Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Hope not for stability, the world is cruel and the forest knows nothing but how to take. Hope not for love either; the feelings of the foolish. Only hope for warmth, for that is all you will be given.

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He could feel the cold snow in between his hooves as he walked behind the large stag. It was soft and crunched beneath him. That was the only sound in the woods. It was quiet without him. He wished he was quiet; silent. But he was not, he was not the twinkling of leaves in spring but rather the crunch of them in autumn. He wasn't the spring shower. He was the thunderstorm. He was loud and curious, and for deer, that was a transgression.

The back of the large stag in front of him was imposing but he was quiet. He was after all the Great Prince. He was also his father but he hadn't dared to call him that, even in his own head. It seemed like such a demeaning title; to simply be his father. There was nothing of pride in that, nothing of merit. There was nothing to boast about being Bambi's father. If there was, then he would've been at his birth, at his learning, at anything other than his mother's death. 

He had told him that he wouldn't see his mother again and Bambi became overcome with grief. So much so that he couldn't cry. His heart sank and he wanted the cold dead earth to swallow him so that he could be with his mother once more. They would be warm under the soil and he would lie on her stomach like a newborn. He would be covered with her scent and they would play forever. However, he followed the stag called his father to wherever he would take him. He would rather that than remain where he could smell her warm body.

" We have arrived. " A gruff deep voice snapped him out of his thoughts. He glanced at the Great Prince.  Then to the dense thicket in front of him. They were very deep inside the forest, further than he had ever been. He had not paid any attention to their path and hadn't thought of their destination. He doubted that the thicket in front of him was where the Great Prince dwelled. He was proved correct when he called out for someone.

"Nettla!"

" Pipe down! Honestly, It's the middle of the night. "

An old doe appeared out of the thicket. Bambi was shocked, he didn't know that one could speak to the Great Prince that way. It seemed the old doe had no fears. She walked with a slight tiredness as if her body was weighing down on her. Her coat was slightly dull but she had a gleam in her eyes and a fire in the way she spoke. She seemed old, perhaps even older than anyone he had ever seen.

" Well now, what is the meaning of this?"

Her angry gaze softened when it fell onto Bambi. She seemed to pity him just by looking at him. Perhaps his state or perhaps, his very being was pitiful. She looked at him empathetically. Then a huff of warm air left her nose in a white cloud into the frigid winter air. 

" Dearie, why don't you get inside while we talk?"

He hesitated going in. He wanted to listen, to stay by the stag. He barely knew the old doe, but in all fairness, he barely knew the Great Prince either. 

" Go in. "

He quickly followed the orders of the stag. That deep voice, that demanded authority from everyone, pierced through his reluctance and shredded his hesitance. He crouched into the thicket, it was warm and covered by the dense foliage of that part of the woods. It seemed safe, so far away from where he had come from. He laid there soaking up the heat and trying to listen in to the conversation at the entrance. 

"His mother was killed."

The words made him want to run into the meadow and cry out. To roll on the ground and mourn so deeply that the forest would have no choice but to take him as well. He knew but it still hurt to hear the words said out loud.

" I haven't taken care of a fawn in so long, you know that... And he is yours, isn't he? "

" Nettla, that is not important. I implore you, take care of him. If not for me, then for the forest... He is a prince. "

The stag's tone was borderline pleading. It was a sharp contrast from his usual dominant and authoritarian tone. 

" Great Prince, I- "

" It is your duty. "

Nettla seemed more subdued after that. There was no other way, the stag was stubborn if nothing else. But he was hurting, and was determined to not let anyone close enough to see it. 

" Okay then, Great Prince. " 

Bambi felt his heart drop. He knew the stag would not stay with him but he still had held on to hope; a foolish thing. He could feel his heart threaten to break out of its cage and fall to the hard ground, but he managed to hold the fragile muscle back. He then heard the sound of hooves moving away and they were soft and quiet. 

" I'm sorry. "

Nettla finished off before the stag made his way into the forest. His form then disappeared into the birch and oak. His tracks were hidden by the falling snow and his scent by the ever evolving winter wind. In a moment, it was as if he had never been there; the forest had taken its prince. All that was left behind, the only sign of his visit, was the offspring he had left behind. 

The offspring of his beloved. The offspring that he left behind because he was afraid to lose him as well, as if his absence had saved the last one he loved from death. Nettla saw into his facade, she had crossed the fence made by his antlers and the raging river of his authority and seen into his being; the young fawn shoved with so many responsibilities that he had to grow before he was ready to. She apologised for his loss, and more so for the fawn pretending to be a prince so often that he had forgotten himself.

She made her way inside the thicket where the young prince was facing away from the entrance. He had heard everything. She sighed and laid beside him. He was too young for what had happened to him. 

" I'm sorry."

Bambi managed to say what he had been thinking. He was sorry for being a burden. He wasn't wanted by his father and caused his mother's death. He was sorry for being thrust onto someone who would be better off without him.

" Whatever for?"

Nettla let out a soft sound of pity at the fawn. He was blaming himself for Man's evil and his father's problems. 

"Everything." 

" You don't have anything to apologize for. Let us sleep, we shall talk more tomorrow. I am quite old, you know."

Bambi let out a small huff that sounded like a laugh. He couldn't see why the old doe, Nettla, was so kind to him. How could she not want to throw him out into the cold. However, he was tired and decided to rest. He would find out her intentions at dawn. 

🌼

Death sheds the blood of the womb.

Sunlight was gleaming in between the tree branches onto the snow covered ground. The snow had started to melt and give rise to small patches of grass and clover. The cold winter draft blew into the forest causing the bare trees to shake. Some of the forest animals were still in deep slumber waiting for the warm rays of spring. The icicles that had formed were starting to melt and filled the forest with the slow drip-dropping of water. Buds had begun appearing and the air was getting warmer.

It was nearing dusk and the night beings were already moving out of their burrows, thickets and holes ready for the hunt or forage. Two deer, a doe and fawn, were making their way across the forest. The doe seemed exasperated with the fawn while the fawn was slightly excited.

" Stay close to me. "

Bambi was excited and extremely nervous. They were going to see his Aunt Ena and her fawns. He had met her once in the meadow and had played with Faline. According to Nettla, she was his mother's sister and she had another child who was sickly, named Gobo. He was quite sorry for Gobo, despite never having met him, because he could not imagine not being able to run around. It seemed like such a dull life. He also couldn't imagine having a sister. Thumper had often told him that it was a terrible fate, but then again Thumper often exaggerated things. Whilst thinking of Thumper, he realised he missed his friends. He would perhaps visit, later on.

He had stayed with Nettla for over two weeks and was convinced she was not planning to abandon him in the middle of the woods. They had gotten quite used to each other. They ate, talked, slept and played (if playing was Bambi ran shortly while Nettla made snarky comments every now and then).  They rarely talked about personal matters. Bambi was still reserved but he was slowly getting used to his new life. There was something someone couldn't get back after an encounter with death. His early joy had diminished and there was only so much of it that could be back with time. 

They followed the trail left by deer before them and made it into a small clearing where Aunt Ena and her fawns were eating. Faline and Gobo were the first to notice them and Faline ran out to them while Gobo hid behind his mother's legs. 

" Oh Bambi! It has been so long. How have you been? I heard about the horrid news -"

Bambi was about to interrupt her. He had nothing against Faline but he did not want to hear of his mother's death again. All of a sudden his excitement for the visit washed away, he would've preferred to stay by Nettla's thicket. However, Nettla came to his rescue when she interrupted the young fawn.

" Where are your manners young one? Do you just jump to your friends and not greet the elderly. "

Faline seemed to withdraw and formally greeted Nettla. 

" Good afternoon Nettla."

"That’s Aunt Nettla to you. "

Faline gave out a huff of frustration at that and mumbled something that was possibly very inappropriate but Nettla was already making her way to Aunt Ena. Bambi, on the other hand, let out a soft huff of amusement, which caused Faline to send a sharp glare his way. That caused yet another soft laugh to escape him. That caused Faline to walk away and towards her mother. Bambi knew Nettla was just being herself, sour, but she never had a problem with Bambi calling her by her name. He hoped that meant she liked him, even a little.

He made his way to Nettla's side where she had already greeted Aunt Ena. 

" Hello Bambi. " 

She spoke softly and carefully. She carried a mixture of empathy and grief in her eyes. It must have been difficult to hear about the loss of your sister without being able to see her. 

" Hello Aunt Ena."

He returned the greeting politely. He was glad she didn't speak of his mother. He would one day want to hear from her but at that moment, he wanted to grieve peacefully and silently, alone. 

Aunt Ena then looked to her side where Gobo was hiding and urged him to greet the visitors to which he emerged bashfully.

" Good afternoon Aunt Nettla. Good afternoon Bambi. "

His voice was soft and like the wind blowing through hollow branches. It also held an air of illness that seemed to surround him. They both replied with Nettla adding, " Well would you look at that. At least this one has manners. "

which caused Faline to send a glare her way, then to Bambi, who laughed slightly and even to Gobo who let out a small wheeze that sounded like a laugh.

" Well, we were just eating. Would you like to join us for some conifers? "

They had eaten a little before going but conifers were difficult to find in their side of the forest. So they joined them and talked about mundane things like the meadow, the animals of the forest and wood's gossip in general. Bambi mostly listened with slight nods and grunts of affirmation. He observed the other deer in relative silence. He noticed Faline was energetic and quite loud and abrasive. She reminded him of Thumper with the way she spoke impulsively.

She was also quite perceptive and didn't speak of his mother at all after that. Gobo, on the other hand, was the opposite of his sister. Perhaps due to illness, he didn't speak often and even when he did, it was after careful consideration. But anyone could see that they loved each other. When one spoke, the other listened almost reverentially. 

