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"Unnie. When are you finally gonna confess to her? It's been way too long and time is ticking. Theres so many people in line that want her." Sujung said seriously to Jiyoon who was currently wasted. "Theres no chance. She will never like me back. Hell, shes on a fucking date with Anton right now!" She replied angrily. "That is because you never make a first move!" Sujung retorted. "And if I do? Will she magically like me back? I don't wanna risk our friendship just because of my stupid feelings." She said with finality and stood up to get another shot of alcohol. "You're so dense unnie." Sujung mumbled while staring at Jiyoon's back.
______
It all started when Jiyoon was in her junior year of high school. Jiyoon didn't know how and when she started falling for her best friend. She only realized it when the younger dropped a bomb on her saying that she might be interested in a boy named Yujin who was her classmate. Jiyoon clearly remembers how the younger girls eyes shined brightly while ranting to her about the boy. Her heart ached in a way that was unexplainable. She didn't know why she was feeling like this and ended up pushing those feelings aside.
It got progressively worse when she would see the two together at school. Looking at them ignited anger within her. She wanted to snatch Jungeun away from him and tell him that she was only hers. Still, the older couldn't put a proper wording on why she felt like this. So, she did what she thought would be the best. Ask Sujung for advice.
Nope it wasn't the best choice. She regrets asking Sujung because shes even more confused now. "Unnie, it's so obvious you like her. No best friend would feel this way when their friends finally find someone. Plus, the way you rant to all of us about Jungeun proves it even more." Sujung paused for a bit then continued. "It may seem confusing at first but take your time figuring out your feelings, unnie. Don't rush it. We'll be here to help you out whenever you need us yeah?" She said and patted Jiyoon's shoulder.
After the revelation, Jiyoon was lying down on her bed, drowning in her thoughts. Did she really like Jungeun or was it only infatuation? What scares her more is that what if Jungeun finds out about this little secret of hers. She couldn't afford to lose the younger girl. Just as she was thinking hard, her phone buzzed. She picked it up and saw the caller id. It was Jungeun. Why would the girl suddenly call this hour. Getting a bit worried, she picked up the call.
"Jungeunie? Are you okay? Why'd you suddenly call—"
Jiyoon got cut off before she could even finish her sentence. "Unnie~" Jungeun squealed, sounding extremely happy. "Sorry for calling you this late, I just can't keep it in any longer." Jungeun continued. "Did something exciting happen?" Jiyoon asked relived, grateful the younger wasn't in any kind of danger. "Mhm~ more than exciting and of course, you're the first person I thought I should tell." Jiyoon just hummed, heart beating fast at what Jungeun just revealed. The older didn't reply and Jungeun took this as a cue to continue.
"Yujin finally asked me out! He wants us to go to the movies tomorrow and I can't sleep because I'm too excited!" Jungeun finally let out. Jiyoon felt her heart drop. She didn't reply for awhile, still processing what Jungeun had just told her. "Unnie? Did you fall asleep?" The younger asked which broke Jiyoon out of her trance. "Huh? No.. I'm sorry" Jiyoon said barely audible. "Im so.. happy for you Jungeunie. That boy better treat you the best or else I'll beat him up to death." Jiyoon choked up, trying her best not to show that she was disappointed. "Listen Jungeunie. Unnie is really tired okay? Call me tomorrow after your date and tell me everything that happens okay?" The older ended the call, a tear making its way down her face.
Earlier she wasn't sure of how she felt, but as of right now shes certain that her feelings are more than just admiration or infatuation. The thought of losing Jungeun to a guy really hit a gut in her chest. She wishes that it was her that Jungeun looked at instead. That night, Jiyoon cried herself to sleep. Who knew loving someone could hurt this much?
~
Not long after Yujin and Jungeun officially became an item. That didn't stop Jiyoon from supporting her best friend and proving whatever she needed though. The love she had for her may be unrequited, but she didn't care. As long as Jungeun was by her side, it was more than enough for her.
