Excuse me for asking, my lord. But why are we so concerned about this half-blood?’’ Another spike of irritation flowed through him, it wasn’t like he could tell his lower-than-average followers why the Potter boy was so valued.

That was for Tom alone, his soul.

‘’I thought you were smarter than that, Malfoy.’’ Tom normally called his followers by their first names unless he was mad at them, and it showed.

It showed power.

Malfoy flinched, his gaze turning questioning. ‘’Can’t anyone in here think on their own?’’ Tom spat, glaring at each of his followers. He stood up, keeping his wand on Rosier’s neck. ‘’Potter is a half-blood, carrying a muggle disease. Should we not be concerned with what it will do to us? Or would you rather get infected with a disgusting muggle disease?’’

Tom’s heady glare made his other followers look judgementally at Malfoy, for questioning their Lord's intentions.
‘’I’m so sorry, my lord–’’ Tom held up his hand, immediately silencing him. He turned his attention back on Rosier, twisting his wand in his hand, watching with utter satisfaction at the uncomfortable look on Rosier’s face.

‘’What illness was it, Rosier?’’

‘’It was something with Hanna– I really don’t remember.’’ His panic rose when he saw Tom’s expression shift, that murderous look meant only one thing.. ‘’I’m really sorry–I didn’t hear it properly, please–’’

‘’Crucio.’’ Rosier's screams were heard a second later, a loud thud sounding through the room as he fell to the ground.

Adrenaline coursed through Tom, satisfaction settling into his bones. He loved casting dark spells, he loved the feeling of the magic swirling around him.

He enjoyed it when his followers messed up, he loved punishing them.
What he didn’t love was when they messed up so much that his entire plans were ruined. He would have to punish Rosier more later.

Tom ended up letting Rosier stay under the Cruciatus curse for an entire minute, watching with contempt, looking around his followers to see if anyone wished to object, and get much of the same treatment.

After a minute had passed, Tom ended the curse. Drool was coming out of Rosier’s mouth, his eyes dilated and tear-stricken.

‘’This is what happens when you don’t perform your duties as a Slytherin. Do not disappoint me again.’’

He turned to the rest of the room, putting his wand back into its holder. ‘’That goes for all of you. If any of you get infected with Potter’s muggle disease, we have Rosier here to thank for it because he couldn’t do something as simple as remembering a name.’’ The whispered murmurs and hating glares sent towards Rosier did Tom well, finally some justice.

‘’I don’t want to see any of you speak with him for a month, let him feel what he has done by betraying the Knights. The future of our generation, the future of the wizarding world.’’

Tom smiled, letting the cruel smile fall off his face and smiling charmingly once more. ‘’Thank you for your time, please look at what we discussed today and use this to better yourselves. Dismissed.’’

He watched the crowd leave, picking out Black amongst the crowd. ‘’Orion, could you come here for a moment?’’ The fear swindling in Black’s eyes didn’t go unnoticed, but he walked up to Tom anyway, ignoring Rosier who was still practically lying on the ground.

‘’Yes, my lord?’’

‘’You’re friends with Potter, yes?’’

‘’I would say so, yeah.’’

‘’Then I have a task for you.’’ He motioned for Orion to come closer. Even though Rosier would still be out of it for a fair bit, he enjoyed the power of whispering something for just that person to hear. It made someone feel special, and Tom believed that it would make someone more eager to fulfill their duties.

‘’I want you to get Potter to trust you, and fill you in on the details of his illness.’’ Black’s eyes widened, mumbling back ‘’I don’t mean to go against you, my lord–’’ One of the sentences Tom hated hearing the most, ‘’--but what if I get infected?’’ Tom smiled, glad to see it was just an idiotic worry. ‘’Are you doubting my ability to heal you?’’

He didn’t like Black’s gaze, the defiance lying dormant underneath it. Tom had the urge to pull it out of him, and to Crucio him for attempting to even glare back at him. ‘’Then why don’t you heal Potter, my lord?’’

‘’How do you expect me to heal someone when I don’t know what they are suffering from, idiotic boy?’’ Black faltered under his gaze and nodded, mumbling an apology under his lips.

‘’You are dismissed, Black. I await good news.’’ The use of Orion’s last name didn’t go unnoticed.

Tom had a feeling that Harry’s cold wouldn’t be over with just a few simple potions.

Chapter Text

The next day, as expected, Harry didn’t get better. But he was managing, the potions helped calm his stomach a little, and he didn’t know if the other potion was actually doing something for him but he took it anyway just to appease Tom’s feigned worries.

He still felt a bit sick, but he had a plan for today. He needed to get to class, and he needed to ask every single person he knew what their favorite flower was. Which was, no problem at all and totally not a weird thing to do.

Well, if he didn’t end up finding out who the person was, he would die remembered as some flower freak. Not that he thought anyone would seriously love him after just a year, not to mention how Harry could love anyone here after just a year?

Maybe it didn’t even have to be from this time perk, maybe he was still in love with Ginny? But was that ever love or just liking her?

Would his like for Ginny run as deep as to be called love? As to come back a year later, to nearly kill him in the process?

That didn’t sound logical at all, but then what was logic? What did sound logical? Nothing, absolutely nothing.

Harry was going crazy, absolutely crazy. He couldn’t love any of these crazy people, and yet apparently he did.

He looked over at his nightstand and grabbed his glasses, rubbing at his eyes. His eyes adjusted, and he glanced over at the nightstand again in confusion. His potions homework lay there, while it had been in his drawer previously. On top was a yellow sticky note with fancy handwriting.

Harry sighed, almost wanting to crawl back inside of his bed at the sight alone. He grabbed it against his better judgment, seeing that it was his potions homework. The note was in perfect cursive, and read; I had Orion falsify that horrid handwriting of yours, be grateful.

Harry sighed, getting himself ready for class regardless of how he felt. He needed to stop pitying himself, he was the chosen one. Right, was.

‘’Harry, there you are!’’ Orion’s warm hand on Harry’s shoulder made him flinch. He looked around the common rooms to see if anyone noticed, but everyone seemed focused on their own. His eyes immediately found Tom, only to see him staring at Harry before moving his gaze back to his book.

‘’Hey there, Orion. How’ve you been?’’

Orion smiled, ‘’Pretty well, I’ve just been busy with studying and all. Can’t all be as smart as you and Tom.’’ Harry smiled back uncomfortably, Harry was quite average academically, he just had the advantage that he was from the future and thus already knew some of the things they were just now introducing into the lessons.

‘’You’ll do just fine, you’re smart. You helped me with my potions homework, right?’’ Orion blinked, ‘’Huh, so that’s who it was for. Should’ve known.’’ He said sheepishly.

‘’What do you mean?’’

‘’Tom told me to write like a half-blooded fool, so I should’ve known.’’ Harry scoffed at Orion’s smile, lightly elbowing him. ‘’My handwriting is not that bad, and I’m no fool either!’’

Harry blinked, suddenly realizing something. ‘’Wait, did you copy your homework then?’’ Orion chuckled, but he didn’t get a chance to answer before Tom walked over to them, smiling at the both of them. ‘’Good morning, Harry, Orion.’’

‘’Good morning, Tom!’’ Orion straightened his back, a polite smile on his face. It was kind of funny to see how much more pureblooded Orion would act around Tom, or anyone who wasn’t Harry basically. Mostly Tom though, it made Harry feel a bit special.
Orion may not realize it, but his relation with Sirius made Harry see him a bit as family, as silly as it was. He counted on Orion, he trusted him.

Tom looked at Harry expectantly, and begrudgingly Harry mumbled a ‘’Good morning.’’ back. Being polite was the least he could do after what Tom had done for him.

Tom looked at Harry with an expectant look on his face, but Harry looked straight back at him. Tom sighed, feigning disappointment. ‘’I should’ve known someone with your manners wouldn’t thank me for my selfless acts.’’

‘’Which one? Oh so gratefully interrupting my quiet time and demanding I get better quickly, or basically force-feeding me potions?’’ Tom’s glare was satisfying, but not as satisfying as the look of shock on Orion’s face, and the knowledge that most of the Slytherins had started listening in on their conversation.

Tom was regretting his selfless acts more and more, maybe he should just let him fail. As long as Harry didn’t die, he didn’t actually care for the rest.

Harry needed to realize how much worse he’d be off without Tom, that if Tom weren’t protecting him by even talking to him, the rest of the Slytherin would toy with him. They’d break him, the poor little Gryffindor.

‘’The act of selflessly helping you with your potions homework.’’ Harry’s braveness bit back at the venom in Tom’s voice, the friendly smile on Tom’s voice making his words cut deeper. ‘’Whose answers do you think Orion here used? Not his own, I imagine.’’ He was focusing fully on Harry, only giving a short glance at Orion at the mention of his name.

‘’I would hate to see one of my Slytherins fail, you should feel lucky that your lord is so merciful. Run along now, Potter. Wouldn’t want your sickness to spread to the rest of us, assuming you haven’t recovered from that muggle cold.’’

It wasn’t a cold. Tom knew that, Harry knew that. But Harry nodded anyway, he nodded because there was nothing else he could say. He was in a room filled with Slytherins; hungry and bloodthirsty. Out for gossip, blackmail.

If he were to speak back to Tom now, he’d be tormented until Tom decided it was enough.

Still, he couldn’t help the tone of his words. ‘’Why, thank you! I shall be leaving so that you won’t be infected with my muggle disease.’’ He pulled Orion along by his wrist before he even realized what he was doing, and Orion followed.

Unbeknownst to Harry, Orion looked back at Tom for permission. Tom didn’t object, so Orion followed Harry out of the common room and down the stairs.

Harry realized he was still holding onto Orion’s wrist and quickly let go, feeling embarrassed he quickly apologized. ‘’I’m sorry for dragging you along like that, it’s just.. he pisses me off so much!’’ Seeing Orion’s expression, he quickly added, ‘’I know you’re friends with Riddle, I’m sorry if I brought you any trouble.’’ Friend for the lack of a better word, because they both knew that Orion was nothing of the sort to Tom.

But then again, was anyone?
Sometimes, Harry thought he was.

The guilt was slowly gnawing at Orion, but he had a job to do. Harry was too kind to be in Slytherin, even if he had many of their qualities. ‘’It’s quite alright, don’t worry about it. You’re my friend just as much as he is.’’ Harry’s genuine smile only made his silent betrayal hurt more. ‘’What illness do you even have?’’ Harry’s whole expression changed, more hesitant and guarded. ‘’Just a cold is all.’’ Harry made it sound so believable, but Orion knew it wasn’t true. Rosier wouldn’t lie about that.

‘’I hope you get better soon. Oh, and don’t mind Tom, alright? He doesn’t mean it like that.’’ They both knew he did, but Harry nodded anyway.

Orion wasn’t looking forward to the next meeting, because he knew he was going to be Tom’s next test subject for any new spells he learned or a Crucio if Tom was feeling merciful.

Harry looked a bit puzzled all of a sudden, hesitantly speaking up as they finally started walking to their upcoming class. ‘’Hey, Orion?’’ Orion hummed, smiling and waving at the passing students in the hallway.

‘’Not to be weird or anything, but what’s your favorite flower?’’ Orion frowned, ‘’I’m not sure, I’ve never really thought about it. How come?’’

Harry’s eyes widened, he hadn’t actually thought that far yet aside from thinking about how embarrassing asking was going to be. ‘’Uhm..’’ Why, why why.. ah right, Orion wasn’t taking Herbology this year! ‘’It’s for my Herbology project, we got free reign, so I’m.. finding out people’s favorite flowers and their meanings.’’

‘’That’s an.. interesting choice?’’ Harry smiled apologetically at Orion, realizing how silly it sounded. Still, he appreciated that Orion took some time to think it over. ‘’Well, there’s a pretty flower my mother has the elves grow in the garden. I think it’s.. I’m not quite sure, but it’s a big flower.’’ Harry bit his lip, not finding the information very useful.

Orion grinned, finally remembering the name of the flower. ‘’It’s a chrysanthemum! The white ones, I think they’re lovely.’’ Harry smiled at him, ‘’Oh, I know those! My aunt had them in her garden for quite a while.’’ He had read about the meaning of flowers for his Herbology project with Neville back in their first year, and he actually remembered the meaning of white chrysanthemums. If he remembered correctly it had something to do with love and loyalty, utter devotion. He could see that in Orion, and he knew where Sirius got it from.

He’d make sure to make a list later, with all of the people he regularly interacted with and their favorite flowers.

Going back to class while having to suppress the constant need to cough was hard, but he managed pretty well. The nausea was settling, and his body getting used to the aches. He could deal with that.

His stamina was lower than it used to be, slowly declining over the last few months. But he could still duel, and he wasn’t having many problems so far. He was still the second-best of his class, no one came close to him and Tom. Harry had enough dueling experience thanks to the class’ number one future counterpart, and Tom was just.. Tom.

That came with a disadvantage because usually, the teachers would make Harry and Tom duel so that they could stay on their own level and actually have a challenge. Luckily the teacher seemed to take pity on Harry, since he was technically still able to call in sick if he wanted to, now with the permission of the matron.

This pissed Tom off, because now he had to go back to Malfoy being his dueling partner, which was less than pleasant. It was a useful moment to teach his knights what power meant and to show them who was their lord, sure, but it was boring.

The look of fear in Malfoy’s eyes did the look of contempt in Potter’s eyes no justice. The utter concentration, the Gryffindor bravery mixed with that hint of Slytherin in him battling against themselves while he battled Tom.

He enjoyed every second of it.

Dueling Malfoy was in no way stimulating, not even seeing him defeated on his knees. The small sliver of satisfaction had already left after their third year.

Pure-blooded or not, some people are useless.
Tom knows what the wizarding world needs, a good leader to convert these people into useful tools. For the greater folk to rise above the rest.

With a little refinement, even Potter could become a part of the greater folk. He already was, if not for being mediocre at every subject except for defense, not even to mention his potions. And his stance on anything political is utterly brainwashed.

Brainwashed by Dumbledore, Dumbledore’s little puppet. Not understanding that the moment Voldemort made Harry into his horcrux, Harry’s soul belonged to Tom.
Not Dumbledore.

And it never would, because Harry hadn’t ever even attempted to make a serious act against Tom’s life. This meant that Tom still had the opportunity to bend Harry to his will, to keep someone of his stature safe; his soul safe.

Harry was weak, and it was up to Tom to guide him. It was up to Tom to heal him from this muggle sickness, because Harry was too weak to do so. It’s up to Tom to guide him into becoming a better wizard, if only to keep him from dying and keeping his use. The knowledge of the future is priceless, and worth the effort it would take to keep that brainless Gryffindor alive.

If only that brainless Gryffindor had even an ounce of value for his own life, it would save Tom a lot of trouble.

Harry headed straight for the matron’s office when class ended, aware that Tom was following behind him at a leisurely pace. Whenever Harry looked back, Tom just smiled at him and didn’t say anything.

Not only was it infuriating, but it was also a little creepy. He could feel Tom’s stare at the back of his head, scrutinizing his every movement.

Just as they were about to round the corner to the nurse’s office, Tom took a left instead of following Harry down the corridor. Harry paused and looked behind him, but Tom was walking straight ahead.

‘’Where are you going?’’ The words left his mouth before he even realized what he was asking. Why he was even asking, was the bigger mystery.

Tom turned around a confused expression on his face. ‘’Why do you ask?’’ A pang of guilt shot through Harry for assuming that Tom was following him, ‘’Did you truly think that I have nothing better to do than to waste my time following you?’’ The amused glint hidden in his eyes contrasted the confused look on his face, that snake knew damn well what he was doing.

Harry glared at him, but he couldn’t say anything. Technically speaking, he had no evidence that Tom had been following him. He looked behind Tom to see where he was headed and raised an eyebrow. Ignoring what Tom said, he asked, ‘’Those are the teacher's headquarters, what business do you have there?’’

Tom smiled, finally dropping the act. ‘’I could ask you the very same, that hallway leads to the matron’s office. What business do you have there?’’

‘’Nothing that concerns you.’’ He crossed his arms defiantly, and to his shock, Tom took the very same stance and smirked at him. ‘’Well then, I am doing nothing that concerns you either.’’

They stared at each other for a moment, both of them waiting for the other to make the first move.

‘’...’’

‘’...’’

Finally, Harry’s curiosity got the better of him. ‘’I haven’t been feeling too well, that’s all.’’ It would be better to give Tom an answer, even if it wouldn’t fully satisfy the man. Harry needed to know what business Tom had in the teacher's area, or if he was planning something again.

Tom frowned, ‘’Still? The potions haven’t helped?’’ Harry felt smug and a bit guilty at the same time. Smug that even the so-called genius couldn’t cure him, and sad that he couldn’t.

Still, he felt the need to.. ‘’The potions helped with nausea, but I’ve still been.. just, sick.’ Harry suddenly stilled as he felt a gentle probe in his mind. If Harry hadn’t spent so much time practicing Occlumency with Professor Snape, he would’ve never noticed the subtle touch of Legilimency.

It was Tom’s perfect chance. Harry was just thinking about going to the matron’s office, which meant that the illness itself, or at least its symptoms would be at the front of his mind.

Tom blinked, he only had access for a few seconds at most, and he hadn’t been able to reach nearly as deep as he needed to, but he had seen enough to realize that it didn’t seem like much of a muggle illness at all. Flowers.. he racked his brain, but he couldn’t think of any wizarding illnesses that had to do with flowers, nor did he know much about those at all.

He’d have to start researching them as soon as possible.

‘’What did you do that for!? Are you that nosy to know it’s just a simple cold!?’’ Again with the anger, Tom thought. Yet, he smiled at Harry. ‘’I’m not quite sure what you mean, Harry. Maybe you really do need to get yourself checked out.’’

‘’You used Legilimency, you ass!’’

Tom sighed, ‘’Are you going to continue making more factless accusations or should I take my leave before I tell you why I’m heading towards the teacher’s headquarters?’’

Harry glared at him, ‘’Fine, why are you going to the teachers’ headquarters?’’ Tom smiled smugly, ‘’To converse with Slughorn, of course. I had something to discuss.’’

‘’Had?’’

‘’Ah, do forgive my wording, I meant have. I have but a simple question for him, and then I will head towards the library. How gracious of me, I even included more details. Something you should consider, for next time.’’

‘’Stop acting so high and mighty, it doesn’t suit you.’’

‘’Neither does being late, so I must be going. Good luck with your.. cold.’’ Tom didn’t really feel like staying around much longer, so he simply didn’t. He turned around and walked towards Slughorn’s private quarters, hearing Harry mumble some sort of insult behind his back.

He didn’t care about his blatant disrespect right now, he was focused on the flowers he saw.
Puking up flowers wasn’t something he had ever heard of, but that did explain the blood. If anything, Slughorn should have some insight on the situation, and if not he could head towards the Herbology teacher before going for the library.

Asking the matron would also be an option, but it would probably get back to Harry if he were to inquire about Harry’s illness, which was a problem in itself. In theory, Tom understood why Harry was hiding his illness. In practice, he didn’t get it at all.

Tom and Harry shared a soul, Tom’s soul. Tom wasn’t the most reliable person around, but as someone with a.. difficult past, he always took care of what was his.
His most treasured trophies included things he stole as a kid, but now that he was older, it included his research notes, his diary and the Gaunt ring which had been turned into a horcrux, and now Harry Potter belonged to that list.

Tom won’t damage his soul, no matter how grave the situation may look.
So he did get why Harry hid it, but not from him, no.

The walk to Slughorn’s private quarters was shorter than expected, and he felt no guilt about knocking after class hours. According to Slughorn’s usual schedule, the man had just returned from teaching his classes, and would now be reading a gossip magazine with a glass of wine.

Tom knocked on the door, Slughorn’s cheery voice sounding from the other side of the door. ‘’Come in!’’ Tom was quick to open the door, spotting Slughorn on his loveseat almost instantly. As expected, he was reading his favorite gossip magazine with a glass of wine.

‘’Tom, my boy!’’ Slughorn smiled and put his magazine down, letting out a sigh as he stood up. ‘’What can I do for you?’’ Tom smiled. Slughorn was always so eager to help. ‘’I’ve come to you asking for help.’’

‘’Help?’’ Slughorn frowned, ‘’What for, dear boy? Can I do anything to help you?’’

‘’You see, a friend of mine, he’s in.. quite a situation. A disease I fear, but we’re not quite sure what it is.’’

‘’Well, he’d best be heading off to the matron then, should I call in for him?’’ Slughorn was playing with the rim of his wine glass, worriedly glancing at Tom.

Tom shook his head, downplaying the glee he felt at having Slughorn at his disposal. So eager to serve.

‘’I’m afraid he doesn’t want anyone to know about it, sir. I only came to you because I trust you.’’ Tom took a step forward, standing directly across from Slughorn now. ‘’You’ll help, won’t you?’’

Slughorn contemplated for a moment, ‘’Well, I’m not quite sure I’m qualif–’’ Tom put his hand on Slughorn’s, glancing innocently at the man. ‘’Please? You’re the only one I can ask.’’ Slughorn sighed, ‘’Well then, I guess I’ve got no choice but to help!’’

Tom smiled, his shoulders sagging with relief. ‘’Thank you, sir.’’

Explaining an illness you barely even saw a glimpse of was a challenge, so much so that even Slughorn didn’t seem to realize what he was talking about.

‘’I’m afraid I’ve never heard of anything like it.’’ Disappointment flashed through him, a dwindling anger resurfacing. Orion better bring good news.

Tom sighed, letting the disappointment show on his face. ‘’I would’ve expected you to know, Professor. You’re so knowledgeable after all.’’ At Slughorn’s guilty expression, he had to suppress a smile. ‘’I understand, we can’t all be good at everything.’’
Slughorn looked defeated, ‘’Can I at least do anything to help?’’

Tom frowned, ‘’I’m not quite sure.. you’ve done your very best to help already.’’ Though his voice was sullen, a hint of malice slipped in between the words, dripping into the tension between them.

‘’You know you can count on me, right boy?’’ Boy, how he hated that word. He wanted to burn it, strangle it. He was not just a boy.

‘’Of course sir, but I wouldn’t want to use your kindness–’’

‘’Nonsense! Come on, think of something with that brilliant mind of yours!’’ Slughorn put his hand on Tom’s shoulder, squeezing encouragingly.

Vile, utterly vile.

Tom smiled nonetheless, ‘’Would you be willing to give me an access slip for the restricted section in that case?’’ At Slughorn’s hesitant expression, he added, ‘‘I fear that I would sooner find my answers with all the knowledge available if even one of the smartest Professors can’t help me.’’

‘’Of course, of course. You’re a prefect, after all, no harm in letting you in there.’’ He finally took his hand off Tom’s shoulder and grabbed a permission slip from a drawer, signing it with a neat signature.

‘’There you go. It lasts about a week.’’ Tom gracefully accepted the slip, giving it a once over. ‘’Thank you very much, Professor. Your kind deeds won’t go unnoticed.’’

‘’Of course, anything for one of my favorite Slytherins! Do wish that friend of yours my best wishes.’’

‘’He sends his thanks in advance. I shall see you in class, Professor.’’

Tom turned around to leave, only making it to the door before Slughorn called out to him again. ‘’Tom?’’

‘’Yes, sir?’’

The same hesitant expression lay on his face, ‘’It would do well not to go researching the dark arts again–’’ At Tom’s expression, he quickly changed his tone, ‘’--not to say that I don’t trust you, it’s just.. unwise.’’

‘’Thank you, Professor, I shall keep that in mind. It was just for a project after all.’’ Tom said, absentmindedly toying with the Gaunt ring on his finger.

‘’Right, of course.’’

He left without saying another goodbye and headed straight for the library. He wasn’t in a good mood, but he decided to go to the library first before meeting with Black. He needed to make good use of his pass while it lasted and check out as many books on flowers and diseases in general as he could.

In the end, he checked out a stack of books, and if the stack included a book about the dark arts, the librarian was none the wiser.

He had already contacted Malfoy and ordered him to find Black for him and to request that they meet in their meeting room.

He dropped the books off in the dorms, hoping for better news from Black. He had an inkling that it would be bad news because Black was the type to come running towards Tom whenever he had the good news and shy away when it was bad.

Which was why Tom had started his research early. He knew he couldn’t trust any of those fools.

Harry was tired of feeling so sluggish. He didn’t feel sick, he felt tired. His throat was sore.The throat candy Malinda had gotten him had helped, but it wasn’t a lasting solution.

The matron was doing everything she could, yet a small part of him yearned to tell Tom. To
have Tom take care of him like he did the night before. He didn’t want to bother Malinda anymore than he already had, and Slughorn was.. out of the question.

That only left Tom, Tom was the only one he could trust to make good potions. But he didn’t want Tom’s attention on him. It had been going so well, all according to the (revised) plan until Harry had gotten this stupid illness.

Harry weaved a hand through his hair, sighing. He was clinging to his life, he didn’t want to go yet.

He grabbed the list he had just written down and gave it another once-over. So far, he had most of the girls in Slytherin written down with a few guys sprinkled in the list.

He didn’t know when the change would take effect, but the flowers had remained the same so far. He still had a few people left to go before he could judge on that.

The dorm door slammed open as Tom stormed inside the room and headed straight towards his bed, not even greeting the others. He had expected to be disappointed, but Black’s utter relaxed stance on the situation made his blood boil even more.

Black wouldn’t be walking around with such ignorance for a good while luckily, not walking at all for a few hours if fate was in Tom’s favor.

Harry watched as Tom opened his trunk, spotting a handful of books stuffed inside. Tom grabbed his wand and cast a nonverbal spell before grabbing the top book and laying down on his bed, immediately diving into the pages with a focused yet irritated expression on his face.

Harry tried to read the book cover, but the text was hazy and the picture on the book had been morphed.

It must’ve been an illusion spell, Harry thought to himself. He looked around the room, but since there were so many of their dormmates inside, he couldn’t exactly call Tom out for reading about the Dark Arts in the dormitory.

Harry was quite annoyed because he hadn’t seen Tom as focused on the Dark Arts as of late, but this meant he was just getting back on track.

Still, Harry also felt a tingling sensation of relief. At least most of Tom’s focus wouldn’t be on him anymore.

Normally, Tom would be calm while reading a book about the Dark Arts, letting everyone assume he was just reading some novel. But today, he looked frustrated, angry even. And with each page turned, he looked even more annoyed.

‘’Did Professor Slughorn not give you a satisfying answer?’’ Immediately, Harry regretted the words leaving his mouth. He didn’t want to catch any more attention, but now Tom’s eyes were snapped towards him, entirely hateful.

‘’It would do you well to mind your business, Harry.’’ He said, not even looking at the pages of his book while he turned to the next page. Tom was seriously considering hexing someone, and if Harry kept looking at him like that, he might be the next one on his list.

‘’It is if you’re reading what I think you’re reading.’’ Tom’s glare softened, looking between his book and Harry. ‘’And, what do you think I’m reading?’’

Harry frowned, glancing at the other students in the room. He couldn’t tell if any of them were paying attention, but it still felt wrong to talk about things like that with them around. ‘’Go on, don’t be shy.’’

That mocking tone in Tom’s voice irritated him, ‘’The Dark Arts.’’ As if the others could feel the tension shift, they started looking over at them.

‘’Wronggg.’’ Tom’s sick smile made Harry felt weird. If he wasn’t reading about the Dark Arts.. ‘’Why hide the cover then?’’

Tom tsked, ‘’Because, Harry dear, some people would like their privacy.’’ Tom smirked, ‘’Not that a Slytherin wannabe would understand.’’ He said, switching to Parseltongue.

‘’Fuck you.’’ He hissed back, his mood souring. He grabbed his Charms homework and pretended to start working on it to escape the conversation.

Tom, on the other hand, was starting to feel better, Harry somehow managed to boost his mood. Even if that brought him back to square one, he could focus properly now without that looming dread hanging over his head.

He had basically skimmed the entire first book about flowers, not finding it remotely interesting. He did stop on the page of the lilies, finding that the spider lily looked eerily similar to the small glimpse he caught of the flowers that Harry had caught up. If only he had a Pensieve, he could review the memory.

Though the second book had been more interesting as it was about Wizard illnesses, he found nothing useful. He even went as far as to check the other sections and not only the flower-related illnesses, he found absolutely nothing that even resembled the illness.

He did find a few cures and possible ingredients for potion experiments which he would be noting down in his journal for later, which could be useful in the future.

His eyes were starting to slip back to Harry, who was intensely staring ahead without a single thought in his head. Utterly clueless.

He wanted to go further, reach into his mind for the answers. He knew Harry would never let him, and he had gotten better at Occlumency since he had arrived here. His next option would be to cast a diagnostic spell on Harry if the illness would last.

He didn’t know why he was so stuck on the idea that he needed to do something. Maybe Harry had just gotten the bad end of a hex, but as much as he searched his mind for any curses like that, he couldn’t find it.

Still, he grabbed his list and wrote down his possible theories, including a note to get a book on curses and hexes again.

Even after the lights went out and everyone had gone to bed, Tom kept reading. His curtains were already closed, a small light illuminating the small space between the curtains so he could see the pages in his book.

His eyes burned, but he kept reading. Searching.

He could feel his eyes starting to close, finding it harder to keep them open with every minute. He put the book under his bed and closed his eyes, sighing.

He needed to get at least a few hours of sleep, lest he look improper tomorrow.

From outside of his curtain, he heard a muffled cough. Tom shifted in his bed, tugging his blanket higher over his body in an attempt to fall asleep.

Again, he heard a cough. The person’s throat sounded rough and hoarse.

‘’Fuck..’’ He heard a hiss, which he now realized was Harry. He heard blankets shuffle, a loud sigh, and footsteps that were coming closer, heading to the bathroom, Tom realized.

He must be washing up.

Tom sighed and reached for his wand, wandlessly opening his curtains. He didn’t even attempt to make his bed, putting on some slippers and heading straight towards the prefect bathrooms instead of the bathroom Harry was in.

Tom opened the cabinets one by one to look for the right supplies, grabbing a handful of ingredients. He put them neatly on the table, blinking the sleep out of his eyes as he grabbed his mini potion set up.

Very handy to have in case of emergency.

Well, he had better get started if he wanted to get at least some sleep.

Tom finished making the potion, and it only had to stay a few hours on low heat for it to complete. He had made a big batch, so most of his (stolen) ingredients were all used up. He’d have to get some new ingredients slowly but surely.

When he returned to the dormitory, he was already starting to feel lightheaded, but he set an alarm earlier than he usually woke up anyway. He needed to collect the potion, put it on Harry’s nightstand, go shower, and fix his mess of a face before anyone saw him look like.. whatever mess he looked like right now.

Right, he could do that.

Harry’s curtains were already closed, so he reluctantly crept back in his own. Falling asleep almost immediately after he closed the curtains.

Harry woke up the next morning feeling just as sluggish as he did when he went to bed the night before. He contemplated laying in bed for a bit longer, but he really didn’t want to disappoint Professor Dumbledore.

He was different than the Dumbledore from the future, but.. he didn’t exactly know how he felt about him. He really did treat Slytherins differently.

He opened his curtains with a sigh, deciding that it was better to get up than to keep wasting his life away, or what was left of his life anyway, if he couldn’t find that person.

Last night..

An image of a bloodied spider lily flashed through his head. He grabbed his glasses, cleaning them with the hem of his t-shirt.
His flower hadn’t changed yet, which meant that he hadn’t asked the person in question yet. Which asked the question, was he also into blokes?

It’s not that he minded being into blokes, but it was different than he was used to. He didn’t recall ever having a crush on a guy before, and the only people he had ever really liked were Cho and Ginny..

Still, he had a few more people left on his list, so he’d have to focus on that again for today.

He blinked, his eyes having to get used to the sudden increase in quality. He looked over at his nightstand, and this time, there was a light pink potion along with more of the same potions Tom had dropped off earlier this week.

Harry grabbed the potion, reading the labeled sticky note on top of it, ‘’For your throat.’’ It read, in Tom’s neat handwriting. Harry looked over at Tom’s bed, but the curtains were already drawn and the bed had already been made.

Harry contemplated for a second, but he ended up downing the bottle. He trusted Tom to keep his soul safe, so why wouldn’t he want to keep the soul’s keeper safe? He hadn’t harmed Harry since he had learned that Harry carried his soul.

Weirdly enough, it tasted like the pie he often ate at the grand hall. It was unnerving how much attention Tom paid to his surroundings, while he was in a full conversation with others.

Harry grabbed his list and got dressed, drinking his other potions and getting ready for another day of looking crazy by asking everyone in his entire grade what their favorite flowers were. If he got no result within Slytherin, he’d move to the Gryffindor students next, but he couldn’t remember ever interacting with many of them.

He ended up asking Walburga about her favorite flower, which non surprisingly, ends up being a purple gladiolus’.

‘’Shouldn’t you have enough favorite flowers by now?’’ Harry shrugged, smiling at her, ‘’Better too many than too little.’’

Walburga hummed, looking at her second-cousin-turned-fiancé, ‘’Do you think anything is off about him?’’ She whispered, looking at Harry.

