Chapter Text
The first day, it's a bag of Hershey's kisses.
Not in their original packaging, however, oh no. They are wrapped (delightfully, Danny's brain almost adds before the part from New Jersey smacks it) in cellophane printed with penguins ice skating and kissing under mistletoe. The bag is tied at the top with a massive tangle of curled, glittery red ribbon.
Danny approaches it cautiously, as he has enough years on the force to recognize a homemade bomb when he sees one.
After examining it from all angles, though, he has to admit that it looks perfectly innocent. And what the heck, it's Friday afternoon, he can kick back a little. So he slices open the bag, unwraps a kiss, and pops it into his mouth-
-and immediately spits it back out, not even caring that he gets chocolate all over his desk (he's too preoccupied looking for something to wipe his tongue on).
Cherry Cordial Kisses. Disgusting.
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Danny puts the first gift down to a coworker just trying to spread holiday cheer and doesn't say anything about it.
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The second day, it's one of those stupid singing and dancing snowmen from a Hallmark store. It bursts to life and sings "Let It Snow" every time someone walks past it (or blinks an eyelash within a five mile radius, to be more accurate). And since Danny's office is the size of a shoebox, he's close to bashing it with a baseball bat by lunchtime.
Danny wraps it up in a blanket, dumps it in the trunk of his car, and takes it over to Gracie, who promptly names it Leopold and promises to adore it forever. Gracie is having trouble adjusting to living in a place with no snow for Christmas; and since Danny a) feels the same way and b) hates to see his daughter sad, he has trouble hating anything that puts the smile back on her face.
That doesn't mean he doesn't cringe when the song starts up for the 700th time.
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Putting his detective skills to good use, Danny mentally rounds up the usual suspects and begins to eliminate them.
This secret santa prank is one he can imagine Kono pulling, and she would be the one with easiest access to his office. However, she's been undercover as a glass-bottom boat tour guide for the last week, so she hasn't been anywhere near the office. Danny checks the logs, and they back up her alibi.
That doesn't mean she didn't get one of the family to do it, but there would be talk if Chin was around, and the people he asked haven't seen anyone unusual.
Of Five-O, that leaves Steve. Who is an asshole, but not usually this way- Steve'd been the one listening to Danny bitch for the past week about the ridiculousness of celebrating Christmas in a place with palm trees and how there was no Christmas spirit in bermuda shorts and how hanging lights on a surfboard just isn't right.
Plus, Steve doesn't seem like the type of guy who would be a ninja prankster. He'd stick around to see your reaction (perhaps capture it with a polaroid) and guffaw in your face.
So after the second day, Danny puts the gifts down to passive aggressive hazing of the new guy. Or some shit. He needs a beer.
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The third day, it's just a simple index card. And so much more than that.
The card reads: Level 2B, SL 73, 98-05-41
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Danny takes the elevator in the station to Basement Level 2, and finds Storage Locker 73. It's locked with a combination lock, and Danny spins the numbers: right 98, left 5, right 41. He opens the door to a blast of cold air and a flash of white.
He blinks a few times, and when his eyes adjust, he almost thinks he must have been knocked out. In the middle of the room is a real, living Christmas evergreen, decorated with lights and popcorn strings. Next to it is a side table with two mugs of cocoa and Christmas cookies (homemade; Danny would suspect Gracie if the frosting work wasn't so shoddy). Garland is strung along the walls, and stockings with each of the FIve-O members' names on are hanging from it.
And on the floor, swirled around Danny's feet, was snow.
Danny bends down to touch it; it's man-made, but realistic. Cold and powdery, and Danny clenches one fist in it before standing to face Steve, who's hovering near the tree with his hands in his pockets, grinning.
Danny shakes his head and can't help his own smile. "What the hell?" he asks.
Steve shrugs and comes closer, until he and Danny are holster to holster. "Had to stop your fuckin' mouth somehow, " he says, badly imitating Danny's Jersey accent.
"I'll stop your fucking mouth," Danny retorts, and kisses him-
-and almost immediately pulls back, gagging. Cherry Cordial Kisses. Disgusting.
"You Christmas heathen. You would like the bastard Hershey's flavors."
Steve looks offended, but before he can comment, Danny switches into detective mode.
"Ok, so I get the kisses now -do not even," he adds when Steve opens his mouth with a smirk. "And...this," he gestures to the room, "But why the stupid, annoying snowman?"
Steve narrows his eyes a little. "Gracie didn't like it?"
And for that Danny has to kiss him, gross cherry breath and all.