Bambi didn't notice night creeping in until the crickets began their night song. He glanced down to see one of them right by his foot. He leaned down to listen to one part of the melodious symphony that they played for the forest at night. The cricket stopped when he saw Bambi's head moving closer to him.

" I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you. I just meant to listen more closely. "

The cricket gathered himself upon hearing the apology. All creatures of the forest knew the princes of the forest. Most of them barely talked to the critters so the cricket was mighty pleased to garner the attention of the young prince.

" Well then, I shall continue playing if you shan't mind. "

Bambi shook his head slowly in order to not knock over any other critters that maybe by him. He noticed soft steps approaching him while the cricket began his music once more. He turned to see Gobo moving to sit next to him. 

" Who are you talking to?"

" A cricket. He's playing his song. "

They fell into simple silence listening to the sounds that only come out when the sky is fading into pink, orange and then finally melting into blue. Small specks of white fell onto Gobo's nose and he let out a small snort. The snow had begun to fall once more. It was less than at the peak of winter but it was still able to cover the forest floor lightly. 

The snort caused Faline to go towards where they were sitting and observe them. She found Bambi's behaviour odd. He seemed detached from life around him, simply moving along.

She chalked it up to grief. She herself had not experienced it fully but she thought it must be dreadful. Faline had experienced glimpses of grief when Gobo would lay in the thicket ill, but never caught full sight of it. She feared it, almost as much as she feared Man and death. She wanted to hide from it forever. 

" Bambi! It's time to leave. "

Nettla shouted at Bambi. The dark was approaching and they had to make it home before the snow piled up. It would've been easier to sleep there by Ena's advice but Bambi was not ready for that. She was aware of the reason for Ena's insistence that they stayed; she wanted to hold on to everything that reminded her of her sister. She wanted to keep Bambi close to her to remind her that her sister was not all gone. But Nettla also knew that Bambi was the one who lost his mother, he had to be the one to take the steps forward.

Bambi heard her call and bid farewell to the cricket and Gobo, with the promise of return. He said his goodbyes to Faline who was quickly ushering Gobo into the thicket and Aunt Ena who seemed terribly sad at his leaving. They made their way back to their thicket and along the way, the snowfall ended. 

Inside their thicket, they curled up next to each other and fell asleep. They were both tired and full. That night, The Great Prince had been by their thicket and was alarmed that Nettla would take Bambi far away. He made a vow to have a word with her.

Chapter Text

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"  How can you sacrifice something you never had?" asked the heavens.

They went to Aunt Ena's once in a while after that. It was not often, by any means, it was simply enough to allow Aunt Ena to feel relieved to see her nephew. Bambi, Faline and Gobo grew closer, as children often do. Bambi was still detached from them but they learnt to ignore it. Faline was often the one pulling them to play while Gobo would have much rather preferred to simply lay in the thicket. Bambi went along with it simply because he felt as if he was obligated to do so. 

The cold winter air was slowly but surely giving way to the warmer spring as the days passed by. The trees and other wood plants were sprouting buds that would flourish once the harsh winter was over. The snowfall was becoming less each passing day. The sun was shining for longer and earlier. The months of scarcity were giving way to the season of plenty and the beings of the forest were rejoicing at it.

It was one of those colder evenings when the Great Prince was seen again at Nettla's home. He walked through the path forged between the maple and oaks and it seemed like the forest itself made way for him. His antlers had been shed for winter but stubs were in their place preparing for the growth of spring. He was still majestic in the way he had carried himself and authoritarian in the way he walked. He found the thicket vacated with Bambi and Nettla going to a nearby stream, which never froze fully even in the dead of winter. Nettla was lucky to have found it back in her youth.

He waited for them. Their scents told him that they were making their way back to the thicket. He placed himself a distance from the thicket to be able to see them when they made their way to his direction. He would not admit to himself that he wished to see how Bambi was, let alone to anyone else.

Bambi and Nettla made their way from the stream to the thicket in calm sweet silence that filled the air around them. He walked behind her, stepping in the indentations her hooves left behind with slight joy. It was simple and childish but it was quite soothing in an inexplicable way. Nettla let him do what he wanted with slight remarks at certain times. Their lives had grown quite mundane but in a lovely sort of way.

A certain scent hit Nettla's nose as they neared their home. A scent she could recognise anywhere. The scent of the Great Prince. She hesitated, who knew what the old beast would want. She had wanted to eat some maple twigs, tell Bambi some tall-tale and curl and sleep. She wondered how Bambi had not smelt that potent scent but he seemed to retreat further into his own mind as the days went by. She continued on hoping he was just passing.

He was not.

It was quite obvious with the way he sat looking at their direction as if anticipating them. She sighed. She could tell that he had some complaint that was a thinly-veiled excuse to see Bambi. Bambi also seemed to notice the stag who sat some distance from them. He stiffened up almost immediately. However, he continued on behind Nettla as she moved towards their home. She seemed hell-bent on pretending there was no one there. He followed her, avoiding eye contact with the stag.

" Are you going to ignore me Nettla?"

The stag finally spoke. His deep voice seemed to arise from the earth itself. He had stood up before speaking. He made his way to them, his imposing height towering far over them. Nettla, however, was not shaken by him, more mildly annoyed rather than reverent. 

"Bambi, go in. "

She said, gesturing to the thicket. Bambi was about to make his way to it when he was stopped by the stag who stretched out his leg in front of him. He looked to the stag. The stag looked at Nettla with a steely gaze. 

" I think Bambi should remain here. "

Bambi felt his heart light up when he heard those words. He knew it was a foolish endeavor, but he yearned for something from his father. It was an ugly yearning, a vile and deformed one, that rot his insides and poisoned his arteries. It was an amalgamation of love, respect and care. And all creatures knew that those feelings together were vicious and horrid. Despite that knowledge, he still looked at Nettla begging with his eyes to stay. A few minutes by his father, even a few seconds, would sustain him.

Nettla was going to refute his request, but her eyes met Bambi's and she was defeated. The pure longing for love that his father refused to show swirled in his earthen eyes. She nodded at him and he lit up, more than he had done in the entire time with her.

" What did you come here for? "

She asked him sharply. 

" To ask why you keep taking Bambi almost across the forest. You know it is incredibly dangerous. "

The Great Prince talked as if he was scolding an imprudent child. 

" Well he has to talk to someone his age. And they are family. "

"Well then bring him to the meadow!"

The stag was exasperated. He wanted Bambi to be safe, but he had responsibilities. He had a duty to the woods, to the animals that lived in it. However, he wanted to know that his son was where he could find him and not making treks across the forest to some aunt of his. He was worried and didn't know how to express it in a way that didn't make him feel vulnerable and weak. So he said something insensitive and mean, he often did.

" The meadow?! Are you insane? "

Nettla was tired and frankly annoyed with the stag. He knew that what he said was wrong, but he still said it. Who would ever suggest a child go back to where he lost his mother? The Great Prince it seemed. 

Bambi had been listening to them attentively and when his father suggested that they go to the meadow, his heart dropped to his stomach. It was corroded by the acids and he had to fish it out before it fully dissipated. He was a coward. He knew real stags would be able to go back there. Real stags would brave through it and make their father proud. But he was not brave, he was scared. Scared that he would smell his mother's blood and her warm dead body. Scared that he would remember her, her and her sweet voice, her patience, her love. Scared that he'd remember that he felt so incredibly alone after her death.

He wished that he had gone into the thicket earlier.

" I'm going in. Thank you for visiting us Great Prince. "

He quickly stated, skirting around the stag and making his way into the thicket. There he lay down and let out a deep exhale that was interrupted by a quiet sob making its way up his throat. He cried for his mother, and cried for himself. He cried softly, quietly and selfishly.

" I think you should leave and not show yourself for some time. " 

Nettla stated, her sentence being punctuated with a sigh and resignation. She had wanted a calm evening.

" Are you saying I shouldn't see my son? " 

The stag resorted to defensiveness. It often came more easily to him than apology. It was a by-product of guilt and remorse mixed in with years of shutting people out.

" The day you are ready to treat him like a son is the day you can call him that. Goodbye Great Prince."

Nettla spoke with finality making her way into the thicket. She had frankly grown tired of the stag refuting his own feelings. He had hurt Bambi and still skirted around an apology. He needed to heal himself before adding his issues to his son.

Upon entering the thicket, she could hear slight sniffles and snorts. She lay next to Bambi. His small body was quivering as he tried to cease his crying. 

" I'm sorry."

His voice came out soft and cracked. He was trying to speak and not be interrupted by sobs.

" For what? "

It was like that first night, when his mother had died. He hadn't cried then.

" For being a coward. For crying. "

He was apologizing for his existence. For daring to be alive. He was apologizing for his damned nature, for his pitiful mortality. The unseemly reason for his life.

" Crying is not cowardice. It's admitting that things hurt sometimes and that you are ready for a break before trying again. It is one of the bravest things you can do. "

" I don't feel very brave. "

" That's okay. You still are. "

Bambi turned to her and lay his head next to her. She did the same. They slept heavily and soundly.

🌼

Spring often brings such lovely feelings, perhaps it is the pollen. Spring folk cannot talk of vile matters, they carry the April rains in their veins.

Spring arrived with joy and pomp. The leaves emerged on the trees and the earth produced all sorts of lovely plants. The daffodils, crocuses, pansies, primroses, hellebores and hyacinths covered the forest floor as well as the clovers and greens. The maples, birches and oaks stood tall with branches full of leaves and buds. The rivers and streams flowed once more filling the forest with sweet sounds. The warm air awoke those who had retired to caves, hollows and burrows for winter.