Harry shrugged, ‘’He might’ve overused his magic. Orion did say he was going to practice more outside of class.’’

She sighed, ‘’Could be.’’ Harry could see her glaring at Tom from the corner of his eyes.

By the end of class, Harry had asked every Slytherin for their favorite flower. And nothing had changed.

Well, he hadn’t asked Tom yet but..
A small part of him was afraid. What if?
What if it was Tom?

What would he do then?
He would die.

He didn’t want to die. He doesn’t.
How can he?
How can he love a monster?

Well, he didn’t need to ask Tom, so he’d move on to the Gryffindors for now.
It couldn’t be him, so why would he even ask?

Tom felt as if his entire body was itching, he was felt uncomfortable. Because something was going on, something that he didn’t know about.

Harry had been asking every single Slytherin about their favorite flowers, skipped Tom, and moved on to the Gryffindors next without even seeming to consider asking him.

If it hadn’t been flowers Harry had been asking about, maybe Tom could’ve convinced himself it was all fine, maybe he still would’ve felt a bit offended, but not like he felt right now.

It obviously had to do with the flowers he had been puking up, but how? Why would he ask others for their favorite flower? And why not Tom?

Why did he need to know? Did it have to do something with solving his illness?

The questions raced through his head, and he felt like he was barely getting any peace anymore. He couldn’t lose his horcrux, he just couldn’t. He was valuable, a treasure both in knowledge and in soul.

His research was coming up fruitless so far, and he was becoming increasingly restless.

He was in the library, spending his every moment abusing his restricted section privileges to read everything he could. Which included books of the Dark Arts, just in case they included something about countering illnesses, and maybe a bit out of curiosity.

He didn’t even notice someone was walking towards him until a chair pulled up on the opposite end of the table, too engrossed in the book he was currently reading. He flinched at the loud sound, glaring at the person in question.

His glare softened when he looked at Harry, who seemed worse for wear. He looked nervous and uncomfortable.

Tom sighed, but he didn’t say anything and waited for Harry to do something. After a few moments of awkward staring, Harry sat down in the chair, biting at his lips, clearly deep in thought.

Tom checked the page number of his book before closing it, giving his full attention to Harry.
It seemed that he might get one of the answers he was looking for, from the boy’s mouth.

‘’Well?’’ Tom said, starting to feel impatient with the amount of silence. Harry cleared his throat, ‘’So.. do you have a favorite flower?’’

The question he wanted to be asked at last..

‘’Why do you ask?’’

‘’..A project, for Herbology.’’ Harry wasn’t a bad liar himself, but he was terrible at masking his true feelings. ‘’I didn’t know Herbology had such projects.’’

He was already regretting coming to Tom, ‘’You know what, never mind–’’ He attempted to stand up, but his body suddenly felt really heavy. He looked back at Tom to see that Tom had his wand trained on Harry.

‘’Stay.’’

‘’You can’t just tell people what to do!’’

‘’I’m not just telling you, I’m ordering you.’’ Harry glared at him, but Tom didn’t seem to care much.

‘’So, to come back to the topic at hand; I’m not a flower person but..’’ Tom leaned back in his seat, thinking of his options.

If he had to pick one, it would be a useful one. Flowers died too quickly, utterly useless. Unless they were used in potion ingredients..

‘’The moondew flower.’’

Harry furrowed his brows in confusion. He had read all about flowers the last week, so that he would be able to recognize each flower if by chance he started coughing up a different flower.

‘’I’ve never heard of it.’’

Tom looked at him, amused, ‘’Sure you have, it’s a potion ingredient.’’

Harry sighed, of course, it was. ‘’I’m no good with potions.’’

Tom didn’t say anything else, and Harry couldn’t help but take the bait. ‘’So what potions is it used in?’’

‘’Well,’’ Tom got this excited glee when he explained something that he found interesting, and it reminded Harry a bit of Hermione. Maybe in another life, they would’ve been friends too..

‘’Moondew is most famously known for the Draught of Living Death, but it’s also used in a handful of healing potions, such as the Wiggenweld potion. It’s also been used to sweeten butterbeer, and can technically be used as an antidote to many poisons if used right.’’

Harry was starting to feel like there was something wrong with him because a part of him screamed that Tom would’ve made a perfect teacher. And that Tom looked very good when he was actually using his brains for something good, for a change.

Still, Harry couldn’t resist teasing Tom. ‘’You really do only care about usefulness.’’

‘’A flower does not last forever, potions can.’’

Harry rolled his eyes, ‘’Whatever you say..’’

Unlike what Tom had expected, Harry didn’t leave his side. He had taken his homework with him and was writing something down, diligently working on it.

Eventually, Tom regained his focus and went back to working on his research.

That evening, Tom let himself into the Potions classroom to take a few ingredients. It took a bit longer than expected because he had to disillusion himself and get access to the lab without seeming suspicious. It was already late when he returned to the dormitory, but he had no intention of sleeping yet. ‘’Are you not going to bed?’’ Tom gave Malfoy an uninterested look. “I have business to attend to.”

‘’Can I do anything to assist you?’’ Finally, some words he did actually like to hear.

Tom thought for a moment, ‘’Go fetch me a living draught potion from Slughorn, tell him I’ve been having nightmares or something.’’

‘’From the Professor? But it’s after curfew..’’

Tom glared at him, the smile on his face barely keeping the hatred away. ‘’You ask if you can help, and then refuse to do so.’’

Malfoy cowered, ‘’Sorry, I’ll get on it.’’

‘’That’s what I thought, now leave.’’ Tom watched Malfoy leave, the irritation sizzling under his skin.

Tom put a charm on his bed curtains so that people would think he was already asleep and headed to his personal bathroom. He’d be spending another night without much sleep, it seemed.

Brewing a veritaserum wasn’t an easy feat, but Tom had already accomplished it a few times over the years. He had even gone to Slughorn, who had told him he brewed it perfectly. Still, it was a tedious process with lots of steps.

He spent some time looking over his notes, rereading each of the steps as if he didn’t remember them out of the top of his head, just in case. He added each ingredient with precision, carefully stirring the potion.

He didn’t know how much time had passed and how long he had been stirring, but when the potion was gradually starting to lose its color, looking more and more like water, he knew it was nearly done. He turned the fire to a lower heat and let it simmer.

That was part one down, now it would be the waiting process. He wondered briefly if he should also brew the antidote to the veritaserum, but he didn’t think it mattered much. A few more minutes of Harry speaking nothing but the truth would do them no harm.

Tom cast a Tempus, sighing when he saw that it was already three in the morning. Which meant that he would have about three hours of sleep left before he’d have to wake up, which was doable.

Suddenly, Tom heard a slam of the door. He tried not to flinch, but the loud sound brought back some unpleasant memories.

He didn’t pay any attention to it and washed his hands, cleaning up his supplies and hiding the cauldron behind the shower curtain. He wasn’t going to check what the loud noise had been until he heard a loud gag from the other room, and his legs took him to the normal student bathroom before he even realized what he was doing. He didn’t even check which bed was empty, because he already knew which bed it was.

He could’ve given Harry his privacy, but he really didn’t feel like waiting a moment longer. He wanted to sleep, and for him to sleep, Harry had to shut up and sleep as well.

The bathroom was quiet, quiet except for the soft pants and the flush of the toilet. He thought he imagined it, but he swore he could hear soft sobs coming from the stall.

‘’No way..’’ He could hear Harry mumble to himself, he sounded panicked. Tom was curious by nature, and he had half the mind to unlock the door again, but he didn’t feel like giving Harry another excuse to avoid him.

So he didn’t make a sound and waited. He didn’t know how long he waited, maybe a few minutes, but it felt like an eternity. An eternity of waiting, of being quiet, his curiosity getting the better of him.

He didn’t get this part of himself. Why didn’t he just go to sleep? He was already busy attempting to keep his horcrux alive, he didn’t need to care about Harry’s emotional state. As long as Harry had his head intact, Tom’s soul would be safe. Why should he care?

And yet, he did.

He felt a craving, a craving to fix Harry. He needed to, Harry was his.

The sobs were a constant, and Tom felt like giving up and walking away, leaving it for another day. He really wasn’t interested in comforting anyone.

Actually, he didn’t just feel it. He turned around and walked towards the exit, but before he could open the door he heard the sniffles stop.

‘’Hello..?’’ He heard a teary voice from the bathroom, weak and hoarse. He didn’t even attempt to cling to his pride, a poor excuse of a man.

Tom wondered for a moment if he should stay, his eyes glancing back to the door knob. He should leave, he didn’t want to deal with this. But, it’d be easier to tell Harry what to do when he was already emotionally vulnerable.

It seemed that the choice was made for him because the stall door opened. Tom felt breathless when he saw him, the green eyes tear-struck and slightly red. His hair was sticking to his forehead as if he had been sweating and feeling sick for a while.

The two of them stared for a moment until Tom spoke up. ‘’Harry, I–’’ Harry chuckled hoarsely, tears welling up in his eyes again. ‘’Of course, it had to be you… always you.’’

Tom frowned, was Harry that upset that Tom was the one who found him? He should be grateful it wasn’t someone like Rosier or Malfoy, who’d be spreading rumors when the morning came.

‘’Are you.. alright?’’ He wasn’t normally so bad at comforting, but it seemed that Harry had caught him at a bad time.

‘’Is that a joke? Do I look–’’ Harry paused, blinking his tears away and taking a deep breath before he continued, ‘’I’m.. I’m okay.’’ Right, as if Tom was supposed to believe that.

‘’You should visit St. Mungo’s.’’

Harry’s eyes widened, ‘’What..?’’ He mumbled sheepishly.

Tom barely resisted rolling his eyes, his throat feeling dry. ‘’The matron here is obviously not helping, and my potions can’t solve everything.’’

Harry took a deep breath, his eyes widening once more, turning quickly back into the bathroom to cough loudly, it almost sounded like he was choking on something. Tom took a step towards Harry– ‘’Stay there, don’t!’’

He waited for a moment, before speaking up. ‘’You know Harry, coughing up flowers isn’t exactly normal.’’ The coughing stopped, a tense silence falling over them. Harry peered his head out of the bathroom, glaring at Tom with those green eyes, the perfect shade of green.

‘’So you saw.’’ His voice was hoarse, raw with emotion and hurt.

Tom didn’t comment on it, ‘’What illness is it?’’

‘’That doesn’t concern you.’’

Tom smiled, letting his messed-up hair fall over his eyes. He grabbed Harry’s wrist, pulling him out of the stall.

‘’I think you’re mistaken.’’ Harry glared at him, refusing to answer him. He tightened his hold on Harry’s wrist, enjoying the way his eyebrows furrowed with pain.

‘’What illness is it, Harry?’’

‘’Fuck off, Riddle!’’ Harry attempted to pull his wrist away, but he couldn’t. Tom’s glare softened, wondering when Harry had gotten so.. frail.

‘’Let me help you.’’ The words left his mouth before he could think about it. Harry frowned, his eyes burning.

‘’Please.. just stop..’’ Tom softened his grip, eventually letting Harry’s wrist fall from his hand. They looked at each other for a moment, black eyes glistening with crimson staring at those green eyes.

Harry left wordlessly, slamming the door closed behind him.

Tom turned to the mirror, staring at his reflection. He mused with his hair, sighing as he glared at the bags under his eyes. He looked terrible, he’d have to conceal it tomorrow if the few hours of sleep didn’t fix his appearance.

In the mirror, his eyes moved to the stall that Harry had left open. He saw something lying on the floor and turned around, pausing when he saw another bloodied flower petal. Something in him compelled him to pick it up, as disgusting as it was.

‘’A moondew..?’’

He studied the blood on the petal, and against his better judgment, he took it with him. He waited a few more moments to ensure that Harry had gotten into bed and left the bathroom, heading back into the Slytherin prefects bathroom to store the petal in a vial. He might need it later to research Harry’s illness.

Tom had already made a decision. Tomorrow is the day, the day that Tom will learn what is wrong with Harry. Veritaserum ready or not, he could at least learn its name for research, the veritaserum was just for back up.

In the end, he didn’t sleep much at all. He didn’t dare count, but he doubted it was more than two hours. Three turned into two, all because of Harry’s dramatics. He would need to use the magical concealer Slughorn had given him..

He pulled himself out of bed, sleepily walking towards the prefects bathroom. He attempted to get himself ready, but his hair was refusing to stick. He even had to use some magical hairspray to keep it all in its place. He didn’t remember having to spend such a long time on his appearance in a while, and it was frankly annoying. The magical concealer worked well, but it still felt like it was beneath him to use it at all, he couldn’t go around walking like this.

He heard a loud knock on the door. Startled by the sudden noise, he accidentally left a streak of concealer on his face. He glared at his reflection, letting the tap run to wash off the mess he had made.

‘’Riddle!’’ Tom turned to look at the door, recognizing Harry’s voice. He didn’t particularly care to answer him, so he dried his face and restarted the process.

‘’Come on, we’re going to be late!’’

Tom cursed, grabbing his wand and casting a Tempus to check for the time. Harry was right, but Professor Slughorn’s class was first. That meant that he could make up some lie about patrolling first or whatever came to mind. His appearance needed to be fixed first.

He was getting annoyed with the constant knocking, but he kept his focus on blending the concealer, immediately noticing the effect in the mirror. Much better, now onto the other–

He heard a mumble from outside, and the door opened. He paused, glaring at the intruder, the concealer stick still very much in his hand.

Harry didn’t look much better than he did yesterday, as if he spent the whole night crying. He might even need the concealer more than Tom did at this point, not that anyone expected Harry to look proper after all this time.

Harry stared back at him, his mouth agape. Slowly, a smile started to form on his face. ‘’What are you doing?’’

Tom felt uncomfortable under his gaze, lightly biting at his lip. ‘’Removing the sleeplessness you’ve caused me.’’

‘’I didn’t know you used that.’’

‘’I usually never have to.’’ He bit back, glaring at Harry through the mirror, focusing on his reflection.

Harry paused, a guilty expression flashing over his face. Tom was blending his concealer, but he couldn’t help but glancing at Harry’s guilty expression.

‘’Did I wake you up?’’

‘’..Yes, you did.’’

Harry frowned, the guilty look in his eyes gave Tom a sadistic thrill. ‘’I.. I’m sorry– I wasn’t really thinking straight, I just–had to.’’

Tom finished blending, humming as he neatly put his stuff back in its correct place. He’d hate for anything to be out of order. ‘’Are you really not going to tell me?’’

A look of hurt swerved in his eyes, but Harry kept his stance. ‘’I won’t.’’

‘’I thought we were finally getting friendly, Harry.’’ Tom tsked, and Harry couldn’t tell if he actually meant it or not, but it still made his chest feel weird.

It was scary, so scary. He didn’t know what to do, so he kept moving on.

His eyes were nearly pleading, and Tom seemed to get the hint and let it go. Harry’s shoulders sagged, relief washing over him.

‘’Come, we’re definitely late now.’’

Tom smiled, ‘’I have a proper excuse, do you?’’

Harry shrugged, he was going to die anyway so what did a detention matter? ‘’Professor Slughorn likes me.’’

‘’You’re becoming more of a Slytherin already, Harry.’’ Just not enough. Tom would help him to become who he needed to be. He would raise Harry to where he belonged in the world.

Harry’s heart skipped a beat at the compliment, feeling more sick every minute. Yet he followed along, watching as Tom greeted their classmates and yearmates in the hall, as he put on a smile and chatted happily with their professor, even going as far as to pull Harry into his excuse.

They sat down at their table, and luckily this lesson was theoretical, because Harry had slept way too little and felt way too numb to even attempt anything right now, and his average skills in Potions didn’t help much.

He glanced at Tom from the corner of his eye, who sat perfectly straight, glancing at Professor Slughorn with what seemed to be his full attention.

His stomach felt heavy, yet he didn’t feel the need to cough. Whenever he was with Tom, it seemed as if the flowers calmed down a bit. He should’ve realized it sooner, but maybe he never wanted to. He almost wished he had died without ever knowing who it was.

He didn’t want it to be Tom, he couldn’t bring himself to think it could be.
His parents’ murderer. He played a part of so many deaths, so many loved ones of his. Sirius, Professor Lupin, Fred, Cedric.. so many muggles, the people he used to create his horcruxes.

Harry wasn’t stupid, he knew that Tom had crucio’d Orion, he knew that Tom had a temper, that Tom was an explosive moron.
And yet he couldn’t help it.

It wasn’t fair. He had saved the world, and he had gone back in time to prevent it all from happening in the first place, so why him? Why did he deserve this?

Why did he fall in love with a narcissistic asshole? Why not someone normal? Why couldn’t he just have been born normal..

That feeling of unjust came swirling to the top again, and he felt his eyes getting teary in class. He didn’t know why he was so emotional, he was going to die. Just like he would’ve in the battle of Hogwarts. He wasn’t scared to die then, so why was he now?

Harry Potter was saved by love, and he would die by love.

How ironic..

Harry didn’t notice that Tom’s eyes found him from time to time, nor could he feel the confusion radiating off of him. Tom didn’t get it.

Why was Harry getting so emotional all of a sudden? He had that look in his eyes again, like the one he had last night.

Was the illness fatal?
He’d be finding out today, he’d make sure of it.

.

.

.

Time seemed to drag on slowly, but all Harry wanted to do was escape. He had another appointment with Malinda today, just a check-up. And he’d have to tell her about Tom, or at least, that he had found the person on the other end of his affections.

This time, Tom didn’t even bother following him. He saw most of the Slytherin students heading the same way, so he assumed they’d have another meeting. It was getting on his nerves, and he couldn’t help but wonder what Tom was planning.

He didn’t know why Tom had used the Cruciatus curse on Orion, nor on Rosier, but he assumed it had something to do with them not following the plan.

He needed to know as soon as possible, he couldn’t let Tom plan anything right under his nose. But as far as Harry knew, Tom would lay dormant for a few more years, only building connections in the ministry.

Harry knocked on the door to the matron’s office, the doors magically opening at Malinda’s silent permission. She looked up from her desk, a sad smile forming on her face as she saw Harry.

‘’Harry, my boy, how’ve you been?’’
He walked towards her, a small smile on his face. ‘’I’m doing the best I can.’’ He needed to cling onto the last moments of normality, as long as he could.

She noticed something off about him and stood up, motioning for him to follow her. ‘’Where are we headed?’’

‘’Less questions, more walking!’’

Harry huffed, but he followed the school matron anyway. She led him to a private quarter attached to the matron's office. ‘’Welcome to my humble abode. Please, take a seat. I’ll serve us some tea.’’

Harry looked around the room, the old wallpaper hanging on the walls reminded him of the Dursley’s family home, but it was a lot more homely. Compact, small, not as grand and extra.

He sat down on the soft, leather couch and waited for Malinda to finish preparing the tea, fidgeting in his seat.

Malinda came back to the seating room with a tray of tea and a box of cookies. She gently set it down on the table, wandlessly letting the pot of tea fill their cups. She sat down next to Harry instead of on the couch opposite of him, which he hadn’t expected.

‘’Grab some food, it’s good for you.’’ She handed him a cookie, an eager glance in her eyes along with a hint of hidden worry.

She reminds him a little of Molly Weasley, and that thought brought him comfort. He politely ate the cookie, staring blankly ahead of himself.

Malinda found herself worried for the boy. She had a feeling there was something on his mind today, but she didn’t want to push him.

He finished his cookie, timidly looking over at her. ‘’I’m not trying to be ungrateful or anything, but don’t you have other patients to get to?’’

Malinda smiled, ‘’Not at all, they’ve been taken care of. Besides, you are my biggest patient as of right now.’’

Harry frowned, ‘’Sorry, I–’’ Malinda’s glare got him to quiet down quickly, ‘’None of that! Sick is sick.’’

Harry nodded, pausing for a moment. He hesitated, opening his mouth but quickly closing it again. Malinda pretended not to notice, adding sugar to her tea. ‘’Do you want some?’’

That snapped him out of his thoughts, looking at her with a puzzled gaze, ‘’Um, sorry?’’

‘’Some sugar.’’ She said patiently, ‘’Oh, um, yes please.’’

She gave him the cup of sugar and watched as he added some to his tea, not saying anything about his shaky hands that nearly spilled some sugar on the table.

Malinda waited to see if he would say anything, but he didn’t. Harry shifted uncomfortably in his seat, glancing at the clock every once in a while.

‘’Dear,’’ He flinched at the sound of her voice, glancing at her. She continued slowly, ‘’Why have you come today?’’

His guilty expression made her sigh, ‘’It’s not that I don’t appreciate your company, but I know you didn’t come for just a cup of tea.’’

He put his teacup back down on the coffee table, picking at the skin of his fingers. He didn’t know where to start, or if he even should.

Malinda also put her teacup down, turning in the seat so she could see him better. ‘’Now, I don’t mean to impose, but I’m going to ask you something dear.’’

Harry nodded, wincing as he felt a wet feeling on his fingers. Malida grabbed her wand off the table, gently grabbing his hand in hers, and mumbled ‘’Episkey.’’

Harry felt the gentle tingling appear over his fingers, the wound slowly closing to form into a small scab. She put her wand back down, gently moving her thumb over his hand. ‘’You found them, didn’t you?’’

The well broke, and tears welled up in his eyes once more. He tried to stop it, he really did. He didn’t want to cry, but the look of patience and pity in her eyes pushed him over the edge. He didn’t want to be pitied, he didn’t deserve it.

Not after he fell in love with his parent’s murderer.
Not after he fell in love with a person who caused wars.
Not when he was a narcissistic asshole, and he cared when he wasn’t supposed to.

Why did it end up this way?

‘’I-I’m sorry–’’ Harry hiccuped. Malinda let go of his hand and pulled him into a hug, rubbing soothing circles into his back.

‘’Shhh, it’s okay. Cry if you need.’’

He didn’t want to need it, but he did. He cried, he cried until his eyes were red and puffy.
He cried until his throat was hoarse, and he couldn’t do anything to stop it. He needed to calm down, he could barely think.

He didn’t know anymore, he didn’t know what to do.

He didn’t know if he could do this, how was he going to do this?

He was going to die–God, please…

He had been handling it so well, it had all been okay. Why did she confront him with the reality?

Why did it have to happen? He was so sick of this, he was so sick of being used, so sick of always getting the short end of the stick.

All he wanted to be, was just Harry.
Not the Chosen One, just Harry.

He wished Tom was different, that they had met differently.
That Tom hadn’t had such a shitty childhood, and that he had grown up knowing how to love.

Harry is going to die, but he can’t blame anyone but himself.
It was his own fault.

Tom is a monster, the most beautiful one there is. Smart, cunning, plotting, and charming.
And a major dick. So why?

Why him?

Why out of everyone, did it have to be him?

He couldn’t breathe, his heart was hammering into his chest.
His body felt so hot, yet so cold.
He was shaking, he noted.

He didn’t know where his body started or ended, he could only feel the pounding in his head as his lungs tried to keep up with his brain.

When was the ticking of the clock so loud?
When did his heart start to beat so fast?

He tried to slow his breathing, but he couldn’t do it. He coughed on his breath, swallowing down any flowers that tried to come up. He couldn’t think of anything else, his mind continuingly racing to Tom.

He didn’t know what it felt like to drown, but if he did, he’d say this came close.
He was drowning in himself, getting lost in his thoughts.

Something moved him, rather, someone did. The person he was holding onto moved, letting him go. He sobbed as he felt the warmth leave, ‘’D-D…d-don’t..’’ He didn’t wanna be alone, he couldn’t be.

Don’t leave—

The warm figure quickly returned, mumbling something to him as they touched his face. He didn’t know what was being said, his eyes were glassy and his glasses were gone somewhere. Slowly, the figure pressed something to his lips, something cold.

He closed his eyes, and then he heard it, ‘’Open your mouth, it’s a calming draught. Come on..’’ A gentle voice lulled him into opening his mouth and he did his best to drink the potion. The figure kept touching him, the touch was grounding, and slowly, his breathing calmed down as the potion started working its magic.

He didn’t know how many minutes passed before he finally felt comfortable opening his eyes, wincing at the dry feeling.

‘’Are you thirsty?’’ He glanced over at the figure, his eyesight finally clearing enough to realize it was Malinda. He glanced around, slowly remembering where he was.

He nodded, not trusting his voice. He felt an underlying feeling of embarrassment, but the calming draught overpowered it.

Malinda grabbed a napkin from the table, gently wiping his face with the cloth. Harry watched her every move with blurry eyes, glancing around for his glasses.

She handed him the teacup she had prepared earlier, ‘’It’s already cooled down a fair bit. I would warm it up with a spell for you but this temperature is better for you right now.’’ He opened his mouth to say something, but his throat was incredibly dry.

He felt mute, he wanted to speak, he wanted to apologize, he wanted to let her know how sorry he was for wasting her time.

But he couldn’t.

So he brought the cup to his lips and drank, the taste of the sweet tea overflowing his senses.

He watched as she grabbed his glasses from the floor. When had they ended up on the floor? Luckily, they weren’t cracked.

She cleaned them gently with the apron on her skirt, her old and gentle hands placing his glasses back on his nose.

She watched him drink his tea, waiting for him to say something this time.

And he tried, but his brain just–he couldn’t, his voice didn’t want to work. He was so tired, he felt like he could sleep for ages.

He didn’t even know why he was panicking so much anymore. He was going to die, he always knew that.

Maybe it was the calming draught talking, but now, he felt extremely silly.

Malinda waited until he finished his tea and took the cup from him, gently placing it on the table.

She leaned down and pulled open a drawer in the coffee table, rummaging in the drawer for a moment before she pulled out a bar of chocolate.

‘’Wish to share it with an old lady?’’

He paused, forcing the words out of his mouth. ‘’You’re not old.’’

She smiled sadly, ‘’Glad you think so.’’ She split the bar in half, handing him the other half. ‘’Here you go, eat up.’’

He wanted to protest and say it was way too much, that he didn’t need so much care, but he couldn’t bring himself to speak.

Chocolate..

He stared at the chocolate bar, a familiar memory passing through his mind. Professor Lupin..

He felt like he should be sad, but all he felt was numbness, his sore throat, and his painfully puffy eyes.

The first bite was filled with a creamy flavor, and slowly, he started feeling a bit better bite by bite.

‘’..I’m sorry.’’

She looked at him, really looked at him, as if she knew him, and smiled. ‘’It’s alright dear, that’s what I’m here for.’’

Harry ate the rest of the bar in silence, watching as the clock ticked away the minutes into an hour. He hadn’t even realized how long he had been there.

He wanted to leave, he wanted to hide and lay in his bed. He wanted to go to the Grimmauld Palace and hide, anywhere he used to call home.

But home didn’t exist anymore, not yet anyway.

Malinda didn’t want to let Harry return to the dorm yet, but Harry insisted on leaving, so she let him. He had to promise her that he’d return the next day to discuss the next options, as much as he didn’t want to.

She offered to make him some dreamless sleep potion, but he didn’t want to burden her any more than he already had, so he left.

The walk to the dormitory felt nearly peaceful. The halls were silent, with very few students on and about. It would be time for dinner in an hour, but Harry didn’t feel like eating.

He felt pathetic, yet numb. The two feelings were floating through his skin, and he was unable to tell where his own emotions started and where the potion ended.

It would work its way out of his system soon enough, not that Harry was looking forward to it.

Luckily, the Slytherin common room was empty. He walked up the stairs, excited to finally be able to get a nap and get his emotions in check. He wanted to feel normal again, and maybe a few hours of sleep while the others were distracted would do him well.

‘’Hello, Harry.’’ Harry flinched, looking behind him. Tom stood on the opposite end of the stairway, gazing intimately at Harry’s face, noting the puffy eyes.

Harry frowned, he really didn’t feel like dealing with Tom right now, he just wanted to take a nap.

But if Tom was here, where were the rest of the students..?

‘’Where are the others?’’

Tom smiled at Harry’s suspicion, ‘’Busy with their assignments, I assume.’’

Harry scoffed, ‘’The ones you gave them, you mean.’’

‘’Quite.’’

Tom walked towards him, brushing shoulders with Harry as he walked past him to enter the shared bedroom. ‘’You see, I’m here for a reason.’’

Harry glared at him, ‘’I really don’t feel up to your games today, Tom. I’m still sick.’’ Tom nodded, fixing one of the loose strands of his hair. ‘’That you are, which is exactly the problem I’ve come here for.’’ Harry noticed Tom playing with his wand in his other hand, having no idea when Tom reached for it.

Harry snuck his hand back in his sleeve, grasping at his wand.

If Tom noticed what Harry did, he didn’t let it show. He smiled, ‘’You see Harry, you happen to carry something dear to me. And I wish to protect it, sadly, that includes protecting you.’’

‘’Yeah, because your soul matters so much more than my life.’’

The smile fell off of Tom’s face, ‘’Right you are.’’ Something under the calming draught in Harry stirred, his own emotions bubbling up.

‘’Harry, my dearest, won’t you tell me what silly illness you have?’’

His heart felt heavy, Tom’s nonchalant expression spurring him on. He didn’t know if the calming draught was finally working its way out of his system, but he felt irrationally tired. Tired of having to deal with a narcissistic asshole, tired of being in love with one.

‘’It’s NONE of your business.’’ Harry attempted to walk past Tom, but his statement seemed to have pissed Tom off because as soon as Harry moved, Tom’s wand was pointed at him. ‘’Incarcerous!’’ Harry saw it in time, and he should’ve moved in time, but his body didn’t have the same reaction time as it used to, and so he got hit.

The magic wrapped around him, tightly bounding him as he fell to his knees.

‘’I tried to go about this the nice way, Harry, I really did. But you are simply too stubborn for your own good.’’

Harry flinched away when Tom reached for his face, but he couldn’t get away from his hand. Tom lifted his wand and pointed, using his other hand to move the hair out of Harry’s face.

Such a tender action, a tender action that brought butterflies to Harry’s stomach even though he was bound and under Tom’s mercy. Even though he had no idea what Tom was planning, his heart worked against him.

Tom’s wand was directly pointed against Harry’s scar, but Harry wasn’t afraid. Tom wouldn’t harm him directly, but he had no clue of what he was going to do.

Harry closed his eyes, just in time for Tom to cast the spell.

‘’Deprehensio.’’

Chapter Text

Harry felt a tingling wash over him, passing through his entire body three times before stopping at his lungs. He opened his eyes, and Tom’s face was full of focus. He was staring intently at the Latin words appearing above Harry’s head.

Harry’s eyes burned, but there was nothing left to cry anymore.

He hadn’t ever heard of the spell, but he assumed it was a type of diagnostic spell.

Finally, Tom looked back at him and released him with a wave of his wand.

‘’What is hanaha–’ ’Harry scrambled upwards and raised his fist towards Tom, punching him right in the nose. Tom really should’ve seen it coming, but he didn’t expect Harry to have so much sudden energy after spending the entire day in the matrons' office.

‘’I HATE YOU!’’ Tom was able to block the next punch, glaring right back at Harry. ‘’Do you really have to use muggle tactics?’’

Harry didn’t listen, continuing to hit Tom, his body already feeling sluggish. ‘’You selfish prick! You only care about YOURSELF!’’ Tom was getting sick of being hit, he grabbed Harry’s wrist and held them together tightly, but Harry didn’t care. He kept glaring at him. ‘’You didn’t tell me, so I found out myself.’’

‘’I didn’t tell you for a good reason!’’

‘’That’s suicidal! I could help you!’’

‘’I don’t want your help!’’ Harry screamed, ‘’I was doing just fine without you!’’

‘’You’re not just carrying your own soul in there, Harry!’’ Tom yelled, pinching at the skin of Harry’s wrists.

‘’It’s none of your business what I do with my life!’’

‘’It is when it concerns mine too!’’

‘’Fuck you, Riddle! I should’ve known you don’t know what consent means.’’ Harry spat, Tom raised his eyebrows in confusion, ‘’What?’’

‘’Like mother like son!’’ Harry’s angry expression fell, shocked at what he had said. He couldn’t even apologize before he felt Tom’s hands release his wrist, a loud slap echoing throughout the room.

Harry blinked, slowly readjusting his glasses. He hadn’t expected that, but he had deserved it.

Tom looked shaken, taking deep breaths. His eyes were uncertain, yet full of hate. He didn’t look at Harry, staring intently at his tingling hand. He clenched his hand, once, twice.

He looked back at Harry, his shocked expression meeting Harry’s.

‘’Tom, I–’’

Tom’s glare hardened, walking towards the exit door and bumping his shoulder harshly against Harry’s without looking back.

Harry watched Tom leave, hearing the common room door slam loudly. He would probably be heading towards the Chamber of Secrets to cool down or torture some unsuspecting fool.

‘’Fuck..’’ Harry rubbed at his cheek, the place feeling hot and tingly.

‘’Who’s using muggle techniques now..?’’ He mumbled to himself, kicking off his shoes and letting himself fall on his bed.

Out of the corner of his eye, he notices a new potion on his nightstand. Again, a note was attached in neat handwriting. Sleeping draught, use wisely.

He sat up, grabbing the potion and ripping the note off. He walked towards the bathroom and poured the potion down the sink, not caring for the repercussions.

