Chapter Text
Welcome to Hogwarts High School, your typical high school in Anywhere, USA. I will take you to Main Street, where two girls from Hogwarts are stopped at the intersection. They listen to pop music while bouncing to the beat.
And thus arrives our main character, Remus Lupin. He pulls his rundown pickup truck up next to the girls, shaking his head slightly at their taste in music. Remus listens to indie, and in his opinion, much better, music.
Remus Lupin rushes up the steps of Hogwarts. On the wall, there is a prominent poster, announcing the upcoming Yule Ball. Remus promptly tears it down.
“Hey!” a girl shouts. Remus pays her no mind and keeps walking down the hall.
Now, here in the Headmaster’s Office, we will meet our next character—James Potter. He stands in front of Headmaster Dumbledore’s desk.
Headmaster Dumbledore is furiously typing on his computer, apparently having paid no mind to James’ presence.
As Adrian’s hand slid up his lover’s creamy white thigh, he could feel his huge member pulsating with desire…
Eventually, Dumbledore looks up. “So, James. Here you go,” he says, handing over James’ schedule. “Nine schools in ten years… my, my… Army brat?”
“Yeah…, my dad’s a...”
Dumbledore cuts him off. “That’s enough. I’m sure you won’t find Hogwarts any different than your old school.” Something brown and sticky hits the window behind Dumbledore. It oozes down the glass. “Same little asswipe shit-for-brains everywhere.”
James is appalled. “Excuse me? Did you just say…? Am I in the right office?”
Dumbledore clucks his tongue. “Not anymore you’re not. I’ve got deviants to see and a novel to finish. Now scoot. Scoot!” Dumbledore absent-mindedly waves his hands in the direction of James.
James is still stunned. “Okay. Thanks,” he manages to squeak out. James leaves the office, accidentally bumping into someone. He mumbles a soft apology and scuttles out of the room.
And here we are introduced to our next character, none other than Sirius Black. He has a smirk on his face. Dumbledore looks up from his computer.
“Sirius Black,” Dumbledore says as he continues to type, searching for the perfect wording. “I see we’re making our visits a weekly ritual.” Dumbledore narrows his eyes at Sirius, who merely gives the headmaster a charming smile.
“Only so we can have these moments together… Should I get the lights?” Sirius asks, taking a step toward the light switch and, by pure happenstance, the doorway. He sports a slight smirk on his face.
Headmaster Dumbledore’s eyes twinkle. “Oh. Very clever,” he muses. “Says here you exposed yourself in the cafeteria?”
Sirius, despite his valiant efforts and cool-guy exterior, gets slightly red-faced. “I was just joking with the lunch lady. It was a bratwurst.”
The corners of Dumbledore’s eyes crinkle with laughter. “Bratwurst? Aren’t we the optimist? Next time, keep it in your pants, okay? Scoot!”
As Sirius swaggers out of his office, Dumbledore returns to his novel, rewriting part of the sentence he was on.
As Adrian’s hand slid up his lover’s creamy white thigh, he could feel his huge bratwurst pulsating with desire…
Our next character, a geeky-looking, rather short boy, hurries up to James in the hallway.
“Peter Pettigrew. I’m supposed to show you around.”
“Oh, hi,” James says, rather relieved. “Thank God! You know, they normally send down one of those audio-visual geeks.”
Peter looks embarrassed, but he quickly recovers. “I know what you mean…” Then, one of said ‘audio-visual geeks’ comes rushing up to Peter, pushing a large cart of film equipment.
“Hey, Peter, where should I put those slides?” the geek says. Peter ignores the geek and directs James further down the hall. The geek looks shocked, and calls for Peter before walking away, disgruntled.
“So, James, here’s the breakdown,” Peter says, checking James’ schedule. He points to a small congregation of tall people, all made from the same cookie-cutter. “Over there, you’ve got your basic beautiful people. Now listen. Unless they talk to you first, don’t bother.”
James smiles. “Is that your rule or theirs?”
“Watch,” Peter commands. He takes a step towards the group. “Hey there.”
“Geek,” one of the taller boys calls out. His friends clap him on the back and laugh. They all continue to laugh as James and Peter walk away.
“See that?” Peter asks.
Peter and James eventually end up in the school courtyard.
“To the left we have the coffee kids,” Peter says, in an almost joking fashion. He gestures to a small group of kids, all drinking, you guessed it, coffee. One bumps into another, sending his coffee across the ground. They get into a rather heated argument.
“These are your future MBAs—we’re all Ivy League accepted. Hey guys, how ya doin’?”
The small table of kids clad in business suits with fancy ties act as if Peter hadn’t said anything.
“Whatever,” Peter says, though he is clearly either annoyed or hurt. “Now over here…”
“Woah…” James exclaims. A tall girl with fiery red hair walks past with her friend. James’ eyes are glued to her retreating back.
“The ‘don’t even think about it’ group. That’s Lily Lupin.”
“I burn! I pine! I perish!” James says, putting a hand to his heart as he pretends to faint.
“Of course you do,” Peter says with sarcasm. “You know, she’s beautiful and deep. Pure.” James and Peter overhear a snippet of the conversation between Lily and her friend, Dorcas.
“Yup, see, there’s a difference between ‘like’ and ‘love’. Because I like my Converse, but I love my Prada backpack.” Lily says. Lily, unbeknownst to her peers, plays dumb for popularity. She doesn’t want to be hated like her brother, Remus.
“But I love my Converse.” Dorcas says.
“That’s because you don’t have a Prada backpack.” It is better, Lily thinks, to be shallow and well-liked than smart and hated.
“Oooh!” Dorcas says in awe.
“Listen,” Peter says to James. “Forget her. Incredibly uptight father and it’s a widely known fact that the Lupin siblings aren’t allowed to date.”
“What if?” James says.
Little do James, Sirius, Lily, Peter, and Remus know, their seemingly unrelated tales are about to converge.