The dawns were filled with the twittering of birds and their lovely songs of joy and love. The dusks with the melodies of cicadas and crickets. The days and nights were happy and boisterous. The animals of the woods were moving from the dread of winter and into the happiness of spring.

Nettla and Bambi had grown into their home and she began to teach him about herbs and special plants and their roles. She often took him round their area and asked for the names of the plants. It was a lovely activity and both of them enjoyed it immensely.

It was on one of those lovely beginning days of spring that Bambi spotted a familiar face. He and Nettla were feeding on buds of maple a slight distance from their thicket. The dew was still fresh on the grass and leaves. Even the cobwebs were glimmering in the light of the morning sun. The birds had awoken and were searching for food. He was moving towards another maple tree when he noticed a black and white blob in the midst of hyacinths and lavenders. He went to look further into it and startled the creature who turned to run immediately but suddenly stopped and Bambi recognised him.

" Oh Bambi! Is that really you?"

The young skunk said, his tone adorned with sweet melancholic adoration for his friend. His voice was as Bambi remembered slow, delicate and soft like flower petals. He was saccharine in all that he did. He had also been a lovely listener to all of Bambi's inquisitions. 

" It is me. How are you Flower? "

He replied sweetly. He had missed that part of the forest dearly but could not bear to go back. It was, after all, a fresh wound. Flower had been in hibernation when Bambi left, but he was sure that he had heard the news. He hoped that Flower would not bring it up.

" Oh dear...you still call me that. It is quite sweet. I am doing well, just saw some insects and clover and I had to eat this morning. "

" What are you doing all the way out here?"

" Some Blue-jay told me there is plenty on this side of the woods. He seems to be correct. "

After that they talked about Thumper and his sisters. Flower said they were doing well and had moved closer to the edges in order to get more of the wild fruits of spring. Friend Owl had also heard the blue-jay's gossip and followed to those sides of the woods. Bambi hoped to see him one of the fine dusks. They talked about life and how they were faring. Flower did not bring up Bambi's mother and he knew that it was because Flower could often not bear to talk about bitter matters. Perhaps on account of his sweetness.

Nettla noticed Bambi was not by her and instead was lying on the grass speaking to a skunk. She saw the sadness, joy and affection that swirled in his eyes and presumed that it must have been one of his old friends. She ignored them, so as to give them privacy. It was nice to see Bambi talk to someone close to him. 

The sun rose steadily as Bambi and Flower spoke, and in no time at all, it was time for Bambi and Nettla to go back to the thicket. Bambi bid farewell to Flower with the other promising to visit one of the evenings or nights. Bambi looked forward to it. Flower was a lovely companion.

🌼

Authority is a burden bestowed by blood, that makes it more cumbersome.

Bambi had never met any other princes in the forest. He had never even bothered to think much about them. He had heard about them from Friend Owl but his mother had told him that he needed not to worry about them. There was much rumored about them. From the idea that they spoke to no one to that they helped all the animals in the woods. What was truly known was that there were nine princes, excluding their children. The title of Great Prince was not hereditary, one had to earn it. However, the title of prince was passed down from father to son upon death or otherwise disappearance. The offspring of Princes that would succeed the title were still known as Princes, with the others being respected as well but bearing no titles.

It was on a chilly spring evening that he met one of the princes. He was at the brook, drinking and splashing the cool water around. A darling fish and grumpy toad had greeted him in passing. The trees were gently swaying and the sky was covered with fluffy clouds. The spring air was cool and light. The birds were getting ready for night-time. That was when a crow flew beside him and began to drink from the brook.

" Hello. "

The bird looked to his side to see Bambi and was slightly frightened. He flew back a bit before moving back to Bambi's side. He cleared his throat before returning his greeting.

" Greetings young fawn. How are you this fine evening? "

That amused Bambi incredibly and a sweet soft chuckle emerged from him before he remembered his manners. He quickly apologized and answered the crow.

" I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you. I am quite well this fine evening. How about you?"

" I am well and it is quite alright. I was only slightly frightened; besides you have a lovely laugh. "

Bambi felt his face flush, he had never been told he had a lovely laugh. It was quite nice. Then again, he didn't even know the flatterer's name.

"May I ask for your name sir?"

" Solon, at your service. What about yours? "

The crow said this with an air of pride at his name and finished with a flourish of one of his wings before him in a semi-bow.

" You have a splendid name. My name is Bambi. "

Bambi complimented the crow mainly because Solon had done so first. But also because it truly was a gorgeous name. 

" Bambi... I'm sure I have heard that name somewhere before. Are you an outlaw? "

" An outlaw? I'm not."

Bambi was shocked by the question. He thought of simply telling Solon that he was a prince but it didn't feel right to say it out loud. He often didn't feel like a prince at all. There was nothing inherently princely about him. Also, it was quite funny to see the crow figure it out.

" Perhaps a bandit or rebel? "

" None at all. "

" Maybe then a scholar like me...then again, would've heard of you."

" I simply cannot be as intelligent as you Sir Solon."

A small wheeze-like laughter escaped him as he flattered the crow who immediately puffed up in own hubris. The crow was quite good at letting out this playful side of him, he reminded Bambi of Faline.

" Well I suppose that is true, then- "

They were suddenly interrupted by someone calling out for Solon. The deep authoritative voice reached them through the trees and on the other side of the brook. But the one calling out was breathier than rough. It was gentle and warm in the way the wind carried it. The animal was obviously a deer from their scent that wafted closer as the animal moved nearer to the brook. Deer tended to have an underlying woody scent as Bambi had often noticed with Nettla, his mother and all the deer he interacted with.

The one moving closer to them smelt of maple overpowered by wild strawberries and lavender. It was a pleasant smell.  His scent also did not indicate any danger or anger, only mind annoyance and slight concern. The deer finally emerged on the other side. He was strong and lean. Antlers that were beginning to grow again and the fading spots on his coat showed his youthfulness. He was either two or three years older than Bambi by rough estimation. 

He soon spotted the crow and made his way down the small cliff that was his side and to the brook. He seemed relieved and yet miffed to see Solon. Then his gaze shifted over to Bambi and he stiffened a little before moving forward. He then looked at the body of running water and pondered on how to cross it. It wasn't very deep but with the cold evening, it would not be very ideal to wade across.

" There are rocks up ahead, near the red oak. You can use them to cross. "

Bambi had noticed his plight and offered help by pointing with his head to the left of him.

The other deer went on ahead, leaving Bambi to ask the crow who the stranger was. 

" That's Karus. A scholar much like myself. "

" Why is he looking for you? "

Solon seemed hesitant to answer and even a little ashamed. Bambi was quite curious so he prodded on carefully. He didn't want to make Solon uncomfortable. However, Solon himself answered. 

" We got into an argument. It was truly my fault but we both got angry and I flew away. We haven't spoken for a week; I didn't even think he'd come to look for me. "

He spoke quickly and eyes shifting away from Bambi. He seemed truly remorseful. 

" Well what was the argument about? "

" He wanted to move southern looking for The Wise Owl but I wanted to move on ahead in the original direction we were going without the advice from him. It was a very heated debate before we both became frustrated with each other. Then it was simply vulgarity and low blows. "

That seemed like an awfully horrid argument. Bambi had never truly argued like that, especially with a friend. But he knew what his mother had told him, arguments often ended in two losers. It was better to take breaths and talk things out. He relayed this information to Solon who nodded in agreement. Then rustling in the bushes alerted them to the arrival of Karus.

Solon looked at him, then at Bambi, and Bambi nudged him forward with his snout. A small ' Go on ' was mouthed to the crow who moved forward with his head bowed down. He then began to apologize at the same time at Karus and their words mumbled together into a cacophony of sorts. The bird's throaty voice and Karus' breathy one mixed and overpowered each other. It was very funny to Bambi for some reason. He began to chuckle without realizing so. 

When he noticed two pairs of eyes on him, he fell silent almost immediately. He mumbled an apology and a nod for them to continue with their apologies. They seemed more subdued after that, and ready for the other to speak. Karus was the one who began.

" I'm very sorry Solon. I shouldn't have said what I said. I should have handled it better. "

" You don't have to apologize. I said some horrible things as well. I should have listened to you about The Wise Owl. Plus, I ran away instead of speaking. I am so very sorry for that. "

" No it's okay. No one even knows where to find him. I should have listened to you. "

Bambi sat aside as they continued to speak. He was glad they had resolved their differences. He quite liked the bird, he was amusing. Whilst listening, he realized the name they had been using; The Wise Owl. He racked his brain, looking in his mind where he had heard the name prior. Then it came to him suddenly, like moonlight that had been covered by a cloud in the dead of night, it filled his senses.

" Excuse me. "

He called out to the two friends while they were still making amends. They looked at him instantly and it caused him to be bashful and lower his gaze to the ground.

" I heard you speaking about the Wise Owl. "

Karus perked up and Solon flew next to Bambi with a gleam of excitement. 

" You have heard about him?"

" Well I know him. "

This caused the bird to be more excited and he flew in triumph surrounding Bambi. He let out a sharp sound of excitement before flying directly into Karus' face and letting out another cheer of enthusiasm. Karus shook him off and looked at him in annoyance. But he also had a gleam of joy in his eyes. Bambi hated bursting their bubble, but otherwise it would be wrong to not tell them he did not know where the owl was.

"I do not know exactly where he is though. "

Solon deflated.

" But I know he's in these parts of the forest. "

Joy again.

" I can ask around for you tomorrow at dawn. "

He offered. Karus seemed excited but cautious. 

" Why do you want to help us?"

Bambi truly did not know. He just wanted to, there was not much reason for that. Maybe deep in his heart, he wished to see Friend Owl once more. He was going to answer when Solon interrupted.

" Could you not be sceptical for once Karus? Just be happy that we have a lead. "

Karus sighed. His friend was correct; he had just been on edge. He should have been happy to find a kind soul rather than a rude one like many times before.