He watched the liquid going down the drain, silently wondering if it would explode the drain. Luckily, nothing of the sort happened.

Silently, he wondered if Tom had spent his time brewing this for Harry. He knew it was a difficult potion to brew, and that it would take a lot of stirring, preferably by hand for the best result.

He sighed, putting his head in his hands. He didn’t know anymore.
Why did Tom do all these things if only to turn around and tell him he didn’t care about Harry in the first place?

Why did his life have to be so difficult?

Tom had never been so insulted in his life, and for once, he wanted his horcrux to die. He wanted to see Harry bleed out under him, to feel his pulse slowly stop under his very hands. To watch those beautifully green eyes lose their light to the same colored curse, Tom’s favorite curse.

But he knew he shouldn’t, it wasn’t right. He couldn’t let the information slip past him, but he couldn’t let this go unpunished.

He was so angry that whenever he even attempted to put any thoughts towards researching the illness, his brain froze, anger overtaking his every being.

Even his followers seemed to notice his terrible mood. Two days had passed since the incident and he couldn’t even bear looking at Harry without getting the urge to murder the little git.

‘’My Lord?’’ Tom looked up from his Transfigurations assignment, which he nearly set on fire not even five minutes ago, glaring at Nott and Lestrange. ‘’Yes?’’

‘’Has there been any..’’ He hesitated for a moment, finally settling on the words, ‘’..news about Potter’s illness?’’

Great, just the person Tom wanted to think about, for the millionth time today. ‘’There has been no news, seeing as no one has been able to deliver the name of Potter’s illness.’’

Nott frowned, ‘’You haven’t found it yet?’’ Tom cursed quietly, having pressed too hard on his quill. With a dull look on his face, he watched the ink spread across the parchment.

‘’I do not concern myself with such pesky matters. If you’re so worried, then avoid him for all I care.’’

Lestrange and Nott shared a look as if considering something between the two of them. Lestrange spoke up this time, ‘’Do you mind if we.. handle him?’’

‘’He’s been dirtying our reputation for far too long, my Lord.’’ Nott added.

Tom thought about it for a second, ‘’You may play with him for a week, until further notice. Don’t harm him too much.’’ Tom said, waving the ink spill away from his papers.

He didn’t listen as they said goodbye, nor did he care for the devious look on their faces. It would be good for Harry to learn a lesson, a lesson of who ruled Slytherin.

Without Tom protecting him, he had no one here. Not even Black could save him from Slytherin’s hierarchy, and he’d best be grateful Tom even kept it up for so long.

Don’t harm him too much didn’t leave much on the table, but they could put curses on him, ruin his assignments, make him late, trip him.. so many options. Tom wanted to see the look on Harry’s face when he realized what the rest of his Hogwarts years could really be like if he kept the attitude up.

He was wondering why he didn’t just Crucio the boy? Why didn’t he just sever his limbs and keep him locked up somewhere so no harm could come to him? Tom’s life would return to normal, he could research whatever he wanted and he could make headway into the political world.

But Harry was distracting, incredibly so. Why his future self accidentally transferred a part of their soul to a baby, he would never know. How could a wizard as great as Tom mess up so badly?

Tom was changing, for the better or the worse, he didn’t quite know yet. He needed to slow down and gather his thoughts, his horcrux’s mystery illness could wait. Maybe Harry would drop into a coma and never wake up again, all the better for Tom.

He’d start researching small tidbits on hanahaki today, and order his lesser followers to find out about the illness. He would’ve dealt with it himself, but the more he thought about Harry the more annoying he found him.

He looked around the library to check if he saw anyone of interest, anyone of use. There, he saw Longbottom reading a book on Herbology. If anyone would know, it would be a Longbottom, but the Longbottoms were a lower class of Purebloods.

Tom grabbed his Transfigurations assignments and walked over to the table where Longbottom was sitting at, smiling politely at the younger student.

‘’Good afternoon, Longbottom.’’ Longbottom looked up from his book, a stupid expression on his face, turning into an even dopier polite smile. ‘’Hi there, Riddle!’’

‘’I’m truly sorry to bother you, but could I ask you for a favor?’’ The Gryffindor student seemed taken aback, but he was a kind-hearted fool, ‘’Depends on the favor?’’ Still tactful, at least he had some sort of brain, Tom thought.

Tom pulled out the chair across from him and sat down, laying his own homework down on the table. ‘’I’d like this to stay between us as this is a very personal matter, so I’m trusting you with something very important to me.’’ Longbottom’s eyes widened comically, those already large eyes opening even wider. ‘’Oh?’’

‘’You see, my aunt has fallen terribly ill recently.’’ He frowned, sadly gazing at his Transfigurations homework. ‘’It’s a terrible disease really, they don’t know much about it yet.’’ He bit his lip, sad eyes peering into Longbottom

The line was cast, and all Longbottom had to do—’’I’m so sorry to hear it, I wish you and your family the best.’’

‘’Thank you, we greatly appreciate it.’’ Longbottom’s sympathetic eyes didn’t leave him, and he felt kind of uncomfortable under his gaze. Kind people were incredibly stupid, but also gross. Easy to take advantage of, but it filled Tom with a certain type of disgust. ‘’I wanted to ask you if I could access the Longbottom library, if only for a short while. To research for my aunt’s illness.’’

‘’The doctors don’t know?’’

Tom shook his head, taking a moment to take a breath. ‘’Sorry, this is all.. so close to me.’’

Longbottom reached out to take a hold of Tom’s hand, warm hands on his, Tom nearly pulled his hands away, and he found it hard to keep a straight face. ‘’I understand, of course, I’ll help you. What is the disease called, I’ll help you search?’’—was bite.

Tom smiled warmly, gently grabbing hold of Longbottom’s hand and squeezing it gently, silently imagining he was squeezing his throat instead. ‘’It’s Hanahaki disease. Again, I can’t thank you enough.’’ Longbottom squeezed back, smiling brightly at him.

‘’Of course, anything for a friend! And I won’t tell a soul, I swear.’’ They had barely spoken before today, only exchanging small pleasantries whenever necessary, but this would do.

‘’I appreciate your friendship more than anything.’’ It was shocking how easily some people became friends. All of them were mindless sheep.

Tom left as quickly as he could. He had set the first step towards finding out the truth, and it would take three more weeks for the veritaserum to finish brewing so he had some time left. He’d delve into the Dark Arts for now, and later he’d ask Black to look into his family library for any information on ancient curses. Then, regrettably so, he would have to ask a mudblood if they knew about the illness.

He couldn’t be asking too many people, if he did, people might start spreading rumors, and he wasn’t prepared to deal with that.

He briefly considered forcing the matron to tell him, and then obliviating her memories, but the risks were simply too high for such an ungrateful pest who gave him nothing in return.

The Dark Arts served him as a good distraction, but Harry’s words kept playing in his mind. Even late at night while he lay in bed, attempting to do some late-night reading before sleeping, he couldn’t stop thinking about those filthy words.

When Tom thought back on the situation, he figured he would’ve hexed him, caused him a world of hurt to see how long it would last before he would break, healing him each time before he was to die.

Yet, he didn’t.
He reacted in a more, disgusting, way. Muggle, even.
No matter how powerful he became, he always remained the same deep down.
He hated himself for it. A powerful wizard did not fight like a barbarian, and yet he had.
He felt seven again, standing up against the people who called him weak before he had discovered his mysterious powers.

He heard Harry cough again, heading towards the bathroom for what seemed to become his nightly activity. Tom cast a silencing spell around his curtains, glaring aimlessly at the ceiling.

Right now, he wished he had kept that sleeping draught because he couldn’t get a wink of sleep. Harry had been disrupting his schedule, even when he wasn’t involved.

Lestrange and Avery had been true to their word, they had rallied some of the Slytherins together to start ganging up on Harry. It wasn’t as amusing as Tom thought it would be, to watch Harry fall flat on his face.

His mind kept going back to the fight, and to how Harry should’ve been able to dodge the obvious charm if he wished to.

Tom had dueled Harry many times, too many to count. He knew Harry’s fighting style, and he could see Harry start making small adjustments in his style. At first, Tom thought it was a strategic move, but it seemed that Harry was starting to lack the energy and power to do much else.

He didn’t even play quidditch anymore, claiming that his cold wasn’t over yet.

Tom noticed it all, the longing looks Black sent Harry’s way, eager to help, eager to support his little friend. Black’s loyalty may not have been as strong as the others, but he knew how it worked in Slytherin. If everyone agreed with Tom’s choice, he had no choice but to follow if he didn’t want to suffer the same or worse consequences.

The next few days, the mischief continued. It had started to spiral into something more physical, but Tom didn’t care to stop it.

He turned his head at dinner when Harry’s pie suddenly exploded in his face, leaving small and angry burns in their wake, he ignored it when they messed with Harry’s potion, causing the cauldron to either burn until it was ruined or explode right in his face.

He let his Slytherins keep going, because not once, had Harry apologized.
Harry hadn’t spoken to him at all since the incident, and neither had Tom spoken to him.

But he saw it, he saw it before anyone else.
Harry was getting weaker.

Orion seemed to catch on and was slowly starting to hang out with Harry again when he thought no one was watching. But Tom knew, Tom always knew. He had eyes and ears everywhere.

It all came to a halt when Tom was paired with Harry for Potions class once more, having been assigned by Slughorn himself since Harry’s grades had been dropping again.

Tom had no intention of talking to Harry, and his skin felt jittery even being near him. He didn’t know why he kept looking for a cure instead of a way to extract his soul from Harry’s body, but he did.

He had gotten reports back from all his confidants, but they barely knew anything. Longbottom was able to share with him that it was a flower disease, that clogged up your lungs. That made sense from the symptoms Tom had seen so far, but there was nothing about a cure or a reason for the illness.

He looked over at Harry, who was silently taking notes of the instructions before they had to prepare their cauldron. ‘’Be sure to stir for at least four minutes, otherwise, your potion will end up having less effect!’’ Tom zoned out, staring intently at the empty page of his notebook.

It was a simple antidote for most poisons, an easy brew really. He had made a few himself in his own time just for precaution's sake, so he didn’t exactly need to pay attention. He couldn’t focus well with Harry sitting so close to him, a part of Tom still wanted to incendio him.

He was startled when he felt a tap on his shoulder, glaring intently at Harry, who seemed just as shocked as Tom was as if he hadn’t tap him on his shoulder. ‘’Um, we have to get started.’’

Right, class. Tom smiled, flipping the switch in his mind. He was Tom Riddle, the prefect. Tom Riddle didn’t hold grudges, and he certainly didn’t glare at people.

Tom wordlessly grabbed his cauldron, preferring his to Harry’s busted-up one. He stood up, not bothering to announce he was leaving to go grab the correct ingredients. He gathered the mistletoe berries, goat stomach, and unicorn horns, grabbing a few extra unicorn horns and vanishing them for his personal use and headed back to their table. He shoved the berries towards Harry, not sparing him another glance.

Harry should atleast be competent enough to crush them correctly and work them into the potion.

Tom carefully cut the goat stomach with his magic, taking his time to precisely cut around the bezoar. He finished it all without touching the organ, levitating it to the nearby waste disposal with a hidden grimace.

He’d have to save the unicorn horn for the end, as he’d have to break the horn open and let the essence drip into the potion, making sure to get an exact 0.5ml amount.

He looked over at Harry, frowning at his attempt to remove the skin from the mistletoe berries with his.. hands?

‘’What are you doing?’’ The words left his mouth before he realized what he was doing, staring at Harry with wide eyes. ‘’Removing the skin, duh.’’ He grumbled, cursing when he accidentally squished the berry.

‘’Oh for Merlin’s sake..!’’ Tom grumbled, hastily ripping the bunch out of Harry’s hands with a heady glare. He shoved the bezoar towards Harry, ‘’Add this into the water, let the bezoar simmer for a few minutes until it starts to bubble, and then beat the potion with the stirrer.’’ Tom didn’t take any room for complaints, using his wand to extract the skin from the berries piece by piece. He kept looking at Harry’s progress in the corner of his eyes, glaring at him ‘’Wait with beating it, it hasn’t bubbled properly yet.’’

‘’You sound like my old teacher.’’ Harry mumbled with a half smile.

Tom scoffed, ‘’Maybe you’d have been remotely decent at Potions if you listened to that old teacher.’’

‘’Doubt that, he seriously hated my guts.’’

‘’I also start to hate your guts when I see you creating potions.’’
Harry stiffened, pausing his actions for a moment. ‘’I thought you already did..’’ He looked at Tom with a hopeful expression, but Tom didn’t acknowledge what he said at all. He finished extracting the skin, floating it towards the disposal area with ease.

Tom was watching Harry’s every move like a snake waiting on its prey, quick to step in when something went awry.

Slughorn walked over to them, smiling at Tom. ‘’Tom, do give the dear boy a chance to figure it out on his own and help, no direct involvement.’’ Tom suppressed the distaste on his face, nodding, ‘’Sure thing, sir. But I do hope this won’t affect my score in class?’’

‘’Of course not! We all know what you’re capable of already.’’ Tom smiled back at Slughorn, nodding. ‘’Dear boy, do try to listen to Tom okay? He’s got the best scores for a reason. I’m afraid he’ll beat me soon enough!’’ He laughed heartily, and Harry was sure he meant it. It didn’t make him feel any better though, because Tom was looking at him like a bloodhound, forcing himself to keep his hands under the table.

Slughorn left after giving them a once over, trusting them to handle themselves. Tom glared at Harry, intently switching between looking at the potion and Harry. ‘’Stop looking at me, focus on the potion.’’

Harry flinched, immediately looking back at the potion. He tried to pay attention, but it was a bit hard when someone was staring at you with a gaze that could kill.

The potion had started to bubble, and Tom was watching with a hawk eye as Harry followed the steps. He didn’t say anything when Harry was stirring the potion, so he assumed that must’ve done well.

Harry grabbed the berries, shooting Tom a hesitant look. ‘’Wait any longer and the berries will rot.’’ He rolled his eyes and attempted to ignore Tom, gently putting the berries in piece by piece, shooting Tom a look each time to see if he did it right.

‘’Now stir at a quick pace, come on.’’ Tom grumbled. He didn’t know why he was getting so fed up about this, but potions had to be done right. This was such a simple task, and yet Harry didn’t seem to care about his Potions grade at all.

Harry cursed, following Tom’s orders. Tom was mostly worried about the unicorn horn because it had to be done with a certain precision. He sat as still as he could in his seat as Harry reached for the horn. ‘’Remember, 0.5ml only.’’

Harry broke the horn open with a bit of difficulty, again doing it in a muggle way. Tom watched nervously as the liquid spilled into the potion, the potion bubbling impatiently underneath.

‘’Enough.’’

Harry immediately stopped pouring it in, glancing hesitantly at the potion. ‘’Well, it hasn’t exploded yet.’’

Tom put his head in his hands, grumbling, ‘’Yet..’’

Tom watched as Harry continued to stir, and by the end of it, they actually had a half-decent potion. The berries had turned out too mushy, but for the rest, the potion was of good quality.

‘’Good job you two, I knew you’d get it eventually Harry!’’ Slughorn congratulated them. Tom let out a sigh of relief, even though it didn’t affect his grades, he still had a reputation to uphold.

‘’It’s all thanks to Tom really, Professor.’’ Tom raised an eyebrow at that, Harry’s humbleness really knows no bounds.

Tom smiled, ‘’Nonsense, you did plenty of that yourself.’’

‘’Yeah, with your directions.’’ He grumbled, leaning his head on his palm. Only then did Tom notice a bandage on Harry’s palm, a prank gone too far, he assumed.

He bit down a sense of guilt because it wasn’t his fault. Harry’s actions had led to this, and he hadn’t apologized or seemed grateful for anything that Tom had done for him.
It was Tom’s right to punish him, and the treatment had already stopped.

Still, the Slytherins hated him. They hated him because Tom did, but he didn’t know if he truly hated the boy.

Three weeks is too long for a common cold, and at this point, the other Slytherins had stopped asking him if he wanted to play Quidditch with them. He was becoming more and more isolated.

Had it already been a week since their argument? Time was moving quickly. The veritaserum would be done next week, though he needed to come up with a plan to make Harry actually drink it.

He had stopped drinking any of the potions Tom had left him, so his best bet would have to be through Black. He’d get Black to gift him some expensive sweets, and inject the veritaserum in them.

Yes, that would work. Harry just had to wait a bit longer to be healed.

Harry couldn’t take it anymore, even walking up the stairs felt painful. His head was swarming, but he didn’t want to give in. He didn’t want to become bedridden, the sooner you lay down and give up, the quicker your death is.

He still had things to do, he had to make sure Tom stayed on the right path. He owed it to the future of the world, to his friends and family.

Malinda had been giving him potions. From nutrient potions to energy and strength ones, but he had been taking them for two weeks already, and it felt like the effect lessened every time he took them. After class, he spent his time either in the matron’s office or staring out the window, at the quidditch fields imagining he was the one flying.

He should’ve been following Tom around, to listen in on his meetings and check his progress, but Tom seemed distracted recently. Even then, Tom still made a lot of connections whenever the Slug Club held a party, chatting and borderline flirting with the politicians and influential people there.

Sometimes, he imagined the Voldemort of his time doing such things, which always made him crack up a bit. He could see bits and pieces of Tom in Voldemort, but he couldn’t see Voldemort in Tom, no.

Now that he knew he was in love with Tom, he felt content watching him from afar sometimes. He knew it was strange, but Tom didn’t want to speak with him anymore after their argument, and Harry understood that. Harry didn’t really want to speak with Tom either until they were forced to pair up in Potions class again.

Now, Tom seemed almost neutral towards him. The pestering had stopped, and Harry was sure that it was Tom’s influence. A small part of him hoped that Tom played no part in telling the Slytherins to harass him, but he knew that Tom was a petty man.

He probably would’ve brought up the idea in the first place.
He had no idea why he fell in love with such a man, but he had.
And there was no going back.

‘’Are you alright there, Harry?’’ Harry looked away from the window, turning his head towards Orion. ‘’Of course, just.. sitting.’’

‘’Can I sit next to you?’’ Harry nodded, tucking his legs against his body to give Orion some space to sit opposite of him on the window sill. Orion sat down, staring outside of the window just like Harry had moments prior.

Orion licked his lips, glancing at Harry. ‘’You’re.. not doing well, are you?’’

Harry chuckled dryly, ‘’No, I’m not.’’

Orion hummed, biting his lip to downplay the overwhelming amount of concern he felt. The silence was deafening, but Harry found it comforting. He liked spending time with Orion, even if there was nothing to say, or if Orion lacked the words to say what he wanted to.

He waited for Orion to find his wording, staring out of the window with a sense of longing. Orion opened his mouth a few times, attempting to say something, anything at all, but the words were lost on him.

After a moment, he decided on, ‘’I care about you.’’ His warm hand placed itself on Harry’s knee, squeezing reassuringly. Harry smiled softly at him, ‘’I care about you too.’’
He lost his focus, blinking rapidly when he felt Orion squeeze his leg again. ‘’Harry?’’

‘’Hmm? Sorry, I’ve just—been having attention problems recently, that’s all.’’

Orion looked at him as if he was looking right through him, ‘’You’re lying, aren’t you?’’ Orion added, ‘’That’s not all, is it?’’

‘’..It’s not.’’

Orion’s hand left him, moving his hands back into his lap. ‘’Are you going to be okay?’’

Harry hesitated, unsure of what to tell him. The answer was no, he probably wasn’t. But he didn’t want to make Orion upset or distract him from the upcoming exams..

He settled on ‘’I don’t know.’’, smiling sadly at him. Orion didn’t say anything anymore, so Harry resumed staring out the window. He could feel Orion’s gaze on him occasionally, but he didn’t pay it any mind.

‘’Wanna go flying with me?’’ That question caught him off guard, and he smiled helplessly. ‘’I can’t, sorry.’’

‘’No energy?’’

‘’Don’t hold it against me, will you?’’

Orion smiled for the first time, ‘’Of course not.’’

Orion kept Harry company for the rest of the afternoon, even when Harry didn’t want to fly with him. Orion stuck around until dinner, where he went to sit with his friend group. Harry didn’t mind, he was grateful that Orion had spent those hours with him, making small talk of the like.

On some days, he wondered what he did to deserve this, and on others, he was grateful for being sent back in time. This was one of them.

Over the next few days, Harry and Tom didn’t exchange more than pleasantries, but Tom didn’t feel nearly as angry anymore. Whenever he looked at Harry, he felt numb. A numb sense of dread, cold.

He didn’t know how to handle it, he wasn’t used to feeling this way.

The potion would be finished the day after tomorrow, and he was quite anxious to get it over with. He needed to know.

A thought struck him that froze him in his tracks, what if Harry also didn’t know? What if Harry didn’t know the cure? What if Harry didn’t even know anything about his illness at all?

What would Tom do then?
He didn’t know..

For the first time in his life, Tom didn’t have control over something. He couldn’t fix something.

It scared him.

Tom sighed, grabbing his cloak and putting his arms through the sleeves. He had best get ready for patrol. He wasn’t in the mood, but he had a duty to uphold. He’d simply send a few frolicking teenagers back to their dorms, deduct points, and call it a night.

As expected, he found a Gryffindor and Hufflepuff in a broom closet together, much to his disgust. Luckily, they were still clothed, if not unsightly to the eyes.

But, what else could you expect of a reckless Gryffindor and a stupid Hufflepuff?

Tom checked his pocketwatch, admiring the design. He wasn’t fond of muggle creations, but he quite liked pocketwatches. They showed status, and Tom liked his treasures. It had snake detailing on it, he thought with a small smile as he touched the engravings.

Malfoy had given it to him for his birthday last year, and as much as he disliked the man, he had an eye for gifts.

Tom put his pocket watch back in his pocket, happy that he would only have to walk for another thirty minutes, he was ready to hit the sack. Tom walked back to the second floor, and he nearly missed something sitting on the windowsill, or rather, someone. He froze when he saw Harry sitting there.

He hadn’t noticed an empty bed, so Harry must’ve used a spell to close his curtains from the outside. Smart, for a Gryffindor.

Harry had a blanket on his lap, and he held a notebook in his hands, writing into it with shaky hands. Tom saw the frustration on his face, and he wondered if it was because Harry was writing on an unstable surface, or if his illness had truly been making Harry weaker.

Tom had seen Harry writing in that notebook before, but he hadn’t paid any attention to it. Right now though, Harry had a look of nostalgia in his eyes while he wrote. He couldn’t help but walk towards Harry, his curiosity getting the better of him.

‘’Good evening, Harry.’’ Harry was startled, looking up from his notebook with big eyes. Tom got a quick glance at the words in the notebook, but it mostly seemed like Harry was writing down a story.

‘’Good evening.’’ Harry mumbled, closing the notebook and placing it down beside him. Tom sat down on the opposite side where Harry sat, much like Orion had a few days ago.

Tom tucked his long legs under him, trying to sit comfortably. At some point, he gave up and let one leg hang off the windowsill.

‘’Aren’t you going to deduct points, mister Prefect?’’

Tom hummed, glancing at the star-lit sky. ‘’Not today.’’

‘’What if someone finds out you’re playing favorites?’’ Tom scoffed at Harry’s playful expression, ‘’I’m the only one on duty tonight, and I’ve already walked the halls three times. There is no one left.’’

Harry chuckled, ‘’Besides if anyone does catch us, you can always say you were helping me.’’ He said, referring to his illness. Tom paused, letting the smile fall off his face. He sighed and closed his eyes. He didn’t feel like talking about that sort of stuff.

After a few moments of silence, he heard some movement, and then the scratch of a quill on paper. Tom wished he had brought a book with him, but the sound of the quill on paper was also quite comfortable, so he stuck to glancing out of the window every once in a while and closing his eyes.

He didn’t know how much time had passed before he felt a gentle nudge on his leg, his eyes opened wide, his heart racing quickly until he saw it was just Harry.

‘’Oh good, I thought you had fallen asleep.’’ He mumbled apologetically. Tom blinked the sleep away from his eyes, shocked at the revelation.

He actually had fallen asleep, if only a light sleep. He had never been able to fall asleep around anyone else, which was why his curtains in the dorm had so many charms on them, but Harry was different he supposed. Harry carrying a part of his soul did have its perks.

‘’What time is it?’’ Harry gave him a funny look and cast a Tempus, Tom’s eyes widened when he saw that it had already been over half an hour since he had sat down. He hadn’t noticed the time pass at all.

‘’You were asleep, weren’t you?’’ Tom glares at him, and Harry only laughs. ‘’I wasn’t.’’ He stood up, stretching his legs with a tired sigh.

‘’You sound the same as you do when you just wake up, and your eyes are all small.’’ He says, stupidly amused with the situation.

‘’You are delusional.’’ When did Harry have the time to notice all of that about Tom? Tom was always the first one out of bed, the first one to get himself decent and dressed for the day.
He didn’t know Harry had been paying so much attention to him.

Harry tied the laces on his shoes before standing up as well, tucking his notebook under his arm. ‘’Let’s head back before the others notice we’re missing.’’ Tom was going to agree, but Harry cheekily added, ‘’And someone needs his beauty sleep.’’

Tom started walking, leaving Harry behind him. His long legs took fast strides, and Harry had to jog to keep up with him. Tom changed his pace to accommodate Harry, confused at how fast Harry was breathing.

Surely Harry had more stamina than that?

Tom was asleep as soon as his head hit his pillow, and for the first time in a long time, he dreamt of something other than war.

The veritaserum potion was done, and it was perfectly brewed, like every other potion Tom had ever brewed. Tom stored the liquid in a vial, grabbing some expensive cookies he had bought and removing the charm from them, with his wand, he extracted a small part of the cookie and added a good amount of the veritaserum. The rest of the cookies had the same treatment, albeit less of the potion. He didn’t want to overdose Harry, nor did he want Harry to share all of Tom’s secrets if it somehow got to that topic.

Tom checked the cookies for any signs of foul play, but they looked like perfect cookies on the outside. He levitated them back into the box and tied a bow around it. Orion was already aware of his task, and he’d be delivering it to Harry after class.

Tom couldn’t wait to confront him, to reach the final piece of the puzzle.

.
.
.

Orion pulled Harry aside after class, conjuring a package out of thin air with his wand. ‘’I got you something.’’

Harry smiled, excitedly looking at the package. ‘’Are you sure? That looks expensive.’’ Orion chuckled, shoving the package against Harry’s chest, Harry had to bite back a wince. Orion seemed to have noticed the pained smile on his face and softened his grip.

‘’Of course not. Besides, everyone deserves something to feel better when they get sick.’’

Harry smiled, gently taking the box from Orion and tracing his hands over the beautiful bow and the expensive packaging. ‘’Thank you, I’ll treasure it.’’ Orion smiled back at him, letting out a chuckle when Harry pulled him into a hug. ‘’Thanks, I mean it.’’

Orion patted his back gently, that same guilty feeling swirling in his stomach. ‘’It’s no problem, I swear. Just, take care of yourself, yeah?’’

‘’Of course.’’

They separated from the hug, and Harry gave the packaging another once over. ‘’I think I'll bring it back to the dorm, maybe write a bit while I’m there. Wanna come along?’’

Orion smiled sadly, ‘’Sorry, I already have plans. I hope you have a good afternoon though.’’

Harry smiled, having already expected the answer. ‘’It’s okay, go and have fun for me.’’ He knew it wasn’t fun to always spend time with your sick friend, but he did appreciate every minute Orion spent with him.

Orion waved him goodbye, jogging towards his friends who were waiting on him a bit further down the hall. He looked so much like Sirius when he smiled that it gave Harry whiplash. Harry glanced at the box of cookies, sighing.

He had lost quite a bit of his appetite, but he’d at least try a few bites to show his gratitude to Orion.

The Slytherin's common room was still empty, as class had just ended. Most of the Slytherins usually stayed around in their meeting room, or hanging around the library.

So he was surprised to see Tom lounging on his bed, a book in his hand. He didn’t seem surprised at all to see Harry come in, and a part of Harry wondered if he had expected Harry to come to the dorms.

‘’Hello.’’ Tom mumbled, focusing back on the pages of his book.

‘’Hi, you’re back early.’’ He said, putting the box of cookies down on his nightstand. He kicked his shoes off.

‘’The Prefects meeting ended earlier than expected, so I came to enjoy the peace and quiet.’’

Harry frowned, ‘’Oh, I’m sorry. Should I..?’’ Tom gave him a funny look and shook his head, ‘’You don’t have to leave.’’

Harry coughed into his hand, frowning when he felt the flower petals fall in them. He looked back at Tom, but Tom was already reading his book again so he took the time to open his drawer and put the petal into his drawer and grab a napkin to clean the blood off of his hand.

As soon as Harry turned his back, Tom’s eyes found his figure, watching as he hid the flowers.

Tom frowned, turning his head back to his book when Harry grabbed a book of his own.

They spent some time in a comfortable silence, and Tom almost felt a strange sense of remorse for what was going to transpire once Harry had digested a cookie. He knew he was going to destroy the progress he had made once again, but it would be for a good cause. Harry would come to appreciate it in the end.

Harry bit at his lip, glancing at Tom. He looked so peaceful, it reminded him of the night they spend on the windowsill. He looked like a totally different person, and it scared Harry.

It scared him, and it warmed him at the same time. That was the person he was in love with, not Voldemort, not the prefect he made himself out to be, he was in love with Tom, just Tom.
Harry reached over to grab the box of cookies, untying the bow with care. He turned to Tom, ‘’Tom?’’

The boy hummed, intently staring at the words on the page. It didn’t seem like he was actually reading any of it, and more so as if he was deep in thought.

‘’Orion gave me some cookies earlier today. Do you want some?’’

Tom’s grip on the book tightened, finally flipping the page. ‘’No, thank you.’’ Harry shrugged and grabbed a cookie, taking a bite of it. It was delicious, the flavor was really rich and the filling complemented the chocolate in the cookie.

Harry put the box back down on his nightstand, closing it with a happy sigh. It was nice to have something sweet every now and then. Back then, he never ate many sweets to keep his body in good shape for Quidditch, but now, he was losing weight slowly so a few cookies wouldn’t do him any harm. Harry guessed most of the weight he lost was muscle mass anyway because the fat on his body still mostly looked the same.

‘’Harry,’’ Tom called out a few minutes later, Harry looked over at him to see that Tom was intensely staring at him. ‘’How are you feeling?’’

‘’Shit.’’ The words left his mouth before he could even register it, and a part of him wanted to believe it was simply a slip of the tongue.

‘’How so?’’ Tom seemed to be digging for an answer, but Harry hadn’t been giving him an answer all along, why would he try again now?

‘’I’m sick.’’

Tom hummed, configuring a bookmark and putting it in his book. ‘’Won’t you tell me what hanahaki is?’’ Harry’s heart dropped, he held his hand over his mouth and tried desperately to get his brain under control.

Tom stood up, slowly trailing towards Harry like a predator waiting on its prey. ‘’You’ll tell me, won’t you? I only wish to help.’’ Harry shook, fighting against the potion, which he assumed to be veritaserum. Tom removed the hand on Harry’s mouth, holding both of Harry’s hands in his, his tall frame leaning over Harry.

Harry had the disadvantage that he was sitting, and the fact that he was currently weaker than Tom was. ‘’I can’t believe you..’’

Tom cocked his head, looking at Harry with a sick sense of amusement. ‘’I can’t believe that you won’t tell me about your illness, and here I have been so patient with you. I can take care of you, my dearest soul.’’

‘’You just do whatever you please.’’ Harry grit through his teeth, glaring at him, ‘’You’ll never change.’’

Tom smiled at that, ‘’I never intended to. I will remedy my future mistakes, to make way for greater plans.’’

Harry pulled on his wrists, Tom didn’t expect the sudden resistance and nearly stumbled into him. He pulled himself up, glaring at Harry. ‘’Harry, what is hanahaki?’’

Harry bit his tongue, doing his best to remember his occlumency lessons with Snape, but he was so tired, he didn’t want to fight anymore. ‘’It’s..’’ He struggled, but he wasn’t able to resist the urging look he got from Tom. ‘’An illness, flower illness.’’ He gasped out.

Tom’s blunt nails dug into Harry’s wrist as a warning, ‘’Stop resisting it, I want a full answer, Harry. I ask you again, what is hanahaki? What does it do and why does it exist?’’

The question was so specific that there wasn’t much Harry could say to fight against the potion, so the truth spilled from his lips. ‘’It’s–it’s.. one-sided love, a flower grows in your lungs.’’ The grip on Harry’s arms lessened, ‘’The flower of the person you love. The flowers will grow until..’’ Harry struggled, pulling on his wrists. He didn’t want to, he didn’t want to admit it. He didn’t want Tom to know, he never did.

‘’Until what? What happens when the flowers grow?’’

‘’..You die.’’ He mumbled, he felt so sick. He wanted to die already. He wanted it to be over, he wanted Tom to go away.

But he didn’t want to die, he just wanted it to stop.
He wanted the pain to stop.

‘’What..?’’ Tom mumbled. Harry couldn’t bring himself to look at Tom, he didn’t want to see his face. He didn’t want to know how he’d respond. ‘’...Is there a cure?’’

