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Daniel hadn’t seen Armand in 3 days. Daniel was no longer running from Armand. He had grown accustomed to the vampire’s presence. More so, he began to welcome it and even enjoy it, as reluctant as he was to admit this. He and Armand would talk, and conversations would turn to sparring matches back and forth where Daniel’s piercing wit met Armand’s ancient intellect. Things got heated, more so on Daniel’s part; it was hard to rile up Armand, which only furthered Daniel’s frustration. It wasn’t really anger anymore though. There was a pull underneath it, a desire to keep these encounters going, rather than escape them. Daniel tried to ignore this feeling, but the truth was, he didn’t want Armand to leave.
He’d let Armand follow him into his apartment now for some time. He wasn’t afraid, no, it had been a while now since Daniel felt any fear of Armand. The last that Daniel had seen Armand, it had been a Thursday night. They had talked and argued and talked long into the night, but eventually, Daniel reminded Armand that he was a human and needed to sleep at night. Armand didn’t leave, and Daniel did not ask him to. Daniel simply walked into his bedroom and closed the door. He tried not to think about what the vampire was doing or why he hadn’t asked him to leave. But when he woke, there was no sign of Armand.
By the end of Saturday, Daniel was starting to feel uneasy. Where was he? It was ridiculous that Daniel was feeling this way. What did he care? But he did. It bothered him to no end that at the very back of his mind, the fear crept in that perhaps Armand had moved on, now that the “chase” was over. Daniel had gone out to a bar, seeking distraction. He had a few drinks and scored what he could, opting to bring the drugs home with him rather than indulge at the bar. As he got high, he tried to convince himself he was not avoiding the sinking feeling in his gut that he wouldn’t see Armand again. After a while, Daniel passed out in bed, feeling numb enough that he wasn’t so painfully aware of his creeping anxiety.
Meanwhile that evening, Armand was on the prowl. Not necessarily on the hunt; he had drained two people in the last few days, and that was more than enough to satiate him for some time. But Armand enjoyed walking the streets at night, observing others from a distance, taking in bits and pieces of humanity like trinkets he could collect. He was mesmerized by the change in fashion and technology over the years. These were his favorite things to observe. Armand had been standing by a phone booth, just listening to the various conversations, when he was caught with immense surprise. A middle aged man in the booth placed a call and began speaking in French. He asked the person on the other line how much longer they would be in Paris. Armand could not believe his ears.
As the man hung up the call and turned to exit the booth, Armand pushed him back in.
“You were on the phone with Paris?”
The man was terrified of course. He stammered. “What… what do you want?! Please, let me go.”
“I asked you a question, that is all. That person with whom you spoke, they are in Paris, France?”
“Y-yes! Why does it matter?”
“Hm. Is this a special sort of phone?”
“What? What do you mean??”
“You dialed Paris.”
“Yes, an international call! Please, let me go!”
Armand stared at the man, whom he had pinned with the force of just one hand. He furrowed his brows, tilting his head in confusion. He could enter this man’s thoughts to get the information, but somehow, that did not seem sufficient. Armand wanted to see it in action, how a phone in New Orleans could dial Paris, and he did not want some terrified human to show him under duress. He swiftly turned away and left the booth.
Daniel was sound asleep, having mostly come down from his high in the midst of his slumber. The next thing he knew, his peaceful sleep was abruptly disturbed by the shine of a bright light and a feeling of pressure atop him.
“Wha-“
He couldn’t even get the words out.
“That phone there. I want you to dial Paris.”
Armand was on top of him. As Daniel’s eyes slowly adjusted to the harsh light, Armand’s face came into focus, just inches away from his. Armand was perched on Daniel’s lap, straddling him in his bed, his hands resting on Daniel’s chest. Daniel slowly sat up.
“I want to see if it can really talk to Paris,” Armand said.
Now that Daniel was finally awake enough to register what was going on, he was furious.