~
Jiyoon was currently out with Koko and Sujung at a small restaurant near their school. Koko lost a bet which ended up with her having to buy Sujung and Jiyoon a meal. "I always lose these bets! Are you sure you both didn't do some secret magic on me?" Koko asked with her eyebrows raised, her lips slightly pouting. Sujung flicked her forehead. "Maybe if you study well on these tests you wouldn't have to buy us a meal." She scolded. "You ace every exam, even getting more than us every semester, but you can't pass your tests?" Sujung said astonished. Jiyoon just chuckled at her friend's petty argument. "Kids stop fighting and get our food already." Jiyoon said in between their argument. "Kids?" Koko said, holding her hand out to her chest, acting offended. "This kid will tell Jungeun that you secretly like her~" She teased sticking her tongue out to Jiyoon and ran away before the older could do anything to her.
Jiyoon just shook her head and looked outside the window. She was admiring the view in front when she noticed a familiar silhouette standing not too far from the restaurant. Jiyoon looked closer and it was none other than Han Yujin. But Yujin wasn't alone. He was with a girl that was not Jungeun. "What the fuck?" She muttered. Yujin was pining the girl against the wall, openly flirting with her. Jiyoon took a picture to show Jungeun later on and informed Sujung that she was gonna go check something out for a bit.
Adrenaline was rushing in every single part her body and she walked as fast as she could to where Yujin was. How could he do this to Jungeun? The girl was so in-love with him and this is how he pays her back? She knew from the start this guy was not to be trusted.
When she got close enough to where Yujin and the girl was, Jiyoon grabbed his shoulder harshly and didn't hesitate to swing at his face. "You fucking bitch. How could you do this to Jungeun?" She cursed him and punched his cheekbone. The boy obviously did not let this slide and swung back at her. "Jungeun is easy to sway. Shes so naive." Yujin said with a smug smile and punched Jiyoon's stomach. The pain didn't even match the anger she felt right now. Heat rushed up to her face once again and went all out on Yujin's face. "Why do you even care about a girl like her so much? She's too boring, no fun." Yujin provoked the girl once more. She just stayed mum and released all her anger on the boy.
If it wasn't for Sujung and Koko pulling her back, she swears she would've killed Yujin on spot. "Unnie! Stop it you're gonna break his nose!" Sujung said concerned. "What happened here?!" She then asked. "This.. this motherfucker here is cheating on Jungeun. What a bitch." Jiyoon replied in pain and in anger. Koko scoffed, "I knew we shouldn't have trusted you." She said and kicked Yujin whose face was bloody on the floor. "Koko, take Jiyoon unnie home and call Jungeun. I'll deal with this twink." Koko just nodded and took the bloody Jiyoon to her house.
—
Jungeun was now at the scene, staring worriedly at the beaten up Jiyoon. After Koko explained everything that happened, Jungeun couldn't help but feel guilty. "Unnie, you shouldn't have went out of your way for me. I would've dealt with him on my own." The younger said looking down. "Jungeun, you know I would not let anyone disrespect you like that. He deserved all those punches for saying those things to you. Why'd you even date that boy?" Jiyoon said, still pissed, remembering what the boy said. "And he was cheating on you so openly! How could you expect me not to do anything?" She continued, eyes shut tight because of the pain on her face. "If you don't believe me, you can open my phone and check the photo that I took." Jiyoon said before finally going quiet, eyes still closed.
Jungeun didn't say anything and just stared at Jiyoon. She didn't need to check the older's phone because she believed her a hundred percent. Instead, she got up and took the first aid kit, opening it and treating Jiyoon's bruises. Jiyoon opened her eyes and hissed because of the sudden contact of the alcohol on her face. They both stayed quiet and Jungeun just kept treating her bruises. Jiyoon was just staring intently at Jungeun whose eyebrows were furrowed, clearly concentrated at what she was doing.
The close proximity made it harder for Jiyoon not to grab Jungeun by the neck and kiss her. She also tried her best not to stare directly at her lips. Jiyoon barely even felt the pain anymore because she was too distracted by the girl infront of her. "And.. done!" Jungeun said, finally backing away from Jiyoon who was just staring at her. "Is there something on my face, unnie?" The younger asked. "Hm? Ah.. no sorry" Jiyoon said realizing she had been staring for too long.
Suddenly, Jiyoon pulled Jungeun close to her and hugged her. "Thank you for taking care of my bruises Jungeunie. I should be the one taking care of you right now. It's probably awful to go through a break up like this." Jiyoon said patting her back. "Don't worry unnie, It doesn't sting that much. I knew underneath that facade he was a jerk." She replied smiling. "Im just glad you're not that badly hurt. Please don't get in that kind of trouble again." Jungeun worriedly told her. This made Jiyoon's heart warm up at ease and just hugged her tighter. "For you I'd be more than willing to risk my life."