‘’A surgery or the person you’re in love with loves you back.’’ Tears welled up in Harry’s eyes, Tom’s cold hands doing nothing to stabilize the swaying his body felt.

‘’Why don’t you take the surgery?’’

Harry took a deep breath, trying to ignore the pang in his chest when the flowers took it as a sign of rejection. ‘’It’ll make you lose the ability to love–I can’t, I just.. I can’t lose that. It’s all I have.’’ The grip on his wrists tightened, blunt nails digging deeper into his skin.

‘’All you have?’’ Tom snarled. His head was fuzzled, but he needed to get as much information as possible before the potion worked out. He could get angry later, he needed to know first. ‘’Have you confessed yet?’’

Harry bit his lip, ‘’No.’’

Tom scoffed, ‘’Are you afraid that you’ll be rejected?’’

He tried to clear his head, he really did, but it felt like the veritaserum was a lot stronger than usual. ‘’Yes. You die quicker if you get rejected.’’

Tom’s eyes widened, and he was silent for a moment. Harry stared at the wall behind Tom, maybe if he pretended it wasn’t happening, it wouldn’t hurt as much.

It wouldn’t hurt as much that Tom had betrayed his trust again, that Tom had used Harry’s only friend for his own benefit, and the fact that his only friend didn’t have the guts to say no.

He almost couldn’t believe the words he heard Tom say next, ‘’Brew an amortentia then.’’ Harry’s eyes widened, finally looking up at Tom. He seemed conflicted, and for good reason.

Harry scoffed, ‘’Out of all people, I figured you would understand..’’ Tom was startled, but Harry wasn’t finished yet, ‘’You really are insane, you know what kind of damage that does to someone! How could you of all people suggest that!?’’

‘’Somethings are more important than your morals, your life as such!’’ Tom yelled back, Harry recoiled in disgust, ‘’You are disgusting! I would never force someone to love me.’’

‘’Because you’re weak, only a weakling lets himself die so quickly. Take the damn surgery!’’

‘’No!’’ It hurt, his lungs burned so bad. He wanted to run away, he didn’t want this anymore. He wanted to close his curtains and go back to sleep, wake up tomorrow, and hope this was all a dream.

‘’Tell me who it is, I’ll deal with it then!’’

‘’Killing them won’t solve anything!’’ Harry scoffed, if only it would. God, he was sick. He didn’t actually want Tom to die, but the things he did..

‘’Who. Is. It?’’ He grumbled, Harry shook his head, trying to think of his parents, of any happy memories that would surface to fight the potion off. He couldn’t do it, he couldn’t think of anything at all, ‘’Who are you in love with, Harry?’’ His tone softened.

Tom squeezed his arm roughly, ‘’Answer me!’’ Harry winced, ‘’YOU, YOU ARSE!’’ Tom’s widened eyes didn’t stop him, the words came tumbling out of his mouth. ‘’It’s always been you, always.. I can’t escape it!’’

Tom’s grip softened, letting Harry’s arm drop back down to his side, his arm burned, but he kept going. ‘’I hate you so much, I don’t know why I even love you, I don’t know! But I do!’’

Tom didn’t know what to say.
Harry was dying for him, for the love he had for him.

‘’You’ve got to be kidding me..’’

Harry sobbed, his lungs felt as if they were getting crushed by an invisible force. It burned, it burned so much.
He choked on his breath, flowers getting stuck in his throat. He stood up and rushed past Tom, who stood as still as a statue and ran towards the bathroom to puke up the flowers. The flowers felt a lot bigger this time, and a lot more painful.

His eyes were teary, and the flowers in his lungs made it hard to breathe. The rejection stung, it hurt so bad.

He opened his eyes, and instead of just petals, he saw whole flowers. They were still closed, slowly blooming inside of him.

He hadn’t even noticed when Tom walked up behind him, and for once, he didn’t try to hide it. There was no use anymore.

‘’A moondew..’’ He whispered, ‘’So.. it’s true?’’

Harry was shaken, he had to take a moment to stabilize his breathing before he could turn towards Tom. ‘’Why would I lie?’’ His throat was so sore, it burned painfully.

Tom opened his mouth, ‘’I..’’ He couldn’t think, he didn’t know what to make of it.

‘’How could you..?’’ He mumbled, biting at his lip. ‘’I mean.. are you stupid?’’

Harry let himself cry in front of Tom because it didn’t matter anymore anyway. ‘’Maybe.’’

A part of Tom clung to the idea that Harry had been lying about who he was in love with, but the proof was harder to face than just hearing the words.

Tom’s hand twitched and itched for his wand. If he obliviated Harry, would that remove his feelings?

‘’Leave, please..’’

Tom blinked, he hadn’t seen Harry look so vulnerable before. Before, he looked frail because of the illness, but even now, his eyes held conviction.

He didn’t leave. ‘’You should get the surgery.’’

Harry glared at him, his green eyes full of contempt. ‘’Are you stupid!? I said no!’’

‘’Are you just going to let yourself die!?’’

‘’It’s not like I asked for this!’’

‘’Stop pitying yourself and do something about it.’’ Tom glared at Harry, glared at him as if it wasn’t Tom’s fault that Harry fell in love with him. As if it wasn’t Tom’s persistence that allowed them to become close.

‘’Do I need to Imperio you into taking the surgery?’’ Tom scoffed. Harry’s glare was cold, his eyes filled with hatred.

‘’If you do that, I’ll kill you.’’

‘’You–’’

‘’No, Tom! If you do that, I’ll kill you!’’ He yelled, ‘’I’ll hunt down each of your horcruxes one by one and come back for you, even if it kills me in the process.’’

‘’You wouldn’t. You love me too much.’’ Tom spat back. Harry’s glare didn’t waver, but the knot of anxiety in his chest swelled.

‘’I wouldn’t anymore.’’

They stared at each other with heated glares, and the silence was deafening. Harry was the one who spoke up after a few moments. ‘’I wish I had never fallen in love with you.’’ Harry walked past Tom, leaving the bathroom with a loud thud of the door.

Tom stared at the space where Harry had stood. It took him a few seconds to get a move on, wishfully staring. ‘’I wish you hadn’t either.’’ He whispered.

Tom didn’t know how he eventually ended up in the Chamber of Secrets, but his heart was racing.

Someone loved him, and that love was killing him.
His horcrux was dying, and he couldn’t do anything.

Suddenly, a thought struck into him. Would forcing Harry to make a horcrux fix this?

Harry had no one to turn to, he had no place to escape to so he walked until he couldn’t anymore. He walked until he ended up near the lake. He took in the sight of the flowers, the grass, and the enchanted fishes in the river.

He felt sick and hopeless.
He didn’t know where to go from here.

His mind was going crazy, and a small part of him was actually considering taking the surgery. It was crazy and vile. He didn’t want to turn out like that, and yet he wanted to take the surgery. He wanted the pain to leave, he wanted to be okay again.

He wanted to fly, he wanted to be free.

The wind was cool on his skin, it kept him grounded. He allowed himself to cry, he allowed the thought of dying to settle into him.

He needed to start accepting it, there was no way around it. The surgery was vile, he couldn’t become like that. He couldn’t betray his parents after all the love he had gotten from them, he couldn’t let the love he held for humanity disappear.

He wouldn’t become a monster.

Being alive and feeling numb is worse than eternal sleep, he figured. If death is just like sleep, then he hopes he has nice dreams.

He coughed, flowers getting stuck in his throat. His throat was sore, but he had to get the flower out. It scratched at his throat, finally falling into his hand.

A bloody moondew. Moondew flowers are much bigger than Spider lilies, so they hurt way more.

He wondered when it would be over. He wondered when he would take his final breath.
He wondered how Tom would respond knowing that his nemesis had finally died? Died, because he loved a monster.

But Tom isn’t a monster, Voldemort is.

Harry didn’t know how long he had been sitting there, all he felt was the cold wind against his skin. He was starting to feel cold, but he didn’t want to leave yet.
He didn’t know if he could face Tom yet.

Harry cast a Tempus, the time showing up as 7 pm. Dinner was from 6 pm until 9 pm, so he would have to hurry to grab some food. He didn’t want to be a bother to the elves later.

He dragged himself up, his chest hurting from the movement. He would just have to get used to it, it would be over one day.

Harry made his way over to the Slytherin table, glancing at the Gryffindor table from afar. He wished that he was walking over there instead, to be greeted by Ron and Hermione’s cheerful faces.

Orion smiled at him and patted the seat beside him, ‘’You’re late!’’

‘’Sorry, wasn’t feeling well.’’ Orion frowned at the small sad smile on Harry’s face, but he didn’t push. They could see how red and puffy his eyes were, and Harry was sure that there would be rumors later, but for now, he was living in the present.

Harry looked around, shocked to see that the chair at the end of the table was empty. The cutlery lay there untouched, his glass empty.

‘’Where is Tom?’’ He didn’t know why he asked, but a small part of him still cared about Tom.

Orion shrugged, ‘’Not sure, he hasn’t been seen since class.’’

Harry hummed, aimlessly playing with the food on his plate. Malfoy smiled reassuringly at him, ‘’Don’t worry about him, he gets into a funk sometimes. He’s probably found something interesting, whenever he gets like that he just forgets to eat.’’ He grins, lowering his voice to whisper into Harry’s ear. ‘’Don’t tell Tom I said that, he’ll kill me.’’

Harry smiled, ‘’I won’t, promise.’’

Tom didn’t eat much, not even during mealtimes. He came from an unfortunate background, so it made sense. But Harry didn’t get why Tom would subject himself to hunger after all he had been through.

Harry wouldn’t, even when he was sick, it was important to eat something. You never know when you can’t eat anymore.

Tom wasn’t in the dormitory either, not even after curfew. Abraxas said that there had been a scheduled meeting, but Tom didn’t show up. Harry asked him if it was a regular thing for Tom to miss, but Abraxas said that Tom rarely missed a meeting, not even if he was focused on something. He had only missed a meeting twice, including today.

Harry was starting to feel worried. He was the one who was supposed to be feeling shit, not Tom. He didn’t know why Tom was hiding away, maybe he was just researching after all.

Harry couldn’t sleep that night, he kept tossing and turning in his bed. His mind kept coming back to Tom, and the way he had reacted earlier today.

He knew that he was probably the first one who had told Tom he genuinely loved him, but he didn’t expect the reaction to be so.. strange. He expected Tom to be angrier, not hide away.

He had been slipping in and out of consciousness when he heard the dormitory door open, near silent footsteps walking towards Harry’s side of the room. Harry didn’t bother to grab his glasses before he opened the curtains, his eyes adjusting to the light.

Tom turned around at the noise, his mouth agape. He quickly regained his composure, sitting down on his bed and taking his shoes off. ‘’Go to sleep.’’ He whispered, a strange expression on his face that Harry couldn’t quite place.

‘’Where have you been?’’ Harry whispered back.

‘’Just making an extra round for patrol.’’

‘’Liar.’’ Tom glared at him, clearly already annoyed. ‘’You weren’t at dinner either. Have you eaten?’’

Tom scoffed, ‘’You being in love with me does not give you the right to know everything about me.’’

‘’No, it doesn’t.’’ Harry said, clearing his voice, ‘’But before you knew I was, you would’ve told me.’’

Tom paused, hesitant, before he spoke up again, ‘’I was in the chamber.’’

Harry hummed sleepily, rubbing at his eyes. ‘’Did you eat something?’’ A strange look flashed through Tom’s eyes again, and he shook his head with a suspicious look on his face.

‘’Go ask the elves to bring you a sandwich then.’’ Harry murmured, sleep calling to him. His eyelids were starting to feel heavy, and he wondered if Tom had something to do with his sudden influx of tiredness.

Tom looked so confused that it was kind of funny, but Harry was confused too. Confused with himself.

Harry knew that Tom cared for Harry in his own way, even if it was only for his soul, but then, Harry realized something. Tom had never had someone care for him in the way Harry had, Tom had never had someone ask if he had eaten or if he was feeling okay, and actually mean it.

And Harry understood it, because they were the same. Harry had been raised the same, but unlike Tom, he was taken care of later by people who cared.

Harry huffed, clapping his hands gently. ‘’Filk.’’ The house elf showed up, it was one of the kitchen staff elves.

‘’Master Potter, how can Filk help?’’

Harry turned to Tom, ‘’What do you wanna eat?’’ Strangely enough, Harry could feel the wave of sudden tiredness slowly disappear. So it really was Tom’s influence..

‘’A smoked duck fillet with a side of bread.’’

Harry scoffed, turning to Filk, ‘’Could you bring a serving of that?’’

‘’Of course Master Potter, Riddle. Filk will be back in a moment.’’ The elf apparated quietly, leaving the two to sit in silence until he returned.

He handed the plate to Tom, who took it gratefully. ‘’Thank you, Filk.’’ Harry said, glaring at Tom for his lack of manners. Filk beamed, ‘’Filk is most welcome!’’ The elf disappeared.

Tom put the plate down on his nightstand, eyeing it with a strange look on his face. ‘’You thank a house-elf?’’

‘’They’re just doing their jobs.’’

‘’They’re not human.’’ Harry gave Tom a funny look, so he dropped it. He didn’t feel like arguing with the boy anymore, not when everyone was sleeping already. He was tired.

Tom shoved the plate towards Harry’s end of the nightstand, ‘’Eat.’’
Harry frowned, ‘’I already ate. ‘Sides, it’s for you.’’ He mumbled.

‘’I can’t finish it all, and you need to eat more.’’

Harry grumbled, sitting up in his bed. ‘’Fine..’’

Harry tasted a piece, smiling at the flavor seeping into his mouth. It was very juicy and sweet, must be a particular type of glazing. ‘’It’s good.’’ He whispered. Tom nodded, ‘’I know.’’

They ate in silence, and Harry was happy to see Tom eat something.
Tom then proceeded to get ready to head to bed, and Harry finally felt at peace. It must have something to do with the flowers because whenever Tom was near, he felt a lot calmer.

He finally managed to fall asleep the moment he closed his curtains after Tom left for the bathroom, a part of him hoped that Tom had played a part in it too.

The next day, Harry woke up with a heavy throat. He groaned and attempted to sit up. It felt like the flowers in his lungs had gotten a lot worse, they felt a lot heavier. His breathing sounded off, but he ignored it.

‘’Rejection speeds up the process.’’--- Harry let the thought pass him by, opening his curtain and getting ready for class.

Herbology class wasn’t Harry’s favorite, but it was one of the only ones that Tom wasn’t in, so he’d be free from him for a few hours. Harry didn’t know what to think of the situation anymore. Tom was acting strange, and not how he had expected at all.

Tom hadn’t been disgusted, or seemed it at least. He had been shocked, and he still seemed to be shocked last night.

It would be better for Harry to keep his distance from Tom for a while, and spend some time with Orion. He could at least enjoy his days, time was running out.

Keeping his distance from Tom didn’t go as planned, because as soon as Harry stepped out of the classroom, Tom stood there. When he noticed Harry, he smiled at him. ‘’Harry, nice to see you.’’

‘’Hello?’’ Harry said, feeling suspicious at Tom’s sudden smile.

‘’I’ve got something to discuss with you, follow me, won’t you?’’

Harry sighed, there go his plans. ‘’Fine, but you better be quick.’’

Tom led them to one of the empty classrooms. When the door closed behind them, he heard the door fall into the lock.

He frowned, looking at Tom. ‘’Why?’’

‘’It’s a rather private conversation, wouldn’t want anyone to walk in.’’ Or out.

Harry sat down on a desk, and Tom stood near him, leaning against one of the tables.

‘’You see Harry, I’ve been thinking about your.. situation, and I believe I’ve come to a conclusion.’’ Tom said proudly, toying aimlessly with his wand.

He continued, ‘’You know what a horcrux is, yes?’’

Harry glared at him, ‘’No way.’’

‘’Why not? You’d die, sure, but you’d return to life, and you’d keep your ‘’love’’.’’ Tom said nonchalantly, as if his feelings were fake, as if he wasn’t dying because of his ‘’love’’, as Tom put it.

‘’I’d come back and die all over again!’’

‘’Sounds better to me than continuing to die as you are right now.’’ And the constant pain of death might change your mind about the surgery.

‘’Do you know how much it hurts, Tom?’’ He whispered, glancing at his dangling feet. ‘’It burns, it scratches at my lungs. Every time I have to move, it hurts. Every time I breathe too deep, it aches. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone..’’

Tom let out a disappointed sigh, ‘’Take a potion for the pain, you’ll live.’’

Harry chuckled, ‘’I don’t want to, I don’t think you’ll understand.’’ He looked back at Tom, his eyes swirling with conviction. ‘’I don’t want to live like this. I want to be able to fly, to be free. I can’t be free, not like this.’’

He smiled sadly, ‘’I want to be able to love too, so don’t suggest taking the surgery again.’’

Tom looked puzzled, utterly confused. He didn’t understand why Harry would allow himself to die when there were so many options laid out for him. Sure, being weak was horrible, but it was something you could work around.

Harry blinked, and suddenly Tom stood in front of him. He only had the time to gasp before Tom’s hand was on his cheek, and his lips were on his, pushing roughly against Harry’s. Harry tensed and attempted to push Tom away, his heart beating quickly.

He didn’t want it, not like this..

Finally, Tom took a step back, his hand still cradling Harry’s cheek. His face was flushed, his eyes shining with a wanton hope. ‘’And?’’

Harry pushed Tom’s hand away from him, sadness bubbling up. He was going to be sick again, ‘’You can’t just do that!’’

‘’That was love.’’ He said matter of factly, letting his arms drop to his side.

‘’No, it wasn’t! Kissing isn’t just—god, how do I even explain it?’’ Harry grumbled, moving his lips over each other. Tom’s lips had been warm, and so soft.

His heart ached.

Tom frowned, glancing unsurely at Harry. ‘’So it didn’t work?’’

‘’No! And, don’t you do that again!’’ Harry yells, clearly flustered. Tom found it kind of funny, even if his reaction was strange. How else does one show their love for someone else if not kissing?

Tom huffed, ‘’I am not deaf, you do not have to yell.’’

‘’Being thick-headed counts just as much..’’ Harry grumbled, gently touching his own cheek.

‘’I’ll pretend not to have heard that for both of our sakes.’’ Tom glared light-heartedly at him.

That was the end of their ‘’conversation’’, and honestly, Harry was confused with Tom’s behavior. He knew that Tom didn’t have a healthy upbringing, much like himself, but he must’ve realized that kissing wouldn’t be a replacement for love.

Or was Tom really starting to become that desperate?

.
.

Harry’s owl had delivered a package for him in the morning. He had ordered something special for Malinda.

Well, it wasn’t as much as she had done for him, but it would be something to convey his feelings of gratitude to her. He really appreciated her and he wanted her to know that.

It was kind of awkward to be walking around the school with a bouquet of flowers, but Harry was lucky enough that the owl had delivered it to him personally in the owlery and not in the dining hall. That would’ve gotten him a lot of unwanted attention, which he wasn’t in the mood for. Now, or ever really.

He considered getting her a box of chocolates as well, but the chocolate she had shared with him was an expensive brand and he didn’t have the funds for that, and he didn’t know if she would like the cheaper kind. She’s a pureblood, what if she didn’t like it?
He couldn’t have that.

The flowers would have to do. He had gotten her a bouquet with blue hydrangeas, which showed gratitude and sincerity. He hoped it wasn’t too much, or too little.

Before he could worry himself too much, Malinda answered the door. ‘’Oh, hello Harry.’’ She smiled at him, but her eyes immediately scanned him with worry.

‘’Have you been eating well?’’

He smiled, ‘’Yeah, just fine, thanks.’’ He had been eating decently, not as much as he once had, but he managed to eat most meals.

Malinda noticed the bouquet behind his back. Harry smiled sheepishly and revealed it to her. She gasped, wonder entering her eyes. ‘’Oh, Harry..!’’ She didn’t even take the bouquet from his hands before she enveloped him in a crushing hug.

Harry flinched, he hadn’t expected the sudden hug but quickly melted into it.

She pulled back after a few moments, squeezing his arms gently. ‘’Thank you, truly. This is wonderful.’’ She took the bouquet with a smile, lovingly gazing at the flowers. ‘’I’ll charm them so that they stay fresh.’’

Malinda stepped to the side, letting Harry enter the office. Malinda hummed happily, ‘’Go take a seat, I’ll find a vase.’’ Harry smiled as he watched her fret around the office. She eventually found a vase and transfigured it to fit the flowers. With a flick of her wand, she ushered over to Harry.

‘’There we go, these flowers will stay forever.’’

‘’I’m glad you like them.’’ She played around with the flowers until she was satisfied with their arrangement, ‘’It’s the most thoughtful gift I’ve ever gotten.’’

‘’Truly?’’

She chuckled, ‘’Oh dear, not even my husband is that thoughtful. They mean something, don’t they?’’

‘’Yes, ma’am. It means gratefulness if I remember correctly.’’ She smiled, ‘’Way more thoughtful than that pea-brained husband of mine. And I bet you’re right, you’ve studied them.’’

He chuckled at the comment, ‘’I’m sure he’s not that bad.’’

She sighed playfully, ‘’Oh you wouldn’t know half of it. He’s so oblivious that I sometimes wonder if I have to smack him for him to get the point.’’

‘’Really, how so?’’

‘’I might tell you later, we have something to discuss first.’’ His heart felt heavy, he really didn’t want to talk about what happened the last time he visited.

‘’Are you sure you can’t tell a story first?’’ Harry asked sheepishly. She smiled sadly at him but shook her head. ‘’We can later, I promise.’’ She gently squeezed his hand.

‘’The headmaster wishes to speak to you about your illness, preferably today. I was just about to come looking for you.’’ She whispered, her tone light though her words were dark.

‘’Today..?’’ He mumbled, feeling seemingly empty.

‘’Today. You’re starting to look worse for wear, dear, it was only a matter of time before I had to inform the headmaster.’’ Harry sighed. He understood, but that didn’t mean that he had to like it.

He didn’t want to pull more people into his situation, but he did get why it was necessary to do so. The school had a role to fulfill as well, and Harry couldn’t be selfish. Not right now.

‘’Okay.’’

Malinda squeezed his arm reassuringly, ‘’Thank you, love. I’ll be there with you every step of the way.’’ Harry nodded, ‘’Alright, I’ll call the headmaster over then. Do you want something to drink in the meanwhile?’’

‘’A cup of tea, please.’’

With a flick of her fingers, the kettle turns on. Headmaster Dippet walks in soon after, his demeanor is gleamy, and his magic is reared with sorrow.

‘’Hello, dear boy. We’ve met once before at the start of the term, and here we are yet again.’’ He sat opposite of Harry, folding his hands over his robes.

Harry mirrored him, trying to appear as calm as possible. ‘’We are..’’ He mumbled softly. Malinda levitated the tea kettle over to where they were seated, pouring a steady amount in each of their cups.

‘’Tea, headmaster?’’ Dippet smiled gratefully at Malinda, ‘’Yes, that would be lovely.’’

Headmaster Dippet looked back over at Harry, ‘’Thank you for meeting with us on such short notice. I’m afraid we have a rather heavy topic to discuss.’’

Harry bit his lip. He noticed Malinda smile reassuringly at him from the corner of his eyes, ‘’Yeah, that’s right.’’

Headmaster Dippet hummed, clasping his teacup to enjoy its warmth. ‘’Hanahaki disease, was it?’’ Harry nodded, ‘’Hardly heard of nowadays, but it’s still very much present. Tell me dear boy, who are your affections for?’’

Harry smiled sheepishly, ‘’Sorry sir, I’d rather not say.’’ Malinda glared half-heartedly at the headmaster.

‘’Don’t ask pointless questions, you wanted to discuss something.’’ Harry smiled gratefully at her.

The headmaster looked flushed, clearing his throat. ‘’Yes, my apologies. I was merely curious, I do hope you don’t take offense to it.’’

‘’No sir, I understand.’’ He didn’t, but he didn’t want to cause any problems.

The headmaster hummed, ‘’Where to start? I’ve always been bad at these difficult conversations.’’

Malinda glared at him, ‘’Well, let’s start with the topic at hand. Harry, the headmaster wishes to speak to you about your decision regarding the surgery.’’ Harry startled, immediately sitting upright in his chair.

He hardened his gaze and stared at the headmaster, waiting for him to say something. The headmaster sighed, ‘’It is as Malinda proclaims. We do not wish for a student as wise as yourself to perish under such circumstances, and the surgery is a wonderful option with a great recovery rate.’’

‘’I don’t want it.’’ He grumbled, toying with the skin on his fingers.

The look of empathy on the headmaster's face made Harry’s blood boil. He didn’t understand at all, he just didn’t want a bad record. ‘’But the recovery–’’

‘’I don’t want to, I just– don’t. I can’t let myself live without emotions.’’ The headmaster nodded in understanding, ‘’I understand that, nobody could. But here at Hogwarts, we could look for something to fix–’’

‘’Sir, with all due respect, if it could’ve been solved like that, it already would’ve been.’’

Malinda huffed, ‘’The boy is right. I wouldn’t have let him suffer this long if there had been a solution!’’

‘’Dying is hardly a solution, living without emotions for a while shouldn’t have too much of an effect. People who have had the surgery have had very fulfilling lives.’’

Harry frowned, ‘’I don’t care, I don’t want it!’’ He only realized that his hands were shaking when Malinda took hold of his hands, gently comforting him. Malinda didn’t look away once, staring sternly at the headmaster.

‘’He has made his choice.’’

Dippet sighed with frustration, ‘’You don’t seem to understand–’’ Malinda shushed him, squeezing Harry’s hand reassuringly. ‘’Dippet,’’ The headmaster’s hard stare softened under Malinda’s glare. ‘’I suggest you drop the topic before I’m forced to kick you out of my office.’’

Dippet took a sip of his tea, smiling sadly at Harry. ‘’I’m sorry, I’ll drop the topic. I just want what’s best for you.’’ For us.

Harry didn’t respond, bitterly glaring at his reflection in the teacup.

Malinda let go of his hand, turning to face Harry. ‘’Harry, there is one more thing.’’ The questioning gaze he gave her made her heart melt, realizing that she had truly grown to care for the boy. She wished it had been different, but watching him deteriorate under her care was hard.

Maybe the hardest part of her job, but she would be there every moment for him.

She looked at Headmaster Dippet for confirmation. He didn’t protest, so she took the lead of the conversation.

‘’I know it’s a tough subject, but I’d like it for you to sleep in the infirmary from now on.’’ Harry’s heart sank, ‘’I know it’s not ideal, but I’ll transform it into a special area for you and you can take your stuff with you.’’

‘’What..?’’ He mumbled hopelessly.

Was he that far already?
Was he so weak and near the end already that he had to stay?

He took a deep breath, holding his head in his hands. ‘’Okay..’’

Malinda’s warm hand touched his shoulder, gently touching him. ‘’I’ll get a house elf to move your belongings. What do you want me to tell your housemates?’’

Harry paused, he wasn’t sure. He didn’t want to worry them, he didn’t deserve their pity. ‘’I’ll.. think of something, or tell them myself actually. Thank you.’’

Headmaster Dippet cleared his throat, ‘’Well then, I must be going now. I wish you the best, young Potter. Do let us know if you change your mind.’’ Harry gave him a bitter look, but he didn’t bother to comment on his wording.

‘’Yes, sir. Thank you again.’’ The Headmaster stood up with a sigh, stretching his arms. Before he could head towards the door, Malinda spoke up.

‘’Headmaster, I’d like a word with you later.’’ Harry hadn’t seen her look so stern before, at least, not at him. He found it kind of funny.

‘’Right, that’s fine. Come by the office any time.’’ Harry thought the man looked almost nervous.

‘’That won’t do, wait for me out here. I’ll be done with Harry within ten minutes max.’’ The Headmaster tried to object, but Malinda’s glare didn’t give him any room to do so. He left the room, presumably to wait outside and give them some privacy.

Malinda moved Harry’s hair out of his face, smiling gently at him. ‘’Harry dear, let’s get your area set up.’’

Malinda made him feel a bit better about the situation because he had all his personal belongings there. She even transfigured the bedsheets to change them from the white, dead look, into a royally green color.

The curtains around the bed were held by magic, and only he and Malinda could open them at any time. He would have more privacy than in the dorms, it seemed.

Still, a part of him would miss that life.
It was all he had known, in both his past and present life.

And now he couldn’t keep an eye on Tom anymore, and his whereabouts nor what he was doing at any point of the day.

He was even allowed to eat dinner in his new ‘’room’’, and he decided to do so on the first day. He didn’t want to face his housemates, not yet anyway.

It seemed that not everyone had gotten the memo because Tom walked in right after dinner service with a pointed glare.

Harry could hear him from the other side of the room, his magical signature filling every corner of the room. He was annoyed, and Harry could sense the presence of another strong emotion as well, but he couldn’t pinpoint what it was.

He could hear Tom greet Malinda and ask for permission to visit Harry, using his status as a beloved prefect to get right through her under the guise of discussing his homework and classes.

Malinda led the demon right to him, not knowing that Tom was the one who was the cause of Harry’s would-be demise. He wondered if Malinda would treat Tom any differently, had she known.

‘’Here he is.’’ Malinda smiled at Harry, stepping back to reveal Tom. Tom drank in the sight of Harry, scanning him for a sign of discomfort or injury.

‘’Harry, mister Riddle is here to discuss some class-related things with you.’’ Tom smiled gratefully at Malinda, ‘’Thank you, madam, I promise I won’t remain long. I just wish to offer him some company.’’

She smiled knowingly, ‘’I understand, take as long as you need. I’ll be over in my private headquarters. Press your alarm button if you need anything, Harry.’’

‘’Thank you.’’ Malinda nodded, leaving the two of them alone. Tom wordlessly sat down on the chair next to Harry’s bed. The silence was deafening and awkward. A wordless battle between them to see who would speak first.

Tom did, ‘’So you’ve gotten admitted.’’

Harry closed his eyes, ‘’We’re getting close apparently.’’

He heard Tom take a deep breath, ‘’Already..?’’ Harry didn’t open his eyes to look at Tom’s face.

Harry hummed, he didn’t actually feel like talking at all. He heard rustling and the scraping of wood against the floor. Harry opened his eyes to see that Tom had moved his chair closer to Harry’s bed.

Harry noticed two books lying in Tom’s lap, ‘’What’s that?’’

‘’A book.’’ Harry rolled his eyes, his heart fluttering at Tom’s amused smile. ‘’What is it about?’’

‘’It’s a book containing wizarding fairytales for kids, including the Deathly Hallows. I figured you’d be bored.’’

‘’So you brought me a children's book?’’

‘’You’ll like it.’’ He said matter of factly, putting the book in Harry’s lap.

Harry traced the cover of the book with his hands, smiling at the cartoonish figures that moved on the cover of the book. Magic never failed to amaze him.

‘’What about the other book?’’

Tom stared at Harry with an incredulous look on his face, ‘’For me to read, of course. You didn’t expect me to do nothing, did you?’’ Harry hadn’t expected Tom to stay at all, actually.

Harry didn’t answer and opened the book on his lap, immediately captivated by the beauty of the magic captured in the pages. To Harry’s dismay, Tom was right. He did like it, it was interesting. He had never read these, not even as a kid. He was muggle-raised, and Harry didn’t exactly have time for fairytales in his past.

Tom seemed invested in his own book as well, and all that could be heard was the occasional fluttering of the pages. Tom was a faster reader than Harry, or maybe he was skipping some parts because the man was already halfway finished with his book.

Tom closed his book with a thud, startling Harry out of his daydream. ‘’It’s getting late, I’ll be back tomorrow.’’

‘’What?’’ Harry mumbled, shocked at the declaration.

‘’I’m heading back to the dormitory, I still have to make my rounds as well. You look like you’re about to fall asleep anyway.’’

Harry sighed, smiling at Tom. ‘’Sure, whatever you say. Goodnight, Tom.’’

‘’Night, Harry.’’ Harry grabbed his bookmark and marked the page, closing the book and placing it on his nightstand with a sigh. He listened to Tom’s footsteps disappear, his shoulders sagged in relief.

It wasn’t as awkward as he expected, but he was confused. Tom said he’d come back tomorrow, but why?

He didn’t get to ponder the situation for long, because he fell asleep soon after. He did make it to class the next day, and he learned that the teachers had told the students that Harry had been having sleeping issues, which was why he’d be sleeping apart from the rest.

Orion looked at him the moment he entered the classroom, intently staring at him. Harry didn’t look back at him, he wasn’t ready to lie to his friend again.

After class, Orion and Walburga found him in the matron’s office and invited themselves right in. It seemed to become a common occurrence, because Orion visited him a few times a week, sometimes bringing his fiancée along with him. Harry liked Walburga, even if she became a bad mother in the future. He wondered where it went wrong because she had a kind side to her as a student.

‘’You know, Harry, I’ve been wondering something..’’ Walburga turned to him, the polite smile on her face had slowly become more welcoming since they had been spending more time with each other. Harry looked at her, ‘’About?’’

