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It was a lovely night, her lover looked glorious with her white hair lit by both the torches and the stars of the night. All of her friends were here, courtesy of Withers, or at least mostly here - Lae'zel's projection was the most the githyanki could do at a time of great strife. Bianka was ecstatic to see them and grateful they came after the long few months.
But there was something under her skin, itching and aching to come out. It made her feel like that tadpole was still there in her head, though it crawled into her throat and clutched tight at her heart. Why was she so nervous to be back around her old friends? It should be easy, comforting even.
Her fiancé seemed to be distracted by good wine to notice her discomfort which she relieved in, though as she made her way around she could feel eyes on her. It was eerily similar to how she used to feel at home and it made her shiver.
Being the leader of the group had its perks and flaws, she supposed. At least these eyes she knew.
There was no avoiding it, and he'd be who she was hoping to talk to first in the first place - so she made her way quietly over to knowing red eyes as he crouched by the fireplace like a moth, seeking the warmth of it to heat his cold bloodless skin.
"It looks like you want to be anywhere but here, but I know that is not to be true. Did you see a ghost on your way here?" He jests, though there's a kind inquiry to those words. It's an opening to talk, but subtle enough that the others would think it to be his usual prods of teasing. Trust Astarion to get straight to the point, he knows you too well. With a glance to the others, she lets out an anxious and fiddles with her hands to hide her nerves.
At this the man seems to pause and the concern begins to show on his face, the smile slipping. "Bianka. I meant it as a jest, I didn't actually think-" he cut himself off as he catches her gaze lingering on the others. Taking a moment, inching closer to her to sit beside her. Astarion, choosing to sit in the dirt with her with his luxurious clothing.
He reaches over slowly and takes one of her shaky hands into his own comfort without direct attention to her clearly building emotional distress. It reminds her of days long past of them sitting late at night as Astarion spoke of his memories. Being an elf and a drow and only being able to trance - both tend to not indulge unless necessary. Many nights they spent like this, though typically reversed.
"Darling. Whatever it is, I have you. It will hurt, but you will not break." Fingers closing around her own, having brought her left hand into his. Bianka nods, suddenly feeling teary eyed and her throat sore. It would be a terrible night to cry, when she's finally amongst her friends but a mirror can't always be clear.
Bianka isn't loud, the tears drip slowly and she turns back to the fire to hide it from her friends gathered a few feet behind them at the table. With her right hand she wipes her eyes, feeling a relief go through her. She's fine, she's safe. And there is no one who would judge her for what she wants to say. What she feels she needs to do.
With a newfound determination she steels herself, turns to look her closest friend in the eye. "It's about my family. It's.. similar to yours," she said with guilt at even suggesting the comparison. You had people who cared, her brain said. She shut it out as she watched the grim look dawn on Astarions face alongside anger. Not anger at her, she realized but for her.
Astarion looked like he was about to declare a quest for vengeance on her behalf when a voice spoke out. "Sorry to interrupt, but you're projecting a little hard right now. Are you alright, Soldier?" Bianka breaks away from him, hands separating to look and see Karlach and Shadowheart approaching.
"I think the better question is, are we welcome to join the conversation? I never thought we'd be keeping secrets again.. especially from each other." Guilt renews as she stands to join her partner, the look of hurt in her eyes is one she never wished to bestow upon. Astarion is not far behind in joining her and she can already feel him bristling like a cat beside her at the accusation but she shakes her head.
"I'm sorry. It wasn't meant to be a secret. It's just very difficult to talk about. I found it easier to talk to someone who went through the same things I did." Astarion looks ready to stab any of them if things go south but her focus is on Shadowheart.
"She has a point, Soldier. Me and Wyll are the same way. You got to live it to really know." Shadowheart looks up at Karlach as she processes the situation and Bianka can see as she realizes she misinterpreted the situation.
"I apologize, I was being needlessly jealous wasn't I? I'm not used to being around our companions anymore. I forgot you two are close." she admits, sounding bashful for being envious. Over her and Astarion of all people.
Bianka smiles at her fiancé shakily and shakes her head. "You were, but I am glad that you came over. I want to talk to you two about this and I couldn't figure out how. I know.. we don't have our tadpoles anymore, but maybe Karlach could help show you? It would be easier to do that than to just.. explain." Her family situation was complicated, and there was no need to go into every detail. Just the where, why and the who she is looking for.
Astarion looks a little unsure with the whole situation. "This isn't the best idea you've had, Bia. You could let out memories you don't mean too if you aren't focused." The implications are there; you could reveal more than what you want. He knows as it's happened to him. But she just gives him a small smile and a nod, knowing she is in a safe place. "I trust you all. I know I'll be okay. I need to do this to.. explain what's been on my mind." Bianka looks to Karlach and then to Shadowheart, who takes her hand to hold.
With that she nods to Karlach. "I should be able to cut that off before it gets to anyone else but in case I don't, we'll be here for you alright? I may not be as warm anymore but I can brain-feed you comforting thoughts!"
With that you all settle back around the fire and you focus.
She starts small by picturing the view of the city from her room. Menzoberranzan. My home. Bianka turns the focus to her family mansion, in all its three story glory. It still looked like a prison, with the large spiked fences. My family, Bianka pictured the portrait of the four of them - unsmiling and mostly looking unhappy. It is a few centuries old by now. Her brother still a child, seated on their mother's lap. Curly white wisps of hair on the top of his head and red eyes like hers and a glare at the painter that could kill.