~
Their bond over the years just kept growing stronger and stronger with Jiyoon still not confessing to Jungeun. She didn't wanna be selfish and just kept all of her feelings to herself. This little secret of her turned into a karma that reflected all of the feelings she kept hidden because Jungeun was finally entering her first serious relationship.
~
It was Jungeun's last year of high school and Jiyoon's first year of university. This was the first time the two would be separated from each other and Jungeun promised she would soon follow Jiyoon in the same university.
Love became a serious topic for Jungeun now. She wanted to find that dream person who would take care of her and love her unconditionally. For Jiyoon, love was Jungeun. She didn't want anyone else but her. And even though she knew Jungeun would never be hers, she will still love her and treat her like shes the only one in the world that matters to her.
She didn't know that what was coming would shatter her all over again.
Jungeun visited Jiyoon's apartment appearing all giddy and jumpy. Jiyoon was confused as she doesn't remember there being a special occasion and asked what was going on. "Taki asked me to be his girlfriend!" Jungeun announced. Jiyoon's heart stopped beating. This reminded her of the time when Yujin and Jungeun became an item, but this one stabbing her deeper in the heart. She knew that this wasn't those puppy love relationships, it was serious.
She should've seen it coming though. Taki had been courting Jungeun for quite sometime now and it was only natural for the younger girl to finally answer him. Jiyoon does admit that he's a really good guy. Opposite to Yujin, Taki was very dedicated to studying, is a gentleman and is very patient. On top of that he has good looks too, anyone would fall for him.
Still, Jiyoon wishes that it was her instead.
Jiyoon managed to mask the pain easily. After all, she has been doing that for years now. She just hugged Jungeun and congratulated her. "Im so happy for you Jungeunie, less hassle for me now. Taki will for sure take good care of you. But don't forget me hm?" She tried to joke. "Don't be silly unnie, it's not like I'm gonna leave you, I would never! I'll make sure you see a lot of my face even if you're tired of it." Jungeun joked back, smiling brightly at her. Right, that's all that matters. Jungeun being happy. Everything would be okay as long as Jiyoon knows the younger is happy.
—
"Unnie why don't you try looking for someone else now? It's only a matter of time you start letting go of your unrequited feelings." Sujung asked Jiyoon over their dinner. "I wish it was that easy Sujung-ah." Jiyoon sighed. "Even if I do wanna start talking to other people, my heart will always choose her in the end." Sujung just patted her back. "Her relationship with Taki seems pretty serious unnie. Isn't that a sign for you to try and move on? If only you have said something to her back then, maybe it would be you in Taki's position right now." Sujung said sympathetically. Jiyoon just stayed quiet. "Please think about yourself too unnie. We want you to be happy, you cannot be drowned in these feelings forever."
And so she tried. Sujung worked hard and used all her connections to find Jiyoon a girl. Eventually she got her paired to this girl named Bang Jeemin and fortunately, they really hit it off. They both had the same personality and clicked almost instantly. Maybe this was a sign that she really should let go of her feelings for Jungeun.
Jeemin is a really beautiful girl, Jiyoon admits. She also found out that they're currently attending the same university and that made meeting up ten times easier for them. They went on occasional dates and finally made things official.
She wanted to keep their relationship low-key at first but Sujung was one step ahead of her, as always, and found out about them. "Congrats, unnie! I'm so happy for you. Jeemin is a really nice girl, she wont be a headache trust me!" She hugged Jiyoon tightly. "You have to let Jungeun know, I'm sure she'll be happier than you are."
That night, Jungeun stayed over at the older's apartment. She practically lives there now. "So, hows things with Jeemin unnie?" Jungeun questioned her. It's now or never Jiyoon thought. "We're.. dating now." She finally revealed. And true to Sujung's word, Jungeun was happy for her. But she noticed that Jungeun's smile didn't reach her eyes like how they normally do. That thought was pushed aside when Jungeun jumped her, practically straddling her and hugged her tight. "It's my turn to say this. Never forget me hm?" Jungeun mumbled against Jiyoon's neck. "Don't be silly, of course I would never."
—
It was finally Jungeun's graduation day which meant that she would soon be joining Jiyoon at her university. Without any doubt, Jiyoon would for sure be present at her ceremony. She bought her flowers and her favorite chocolates as a congratulations gift.