“Goddamn it, do it yourself! You’re 500 years old and you can’t use a telephone? Read the directions. What are you, an immortal idiot? I will do no such thing.”
Daniel slumped back down onto his pillow, pulling half of it over his face to shield from the light. He felt Armand shift slightly on his lap, turning toward the nightstand. Armand picked up the phone and gently placed it on Daniel’s torso. Daniel looked up at him, annoyed. In return, he saw Armand looking down at him sweetly, innocently, his orange eyes wide and still. Daniel sighed. He gave in immediately and started to sit up again.
“All right, I’ll call Paris for you, but you pay the bill.”
“But of course.”
Armand reached into his jacket pockets and pulled out handfuls of cash, lifting his hands above their heads and sprinkling the bills onto Daniel. They were all hundreds. Daniel glared at Armand. God, he was annoying, but endearing. Did he really not know how to make an international call? Did he really think it cost hundreds of dollars? Did he really need Daniel to teach him how to do this?
“Can you get off me already, so I can make the call?”
Armand shifted off Daniel without a word, sitting himself next to Daniel at the top of the bed. Daniel found himself saddened to no longer have the press of Armand against his lap. They hadn’t ever been that close before. He closed his eyes in frustration over this thought and the whole situation.
“Ok, who do you want to call?”
Armand turned his head to look at him blankly.
Daniel continued, “We can’t just call the city of Paris, you know? Tell me who you want to call.”
Armand gave a name and location of some cafe. Daniel made the call, and it went through. He handed the receiver to Armand. He spoke to the person on the other end, who was clearly annoyed and confused, for about a minute in French, until they hung up. Armand remained with the phone in his hand, a smile and look of amazement plastered on his face. He suddenly turned his head to face Daniel, still smiling. Daniel hadn’t seen this look before. It was so genuine, so honest, it pained his heart.
“Thank you, Daniel.”
“Yeah, ok, sure. I’m going to back to bed now.”
Daniel turned toward his nightstand, placed the phone back where it belonged, and shut off the lamp. He laid back down in bed, turned away from Armand. Armand remained seated where he was, back against the headboard.
“Shall I go?” Armand asked in the dark.
Daniel half-grumbled what he said next, as he could hardly believe the words himself.
“You can stay.”
Armand did not move. Daniel did not move. He spoke again.
“Look, I don’t care if you sleep or not, but could you get into bed already? You can’t just perch there all night. It’s creeping me out.”
He turned back toward Armand to see what he would do. Armand looked down at Daniel. He moved his legs and lifted up the covers, preparing to get in.
Daniel spoke again. “You’re gonna sleep in all your clothes?” He realized how this sounded, but honestly, it was weird. Armand was fully dressed in jeans, a belt, a button down shirt, and windbreaker.
“What should I sleep in, Daniel?”
“Oh Jesus, Armand. I don’t know. I’m exhausted. Wear whatever you want to or don’t want to. Goodnight.”
He turned back over. He tried so hard to still his thoughts and his heartbeat, but it didn’t work very well. He could feel Armand get up and hear him start to remove his clothes. His jacket slipped off, his shirt unbuttoned and removed, his belt undone and jeans pulled down. And then he got back into bed, carefully and quietly, until he was laid down next to Daniel. They weren’t touching nor facing each other. But Daniel felt the tension suffocating him. He wondered what Armand looked like without clothes on, what his skin felt like. He had to remind himself that Armand was probably reading all these thoughts, but he couldn’t stop himself. These thoughts plagued his mind until eventually, he must have fallen asleep. When he awoke in the morning, unsure what time it was, Armand was gone. There was no denying it, but finding the vampire gone from his bed hurt Daniel in a way he did not expect.
To Daniel’s surprise, Armand was back at his apartment later that day. Daniel came home in the late afternoon, having done some interviews around the city. When he opened his door, he startled to see Armand laid out on his stomach on the floor, several boxes around him in a semicircle. They were phones. Armand was intently taking one apart, pieces laying around him here and there. He stopped to look up at Daniel.
