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He exhaled to calm himself, as this ambition-driven Tarnished was about to face his so far greatest foe. Just behind that fog wall lies yet another demigod whom he would have to slain in order to obtain their Great Rune. It’d be an easy fight, or so he thought.
Just as he stepped through the fog, he was… a bit confused when he saw a tall woman sleeping. Malenia, she is, the Goddess of Rot. All of a sudden, she awoke, giving her hazy head a shake. “I dreamt for so long.” Tarnished subconsciously reached for his Claymore, his body tensing in response of her picking up her prothesis. “My flesh was dull gold… and my blood, rotted.”
She inserted her right arm prosthetic. “Corpse after corpse, left in my wake. As I awaited… his return.” She grabbed her helmet, and Tarnished grabbed a bell from his satchel. “Heed my words. I am Malenia. Blade of Miquella.” She then swung her long golden sword, now perceiving him as an enemy.
“And I have never known defeat.”
Though concealed by his mask, a smirk of pride shifted his mask as he imitated her stance, and of course, this got a dissatisfied huff from her. Cracking his neck, Tarnished charged forward-
He got killed in just two seconds…
She just dashed forward, threw him up in the air and impaled him with her sword. It was a humiliating defeat for Tarnished, but he wouldn’t just give up after one defeat. He had died before, like a lot, so one death by a tall momm- demigoddess wouldn’t crush his ego that easily. Everyone has a weakness, right? In this case, he ought to use some fire incantations.
“Flame, Grant Me Strength!” Tarnished shouted as a surge of power ran through his body. To even strengthen himself further, he activated yet another incantation, Bloodflame Blade, to enhance his sword’s capability. Scarlet Rot is supposed to be fended off by fire, so Malenia should not be a hassle.
Just as she was about to go back to her slumber, Malenia hummed in confusion when she heard fire cracking just outside the fog wall. A tired sigh escaped her lips as she once again picked up her sword. “Not giving up, are you, lowly Tarnished?”
One thing to mention, Malenia noticed how ridiculous Tarnished looked. His sword, his back burned a vigorous hue, so she immediately assumed that he was back for revenge. “Foolish, you are. Perhaps, I should teach you a lesson.” She readied her sword, as did Tarnished, and again, they clashed-
She killed him with ease.
Enraged, Tarnished angrily punched a pillar until it crumbled. Why was she so damn strong!? Like, she just effortlessly evaded all of his slashes, like a dancer of sorts. It might be embarrassing to admit, but Tarnished was mesmerized by her… whatever that unavoidable barrage of slashes.
He tried every other method, from summoning Mimic Tear and Tiche to even trying to come in peace, but Malenia just kept killing him without hearing him out. But he really needed that Great Rune, and to achieve that, he would have to kill her.
That’s not if she just kept slaughtering him over and over!
Tarnished laid on the grassy ground, on the verge of bursting into tears. He tried everything, yet, Malenia just mercilessly ended his life without any remorse. It seems like his ambition of becoming Elden Lord is… unreachable.
Tarnished opened his eyes to see flowers, just regular flowers that blossomed everywhere in the Lands Between. Nothing too extraordinary like the Erdleaf Flowers… Tarnished blinked, seemingly realizing something.
He knows of Rennala and how Radagon broke her heart when they presumably divorced, or frankly, when Radagon just left. The Golden Order just knew that they couldn’t destroy Raya Lucaria in a traditional way, but Radagon managed to do that through love.
Tarnished has an idea. A pretty good one.
He quickly plucked any flower he could find, white, blue, red and yellow. Any colour. Not only that, but he also set on a journey to find some butterflies. He would like to make a bouquet that’s large enough to impress Malenia. To lower her guard. To make it easier to break her heart.
Although Tarnished was a skilled fighter and butchered like hundreds of foes, it’d be quite an experience for him to fight his enemy without his trusty Claymore, but whatever it takes, I guess.
At this point, