Archive of Our Own

Just got off the plane
_From Yoshiki

Waiting for ya at the airport
_From Hikaru

Will join ya once i get my luggage
_From Yoshiki

'Hikaru' smiled at the text, it has been two years since they last met. They shared calls from now and then but didn't see one another this whole period. 'Hikaru' was looking forward to meet him.

"Long time no see ."

'Hikaru' turned around to find Yoshiki there, feets away from him, wearing his small smile, waving at him with one hand, the other holding his suitcase.

In less than a second, Yoshiki found himself in 'Hikaru's tight embrace, resting his free hand on 'Hikaru's back to gently rub it.

"Don't be getting all emotional on me now ."

"Can't help it ! I missed ya !!"

'Hikaru' pulled away to have a proper look at Yoshiki's features, grabbing cheeks between his hands.

"Ya sure grew !"

"So did ya ."

"Ya didn't lose yer accent ."

'Hikaru' who was now, the same height as Yoshiki, pulled away and took the luggage from Yoshiki's hand, despite his protests.

"Ya got the backpack, so imma take this one ."

Yoshiki gave in, following him out of the Airport to 'Hikaru' truck, which he used for his job. They put the suitcase in the back of the van then got inside. They needed over an hour to get from the city to their village so they had all the time to reminisce about the past.

"Ya got yer ear pierced ?"

"Yep, suits me ?"

"It does, bet yer mom complained ."

'Hikaru' grinned at the compliment, then was his turn to point out the obvious difference in Yoshiki's looks after he took off his hat. He didn't hesitate to touch dark hair.

"Ya don't hide yer eyes behind yer bangs anymo- heeeey !!! What's up with the bun ?!"

"Didn't have time to trim it is all, no need to overreact ."

"I'm overreacting cause it suits ya !"

"He didn't change at all ..." Yoshiki touched his own bun, pointing at the road when 'Hikaru' kept glancing at him while driving.

"What the hell ? Ya look like one of those male idols now ."

"Ya also changed yer hairstyle ."

"Yea, got an undercut, it's hella warm in here, suits me ?"

"It does ."

It was too warm indeed. Yoshiki opened the window, feeling the soft breeze push his hair back to reveal his forehead, letting a hand out to feel the wind on his skin while listening to 'Hikaru's question.

"Did ya get yer driving license ?"

"I did, but i'd rather not be on the wheel, never got the chance to drive in Tokyo ."

"Want me to teach ya while yar here ?"

"I wanna rest ... i'll leave the driving to ya ."

'Hikaru' laughed, questioning him about his job next, he wanted to know every little detail about the years he didn't get to spend with him.

"Won't lie this first year was tough at the company, but at least i'm working in my field now ."

"Bet ya had a hard time getting vacations ."

"They worked me to the bone this last month but let's not talk about it, i'm here now is all that matters, how about yer business ?"

"Same as always, i did all the learning the first year, since then it became a routine ."

Yoshiki found himself glancing at that shiny earring multiple times, it did compliment 'Hikaru's features perfectly.

"How's everyone ?"

"Last time i talked with them, Asako and Yuuki moved to Hokkaido, they're living together ."

'Hikaru' paused for a second then resumed his talking.

"Maki on the other hand got it pretty bad, he started a business but it didn't go well, he was in a relationship but it didn't end well, he's now taking a break from it all, he was on a trip last time i heard from him ."

"I'm sure he'll come back in no time with a new crush and a new business, Maki has always been that type of guy ."

"Who knows ... everyone's growing, even Kaoru who was so little is getting married tomorrow ."

"She is, time sure flies ..."

The landscape was changing, they were approaching their destination. Nostalgia was hitting in as Yoshiki started to recognize the roads but 'Hikaru's gentle tap on his shoulder brought him back to reality.

"How about ya ? Was sure Kaoru's marriage would encourage ya to bring some cute girlfriend and announce yer own engagement ."

"That's never happening ."

""Yar saying ya don't have a secret girlfriend in Tokyo ? No way ."

"I can't have a girlfriend, i'm gay ."

... and they almost crashed-

'Hikaru' slammed on the brakes with all his might to get the truck to stop after he lost control over it.

"What was that about ????"

"Yar the one who said that outta nowhere !"

Both needed a while to catch their breaths, 'Hikaru' needing a longer time to get over his shock, realizing that Yoshiki has been silent this whole time, probably waiting for a comment from him.

"I mean- i kinda figured long ago, ya never were interested in girls like everyone else, but i didn't expect ya to say it .."

"I learned to be more open about it in Tokyo, there is no changing it so i might as well embrace it ..."

"Glad to see ya accepting it ."

'Hikaru' glanced at Yoshiki multiple times, rolling the words in his mouth, until he let them out-

"Then a cute boyfriend-"

"I knew ya would say that but no, i don't have one ."

"Why ?? Ya didn't find anyone with the same tastes ?"

"There are plenty, but i was too busy studying and working, i had no time for relationships ."

"Not like i would get in one with anyone else anyway .." Yoshiki kept this part in his mind, opting to turn the attention to the one driving, he was done talking about himself.

"How about ya ? Is yer mom pressing ya to get married ?"

"She is ! She won't get that i'm not interested, i even thought of showing her that i'm no human to convince her ."

"Please don't do that .."

The two of them smiled, now in their village, remembering the old days.

"Imma stop by my place first, mom insisted to see ya ."

'Hikaru's mother was as excited as her son, walking out of the house as soon as she heard the truck stopping by.

"Yoshiki-chan, it has been so long since ya last came back ."

Yoshiki walked out of the truck and gave her a hug, thanking her for her compliments with a bashful smile.

"Look at ya, ya became such a handsome man, is it going all well in Tokyo ?"

"Yes, i have a place to live in and a job so it is all fine ."

"Then it is time for ya to get a beautiful wife and make yer parents happy with some adorable grandkids ."

"Sure ..."

Yoshiki didn't want to oppose her, hearing 'Hikaru's laughs behind him, he still was in the truck. Though those laughs faded away right as his mother spoke again.

"I'm sure ya'd make yer parents proud unlike Hikaru, he keeps breaking my heart, i kept telling him about Kaoru-chan, i'm sure this would make both families happy but he didn't want to, and now even she is getting married, he's hopeless, please talk to him and bring some sense back to his mind, he would listen if it's you ."

Back inside the van, silence reigned, Yoshiki speaking up when he was finally done processing what he just heard.

"So yer mom wanted ya to marry Kaoru-"

"Don't mention it ! I don't even know where she comes up with these ideas ... the day i found out Kaoru got engaged i felt happier than her and her partner, mom'd finally shut up about it ."

Yoshiki laughed, a fake laugh, laying his face on the palm of his hand as he watched students walk back from School, he couldn't help but see his and 'Hikaru's shadows through them. Good old days.

Yoshiki's place wasn't that far from 'Hikaru's, he soon noticed his family waiting for him by the door of their house, impatient to see him.

The moment he stepped out of the truck, they were hugging him, telling him how much he was missed.

"Let's not stay by the door, come in ."

"Ya go first, i'll bring my luggage and follow ya ."

Both parents and Kaoru walked inside the house after thanking 'Hikaru' for driving their son from the Airport. Yoshiki then turned to the truck, finding 'Hikaru' with both his backpack and suitcase, taking them from him.

"Ya also come in ."

"Nah, y'all will be spending some time as a family so i'll step back for now-"

"Yar saying that as if ya aren't part of the family ."

"That was back when ya were around, go in now ."

'Hikaru' gave him a little push on the shoulder, urging him to walk inside the house.

"See ya ."

"I'll call ya later ."

"It makes sense, with time nothing stays the same ..." Yoshiki didn't walk in until the truck left.

☆

"I should have joined him ..." still in that same futon, in that same room, nothing changed for 'Hikaru'. It was night time, he was rolling in his bed, not able to make up his mind "But i don't wanna take away from his time with his family !!"