“You’re home.”
Daniel was staring down at Armand with a furrowed brow.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“I purchased some telephones.”
“I… see that,” he shook his head. No use continuing. “I have some interviews to type up, ok? So just don’t be too loud with… whatever you’re doing.”
Armand gave one brief nod and returned his attention to the telephone parts. Daniel walked away and found that he could not stop smiling.
That night, when Daniel finally hit a wall from transcribing his interviews, he readied himself for sleep and climbed in bed. Not five minutes later, he heard Armand walk in. They hadn’t really spoken that evening, both occupied with their respective activities. But presumably, Armand heard Daniel get into bed and decided to follow suit. Daniel was laying on his side, away from the door. He didn’t move but again listened as Armand undressed and climbed in bed next to him. Again, space remained between them, as they both lay still. Was this to be their routine now, Armand following him to bed? They were just going to sleep together like this, and what? Daniel didn’t say anything. He figured perhaps eventually, Armand would do something to disturb his rest and find new ways to wreak havoc on Daniel, but he didn’t. They repeated this routine for several nights, laying in bed together without a word, Armand up and gone by the morning. And Daniel realized that the very fact that Armand wasn’t doing anything more was wreaking havoc on him.
By the fifth night, Daniel could not take it any longer, the strangeness and uncertainty of the situation pushing him to a breaking point. He could not sleep, wracking his brain over what Armand’s end goal could possibly be, what his motivation was. He turned toward the vampire in the dark, furious.
“Are you trying to drive me crazy?!”
“What do you mean, Daniel?”
“What are you trying to do, sleeping here like this every night? Is this some new game?”
Daniel sat up in bed, and Armand did the same. He replied calmly.
“I’m simply sleeping in your bed. You asked me to stay.”
“That was one night! And- are you wearing my shirt?” Daniel’s eyes, having adjusted to the dark, noticed that Armand was dressed on his top half in the t-shirt Daniel had been wearing earlier.
Armand didn’t blink.
“You told me to wear whatever I wanted to.”
“Take it off!”
“As you wish.” Armand lifted the shirt off his head, gently folded it, and placed it on the desk chair next to the bed.
The sight of Armand topless hit Daniel like a freight train. He was devastated by the beauty of the vampire, sitting here in his bed. Armand appeared in clothes to have a slight frame, but underneath, he was taut as an ancient sculpture. Perfectly built. Smooth as marble. Daniel had completely lost his train of thought now. His anger was lost to something even less controllable. He tried to regain composure, collect his thoughts. There was no use, as Armand continued to gaze at him with those big doe eyes, sweet and terrifying at the same time, an undeniably alluring combination. Daniel leaned forward, grabbing Armand by the back of the head, and kissed him hard. Daniel briefly considered that he might die tonight. This was not enough to stop him. To his utmost surprise, Armand kissed back. With this, Daniel could no longer hold back. All the feelings that had built up over the last four years, fear turned to anger turned to resentment, somehow turned to curiosity, to intrigue, to attraction, and now, here in the quiet dark of his bedroom, desire. That could not be denied. It had been brewing from the very start.
The two kissed passionately, drawing in closer to each other. Daniel felt a burning heat in the pit of his stomach. He had both hands buried in Armand's beautiful black curls, and Armand had placed his hand upon Daniel's cheek. Daniel felt lost to the moment, lost to the desire he was finally unleashing, until suddenly he found himself thinking. Thinking about exactly what he was doing. Kissing Armand. Kissing Armand in his bed. Kissing this undead creature who had stalked and tormented him for the last four years. He suddenly drew back.
"What is it, Daniel?" Armand asked imploringly.
"I... I don't know what I'm doing."
"We were kissing. You kissed me, in fact."
"Yeah, I realize that. I just..." He couldn't put into words exactly how he felt. He continued, "I don't know. I'm gonna go sleep on the couch."
