Work Text:
Lost.
One word that carries so much weight. Losing hope, losing opportunities, lost. And right now, Tooru was feeling the full brunt of it all.
He let out a bitter laugh as he looked up at the star-studded sky, as if the heavens were trying to console him. But rather than finding solace in the celestial display, Tooru felt even more frustrated.
"I'm feeling miserable, and the sky decides to put on a show?" he muttered, unsure who he was talking to. "I wish a big storm would come and cancel the Olympics already." He grumbled with a little pout on his face.
Tooru leaned back against the bench he was sitting on, his eyes drifting back to the Olympic Village, which was relatively quiet since it was quite late.
He sighed deeply, rubbing his face roughly as he recalled how his team was soundly defeated by Germany earlier that day, effectively ending Argentina's chances of advancing to the quarterfinals in this year's Olympics.
Tears welled up in his eyes as he confronted the harsh reality of his team's situation.
"Fuck," he murmured quietly, burying his face in his hands. He could feel his heart pounding furiously, making his chest ache.
This was the first time Tooru had felt this crushing sense of loss since Karasuno defeated Aoba Johsai and dashing his dreams of reaching Nationals with his three best friends back in high school.
And now, he was experiencing it all over again—losing the hope of advancing to the Quarterfinals in the Olympics.
Tooru tilted his head back to keep the tears from falling and slowly tried to steady his breathing, attempting to calm his racing heart.
After a few moments, he managed to regain some composure and took his phone out of his pocket.
His fingers quickly scrolled through his contacts, and he smiled faintly when he saw Hajime's name at the top of it all, he remembered that he set his best friend as one of his emergency contacts.
But his smile faded as he hesitated to press the call button next to Hajime's name. Doubt crept into his mind, making him pause for a moment.
"He's probably busy, isn't he?" Tooru muttered softly. "Since Japan has an important match tomorrow." He continued, speaking to no one in particular.
Ah, how Tooru longed for their High School days, when he could easily monopolize his bestfriend's time without a care in the world, unburdened by the responsibilites they have now.
Tooru sighed once more before shifting his gaze to the fountain in front of him, its gentle sounds contrasting sharply with the turmoil inside him.
He decided to not calling Hajime, instead, he place his phone on his lap and savor the summer breeze in silence.
All was peaceful until someone, whose presence was the last thing Tooru wanted, appeared out of nowhere.
Tooru clicked his tongue as the person approached and stood beside him.
"What?" Tooru said defensively. "Are you here to tell me I should come to the Japanese National Team instead?" he snapped.
Ushijima blinked several times, probably not expecting Tooru to burst the moment he appeared, "No," he said calmly, "I just wanted to see you again."
Tooru was taken aback by Ushijima's words. Feeling a bit guilty for being so hostile to his long-time rival, he then sighed and half-heartedly shifted his position, implicitly inviting Ushijima to sit next to him.
The captain of the Japanese team offered a small smile before sitting down and letting the silence settle around them.
"Why don't you call him?" Ushijima asked after a moment. "Iwaizumi, I mean." He clarified, glancing at Tooru’s phone, which still displayed Hajime's contact.
Tooru sighed. "I don't want to bother him," he replied. "Didn't Tobio create another scandal? I'm sure he's causing enough trouble for everyone in your team."
Ushijima chuckled softly. "It's not a scandal. Kageyama just went public with his relationship."
Tooru rolled his eyes. "For a setter with many female and gay fans, it's a scandal."
Ushijima's quiet laughter grew more robust, and Tooru couldn't help but smile slightly at the sound. It was actually very hard to believe they could sit and share a laugh, given their long history of rivalry.
After a moment, Tooru hummed nonchalantly as he looking up at the starry sky.
"So, what are you doing here?" Tooru asked after a while.
"Didn't I already tell you?" Ushijima replied almost instantly. Tooru could feel the intensity of Ushijima's gaze and found himself completely drawn to meet those olive eyes. "I wanted to see you again," Ushijima continued earnestly.
Tooru was stunned, completely captivated by the depth in Ushijima's eyes. He doesn't know why but he could feel his heart started pounding again, it was different this time, it wasn't from sadness, it was from something else that he, himself, doesn't even understand. The sensation created an euphoric thrill and successfully make his stomach flutter.
Feeling uncomfortable with this new emotion, Tooru looked away to avoid Ushijima's gaze, which seemed to have a powerful effect on him.
"Did you come to see me out of pity?" He snorted.
There was a frown on Ushijima's face when he replied with, "Why would I?"