Jeemin tagged along with her in order to show support to Jiyoon's best friend. As soon as Jungeun spotted the both of them in the crowd, she waved excitedly and automatically broke out a smile. Jeemin saw the way Jiyoon's face bloomed when she looked at Jungeun. A look she has never received from Jiyoon before.
The ceremony finally ended and it was time for the graduates to take pictures with their families. Jiyoon was about to go to Jungeun until Taki beat her to it. She saw the way they looked at each other full of love. The way Taki looked at her like she was the only girl in the world. Jiyoon felt a familiar pang tugging at her chest. A feeling she was desperately trying to ignore for so long now. She shouldn't be feeling like this. She has Jeemin now. Jiyoon just shook her head and waited patiently for her turn.
Finally, she got her chance when Taki went over to his family. Jiyoon congratulated Jungeun and gave her the flowers and chocolates and the younger happily took it. "My Jungeunie is not a baby anymore. You're finally out of high school!" Jiyoon said patting her head. "You'll get tired of seeing my face unnie. I may not have visited you for a while because of my final exams, but I'll make sure you see more of my face, especially when I move in with you."
"You're moving in with me?!" Jiyoon asked excitedly. "Why not? It would be more easier for me since living in the dorms with people I don't know could get exhausting. Plus, you won't ever feel lonely when I'm there." The younger replied. They both just stood there smiling at each other. "So when are you moving in?"
~
Time passed by rather quickly and it was already nearing the end of Jungeun's first year of university. It had been a pretty stressful year for Jungeun since this was no longer high school. Things weren’t spoon fed to her anymore and she was pretty much on her own most of the time. This made Jungeun pretty much almost lose all of the hair she had on her head if it wasn’t for was Jiyoon.
Living with Jiyoon was probably the best decision she had made in her life. The older was there to guide her the whole way and took great care of her whenever Taki wasn’t around. But living with the older completely changed the way she saw her.
She noticed that Jiyoon would wake up extra early just to make food for her, even if she slept late the previous night. She noticed how the older would always go out of her way just to help Jungeun in whatever she needed. She noticed how Jiyoon would lose sleep just so she could help her with the projects she struggled with. All these small gestures tugged Jungeun’s heart, making her feel warm inside. It was a feeling that she had never felt before. Not even with Taki.
Jungeun was lost deep in her thoughts, confused as to why she was feeling like this. She had never seen the older girl in that light, but then all of sudden every sweet gesture had her heart hammering uncontrollably? Jungeun shook her head, reminding herself Jiyoon’s behavior was normal and that shes just looking out for her, just like always.
Apart from these feelings, whenever Jungeun saw Jiyoon with Jeemin, jealousy seemed to surface. Her mood would change whenever she saw Jiyoon smiling at the latter, whenever she announced that they would go on a date together or in general, whenever Jeemin’s name is brought up. Again, Jungeun doesn’t know why she’s feeling like this and it just confused her even more. She certainly can’t talk to Jiyoon about it, so she called who she knew would be the best. Sujung.
—
‘Here we go again.’ Sujung thought in her head. She’s glad that her friends came to her whenever they were stuck in a difficult situation, but it was getting out of control. Both of them had their own respective relationships and if they don’t own up to their real feelings, they would get hurt.
Jungeun was currently at Sujung’s house, ranting to her about the situation she was in. “Unnie, I don’t understand. All of her gestures were normal and I know its just her being her but..” Jungeun sighed. “Ever since I started living with her, I could see how much she deeply cares for me and would do everything just so I could be at ease and I can’t help but feel overwhelmed by it. I never felt this way with Yujin or Taki. Being with Jiyoon unnie is just.. easy. And whenever I’m around her every worry and stress I have evaporates.” The younger ranted. Sujung just kept quiet, being careful of what words to say and what not to say. “Jungeun, do you like Jiyoon unnie?” She asked carefully. Jungeun didn’t say anything. “I.. don’t know.” She revealed.
Sujung was speechless. Her friends are unbelievable. She wanted to laugh so hard because they both were so oblivious to each other. Sujung didn’t tell Jungeun about Jiyoon’s past feelings. Instead, she told her to figure things out before it’s too late. “Don’t get too drowned in your feelings Jungeun. You might hurt someone.” Sujung warned. She didn’t say much and let the two figure out things themselves. It’s about time they start facing their feelings. Sujung knows that Jiyoon hasn’t fully moved on from Jungeun. The looks the older gives Jungeun whenever she thinks no one is looking gives it all away. Sujung huffed, shaking her head and she prays hard no one gets hurt in the end.