Daniel looked up at Armand. They caught eyes for a moment, until Armand turned his gaze down, bowing his head. Daniel could hardly believe it, but there was a barely perceptible feeling of hurt, of rejection, showing on Armand's face.
Armand spoke quietly. "Don't be ridiculous, Daniel. This is your bed. I will leave."
And with that, he stood up without another word. Daniel watched as Armand dressed in the dark and turned out the door of the bedroom. Daniel heard Armand open and close the door of his apartment. He was gone.
Daniel could barely sleep that night. He went about the next day in a haze. He felt painfully confused about the whole ordeal. Why had he kissed Armand? Daniel realized this was an idiotic question. He knew the answer quite well; he just did not want to admit it. He was attracted to Armand. But more than that, he had feelings for him. Complicated, overwhelming feelings. Daniel wasn't a "feelings" guy in the first place, let alone trying to navigate them in this unbelievably fucked up relationship he had with Armand. But that was just the thing- they did have a relationship, perhaps a relationship unlike anyone else in the history of the world had had, but a relationship nonetheless. Daniel knew it was evolving. Ok, so why had he stopped himself, why had he pushed Armand away? Another easy answer, but again not easy to admit. Fear. Not fear of Armand, which had long since passed. It was a more mundane fear. A fear of being vulnerable, of admitting how he felt, of allowing himself to truly get close to another. It was much easier for him to delve into the lives and complications of strangers and then walk away at the end of it than to face the ordeal of having a true, meaningful connection with another. But that's what he had with Armand, wasn't it?
Daniel tried to move past it. He went about his life for the next few days, which then turned into a week, which then turned into two. He had stupidly assumed that Armand would just show up again. What if he never did? One afternoon, Daniel was cleaning his apartment, trying to distract himself. He went to his hallway closet to get some sheets, when he noticed something foreign at the bottom on the floor. He knelt down to get a better look, craning his head into the space to figure out what it was. Phones. It was the boxes of phones Armand had bought that one day. Daniel felt his eyes well up. He got up quickly and grabbed his keys, heading out of the apartment.
Daniel knew where Armand lived, or at least one of the places he stayed. He walked himself over to the apartment building and marched up the stairs, arriving at the door. He knocked politely at first, but after a few minutes of waiting, he began pounding loudly until a neighbor opened their door and told him to stop. He walked home defeated.
Daniel began dreaming of Armand, nearly every night. Just dreaming that they were together. He would be so upset from these dreams that he awoke as if they were nightmares, finding himself crying. Finally, he could not take it any longer. Daniel woke up from one of these dreams and decided to stay awake. He sat in bed until 5am, feeling awful and worn out, until he got up and left his apartment. He walked through the city in the lingering dark, as the sun drew closer to rising. He went again to Armand's apartment, reasoning that he might have better luck finding him at home at this time of day. When Daniel got to the door, nerves got the best of him. He stood staring at it, his fist hovering before the door. Then, it opened up, and there stood Armand, beautiful as ever. They simply stared at each other for a moment. Daniel felt himself start to tremble slightly. He couldn't believe how relieved he felt at just the sight of Armand, just to be standing here in front of him. He wanted to reach out and embrace Armand, but he didn't dare.
Armand spoke quietly, "Would you like to come in?"