The sound of a notification startled him. He checked his phone, it was a text from Yoshiki Wanna come over and spend some time together

"I want ! I WANT !" He was about to jump from his futon and storm there but his previous thoughts averted him from doing so, yet again rolling in his bed "I wanna go but i can't ..."

He wasn't sure how to reply to the text, thus why he opted to act like he didn't see it, luckily he didn't click on the notification so Yoshiki wouldn't know he read it "It's okay .. i'll just see him tomorrow in the wedding ..."

"Even though i miss him so much ..."

Those last words were spoken out loud, 'Hikaru' quickly covering his mouth as if afraid anyone would hear him. He froze for a second when Yoshiki's name appeared on his phone screen, he was calling him.

"I can at least hear his voice ..." he didn't think of ignoring the call as he did with the text, he did miss him.

"Hey ..."

" 'Hikaru', ya at home ?"

"Yeah, in my room .."

"Then come out ."

"Come out ?????" 'Hikaru's suspicions were right, he found Yoshiki right there, by the door to his place, waiting for him and waving at him once he noticed him.

"Ya were busy ?"

"I wasn't ..."

By the look he was given, 'Hikaru' knew he had to explain himself regarding the text, and he was never one to lie to Yoshiki.

"I wanted to see ya but i didn't wanna bother ya while ya were with yer family, so i didn't know what to reply ..."

"All are sleeping now so ya don't have to feel like yar stealing me from them ."

The two chuckled, 'Hikaru' following Yoshiki out to the empty dark roads of their village, walking side by side.

"Wanna have a drink ?"

"Nah, i got a wedding to attend tomorrow, i'd rather be sober ."

"It's true ya don't hold yer liquor at all ."

"Yar the one who never gets drunk ."

They headed out of the village, now walking between grass fields, the starry sky and shiny moon being their only company.

"How is it going ? With the impurities ."

"There are none, they haven't appeared since then ."

"And ... yer insides, they haven't been acting up ?"

"Not at all. I'm the most human i could ever be ."

Yoshiki let out a sigh of relief, not expecting 'Hikaru's next joke.

"Tho i wouldn't mind mixing up now and then- kidding~"

Deep inside, Yoshiki knew 'Hikaru' wasn't joking, but he had other matters to focus on, the wedding wasn't the only reason he came back.

"Then, what are yer future plans ?"

"Plans ..."

Yoshiki walked few steps then turned to look at the one who stopped, seeing how 'Hikaru' used his hand to scratch the back of his head, wearing an apologetic smile.

"I don't think i got such a thing ..."

Silence followed, 'Hikaru' knew Yoshiki was giving him all the time he needed to pour his thoughts and feelings out.

"I mean ... the only reason i became what i am was Hikaru's dying wish, so that i stay with ya, so that ya won't be lonely ... so things like, studying in College and getting a good job the way ya did, or moving to a new city the way Asako and Yuuki did, or even, trying new things and failing the way Maki did, those are things that don't even cross my mind, i have nothing such as a dream, or a goal, the way y'all do ..."

'Hikaru' held tight on his shirt, right on top of his chest, while wearing the most miserable smile.

"Guess, no matter how much i try to adapt, to blend in, to lie to myself, in the end, i remain nothing but a monster ."

Comforting lines, soothing words, 'Hikaru' wanted none of that kindness, he would always believe he didn't deserve it, he made quick steps, walking past Yoshiki as he returned his question.

"How about ya ? What's the next step ?"

"Me ? Settling down and having a family is all that's left i guess ."

'Hikaru' was taken aback, putting any sadness he was about to feel aside, replacing it with shock and excitement.

"So yar getting married ???"

"I wish, sadly, gay marriage ain't allowed in Japan ."

"Then what are ya gonna do ?"

"I might not get the blessings of any shrine or church but that won't stop me from finding happiness ."

"So ya got someone on yer mind-" 'Hikaru' did not want to ask that question, he did not want to know his answer, he may have been able to fake nonchalance about this topic in the truck but he could do no more of that.

"That's the Yoshiki i know ! To hell the shrines ! I don't like them either, just make it a small ceremony or dinner in some random place that ain't holy so that i could come ."