~
Their whole circle was seen out eating dinner, celebrating the end of the semester. They were with their high school and university friends and it brought back many good memories. “Remember the time when Mai unnie skipped classes thinking she would get away with it?” Sarang started. “She ended having to clean everyday after school for the rest of the year!” They all bursted out into a hearty laughter. “Sarang don’t act like you didn’t get punishments worse than me. I only had to clean, you had to get seated infront of the whole class for the whole year, next to the teacher, because you wouldn’t stop laughing and clinging to Koko.” Mai savagely replied back. The group laughed even harder and Sarang just gave Mai the side eye.
The whole group was having fun and enjoying their food when Taki suddenly appeared. This shocked everyone since it was supposed to be just girls only. “Sorry, guys. Taki wanted to tag along, I hope thats okay.” Jungeun said apologetically. “Ah no, no it’s okay. Help yourself Taki.” Koko said and the boy just bowed. His presence seemed to have shaken the atmosphere, as they became a little quieter. Probably because the group, except Jungeun and Jeemin, knew about Jiyoon’s old unrequited feelings. Nevertheless, they continued enjoying the night and eventually involved the boy in their conversations.
Jungeun was just staring at Jeemin and Jiyoon who were in seated front of her, looking like they were in their own world, smiling and giggling. Taki noticed the girls off demeanor and asked her if everything was alright to which she just nodded. They were eating and Jungeun saw the way Jeemin was feeding Jiyoon. She decided she couldn’t take any more of the view and stood up slamming the table. Maybe slamming it a little bit too hard. This shocked her friends and they just looked at her surprised. “I.. I need to use the restroom. Excuse me.” Jungeun said and stormed out. Jiyoon stared at her back and was about to follow her, visibly worried, but Sujung stopped her. “Continue eating unnie, I’ll check up on her.” The older had no choice but to slouch back into her chair.
Sujung knew that Jungeun was feeling jealous at the sight that was taking place infront of her. She was silently observing the younger girl and it was evident that she was pissed seeing them being clingy to each other. That is why when Jiyoon was about to follow Jungeun, she stopped her because she knew it wasn’t gonna end well. It wasn’t the right time and place for them to reveal everything they’ve been hiding from each other, so she followed Jungeun instead.
“Jungeun-ah, are you okay?” Sujung said as she spotted her just staring at herself in the mirror. The sudden arrival of Sujung startled her but she gave out a small nod. “Your face says the opposite, Jungeun.” The girl sighed. “Unnie.. I don’t think I can handle these feelings anymore. The more I live with her and the more she does all these gestures to me, I just fall deeper and deeper. I don’t know what to do. How do I tell Taki that I don’t.. like him anymore. How do I face these feelings without hurting anyone.” Jungeun finally broke down. Sujung just pulled her into a comforting hug. “It’s time you face it Jungeun-ah. Keeping these feelings in longer will just make situations worse.” That response left her thinking deeply.
They finally returned to their table and Jiyoon noticed Jungeun’s slightly puffy eyes. She was gonna ask the girl if she was okay, but again, Taki beat her to it. Jiyoon was just looking at her worriedly, wondering why the girl cried. Jeemin stared at Jiyoon who was looking half lovingly, half worried at Jungeun. It was another look that Jeemin has never received from the girl before.
That night Jungeun returned to their shared apartment late.
—
Jiyoon was pacing back and forth around their apartment, worried where the younger girl could be at this hour. It was almost 1am and she was still not home. All her calls have gone to voicemail and the texts were unanswered. She even called their friends and asked them where Jungeun could possibly be to which they responded that she was seen leaving with Taki earlier and that they didn’t hear from Jungeun after. Obviously this information scared the crap out of Jiyoon and her mind started making unpleasant scenarios about what danger the younger could be in right now.
Just as she had enough and was about to call the police, the front door creaked open revealing Jungeun. She hurriedly went up to her and inspected the girl. This time Jungeun’s eyes were puffier than earlier and Jiyoon is now sure that something is up.