Daniel walked in without a word. He stood nervously, staring at the floor and tapping his foot, as Armand walked past him. He sat on his sofa. Daniel never could get over how perfectly still Armand could sit and for how long. Daniel figured that he could have remained standing there for days, and Armand might not move or speak. No, Armand was not going to make this easy. Daniel finally sat down next to Armand, breaking the stalemate. He forced himself to turn and look at Armand. The funny thing was, after all of this turmoil Daniel had been through over the last few weeks, he hadn't settled on what he would do or say once he finally did see Armand. His mind was going a thousand miles a minute, so fast and jumbled up that even Armand probably could not decipher it. He forced himself to turn toward Armand. He studied the vampire's face, not necessarily trying to decipher how Armand was feeling, which was near impossible. Instead he simply admired all the tiny details that came together to make Armand so beautiful- his dark eyelashes, his warm, amber eyes, his chiseled cheeks, his small mouth and the tiny lines upon his lips. This helped to quiet Daniel's mind finally, and he felt lost in a trance of the delicate features before him. Armand heard these thoughts of course and was warmed by them. Fearful as he was to make the first move, for Armand feared vulnerability tenfold more than Daniel, he was compelled enough to lean forward ever so slowly and plant a small, soft kiss upon Daniel's lips. At this, Daniel broke. He leaned forward, resting his head upon Armand's shoulder, and cried a few silent tears.
"I'm sorry. I don't want to be apart from you any longer," he said unfortunately with a hint of desperation.
Armand was surprised at the words uttered by Daniel. He had long known how the boy was starting to feel but also knew how he wrestled with it. Conversely, Armand was well beyond wanting to hurt or torment Daniel. He cared for him. He wanted to be with him too. Nothing more frightened Armand than this, but at least with a mortal, he could maintain the upper hand. He had been testing the waters, seeing if they could become closer, and if Daniel might finally allow himself to act upon his feelings. The first kiss a few weeks ago left Armand elated, but it was short-lived, as the subsequent rejection stung more than Armand cared to admit. Now, hearing Daniel's words, Armand felt hopeful again. It was one thing to think, but another to act.
Armand took Daniel's face in his hands and lifted it up. He stroked Daniel's cheek.
"Then let us not be apart."
Daniel gave a small smile. "Can I stay with you tonight? Or, today, I guess. I haven't been sleeping well."
"That I can see. Yes, let's go to bed."
Armand led Daniel to the bedroom. He began to change out of his clothes, as Daniel did the same. Daniel came up to Armand with something in his hand. His t-shirt.
"You can wear it to sleep, if you want."
Armand smiled. He had pajamas of course, very fine ones, but this gesture was much more valuable. He took Daniel's shirt silently and put it on.
Daniel climbed into the bed, laying on his side, and Armand joined him. They faced each other.
“Do you like being the big spoon or little spoon?” Daniel asked. He didn't want to sleep with any distance between them now.
Armand looked confused. “Spoons? What spoons?”
Daniel giggled. “It means like, do you want to be the one who holds from behind or the one who’s held? You know, like how spoons sort of fit together on their sides.”
Armand considered this. “Hm. Such an odd expression. So the one who is held is big or little?”
“Little. That’s little spoon.”
“I’d like to be that.”
Daniel smiled. He leaned in and kissed the vampire. He felt a great weight lifted from him to kiss Armand freely now.
“Ok then, little spoon it is. You gotta turn to the other side to get into position.”
Armand followed the instructions and turned his back to Daniel. Daniel inched up against Armand, placing his arm over Armand’s waist and kissing the back of his neck.
Armand smiled to himself, pleasantly surprised at the affection he was now receiving.
“I like being spoons,” he said.
“And I like you,” Daniel replied, nuzzling his face into Armand’s dark curls.
Armand considered this simple statement, and yet how much it meant to him. When had another ever said this to him? It had been years since anyone courted him. He thought of decades past, of previous lovers, of how their words of affection often felt quite empty when offered to Armand. But now, with this mortal boy, he could feel the truth and the weight in what Daniel had said. It sunk into Armand’s heart like an arrow.
So they slept together, and slept well, both finally coming to terms with what their relationship had become.
Daniel was thrilled when he awoke and found that Armand was still there. They spent the next day together, simply enjoying each other's presence. Armand suggested that they travel together to Europe, and Daniel agreed. Armand had stalked Daniel all over the continent, but now, they would go as a couple.
When the day finally ended, Armand climbed into bed as Daniel changed. Before he even got under the covers, Armand looked at him with those big puppy eyes.
"Daniel, can we be spoons?"