‘’Tom has been more quiet recently, but also more aggressive. It usually has to do with you whenever he gets like that, but it’s been lasting longer recently.’’ Harry frowned, the pit in his stomach felt heavy and uncomfortable. He didn’t want to be confronted by this.

Orion groaned in agreance, ‘’Yeah I know, it’s been such a pain. Two days ago he cast a hex at Rosier for asking if he could get a pass to the library’s restricted section.’’

‘’I’ve never known him to be so short-tempered, it’s odd, really.’’ Walburga adds, playing with the hem of her robes.

‘’Hasn’t he always been like that?’’ Orion chuckled at Harry’s question, ‘’Not as much as he is right now.’’

‘’He has his moments.’’ Walburga adds, ‘’In our first year, he set Malfoy’s robes on fire for taking food off of his plate as a joke.’’

Orion laughed, ‘’Right! I have never heard Malfoy scream so loudly, it was hilarious really.’’

Harry smiled, ‘’Well I get that much, he was trying to take his food.’’

‘’It’s just food.’’ Harry sighed, but he didn’t comment on his friends’ views. He understood that for them it was different, they had all the food they could ever want, but he also understood Tom’s viewpoint.

‘’He did it wandlessly too.’’ Orion commented, snacking on some raspberries. Walburga held her hand open in a silent question, and Orion immediately gave her some. Harry’s heart warmed as Orion turned to him and offered him the same, but he shook his head.

‘’He’s always been powerful.’’ Walburga said, popping a piece of fruit in her mouth. Harry hums, ‘’Emotions play a big part in magic, it’s no wonder.’’

‘’You know a lot about magic, it’s a bit strange for someone who’s been homeschooled all his life.’’ Walburga gave him a questioning look, Orion elbowed her side gently, ‘’Come on now, he’s just been studying.’’

‘’It’s odd though.’’ She added.

‘’You think? I’ve always loved magic, and being homeschooled gave me the opportunity to self-study whatever I wanted.’’ If only that had been the case, but Harry did enjoy spending his time in the library after Hermione had forced him there the first couple of times. The books there were fascinating, but he had started looking into accidental and emotional magic more since he had come to this era.

‘’See, he’s just been a hard worker!’’

‘’A real Slytherin then, studying well. Unlike you.’’ Walburga glared at Orion, but there was no real power or anger behind the glare. Harry bit down the feeling of jealousy as he watched them laugh with each other.

A part of him wished he could have that with Tom.

Harry smiled to himself, seeing his friends happy would be enough for him.
‘’You alright, Harry?’’

Harry smiled at him, ‘’Just fine.’’

Walburga gave him a once over, ‘’How’s your mystery illness doing?’’

Harry shrugged, ‘’Not dead yet.’’

Orion glared playfully at him, ‘’‘Not yet? There will be no dying at all, thank you very much.’’

‘’What do you even have?’’ Walburga’s perceptive gaze didn’t leave him, and Harry felt uncomfortable under her stare. He averted his gaze.

‘’Don’t bother, he won’t tell us.’’ Harry smiled gratefully at Orion, Orion shot him a knowing look. Walburga hummed, ‘’Tom knows though, I’m sure of it.’’

Orion shot Harry a look, ‘’You think?’’ He asked, looking back at Walburga.

‘’You know something as well, don’t you Orion?’’

He shrugged, ‘’I don’t kiss and tell.’’ He laughed at the disgust on their face, ‘’Not literally!’’

‘’Yeah, sorry, I’d rather not.’’

‘’Me neither, no harm done buddy.’’

Walburga hid her smile behind her hand, trying to give Orion a stern look. ‘’What a crude thing to say in front of your fiancée.’’

Orion stuck his tongue out, avoiding the stinging hex Walburga wandlessly cast at him by a mere centimeter.

Harry laughed with them, his heart feeling alight. He was glad to have Orion’s support, even if he was a bit of a dunce.

Walburga was a nice addition, a smart brain to balance out Harry and Orion’s stupidity.

It felt like everything was going to be alright when he was with them like the situation at hand wasn’t really happening. He could forget it, for now, as his mind was filled with their laughter.

Tom had continued to visit as promised, and he snuck potions with him every time he came to visit Harry. Harry had no idea how he got them past Malinda, and he didn’t care to know. Tom always placed them down without a word, as if Harry didn’t know how long it took to brew those potions.

Harry knew that Tom brewed them all by himself, because he would never trust someone else to take care of his horcrux. Maybe that was why he had been visiting so often, too.

Sometimes Tom would stay for hours, and on other days he would only be there for thirty minutes, but he always came at the same time, like a routine.
He hadn’t missed a day, and Harry didn’t think he ever would.

Sleep was starting to become harder for Harry, he had to lay in certain positions that allowed him to breathe better, because the flowers in his lungs had taken up quite a lot of room.

Whenever he did sleep, it was filled with strange dreams.
The figure in his dreams had returned, the figure had a male build and was often sitting in a field of flowers.

He didn’t speak, but Harry enjoyed his presence even if it was in a dream world. The figure began coming closer with each dream, yet Harry wasn’t afraid.

Until one day, it did speak.

‘’You’re dying, aren’t you?’’ The voice wasn’t distorted at all, it was clear, and similar to a voice he recognized. Two voices, actually. Like a mix of both.

The voice was distinctively human, but Harry didn’t flinch away from it.

‘’I am.’’ For the first time, Harry could make out a face in the figure, the black smoke around the figure slowly becoming more transparent. It was indeed a man, with dark hair and a sharp jawline.

His skin was pale, almost inhumanely so. The red eyes to match were freaky, and it nearly reminded him of–

‘’..You’re Voldemort, aren’t you?’’

The figure laughed, becoming clearer. Harry could finally see him. He looked like Tom, but his skin was pale and his eyes were blood-red. He was thinner, but his magic shone with power. ‘’Not quite, not anymore.’’

At Harry’s confused expression, he elaborated. ‘’I’m the part of Voldemort's soul that got attached to you. I am no longer Voldemort, my soul has wrapped itself in yours. Your soul has been affecting mine.’’

‘’How does that work?’’

‘’I’m not sure, I’ve never heard of a human horcrux– not before you.’’

‘’Then how do you know our souls are intertwined?’’

Tom chuckled, ‘’Harry, we’ve been together for sixteen years. My soul has become yours, and yours has become mine. How else do you think you can speak Parseltongue?’’

Harry didn’t respond, and bit at his lip. ‘’Have you always been.. sentient?’’

Tom shrugged, ‘’I only exist in this world, in the corner of your mind. I don’t experience everything you do, as the part of my soul that was split was way too small for that. I’ve tried possessing you when you were a child, but my magic isn’t nearly as strong as it is in the main soul.’’

‘’So to answer your question, no. I know certain things, I can pick them up from a distance. But I can’t think, not really anyway.’’

‘’Are your other horcruxes the same? I know that the diary was sentient.’’

Tom hummed, ‘’It was? I’m not certain, I never opened it again after the ritual. I’ve kept them hidden. Until you destroyed them, that is.’’

‘’Aren’t you angry?’’ Harry winced.

‘’Why would I be? The main soul has turned foolish, I have no use for the likes of him. Though, I am disappointed to see how far we have fallen.’’

‘’He’s dead.’’ Harry whispers, afraid of Tom’s reaction.

‘’I know, I felt that long ago.’’

‘’Then why aren’t you resurrecting him? Not that I want you to, but–’’ Tom interrupted him with a wave of his hand, ‘’Without most of his soul, he has turned insane. I was planning to take over your soul, but my magic is too frail.’’

Harry frowned, ‘’But aren’t you his seventh horcrux? That means that your soul must’ve already been nearly gone.’’

Tom smiled, ‘’I don’t need mine, I live off of yours. Your magic, your emotions. It feeds me.’’

Harry grimaced, ‘’That’s creepy.’’

He shrugged. Tom lay down sighing as his back hit the flowers. Moondews, Harry realized.

Tom didn’t answer him anymore, so Harry shuffled and lay down next to him, basking in the fake sunlight.

When Harry woke up, he felt a lot better than he had in a while. He felt refreshed.
He gently touched his scar, ‘’Thank you..’’ He mumbled.

It took a moment, but he felt a gentle warmth underneath his scar.

Tom returned right after class, just as he had promised. This time, he had another book with him, and the cover looked very much like another fairytale book. Harry found it funny to think about how the Knights responded to Tom checking out fairytales in his free time.

‘’Good afternoon, Harry.’’

‘’Back already?’’ Harry greeted Tom with a smile. The weird flutter in Tom’s chest returned with vigor, but it was quickly pushed aside.

‘’Yes, I’ve come to take you for some fresh air.’’ He put the book down on Harry’s nightstand, happy to see that Harry had marked the other book halfway already.

Harry frowned, ‘’I’m not allowed, Malinda said I have to–’’ Tom held his hand up, ‘’I’ve got it covered.’’

‘’What did you do?’’ Tom chuckled at Harry’s baseless accusation, ‘’Nothing evil of the sort, just some guilt tripping.’’ At Harry’s increased frown, he adds, ‘’I’ve told her how you wished to go outside, and how much of a pity it would be for you to perish without seeing the outside again.’’

Harry’s head stung at Tom’s words, but he picked out the positive ones. ‘’Outside? So you’re actually going to take me?’’

Tom smiled, ‘’I never break my promises.’’

And that’s how Harry found himself standing outside in the fields, enjoying the fresh air on his face. It reminded him of his dream, but this time, he was accompanied by a younger version of Tom.

The man he loves.

‘’I missed this.’’ He said anyway. Tom smiled softly at him, the expression seemed foreign on his face. ‘’So I thought.’’

Harry laid down just as he had in his dream, taking in every glimpse he could get. He watched the sky, the beautiful cloud-filled sky, and the birds flying freely.

He wanted to touch those clouds, if only for one last time.

Tom looked at Harry with a strange expression on his face, but he slowly lowered himself down into the grass as well, muttering a quiet cleansing charm on himself. Harry chuckled, ‘’Really?’’

‘’Really.’’ Tom answered, ‘’It’s disgusting.’’

‘’And the chamber isn’t?’’ Tom didn’t reply immediately, and Harry opened his eyes to see that Tom looked quite offended, which only made him smile more. ‘’The chamber is sacred.’’

‘’It’s like a sewage.’’

Tom had half the mind to curse Harry for his ignorance, ‘’That is the resting place of my ancestors, including the basilisk.’’

Harry felt a twinge of guilt at the look of pride on Tom’s face. He wondered how Tom would react if he learned that Harry killed his beloved basilisk in the future.

‘’Have you always liked snakes?’’ Tom blinked, ‘’Pardon?’’

‘’Well you seem to love them a lot you know, you take great care of them and even in the future, you always have a snake.’’ Harry stuttered an explanation. Tom hummed with curiosity. ‘’I see.’’

He turned back to Harry, focusing his gaze fully on him. ‘’To answer your question, yes.’’ He wet his lips, his eyes searching into Harry’s as he spoke. ‘’As a child.. I, favored speaking to snakes. They are intelligent creatures.’’

Harry couldn’t tear his eyes away from Tom. Tom who was finally sharing a detail of his past with Harry on his own. He reveled in it, it felt powerful to have Tom stare at him in such a way. ‘’Have you ever had a pet snake then?’’

Tom smiled, lost in a memory, he took a moment to respond. ‘’Yes, I’ve had a few. Common snakes, at the orphanage. I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting any at Hogwarts, other than the basilisk.’’

‘’What about you, Harry?’’ Tom looked at him so intimately, with so much care, as if he was frail. There was something in those eyes, something that Harry didn’t know, but it didn’t scare him.

He knew that Tom would never love him, but his care made him happy, even if it was only for the horcrux inside Harry.

Harry smiled sadly, ‘’I had the most beautiful owl. Her name was Hewdig, she died in battle. A real fighter.’’ Tom hummed with practiced sympathy, ‘’I’m sorry to hear it.’’

‘’I’ve always wanted a dog though.’’ Tom grimaced, turning away from Harry. ‘’Not a fan of them?’’

‘’They are unruly, slobbering beasts. No, thank you. Snakes are cleaner.’’

Harry huffed, ‘’Snakes move around in the dirt.’’

‘’And dogs drool and pant like an animal in heat, utterly vile and hairy. And the smell is horrendous.’’

Harry scoffed, ‘’Sod off.’’

They stayed silent for a moment, staring at the sky. Harry hadn’t even noticed that he had closed his eyes, basking in the warmth of the sunlight.

He felt Tom nudge his arms, his eyes snapping open. He didn’t know why, but whenever it was Tom who woke him, he didn’t jump into battle mode. He had a problem with that ever since Sirius’ death, but it seemed that it didn’t apply when it came to Tom.

Maybe Harry’s magic had sensed Tom’s?

‘’Am I that boring to you?’’ He asked mockingly, but not offended.
‘’Totally.’’ Harry rolled his eyes, sitting up with a groan. Tom watched his every move, ‘’I’m not gonna break, you know.’’

Tom startled, a reminder of Harry’s upcoming fate. ‘’Yes, I realize.’’ He said sharply.

Harry hugged his knees, staring at a pair of birds flying freely around each other, dancing in the air.

Tom followed his gaze, his eyes landing on the same birds. ‘’Do you wish to join them?’’

‘’Huh?’’ Harry mumbled, turning back to Tom. Tom nearly rolled his eyes at Harry’s stupidity, ‘’Fly. Do you wish to fly?’’

Harry smiled sadly, ‘’I can’t.. if only I could.’’

‘’I can.’’

Harry sighed, ‘’Yeah, I know.’’ Tom glared at him, ‘’Are you that dense?’’

‘’What? What’s up with the sudden attitude change?’’ Tom sighed, realizing that Harry truly didn’t understand. ‘’Do you wish to go flying with me? I’ll keep you safe.’’

Harry’s eyes widened, ‘’But you hate flying..’’ He mumbled stupidly. Tom’s eyes sparkled with amusement, ‘’So I do. But you don’t. Call it a favor.’’

‘’And what do you want in return?’’ Tom didn’t answer him, and Harry didn’t think he was going to get an answer, so he let Tom grab his wrist and pull him to standing.

Tom held out his hand with a self-assured smirk, ‘’Accio broom.’’ It took a few moments, but a broom came flying out of nowhere towards them, and straight into Tom’s hand.

‘’Show off.’’ Harry grumbled.

Tom mounted the broom, ‘’Hold on tight. If you fall, I won’t catch you.’’

Harry refrained from making any snide remarks and walked to Tom’s back, but Tom grabbed his wrist and pulled him to the front, nearly making Harry stumble. ‘’You sit in front.’’

‘’But I–’’

‘’You wish to fly, not me. You aren’t going to make me do all the work, are you?’’ He cocked his head to the side, a sly smile on his face.

Harry huffed. He shouldn’t have expected any different from Tom. Maybe he was just really bad at flying, but Harry figured that Tom should at least have enough strength to hold the broom up for two people.

He mounted the broom in front of Tom, gripping tightly at the broom. It was one of the school-supplied brooms, and Harry would’ve preferred his firebolt, or a school-supplied broom from his own time, but it would do.

‘’Ready?’’

Harry grinned and looked back at Tom, ‘’Ready!’’ And with that, Tom kicked off and they were in the air. It was a strange feeling to sit on a broom with someone else pushing it forward, he could feel Tom’s magic pulsing under him in the hide of the wood.

Harry laughed as they soared up, letting go off the broom and holding his arms up. One of Tom’s hands shot out and brought them back to the broom, he couldn’t see Tom’s face, but he imagined that he was glaring at him. ‘’Honestly, do you wish to fall?’’

Harry glinstered, ‘’I’m a seeker, I’ve only fallen off my broom on purpose.’’ Tom grumbled behind him, letting go off Harry’s hand. Tom sat perfectly still on the broom, looking back down at the ground with distaste.

‘’You are mental.’’ Tom mumbled, keeping his legs as close to the broom as he could, while Harry swung his legs around like a child.

‘’I wanna dive!’’

‘’No.’’ Harry practically pouted, but Tom kept his stance. Harry looked back at him, shifting dangerously on the broom. ‘’Oh come on, I’m dying already, what’s the harm in a little dive?’’

Tom glared at him, ‘’I said no.’’

‘’Scaredy cat.’’

Tom took a deep breath, ‘’You are being a suicidal idiot, think for a moment. Have you ever dived on a broom with another person, not to mention you aren’t controlling the broom?’’

Harry frowned, ‘’I’m steering, you press the gas. Besides, how hard can it be?’’

Harry’s irrational thinking was going to give him a headache, it was so utterly Gryffindor of him. Disgusting.

Tom sighed and grabbed his wand out of his holster, holding his arm ready in the position for a levitation spell in case Harry would crash them. ‘’Fine, but I warned you. I won’t save you.’’

Harry chuckled, ‘’You’ll need to save yourself if you don’t hold on properly.’’ Tom’s hands immediately returned to the broom, still clutching at his wand.

Harry grinned at Tom’s perfect stature. He really was a scaredy cat, more than he would ever like to admit. He turned back around on the broom, facing forward.

‘’Ready?’’
‘’I should be asking you that.’’ Tom mumbled, ‘’Yes.’’ He added.

With that, the broom flew forward, and Harry tilted the broom upward first. Tom grimaced, realizing that Harry would try to go higher first before diving because their current height apparently wasn’t suicidal enough for him.

‘’That’s enough.’’ Tom had trouble speaking so high up, his voice coming out loudly.

‘’Just a little more, trust me!’’ Tom’s grip on the broom tightened, but he allowed his magic to flow through the broom, allowing Harry to use that magic.

They came to a halt far up in the clouds, and Tom finally took a moment to look around. He hadn’t been this high up before on his own. They were in the clouds, and his vision was hazy. His heart pounded in his chest, but it was a thrilling feeling. He got the same feeling from dark magic, whenever he performed a particularly nasty hex or one of the unforgiveables.

‘’Beautiful, isn’t it?’’ Mental, Tom decided that Harry was absolutely mental. He took a glimpse back down at the ground, his eyes immediately shooting up back to Harry’s back. He wasn’t doing that again, he felt nauseous just looking down.

How pathetic.

‘’Brace yourself!’’ Harry yelled, and Tom only had a moment to do so before they dived downwards. Tom closed his eyes, the sound of Harry’s laughter filling his ears as the wind roughly pushed past their faces.

Finally, he opened his eyes, his eyes widening as they neared the ground at an alarming speed. He had to strain himself not to stop his broom, and he let Harry take charge.

Just at the last second, Harry pulled the broom up and they flew back into the sky.

Harry’s heart was pounding in his chest, and he was smiling from ear to ear. ‘’Merlin, I missed that!’’

Tom couldn’t wait to get his feet back on solid ground.

‘’Can we go again!?’’ Tom grimaced, it was going to be a long day.

Tom had never been so grateful to have his legs on Hogwarts grounds again. They were both shaking, for different reasons. Harry was practically jumping with excitement while talking about how much fun that was.

And Tom was just happy to be back. This time, Tom lay down onto the grass voluntarily. His world was spinning. He groaned, he couldn’t even close his eyes without feeling sick.

Harry noticed it, of course he did, Tom cursed. ‘’You okay?’’

‘’As well as one can be, after being shaken like a salt shaker.’’

Harry huffed, ‘’It wasn’t that bad, drama queen. I used to stand on my broom and do dives, you know?’’

‘’It’s shocking that you’ve ever made it this far.’’

Harry gasped in mocked offense, his heart fluttering when he saw the small smile on Tom’s lips.

A part of him yearned to touch them again, to taste Tom against him. But Tom had given him enough, he had taken him flying, he had cared for him and he had spent time with him.

Even though he knew that his horcrux was dying, he was there. Every step of the way.

A small part of Harry imagined that Tom did love him, just in his own way.

But then, the flowers would’ve already cleared up, right?

‘’What’s on your mind?’’ Tom sat up on his elbows, staring at Harry’s frown. Had that not been enough?

Harry bit his lip, glancing towards Tom’s lips again. ‘’Can I.. be selfish?’’ Tom’s eyes widened, and he licked his lips. His heart thrummed, and he didn’t know what to call it. This feeling, of utter possession.

‘’Yes.’’ He whispered.

Harry sank to his knees next to Tom and cupped his face, his eyes watery. Harry had taken his glasses off, the tears making his eyes look more vibrant. Harry kissed him, and Tom allowed it.

He gasped, even though he had guessed what was coming. Harry stayed there motionless against him, pressing his lips against Tom’s. He was trembling, Tom realized.

Slowly, Tom kissed him back. Harry’s eyes snapped open, tears prickling at his eyes. Harry started moving too. Tom grabbed one of Harry’s hands off his face and intertwined their fingers, squeezing reassuringly.

Tom stiffened when he noticed that Harry was crying silently, but Harry didn’t pull away, so Tom didn’t either.

The kiss was intimate, and a lot more gentle than their first had been. Harry was overflown with emotions, happiness sparked out of him, woven with sadness. He was using Tom and his kindness, but he couldn’t stop. He didn’t want to. He didn’t want this moment to end, he didn’t want to return to normal.

He wished he could have Tom fully, that Tom would only belong to him, if only until he died.

He wished that Tom would love him back, but he wouldn’t change him for the world. Tom deserved to be happy too.

So Harry pulled away and broke the kiss, pressing one last kiss to the corner of Tom’s mouth. He was greedy, he realized. He didn’t want to let go of Tom, but he had to.

He had to respect that Tom didn’t love him.

Their faces were flushed, and Harry marveled at the look on Tom’s face. There was something swirling in his eyes, and Harry wanted that attention fully on him.

‘’Thank you..’’ Harry whispered, wiping his tears. Tom didn’t say anything, but Harry felt the gentle pressure on his hand, Tom squeezing it softly.

Chapter Text

Harry had been starting to feel worse for wear. He couldn’t duel without fainting, and even casting simple spells caused him headaches. It was all so much, he hadn’t realized how quickly he had been deteriorating.

The last thing he remembered was dueling with Orion, and in the next moment he was back in the matron’s office with people surrounding his bed. Three to be precise. Orion, Walburga, and Abraxas, much to Harry’s surprise.

It wasn’t that Harry hated Abraxas, but they weren’t exactly mates.

His head stung, where was Tom?

‘’He’s awake!’’ Orion yelled, Harry grimaced and touched his head, his scar thrumming gently under his hand. His headache was painful, slightly soothed by the warmth pulsing off of his scar.

Thank you, he thought.

Malinda came rushing over, tutting when she saw him clutching his head. ‘’Stay quiet, the lot of you, or I’ll throw you out.’’

She turned to her potions rack and searched for a moment before grabbing one. ‘’Here you go dear, for your headache.’’ Harry nodded mutely, staring at his friends with hazy eyes.

‘’I didn’t know you were that sick, Harry.’’ Harry shrugged at Abraxas’ words. It’s not like they were close enough for him to notice.

‘’You’ve ought to stop duelling in class, save your strength.’’ Walburga folded her hands in her lap. Orion grimaced, biting his lip.

‘’Yeah.. be more careful, won’t you?’’

Harry smiled apologetically, ‘’I’ll do my best. Sorry to scare you all.’’

‘’It’s not your fault..’’ Orion mumbles, ‘’You’re really alright?’’

‘’As alright as I can be.’’ Orion sighed, deep in contemplation. Harry couldn’t tell him, not yet. He couldn’t face anyone else, he didn’t want them to plead for his life, because if they would, he might change his mind.

He wouldn’t let that happen.

‘’You’ll feel better when you drink that potion.’’ Harry chuckled at Malinda’s insistence, wincing when it only made his headache worse. He usncrewed the cap with a little difficulty and drank the potion.

Satisfied to see that Harry had finished the potion, Malinda said, ‘’I’ll leave you to it. Harry, do send them away if you feel tired.’’ Harry smiled gratefully, ‘’Thank you, Malinda.’’ She left with a sad smile. Orion watched her leave, his fingers drumming against the wooden post of Harry’s bed.

He had an unreadable expression on his face. Harry grimaced. He wished that Orion would be more like his son sometimes and not notice these things.

To change the subject, Harry asked the question that had been on his mind since the start. ‘’Where’s Tom?’’ He blurted out. Walburga hid a knowing smile behind her hand, glancing knowingly at him. Harry didn’t bother to stick his tongue out, even if he normally would’ve. It felt like a waste of energy, god–he was turning into an old man.

‘’Not sure, he left right after you fainted. He came in to check in on you once while you were asleep, but he disappeared again.’’ Harry frowned. Tom was probably in the chamber of secrets doing who knows what.

‘’Don’t look too sad, people will start to suspect things.’’ Harry rolled his eyes at Walburga. He was dying anyway, they could gossip all they wanted after he was dead and buried, thank you very much.

‘’Shush.’’ Harry glanced over at Abraxas, who was awkwardly sitting there. Orion was the only one who wasn’t sitting, even though there was a chair open. He was tapping around with his fingers, seemingly deep in thought.

‘’Harry..’’ Harry’s attention snapped back to Abraxas, who looked at him with an expression he hadn’t expected to see on a Malfoy— bashfulness. ‘’If you need anything, my family and I can help. You’ve been..’’ He cleared his throat, feeling embarrassed at the stares. ‘’a good friend. So, just say the word.’’

Harry smiled, his heart beating warmly in his chest. ‘’Thank you, really.’’

When it came time to leave, Orion surprised them all by hugging Harry tightly, a bit too tight for comfort. Orion’s breath hitched when Harry wrapped his arms back around him, and he could feel Orion tremble slightly.

He didn’t know how, but he figured that Orion had found something out. A part of Harry wished he never had, but it felt good to have someone worry over him.

Harry’s stomach swirled. He was truly sick in the head to enjoy his friend worrying over him.

‘’Stay safe..’’ Orion whispered, squeezing Harry one last time before he let go. Walburga watched their interaction with an unreadable look on her face.

Tom came in the room not even five minutes after the others had left, and if you thought he had been waiting for the others to leave, then that wasn’t the case.

Tom sat down on the chair wordlessly, disappointed to see that Harry hadn’t noticed him yet. Harry had his eyes closed, dipping inbetween the world of slumber and consciousness.

A part of Tom wanted to wake Harry up and yell at him, to scold him and ask him what the hell he thought he was doing, but he didn’t.

He sat there, and he waited.

At one point, he got so tired of waiting that he grabbed the fairytale book Harry had just finished and flipped through the pages, grimacing at the little sticky notes that adorned the papers with Harry’s handwriting.

They described his favorite parts, along with a silly doodle of whatever was being pictured in the book. The more of the post notes Tom saw, the more he started flipping through the book to find more of them.

He heard the blankets shift, his eyes moving towards Harry’s sleeping figure once more. His sleeping, living and breathing horcrux.

He wanted to force Harry to take the surgery, he wanted to force him to make a horcrux of his own. He wanted to keep him, but he couldn’t.
A part of him didn’t want to see Harry mad at him, even if it was for the greater good. He really had considered it, truly, but what good would it be if Harry would make attempts on Tom’s life after he gave him mercy by giving him the surgery?

Harry slowly opened his eyes, blinking sleepily. ‘’Tom..?’’ He mumbled, his arm coming out to reach for his glasses, merely missing the night stand by a few centimeters. Tom leaned over and placed the glasses in Harry’s hands, who took it with a grateful smile. ‘’Thanks..’’ He mumbled.

Harry blinked, wiping the sleep away from his eyes. He looked at the clock and saw that it was long after visiting time, but Tom’s status as a prefect practically allowed him to do whatever he wished.

‘’How long have you been there?’’ Tom looked at the clock, frowning when he saw what time it was. ‘’Around an hour, don’t fret. I managed to entertain myself.’’ He said, holding the book up.

Harry hummed, ‘’Do you like reading fairytales?’’

‘’No, they are a waste of time.’’

Harry huffed, too tired to roll his eyes at Tom. ‘’You’re still reading it though.’’

‘’I’m merely skimming.’’ He said, finally closing the book and putting it on his lap.

Harry hummed, glancing at the book in Tom’s lap. ‘’Can you.. read to me?’’

‘’..Pardon? Why?’’

Harry chuckled at Tom’s expression, wincing at the pressure in his lungs. He shouldn’t have done that. ‘’You have a nice voice, and.. ‘m tired..’’ Harry mumbled, yawning on purpose to add to the effect.

Tom sighed and opened the book, flipping through the pages once more. ‘’Which chapter?’’

‘’Huh?’’ Harry blinked. Tom rolled his eyes, ‘’Which chapter do you wish for me to read?’’

‘’The Warlock’s Hairy Heart..’’ Harry mumbled, moving himself higher up in the bed and fluffing his pillow up so he could breathe easier.

Tom chuckled, ‘’Really? That one..’’

‘’Either read it or go awayyy.’’ Tom huffed and flipped through the pages until he found the correct chapter. It wasn’t a very long story, but Tom realized why someone like Harry would like it. So Tom started to read it, the words easily falling off of his tongue. His eyes drifted to Harry as he read, enraptured by the look on Harry’s face. He was blinking, barely holding on to consciousness and so focused on wanting to hear Tom read, yet he was smiling.

He had already taken off his glasses, and seemed to be ready to fall asleep any moment now. Tom’s heart thumped in his chest.

Harry frowned at him, ‘’Why’d you stop..?’’ He murmured, his words slurred as he spoke. Tom didn’t answer him and focused back on the page and restarted reading. When he glanced back up while flipping the page, he saw that Harry was already fast asleep.

Tom sighed and took a sip of water, his hands tracing the paper of the book he had been reading. He grabbed Harry’s bookmark and placed it in the book.

He’d have to finish reading it for Harry another time.

Tom left as quiet as a mouse, he slept well that night.

Harry dreamed of him again. He had been dreaming about Tom a lot more. It was a nice break from real life, and the pain was never as severe due to the dream’s influence. This time, they weren’t in the dreamworld flowerfield, but they were sitting on the Quidditch stands. Harry smiled at Tom, happy that his dream relieved some of the pressure he had been feeling all day.

‘’Why the Quidditch field?’’

‘’You love it here, don’t you?’’ Tom leaned against the railing. He held his hand out for Harry, pulling him up with ease. Harry wasn’t startled when Tom hugged him, but it was a strange sensation.

‘’Tom..?’’ Tom squeezed him gently in his arms, but he didn’t answer him. Tom leaned his head back slightly, placing his warm hand on Harry’s cheek. He leaned down to kiss Harry’s scar. Harry felt the pleasant thrumming in his head increase, a comforting warmth emitting from it that felt like a hug.

‘’You’re…’’ Harry tried to hug Tom back, but his hands phased through him. Harry’s heart thrummed in his chest, ‘’Are you alright..?’’

Tom hesitated to speak as if it took him energy to be there at all. ‘’I seem to be.. losing my strength. Do not fret, little lion.’’

‘’Will you be okay?’’ Harry mumbled, biting his lip. Tom chuckled, ‘’Why wouldn’t I be?’’

‘’You’ve never.. gone all transparent like that.’’

Tom smiled slyly, ‘’Whose magic do you think you used when you fainted in that duelling class of yours?’’

Harry froze, and his heart sank in his chest. ‘’I’m sorry! I didn’t know–’’ The finger on his lips silenced him, even though they would pass right through him if he tried to touch them.

‘’It’s alright.’’
Tom passed through him, walking towards one of the chairs in the tribune. ‘’Come.’’ He didn’t even have to tell him because Harry’s eyes followed him the moment he moved.

They stared at the sky for a moment, but Harry felt like there was something else on Tom’s mind.

‘’Harry..’’ He started, licking his lips. Harry looked at him with so much concern that it made his heart swell with an unknown feeling, ‘’I’m afraid we won’t be meeting again, not for a while..’’

Harry’s eyes widened, and on instinct, he tried to grab his hand, his heart lurching when he passed through Tom’s. ‘’Why..?’’

Tom exhaled, ‘’I’ve come to say goodbye. My magic has been.. deteriorating.’’

Harry blinked, ‘’Where are you going? Are you.. you’re not–not dying, are you?’’ Tom looked at him with a strange look in his eyes, his hand reaching for Harry’s. Harry still felt the sensation for a small moment, even as Tom’s hand passed through.

‘’Not until you do. But it’s most likely there won’t be anymore dreams.’’

‘’Oh..’’ Harry bit his lip. ‘’Will I see you again?’’

Tom smiled at him, a smile so gentle that he hadn’t ever received it from his Tom. He lifted his other hand, and Harry felt the warmth in his scar Tom’s hands passed through. ‘’I’ll be in here.’’

Harry shivered at the odd feeling, ‘’..I’ll miss you.’’

‘’I know.’’

Harry scooted as close to Tom as he could without going through him, looking at the transparant face. ‘’I love you.’’

His scar pulsed, ‘’..I’m sorry.’’

The dream abruptly ended as Harry woke up panting, the immediate pain in his chest returning. He did his best to stabilize himself to sit up in an attempt to breathe easier.

Counting his breaths, he was finally able to gather his bearings. He wiped the stray tears on his cheek, his magic pulsing weakly in his veins. He was so sick of it, sick of feeling sick.

He wanted it to end, he didn’t want to live like this. But he did want to live, more than anything.