Tooru let out a bitter laugh. "Because I failed again," he said. "I lost, Ushiwaka, to you, to them."
He took a heavy breath, feeling the weight on his shoulders almost unbearable, and tears welled up in his eyes once more. "I should have given them better sets, I should have scored more points with my serves." He said nonchalantly.
"You've done enough, Oikawa,"
"No!" Tooru exclaimed. "It's not enough! Because we lost," he said, frustration evident in his voice and tears streaming down his face.
"Oikawa," Ushijima called out calmly.
"It's not enough, I swear, it will never be enough if I can't win," Tooru ranted, ignoring Ushijima's attempt to calm him down.
"Oikawa!"
"I should've worked harder!" he screamed. "I should've—"
Before Tooru could finish, Ushijima grasped his face with his large hands, forcing their eyes to meet. Then, Ushijima silenced Tooru with a kiss, his lips pressing gently but firmly against Tooru's, leaving him wide-eyed in shock.
Tooru froze as he felt the softness of Ushijima's lips against his. When Ushijima finally pulled back, they both remained silent. Tooru was processing what had just happened, while Ushijima gave him the space to do so.
After a moment, Tooru gathered the courage to look at Ushijima, who was still gazing at him intently with an expression Tooru couldn't quite decipher.
Tooru should have been furious. He should have demanded an explanation for what Ushijima had just done. But instead of anger, a strange, unfamiliar warmth settled over him, leaving him confused, breathless, and only able to respond with,
"Is that how you comfort people, Ushikawa-chan?" He sneered.
"Only you, Oikawa," Ushijima replied without hesitation, as if the answer was obvious. His hand reached out to wipe away Tooru's tears. "It's incredible how you look even more beautiful when you cry," Ushijima whispered, making Tooru freeze again.
Seriously, what is this guy doing? Tooru wondered.
Tooru's brow knit together, trying to make sense of Ushijima's oddly unusual behavior tonight. But he couldn't—Ushijima's actions were completely irrational.
"What?" Tooru said after that, his face showing the confusion he currently felt. "Do you like me or something?" he continued half-jokingly, trying to lighten the strange atmosphere between them.
But then, an unexpected thing happened as Tooru could see a flash of surprise in Ushijima's eyes, which stirred a flicker of anxiety within him.
"You..."
"What?" Tooru interrupted impatiently. "I, what?"
Instead of answering, Ushijima withdrew his hand from Tooru's cheek and looked away.
"You don't know," Ushijima whispered, burying his face in his hands. "Shit, that makes sense now. You don't know."
Ushijima's muttering deepened Tooru's frown in confusion. "What don't I know?" he asked, gripping Ushijima's shoulders to make him look up, "What don't I know, Ushiwaka?" He repeated, forcing the latter to answer him.
Finally, Ushijima straightened his posture, taking a deep breath before meeting Tooru's gaze.
"I like you," Ushijima said firmly, leaving no room for doubt and hesitation. "I've liked you since high school, Oikawa," he confessed.
Ushijima's declaration left Tooru completely stunned. He blinked, his mind racing to catch up with the moment. He opened his mouth to speak but found no words coming out. The revelation hit him like a tidal wave, overwhelming and disorienting.
"You... what?" he finally managed to say, his voice barely a whisper.
"I've admired you for a long time, Tooru," Ushijima continued, his voice steady but softer than usual. "Your determination, your skill, your spirit. I couldn't help but be drawn to you."
Ushijima sighed, "I thought I made it obvious back in high school and assumed you just didn't feel the same. Fuck, everything makes sense now," he said, running a hand through his hair in frustration.
Tooru, still reeling from the shock, widened his eyes at Ushijima's revelation. "Are you saying you were trying to hit on me the entire time when we were in high school?" He asked in disbelief.
Ushijima looked at him with a horrified expression, causing Tooru to tilt his head in confusion. However, Ushijima's next words only deepened Tooru's frustration.
"What do you mean? I’ve never hit you, Oikawa," Ushijima said earnestly.
This idiot doesn’t understand that the word 'hit' has two different meanings, does he? Tooru sighed, rubbing his face in exasperation.
"I just wanted your attention," Ushijima added, trying to clarify.
"That’s exactly what I mean, you dumb, dumb!" Tooru cried, "You were trying to get my attention so I could be your... what? Boyfriend?"
"Yes? Doesn’t that seem obvious?" Ushijima replied, there was a mix of confidence and confusion in his tone.