Herself, clutching onto a spell book like a lifeline in between her mother and sister, who held a disinterested look on her face with a whip and rapier in its scabbard. Her father's hand gripped on her own shoulder, standing behind her two feet taller. While her mothers expression was hollow, no smile with empty eyes.
And of course there was her own expression, an echo of her mother's face but with a well practiced smile. She only just looked nervous to be painted though the reality was that she was terrified of the man behind her. I want to find them, but to do that I have to confront him.
Rather than linger on the portrait she pulls a memory, the most simplest example of who he is. She is silently following her father as he went about "making sure their products are top quality" as they watched from the balcony above where her older sister ordered people around like it was natural for her. Slaves, they were slaves. Though the lack of punishment clearly displeased her father, as he began to bark out orders at her sister making her flinch at his side. Today, she was lucky he didn't notice. That he wasn't the focus of his ire or beloved attention at this moment.
Bianka pushed the memory away quickly, taking a deep breath and remembering Shadowheart's hand in hers. She opened her eyes to find the three and more with her, surprise and shock on their faces but also anger. The others kept their distance as they watched, having caught awareness of what was occurring at Shadowheart's rather unsubtle interruption but being respectful of Bianka's space as she opened up.
"My sister got out first. Not out of the city but away from him. It got worse after that for all of us, because he only sees other people as tools for him. I tried to send some correspondence to the last location I knew she was at but.. I didn't get anything back." She paused, worrying. There was no way her father would have gotten her sister back again, but she hoped she at least hadn't gotten herself into worse hands within the city's military. There was a slight fear that maybe she was or had been in the Absolutes' army.
"My mother should still be there at the manor. I don't think I can help her, she was lost long before I was born. My brother.. he must be dead. When I got out of the manor, he was supposed to be with me but we got separated by guards, he was injured and I was right there. I didn't want to go back. So I.. ran." Speaking of these things at least, were easier than remembering them. "But I need to know. I have to make sure. Just.. something is telling me, singing to me that something - is not right."
"Closure," Shadowheart answered her. "I think that's what you may need." Her green eyes held love in them, and Bianka let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding on to. "When I had to face Shar and her web of lies, you were there for me for everything and in between. I will be beside you for this and eternity, as long as you will have me, no matter the choice you make."
Astarion gives an exasperated sigh, "Ugh, don't start spewing this love spittle at each other so close in my vicinity. I've already had enough the last time around. Nevertheless, you know I'm always for revenge plots. Just say the word and we'll go kill the damned bastard."
"You deserve your freedom too. I understand wanting answers, and if answers is what gives you that freedom then I'll be one step behind you to help break you out when you need it." Karlach's gentle voice echoes into her head.
Bianka, surrounded by her closest friends, can't help but laugh with relief, her shoulders shaking slightly as she teared up again. "Thank you.. all of you. I don't know where I'd be now if we didn't get stuck in those pods."
"Well, certainly not here but it's best not to dwell on it mate. I'm glad we're all here together too." Karlach looks at the three white haired elves, if it weren't for one of them being a drow you'd think she'd be the odd one out. "Curious to say, why ask me to come with you? I'm not exactly well, subtle company. I'm sure Wyll would have joined you."
Bianka shook her head, "I doubt Mizora would let him leave the Hells' for a detour. We're lucky he's even here for the party," she says as she peers over to Wyll and Lae'zel chatting quietly off to the side. To anyone else outside their party it would look unusual but she can tell Wyll is trying to flirt and fiercely being outmaneuvered by the look on his face.
That was the thing about their party; while conversations tended to get eavesdropped on after a while everyone got the sense to share some sense of privacy to others' more sensitive conversations. Except maybe Astarion, he doesn't give two shits and will tease you or use just about anything for as long as he can get away with before someone threatens to smite him (Thank you, Shadowheart).
"I have done some preparations. I have a shape-shifting scroll, since the helm we found would be ill fitting. There's also invisibility I can use. I'm still deciding what to prepare but I shouldn't need anything drastic. I figured I could give you the scroll, Karlach."
She gives off a feeling of surprise, and mimics one of joy that feels somewhat echoed in her brain.
"Drow society can be.. a lot. A lot of things are just simply structured to benefit those with power so in turn, they can support the ideals of the Lolth. Another selfish god," she says as she glances to Lae'zel and Shadowheart. "You will see things that are cruel, and you will not be able to do much about it. I figure you know, but I still feel I should.. warn you."
"Nothing can keep me from staying at your side," Shadowheart assures, hands now lightly brushing onto her forearm. "Should need be, Selûne will guide my way back to you."
Astarion waves in agreement, "I'm a rogue, dear. If need be I can simply whisk you away to safety."
"If you think that will change our mind, I worry you forgot about our whole journey to get here in the first place. You're stuck with us!" Karlach says.
Bianka's eyes water again and she uses one of her hand still holding Shadowheart to wipe her eyes. "Thank you. Thank you," the drow repeats.
Her fiance takes said hand and kisses in before kissing her cheek, "Of course, love. Now why don't we relax a bit and enjoy the rest of the night? We will take things easy but there's still plenty of time to go until the sun rises." Bianka nods in response, leaning into Shadowheart's embrace. She feels a hand on her back, and out of the corner of her eye sees Astarion as he moves his hand in a comforting gesture.
"It is what we do now, isn't it? Ruin and kill each other's masters." He says with half wonder in his voice at the realization as his eyes find Bianka's own then flick over to Wyll.
"I'd like to think it's something that was fated to happen. All of us have changed for the better, together." Shadowheart says with a smile.