Harry sighed and closed his eyes, his eyes stung with unshed tears, but that didn’t matter. All he wanted was to sleep again, to hope he found his way back to Tom.

It was pathetic really, the horcrux he had tried to get rid of for so long had managed to become his biggest comfort in all of this.

The horcrux Tom had been part of Voldemort, so Harry couldn’t excuse his feelings for it like he did with his Tom. Did Harry’s soul really have that much influence, or was Voldemort never really the monster he became?

Now that he had gotten to know Tom well, he wished he could’ve had a civil conversation with Voldemort to see where it all went wrong.

But he couldn’t do that anymore, so instead of asking, he wrote it down in his notebook. His magical signature leaked through the pages. Harry had charmed it so that only he and those he allowed to read it could.

‘’Accio paper..’’ His head pulsed, his magic attempting to burst through his veins as he tried to summon the stack of paper laying nearly out of reach. He grimaced as the rush of magic stopped, the papers finally falling on Harry’s lap.

‘’God..’’ He had to take a moment to catch his breath, his head was beginning to pound with the start of a headache, which was really annoying.

He couldn’t wait for Tom to get back.

Harry was starting to feel really horrible, not just because of his physical state, but at the disappointment he felt in his chest when he woke up again and saw Orion sitting next to him instead of Tom. He felt disgusted at himself for being so eager, and so disappointed to see his friend instead.

‘’Did you have a nice nap?’’ The guilt swarmed in his stomach, ‘’Yeah, just fine.’’ He groaned as he pulled himself up. Orion flicked his wrist and a cup of water appeared in his hands. He handed it to Harry with a small smile. ‘’Here you go, drink up.’’

‘’You sound like a mother.’’ He chuckled, his throat dry. The water was a nice and cold contrast, but the cold bit at the painful areas in his throat.

‘’If I were your mother, your hair would be a lot less messy.’’ Harry scoffed, rolling his eyes.

‘’Right you are, you pureblood.’’

‘’Half-blood.’’ Orion snided, but it didn’t have any actual malice anymore. Ever since he met Harry, Orion was becoming more lenient in his mindset towards half-bloods. Harry was the strongest half-blood he had ever met, he was even as strong as Tom even though Tom was a pureblood, or so Orion thought.

He was strong anyway, until he had gotten ill.

‘’Where’s Walburga?’’

Orion shrugged, ‘’Not sure, doing whatever smart people do.’’

‘’You’re not dumb.’’ Harry mumbled. He pulled his blankets further over himself. How long had it been since he had properly walked around the castle on his own?

He missed it.

‘’Not as smart as Walburga, or Tom for that matter. But I doubt anyone is, he’s super smart.’’ Orion didn’t fail to notice Harry’s smile at the mention of Tom’s name.

‘’Hey.. can I ask you something? You don’t have to answer but I..’’ Harry smiled reassuringly at him, ‘’Since when have I scolded you for asking something?’’

He huffed, ‘’Fine fine, but don’t get mad?’’

Harry frowned, ‘’You’d have to ask it first for me to know if I’ll get mad.’’ Orion chuckled, ‘’Right right, of course.’’

‘’Uh, so.. I’ve noticed–okay.. I’m just going to say it. Do you like Tom?’’ Harry’s heart thrummed in his chest, the flowers in his lungs tightening at the mention. ‘’It’s not an attack, just curiosity! I don’t mind I swear—and I won’t tell anyone!’’ That shook Harry out of his panic, laughing even more at Orion’s baffled expression when he started laughing.

Orion was so silly that it made his chest ache, he really needed a good laugh. ‘’Oh God, you’re hilarious.’’

‘’So..? That’s a no?’’

‘’It’s a yes.’’ Now Orion looked even more baffled, and Harry struggled to keep breathing normally while he laughed. ‘’Huh?? Then why– why are you so difficult? Why are you laughing if you like him?’’

Harry took a sip of water, trying to calm his breathing. ‘’You’re just, a great friend. Funny too.’’

‘’Great, thanks. That’s not what I asked.’’

Harry smiled softly, his heart full with warmth. ‘’You’re right though, I do like him.’’

‘’You should confess.’’

‘’What?’’ Harry mumbled.

‘’Yeah, y’know. Confess. He’ll be kind about it, probably. Not that I think he’ll reject you, but lots of girls confess to him, even some blokes. He’s always really kind about it though.’’

Harry chuckled darkly. If only Tom had been as kind to Harry as he had been to them. ‘’I already have.’’

Orion leaned forward in his seat, ‘’And you didn’t tell me?’’ He gasped dramatically, ‘’Fake friends, can’t trust them..’’ He wiped a fake tear away from his eyes. Harry’s heart stung at the dramatics, it reminded him of the twins and their antics.

‘’What did he say?’’

‘’He..’’ Harry couldn’t tell him the truth, he didn’t want to break the respect that Orion had for Tom. He couldn’t tell him how Tom had reacted to his feelings, to his fate. ‘’He rejected me.’’

‘’What!?’’ Harry flinched at the volume, and Orion quickly mumbled a sheepish apology. ‘’For real? I thought he would’ve said yes. He comes to visit everyday!’’

‘’When did you confess?’’

Harry closed his eyes, trying to remember the date or how long ago it was, but all the days were starting to meddle together for him. He could barely remember what month it was or what was currently going on. ‘’You remember when you gave me those chocolates?’’ Orion grimaced at the memory, ‘’Yeah..’’

‘’I did then.’’

‘’What did he say?’’ Harry bit his lip, trying to come up with a believable story.

‘’He.. said he didn’t return them. That was all, basically.’’

‘’Wow.’’ Orion mumbled. ‘’I can’t believe it.. I mean, he’s the one who went on months of crazy search to try and find out what illness you had, and he even risked quite a few things to find out..’’

‘’That’s what you do for a friend.’’ Harry mumbled. Orion snorted crassly, ‘’As if! He wouldn’t do that for any of us unless he had something to gain from it.’’

Harry raised an eyebrow at that, ‘’You seem to know him quite well. Better than most.’’

Orion shrugged, ‘’I think he secretly likes me, more than he does with the others anyway. He’s more.. lenient? Or maybe that’s because I’m friends with you, who knows.’’

Harry huffed, ‘’As if..’’

A sudden voice made them turn their heads. Tom was standing near the edge of the bed, his hands fidgeting in his pockets. ‘’Harry, Orion, good afternoon.’’

‘’How long have you been standing there?’’ Harry glared at him. Tom rolled his eyes at Harry, Orion’s eyes widened at the casual display. He hadn’t seen Tom act so.. casual before.

‘’About two sentences ago, where dear Orion said I apparently tolerate him.’’

‘’I said like!’’

Tom glared at him, Orion immediately fell silent much to Tom’s amusement. He glanced back at Harry, but he wasn’t glaring at Tom like Tom had expected.

It made his gut swirl with an uncertain feeling, ‘’You might be right. But not right enough for you to witness my private conversations, say goodbye so I can sit there now.’’ Orion huffed, sticking his tongue out at him. ‘’Do that again and I’ll cut it off.’’

Orion turned back to Harry, ‘’See, he’s more lenient. Totally friends.’’

‘’Orion.’’ Orion playfully glared at Tom, but he stood up. He leaned over to give Harry a hug, very aware of the other person currently glaring at him.

‘’Love you man, stay strong okay? I’ll see you again tomorrow after class.’’

Harry huffed, ‘’Who’s the gay one now?’’ He whispered. Orion pulled back from the hug and rolled his eyes, ‘’Blabla, say it back!’’

‘’I’ll tell Walburga.’’ Harry glared playfully at him. Tom rolled his eyes at the display and sat down in the chair where Orion had just sat.

‘’I don’t care, I’ll tell her myself too. Say it back or I won’t bring you a treacle tart tomorrow!’’

Harry stuck his tongue out at Orion, and Orion did it right back. ‘’Fine fine, love you too! Now go back to your fiancée before I tell on you.’’

‘’You two are ridiculous.’’ Tom said after Orion had finally left. It had taken the two long enough.

Harry ignored him, smiling at him. ‘’Hi.’’

‘’Hello?’’

‘’I’m glad you’re back.’’ Tom didn’t answer him, and Harry didn’t expect him to. He was already happy that Tom was back. Tom revealed a new fairytale book to him, ‘’I brought you a new one.’’

‘’Oh good, you’ll read to me again then?’’ He grinned.

‘’If I remember correctly, you have hands attached to your body.’’

‘’Yeah but I’m tireddd..’’

‘’You say that everyday. You’re going to tire my voice out.’’ Tom huffed, giving the book to Harry so he could examine it. Harry fluttered through the pages, excited to feel the steady thrum of magic seeping out of the pages.

‘’I love magic.’’ Tom didn’t comment on the fact that he changed the topic, he knew he’d be reading for Harry again the moment he picked up the book at the library.

‘’Does Orion visit often?’’

Harry hummed, ‘’Yup, every other day basically, sometimes daily. He even brings Walburga along with him. I think she’s finally starting to warm up to me.’’ He smiled happily.

‘’That’s good. The Black family is a useful ally to have, especially Walburga. She’s smart.’’

‘’You think?’’

‘’Better than Orion.’’

Harry rolled his eyes, ‘’And most of your followers.’’

‘’They’re not all idiots. And their connections are useful.’’

‘’You should go into politics.’’ Harry mumbled, tracing the magical signature on the pages of the book.

‘’Politics? That’ll take ages.’’

‘’You’re immortal anyway. And it’ll be a lot less work than starting a war.’’ Harry said pointedly. ‘’Think of it, won’t you?’’

‘’Would that make you happy?’’

‘’You need to do it because it’ll make you happy, not me.’’

Tom frowned, ‘’But would it though?’’

‘’Yes, I think you’d be great. You’re bloody brilliant. You’ve always wanted to change the world. Make sure no one grows up like we did.’’

Tom startled, glaring at the wall behind Harry as the memories resurfaced. ‘’Not with dark magic. With laws, Tom. No killing.’’

Tom huffed, ‘’Scold me if I do go into politics, not now. You can be my advisor if you so wish. That way you can save your precious mudbl—muggleborns, from me.’’ Harry smiled, reaching out to grab Tom’s hand and squeezing it gently.

‘’Thank you.’’

‘’For what?’’ He squeezed back.

‘’Everything.’’

‘’You’re insane, you know that?’’

Harry smiled, ‘’Yeah yeah, now go read already before I fall asleep.’’

‘’You’re a terrible host, forcing your guest to do all these things for you.’’ He complained, and yet he grabbed the book back from Harry, quickly pre-reading the first page so he could start reading.

‘’Whatever you say.’’

Tom’s smile didn’t go unnoticed by Harry, who grinned happily.

Tom’s voice had always been a source of comfort for Harry, and he could feel himself being gently pulled into a blanket of slumber. He didn’t want to fall asleep yet, he didn’t want Tom to leave him.

‘’Then the pair, a werewolf and a human, continued their path towards the forest–’’ Harry tried to keep his eyes open, he swore he could see Tom smile at him. ‘’You should go to sleep, Harry.’’

‘’But you’ll leave.’’ He whispered, sleepily reaching his arm out to try and touch Tom. Tom sighed and closed the book, letting Harry take his hand. ‘’I’ll come back tomorrow. It’s almost time for dinner regardless. Sleep, and when you wake up, it’ll almost be time for me to return.’’

‘’Promise?’’ Tom sighed, smiling at him, ‘’Have I ever skipped a day?’’

‘’Fine, fine..’’ Harry grumbled, letting go of Tom’s hand.

Tom stood up with a sigh, stretching his legs, which ached after sitting so long. ‘’Goodnight, Harry.’’

‘’I’ll see you later, Tom.’’ Harry’s scar pulsed warmly, and Harry rubbed at it affectionately which got a weird look from Tom. He nodded anyway, waving him goodbye.

He found it harder and harder to leave Harry, but he still had a status to maintain. He honestly wasn’t sure why he was still visiting Harry. Harry was his horcrux, and his horcrux was dying on his own free will, so there wasn’t any reason for Tom to stick around anymore.
Technically, Harry had no use to him. But Harry saw him for who he was, and he loved him. He loved him after he had seen his every side, even how bad he could turn out in the future, and yet he loved him.

Maybe that’s why Tom stuck around, because no one had ever truly loved him as Harry does. Harry’s special in that regard.

There was an uncomfortable feeling settling in his stomach as he sat down in his seat for dinner, ‘’Good evening, everyone.’’ The Slytherins greeted him in kind, happy to see him return.

‘’My lord, where have you been?’’ Lestrange asked him, Tom had to resist the urge to roll his eyes, reminding himself not to be so crass and carefree. ‘’I don’t remember my whereabouts being any of your business, Lestrange.’’

Lestrange startled, focusing back on his plate. ‘’I’m sorry, my Lord. We’ve all just been curious since you’ve been so busy recently.’’

Orion gave Tom a knowing look from his corner of the table, and he was sure that Walburga was also looking at him from wherever the witch was sitting. ‘’Studying for my N.E.W.T.s, unless you had all forgotten about our upcoming exams?’’

The table fell silent. ‘’You had best not disappoint the house of Slytherin. I expect good results from you all, you are Slytherins and capable of doing great things, otherwise, you would’ve been sorted elsewhere. I expect nothing but greatness from all of you.’’

Tom huffed. He took a bite of his food, the house elves putting the foods he liked close to him. It seemed that Harry had been right once more, befriending the house-elves had their benefits.

‘’Aww, no fair! Tom, pass me the chicken!’’

‘’Grab it from the other side of the table, Orion.’’

Tom felt a gentle nudge at his side, seeing Malfoy smile at him. ‘’It’s just chicken, share with poor Orion. The Black family isn’t what it used to be.’’ He grinned playfully at Orion, who stuck his tongue out at him.

‘’Don’t do that, Abraxas.’’ He scolded him, but he finally relented and handed Orion the plate of chicken.

He took another bite of his food, but he got hit with a head splitting headache. He dropped his fork, clutching at his head. His stomach swirled with unease.

‘’Tom!?’’

‘’My lord?’’

He could feel a warm hand on his arm, it only made him feel sicker. What the hell was going on? He gagged, his food coming up. ‘’Bathroom, bye.’’ He barely had the time to let the words rush off his tongue before he got up, walking towards the bathroom at a quick pace.

He could hear whispered murmurs from behind him as he walked towards the door.

‘’Should we follow him?’’ He heard Orion ask, and he heard what sounded like Malfoy answer, ‘’Don’t, he’ll want to be alone if he’s sick.’’

‘’I hope we don’t get infected.’’ He didn’t bother to pick out whose voice it was, probably one of his useless lackeys. He started jogging towards the bathroom as soon as he left the Great Hall, making it just in time to empty his stomach in the toilet. He gasped for air, nausea swarming his head.

‘’Merlin..’’ He flushed the toilet and stood up on shaky legs, walking over to the sink. He rinsed his mouth, tapping it dry with his handkerchief. He glanced at his reflection, his hand reaching to touch just under his eye.

His eyes were red, which usually only happened when he had just created a horcrux or if he was angry with someone.

Red, red.. why were they red?
Why did his damn head hurt so bad?

It felt like he was being split apart, it almost felt.. it almost felt like making a horcrux, but different.

He could feel the horcrux in his ring thrum against his finger. He twisted the ring in his hand, trying to focus on the connection he felt with the diary.

He located it fairly quickly in the castle, hiding in it’s usual position.

Tom gagged at the implication, rinsing his mouth again with shaky hands. He wiped at his mouth.

It couldn’t be, he had just seen Harry an hour prior. He couldn’t be, could he?

Tom didn’t know when he started running, but he was.

‘’No running in the halls!’’ A painting or maybe even a ghost yelled, but he didn’t care to listen. He barged into the matron’s office, not even bothering to knock.

The air was thrown out of his lungs. The school Matron was leaning into the headmaster, crying silently as they stood near Harry’s bed.

Surely.. it couldn’t..

At the commotion, the two separated and looked at Tom. Malinda’s eyes widened as she saw him, glancing back at what was hiding behind the curtain and back at Tom.

‘’Oh, my boy.. Tom, come here.’’ Tears rolled off of her cheeks as she ushered him towards her, shielding his view from what was behind the curtain. She wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly.

‘’I’m so sorry, I’m sorry–he’s gone. He’s gone. I’m sorry for being so unprofessional–Merlin–’’ Tom stopped listening, the words repeating in his head.

He’s gone He’s gone He’s gone He’s gone He’s gone He’s gone He’s gone He’s gone He’s gone He’s gone He’s gone He’s gone He’s gone He’s gone..

Tom chuckled, his throat burned with the familiar ache after he had puked.

‘’You.. are you serious?’’

Gone, Harry Potter, he was gone.

He’s gone He’s gone He’s gone He’s gone He’s gone—

Malinda kissed his cheek, the warmth pulling him out of his spiralling thoughts. ‘’It’s okay, it’s okay. We knew. Come, sit please.’’

‘’I.. I wanna see him.’’

Malinda wiped her tears away, smiling softly at him. ‘’Are you sure?’’

‘’Yes–yes, please.’’

Headmaster Dippet refused to meet his eyes, and he let his hate out on him. He glared fully at him, so much so that he hadn’t even noticed the professor standing next to him. His gut churned with hate at the sight of Professor Dumbledore.

What was that old hag doing here? That good for nothing plague—

‘’Here, don’t feel embarrassed if you need a moment, okay dear?’’

His eyes widened when he saw Harry, his eyes drinking in the sight. Harry was laying in the same position where Tom had left, his mouth was perfectly closed. Tom expected to see the rise of his chest, but there was none. There was no smile when he walked in, no greeting. His eyes were closed, probably for the best.

It looked as if he was sleeping, and Tom had the urge to shake him and demand Harry to wake up. To tell him to stop joking like that.

He didn’t want to see this, he didn’t want to touch Harry. He didn’t want to feel Harry’s lifeless body, to touch that cold, lifeless body that once carried both of their souls.
He wondered if Harry was in pain when he died..

Behind him, he heard Malinda being comforted by the headmaster, and he could feel the disgusting eyes of professor Dumbledore on him.

‘’Tom, my boy..’’

‘’Don’t.’’ He didn’t want to pretend, not today. He couldn’t pretend not to hate his guts, he was angry. Tom was so angry that he was shaking.

He had lost Harry to incompetence. If the powerful wizards had tried harder, maybe they could’ve found a cure. Maybe if Dumbledore got off of his ass and fought Grindewald earlier, maybe if he actually did something with his life instead of teaching at some school, he would’ve found a cure for Harry’s illness.

He felt sick when he felt Malinda’s hands on Harry. She hadn’t tried nearly hard enough to save Harry, how dare she touch him.

She tussled with his hair, ‘’I hope he was comfortable..’’ She whispered.

He hoped she died. He hoped they all died, they didn’t get it.

He flinched when a warm, disgustingly large hand was on his shoulder. ‘’Dear boy, we have to ask, were you the one he loved?’’

Malinda seemed just as surprised by the question as Tom was, so this was obviously why Dumbledore had meddled himself with the situation. Always trying to blame Tom for something.

‘’Yes.’’ He hissed, the word nearly slipping into parseltongue. He stepped back, letting Dumbledore’s hand slip off of his shoulder.

He felt so empty when he looked at Harry, that extra part of his soul was missing. Harry was missing.

He was gone. He’d never get to be scolded again, he’d never get Harry as his personal advisor.

Oh, Merlin, he left earlier than usual today. He left him, Harry had asked him to stay, and Tom had left.

The growing feeling of nausea didn’t leave him, he felt so sick.

Either the room was shaking, or he was.

Maybe it was both, because he could hear something explode in the distance. Magic was seeping out of his body, leaking out of his every pore.

‘’Tom, calm down–’’

‘’Don’t touch me!’’ The tea kettle exploded next, ‘’Don’t..’’

‘’You’ve got to control yourself, son. We understand that you’re upset and mourning–’’

‘’You don’t know anything! Quiet, you pest!’’ He wanted them all to choke, he wanted to watch the blood pop out of every one of their pores, he wanted to watch the blood leak out of their eyes–

Then he saw Dumbledore reach for Harry, and he exploded. He could hear something loudly crash behind him, he was starting to feel lightheaded. ‘’Get off him! Don’t touch him!’’ Dumbledore was pushed backwards with a strong gust of magic, barely being able to stand straight on his feet.

‘’Don’t you fucking touch him!’’ Malinda pulled her hand back from Harry, glancing worriedly between Tom and her husband.

‘’Tom, listen to me–’’

‘’No! You let him die! I won’t listen–’’

‘’It was his own choice, you know that better than anyone!’’ All that Tom heard was excuses and the fact that Tom himself couldn’t change Harry’s mind either. That he himself was a part of the problem. That made him even angrier.

He hadn’t felt so emotional in his life.
Over a half-blooded, idiotic, time-travelling orphan.

He laughed darkly at their scared faces, glaring at Dumbledore when the man pulled his wand out. ‘’Tom, I’m warning you. Stop this madness. You are shaken with grief and we understand–’’

‘’You?’’ He chuckled, smiling widely. ‘’You, you of all people. You understand?’’ Dumbledore didn’t have time to respond before Tom’s smile turned into a snarl, ‘’You don’t! You never have!’’

‘’Incarcerous!’’ Before he had the time to react, ropes bound themselves around his ankles and wrists. His mind swirled, his headache coming back in full force. He looked back at the culprit to see Malinda’s tear-stricken eyes glancing at him.

Dumbledore took a potion out of Malinda’s hand, and Tom realized belatedly that it looked like a calming draught. He struggled against his bounds as Dumbledore came closer, falling to the ground. ‘’Don’t you–!’’ The cork was unscrewed and the bottle was pressed against his mouth.

He didn’t trust Dumbledore, what if the man added anything else to the potion? Tom didn’t need a potion, he wasn’t crazy. He was perfectly rational, he was being perfectly rational.
The potion was forced through his mouth, and some type of magic force forced him to swallow the liquid down, the rest spilling down the sides of his mouth and on top of his now crumbled robes.

Within a few moments, he feels an emptiness fall over his mind, his emotions pushed through the back of his mind. Finally, his logic returned to him.

He opened his eyes to see Dumbledore stepping away from him, and Tom eyed him with distaste. His reputation is probably ruined now due to his temper tantrum, he realized dryly.

Harry was dead, so what did it matter now?
He could become a dark wizard, because politics didn’t matter when the only person who you’d do that for was gone.

Still, an apology fell out of his lips. ‘’I’m.. sorry.’’ He didn’t know if he truly meant it or if it was out of habit. Malinda ushered over to him, releasing his bounds.

‘’I’m so sorry boy, I didn’t mean too. I hope you’re not hurt.’’ Tom shook his head, he didn’t feel like talking. Not to the likes of them.

He wanted to be alone. He glanced over at Harry, the feeling of his emotions swarming in the back of his mind that tried to push themselves back to the front.

His nausea had finally settled, which was the only thing about that creature forcing the potion down his throat.

‘’I’m fine, I’m sorry. It was just so.. shocking. He was my bestfriend.’’ He heard Dumbledore’s annoying voice whisper something to the headmaster, but the headmaster seemed headset on the issue, much to Dumbledore’s annoyance.

‘’I won’t punish him for acting in grief! He’s only a boy.’’ He could hear the headmaster whisper. Malinda heard it too, because she raised her head and glared at Dumbledore. ‘’Don’t you dare.’’

‘’He’s different, you’d understand if you–’’

‘’Dumbledore.’’ Malinda said harshly, and Tom had to stop the beginning of the smirk forming on his face, ‘’Don’t insist that he’s evil. A child cannot be evil, they are raised evil. Get out of my office, if you’d please. I’m busy with my patient.’’

‘’He’s not one of your patients–’’

‘’He is under distress and that means he is currently my patient. Now if you would, please leave. We’ve got everything under control, right honey?’’ She looked back at her husband— who was apparently the headmaster— Tom noted.

He hadn’t realized the two were married.

‘’Right you are, dear. Albus, it’d be best if you left. Could you inform the other teachers of the.. situation?’’

Dumbledore sighed, ‘’Yes, very well. But realize the mistake you are making.’’

‘’Goodnight, Albus.’’ Malinda said coldly. Tom huffed, his shoulders sagging when Dumbledore left. Malinda noticed, smiling softly at him.

‘’Dear, I have something for you.’’ She helped him stand up. Even though the potion had calmed him down, he was still shaking. Probably from the overuse of accidental and wandless magic.

‘’What is is it?’’ He mumbled, his eyes staying stuck on Harry’s face. He couldn’t bear to look away.

Malinda walked over to the nightstand next to Harry’s bed, and finally, Tom tore his eyes away. He saw the familiar notebook in Malinda’s hands along with five envelopes.

‘’Is.. that?’’

‘’There’s one for you, and the notebook too.’’ Tom’s envelope was notably smaller than the rest, but he clutched the envelope and the notebook to his chest anyway.

He glanced at the other letters in her hands, seeing the names Orion, Walburga, Abraxas, and Malinda on the cover written in Harry’s chicken scratch of handwriting.

He didn’t want to open his letter in front of them. He was, scared. Scared to see what Harry had written for him.

What if it revealed something that he didn’t want to anyone to know?

‘’I’ll..--thank you. Can I.. leave?’’

‘’Of course, dear, take care of yourself. You can take a few days off class if you so need.’’ Malinda didn’t need to turn around and look at her husband to ask if that would be alright, because she truly didn’t care about his opinion. The boy needed to grieve.

‘’Thank you, madam.’’ He turned around to leave, but a warm hand reached his shoulder before he could walk much further. ‘’Please, don’t be afraid to come and see me if you need me.’’

Tom didn’t say anything, only briefly looking back at her before continuing to walk out the door. Malinda watched him leave with a heavy heart, the other letters in her hand feeling disgustingly heavy. She didn’t know if she had the heart to open hers, but it would be a disrespect to Harry to not read what he had written for her.

‘’Come hun, let’s sit.’’ Dippet pulled her to her quarters and helped her sit on the couch. She thanked him with an empty smile and reached for the letter opener on her coffee table. She sighed as she took in her surroundings. They were sitting on the same couch as she had sat on with Harry two months prior.

With shaky hands, she took the letter and unfolded it, Harry’s familiar handwriting greeting her. She could feel his magic waved into the pages. She closed her eyes and let his magic wave over her, tracing the page with her nimble hands.

Finally, she gathered the courage to read the letter.

Dear Malinda,

Tears welled in her eyes, but she continued onwards.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all the trouble I have caused you, and thank you so much for all the great care you’ve given me even though I’ve constantly been in your hair. You’ve shown me so much kindness, and I hope this shows even an inch of my gratitude for you.

Please don’t cry too much, you don’t deserve to feel sad. Thank you for all you’ve given me, you’re a wonderful person.

I wish I could’ve heard the stories of your husband and spend more time with you,

The pang of guilt that shot through her chest hurt so terribly.

but I guess that the flowers didn’t want me to hear how much better I am than your husband.

She huffed through her small tears, leaning into her husband who was softly rubbing her back.

Really though, I am grateful to everyone, especially you. And I’m glad you’ve been with me through it all. I don’t think I could’ve survived without you (not that I did in the end.. haha? Not your fault!!)

I’m sorry to be asking for a favor after you’ve done so much for me already, but could you keep an eye on my friends for me? Orion Black, Walburga Black, Abraxas Malfoy and Tom Riddle. They’ve been at my side the entire time and I couldn’t have done it without them.

Can you just.. pull them in for a moment and work your amazing magic on them? Maybe share chocolate with them? Especially Orion, maybe even Abraxas. They’re actually really emotional people (Walburga prefers purple grapes!!)

And Tom.. well you’ve probably guessed, but he’s the person I am (or was, since I’m already dead when you read this. Wow, that’s weird..) in love with. Weird, isn’t it?

She wiped her tears. She didn’t think it was weird at all, the boy obviously cared for Harry in his own way, even if he wasn’t the prefect he pretended to be.

He’s an absolute prick, an arse and a complete narc on somedays on other days he’s so thoughtful and he’s super smart. I bet he’ll do great things if he puts his mind to it!!
I didn’t want to tell you, but I feel like you deserve to know. I mean, you’ve done so much for me.

But I’m getting off-topic here, but I tend to do that a lot so I guess you’re already used to it. I’m sorry, I wanted the letter to be much more, but my words are failing me.

You’ve been a better family to me than my actual family has ever been, and I’m sorry to give you that burden, but I love you. I love you for all you’ve done for me, and I can’t thank you enough.

I’m sorry, and I’ll miss you and your warm hugs.
With love,

Harry Potter

He signed the letter off with a scribble and a badly drawn heart.
Malinda started sobbing against her husband.

‘’I love you too, Harry..’’ She cried and cried until she couldn’t anymore, shushed to sleep by her loving husband.

Tom hadn’t left the chamber of secrets in two days, he hadn’t even touched the letter nor the notebook attached to it. He could feel Harry’s magic pulse off of the pages even from a distance.

He didn’t want to admit it, he didn’t want to see it.

He could hear the basilisk move about the chamber, coming to a halt at the couch that Tom was sitting on.

‘’Master?’’ The basilisk was as beautiful as ever, and her presence filled Tom with a semblance of calmness.

‘’Hello, beautiful. What is it?’’

‘’Master needs to eat. Master upset?’’

‘’I’m not hungry, dear.’’ The basilisk hissed at him when he didn’t answer her second question. He looked over at her, looking right into her beautiful serpent eyes.
The petrification never worked on him as he was an ancestor of Salazar Slytherin, so whenever he looked into her eyes he felt a strange sense of glee.

Today, there was no such glee.

The basilisk nudged a pile of mice towards the couch, her tongue slipping out her mouth as she spoke. ‘’Eat.’’

He did his best to hide his disgust, ‘’No, thank you.’’

She hissed at him, grumbling something about how ungrateful he was as she disappeared back further into the chamber. Normally he would’ve scolded her for such language, but he really didn’t feel like dealing with the sassy creature today.

The letter silently called his attention back to it, with hasty movement he stood up, his vision turning black for a moment until he stabilized himself.

His magic was running low due to the lack of food and sleep. He’d need to return to classes soon before someone would suspect he cared for the boy much more than he had let on, and there was so much left to do. He still had to make an excuse–

The letter flew into his hand, the notebook gently smacking against his chest. Tom scoffed, Harry must’ve forespelled something like this happening and charmed the damn thing.

Tom sighed and sat back down on the couch, playing with the flap of the letter. What had he even been doing the past two days?

Sitting here and staring at the wall, ignoring everything and everyone. Ignoring everything he had taught himself.

There would be so much to fix, and followers to put back in line. He could only hope that Abraxas had picked up after Tom had left the Great Hall.

Tom sighed and decided to bite the bullet, he ripped the letter off of the notebook and decided to start with that first. As soon as he properly touched it, the letter flew out of the envelope. Tom grabbed it, frowning when he saw that it was only one page.

Hi Tom,

If Harry was still alive, he’d be getting scolded for his horrible handwriting and getting lessons on how to start a letter properly.

I have no idea how to start this letter, so I’ll just keep writing until something remotely useful comes out and you better read all of it because I’ve charmed this damn letter, and only if you read it all then it’ll reveal something to you.

Now his interest was piqued, though he was annoyed at being reprimanded. As if he wouldn’t read the letter.

Trust me, you’ll want to see it. Or, I think you will.
Just read it okay??

Tom chuckled dryly. It wasn’t funny at all, but a small part of Tom found it amusing at how much Harry managed to derail his conversations, even in a letter.

A letter that he could’ve pre-written.

‘’Start saying something useful then..’’ Tom whispered. He didn’t know who he was talking to, but the words lay heavy on his tongue, practically forcing themselves out of his mouth.

You are an absolute prick, yes I know I’ve said it probably a million times before but I really need you to read me out (hear me out, get it? Are you laughing? Probably not, you’re boring.)

Tom sighed and continued reading.

Out of all people, I never expected myself to fall in love with someone like you. You’re evil. You hate muggles and muggleborns, you are unnecessarily cruel and crucio people for fun, yet you’re kind. Kind to me.

That sounds absolutely batshit but hear me out, you give me complete whiplash. I don’t know how you can be such an arse one moment and I want to choke you out, and the next moment you’re super thoughtful and you take me flying?

It’s kind of funny to imagine a big dark lord reading me a bedtime story, and yet you did.
I don’t think you’re meant to be a dark lord, Tom. It doesn’t suit you, that big evil guy in a pair of robes without a nose (you’ll know what I mean later) you’re better.

You’re an absolute arse, yet you are the smartest arse I’ve ever met. You are bloody brilliant at everything you do, and I’ll be damned if you go and become a dark evil wizard in silly robes later on and let your life go to hell.

Tom huffed, pushing down the small swirl of affection in his gut at the words. ‘’What a poet..’’

You’d make a great teacher, or like I said, a politician. You’d be a great minister if you dropped all your casual bloodpurist ideas!! (reminder, you’re a half-blood.)

You can rule the world even as a politician, and isn’t it way more fun to manipulate people into voting for you than killing them into fearing you? You’ll be loved and worshipped instead of feared, and that brings way more loyalty. (Merlin I can’t believe I suggested you manipulate people, but you’d do it for the greater good!!)

