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A flash of orange hair, and a smile that shone like the sun.
It was all it took to make Kenma’s heart thud in his chest—not from the same anxiousness he experienced when people insisted he pin his bangs back, or the panic of being trapped in public with a dead Nintendo DS. It was fear, yes, but a fear that was wound up tightly along with a warm, fuzzy feeling that tingled in his fingertips and in the pit of his stomach.
He didn’t want to admit to feeling that way, and damn his best friend for being so perceptive. Kuroo would always shoot him a sly look when phrases like ‘where’s Shouyou?’ would spill past Kenma’s lips before he even noticed he was speaking.
You get the look on your face, Kenma, just like when you’re playing a new game.
Kenma shivered.
No, I don’t.
.
He sank further into his hoodie, his hair falling in front of his face. How embarrassing, to keep on denying something so obvious; how embarrassing to be so obvious about it in the first place.
How embarrassing to even feel like this.
He’d never be right for Shouyou, anyway. The other was so high-energy, so dynamic and changing, like a chaotic storm cloud, thrumming with enough electricity to set his teammates and opponents alight. Kenma believed himself to be more like a gentle sprinkling of rain on cloudy day—static, uninteresting, and not even enough to make people draw out their umbrellas.
He already knew he wouldn’t be able to properly set for Shouyou, and thus he wasn’t masochistic enough to entertain the thought of being with Shouyou.
There were a dozen better matches sitting in the same gym as him—Tobio, the genius setter. He’d heard Shouyou gush over him often, had seen the two with their killer quick. There was no doubting their synchronization; even when they fought, Kenma could see the passion in their eyes, the way they got in each other’s faces. He couldn’t possibly affect Shouyou that way.
There was Lev, whose height and exotic appearance had dazzled Shouyou at first, and whose outstretched, taunting hand had lit a challenging fire between them. Yet, they were friendly, spitting watermelon seeds at one another and laughing as they rolled around in the grass.
There was Bokuto, and while he doubted there was anything romantic about that—especially considering how taken the Fukurodani captain obviously was with his setter—it still miffed him to see Shouyou worship the airhead like some sort of volleyball god. Though, Bokuto was an amazing player…
Still an airhead.
At last, there was the new blonde manager—Hitoka? Kenma didn’t remember exactly, only knew that she was pretty and creative and had gotten to know Shouyou quite well, considering how briefly they had known each other. Shouyou had told Kenma all about how she was going to help him pass his exams, so that he could come to Tokyo. A cute girlfriend who helped him with his homework and managed his sport’s club—Kenma couldn’t compete with that.
He wasn’t jealous of them, really—never for more than a fleeting moment, because he wanted Shouyou to be happy.
And any of them could make him happier than I could, Kenma thought, sighing out and turning to walk out the door as if to say ‘oh well, that’s just how things are.’
Kenma had no issue accepting this as reality and filing his troublesome crush in the back of his mind. He’d tuck it away, along with everything else he would forget as soon as he pushed another game cartridge into his DS, and engulfed himself into an entirely less complicated world that demanded so much less from him.
What Kenma did have trouble accepting as reality was the way Shouyou had come bouncing up to him after their Fukurodani practice match, rubbing the back of his head.
“Geez, I’m so bummed today is the last day!” The boy complained, sighing theatrically as the pair pushed out of the gym doors.
“Yeah, it kind of sucks. You guys were just getting your act together, too.” Kenma agreed, also feeling disappointed, but not for the reason he had said.
They walked over to the grassy hill, Shouyou falling back into the plush green blanket, spreading his arms out and soaking up the light of the dying sun. Kenma settled beside him, crossing his legs and staring at the small beetle currently battling a blade of grass a few inches away.
“We’re gonna keep getting good though, so don’t worry.” Shouyou came, clenching his fist around a bunch of grass, and tugging it from the earth. He sprinkled it back over the ground like confetti, a smile spread across his features.
“I believe you.” Kenma said warmly, stealing a glance at the other, and hiding a smile of his own.
There was a long silence between them, but it wasn’t awkward—not in the least.
“Hey, Kenma.” Shouyou sat up sharply, one hand moving out to tug at the sleeve of the other boy’s hoodie. Kenma turned, resisting the urge to reel back from how close the other boy was, and how intently he was staring at him.
Kenma instead arched a brow, signaling that he was paying attention.
Sucking in a breath, Shouyou cocked his head to the side, one hand scratching at his cheek.
“It really sucks that today is the last day, but not just because we were finally getting good—”
Kenma was perceptive enough to see where this was heading, yet his own disbelief kept him stunned and rooted to the spot.
“—I really don’t want to leave Tokyo because I really like hanging out with you.” Shouyou finished, redness creeping into his features. Kenma blinked at the other boy for a long while. He was about to force out some sort of response, but suddenly Shouyou grunted in frustration, slapping a hand to his forehead.
“Sorry, there’s a better way of saying this,” He began, eyes nervously dashing about as he fisted his hands in his lap.
“I really like you, Kenma. Hanging out and talking with you, too, but most of all I like you and I like seeing you, and I don’t want to go yet. But, I have to go, and I was wondering if, before I do—”
Shouyou sucked in hard through his nose.
“Willyoudateme?” The words came out as a single exhale.
Kenma felt like a fish out of water, gaping awkwardly in the open air as his brain tried to function properly.
All of his thoughts of crushes and forgetting said crushes were slingshotted to the front of his mind, and his palms had started to sweat. By the looks of it, the other boy was beginning to panic too, reeling back and shaking his head furiously.
“Y-you don’t have to say anything! Just maybe nod or shake your head or something—“ He looked desperate now, and also like he wanted to melt into the ground.
Kenma, without hesitation, slowly nodded his head.
Shouyou’s eyes lit up like the sun.
“Ah! Can I kiss you, then?” He gaped, his face flushing.
Kenma nodded again, this time faster, and in the next moment he could feel Shouyou’s lips pressing tentatively against his own.
A moment later and Kenma was kissing him back.
Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to try.
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