" I apologise, it was a rude question. I thank you for wanting to help us. "

" It's fine. I understand being cautious around a stranger. "

Bambi had not found the question offensive. He sent a honey dipped smile to the other deer who seemed a bit taken aback. 

" You're too kind Bambi."

Solon said, glaring at Karus.

The name seemed to strike something within Karus. He looked at Bambi with a different gaze. One of understanding and pity. He knew that name, knew what it meant. And for that, his soul wept for Bambi's. Bambi did not know him, but the moment he asked another deer, the name Karus would cease to be that of a scholar and become adorned with so much responsibility. He hoped and feared that when Bambi knew, he would treat him like what he was.

" I must go home. Do you have somewhere to stay for the night?"

Bambi was worried for them. Night was ripe for creatures looking for their next meal. The sun was slowly setting and the half moon rising. The sky was adorned with a myriad of colours and the chilly air was growing more frigid.  

They replied that they did and parted ways. They promised to meet the dawn of the day after the next, with all they had found. Bambi went home happy he had met such lively animals. Solon was eccentric and full of happiness, while Karus was a bit more subdued. He was not mean by any standard, in fact he was quite gentle and charming. He carried back some birch twigs for Nettla who had granted him permission to go to the brook and other closer places.

He was glad for that, sometimes he just needed some time to himself. But then again, he loved being close to her. He found sitting outside the thicket and speaking to a nightingale. They seemed engaged in gossip. Bambi thought that perhaps they would know where Friend Owl was. He went and lay the twigs by Nettla who was extremely delighted. She greeted him and asked him about his evening. He sat by her and the nightingale, who was by then a regular visitor. He told her about Solon and Karus and wanting to find Friend Owl.

When he mentioned Karus, Nettla was a bit shocked but not worried. 

" Prince Karus was all the way out here? " The nightingale exclaimed.

" Prince? "

Bambi had never known the names of the other princes. He had been too young with his mother and Nettla had failed to mention it. 

" I seem to have failed in teaching you about princes. "

Nettla sighed, but she did not sound either disturbed or remorseful. She then turned to the nightingale.

" And you Maria, do not tell a soul about the prince or I swear by the forces that be, you shall never sing again. "

" You have little faith in me Nettla. I am not one for squawking my beak in every hole and on every tree. " Maria said in indignation and offence.

" Could've fooled me. "

Nettla was never one to back away from an argument. Bambi knew that their argument would continue forever, so he cut them off before they went further into it. He had had enough arguments for the day.

" Do any of you know where Friend Owl is?"

Nettla shook her head while stripping the twigs. Maria said she had, but was not aware of the exact place. She said she would ask around to which Bambi thanked her immensely and she flew away with a furious blush. They settled into the thicket and Bambi asked about the other princes. 

                                                      ...

Nettla got comfortable next to him as a few droplets of rain fell indicting the beginning of a spring shower. There were twelve princes, she told him to which he said he knew that and she playfully hit him with her head. She told him to keep quiet if he wanted to hear more;

The roles of the princes were to care for the forest and its inhabitants. The oldest and greatest was The Great Prince. No one knew how old he was but he was older than every deer who lived. He was a mystic being hovering over the forest without home. He moved from South to North and East to West looking over the trees, creatures and even the moss and flowers.

 Then was Orion, he who had looked Man in the eye and came out unscathed. He was feared as much, if not more, than the Great Prince. He lived in the North-East, by the mountains which shielded the creatures from Man. He had no children and it had been rumoured that his title would fall with his death. In contrast to Orion's frigid demeanor that matched the mountains he guarded so fiercely, was Aurelius who was the prince of the swampy west. He was jolly and beloved by the creatures that lived in the marsh. There was talk that he had so many offspring from several does that at his death, they would have to hold lots to determine his heir. He was also quite ambitious and often held plans with half as much a chance of success as well as failure.

On the Eastern end of the forest was Romulus, whose title of prince had been heavily criticized in his earlier years due to the bloody way he obtained it; he had taken the life from his twin in cold blood. It was said that he fled, but the Great Prince brought him back and reinstated his title of prince. No one would dare defy the Great Prince so they accepted it. After a few years, the creatures grew used to him and even liked him to some extent. It was often said, the ones who killed were more accepting than those who had trees and bushes and grass.

Farthest North was the domain of Bastian who was as respected almost as much as he was mocked. He had wanted the title of Great Prince in his youth, and in his stupid adolescence he challenged him. He was given a swift and humiliating defeat and his father then sent him to the North. He had grown immensely but the story people often told of him was that. Directly below his area of rule, was that of Prince Florian who mostly kept to himself. He was a kind soul who would prefer studying the skies and trees rather than ruling. He was widely beloved and sought for knowledge. His closest friend was the Wise Owl.

The South-west was under the rule of Constance. He was nothing short of efficient. The ants and bees often said that he valued his rule before anything in his life. He had one child, Karus, whom he wanted to succeed him. But Karus was a thinker, a scholar before he was a prince. It caused strife in between them. Far from them in the North -West was Hadrian. Hadrian was one of the lesser known princes. He had Three daughters and a son; two pairs of twins. He ruled fairly and quietly and it was often said that he and Florian were the ones favoured by The Great Prince for company.

Silas was the leader of the South-West. He was rough and loud and unabashed, yet loved by many. There was not a creature or Prince that did not respect him if not completely adore him, even Orion. The birds sang songs of him far more than any prince, except The Great Prince that is. He was not a stickler for rules and far less for propriety, and thus when he took in a rough fawn, rumoured to be raised by wolves, no one was shocked. Perhaps they were scandalised and disproven of it but they were definitely not shocked. Prince Ronno was a nightmare for everyone other than his father. 

And The Great Prince's domain was the south, at least before he took on the greater role. Faline and Gobo's father, Griffin, was the unofficial ruler but in action, not in name. 

...

By the time Nettla finished, the rain was steadily drenching the forest. It was a light calm shower and one could hear the voices of frogs and crickets among the sound of rain. Bambi yawned as she mentioned that he would be the next Prince of the Southern woods. She told him to sleep and curled next to his head. He tried to say that he wasn't sleepy, but another yawn escaped him. He finally lay, all the evermore determined to help Solon and Karus. He could imagine that the prince had no one apart from the crow wanting his happiness. 

He often didn't know if he wanted the title.

It seemed heavy and painful to carry. The weight of it haunted his thoughts and the expectations of the animals tripped his feet, making him fall head-first into the pit of self-loathing. He pitied Karus who had made-up his mind, more than him who was still figuring things out. It felt better to still think that the option was yours rather than know ultimately that it isn't.

He fell asleep with pity and anxiety, drenching his body like a bath of poison ivy.

Chapter Text

🌼

Selfishness, Selflessness, what arbitrary ideals. They merge and separate and mix together in a being, but in the end they exist either way. Who's to say which is which?

They found Friend Owl in an old oak tree happily humming to himself. It was late evening and he was awakening from his day-long slumber. The birds had informed Bambi of the Owl's tree the dawn after he had met Karus and Solon. He then had to wait to meet with them the next day, where they planned to go there when Friend Owl was awaking. Karus had been on edge around Bambi for a short while after they met but when he saw that Bambi was not doing anything or saying anything about his title, he relaxed. 

The air was warm that evening and heavy with the scent of wild strawberries and primroses. They lined on the path to where Friend Owl's home was supposed to be. Bambi resisted the urge to eat one by focusing on the path in front of them. They quickly got to the tree where the owl was awake and grooming himself. He did not notice them for some time as he hummed a soft tune to himself. Karus, however, announced their presence which startled the old owl immensely.

" Good evening Wise Owl of the South. "

It seemed like prince etiquette to greet in that manner and even the low bow he gave. Princely manners that Bambi had no knowledge of, so he simply bowed as well. 

" Good evening. Why Little Prince, fancy seeing you in these parts. "

The owl swayed a bit as he steadied himself from his earlier fright. He had a gleam in his eyes as he spotted Bambi; pity shone like an ember in his sharp round eyes. 

" Wait a moment. You're a prince as well?! "

Solon flew right in front of Bambi, his face etched in shock. Bambi simply replied by nodding then greeting Friend Owl. 

" Who are your friends? "

Bambi looked at them as if telepathically asking them if they were going to answer or if he would introduce them. Karus, as if understanding him nodded and introduced himself.

" I am Karus and my companion is Solas. We have come to ask for your guidance. "

He spoke in a way that expected everyone around him to listen and obey. But with a certain humility and adoration. He seemed eager and overjoyed to be speaking to Friend Owl. It was clear why he had omitted his title; the Wise Owl was most likely familiar with his name and he wished to be removed from his prince-hood as he spoke to the fellow scholar.  Bambi supposed that he had looked up to the owl for such a long time. Solon seemed to be the same way. He was glad that he had helped them. Maybe Karus would find himself through the Owl's words.

" I have heard of you. An impressive young scholar, in a couple of years you will be quite remarkable. The crow as well. Now, what is this guidance? "

Both Karus and Solon seemed to glow with the praise offered from someone they had deemed so important. Solon resisted the urge to scream with excitement. He looked at Bambi with a look that said, ' did you hear him?  ', Bambi smiled and nodded at the bird who looked like he wanted to scream atop the trees. Karus also seemed to want to do the same. 

" We wish to become your apprentices. "

The owl seemed shocked at that. He had not had apprentices for years. In fact, he was retired, if not just in name. He looked at the promising young ones and pondered it. He would love to impart his knowledge onto the next academics like his good friend Florian, but he was quite old and tired. 

" I am not sure I can do that. You must understand that I am an old bird. "

He tried to be as careful as possible, he truly did not want to discourage them.