"NO, IDIOT!" Tooru exclaimed frustratingly, "It looks like you were just being an asshole the entire time!" Tooru shot back, exasperation evident in his voice.
"Ass— what? Are you serious?" Ushijima's eyes widened in disbelief, clearly caught off guard by Tooru's words, as if he hadn’t seen it coming.
"Oh my God," Tooru groaned as he looked up, trying to regain his composure as well as praying for every God to give him some strength, "You’re clearly good at nothing except volleyball. How have you survived this long, Wakatoshi?"
Tooru’s words only seemed to amuse Ushijima, who couldn’t help but let out a small, a genuine, warm smile that made Tooru’s heart flutter unexpectedly.
"What? Why are you smiling? I’m literally dissing you!" Tooru hissed, clearly surprised by Ushijima’s reaction.
"You just called me Wakatoshi," Ushijima said, his voice low and tender.
"That’s literally your name," Tooru replied as he rolled his eyes lazily at Ushijima.
"Yes, but I’ve never heard you use it before. It sounds nice coming from you." Ushijima’s gaze held Tooru’s, and the intensity of it made Tooru’s cheeks flush.
Tooru felt his heart race. and he despised how much he enjoyed the sensation. So instead of admitting his feelings, he opted to be a little shit and said, "You talk like you still have feelings for me."
In reality, Tooru's attempt to be a little shit completely backfired, because in the next moment, Ushijima's expression turned serious as he replied, "I wouldn’t have kissed you if I didn’t have feelings for you, Oikawa."
The confession hung between them, and Tooru must admit that his heart skipped a beat. The noise of the world faded away. And for a moment, everything outside their conversation fell away. Tooru felt the warmth radiating from Ushijima, a comforting presence that made him forget about anything else.
Tooru couldn't recall the last time he experienced such a profound sense of comfort. Perhaps it was during high school when he spent carefree days with Hajime, Issei, and Takahiro. Yet, the comfort he felt then was distinctly different from what he experienced now. With his friends, he felt a warm familiarity that made their time together enjoyable. But with the man beside him, Tooru felt a longing for something deeper.
His cheeks warmed again as he acknowledged that Ushijima's presence in his life wasn’t as burdensome as he had thought. In fact, he found himself genuinely relishing the moments he shared with Ushijima.
How did it take me this long to realize? Tooru mused silently.
"Oikawa."
Ushijima's deep voice pulled Tooru from his reverie. "Huh? Yeah?" he responded, slightly flustered.
Ushijima offered a faint smile before adding, "You don’t have to think about it. It’s all right." His voice was soothing.
Tooru frowned slightly. Ah, is he trying to avoid an awkward situation? A small smile crept onto Tooru's face.
Clearing his throat, Tooru asked, "Do you have your phone with you?"
The question seemed to catch Ushijima off guard, but after a moment, he nodded, wordlessly acknowledging Tooru’s request.
Tooru extended his hand toward Ushijima. "Let me have it for a moment," he requested.
Still looking a bit perplexed, Ushijima retrieved his phone from his pocket and handed it to Tooru without asking any questions.
Tooru beamed with satisfaction as he took the phone, his fingers quickly flying over the screen. A few moments later, his own phone, which wasstill resting comfortably in his lap, chimed with a notification. Tooru's smile widened even more.
"There you go," he said, returning Ushijima's phone. "That’s my number. Save it."
Ushijima blinked in surprise, clearly processing what had just occurred. And by the time he realized what was happening, Tooru had already risen to his feet.
"Oi—"
"Wakatoshi," Tooru called softly, leaning in slightly as he faced Ushijima, who remained seated on the bench. "Make sure to do it properly this time."
Ushijima's eyes widened in astonishment, and Tooru couldn't help but grin at his reaction.
"Oikawa—"
"I'm leaving the Olympic Village tomorrow morning with the team," Tooru cut in, "But we’ll be in Paris for another week," he continued, "So take me out on a date when you have some free time." With that, he flashed a teasing yet genuine smile before turning to walk away, leaving Ushijima momentarily speechless without giving him the time to reply.
Tooru then hummed to himself as he strolled back to the building where he and his team were staying during the Olympics. He wouldn't admit it out loud, but thanks to Ushijima, his mood were lifted significantly. He hadn't anticipated that the presence of his rival would make such a difference in his mood.
Feeling his phone vibrate, Tooru glanced at the message on the screen, and a smile broke across his face as he read the messages,
Unknown Number:
I will make sure to do it right this time.
Unknown Number:
Get ready, Tooru.
In the end, Paris isn’t so bad after all.