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To Ida, being able to see Aoki 24 hours a day was one of his ultimate dreams.
From the day they found out that they were going to attend university together, Ida already thought of many things. Wanting to live together, wanting to spend more time together, wanting to see him even more than they already did. Which was why he was in for such a massive disappointment when they found out that house hunting wasn’t as easy as he had imagined.
Two young men living together required a lot of space, not to mention their wildly different activities and schedules. On top of that, at the beginning of the school year, finding an apartment near campus was basically war. After calling the fifth potential place only to find out that it was also fully booked, they finally had to give up.
“Come on, now.” Aoki tried to coax him one day, after noticing that Ida was still sulking about the whole thing. “What’s so wrong with being neighbors for now? We both need to learn to live on our own for a bit, after all. And besides…”
Aoki paused, and then added in a small voice. “...I still need to prepare my heart…”
“What else is there to prepare for, at this stage?” Ida replied, almost without thinking, and was immediately rewarded by a slap on the back by a red-faced Aoki.
“ Stop being so nonchalant about it, sheesh!”
In the end, he had to be satisfied with being Aoki’s neighbor – their rented rooms were in separate buildings, but it was close enough for them to walk home together every day. Well, almost, anyway. Life in university was busy, with all of their classes and assignments and socializing – and it took quite a while for both of them to settle into their new routines. After two weeks straight of barely seeing each other, Ida couldn’t take it anymore, and showed up in Aoki’s room with an overnight bag.
Aoki sputtered and screamed at him at that moment – What are you doing here?? Did you get kicked out of your rented room?? – but in the end, he shut up long enough to let Ida explain. And afterwards, he didn’t protest anymore. Rather, he admitted in a small voice that he missed Ida too.
And so began their routine of spending the night in each other’s place. Most of the time, Ida would show up in Aoki’s house, though after a few times, Aoki took his turn sleeping over in Ida’s place too. It provided them with a much-needed recharge from the hustle and bustle of university life, and they both began to look forward to their regular sleepovers.
However, there was something Ida noticed after sleeping over a few times in Aoki’s place or having Aoki sleep over. Looking at Aoki and his usual daily habits, it was pretty easy to assume that Aoki wasn’t a morning person at all. But much to Ida’s surprise, whenever they spent the night together, Aoki always woke up before Ida did, even with the difference of mere seconds. And it wasn’t like Aoki fell asleep much earlier either – in fact, Ida was convinced that Aoki never fell asleep before he did. So despite spending many nights with each other, Ida had never seen Aoki sleeping around him.
Ida tried asking him about it – but Aoki didn’t seem to notice this particular habit. Or rather, perhaps he did, but he just didn’t want to talk about it. Whenever Ida asked, he always seemed to deflect with diplomatic answers (“Really? I did? I didn’t know that!”) or shifting the blame to Ida (“Ida, you’re just a sleepyhead!”) and so on. After a while, Ida just gave up. It wasn’t as if it’s a big deal who slept earlier or woke up earlier. So Ida just put that curiosity at the back of his mind and continued to enjoy his time with Aoki.
Until today.
“So you’re gonna be there long?”
“I really hope not, but it looks like I still need to wait for the coach.” Ida frowned and looked around, not finding any signs of the person he was waiting for. He was confident that there were no volleyball practices today, and he already called Aoki to sleep over for the weekend – only to be summoned for an emergency team meeting. For the upcoming practice match or whatnot. Ida wanted to refuse, but as a junior member, he couldn’t do as he pleased. In the end, he could only apologize to Aoki.
“Sorry, Aoki. Feel free to just go inside and rest, though I’m not sure I have anything proper to eat…”
“Don’t worry about that! I brought lots of food!” Aoki’s voice across the line remained cheerful. “Well, if that’s the case… pardon my intrusion.”
“Go ahead, sorry about the mess in my room.” Ida glanced at the door, sighing in relief when the coach walked in and immediately got swarmed by the other members. “Looks like the coach is here. I’ll try to go home as fast as I can!”
“No worries! See you soon, Ida!”
“See you, Aoki.” Ida ended the call with a smile on his face before running to catch up with his teammates.
He just couldn’t wait to get home.
Much to Ida’s delight, the club meeting actually ended much faster than expected – the seniors came with their forms pre-filled, and all that’s left to do was determining the starting lineup for the junior members. That, too, didn’t take long – the coach seemed to have his preferences already, and after making a few adjustments based on class schedules and other stuff, the meeting was wrapped up.
Normally, Ida wouldn’t mind staying behind and hanging out with his team members – they were fun to be around, which reminds him greatly of his old teammates from high school, and he genuinely enjoyed their company. But today, he already had something more important to look forward to. After exchanging a few greetings with everyone, he dashed away from the club room, heading home with thoughts of Aoki in mind.
When he arrived home, he was fully expecting to be greeted by Aoki’s bright smile, but his home was quiet. Ida frowned. Had Aoki not arrived? Did he decide to go somewhere? But if that’s the case, why didn’t Aoki text him to say anything?
Clearly, he was overthinking things. Because when he finally walked further in, he saw Aoki curled up on the couch, sleeping.
This sight was new, even to Ida. For a moment, he stopped in his tracks, unsure of what to do. In the end, he just stared at Aoki without doing anything.
Aoki was fast asleep. He had a throw pillow under his head and another in his arms, with one hand still holding his phone. Aoki’s bags and other stuff were piled up by the foot of the couch. His breathing was calm and slow, though it was clear that Aoki never planned on falling asleep. His eyelashes fluttered gently against soft cheeks, eyes never fully closing, and his lips too were slightly parted. Aoki’s light-colored hair splayed over the pillow beautifully, like a halo framing his peaceful face.