Make a better world, a world orphans like us could thrive in.

I don’t know why I fell in love with you Tom, yet I did. And I don’t regret it. I don’t think I ever will. Dying is scary, but I’m glad you were there every step of the way. I can’t thank you enough.

I don’t think I’ve been grateful enough to you yet, the only thing I’ve really done so far has been insulting you. So, thank you.

Thank you for everything you’ve done for me these past months. From making potions for me to making my homework and spending time with me. You even went flying with me when you hate flying (scaredy cat)

I love you Tom, but I don’t want you to turn into the same person Voldemort did. I struggled with it, but I decided to gift you some of my past memories. It was hard to sit through them and compile them, so please watch them carefully and think on it.

Please promise me?

A vial started to appear inside the envelope, gently floating itself towards Tom.

Harry’s memories.. He’d use the pensieve stored in the chamber library to witness it.

Now that you know about the memories, you’re probably wondering what the notebook is for. Well, at first I used it as a sort of diary (I would say it’s embarrassing, but you have one too!)

Of course Harry knew that, but it still surprised Tom.

But then I started writing whenever something came to mind. I wrote you some notes for future things like your graduation or when you become a minister!! (or whatever you do really, don’t feel forced to become one. Just do as you like and what has even the slightest amount of morals)

Oh and by the way, did you know that your horcruxes are sentient?

Tom frowned, he hadn’t known that.

Back in my second year I spoke to your diary before I destroyed it. He must’ve been so lonely, please talk to him from time to time and tell him what’s going on in the world!

The horcrux in my scar was sort of sentient too, but I only realized that a few weeks ago. I met him in a dream, he’s really handsome. You look good when you grow up, but I’m sure someone with your ego didn’t need to hear (read) that.

He was very kind to me, he said my soul mingled with his (yours) in some weird way. I don’t really get it, but it’s been really comforting.

Tom hummed, frowning when he noticed that the letter was nearly coming to an end. He didn’t want it to end, he didn’t want Harry’s presence to leave him. Harry’s magic had slowly been seeping out of the pages as he read. He silently wanted to capture it and keep it, but magic wasnt something physical.

I don’t think I’ve ever loved someone as much as I love you, but I hope you can find happiness in your life. Even if that’s with someone else, even if that’s no one else. Voldemort never dated anyone as far as I know, but you deserve to. Whatever you do, just be happy.

I love you Tom,

Never forget that.

Always yours,
Harry.

Tom shook as the last traces of Harry’s magic flowing through him. He stumbled as he stood up, his legs feeling unsteady and shaky as he made his way to the chamber library. If he remembered correctly, which he usually did, there should be a pensieve here.

The library was probably the cleanest place in the chamber, as Tom came here the most out of all the corners. Still, it had been a while since he had properly visited the chamber library because he was juggling his time between Harry and his followers.

He bit at his lip, thinking of Harry brought back so many questions. He had loved Tom so much that he died, and all he had wanted in his last moment was to spend time with him. And Tom had rejected that.

He had– Tom sighed, it wasn’t the time to dwell on the past. That was pathetic, especially over someone like Harry.

He had to see his memories. The future was important, he had to see if Harry had been right. A part of him reminded him that the memories could’ve been tampered with, but Harry wasn’t nearly skilled enough at occlumency to do that.

And he wouldn’t have done that, Harry isn’t—wasn’t like that.

After moving a few books he had left hastily on the tables, he finally made his way to the pensieve. He hadn’t used one before, and he wasn’t completely sure how to properly use it. He knew the theory of him, but a part of him was worried that it might go wrong and that the memories would be lost forever.

‘’Here it goes..’’ He unscrewed the cork of the vial, swishing it around in its container. He poured the memory down into the pensieve, watching as the color in the pensieve changed and a blue light emitted itself out of the cauldron.

He took a step closer, hesitant to lean into the pensieve. It took him a few moments, but he eventually put his head down into the pensieve. It was a weird feeling, his soul was transported elsewhere while his body remained hanging onto the pensieve.

He was transparent, and in some sort of weird room with a mirror. It took a moment for the memory to load in, a smaller child with round glasses and that familiar scar came walking through the doors.

‘’Harry..’’ He whispered. Tom only now noticed the man standing by the mirror, wearing fancy robes with a purple turban on his head.

‘’You!’’ The child-like version of Harry yelled with a shocked expression on his face. He was skinny, incredibly so, Tom noted.

The man smiled, a cold and chilling expression dancing on his face. ‘’Me.’’

The man explained how it hadn’t been a man called ‘Snape’ who had tried to kill Harry, but him instead. He said this in a conversational tone as if it was the most normal thing in the world. It disgusted Tom.

But what did this man have to do with Voldemort? He didn’t look like Tom, nor did he have no nose as Harry often described Tom’s future self.

Harry rubbed at his scar, wincing in pain as the man continued to talk.

‘’He doesn’t understand, I’m never alone..’’ The man muttered, glancing back into the mirror.

Why was Harry experiencing pain in his scar? Was Voldemort nearby, or was the memory sensing Tom?

He almost scoffed at his own thoughts, a memory couldn’t sense a person watching them.

‘’Now, what does this mirror do?’’ That’s something Tom was also curious to know. ‘’I see myself holding the stone, but how do I get it!?’’

Then, a nasal and cold voice sounded throughout the room. ‘’Use the boy.’’ Tom felt chills crawl up his spine, and it seemed the child version of Harry felt the same way.

‘’Come here, Potter!’’ The man Tom now knew as Professor Quirrel yelled. Harry flinched, slowly walking towards the man. Tom followed them closely behind, positioning himself just on Harry’s right side.

Something felt off about being so close to the Professor. Even throughout the memory, Tom could feel a pulse coming from the man.

Was this man also a horcrux? That would be stupid.

‘’Tell me, what do you see?’’ Tom gazed into the mirror and saw Harry staring back, holding a red and shiny stone in his hand.

That made sense, this was Harry’s memory, so he saw the events of what happened through his eyes. Tom had never used a pensieve before this, but they never failed to amaze him, nor did magic in general.

Harry frowned at his reflection as it pulled the stone out of his pocket, smiling at his counter part before he put it back inside. Tom could see the shape of the small stone form in Harry’s pocket.

What a clever mirror.

‘’What is it!? What do you see!?’’ Harry startled, looking between the mirror and the professor.

‘’I’m shaking hands with Dumbledore, I’ve–I’ve won the house cup.’’ It seemed Harry had always been a bad liar, because the somehow cold and familiar voice sensed it too. ‘’He lies!’’

‘’Tell the truth!’’ The man was getting too close for comfort, practically yelling in Harry’s face.

Really, a grown adult yelling in a child's face was pathetic.

‘’What do you see!?’’ He yelled again when he didn’t get an answer from Harry, who looked way too frightened to respond.

‘’Let me speak to him..’’ The nasally voice sounded. The professor glanced back in the mirror with an apprehensive expression. ‘’Master, you are not strong enough.’’

‘’I have strength enough for thisss..’’ The voice practically hissed. Harry took a step back from the man as he undid his turban, a sick and chilling feeling washed over Tom as he saw a face being unfolded behind the turban.

‘’Oh Merlin’s beard..’’

That was even worse than having no nose, he had no body either. He didn’t even have his own head.

‘’Harry Potter.’’ Voldemort, or more so, the creature spat. That wasn’t Voldemort in Tom’s eyes. Lord Voldemort was to be strong, powerful. A symbol of power that others could only aspire to become.

Its face was chalky and white, with black veins running across its head like a moss infestation. His face was completely flat, with no nose and instead having two snake-like nostrils. His eyes were blood red, probably from the creation of the horcruxes.

This wasn’t power, it’s madness.

‘’We meet, again.’’

‘’Voldemort..’’ So little Harry knew of him–Voldemort– already then?

‘’Yes, you see what I’ve become? See what I must do to survive, live off another. A mere parasite.’’

Parasite was right because Tom was feeling sick from just looking at him.

How.

How could Harry love him when he had experienced things like these?

It all made a lot more sense now, especially how much Harry distanced himself from Tom when they first met. Tom had found it odd that Harry hadn’t immediately fallen for his charms, but the reason seemed too obvious now.

’’But, there is something that can save me. Something that conveniently enough, lies in your pocket!’’

It all made more sense now, yet no sense at all. Harry was incredible, incredibly stupid for ever falling in love with Tom after all he had done.

Harry ran towards the exit, Voldemort yelling ‘’Stop him!’’ to get his useless lackey moving. With a flick of his fingers, the surrounding area was set ablaze. Harry stumbled, biting worriedly at his lips.

‘’Don’t be a fool..’’ Voldemort whispered. ‘’Why suffer a horrific death, when you can join me.. and live?’’

‘’Never!’’ Harry yelled back.

Tom couldn’t say he was surprised, a Gryffindor at heart would always be brave.

Voldemort’s chuckle was cold and disgusting as if he was coughing out his own lungs in the process. ‘’Bravery. Your parents had it too. Tell me, Harry.’’ Harry looked around searchingly for an exit, his eyes falling back to Voldemort as he called his name. ‘’Would you like to see your mother and father again?’’ Tom could see a woman and a man appear in the mirror behind Voldemort, a woman with green eyes that distinctively looked like Harry’s, and a man who was obviously a Potter.

So that must be Harry’s parents..

‘’Together, we can bring them back.’’

Harry hesitated, Tom could see it on his face. He knew what his Gryffindor would choose in the end, but it made sense that he would hesitate. He hadn’t ever met his parents, because Tom had killed them.

‘’There is only power, and those too weak to seek it.’’ Tom bristled. The saying was different, slightly adjusted, and yet he felt sick to his stomach. Another reminder that this monster, this creature.. this fairytale nightmare was him.

That was Tom Marvolo Riddle.

‘’Together, we’ll do extraordinary things. Just give me the stone!’’ Harry had made up his mind, Tom could see it in that fierce glare of his.

‘’You liar!’’

Voldemort didn’t like his answer, ‘’Kill him!’’ So easily? Over a child?

Tom didn’t have time to question his future selves morals, because the professor rushed toward Harry and wrapped his hand around his wrist. ‘’Kill him! KILL HIM!’’ Voldemort shrieked. Quirrel lunged and Harry fell down onto the stairs, pulling the professor on top of him. He yelped, pulling his hand away with a pained expression.

Harry panted as he glared up at the man, afraid yet brave.

Quirrel’s fingers were blistering, but Voldemort didn’t accept the professor's sudden hesitation. ‘’KILL HIM!’’ The professor startled and wrapped his hands around Harry’s neck, wincing with pain as he touched the boy.

Harry squirmed under him, gasping for air.

Tom felt sick to his stomach. Why had he been forced to watch this, what was the point of this?

He wondered what made him go as crazy as to go after a child, much less attempt to kill it.

Harry wrapped his hand around the arm on his throat in an attempt to pull it away from him. Professor Quirrel shrieked, attempting to pull his hand away from Harry’s grip as his hand deteriorated under Harry.

‘’Huh..’’ Tom couldn’t help but let out a sound, he didn’t know what was going on at all. How could he hurt him with just one touch? The man was quickly deteriorating as Harry continued to touch him, and Tom didn’t understand it at all.

How could Harry have defeated Lord Voldemort?

The man deteriorated completely, falling to the ground as ash and dust, leaving nothing but his robes behind. An inhuman scream reached his ears, a dark misty cloud appearing above the ashes of Professor Quirrel.

What was that?

Was that–

He didn’t get it. How could that be? It felt like him, he could feel it. But it was cold, and the feeling the soul gave off was horrific. Thoughts of rage and anger filled Tom’s mind as the soul passed through Harry, screaming something unintelligibly.

Harry fell to the ground with a thud, soon passing out.

Tom didn’t understand.

How could he understand that?

What the hell had just happened?

If that was really Voldemort’s soul then.. why did it feel like that? It was overflowing with emotions, though only hate and apathy. It felt so small, insignificant as if it was merely a wave in the wind.

Did he break his soul that badly?

Tom was quickly pushed out of the memory and right into the next one. He witnessed it all with interest, taking in every detail. He relished in the small bits and pieces Harry added of his day to day life, even if it was just a bit that was later used as context to the bigger story.

The next time that Harry had met him was with the diary. Tom witnessed Harry finding his diary, completely clueless as to what it was. He took great care of it and patted it dry after it had been found in the girls bathroom of all places. Tom was kind of offended by the idea, but his counterpart had enough words to write to Harry.

It was clear to Tom that his counterpart was manipulating the boy in an attempt to gain something, but he wasn’t quite sure what.

It all made sense when he saw himself standing in the chamber of secrets, hovering over the ginger haired girl. He was planning to exchange her soul for his and escape the diary, a smart plan over all.

Which meant that if Ginny hadn’t stolen the diary back, Harry would’ve been chosen as the offering. That thought made his head swirl. It was surreal to see his younger, yet future self interact with Harry in such a way.

Tom liked this version of himself better than when Harry had fought Voldemort, though he did briefly grimace when Harry pulled out the Gryffindor sword and slayed his beautiful basilisk with it.

It had been deserved, though the poor beauty never deserved any part of it. Tom would have to give her some extra mice as an apology.

Seeing Harry stab the diary with the basilisk fang and watching the light go out his own eyes was frightening. It was surreal, it was horrifying.

He hated it, he hated feeling so weak. And all he felt when he looked at his younger self, was a sickening feeling of disgust.

There was quite a time skip this time, whereas it seemed to only have been one year previously, Harry now looked a lot more like the Harry that Tom had known. It left a weird taste in his mouth to watch Harry joke with his ginger haired friend.

“Wouldn’t want to wish that on anyone.”

“Joining the Triwizard tournament? I bet you’d do great though.” His ginger haired friend elbowed him in his side playfully.

“Oh come on Ron, we both know I have bad luck.” So his name was Ron, good to know.

That was all Tom got to see of that memory, because the next memory involved Dumbledore standing in front of the Goblet of fire which was used in the Triwizard tournament.

Tom glared at Dumbledore with hatred, especially after the fiasco the man had pulled in the matrons office just two days ago.

Tom would cheer when the man finally dropped dead.

Dumbledore pulled three different champions out of the goblet, but when he announced the champions, the cup started to shake and another piece of parchment flew out of it.

Tom hadn’t ever seen Dumbledore look so dumbfounded, but he found that the expression suited the man. “Harry Potter..” He whispered, looking at the parchment. He glanced through the room looking for Harry until he had found him. “Harry Potter!” He yelled. The boy in question startled, and his friends didn’t look particularly happy to be seated next to him. Ron especially, as he scooted away from Harry with a look of distaste and what was probably jealousy.

Harry got called to the front, gawking at Dumbledoreś's glare. He walked past the teachers and got led to a separate room by an older and gentle-looking Professor.

The teachers spoke in hushed tones to each other, glancing at Harry once in a while. Tom could tell that Harry was feeling uncomfortable with all the attention.

“Always the chosen one..” Tom mumbled, taking a seat next to Harry. It was nice to be close to him, even if it wasn’t real. He would let himself enjoy it while he could, he was merely taking advantage of the situation at present.

“The goblet of fire constructs a binding magical contract. Mister Potter has no choice!”

Tom blinked as the scenery changed around him, day turned into evening as the memory took them outside. They stood in front of a maze, Harry and the other champions were listening carefully to Dumbledore’s instructions while Tom scanned the crowd for any familiar faces.

His eyes stopped at a seemingly familiar platinum blond boy with blue eyes, but on further inspection, he wasn’t familiar at all. He looked like Abraxas from certain angles, but it wasn’t quite right, nor was his hair as long as Abraxas´ hair is.

Maybe it was his son or even grandson? Wait, how many years into the future was Harry again?

Tom did the quick math in his head, blemishing at the realization that this was probably his grandson. So much time had passed, he wondered how the Malfoy heir acted. He certainly seemed as arrogant as Abraxas once had been, maybe even a bit more. Though he was definitely of pureblood status.
Tom didn’t see any Black kids in the group, which meant that their grandkids would probably be older or younger than these kids.

What about the Lestrange or the Rosier family?

Tom heard Dumbledore give the go-ahead from behind him and focused his attention back on Harry. The future didn’t matter, he would be there to live it every step of the way.

Still, he ought to pay attention to what Harry had wanted him to see instead of looking at his surroundings. He was again transported to what seemed to be only half an hour later, or even a few minutes. Harry and a Hufflepuff boy were running towards the Triwizard cup and both managed to grasp it at the same time, the portkey inside the statue transporting the three of them to a strange graveyard.

Tom quickly realized that it was a familiar graveyard once he took a look at the headstones, grimacing at the name. He hadn’t expected to come here again.

Harry and the Hufflepuff boy stood up, stumbling as they did so.

‘’You okay?’’

‘’Yeah, you?’’ The boy nodded, putting his hands on his hips as he looked around.

‘’Where are we?’’ He mumbled, Harry took in the sight of the grave with a strange expression on his face, a realization washing over his face.

‘’I’ve been here before..’’ Tom frowned, how had Harry been here before? It was in a secluded place, and although Harry had been the type to sneak around where he wasn’t allowed to be, he wasn’t as gullible as to head to such a strange place without reason.

‘’It’s a portkey..’’ The Hufflepuff boy said as he leaned over the cup to examine it. ‘’Harry, the cup is a portkey.’’ He said, looking back at Harry.

Harry took a deep breath as he walked closer to the grave, stumbling on his legs. ‘’I’ve been here before, in a dream.’’ Now that made a lot more sense.

‘’Cedric,’’ So that was the boys name, Tom mused. Harry’s fingers hesitantly traced the letters on the grave, the grave that read Tom Riddle.‘’We have to get back to the cup!’’ Tom wondered whether Harry knew that he was standing on the grave of Tom’s father.

Probably not.

Though he did seem to recognize the name, or so Tom guessed by the look of blatant fear in his eyes. He hadn’t ever seen Harry that scared.

‘’What are you talking about?’’ Harry didn’t have time to respond, yelling as he clutched at his scar. His face was contorted with pain, barely standing on his legs.

Tom only now noticed the cauldron in the middle of the graveyard, one that hadn’t been there many years prior. ‘’Harry, what’s–’’

‘’Get back to the cup!’’ He yelled, clutching tightly at his head and groaning loudly. Harry looked up, and for a moment, it felt as if he was looking straight at Tom.

Until Tom felt that soft pulse again, the soft pulse of hatred pushing past him. He turned around to see a larger man with rat-like teeth and shoddily made clothing hold what seemed to be a baby at first glance, until the man took the hood off of the creature.

Tom knew who it was instantly, and so did Harry.

He had mistaken Lord Voldemort for a mere baby. Harry fell to the ground, helplessly staring up at Cedric. The boy grabbed his wand and pointed at the men in a particularly interesting way. He held his wand differently than most, Tom mused.

‘’Who are you!? What do you want!?’’

‘’Kill the spare.’’ The voice of Lord Voldemort sounded even more pathetic this time, and Tom barely had time to blink before the rat looking person yelled, ‘’Avada Kedavra!’’

With a thud, the boy’s body fell to the ground. Tom could hear Harry’s grief-stricken screams behind him, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the body. Tom didn’t care for dead bodies, nor did he care to witness killing. But death had always been scary to him, and perplex. And now he had witnessed the life going out of someone’s eyes, someone Harry cared for.

Another thing Tom had done to harm Harry.

‘’CEDRIC!!’’ Harry screamed loudly, tears welling up in his eyes. Tom wondered how many people he had already lost to Lord Voldemort, to Tom. He wondered how many people that Harry had cared for died under his watch.

Harry didn’t have long to grief, because the rat-like person came rushing up to Harry, levitating him into standing. He pushed Harry against the statue of Tom’s father’s grave, the angel of death on the headstone encasing Harry with it’s scythe against his throat.

Harry struggled against it, but it was no use. Harry nearly whimpered from the pain as the man brought Voldemort closer, taking off his robes and dousing the creature into the cauldron. A disgusting ritual took place, one where that rat look a like had to cut his arm off as a sacrifice, and a bit of blood from Harry.

Tom grimaced as he watched it all, as he watched himself be reborn into a hideous creature. No nose, no hair, no facial structure, and no sanity.

Harry screamed as Voldemort came out of the cauldron, his arm dripping with blood from the freshly made cut.

Voldemort opened his eyes, his serpent eyes staring directly into Harry’s, and indirectly into Tom’s. He was horrified, he didn’t have another word for it.

Barefooted, Voldemort walked in his robes on shaky legs after just receiving a new body. He chuckled lightly, walking towards that filthy follower of his.

‘’My wand, Wormtail..’’ He whispered, his voice equally as light as it was cold.

Wormtail bowed as he handed Voldemort his wand, Voldemort’s sickly long fingers grasping against the wood.

With a flick of his wand against Wormtail’s dark mark, a group of Voldemort’s followers found themselves in the graveyard. They were all masked and robed, but Tom thought he saw pale platinum blond hair peeking out from one of the robes.

‘’Welcome, my friends. Thirteen years it’s been, and yet, here you stand before me, as if it were only yesterday.’’ He chuckled lightly, ‘’I confess myself.. disappointed.’’ The light smile dropped off his face in an instant, a cold and chilling expression laying heavy on his face.

It surprised Tom how calm Voldemort seemed, he seemed more rational than he had been with the stone, though Tom couldn’t sense an additional piece to his soul. Maybe his body had returned some of his senses to him?

‘’Not one of you tried to find me.’’ He ripped the masks off of his followers, stopping at the last one. ‘’Not even you, Lucius.’’ The man fell to his knees, and now Tom could see him properly. He looked just like Abraxas, even more so than the other boy.

And he was older than the boy he had seen in the stands, so this must be Abraxas’ son, which would make the other boy his grandson..

A small part of Tom was glad to see that the Malfoy family was still loyal to him.

Voldemort expressed his utter disappointment in all of his followers thoroughly, but weirdly enough, their reaction wasn’t satisfying to Tom. They weren’t fawning over Voldemort like Tom’s followers currently were, no, they were scared. Scared of the consequences, of what would happen if they didn’t do as they said.

Tom’s followers were scared too, but differently.

Voldemort rewarded Wormtail for his usefulness by giving him a new metal arm conjured by magic, to which Wormtail nearly got on his knees to thank him for. Tom would’ve imagined that he found the scene amusing if only it had been someone like Rosier, but Wormtail was even more pathetic.

He wondered why Voldemort allowed someone so pathetic into his ranks, much less allow him to complete the ritual. Surely Abraxas’ son would’ve done a much better job.

Harry groaned out in protest when Voldemort nudged Cedric with his foot, he turned to Harry with a mock shocked expression. ‘’Harry! I had almost forgotten you were here!’’

Harry writhed in the hold of the statue, but he couldn’t break free. It was nerve-wracking to watch his older self stalk up to Harry, ‘’Standing on the bones of my father.’’ He said sinisterly, getting too close to Harry for Tom’s liking.

‘’I’d introduce you, but word has it you’re almost as famous as me these days.’’ Harry turned his head away in disgust when Voldemort leaned closer to him, Voldemorts want pointing at Harry.

Somehow, seeing the wand in Voldemort’s hand made the situation feel even realer. Tom knew he was Voldemort, but seeing the clear evidence laid out in front of him made him feel sick to his stomach.

Voldemort turned back to his followers, circling Harry as he spoke. ‘’The boy.. who lived. How lies have fed your legend, Harry. Shall I reveal what really happened that night, thirteen years ago?’’

So Harry would be fourteen in the memory..

‘’Shall I divulge.. how I truly lost my power?’’ He smiled, walking around each of his followers. ‘’It was love. You see, when dear sweet Lily Potter gave her life for her only son, she provided the ultimate protection. I could not touch you. It was.. old magic, very old.’’

He prowled back to Harry, ‘’Something I should’ve foreseen.’’ Tom felt his stomach clenching, nauseous even though he had nothing to puke. ‘’But no matter, no matter. Things have changed.’’ It was as if Voldemort had practically leaped towards Harry, holding his hand up above Harry’s scar. ‘’I can touch you now..’’

Tom realized what was going to happen only moments before Voldemort touched Harry, he grimaced, but he refused to cover his ears as Harry screamed in agony from the searing hot pain in his scar.

Voldemort chuckled, pressing his finger roughly to Harry’s scar, enjoying the way Harry writhed under the hold of the statue.

‘’Stop..’’ The words mumbled out of Tom’s mouth before he had even realized it, his head stung so much. He wanted to run away, he wanted to pull his head up and leave the pensieve. He wanted to go back and spend time with the basilisk, to pretend this never happened.

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t move.

Finally, Voldemort pulled his hand away and Tom’s shoulders sagged with relief. He was panting just nearly as hard as Harry was. The screams thrummed through his skull, making the hairs on his arms stand up.

‘’Astonishing what a few drops of your blood will do, huh Harry?’’ Voldemort stared at him for a moment longer before the scythe dropped and Harry fell to the ground.

What ensued was a pathetic attempt at a duel as Voldemort forced Harry to take the stand, imperio-ing him into bowing down as the greeting. Harry tried to struggle against it, but he couldn’t do anything but groan out in pain.

‘’Crucio!’’ The curse had never sounded so frightening to Tom, and the screams that sounded after were horrible.

Tom watched as Harry fell to the ground again, writhing and rolling around from the pain. His hair stuck to his forehead as he screamed, his scar starting to dripple down small beads of blood. The noise was horrifying and chilling, worse than any crucio scream he had ever heard before.

The conflicting feeling in his chest didn’t help, he remembered it all. He remembered how much he had wanted to hurt Harry at the start of the year, he remembered how much he had wanted to crucio him and make him beg for mercy, how he had wanted to kill the boy with his bare hands and watch the light leave his eyes. And now, he was.

But not at his own hands.
Harry didn’t deserve to suffer, not like this. He never had.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Voldemort released the spell. Tom knew that it felt like hours under the spell, so it must’ve felt even longer for Harry than it had for him.

Harry gasped, trying to desperately catch his breath. ‘’Atta boy Harry, your parents would be proud.’’ It really was commendable at how Harry still had his wits on him even after having been crucio’d. ‘’Especially your filthy muggle mother—’’ Harry pulled out his wand and with a quick flick of his wrist, he yelled ‘’Expelliarmus!’’

Tom had never seen someone recover so quickly, not enough to be able to cast a spell immediately after having been crucio’d. Harry truly was special.

It didn’t work though, because with a flick of Voldemort's wand, the boy fell back to the ground and his spell was deflected.

Tom had to watch as Voldemort prowled around him, exclaiming how he was going to kill the boy. He had to watch as Harry ran, only to come out of hiding to face Voldemort with an expelliarmus of all spells. Harry had always been one for solving things without violence, even in the face of death, it seemed.

He faced Avada Kedavra with an Expelliarmus because he was Harry Potter. And he was the most stubborn man Tom Riddle had ever known.

And he got away with it. Somehow, their brother wand connection caused their spells to disappear and Harry had the opportunity to grab his friend's hand and reach for the cup. That was as much as Tom got to see of the incident before it moved on to the next memory.
He didn’t have any time to process what he had witnessed at all, and he didn’t know whether to be grateful for it or upset.

Finally, Tom got to see the man Harry dreamed about from time to time. He got to see Sirius, someone Harry often muttered of in his sleep. He got to watch the light leave his eyes, and Harry’s screams as he passed through the veil.

He watched Harry crucio a woman who looked strangely like a distant relative of the Black’s. He watched as Harry fought tooth and nail against Voldemort’s possession.

Dumbledore arrived at the scene, and Tom was disappointed that the memory ended so quickly. He would’ve loved to watch the fight between himself and Dumbledore, to see the light leave his eyes once and for all.

Harry probably realized that and didn’t show him the rest, or maybe he thought it wasn’t of importance.

The next memory was a bit blurry and confusing. It took a second for everything to register, but it seemed as if they were on the Hogwarts ground. Tom could see a group of what looked to be blurry students standing near the castle walls, watching quietly. He could see parts of a battle ongoing.

He spotted a few death eaters in the crowd, and Abraxas’ grandson as well. That was all he could see, because it seemed like Harry had tried to repress this memory the most of them all. Most of the other memories had been clear, especially their surroundings. But Harry’s memory was only clearly focused on Voldemort, who stood on the other side of the battlefield.

Tom got to witness a few of Voldemort’s death eaters fight with the students, and a part of him wondered where the teachers had run off to. Then he spotted a giant figure in the crowd, ‘’Is that Hagrid..?’’ He mumbled aloof. He hadn’t expected to see him here, nor had he ever expected to see the man again.

But he had always been a Dumbledore lover, so it made sense that the stupid oaf had come crawling back for him. Where was Dumbledore anyway?

Voldemort and Harry stood on opposite sides of the battlefield, their wands pointed at one another. Tom noticed that neither Voldemort nor Harry had their own wands in their hands.

Tom focused on the wand in Voldemort’s hand, his mind searching for where he had seen the wand before. He recognized it from somewhere, something recent.

Where had he..---
Then he remembered the fairytale Harry had made him read out loud about the three hallows. This must be the Elder wand!

He hadn’t expected it to be true, but seeing the wand in person made his heart skip a beat. Even through the memory, he could sense the power thrumming through the wood from afar.

Tom could see a decapitated snake lying on the ground and Harry’s past words rung in his head ‘’Even in the future, you always have a snake.’’

He wondered what they were like. He hoped to meet them again, such a beautiful pattern must’ve belonged to an intelligent snake.

There were no words used as Voldemort and Harry stood on opposite sides, prowling around each other with their wands drawn and ready. They both seemed to fire at the same time, two wordless spells clashing with each other. Tom watched with dread, but not for his own sake, or was it?

He wasn’t sure anymore.

Harry had most likely cast an Expelliarmus, because what was a more fitting spell for a stupid Gryffindor like Harry than a simple disarming spell to kill the greatest wizard of all time?

And Voldemort cast the killing curse, the green and red light clashing together beautifully. Tom could slowly see the red glow of the Expelliarmus take over, causing the killing curse to rebound back to Voldemort.

Tom quickly realized why this was. The wand in Harry’s hand had accepted Harry, but the wand in Voldemort’s hand had not accepted him.

The wand did not want him.

A wand picks the wizard and not the other way around, and it seems his older self has gotten so possessed by his greed that he wanted to demand the wand to listen to him.

Which led him to his doom.

The wand sails from Voldemort’s hand, loudly clanking to the ground. Tom’s heart stopped at the same moment that Voldemort’s did, silently watching himself crumple into dust.

He felt the soft throb of Voldemort’s soul leave, and he knew Voldemort was truly dead at that point.

There, Harry stood, but he didn’t stand proud like a warrior who had just beaten his greatest enemy. He didn’t stand like a warrior who had just saved the world, he stood there like a child, a child who wanted to run back to his parents.

He looked so heartbroken as if he hadn’t truly meant for Voldemort to die.

He might’ve been even sadder than Tom to see the ash fall between the robes, and that confused him. He felt so empty when he looked at those robes, yet when he looked at Harry, all he could see was the lost expression on his face, the lost look in his eyes, and the realization that Tom had done that to him.

He had made Harry feel that way.

It didn’t feel as good as he had hoped, it felt like nothing at all. There was no satisfaction in seeing himself die, only the small inkling of fear trapped in his mind. He would make sure that he would not succumb to the same end as Voldemort had, no matter the cost.

He looked back at Harry with a sullen look on his face, gasping loudly as he was pushed out of the memory and out of the pensieve.

He gasped for air, his chest rising quickly as he took his surroundings in. It took him a moment to realize where he was. He let his head fall to the back of the cauldron for a moment, letting the cool metal cool down his skin.

‘’What the hell..’’

What was the point of it all?

He didn’t get Voldemort, he didn’t get him at all.
But he didn’t get Harry either.

How could Harry be so stupid? How could Harry die for someone like Tom?

Why did it even matter what Tom did with his life now? Why should he conform to being a politician or even a light wizard when all the world did was screw him over.

Harry wasn’t here anymore to be disappointed in him, so what did it all matter? As long as he kept Voldemort’s path in mind, it would be okay.

Tom blinked, wiping at his tired eyes. He paused as a realization flashed through his head. Would Harry be reborn?

He would, wouldn’t he?

The Potter family was alive and well, and if Tom didn’t interfere, there was hope of Harry being reborn.

‘’Make a better world, a world orphans like us could thrive in.’’

He could change the world for Harry’s sake. Tom would ensure that he had a better life than in his past one, that he would live without pain and hardship or war.

Even if Tom had to live without Harry to accomplish it, he would go into politics. He would become the minister of magic if Harry so-willed it.

As long as Harry grew up happy, it would be okay.
Even if they didn’t talk, Tom would be happy knowing that Harry is alright.

Tom walked over to the basilisk the moment he could get himself to stand up, petting her and thanking her for her earlier generosity.

Tom finally came out of the chamber that day and showed his face to his followers after he had thoroughly cleaned up. He didn’t let any weakness show, nor did he speak with anyone about the incident, and no one asked.

He often saw Abraxas, Orion, and Walburga talking together, comforting each other through their grief.

Tom thought it to be pathetic, and he refused to come along no matter how often Orion invited him to go with him.