“Oh, unnie.” Jungeun said trying to sound cheerful. “Why are you still up?” “Where have you been and why weren’t you answering my calls?” She asked infuriated. For a second she didn’t hear any response. “Unnie let’s drink.” Jungeun suddenly . Jiyoon scoffed. She was worried sick about the girl and this was the response she gets? “Jungeun what has gotten into—“ “Please unnie. I’ll tell you, just please, have a drink with me.” Sighing, she had no choice but to agree. Anything Jungeun wanted, she would give. She doesn’t have to think twice.
At this point, Jungeun had probably downed almost three bottles of soju now and she still hadn’t told Jiyoon what happened. “Jungeun enough. You can’t handle too much alcohol.” Jiyoon sternly said while trying to snatch the bottle away from Jungeun. “I.. I broke up with Taki.” She heard Jungeun say quietly. Jiyoon’s heart stopped. Was she hearing things correct? She just stared at Jungeun looking aghast. “But..why? Did the guy do something to you because if he did I won’t hesitate to fucking break his skull.” Anger started building up within her. How can one fumble the Choi Jungeun? Jungeun didn’t say anything and just kept staring at Jiyoon.
“Unnie. What do you think of me?” The younger broke the silence. “Huh?” Jiyoon questioned, barely audible. “I said, what do you think of me?” She repeated. Jiyoon sighed. “I think you’re a really reliable friend who’s always there whenever needed. Any one would be grateful to have someone like you in their life. On top of that, you’re beautiful. Inside and out.” She said and whispered the last two sentences. “Do you see me only as a friend?” This question made Jiyoon’s head spin. She wasn’t drunk but she wasn’t completely sober either. Jiyoon didn’t reply to the question, just staring at Jungeun’s face instead. “Because unnie to me, you’re really special. Maybe even more than that. If I had one wish that would get granted, I would wish that you see me that way too.” Jungeun confessed sincerely.
No words were able to leave Jiyoon’s mouth, both of them just having a staring competition. Having Jungeun at this close proximity brought back old feelings. Feelings that she badly tried to get rid of. Feelings that she buried deep in her heart, never to appear again. The key was always with Jungeun and she tried her best not to let the younger girl open the safe she thought would be locked forever. But of course, Jungeun always found a way to unlock that feeling because here she was now getting lost in those damn eyes of hers.
Slowly, Jungeun started to close the gap between them, her arms around Jiyoon’s neck. “When will you finally see me?” Jungeun whispered desperately. Jiyoon was holding her breath. She wanted to back away, not wanting to take advantage of the drunk girl but her body just wouldn’t move. “Im always looking at you, Jungeun-ah.” She responded, hardly audible.
Jungeun finally pressed her lips on the older girl’s. It was slow and sweet. Jungeun’s lips felt soft against Jiyoon’s. Jiyoon could distinguish the taste of the alcohol mixed with Jungeun’s sweet taste and she can’t help but feel addicted to it. Before things escalated, Jiyoon quickly pulled away and got off the bed “Jungeun, you’re drunk. Go to sleep, I’ll leave medicine for you to drink when you wake up.” Jiyoon said, not looking at Jungeun. The younger girl didn’t say anything and just laid down in defeat.
Jiyoon felt suffocated staying in the same room as her so she slept in the living room and made sure to wake up extra early to not face the younger girl. But Jiyoon being the hopeless romantic she is, still left Jungeun medicine on her bedside table. She ended up crashing at Sujung’s place and skipped her classes that day.
—
“Sujung, I’m so fucked up.” Jiyoon buried her face in her hand, whining. “You’re fucked up indeed unnie. You ruined my sleep! I have an exam to write later!” She said clearly annoyed at Jiyoon. “Anyway, I can’t let you camp out here for long, my dorm has a strict ‘no guest policy’ and if you get caught, I’ll have to pay. Go sort things out with your un-official girlfriend and talk to Jeemin unnie.” Sujung said seriously. She didn’t force Jiyoon to tell her what happened between them and just let them figure things out on their own pace.
After lots of contemplation, she decided she needed to do things right and invited Jeemin to eat out for lunch.
“Jiyoonie~ I missed you. You didn’t attend classes today, are you sick?” Jeemin asked worriedly. Jiyoon shook her head. “Jeemin. We need to talk.” “I get it. It’s okay.” Jeemin smiled at her. Huh? She didn’t even say anything yet? Before she could let out a word, the girl continued. “I know you have feelings for Jungeun, it’s obvious. I see the way you stare at her like shes the only girl in the world. The way your expression changes when you see her with Taki. The way your eyes shine brightly whenever it lands on her. Anyone would be able to tell that you’re in love with her.”