Ida didn’t want to lose the view. He quickly took his phone out of his pocket, snapping one picture after another as if in a trance. Aoki’s sleeping face was the cutest thing he had ever seen, and it’s a shame that Aoki never allowed him to see it before.
In the middle of Ida’s photoshoot session, Aoki’s phone slipped away from his hand and landed on the floor with a thud, startling the owner who jolted awake in an instant.
It was as if time stopped for a moment – Ida and Aoki stared at each other, neither saying a word. Ida held his phone in the air, still in picture-taking stance, and Aoki’s eyes widened the moment he noticed it.
“What are you doing?”
Caught in the act, Ida couldn’t do anything other than confess. “I was taking pictures.”
“Of what?”
“Of… your sleeping face.”
Ida could picture Aoki complaining and sulking about it, but he never expected Aoki to demand so tensely. “Delete the pictures!”
“But why? I like it.”
“Just delete them!”
“Aoki, I swear, these pictures are so cute–”
Ida’s sentence hung in the middle. He was too preoccupied with the pictures, and by the time he looked up to meet Aoki’s eyes again, he was shocked to see the beautiful eyes brimming with tears.
Wordlessly, Ida selected the pictures he just took and deleted them, also deleting them from the trash folder in his phone for good measure. When he was done, he showed Aoki his phone screen as proof, and Aoki covered his face with both hands, sighing.
“This wasn’t supposed to be such a big deal. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize. In fact, I’m the one who should apologize. I had no idea you felt so strongly about this, Aoki.”
Aoki was silent for a bit, and then he sighed again, still hiding his face in his hands.
“First year of junior high school, just after summer holidays, we had a school trip to a food processing facility. It wasn’t an overnight trip, but we spent the whole day out and I had so much fun looking at everything, I was exhausted by the end of the day. On our way home, I fell asleep on the bus.”
Aoki paused. “ –One of the kids had a camera with him. He took a photo of me sleeping with my eyes and mouth half open, and posted it on the school message board… Then everyone started making fun of me, calling me a pig that escaped from the food factory and stuff…”
Aoki ended his story abruptly, dragging his hands down his face in embarrassment. “Why do I always end up sharing my childhood traumas with you? Ugh, so embarrassing…”
Ida didn’t respond right away, but his brows furrowed ever so slightly, and then he opened his mouth to talk. “Um, when I was in junior high school, I didn’t realize that Mametaro slept on top of my uniform, so I went to school with my clothes covered in dog fur, and the girls were gossiping about it…”
Aoki frowned in confusion. “What was that?”
“I… Well, since you told me embarrassing stories from junior high school, I figured out that I would tell one of mine as well…”
“That wasn’t an embarrassing story, that was an endearing one!” Aoki cut him off with a groan. “The girls in your class definitely were talking about it in a good way! You have no idea how popular boys get when they love animals, do you?”
Ida slowly shook his head with a blank look on his face – eliciting an even louder groan from Aoki. “Seriously, Ida, you can be way too scatterbrained sometimes. I feel bad for the girls in your year.”
At any rate, the story did seem to lift Aoki’s mood, even if only slightly. “Anyway, now you know why I don’t really like falling asleep around other people. Sorry for overreacting, Ida. I just…”
He suddenly stopped, looking a little ashamed. “I don’t want to show you ugly sides of myself. I really like you, and I want to be someone you can like, so…”
“But I already like you.” Ida replied quickly, without hesitation. “I already like you, Aoki. I don’t think anything would change that.”
“Still!” Aoki fiddled with his hands. “I’ve never seen myself asleep before, and the first time I did, I actually looked hideous! How can I show that kind of face to someone I like?”
“Hideous?” Ida repeated slowly, almost unwillingly, and in disbelief. “Aoki, there’s nothing ugly about your sleeping face. In fact, when I saw you like that, I thought you looked like an angel.”
Aoki looked like he was about to protest, but Ida didn’t give him any chance to speak. “When I saw you asleep on my couch, I was so happy. You looked so comfortable and peaceful, and all I could think about was how much I want to see this every day. If I can wake up next to you and look at your sleeping face a little longer every morning… I think I’ll never have bad days ever again.”
“That sounds a bit much!” Aoki complained, but the traces of tears in his eyes were gone, and his cheeks were dusted in light pink. “But still… you always know what to say when I need it the most. Thank you, Ida.”
Ida cupped Aoki’s face in his hands gently, caressing his cheek with his thumb. Everything about Aoki was beautiful – from the long messy bangs framing his face, to his large eyes, sharp nose, and pouty lips – Ida had to restrain himself from stealing a kiss right there and then. Instead, he gave Aoki a genuine smile, saying everything he wanted to say without speaking a single word.
I love you.
The next morning, when Ida woke up, the air was still a little cold. The sun had only started to climb up, allowing a bit of light to stream in through the curtains. Ida took his eyes off the window and glanced to his side, finding – for the first time – Aoki still asleep.
Ida’s breath hitched.
Just like when Ida found him asleep on the couch yesterday – Aoki looked peaceful, chest rising and falling softly with each breath. Aoki was sleeping on his side, and even though Ida could only see half of his face, the side view was the most beautiful Ida had ever seen. Ida slowly brought his hand to brush Aoki’s bangs away from his face – he just couldn’t help it.
Aoki stirred in his sleep, his eyes cracking open ever so slightly, finding Ida’s hand hovering near his face. It was the longest few seconds in Ida’s life – and he released the breath he didn’t know he was holding when Aoki, instead of jumping up and freaking out, nuzzled into his hand.
Aoki’s voice cracked slightly, still laden with sleep, and Ida swore that this was one morning that he would carry in his heart forever.
“Good morning, Kousuke.”
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