" We beg you. We shall not disturb you and if only for a year, we shall be eternally grateful. "

Solon was a smooth articulate speaker and he begged well. The Wise Owl thought of it and decided to give himself time to ponder the pros and cons of it. He did not want to rush into an answer that he would regret. He was aware that if he decided to take in Prince Karus, he would be in the cross-hairs of a father-son feud. Although he was a well-respected figure, he was not one that was a big fan of arbitrary rules of society. That being said, he often did not butt heads with any of the princes.

He was conflicted; on the one hand he wanted to nurture the knowledge of the young deer and crow, and on the other he wished to not anger Constance, Karus' father.

" Give me time to think. I should have an answer by tomorrow evening."

" Thank you so much. "

Their hope was palpable and tasted like cool water in the middle of summer. 

They all bid goodbye to Friend Owl who called Bambi aside. 

" I'm glad you have made new friends Little Prince. "

Bambi glanced at the grey feathers that adorned the old owl and the loving gaze in his eyes. He had seen those eyes after he was born and felt those feathers moulting for winter. He had truly cared for the owl the way the owl cared for him. But something in him refused to return to that place and those memories. Something so soul wrenching had stepped on their care and turned it hollow.

" They are lovely, aren't they? "

" They are. "

" Please take them on. "

He pleaded for the two scholars because they deserved to be happy. Karus deserved to choose his own path; maybe if he did then Bambi could do so too, once his time arrived. It was terribly selfish, and he had no remorse, he pleaded.

" I shall think about it. Visit once in a while."

" I shall think about it. "

It was a wager, a threat and a request bleeding into every word, into every sound. It was tit-for-tat; a transaction. It begged and demanded and pleaded like a child, because it came from one. ' Teach them, and I shall see you.  ' 

Friend Owl was a bit shocked and pleased. Bambi from yesteryear would never have done that. There was something that had been planted in his body; a deep-seated fear of losing control of his life. An unshakable dread that his life would spiral out of his control. That was why he wanted Karus to be there because it meant that he could opt out as well. It meant that his life was his.

Bambi walked away, towards where Karus and Solon had been waiting for him. When he got to them, they began to walk towards the brook where they would part. 

" What did he want to talk to you about? "

Solon was inquisitive at most times and that was made effectively worse by the fact that he almost never kept quiet. Bambi did not particularly wish to answer the question. He felt some guilt at answering Friend Owl the way he did, but it was a very shallow guilt, one could even see the rocks of self-seeking at the bottom of it. 

" He just wanted to see how I was fairing on. I pleaded for you."

He replied dismissively, adding the last part as a half-truth.

Solon thanked him profusely and said words of praise that left a deep blush on Bambi's face. He felt as if he had not done much, but was glad Solon saw as if he had.

" Thank you Bambi. You have been such a tremendous help to us. We shall never forget it. "

Karus spoke with genuine awe and gratitude. He seemed so happy that his life was finally going the way he had yearned for so long. Bambi felt a twinge of guilt at that, but reminded him that it benefited Solon and Karus more than him. 

The soft sound of the brook became closer and closer as they moved closer to it. The sun had begun to slowly lower itself towards the horizon as it coloured the forest golden. Bambi had promised Nettla to arrive earlier than the previous time. 

" Are you going to be coming with us tomorrow evening? "

He got a bit startled as he had not noticed Karus moving right next to him. The other deer was bigger than him, so he raised his head slightly to be able to look at him properly. He wished he could but he had promised Nettla to go with her to Aunt Ena's. He shook his head and noticed a slight disappointment in the other's face. He couldn't imagine that they wanted him there that much. 

" You'll tell me how it went when we meet, won't you? "

He said it airy, light and as happy as he could possibly make it. He didn't want them to value him that much, it felt like responsibility. He wanted to be good to them and for them to be indifferent to him. There was something in that, something he would have to confront but at that moment he ignored it and accepted it as fact. 

Karus agreed and looked to Solon who was eating a worm he had found in the midst of clovers and care filled his eyes. They were close, as close as one can possibly be. More than a lover, more than a brother, more than a mate. There was something archaic and ancient in their friendship, that of a crow and a deer. It ran deep beneath their veins and in every exhale and inhale. Before they had met, they had been lost wanderers and confused about their future.

" What if we don't get to become his apprentices? "

His uncertainty bled into his demeanor and his words. He was asking himself, Solon and Bambi. He was frightened that Owl would not teach them and he would remain a prince forever.

" Then we move on. Are we going to let an old owl stop us, after how far we've come? "

Solon said, with such certainty that even Bambi nodded with them. He looked so sure of Karus that it could be nothing less than trust. He wholly believed Karus could do anything and could be anyone. Their care was not a one-way trip. It was a simultaneous push and pull, the moon and the sea. 

" He's going to take you in. "

It was not like Solon's certainty, that which was backed by trust and care. It was a foolish flimsy certainty that Bambi said because he wanted it to be so terribly true. 

They parted ways with sweet goodbyes and so much cherish that Bambi had no idea what to do with it. It was too much for his small body, that had been worn and beaten by the winter wind, to handle. It swirled his insides and hurt his alimentary canal. It made him nauseous and dizzy. It was warm and cold. His body threatened to wretch it out. He went to tell Nettla who would understand and listen without judgement.

🌼

Love is such a meagre word to describe the bonds we have weaved with grass, flowers, sunlight and blood. It isn't in our blood; it is in our souls.

Gobo's laugh filled the small clearing and Faline stopped chasing Bambi to look at her brother with so much love that it filled the air around them. 

The sun was shining onto the place where the fawns were playing while Aunt Ena and Nettla were sitting at a distance from them eating clover. Bambi had slightly antagonised Faline who was often looking for a fight. Aunt Ena had chastised her for it but to her surprise Nettla had defended the young fawn's eagerness.

It was early evening and they had gone to the foot of a small hill where one of Aunt Ena's doe friends lived. She had no children as they had all grown up and left the thicket, so it left the children to play among themselves.  

The area had a lot of flowers which overjoyed the children immeasurably. Bambi ran away but was quickly jumped on by Faline causing both of them to fall into the hydrangeas and wood anemones. That was when Gobo, who had been watching them, burst into laughter. It was not loud by any means but it was there. It was like the singing of bluebirds and the sound of the morning breeze when it hit dew-covered bluebells. Faline looked at her laughing brother and Bambi who was lying beneath her covered in small blue flowers, and she laughed. Hers was loud and like a thunderstorm but no less beautiful.

Perhaps it was happiness or seeing the siblings so joyous that made Bambi start laughing as well; after all, who was to say that they were not the same kind. He laughed, and she laughed, and he laughed, and they all laughed. They were as happy as children could possibly be and Bambi was as happy as his soul could allow. They were happy because the day was good and Gobo was well enough to laugh. He had been getting better and better. He could walk for longer and he could play for a while. 

They lay on the warm grass and the flowers lay on their fur. The sky was clear apart from a few clouds that floated pushed by the gentle wind. One looked like a flower, another looked like a wolf and another like an acorn with a hole in it. They formed and deformed again and again. A ladybird jumped onto Gobo and walked all over him, then flew away. One of the trees ached and creaked when the wind got to it and Bambi thought that it would fall. Petals that had adorned them were taken in a swirl by the playful relentless spring draft. Bambi could feel it tickling him.

" Did you hear that Prince Karus is in these parts? "

Faline broke the silence as she stood up and stretched before plopping herself next to Gobo. Bambi shook his head as he stretched his legs before moving to a more comfortable position. He decided not to tell Faline and Gobo for two reasons; Karus' privacy and an irrational fear that if he told them then Owl would not take Solon and Karus in. He would tell them after.

" So are Prince Silas and Ronno. "

Gobo added, his voice small and soft. He lay his head on the ground and let out a mewl of contentment. That Bambi did not actually know about.

" Where did you hear that from? "

He said with feigned nonchalance, he was very curious and some of it slipped into his question. 

" Pa was talking to mum yesterday and we happened to overhear. " 

Faline answered a half-truth and her brother looked at her with scrutiny. She had actually eavesdropped and dragged Gobo into it. 

" He said that Prince Silas is here to see the Great Prince, for some dispute with Prince Romulus. And he brought Prince Ronno along."

" I heard that he is around our age. "

Gobo chimed in.

" A year older than us. Do you think he would be a good friend?"

Bambi highly doubted that. From the little he had been told, the Prince kept to himself a lot.

" I heard that he was raised by wolves. "

Gobo was almost ready to hide under his legs by just thinking about it. It petrified him immensely. 

" Do you think that's true? "

Bambi asked because he found it utterly improbable. They would have eaten a small unknown fawn immediately. 

" I don't think so, but he must have been all alone before Prince Silas found him. "

That obviously stated that his mother had died. The topic of death left a sour taste in the children's mouths. Especially Bambi's. It was bile rising up his throat and it was something in his eyes. 

" Anyway, I think he would have a great time with me. "

Faline changed the subject quickly. She often did not linger in difficult moments, terrified of them. Deep inside, she was so incredibly scared of such dark matters despite her joyful brave exterior. She could face physical pain with a brave face but any emotional anguish would shatter her.

" Why you? "

Bambi was more than thankful for a distraction. The tense air shattered into small sharp pieces of awkwardness.

" I am the best friend anyone could ever wish for. "

She replied haughtily causing both Bambi and Gobo to scoff and let out semi-laughs under their breaths. She glared at them, something she had been getting increasingly better at as time went on. Bambi did think she was a marvelous friend, not that he would ever tell her that.  

