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“Chongyun, quick! There’s been a massive outburst of evil spirits on Wuwang Hill!” Hu Tao huffed, doubled over to catch her breath as she stood in the doorway of Chongyun’s home. He had been meditating and heard running, but had expected it would be Xingqiu coming to play another mean trick on him or lure him out with false promises of spirits to exorcise. Speaking of…
“Greetings, Hu Tao. Do you know anything about the nature of the spirits? I’m surprised you would seek my help in such a matter,” he frowned, regarding the girl in front of him. Hu Tao was the Director of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor and had such an intimate connection to spirits that it was actually shocking to him that she’d even ask.
Hu Tao straightened, her cheeks pink from the running, her usually mischievous and cheerful face creased in worry. “There’s no time, Chongyun, we have to go now! Xingqiu is fighting them but he’s going to be overtaken. It’s like an apocalypse.”
Xingqiu was in danger? Well, that changed everything. Chongyun was on his feet and running down the street, hurtling between folks perusing the markets of Liyue Harbor and apologizing as he ran. Hu Tao trailed close behind, flitting between the crowds like a kaleidoscope of butterflies. Together they burst out of the city and ran full tilt to Wuwang Hill, the only sound their feet beating the grassy path and their heaving breaths.
When the fog began to settle and the trees blotted out the light Chongyun knew they were in the right area, but he still couldn’t see or hear Xingqiu. The other boy was a lithe and fluid fighter, sure, but not silent, and certainly not invisible. Chongyun strained his ears to hear any sound and realized he couldn’t hear Hu Tao anymore either. He spun to where she should have been, but she had vanished, leaving only him and his claymore in the mist.
The eerie ambiance of Wuwang Hill had never scared Chongyun, because he knew his pure yang spirit would protect him, but how could he protect his friends if he couldn’t find them? His heart rate began to climb as he ambled through the woods, calling out, “Xingqiu! Hu Tao! Where are you?”
A twig snapped behind him and he spun to see two figures ambling slowly through the fog, just far enough that all he could make out were their silhouettes. “There you two are! This is no time for pranks! There are evil spirits here, I can feel their energy, and they do not seem like the kind to flee from a trio of young adults.”
The bodies advanced, their steady pace picking up slightly. Another joined them, then another, and soon Chongyun found he was surrounded on all sides by shapes closing in on him. A creaking groan shuddered through the air, then another, and it was a cacophony of terrifying wails and moans. Chongyun spun, weapon raised, unsure of where to strike first. He had never actually seen an evil spirit, they were always repelled by his constitution, so he was ill-prepared to fight a whole horde of them. He wished Xingqiu were here, he thought to himself. Xingqiu was a hero and would know what to do, leading them into battle with bravery and honor and all those chivalric values he rambled on about. Hu Tao would have boosted their spirits with a silly poem about the monstrosities so they didn’t seem so scary after all, clucking, “aiya, Yun, there’s nothing to be scared of, they’re already dead!”
As the shapes threatened to break through the fog, Chongyun’s last thought was that he hoped his friends would make it out safely.
The bodies broke through and Chongyun, much to his embarrassment, screamed a very high-pitched battle cry and raised his claymore to slam an icy field into the ground, stopping at the last second as he realized he recognized these zombie spirits. A blue haired spirit wearing fine silk shorts, pale thighs glowing in the diffuse light. A spirit wearing a top hat, making a “oo-ooo-oo” ghost sound, and a spirit about knee height that was actually Guoba the stove god.
“Were you scared, Chongyun?” Xingqiu sang, skipping over to throw an arm around Chongyun’s shoulders. Xiangling giggled, scooping Guoba up and shedding her spirit disguise. Hu Tao kept her spirit garb, opting to continue to hover menacingly in the background.
Now that his friends were here, he realized that the fog wasn’t real and had begun to clear as soon as the “spirits” came into view, meaning that Xingqiu and the Pyro girls had teamed up to make their own mist for the effect. The other shambling bodies turned out to be barrels or tree stumps that weren’t actually moving, but had seemed frightfully animated in the low light.
Chongyun was not happy, and he produced an icy popsicle to cool his rising energies and prevent a meltdown. He couldn’t believe he had been foolish enough to fall for another one of these ridiculous tricks, and that he had been so scared and worried for his friends who were the ones pulling the prank on him. His eyes brimmed with tears, and he pulled out of Xingqiu’s hold, making his way back down the hill.
“Yunyun, come back! It was all in good fun, you know that, right?” Xingqiu called out, trotting after his lifelong friend. The girls trailed behind, chattering happily about a job well done. The group made their way back to Liyue Harbor, where Xiangling treated them all to lunch and Chongyun to his favorite dish, and threatened to rotisserie Xingqiu if he tampered with Chongyun’s meal after putting him through so much earlier.
After eating and listening to his friends idle banter he did feel better. Chongyun knew they had wanted to get him to come out and play, and while they were getting old for these games he’d be lying if he said he didn’t appreciate having friends who cared enough to plan such horrible pranks. And who knew, maybe next time the zombie apocalypse would be real and he’d be the hero who saved the day by being in the right place at the right time.