“Im sorry, Jeemin-ah.” Jiyoon said apologetically. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll be okay.” She gave out a sincere smile. “Just don’t hide your feelings for too long anymore okay? You might miss your chances again.”
—
“Sujung unnie. I messed up so bad.” Jungeun said crying on the phone. She woke up with a bad migraine and saw the medicine on her bedside table, suddenly remembering what had happened the night before. Again, she went to the person who she knew would give her good advice. “What happened this time?” Sujung said exasperated. Her friends are giving her a major headache now. Her patience is running thin and she was close to exposing both of them to each other.
“I broke up with Taki last night. I came home and asked Jiyoon unnie if she wanted to drink with me. Everything after that was a blur, but I clearly remember confessing and.. and kissing her.” Sujung gasped at the revelation. ‘So thats why Jiyoon unnie crashed at my place that early’ she thought. “You both are fucked up.” Sujung whispered. “Jungeun-ah, how far is this going to go? You both are gonna end up hurting each other in the end. Consider actually confessing sober and don’t play with Jiyoon unnie’s feelings.” She scolded. “Im not playing with her feelings! I wanna tell her that I like her but I’m scared of ruining our friendship.” Jungeun sniffled. “The only way your friendship will get ruined is if you both don’t be honest with each other.”
~
It had been a few weeks since the incident took place and Jiyoon had been ignoring Jungeun completely. She made a routine to go home whenever she was sure that Jungeun was already sound asleep and woke up before the younger did. This went on successfully until Jungeun had caught on what she was doing.
She stayed up late one night and waited for Jiyoon to come home. It was around 2am when she finally heard the door to their bedroom open. Jungeun was just listening closely to her movements, thinking on how to open up the topic. When she saw Jiyoon’s silhouette slowly lying down on the bed opposite to her, she decided it was finally time to talk about whatever happened that night.
“Jiyoon unnie. Can we talk?” The older flinched, not expecting Jungeun to be awake this late. Jiyoon turned to look at her, waiting for her to continue. “Unnie.. about what happened that night. I-“ “It’s okay, Jungeun. You were drunk. Things like that happen, don’t worry about it.” Jiyoon cut her off and turned her back to Jungeun.
Jungeun was stunned at the response. She didn’t even get to tell her what she originally wanted to say. Trying her best to stay composed, Jungeun stayed quiet, not pushing the conversation even further, it was evident that the older girl did not share the same feelings and that crushed Jungeun.
Jiyoon ignored the quiet sobs she heard coming from across her bed that night.
______
And so here she was at the bar with Sujung. That was the last conversation her and Jungeun had and they were back to giving each other the silent treatment. Jiyoon only found out through Sujung that Anton had asked Jungeun out for dinner. She just sneered at the information and dragged Sujung along to get wasted.
After having at least 5 shots of the strongest alcohol, Jiyoon went to the dance floor and mingled with the other people. She badly wanted to forget about the younger girl so she went all out, not caring where this carelessness of hers could lead her. Jiyoon was just minding her own business, having the time of her life when a beautiful girl with wispy bangs made her way to her. The girl started grinding on Jiyoon and pulled her into a kiss.
“What’s your name?” Jiyoon pulled out of the kiss to ask, eyes half lidded. “Fuko.” The girl seductively looked at her. “Say Fuko. Wanna head back to my place?” The girl didn’t think twice and pulled Jiyoon out of the bar.
—
They were now in Jiyoon’s apartment, having a heated make out session on the living room couch. Everything escalated from there with Fuko being on Jiyoon’s lap, taking off her top and trailing wet kisses down her neck. She thinks Fuko might’ve even left a mark on her. They continued kissing but Jiyoon’s mind kept screaming Jungeun Jungeun Jungeun. She tried her best to push the younger girl out of her thoughts but nothing was working. When Fuko reached down to finally take off her pants, that’s when Jiyoon realized what she was doing and pushed her off.
“Im sorry but you have to leave now.” Fuko just scoffed and gathered her things, storming out of the apartment. Jiyoon massaged her temples, a headache kicking in. She started crying because of how pathetic she felt. Is it only gonna be like this? Was she gonna be trapped in Jungeun’s hold forever? Jiyoon fell asleep, not even caring to put a shirt back on.
