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‘Phil, I think I can do it this time.’
‘Do what?’
‘I KNOW I can kill this guy!’
‘How in all hell are you gonna do that, Larry? You ain’t got no arms, remember?’
‘With my MIND, Phil!’
‘...Seriously?’
‘YES! I am absolutely convinced that, with the right amount of mental focus, I can make his springs snap! It’s all about CEREBRAL POWER, PHIL!’
‘Larry, I’m absolutely convinced that you’re losing it. Keep it together, man! You’re embarrassing us! We’ve already got no legs— d’you know what the King would say if he saw us like this? It’s bad enough we got captured in the first place—’
‘OOOOHHH! Here he comes! I’m gonna DO it!’
‘Lord give me strength....’
‘Shut UP, Phil! You’re ruining my concentration here!’
Several Long Moments Later
‘Uh, Larry?’
‘WHAT, Phil?’
‘He ain’t dying.’
‘I can SEE that, Phil. But did you notice him twitch? That was MY power, I’m tellin’ ya! It’s messing with his clockwork!’
‘Uh-huh. Sure it is. Can’t help but notice he still ain’t dead, Larry.’
‘Well duh— it’s ’cause he’s not looking at me, Phil! He’s still farting about with that new arm-cannon thingy. It looks STUPID, you skinny freak!’
‘...Larry?’
‘Don’t distract me, Phil. I’m gathering my energy.’
‘Larry, listen! That arm cannon, it looks real nasty!’
‘Shut up, Phil! Ooh, there’s so much energy coming your way, buddy. Your springs are gonna EXPLODE—’
‘Larry, he’s aiming that cannon at YOU! Duck or something!’
‘YES! Look into my eyes, you creepy, Ergo-stealing, son-of-a—’
KABOOM!
‘NO! LARRY! Right, that is IT! Come closer you little twerp, you’re gonna PAY for that!’
Ten Minutes Later
‘Ugh... my head...’
‘Larry! You’re okay!’
‘Of course I’m okay, Phil. We’re connected to the hotel’s power supply, remember? We literally can’t die.’
‘Yeah I know, but still— he blew you up with a cannon, man. That looked rough.’
‘Damn, I thought I’d knocked myself out.’
‘With your... mind-powers?’
‘Psychic warfare is dangerous, Phil! It’s perfectly possible I gathered too much energy.’
‘O-kay. Well he still blew you up, but don’t worry. I avenged you.’
‘Really?’
‘Yep, he tried to turn on me instead, but ended up getting too close to ‘ole Thunder and Lightning here—’
‘You named your fists.’
‘Damn right I did! Thunder tricked him with a classic feint, then Lightning went in for a sucker punch! I got him square in his pretty little face, Larry. Fell flat on his arse.’
‘Hah! That’ll show him! Thanks for avenging me, Phil. Even though I can’t die, it... it means a lot you’d do that for me.’
‘Any time, Larry. You’d do the same for me.’
‘Ahem! Now, the NEXT time I shall meditate a while before trying to kill him again. A clear mind is THE sharpest weapon, Phil!’
‘Saint Frangelico preserve us.’