‘’Harry would want you to be happy.’’ Orion had said, and that only pissed Tom off more.

‘’Harry is dead, it doesn’t matter what he would want.’’

Orion left him alone about it after that, and they didn’t bring up Harry anymore in front of Tom. But he still heard of it, of course, he heard everything that went on in his school.

Harry’s funeral had been organised by the school and it had been a mandatory attendance for every student. It was a waste of time to mourn the dead, dead is dead, but here he sat anyway listening to the speeches about Harry and what a great student and person he had been.

But they didn’t know Harry, not like Tom did, so what gave them the right to speak of him? What gave them the right to think of him at all?

Tom didn’t speak up when they asked if any students wanted to give some kind words. Harry wasn’t here to hear them, so there was no use in saying anything at all.

After two weeks, life returned to normal as if Harry’s passing never happened. As if his existence never happened. Harry had only been at Hogwarts for a year in this era, and yet it felt like everything Tom did reminded him of Harry.

Walking the corridors, having potions class and being partnered with Rosier instead of Harry, having to duel Malfoy again, spending time in the library on his own without some pest to stalk him.. it all felt superficial now.

His followers certainly seemed happy about Harry’s disappearance, they thought he didn’t hear it, but he did. They talked of how Tom had returned to ‘normal’ now that Harry was gone, and in some sense, they were right.
Tom still punished them of course, but it got Tom thinking about how he should go about this. And as such, he made a plan.

He kept the facade up until graduation, standing at a graduation podium full of students with them looking up at him as the best student Hogwarts has had in decades, with his Head Boy badge attached to his robes.

He gave a short yet powerful speech wherein he vowed to do great things for the wizarding world because unlike them, he now had a goal.

And he’d work hard until he reached it.

He was getting sick and tired of listening to his followers mention Harry from time to time, and how he was the only one to equal to Tom. All that Tom had left of Harry was the now-dead flowers that he had preserved and the letters. He sometimes went back to the memories Harry had given him, just to see his face.

He was ashamed to admit it to himself, and even more to do it, but he had also rewatched the memory of them flying together and hanging out together multiple times on multiple occasions, just to enjoy Harry’s presence. He’d stand there and watch as his younger self talked with Harry while they read in the library.

He felt like he was going crazy, he didn’t need anyone else to mention Harry. He didn’t want them to remember him, it wouldn’t be smart when he was reborn anyway.

It would be hard to wipe every Hogwarts student of their memories, not to mention incredibly reckless. Dumbledore would find out easily, and that wouldn’t do.

He could change the memories of his most loyal followers slightly to make them believe it was someone completely different who had simply moved far away and never contacted them again.

Changing their memories wasn’t that hard, he called them in one by one and altered their memories so fast they barely even realized it, and then imperio’d them out of the room without any memories of the situation at all.

He spent the first two years after graduation traveling the world to explore different wizarding communities and lay his influence in different wizarding societies. If he was going for a complete and legal takeover, he wanted the world to know his name and his good deeds.

His followers were all aligned with goals because of what he promised them, and they had always believed his every word. He’d simply push forward a few plans that would support purebloods and focus the rest of his time on making the wizarding world his and creating plans for his own benefit, and in turn, Harry’s.

He didn’t know how many times he had reread Harry’s notebook, yet he had kept the last page untouched. There were several warnings on the page before that it was only to be read in case he did become minister, and he wanted to honor that promise.

A part of him wondered why he hadn’t just read it already, but something in him forced him to keep it as it was.

When he wasn’t busy traveling and working for the ministry, he was on the hunt for the resurrection stone. The memories showed him that the Deathly Hallows was real, which meant that the ring must be real as well.

Then what of the cloak? Tom would love to have that.

He found out that the Gaunt ring hid the resurrection stone completely by accident. He had been sitting in his office as a current secretary, toying with the ring on his hand as he read the documents in front of him.

It was about the rights of squibs, those inferiors to wizards and just barely above muggles themselves. Tom personally believed they should all be exterminated as they were nothing but useless pests, but it seemed that some light wizards in the ministry didn’t agree with the sentiment.

Tom didn’t have the power to push his will forward yet as he was still just interning, having gotten the connection through Slughorn. He was climbing the ranks faster than any wizard had done before, yet it wasn’t quick enough for him.

Technically speaking, he could forge the minister’s signature..

He twisted the ring on his finger again, a strange tingling washing over him. He shuddered, looking around briefly, it must’ve been his imagination then.

He grabbed his quill and closed his eyes, attempting to focus on the minister's magical signature. All Tom technically had to do was stamp the paper check for any spelling mistakes or faults within the fine print, but he could push the elections forward this way–

‘’I wouldn’t do that if I were you.’’ Tom flinched at the sound of the voice and looked around the room again, his heart thumping in his chest. He recognized that voice..

His eyes widened when his gaze landed on a shadowy, transparent figure that closely resembled Harry. He was wearing his Slytherin robes, and Tom could see him look a lot healthier than he had been when Tom had last seen him.

‘’Harry..?’’

‘’Hi, Tom.’’ His voice, it was slightly different. It was as if Harry had to force it out.

Tom stood up from his chair, the chair loudly scraping against the floor. He was intently staring at Harry with a shocked expression on his face. Was he going crazy?

Harry chuckled lightly, ‘’I’m real, I’m here.’’ That was all it took for Tom to be at his side, his hand hesitantly reaching for Harry’s, but to his surprise, he passed right through it. He grimaced, but Harry’s smile didn’t falter.

‘’The resurrection stone isn’t magical sadly.’’

‘’The resurrection stone..’’ Tom looked at the ring on his finger, where he could feel his soul thrum against his hand. ‘’It’s in the stone, while your soul is in the metal of the ring.’’

‘’I.. see.’’ All that searching was for naught, but Harry was here with him now. The spilled time didn’t matter. ‘’How long can you stay?’’ Harry smiled sadly, ‘’I’m dead, Tom. I shouldn’t stay.’’

‘’No! You’ve only just gotten here, you-you can’t. You can’t possibly leave. How long can you stay?’’

Harry frowned, ‘’Only a few minutes at best.’’ Tom licked his lips, taking in the sight of seeing Harry again for the first time in years. Of seeing Harry in person instead of in a pensieve.

‘’I know what you’ve been up to over the years.’’ Tom paused, looking back at Harry with a hesitant look on his face. ‘’You do?’’

‘’I’m proud of you for deciding to go into politics.’’ For the first time in a long while, Tom smiled, a real smile that he hadn’t let anyone else see. ‘’I’ll make the world better for you, I promise.’’

Harry moved away from Tom’s reach, stepping back with a contemplative look on his face. ‘’Then start by not tampering with that paper. Leave the squibs alone.’’

‘’What?’’

‘’I said to leave them alone. Squibs are just as important as us wizards.’’ Tom chuckled, not taking Harry seriously. ‘’You’ve got to be joking.’’

Harry grimaced, ‘’I’m not. Truly, you must understand. Your mother was a–’’

‘’Don’t!’’ Tom took a step closer to him, as close as proximity would let him without passing through Harry. ‘’Let’s not talk about politics.’’

Harry sighed but he nodded, ‘’Fine.’’

Tom bit his lip, hesitantly looking at Harry. ‘’What is.. death like?’’

Harry shrugged, ‘’Honestly, I’m not quite sure. It’s peaceful, there’s nothing. Nothing until you called me here, yet I was aware of everything you’re doing. Isn’t that strange? Maybe it’s because Death knew you were going to call on me with the stone.’’

‘’I’ll keep calling on you.’’

‘’You shouldn’t, it’s not healthy..’’

‘’You are the last person to be speaking of health right now.’’

‘’Tom,’’ Harry said, a tone so serious that Tom hadn’t ever heard him speak like that before. ‘’You need to stop. Limit yourself with watching the memories, and don’t use the stone too much. I won’t show up if I think you’re over-using it.’’

Tom gasped, ‘’You can’t! I’ve only just gotten you back!--’’

‘’But I’m not back Tom, and I never will be. You need to move on.’’ The desperation hit Tom in full force, he hadn’t felt this way since he had read Harry’s letter, since he had seen Harry’s memories of the future for the first time.

The desperation to have Harry stay with him forever. Is this all worth it?
What was he even doing it for anymore?

The world would be fine without Tom becoming the minister, why would he do all this for someone who wasn’t even there?

Becoming a dark wizard would be so much easier, he wouldn’t go as far as Voldemort would, and he wouldn’t become like him.

‘’Tom.’’ Harry’s voice called his attention back to Harry, realizing that he had started to breathe incredibly fast. He couldn’t stop, he didn’t know what was going on, but he couldn’t rationalize his thoughts.

Harry was here, and yet he wasn’t. Harry would be leaving him again and there was nothing he could do to stop him. What was all the power in the world worth if he couldn’t have Harry to himself?

Why did he do this?

He should’ve never listened to Harry’s memories, never read those letters, never talked to the horcrux in the diary. It was all influencing his thoughts, it wasn’t meant to go like this– ‘’Tom!’’

Harry’s voice was as beautiful as it was painful, he didn’t want to hear it. He wished he had never found out about the resurrection stone hiding within the Gaunt ring, but he also wished Harry would never leave.

Why couldn’t his life just go according to plan for once?

Why did no one stay?

He felt like a little kid again, hiding in the garden away from the orphanage bullies and surrounded by the comfort of his snakes, but this time he wasn’t.

He was in a room with Harry, Harry who was rapidly losing time. Harry who was already dead. Merlin, he was already dead—Tom was going crazy.

He was a grown man, an adult on his way to becoming the greatest Ministry of magic. And here he was, sitting on the floor like a child.

When had he started sitting on the floor?

His head was foggy and his vision was hazy, but he could make Harry out in the distance. Harry was talking to him, his kind and gentle voice slowly waving through the panic.

Tom finally managed to catch his breath, wiping the unshed tears in his eyes away with disgust. Harry looked at him as if he was fragile, something that was to be repaired. He hated it.

He wasn’t weak, this was simply a blunder.

‘’Oh, Tom..’’

If Harry could’ve, he would’ve hugged Tom then and there, but the stone wasn’t that strong, and his time was running out. ‘’Tom, you need to listen to me.’’ Tom’s eyes zeroed in on him, his mouth agape. His mouth was incredibly dry, but he didn’t dare get up and move his eyes away from Harry.

He wanted to see his every moment, right up until he left.

‘’I.. I’m sorry.’’

Harry blinked, pausing whatever he was going to say to pay attention to Tom. ‘’I’m sorry for leaving, I should’ve stayed. I didn’t know you were–you asked me to stay, and I left–I..’’

Harry smiled at him, and Tom’s troubles washed away, just for a moment. Just for a moment, it was okay. ‘’It’s alright, I didn’t expect you to. I’m glad you weren’t there, to be honest.’’

‘’..Were you in pain?’’

Harry shrugged, still smiling softly. ‘’A little, but your soul was quick to help with the pain. I felt him the whole time, softly numbing the pain away.’’ He mumbled, his hand touching his scar out of reflex.

‘’I’m glad..’’

They sat in silence for a moment, but the ring on Tom’s hand ticked. Harry hummed, glancing at it. ‘’That’s the second time. We only have a few more minutes left.’’

‘’Already..?’’

Harry’s smile quickly turned serious, ‘’I need you to promise me something, Tom.’’

‘’Anything—’’

‘’Please, don’t go looking into your memories so often anymore. It’ll ruin you.’’ Tom opened his mouth to object, but Harry continued. ‘’Back when I went to Hogwarts, I had found the mirror of Erised. It shows you what you desire most, and I saw my parents smiling proudly at me. I returned to that mirror every night like clock-work.’’ Tom listened patiently, greedily drinking in the new details about Harry.

‘’Until one day, a professor came to me.’’ Harry didn’t reveal the name of the professor, which was probably on purpose, Tom mused. ‘’He told me that men have wasted away in front of such things and that you gain neither knowledge nor truth from it. The next day, he moved the mirror.’’

Tom bit his lip, refusing to understand what Harry was trying to tell him. ‘’So?’’

‘’Don’t look, before you waste away like they did. I understand, truly. But you can’t.’’

‘’If you understand, then why won’t you let me–’’

‘’Because I don’t want you to turn out like others have. You don’t deserve such a fate, and because of that, I think I’ll limit my visits to once a month.’’

‘’What..?’’

Harry looked at him with a straight face, glancing at him head-on. His stare didn’t waver no matter how much Tom glared at him, so Tom agreed to it.

There was no better solution, and Tom would get to see Harry. He would get to see something different than the same memories over and over again.

For the first time in a while, Tom could say he was truly happy.

Just as promised, Tom turned the ring three times one day every month, at the exact same time. They sat together and often spoke of the past, from silly Hogwarts memories to memories of their past that they could only tell each other. Tom learned much about Harry, about his muggle relatives and how they had treated him, and in turn, Tom told Harry about his life growing up.

Seeing Harry made him crave Harry more than before, but he couldn’t break his promise and look into the pensieve more than the amount they agreed on. He wanted to keep seeing Harry more than he wanted to see those same memories.

Sometimes, he still did. But he didn’t think Harry mind, as long as he kept it to a minimum of two times a week, Harry didn’t comment on it.

Eventually, baby Lucius Malfoy was born. The baby looked nothing like the man he had seen in the pensieve, which was to be expected. It was surreal to see someone he knew in the future to be born in this day and age.

He looked over at Abraxas and his wife, and for the first time, he realized how old they had gotten. They would all die one day.

Walburga and Orion already had one child, a boy named Sirius, with a younger child on the way. Harry had told Tom some stories about Sirius, an honorary Gryffindor born into a family of Slytherins.

He doubted that Walburga and Orion would take kindly to it, but for Harry’s sake, he’d try to change their mind.

For Harry’s sake, he’d do it all.

Five years turned into ten, and ten years turned into fifteen. Tom had finally been promoted to the Minister of Magic, and thus he could read Harry’s final letter to him.

Tom ripped the letter open as soon as he apparated home from the office. He barely took the time to take his shoes off. His familiar crawled to him, excited to see him after a long day of work.

‘’Master, you have returned.’’

‘’Good afternoon, Nagini.’’ He picked her up and slung her around his shoulders, she made herself right at home and crawled into the corner of his neck.

He stumbled over his legs as he made his way to his elegant seating area. With a flick of his finger, he summoned his house elf. ‘’Penny.’’

His house elf appeared in front of him within seconds, wearing more luxurious clothes than any other house elf Tom had ever met. He liked to treat his things properly after all.

Technically, that did make his elf a ‘free elf’, but his dear elf was so grateful to him for his kindness that it stayed, so easy to manipulate. She was kind and forgiving, and would easily cover up for him if so needed.

Harry had been right, house elves were truly useful. ‘’Master Tom! What can Penny do for you?’’

Tom smiled cheerfully at his house elf, ‘’Could you fetch me a cup of tea and my notebook?’’

She smiled, the hat on her head bouncing with her step. ‘’Of course! Penny will be right back!’’ Tom huffed, letting the smile fall off of his face.

As much as they were useful, having such a cheerful house elf could be quite annoying from time to time.

The snake around his neck coiled closer to him, wrapping her magnificent body around his neck without squeezing. He knew she would never hurt him, and he had no fear in the action. ‘’Master is hungry?’’

‘’Master is tired.’’

He hummed thoughtfully while he waited for the tea to boil. ‘’Nagini?’’

She hissed in response, ‘’Should we visit our dear basilisk this weekend?’’

‘’Mother?’’

‘’Yes, my sweet.’’ Nagini hissed happily. Nagini had been the only egg the basilisk had laid so far, but she was the most beautiful snake Tom had ever seen other than the basilisk. She was but a half basilisk, so she wasn’t nearly as big as her mother nor would she ever be, but Tom was grateful to have such a powerful familiar nearby.

Penny returned within a few moments, handing him the notebook and putting the cup of tea down on the table.

‘’Thank you, Penny.’’

‘’Penny is most glad to be of service!’’ She apparated back to her quarters until she would be called again, and Tom preferred it that way.

He wanted his privacy while he read the letter. Tom flipped through the pages, ignoring Harry’s rambling about random subjects and things that happened around the days before Harry’s death. He had read those pages so many times he was sure he could recite it by heart now, but seeing Harry’s handwriting still gave him a feeling of familiarity, so he read it out of the notebook instead of his memories.

He finally came to the page, landing on the note ‘’Only open if you become the Minister!! I’m warning you, Tom! Don’t do it!!’’ The warning he had nearly ignored so many times.

He finally flipped the page. An abundance of magic washed over him, Harry’s magic, he realized. He reveled in the familiar feeling, desperately clinging to it.

Hi Tom!!

You better be reading this when you’ve become the Minister of Magic!! Not that you’d be able to open the pages otherwise, until you become fifty at least that is if I charmed it correctly.. then again, I’m not the best at charms so I hope I did it correctly?

Time can only tell!

Tom hadn’t known about the charm placed on it, but he surely wasn’t fifty yet, so it seemed that it had worked. He felt a strange semblance of pride simmering in his chest.

I wonder if you’ll still be reading this by the time you’ve become the minister of magic. Have you forgotten about me, do you still think of me?

Everyday. He thought of Harry every single day. There didn’t pass a day where he didn’t think of Harry..

It’s kind of silly, but I ask myself those questions. You probably think it’s silly. I wonder what year it would be when you become minister, usually it takes really long for someone to become minister, but you’d probably become one super quick with your mental math and manipulations!

It’s silly, but a part of me is happy to think you still are reading these letters, and that you miss me like I’ll probably miss you. I wonder what life after death is like, but if I can, I’ll send you a sign! (a middle finger)

Tom chuckled, wistfully staring at the pages.

I wonder what kind of minister you’ll be. A man with a charming smile who secretly runs things underground to make people vote for him?? Something like that I guess, or maybe you’ve turned light!! (as if)

Harry was mostly right. He did run things and secretly pull his voters in by underground manners, just to convince them. He did things legally, even if they weren’t always morally right.

I wonder how Abraxas, Walburga, and Orion are doing.. In the future, Abraxas has one kid named Lucius! You probably saw him in my memories when I was a fifth year, he was the one wearing a mask with that long luscious hair. Kind of fits the name Lucius, right?

Tom had already met Lucius, in both the current era and future.

Orion and Walburga have two kids, one is Sirius Black (my godfather! He’s really kind) and Regulus (?) Black, I’m not really sure about him. I haven’t heard much about him but I think he had a good heart. He was one of Voldemort’s Death Eaters, but he went against him in the end.

This was supposed to be your letter to celebrate you becoming the Minister of Magic, but I rambled.. I’m sorry.

In pure Harry fashion, a sad smiley was drawn next to the sentence.

So to talk about you again, I’m super proud of you! I can’t wait to see all the things you come up with (not really, cause I’m dead. But let a boy dream!!)

I hope you’ll be good to wizardkind, they’ve suffered enough with Grindelwald. Save the orphans, take care of the magical beasts (they’re so worth it, especially if you become close) and please take care of yourself and the others too.

OH and put in some funding for Quidditch! Future me has to play quidditch when he can! (if there even will be a future me, that’s a scary thought..)

Of course there would be, Tom would make sure of it. Harry’s grandparents were already together, and James Potter was about the same age as Lucius Malfoy right now.

I wonder if you’ve found this out already, but the resurrection stone is actually in the Gaunt ring!! I used it myself to talk with my parents before, back in the future.

He had, and the nights he had spent with Harry were unforgettable.

You should call upon me by twisting the stone three times. I wonder if you’ve been looking for it, then again, that means you’ve thought about me since my death which makes me even happier.

If only Harry knew how much time Tom spent agonizing over the memories. He had not loved Harry, and he still did not, it was something purely else. Something much more powerful.

It was a possession over him, even when he was already gone, he yearned to keep him here. Harry had asked once about their Hogwarts friends, and Tom felt a sick sense of jealousy and possessiveness overcome him. He didn’t want Harry to talk to them or ever think of them again.

They didn’t matter, they didn’t know Harry like Tom did and they never would. They didn’t even remember him, of course, Harry already knew that. Yet Harry still wished for Tom to return their memories, Tom didn’t understand it.

Wasn’t he enough?

He sighed and rubbed at his forehead which had started to increasingly pound. He could feel Nagini slither closer to him, enjoying his warmth as he continued to read.

The letter came to a close with more praise and well wishes for both Tom himself and their friends.

And as always, he signed his letters off with;

I love you Tom,

Never forget that.

Always yours,
Harry.

‘’Always mine..’’

Tom would make sure that Harry’s parents grew up well without difficulty, which included watching over Lucius from time to time because Abraxas had so kindly asked him. Tom had only accepted because he had asked publically, and he wouldn’t be a good friend if he said no.

But it seemed that the child had taken to calling Tom uncle, much to his annoyance.

‘’Uncle Tom—’’

‘’I’m not your uncle.’’ He tutted, handing the boy a magical eraser to remove his spelling mistakes with.

Lucius had only pouted and continued to practice his writing.

It kept happening, so eventually Tom decided to put a stop to it. ‘’You ought to stop calling me your uncle, people will get the wrong idea.’’

Lucius groaned, balling his fists while rolling his eyes. ‘’But father said to!’’

Tom sighed, of course, it had all been Abraxas's idea. ‘’Your father is an idiot.’’

‘’Is not!’’

‘’Is.’’

‘’Is nott!!’’

Tom was going to kill Abraxas for dumping him with this annoying child.

Years passed, and James Potter met Lily Evans. Lucius had grown up to become a proper Malfoy with Tom as his godparent, yet the years didn’t seem to be kind to Abraxas, who was slowly succumbing to old age.

He didn’t know why, but the thought seemed to have surpassed him when he finally saw Abraxas for the first time in months. It hadn’t felt that long to Tom, Tom, who still looked like he was around twenty-five at best. Tom, who would forever remain the same age without passing on.

Time didn’t pass the same way for Tom as it did for the others, yet no one ever dared to ask how he had managed to look and behave so young.

No one escapes time, it delivers us all to the same end.
All, except for those who have broken their soul.

Lucius, how old was he now? He didn’t remember, nor did he quite care to. He knew Lucius and his wife, Narcissa Malfoy nee Black had been trying for a child, so he heard through the grapevine.

Lucius had become one of Tom’s assistants once Abraxas had retired to spend more time with his wife, which Tom had understood and like the merciful lord he was, gave him his time off.

There Tom stood before Abraxas’ bed. Abraxas was hooked up to all sorts of medical equipment, it reminded him too much of a familiar scene for his comfort.

‘’Out of all things, dragon pox? Really, Abraxas?’’

Abraxas smiled weakly, his older features finally dawning on Tom. ‘’Hi there, old friend.’’

Tom let out a deep breath at the sound of Abraxas’ scratchy voice. ‘’Hi, it’s been a while.’’

It was uncomfortable to see what Abraxas had turned into, what all his classmates had slowly been turning into. The past was slipping away from him, all the people from the past were dying.

Had it really been that long since Harry had died?

Abraxas’ funeral had been no better, and in his haste, he called Lucius by the wrong name. He would never forget the look of pain in his eyes, the pain that Tom had caused.

Surprisingly enough, he felt the small sting of guilt tingle in the back of his mind. A small part of him had grown fond of Lucius, he wasn’t nearly as useful as his father had once been, but Tom had seen him grow up for most of his life.

Harry must’ve been influencing him somehow because he was growing softer. Or maybe it was the age that brought on the sullen feelings?

Tom sighed, he’d have to find a way to make it up to Lucius somehow.

Days turned into months, and months turned into two years. Two years had passed, and Orion died, closely followed by Walburga who was stricken with grief.

Tom was the only one left.

There was no one left but him who carried the memories of Hogwarts, there was no one alive who carried the memories of the past like Tom did.

Tom had always thought that he didn’t mind being alone, but he had never truly felt so alone. Back when he was in the orphanage, he had never had people care for him or grow up with him, but now he had experienced it. And he craved it, he wanted it back.

It felt like the world was leaving him alone once again.

He was silently suffering, still working diligently as if nothing was happening.
And yet the world moved on. The world moved on from Harry’s death, nothing had stopped, just like the world didn’t stop for the death of Abraxas, Orion, or Walburga either.

Tom had been having a rough couple of days so he was happy that he’d finally get to see Harry today after a month. It had been precisely planned, today was Harry’s birthday. They met monthly on the same day, except for in July because then they met on the thirty-first.

Tom had been kept busy in his private life as well as in his work life, the funerals, and the birth of Draco Malfoy, Abraxas’ grandson all coming to a head.

He would get to see another boy he saw in Harry’s memories growing up in real time. It was as special as it was strange.

Harry should’ve been here with him to see this, Harry should’ve made a horcrux to stay alongside Tom if he really loved him.

But then again, he had died for Tom, so maybe their types of love were just different.

Tom sat down on his couch with a huff. He had picked out another muggle movie for the two to watch on the muggle device since Harry loved them so much. He was so excited to see the earlier models of the television that he demanded Tom buy one, and Tom was eager to satisfy his demand.

Like every year, he had gotten Harry a small piece of cake at his insistence because ‘’it wasn’t a birthday without cake!’’ according to Harry. He forced Tom to eat it because he himself couldn’t anymore.

Tom didn’t like sweets, but he ate them with Harry just to see that familiar smile on his face.

Harry had told him once that he hadn’t had a birthday cake until he was eleven, and ever since then Tom didn’t mind getting a cake just for him.

It must be strange for Harry to witness the birth of one of his future classmates. When Tom had told Harry that Narcissa Black, now Malfoy, had gotten pregnant he had a strange look on his face. It seemed nearly reminiscent of a past they might have once shared, of the many memories that Harry had created in his own Hogwarts era.

He wondered how Harry would respond to the news that he had been brought into the world already.

Harry’s birthday this year was extra special because even though this was one of Harry’s many birthdays, this was the day that the Harry James Potter of this era would be born.

It was a truly special occasion, and Tom had wanted to do so many special things with Harry, but Harry had asked to keep it simple.

Simple wasn’t something in Tom’s vocabulary, however, so he had offered to make another cake with Harry by scratch. He hadn’t actually baked before last month, but Penny taught him every step and now he could recreate a perfect cake with or without magic.

Even though Harry wouldn’t be tasting it, it had to be perfect.

Tom watched the clock tick for a moment, getting up with a sigh to feed Nagini her mice first. ‘’Precious?’’

Nagini got out of her hiding spot and slithered right towards him. ‘’Yes, master?’’ Nagini had gotten quite old, but seeing as she was a half-basilisk, she would have a longer life span than most snakes.

Tom was already looking for a spell to make her immortal, as immortal as he was. He couldn’t imagine living without her or the basilisk, they had become a part of his routine.

‘’I’ve gotten you some mice.’’ He walked towards the garden with Nagini happily following behind him. The garden was cased off with a few magical flowers here and there, mostly containing spider-lilies and a few other flowers and plants that Walburga had recommended years ago for his garden. Penny took care of them diligently so the garden was always in a good state and Nagini loved to sun out here.

Tom often released the mice out in the garden so Nagini could catch them and play a bit before eating them. Harry called him cruel for not killing the mice beforehand, but all good hunters need to get some exercise in. This was just a part of the dog-eat-dog world.

Tom snapped his fingers, and a large amount of mice appeared in the grass. ‘’Eat.’’

‘’Nagini is most grateful, thank you master.’’

Tom watched Nagini play for a moment, it was always nice to see Nagini enjoy herself. He knew he had a weird sense of attachment to the snake, weird to most people, but she was his familiar. He didn’t have that same bond with other animals.

People feared him for being Salazar Slytherin’s descendant, and bringing Nagini to work from time to time certainly didn’t help, but Tom reveled in it. He knew Harry looked down on it, but he enjoyed the looks of fear as he chatted with Nagini from time to time.

He enjoyed the weight of her on his neck or his arms, even though she had grown significantly from when she was just a hatchling.

He left the door on a crack for her to come back inside later, briefly greeting Penny as he returned to the couch.

It was almost their designated time and he could feel the adrenaline running in his bones, he always got like this when he was about to see Harry.

He had a pensieve in his house and he watched the memories about twice a week, if he did it any more then Harry would start to comment on it and an upset Harry was too much work to deal with, so he could deal with the wait in return.

A memory he had started visiting often was the kiss after they had finished flying, and it seemed that Harry had noticed because he was staring at Tom more often. Tom wished that even for one moment, he could touch Harry again.

But Harry was gone. Luckily his spirit was still tied to this earth as long as Tom kept calling on him.

Tom turned the stone three times and waited, closing his eyes as he always did when Harry came. He waited patiently for the familiar tingle of Harry’s diluted magic to appear, but he felt nothing.

He opened his eyes and looked around, wondering if Harry was playing another joke on him. He sighed and mumbled, ‘’Harry, I’m tired today. No games.’’

He gave him a few moments to show up, frowning when he didn’t immediately come. ‘’I’m gonna eat the cake without you and start that movie you were wanting to watch. It would be a shame if you missed out.’’

When Harry didn’t answer to his threat, a small part of Tom was starting to feel worried. Harry normally answered fairly quickly, even after he pulled a joke on Tom. Tom looked at the clock to see that a few minutes had passed already, but Harry hadn’t shown up yet.

He was going to give Harry an earful for this..

Tom could hear a faint knock on his window and a loud chirp. ‘’Lucius’ owl?’’ He stood up and opened the window, taking it from the owl. ‘’I told him not to send me any owls tonight.’’

The owl chirped defiantly, gently biting at Tom’s fingers. ‘’Stop that, go back to your owner.’’

She screeched before flying back to the Malfoy Manor. Tom glanced at the letter, it was an official postage so probably something work-related. He was going to scold multiple people at this rate..

He threw the letter on his coffee table and sat back down on the couch, taking a deep breath. This was no cause for panic, Harry was simply playing a game with him.

Tom didn’t like games when he wasn’t the mastermind behind them.

He turned the ring again, calling his name. ‘’Harry, come here.’’

Tom could distantly hear Nagini slither her way back inside, but he didn’t greet her like he usually did. Tom’s mind was racing, glancing at the clock impatiently.

There was.. no way.

Harry wouldn’t do this, Harry wouldn’t let him wait twenty minutes for a simple prank. Harry was above that.

Where was Harry?

Why isn’t he here with Tom, celebrating his birthday?

Tom eyed the letter on the table suspiciously, barely conscious of his surroundings as his shaking hands grabbed the letter. Nagini laid on his lap, neatly curling herself into a ball.

He ripped the envelope, pulling out the letter with shaky hands.

It couldn’t be, it couldn’t. That didn’t make sense, it didn’t.

Tom kept repeating the mantra in his head, but a part of him knew that it did make sense. He should’ve seen it coming.

It was as much of a surprise to see a picture of baby Harry in the letter as it had been expected. He dropped the letter, his mouth falling agape.

‘’Oh, Merlin..’’

He turned the stone again multiple times in a row, ‘’Fuck!’’

He turned it again and again, his breathing becoming heavy as he grasped the letter.

My lord,

Harry James Potter was born earlier this evening healthy as can be.

See the attachment.----

There was more to the letter but Tom threw it aside, glancing at the picture that had fallen on the couch.

‘’Harry..’’

It all made so much sense now, his heart burned. His lungs felt constricted and he had to check if Nagini was choking him, surprised to find her on his lap at all. She quickly moved to his neck when she noticed his distress, but he couldn’t make out the words she said.

It all made so much sense.

Why hadn’t he figured it out earlier?

How couldn’t he have foreseen this? He should’ve never let this happen, he should’ve–he should’ve created a string of accidents so that Harry would never be reborn.

Anything to keep his Harry here, he would’ve done anything. Now he was gone again.

His soul had left to make room for the new. There couldn’t be two Harry James Potter’s, not in the land of the living nor awaiting judgement.

Harry was gone, his Harry was gone.

Truly gone now.

He would never see him again, he wouldn’t ever get to laugh with him or listen to his stories, or listen to his voice ever again, distorted or not.

Now all he truly had were his memories. He hated himself for allowing James and Lily to get together, he hated himself for letting Harry slip through his fingers again.

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

He was all alone again.

Tom yelped out of surprise when Nagini bit down on his neck, his breathing calmed down and he looked at Nagini with surprise.

‘’Nagini..?’’ His voice was hoarse and painful, and distantly he could feel his eyes stinging. He was slowly coming back to his senses, the blurry world around him coming back into focus as the oxygen filled his body.

‘’Master wasn’t breathing properly. Nagini is sorry.’’

He sighed, petting his familiars head gently. ‘’It’s.. alright.’’

Nagini licked at his cheek, licking at the salty.. tears?

Tom touched his face hesitantly, surprised to feel that his cheeks were wet with tears. He blinked and wiped at his eyes.

That would explain the blurry vision.

He felt lightheaded as if he was about to float away.

How long had it been since he last cried? Primary school maybe, if not sooner.

He took a moment to calm down, grabbing the polaroid that had now fallen to the ground. He took a deep breath and grabbed the cake on the coffee table, slowly grabbing a piece with his fork and dryly chewing it.

It tasted worse than normal, the sweetness of the cake tasted entirely overwhelming. He wanted to throw up so badly, but he couldn’t.

What use was there anymore?

‘’Happy birthday, my Harry.’’