—
She woke up to something damp pressing on her skin. Eyes fluttering open, she saw Jungeun wiping her body, eyebrows furrowed clearly concentrated. “Jungeun.” Jiyoon called out to her. The younger was startled and they made brief eye contact, but Jungeun quickly looked down, focusing on what she was doing instead. Once she was done, she sat Jiyoon up putting a shirt on her, eyes lingering on the hickey beside their matching necklace. Jiyoon felt embarrassed and tried hiding her neck. As soon as Jungeun put the shirt on Jiyoon, she immediately backed away, picking up Jiyoon’s dirty shirt that was on the floor. Before Jungeun could go any further, Jiyoon tried to stop her and held her wrist but Jungeun pulled her wrist back harshly and proceeded to walk away.
Losing patience, Jiyoon stood up following her, feeling like multiple bricks were stacked on top of her head and pulled Jungeun to face her. “Jungeun, cmon, why do you have to make this so hard for me?” She asked, almost shouting. The effect of the alcohol plus the situation she was in made her patience run thin. Jungeun scoffed and finally looked her in the eye. “I make things hard for you?” She spat out. “You’re the one who has been ignoring me!” She punched Jiyoon’s chest. “You’re the one who slept with someone on our couch!” Another punch. “You’re the one who does all of these sweet gestures not knowing the impact it has on me!” Another punch. At this point Jungeun was already crying, the hidden feelings that were being let out overwhelmed her. She doesn’t even care if she had woken up her whole building with her screams. “You’re the one who.. who made me fall for you.” She ended, throwing a weak punch at Jiyoon.
Jiyoon was shocked at the confession but felt relief flood into her body when the younger let out all of her feelings. Instead of replying, she grabbed Jungeun’s face and kissed her. This kiss was different from that night they first kissed. Jiyoon poured out every unsaid emotion into the kiss and Jungeun pulled her impossibly closer, the desperation evident. They pulled out to catch their breaths, Jiyoon placing her forehead on Jungeun. “Jungeun-ah. You’re very dearly to me hm? You’re the only one I want to protect and spend the rest of my life with. I didn’t say anything to you because I didn’t wanna risk our friendship. To me, it would be better if I had you close to me as a friend than not have you at all. I tried forgetting you really. I dated Jeemin thinking that everything I had for you would disappear but it didn’t. In the end my heart would always want you and only you.” Jiyoon finally confessed.
Jungeun felt heat rushing up to her cheeks after listening to Jiyoon. It was her that was dense the whole time. She felt bad imagining how much it hurt Jiyoon when she went out with her dates. That all didn’t matter now though. What matters now is that both of them finally had the courage to tell each other their true feelings and they had all the time in the world for themselves.
“Just so you know, I turned Anton down. And the reason why I broke up with Taki, was because I already had feelings for you. That night, I didn’t kiss you just because I was drunk, but because I wanted to. When you ignored me after that, I thought that I had already ruined our friendship and that scared me. The night that I waited for you to come home, I was finally gonna confess how I truly felt for you, but when you assumed that it was because I was drunk, it hurt me a lot so I didn’t bother pushing it, thinking our friendship was really over.” Jungeun said in tears.
“I’m sorry Jungeunie.” Jiyoon said, slightly pouting and wiped her tears away. “I’m sorry for taking this long to tell you how I really feel. But I promise, moving forward, I’ll show you that it’s worth the wait.” Jiyoon pulled back kissing her forehead. “I love you Jungeun. Be my girlfriend?” “I love you more. Yes I’ll be your girlfriend.” Jungeun said smiling brightly at her.
Jiyoon’s phone suddenly started ringing, startling both of them. She saw the called id and saw that it was Sujung. Jiyoon panicked. Right. She went with Sujung to the bar. Preparing for whats about to come, she picked up the call and brought her phone slowly to her ears. “Unnie, where the hell did you go?!” Sujung shouted angrily. Jiyoon winced in pain, pulling the phone away from her right ear and held it. Jungeun just laughed as she heard Sujung’s loud voice. “Don’t worry Sujung unnie, she came back home to me!” Jungeun revealed. Sujung softened up at information. “Finally, the two of you confessed! I’m so sick and tired of being the bridge between you both!” The new couple just laughed at the response. “Don’t worry Sujung-ah. We’ll help you out with Yuju now.”
Fin~