The conversation seemed to die out then with Bambi and Faline exchanging heated one liners and Gobo staring at them with a dazed sleepy look. The light from the sun covered the small clearing and it was warm as it touched their fur. It was not the extreme heat but rather the warm sleepy one that caused yawns and stretches. Bambi wondered if Friend Owl had accepted; he hoped that he had. Then his mind drifted to Prince Ronno. He was quite curious about him. He felt as if they were similar, dead mothers and being taken in by someone they did not know.

He wanted to see the other prince and ask him if he still had nightmares and still had the urge to heave his guts out. If he thought that there was something he could've done; if he blamed himself. He wanted to ask if he had a father, if his father was like his. He wanted to know that another prince, another animal could so deeply understand him. 

" Children! It's time to leave. "

Aunt Ena called them as she and Nettla had already stood. Bambi, Faline and Gobo stood up quickly, ready to head home for the day. They said goodbye as politely as they possibly could to Aunt Ena's friend who Faline had already expressed contempt for. She had agreed with Faline's mother on her behaviour, which agitated the fawn to no end.  They walked on in relative silence with Faline playing a game along the way with Gobo, it was simply stepping away from cracks which Gobo seemed to enjoy very much. 

" Why don't you stay with us tonight? Our place is closer. "

Aunt Ena suggested, her tone was hopeful and pleading. She wanted so desperately to hold her sister's child. There was something in her blood that was connected to her sister even in her death. 

Bambi looked at Nettla who seemed tired. She acted energetic but there were times her age shone through and she looked older. He did not want to sleep there but he swallowed it down and nodded to Nettla. She had done so much for him; he could sleep in another thicket for a night. 

" Sure. We can leave tomorrow at dawn. " 

Aunt Ena lit up. Her eyes gleamed and joy carved itself onto her face.  

" Faline and Gobo will enjoy your company greatly, and so would I. "

They continued on. Their path was patches of sun and shadows. Gobo and Faline moved in the shadows jumping from one to another. Bambi was quiet and watched them in silence, only being asked once in a while to stand between two far away shadows so that the twins could use his shadow as a bridge. He liked being around them most times, but he was not sure if he could spend a prolonged period of time around them. Especially the cold dark nights when the loud bang of that frigid winter night pulled him mercilessly from his slumber and into the real cold world without his mother, his first friend.

Faline called him to be a bridge and he went ahead to where they were and positioned himself. Faline crossed then waited for Gobo who murmured a small thank you. It seemed to be a race but whenever there was a big jump, Faline would stand by and wait for Gobo to finish crossing then move on. In their little game Faline was obviously going to win, but that didn't make it any less fun. Bambi moved on beside them. There was grass and foxgloves and ferns lining the path. 

They got to the thicket which was in a dense bushy area and Gobo and Faline first went inside with their mother leaving Nettla and Bambi outside. 

" It seems it is my turn to say sorry. "

Nettla said, her voice dripping with exhaustion.

" What for?"

"For this stay. "

" It's not your fault. "

" I'm still allowed to feel sorry, am I not?"

He moved closer to her and laid his head on her side. He was also tired, and yet he was not planning on sleeping much that night, scared of the monsters from his sleep. He also didn't want to show Aunt Ena, Faline and Gobo that scared little fawn inside of him. 

At that time, Aunt Ena called them in after she finished grooming the twins. Nettla had taught Bambi to groom himself, after her attempts of grooming him ended in tears and full body shudders. They went inside to the warm thicket where Faline and Gobo were by their mother's sides. Bambi was called by Aunt Ena to her side, so he went by Faline. The thicket was a decent size for all of them and bigger than Nettla's. 

That night they told stories of sly foxes and cunning hares. The stories of heroes long gone. They told of their ancestors and those who came before the days of Man. The stories that flowed through the roots of trees and through the veins of every animal in the woods. Those were the stories stored in the hearts and lungs of every bird so that they could sing of the forest in every breath. 

They then fell asleep one by one except Bambi whose fears prevented his descent into the world of his dreams. He lay awake waiting for the signs of dawn. He moved to a further corner, away from the rest of warm bodies. He was alone with his thoughts and dread. He thought of his mother first. He loved the people in his life but he would give it all for a single day with her. He wanted to live and die with her. If they would be together in death, he would embrace the cold arms of it. Then he thought of his father. He could still smell him on some days but he never came by and Bambi blamed himself.

He then heard some rustling and saw Faline get up. She moved closer to him and let out a big yawn. That caused him to yawn as well. 

" Can't sleep?"

"Don't want to."

He didn't know why he told her the truth. Why he hadn't hidden it like he always did. Perhaps he was truly tired.

She nodded, as if in understanding. 

" It's okay. I can stay awake with you; dawn is not that far of."

He really did not want to be left alone with his thoughts but did not want to bother Faline.

" You don't have to. "

" I stay up with Gobo on nights when his illness is too much. Sometimes even when Mum falls asleep. "

Her whispers were as soft as she could possibly speak.

Just as he agreed to it, another rustling startled them. It was Gobo who woke up, then saw them awake, and like his sister he made his way to them. He lay on Bambi's other side. 

" Can't sleep? "

" Don't want to. "

He let out a yawn in place of his words. His whispers were so low that Bambi could hear only some words. But he got what was asked.

" Gobo go to sleep."

Faline said. She did not want him to fall into illness again from fatigue, he had just gotten better. She was terrified of his sicknesses, maybe even more than he was.

" Can I sleep here? " 

He asked Bambi in that soft breezy voice of his, and Bambi nodded. Gobo lay next to Bambi and his body heat travelled through Bambi with a shudder. 

Faline and Bambi stayed awake till dawn. He held so much gratitude for her, even for Gobo who slept next to him. He cared immensely for them and held love for them even when he left in the morning.

🌼

'Forget' is not a word that exists in friendship. I have never heard of it, let alone thought of it.

The warm spring air gave way to the sweltering humidity of summer. The days grew longer and the nights shorter. The animals were coated with their summer fur and fully lost the winter ones. The horns that had been shed were fully grown and hunting days grew. Trips to the watering areas grew as most animals went to cool off in the increasing heat. Even the summer showers were warm at times. Summer in the southern forest was lazy and warm. Several wild fruits were in abundance and the plants were green and leafy, that meant plenty.

Karus and Solon met Nettla, who tolerated them more than she did most people. They also were seen more often near their thicket as Friend Owl had taken them in. They were extremely excited when they told Bambi and showered him with so many compliments and so much gratitude that the poor fawn burned up for days around them. They had plans to move to a more secluded place, but it would be tedious to look for a place with water and chilly winds so they stayed until the winds of autumn would blow in the forest.

Bambi had visited Friend Owl a couple of times, and the Owl had been very happy to see the young fawn. They spoke for a bit, all while Karus and Solon did menial tasks that Bambi suspected had nothing to do with scholarly matters, but he did not know their ways or teachings. They spoke of history and the great animals before them with the two apprentices chiming in at some moments with highly exaggerated tales, which caused Friend Owl to order them back to work and Bambi to suppress a laugh. They also spoke of princes, which Karus was very silent at. 

He loved spending time with them and learning all matter of things. He could also share a lot with them like the herbs and plants he and Nettla used. They seemed very interested in them and even when Solon got an injury to his wing, they used crushed lavender to sooth him of the pain. He got better quite quickly. Friend Owl and Karus called him a healer and he told Nettla, who seemed incredibly proud of him. 

They also spent some amount of time by Aunt Ena's but did not sleep there, much to her disappointment. Nettla had seen that Bambi had not slept that night and had chastised him for not saying anything. He grew even more loving of the twins and enjoyed their company more. In secret he had told them about Karus and Solon and had made them swear to not tell anyone. Faline was angry that he had not told them earlier and Gobo was pleased to be included in the secret. During that time, they also grew very curious about matters such as scenting, and attempted to scent each other on the scent glands outside their hind legs.

That caused quite a stir from Aunt Ena and Nettla, who told them that it was something done by mothers and mates. They were not that regretful, in fact they quite enjoyed carrying each other's scents. Faline and Gobo had similar scents, with an undertone of aspen, but Gobo's was much more saccharine like honeysuckle and summer fruits, while Faline's was strong like that of wisteria. Bambi's, on the other hand, was blueberries and buttercups with undertones of oak and maple. Karus asked him about it when they met and he replied dismissively about not noticing anything.

When he met with his old friend Thumper once more, he was actually with another old friend, Flower. Flower was telling him about different flowers and their meanings and seasons.  They had met quite a few times with Flower being ecstatic to talk about flowers to Bambi. They spoke of other things of course, but the small skunk was most excited when speaking about flowers. It was one of these days, when they were by the brook, when Bambi saw very familiar blue-greyish fur by them. He heard a flurry of voices and what he recognised as the scent of rabbits. He heard another voice telling them to keep quiet. 

Then they came out of the bush. It was a mother and her litter. He recognised one of them at the very back. So did Flower who had noticed Bambi's shifting attention. He perked up immediately when he saw the rabbit. The rabbit was busy mumbling something under his breath, when he picked up a scent and looked in their direction. He perked up as well and hopped to them.

"Hello Thumper."

" Good evening Thumper."

Bambi and Flower said at the same time. 

"  Good evening Thumper... as if I haven't seen you in months. You just left. "

His voice started out playful but ended in a sad vulnerability. He had wanted to be there for Bambi but his closest friend without so much as a goodbye. He was good at putting up a front and being eccentric and proud, but Bambi was his friend and he cared for the fawn so much. 

Bambi looked down. He had to leave, Thumper knew that. he couldn't stay there. And he knew even a simple farewell would do, but his grief had taken over his mind and he had not thought of anything else. 

" I'm sorry it's just that the Great Prince came for me after the...accident, and I couldn't think of anything else. "

Thumper understood, of course he understood, but that didn't mean that he wasn't hurt. The explanation wouldn't ease the fact that he wanted anything, even a message from a bird.