"Yeah already planned to do that ."

Yoshiki took a second to imagine 'Hikaru's  reaction to what he was about to say then spoke with a grin.

"Ya aren't invited tho-"

"What- what do ya mean i'm not invited ?!"

"So ya wouldn't mind coming ?"

" 'f course i don't mind-"

"As ?"

"As ??"

'Hikaru' was confused, especially when Yoshiki turned to face him, seriousness taking over his laughers from earlier.

"Ya don't mind coming as ?"

"As ... a guest ?"

'Hikaru' wasn't sure he gave the good answer and Yoshiki's reply did confirm that indeed, he did not give the right answer.

"Then ya aren't coming ."

"But why-"

"Ya changed, 'Hikaru' ."

Any words he was about to say were forgotten. 'Hikaru' looked at him, at those serious, yet always so full of gentleness eyes.

"Back in the day, ya would never be okay with that ..."

'Hikaru' averted his gaze, he knew what was coming.

"Back in the day, ya would want me to stay with ya only, ya wouldn't want to share-"

"Isn't it late for this talk ? We've been apart for many years, so what's the use in questioning whatever i want now ?"

The grass seemed so interesting to look at- or no, 'Hikaru' simply didn't want to lock gazes with Yoshiki, holding tight on the edges of his t-shirt.

"I also .. did a lot of growing up, y'know ."

Yoshiki thought of everything that last sentence meant, then he smiled, walking closer to the one who wouldn't look at him.

"Did ya know ? Maturing is something humans do ."

'Hikaru' did get that Yoshiki was referencing their previous talk, with him calling himself a monster- though he was given no time to process it further, Yoshiki was on his right, leaning his head to the side while pointing at 'Hikaru's chest.

"But ya don't have to be all mature around me, ya can be a teen again, all selfish again, tell me, what's one wish ya got on yer heart ?"

"I don't have a heart ..."

Yoshiki's smile didn't fade away, long gone are the days in which he would freak out when he wouldn't feel a pulse on 'Hikaru's chest. He kept his silence, urging him to give an answer.

"I ... the one wish i got ... why do i have to say it ? If ya want me to say mine ya say yours first !"

This was nothing but 'Hikaru's miserable attempt to dodge Yoshiki's question, and he really believed him when he heard him say.

"My wish ? I'll tell you what it is ."

'Hikaru' was impatient, his non existent heart skipped a beat, until Yoshiki added while walking away.

"But now is not the right time ."

"What- ya gotta be kiddin' me !!!!"

He went after him, the two of them carrying their stroll, 'Hikaru' soon spotting a convenience store and an idea crossed his mind.

He told Yoshiki to wait for him there and headed to said store, coming back after few moments with a popsicle, which they shared together.

"Just like the old days, right ?"

"The nostalgia's hittin' good ."

'Hikaru' smiled, bringing the cold popsicle to his mouth, adding in a whisper.

"That is one wish i got on my heart ..."

Yoshiki did hear him, he felt like melting at such an innocent wish, just like the popsicle in his hand, all while he watched 'Hikaru's popsicle disappear into his mouth.

"Apparently, sucking on a popsicle is gay ."

"Why ?"

"Nevermind-"

☆

One last check up on his looks, being satisfied with how he turned out, and 'Hikaru' hopped off the van with his mother.

Because the family of the groom were Christians, the wedding was held in a Church. 'Hikaru' was a little nervous as he was about to walk inside, luckily, he wasn't denied entrance to this holy place.

"Only them shrines got beef with me-" 'Hikaru' let out a snicker, walking by his mother's side, not listening to her words at all.

"I'll be checking all the younger girls among the guests to find one for ya to marry, 'Hikaru', that one for example, isn't she pretty ? I'll ask her family about her ."

How could he ever listen to her words ? Or look at whatever she was pointing at ? When his eyes wouldn't part of Yoshiki, as if, he only had eyes for him.