" It's fine. I just wanted to be there for you, as a friend. If we are friends, that is. "

He said with uncertainty. His voice wavered from its usual tone of confidence and fell into uneasiness. Time had passed and he was not sure if he was needed.

" Of course we are friends Thumper. Always will be. "

Bambi was glad to see Thumper. He had missed his close friend dearly. 

" I'm glad that you are both here. "

Flower's soft voice pulled them from their thoughts as the skunk went to embrace the rabbit. Thumper tried to push him away but failed and resigned to the hug.

" Oh that's so sweet. "

" Very very sweet. "

" Who knew Thumpie could be so nice."

His sisters who had noticed his absence cooed at him and Flower, snickering and speaking over each other. He finally managed to shove Flower off who took it very well and simply attached himself once more to Bambi's side. 

" Oh shut up, you annoying-"

" Thumper what did your pa say? "

With his mother's voice, he seemed to be incredibly subdued and bashful.

" If you have nothin' nice to say, you better say nothin' at all. "

"And? "

" I should be nice to my sisters."

She nodded and went back to drinking water.  She greeted Bambi and Flower and asked the girls to stop disturbing Thumper and his friends. They reluctantly went to her side and Thumper had a smug grin on his face. Bambi had never had a sibling. He wondered how that would've been. Of course he had Faline and Gobo but it was different. Thumper blew a raspberry at them to which the smallest of them returned. He then sat by Bambi and Flower with a satisfied look on his face.

They spoke of many things. Thumper and his family had gone to the edges of the forest and he said that on certain days they would see Man approach the forest. His Ma often told him to hide the moment they spotted them. After he had said that, Bambi had asked him to stop speaking of Man and the topic shifted with a quick apology. He then talked of all the fruit and plants. Then of the other rabbits who looked like them and those who looked different to them. Then he talked more about the food. 

Bambi told him of Karus, Solon, Faline, Gobo and Nettla. He said told him about all that they had done, and how he truly cared for them. At that, the rabbit got a bit jealous of all the new friends in Bambi's life but Bambi assured him that he meant more to him. Flower chimed in at times. He had met Karus and Solon when visiting Friend Owl and had taken a liking to them. They found out that Thumper's family were around till mid- autumn. Bambi was happy to hear that and so was Flower who tried to give Thumper another hug but was quickly pushed off and he went for Bambi's neck which Bambi accepted and the skunk was satisfied.

They said their goodbyes when Bambi had to leave and Thumper was called by his mother. They said their goodbyes and promised to speak as often as they possibly could.

Chapter Text

🌼

" Why are you so good to a bad world? Why are you still in it?"

Bambi had not expected to meet such an abrasive rude deer on such a lovely day but that was just his luck. It also did not help that said deer was injured and Bambi was too nice for his own sake.

It all began when he went for a morning walk. Nettla had said it was good for him to have time for himself away from others, even his friends. It was one of those perfect summer days with a slight chilly breeze and not too warm air. It was a time when he could think of life and could let his thoughts run free. He was sitting by an aspen thinking of everything and nothing at all. His thoughts were running and crisscrossing. They were tying themselves in knots and tripping over each other. 

It was when he heard a groan from what could only be called a wounded animal. He, being the kind soul that he was, went to see and perhaps help. But he went with caution lest the perpetrator harm him as well. Then he saw the deer, his antlers had come in like Karus' but were smaller, not by much though. He seemed only slightly older than Bambi. His front left leg was bleeding and it seemed as if he had a limp on his right hind foot. Next to him, there was a fox who had a slight injury on his tail. He approached them, from the bushes.

The fox snarled while the young stag prepared to fight, which in Bambi's thought was a dumb decision even if he was a predator or Man. He saw the trap laid on the ground that had a bit of blood perhaps from the young stag. 

"Are you okay?"

He knew it was a very stupid question to ask.

The deer grunted in a very annoyed tone while the fox seemed more responsive, especially after Bambi said his next statements.

" I can help you both. "

" Can you treat injuries?"

The fox asked, his tone hopeful.

" Does he look like a healer?"

The deer countered, causing a wave of anger to wash over Bambi. He was just trying to help them.

" Well, I can help a little, but my... Nettla, can treat them. She's not far off. "

He said, looking directly at the young stag.

" Thank you. My tail is quite painful."

The fox said, looking very grateful. The stag only huffed as if to say that he could handle himself.

Bambi wanted to at least relieve their pain before leading them to Nettla, and perhaps call Friend Owl. Whilst walking he had seen some peppermint growing along the path. He went to grab some and heard the deer mutter something. He was sure it was nothing nice. He searched for it for a while before going back where the fox sighed in relief. 

" Chew on this peppermint, it should relieve some of your pain."

The fox looked at it skeptically but took it anyways. The deer just looked at it as if he were staring at poison.

" Don't take it if you don't want to but if you want to walk with that pain, be my guest. "

The stag glared at Bambi but took it after he had said those words. The fox said a thank you and the stag muttered it as well, which possibly was the first nice thing he had said. He led them back to their thicket where Nettla had been waiting for him. She got startled at seeing the animals he had brought back.

She, however, noticed their wounds before saying anything and a wave of sympathy flooded her,

" Come on dears, those look terrible. "

Both animals looked apprehensive of going to her but Bambi gestured at them to move forward. He asked Nettla if he should call Friend Owl but she dismissed him saying the wounds seemed to not have gone too deep. She congratulated him on getting the peppermint for them. He was incredibly pleased with himself. She decided to help the stag, who was more injured first. The stag took it pretty well and barely hissed. The fox, on the other hand, was very jittery. 

When they were both done, the sun was already beaming onto the forest. It was almost midday and the twittering of the morning birds had ceased and mellowed into occasional chirps that rang through the forest. The forest had relaxed as the sun rose in the skies. Bambi had a chance to observe the strangers. The fox was quite pleasant. He was reddish and his fur gleamed like a sunset under the daylight. He had nerves but a low smooth voice. He also seemed pretty young.

The stag had a gruff voice, it was slightly raspy, deep and his tone was straightforward and taut. He also had beautiful fur that held the sunlight. He seemed a year older than Bambi yet younger than Karus, but not by much. He carried anger in him like a personality. Even the way he spoke to Nettla was filled with a twinge of ire (perhaps at himself for getting injured) mostly overshadowed by gratitude. 

They learnt that the fox, Augustin, had been moving back to his home after a hunt when Man's trap caught his tail. He thought he was a goner when the stag had appeared and saved him but in the process, it had cut him. He had apologised and was about to go get help, before the stag had stopped him and said he could take care of it. That was when Bambi had found them. He then expressed his utmost gratitude to Bambi and Nettla over and over again. Nettla had asked the young stag his name, to which he gruffly shook his head. 

Bambi respected him a little more after the fox's recollection, not enough to excuse his rudeness but enough. The fox bid them adieu, after promising to visit, and went his way being warned by the stag to be more careful. Before he himself could leave, he sighed and thanked Nettla formally. Then he turned to Bambi.

" I'm grateful for your assistance. And sorry for my…earlier, it was uncalled for. "

He looked as if those words were bitter on his tongue and he needed to spit them out as fast as possible. He was quite formal though.

" Apology accepted... I could tell you were angry. "

Bambi, like anyone, held anger and annoyance, but the way one could try and hold water. It always flowed away through his body the way a stream flowed through the forest. On the other stag though, he could see the rage flowing him. It swirled in his veins, arteries and capillaries. It filled his lungs and sat like a rock in his stomach. They were different and the same.  One couldn't hold anger; another couldn't hold sadness. And were those emotions but the same thing in different forms.

" Of course you could tell. "

His tone was probably as playful as he could probably make it. Anyone else would probably take it as anger, but there was something different about it. Or perhaps it was just Bambi's wishful thinking, after all, he barely knew the young stag. 

" Will you tell me your name before we never see each other again?"

The truth was that Bambi doubted the stranger would ever be around those parts again. He at least wanted to get a name. He was being bold, for the first time in a while. He did not know why though, some inexplicable pull that flowed through him the moment he heard the groan.

" You said your name is Bambi?"

Bambi nodded. Augustin had asked for their names as he had told them his. There was a twinge of something unreadable in the stag's eyes; recognition and something more like understanding. He had heard of Bambi, of course he had.

" Then we shall meet and I'll tell you my name then. If you haven't already found out. "

With that he left. He had the slightest limp on his right hind leg, that Nettla said had been there too long for her to heal. He left behind his scent of sassafras, sweet violet and meadowsweet. Sassafras mainly grew in the South-West Forest, which was why many called it the Sassafras forest. 

He knew that he could ask around and easily find out the name of the deer but he wanted to hear it from him. He wanted to meet him once more and speak. He wanted to know the source of the anger, to find out what caused him to hold it so close to him. So he decided to wait. He went back and Nettla gave him a curious look which he pointedly ignored. She often told him, he made too many friends and was too kind.

They went into their cool thicket without a word.

🌼

Rage is complicated, no one can tame it. Some wear it like a second skin and some smother it with feathers till it suffocates. None wants to face it head on.

Bambi met the stag again, sooner than he thought he would. Under very similar circumstances. Truly, the chances of seeing two traps in the South was minimal, especially within a span of two weeks, but it was never zero. He was on another of his walks, after a week of not being able to be truly alone. At first, Nettla had been too tired to look for herbs, so he did it for her. Then visits to Aunt Ena and playing with Faline and Gobo. Then Flower had to drag him out to a once-in-a -lifetime blooming. Then Thumper and him caught up. And of course, Karus and Solon…

He had not had time to organise his thoughts. As much as he liked to ignore his apparent problems, starting with the fact that he had not yet spoken about his mother to anyone (He had actually become an expert in the art of avoiding the topic entirely), he needed time when his brain could relax rather than be distracted. It was a very chilly summer morning, surprisingly, when he decided to slip away from the thicket. He breathed in the peony-scented air of summer and let his thoughts flow out of his head together with the wind. He wandered as his mind did. He just wanted to clear his head, wash it away like a bad stain.