"Shit-" it was a reflex, the moment their gazes met, he glanced away, his cheeks painted in pink "I can't be acting like a highschooler seeing his crush for the first time, gotta calm down ..."

The more time he was spending with him, the harder it was for 'Hikaru' to fake it "Ain't no reason for me to get my hopes up ... and stop overreacting ! He's just walking to me goddamn it !"

He may not have a heart, but his insides still reacted when Yoshiki joined him, holding 'Hikaru's elbow with no warning and pulling him away from the entrance.

"Let's stand in that empty corner ."

'Hikaru', still not sure how to act around him, forgot all about it when he noticed Yoshiki's hair.

"Where did yer bun go ?!!!!!!"

"Kaoru forced me into a haircut ... she's been learning from my mom and asked to let her do whatever she wanted with my hair as her wedding gift ."

"For real ?? Well ... ya look handsome with the wolfcut too, specially with the black suit and tie ."

"Yer light grey suit looks good on ya too ."

"Just wore the trousers and vest, left the tie and jacket in the truck, i couldn't even bother tuck the shirt inside the pants .."

"I get ya, it's too warm in here, will probably get rid of my jacket later as well ."

All of 'Hikaru's anxiety from earlier faded away, the groom seemed to have taken all of it, with how stressed he looked.

'Hikaru' laughed at him, using his elbow to poke the one standing by his side.

"Isn't it time we warn the groom about what's gonna happen to him if he ever makes Kaoru cry ?"

"Give him a break he already looks like a nervous wreck, plus i talked to him earlier, he seemed like a sweetheart ."

"Aren't ya worried for Kaoru, as her Onii-chan~"

Yoshiki knew 'Hikaru' was just looking for an excuse to call him Onii-chan he let him have his fun, smiling as he stared at everyone taking their seats.

"I trust she made the right choice ."

'Hikaru' was about to follow the guests and sit wherever he found a free spot but Yoshiki held him back by his wrist, pulling him to sit behind everyone else.

He didn't question it, he was busy staring at the door, waiting for Kaoru to come in.

"Bet yer mom's gonna cry ."

"Doubt she will, dad's more likely to cry ."

Both laughed, all sound in the room fading away when Kaoru walked in wearing her beautiful wedding gown, hand wrapped around her father's elbow.

The veil might be covering her face but Yoshiki could imagine the way she was pursing her lips, both from nervousness and excitement. He couldn't stop himself from drawing his gaze to the one sitting by his side, who looked just as excited, and happy for Kaoru.

"What an awful older brother i am ..." Yoshiki couldn't help but laugh at himself, his little sister was about to get married, yet all he had on his mind was what he was about to do.

"They look so happy together ."

'Hikaru' watched as Yoshiki's dad gave his daughter's hand to her soon-to-be husband, turning his attention to the one on his left when he heard his question.

"What is happiness to ya, 'Hikaru' ?"

It didn't seem like the best time for such a philosophical question. 'Hikaru' answered it nevertheless, wearing his most genuine smile.

"Yer happiness's my happiness ."

"What did i even expect ..." Yoshiki let out a sigh, half exasperated, half relieved, he felt himself relax on his seat.

"I may be the human between us yet i could never be as pure as ya're ."

"Who are ya calling pure ??"

'Hikaru' never thought he would ever hear anyone describe him as pure, considering what he was, now listening to both the Priest talk and Yoshiki whisper.

"I'm nothing but a selfish prick anyway ."

"Ain't nothing wrong about being selfish ."

Yoshiki leaned closer, startling 'Hikaru' who now had all his attention on him.

"I gotta apologize to ya, yer happiness alone ain't enough to make me happy ."

'Hikaru' wondered what Yoshiki's words meant, his eyes slowly drifting down to what was in Yoshiki's hand. And he forgot how to breathe.

"Ya gotta be happy with me ."

Yoshiki opened the little box in his hand, his own heart almost bursting out, as he finally confessed.

"I want us to be happy together, 'Hikaru' ."

As if they weren't inside a Church,in the middle of a wedding, with the Priest talking, Yoshiki's mom sobbing, she did cry after all.