He thought of nothing and everything. His mind ebbed and flowed through the forest, meandering across the ridges, bumps, and hills. He let it run free, to lose some of those difficult thoughts and perhaps lose some of himself as well.

He didn't care where he was going, he moved with the forest.

Then he was suddenly stopped by a large mass of warm flesh. He looked up to see the stag who was standing in front of him. In front of him was another trap. Bambi was embarrassed, he had been so lost in his own mind to notice his surroundings. He felt his face heat up in bashfulness.

" Thank you."

" Think of it as even now. You helped me, I helped you. "

He huffed in indifference. He seemed to have less anger than when they last met. It seemed to be mellowed out, but then it returned in a tidal wave washing out any other emotions. 

" What were you even doing? You couldn't hear me when I called you. are you always this oblivious?"

He talked sharply and roughly, like he was scolding a child. Which Bambi did not appreciate, he barely looked older than him.

" I was just thinking. I seemed to have lost track."

There had been something that the other young stag had wanted to say but it was preceded by the rustling of leaves some distance from them. They stilled. They both caught the whiff of deer scent and their muscles relaxed.

The young stag just sighed, exasperated, and started moving away from the area. Bambi followed him and the stag said nothing. They walked until they got to some large rocks which the other deer traversed with practiced ease and he stopped, waiting for Bambi to cross. Bambi did it with much less grace and more heaving. Then he turned to a cave where he sat down and Bambi sat a reasonable distance from him.

He seemed intent on not speaking, which simply confused Bambi. If he hadn't wanted him to follow, then he could've stopped him or not waited for him. He looked at the young stag's side. He was kind of beautiful, but in a rugged sort of way. If only his behaviour was a little better, he would be quite pleasant. The cave was on the side of some hill. It was only led to by some very dangerous jagged rocks. They were also closer to the South-East. In general, their thicket and area was close to the Sassafras forest.

"What were you thinking about?"

The gruff voice startled him and he turned to the deer who was very pointedly not looking at him. 

" I don't even know. There was a lot on my mind. "

He replied truthfully for some reason. There was no reason to say the truth, but again, there was no need to lie.

The stag did not reply, and for some absolutely insane reason, Bambi moved closer to him. He wasn't close enough for their skin to touch. But he could still feel the warmth from the other’s body, or maybe he was growing even more mad and delusional.

" Are you going to tell me your name?"

Bambi already had an idea of who he was. He might have gotten a bit curious, and there were very limited South-Eastern deer who were in the South at the time.

" You haven't asked."

Bambi couldn't figure out the stag. He was indifferent, he was angry and playful in the span of a moment. He threw Bambi's head for a spin. He was the wind, he was abrupt and unpredictable.

" What is your name?"

Bambi humoured him and asked.

"Are you sure you haven't already heard princess?"

His tone was both sneering and playful. He knew that Bambi was a prince. He was signaling. He knew that Bambi would be able to deduce from that. It was a bit flattering actually, that the stag did not find him as stupid as he had earlier implied.

"Will you tell me or not?"

Bambi wanted to hear it from his own mouth. He wanted permission to use it. The deer sighed and let out a sound suspiciously like a laugh. 

" You're very pushy and annoying, has anyone ever told you that?"

Bambi had hoped he was not annoying or disruptive to anyone or anything. It was a deep-seated insecurity that he could never shake off. But he was not going to let it get to him, that was left for an alone crying session in the middle of the night.

" Will you answer me, princess? "

Bambi looked him dead in the eyes and asked for permission.

It was granted.

" Ronno. "

The word left him sharp and rough, ridged around the edges and ready to cut. 

" Ronno..."

The word was given back to him soft and sweet. It was said, the way one touches flower petals. Delicate with reverence.

" Don't wear it out."

It was sharp and practiced. Bambi did not mind, he smiled and whispered it under his breath. It got to Ronno's eyes and his ears, it filled his head, his bloodstream and his senses. He almost smiled but held himself, his anger had a reason. It was not some pathetic feat, he had a right to it. He had gone so many years with it running in his hollow bones like a wild horse.

"I'll try not to."

" Better do more than try princess. "

They fell into a short momentary silence before Bambi saw the sun and stood up quickly, muttering to himself how Nettla would be worried. He was about to bid goodbye to Ronno when he turned and asked if he could come back to that place. Ronno looked at his pleading eyes and nodded with some hesitation. Bambi said a quick thank you and rushed back home.

Ronno was left there with his thoughts. He had almost shown the fawn more than he intended. Bambi was interesting for sure, he wanted to know more about him. His past, his likes, his life. It was something he had suppressed for so long; any feelings that didn't include ire. He wanted to stamp it out as he did before, to bury them so deeply that the grave site would be forgotten. But he didn't, he allowed the young deer to come into a place he cherished and gave him allowance to do it again.

He cleared the thoughts before he could annoy himself even further. He had to go and see his father. He had been going with him to see the Great Prince about territorial matters between the East and South-East; Prince Romulus had let some of his subjects hunt on their lands. Both Silas and Romulus were very headstrong, so it had been going on for some time before they had brought the matter to the Great Prince. He knew that that would be his role one day, and had begged to come along.

That had caused quite a stir in the forest, but he always had. From the moment that Father had found him in that very cave and took him in, to the day he said that Ronno would be his heir. It was still there when animals found out about his slight limp. Disapproval had wafted through the forest like pollen in the spring.  Silas hadn't minded and laughed it off. 

He concluded that the meeting was over. He had not been allowed to actually sit at the decision-making. He understood that, but he wanted to barge in and demand respect, the way the princes did, without consequence. He wanted to be seated there and taken seriously but he knew his anger would only do the opposite. His antlers hadn't even come in fully and yet he wanted to be seated at the table of those whose antlers had seen more years than he would in five more.

He was lucky even for the crumbs that fell from the table.

He made his way back to the meeting area, which was a large willow tree as old as the forest itself. His mind was weighed with thoughts he had always carried; burdens he had never been destined to bear. But he was less angry. Bambi was perplexing to him. He had heard of his mother's death and everyone knew of his Father's neglect, although no one would dare say anything. They all agreed his duty to the forest was more important. 

He wondered why Bambi was kind to others, even when he seemed to not be kind to himself. Or was that a price one just has to pay to keep others happy. He put away those thoughts quickly enough. He didn't even know the deer that well, and he would never go on baseless gossip that twittered in the forest in waves. 

They were not alike, maybe partially similar, but at the end of the day, they were different. Ronno didn't bury his pain, he fed it to his anger and like the rabid animal that it was, it consumed it till there was very little left. Bambi pushed it down, past his stomach, past his feet and into the ground where he covered it up with dirt and stepped on it. They were different.

They were different.

The anger came back. It was fierce and thrummed under his skin.

It had never left.

He then spotted a deer moving towards him. Antlers that reached so high and an aura so bright, so golden that no one in the forest couldn’t have not known who he was. Ronno had been told tall fantastical tales about him as a child, and when he finally saw him, he was in awe. He had wanted to be him all his life. This great being who watched over everything and everyone. Ye who guarded the forest and walked with it. 

Then there he was walking towards him, the stag who hadn't spared a glance at him in every single interaction. Maybe he would walk past as he had done before. But he didn't.

" Thank you for saving him."

His voice was deep and reverberated in the woods like an echo. 

"It was no problem."

It was stupid but what else could one say. He was overwhelmed and in shock. He had thought it would be something great, and of course he saved someone, but it was because of his son. If it were some random animal, he would not have cared. 

" I will be forever in your debt."

And what could he say to back to that; that his son had helped him first? That he was indebted to Bambi? That there was definitely some deep internal pain as well as envy for Bambi somewhere deep in him?

" And if you see him, could you look out for him?"

That made him inexplicably enraged. He didn't know what Bambi was going through, but why should he a stranger watch over him, while his father was doing some princely bullshit? He was angry for the fawn that he was, the fawn that was abandoned then saw his family killed before him. He was angry at Bambi because he seemed to have good people despite his father. He resisted the urge to fight him, but one day he would and he would win. He would earn his respect; he would wound him.

" He can take care of himself."

That was what he said, instead of the vile words that mixed with bile in his stomach and like a geyser threatened to burst out. It was true he could, but as Silas said to him, he shouldn't have to. He obviously had deep scars that he kept picking, and Ronno only knew because his were in the same place. He said that instead of shouting that the older stag should do that himself.

The Great Prince had a look of disbelief that Ronno wanted to hit until it became trust in his son. But it didn't work like that. 

" Could you not tell anyone of this."

It wasn't a question. 

Whether it was about the conversation or Bambi, he did not care. There was barely anyone who would talk to him about it and the one who would, he knew that he couldn't keep it from him.

He nodded a quick curt nod and went ahead. He was even more angry. He had deduced that the meeting had ended and walked to where he found a very happy Silas, and he knew it had gone well. 

"Hey where did you go off to? Are you okay?"

Silas knew his anger like he knew his own hooves; like he knew his body. He had witnessed it first hand, had been on the receiving end of sharp hurtful words and anger that run like a river after a storm. He also knew that it was from a child left out in the cold.

" I'll tell you at home. "

They left the South and Silas spoke and Ronno listened. He could ignore the words and the pain of it all. He could discount the complicated questions that plagued him. He could even ignore Bambi, and his insufferable kindness that he didn't deserve, or the fawn's father that he admired so much yet held a personal anger towards. He could do that because he was going home and listening to his father's idiotic happy stories.