To them, there was no sound, there was no one around. Only 'Hikaru's voice echoed in Yoshiki's ears, on his heartstrings.

"I want that too ."

Those were the only words 'Hikaru' had to say, the only words Yoshiki needed to hear.

For those few following seconds, they felt as if they were on cloud nine, in their seventh heaven, only the two of them, in pure bliss.

The sudden words of the Priest pulled them out of their revery, he was citing the vows and they liked to believe the part he reached was aimed to the two of them.

         “Do you take this man for your lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part ?”

"I do ."

Both vowed simultaneously, smiling at each other. They waited until the Priest mentioned the rings for Yoshiki to take the ring in the box, blushing as he held 'Hikaru's hand, putting it around his ring finger.

"Wanna .. put this ring on me as well ?"

Yoshiki did prepare a matching ring for himself, which 'Hikaru' took and put around Yoshiki's ring finger, giving him such a loving gaze, yet always seeming so hesitant.

"Am i really allowed to-"

"Of course you're ."

Yoshiki held his hand tight, he didn't want him to feel insecure, or have any doubts, he returned the loving gaze a million times stronger, biting his bottom lip as he heard the Priest asking the bride and groom to have their kiss.

He leaned down, using the people sitting in front of them as a cover. He didn't think it through, exchanging the rings was all he planned, but 'Hikaru' following him, leaning down as well told him everything he needed to know.

Kaoru and her now husband shared their kiss, everyone in the Church cheering for them. All while, in complete secrecy, Yoshiki and 'Hikaru' sealed their own vows, with the gentlest kiss.

Everyone stood up, cheering and congratulating the newly weds who walked between the seats, heading to the door.

'Hikaru' and Yoshiki stood up as well, blushing as their fingers touched, as if they weren't kissing behind everyone's backs moments ago. 'Hikaru' glanced down at the shiny silver ring around his finger, he felt like screaming out in joy.

"The Priest has no idea he just gave his blessings to a gay marriage too ."

"So it was a marriage ..." 'Hikaru' knew, he wasn't that childish, non-human teen anymore, but still- having Yoshiki call it that made his non existent heart flutter.

"I'd have put more effort into my looks if i knew i was .. getting married too-"

"No need, ya already are perfect the way you're ."

'Hikaru' grabbed tight on his vest and shirt, right on top of his chest "I can't handle honest Yoshiki !!!" He didn't notice all the girls walking past them and Yoshiki was no different, having all his attention on his own groom until-

"Hey- watch out ."

'Hikaru's body acted without a second thought, grabbing what was thrown towards them and was about to land on Yoshiki's face.

"Aren't those, Kaoru's flowers ?"

'Hikaru' was confused, wondering why all the girls were giving him the side eye, while Yoshiki noticed his sister all the way back, smiling at him.

The flowers were snatched from 'Hikaru', he having no idea what all that meant.

"What was that about ?"

"It's a tradition for the bride to throw her flowers and whoever catches the bouquet will be the next to get married ."

'Hikaru' blushed at Yoshiki's explanation, letting out a chuckle as he felt the ring he was wearing.

"That was pretty accurate then ."

Yoshiki knew it wasn't a coincidence, grabbing 'Hikaru' by the hand and pulling him to the newly weds.

"Let's congratulate them ."

They were soon facing the bride and groom and Kaoru did not miss their intertwined hands, or matching rings.

"Congratulations, Kaoru, i wish ya all the happiness in the world ."

"What happiness are ya talking about ? Ya already took all of it, leave some to us ."

Kaoru laughed, her husband confused, Yoshiki did not argue, knowing his sister figured it all out, while 'Hikaru' wasn't sure talking of this was okay, opting to change the topic as he addressed the groom.

"Ya better never make Kaoru cry, okay ??"

"I- i will never !"

The siblings laughed, both holding their partners hands tight.

Yoshiki may be human, 'Hikaru' non human, their parents may not allow it, their society may not accept it, they may have to go through a lot of challenges, they may have to face a lot of obstacles.

But at that moment, all that mattered, was their happiness together.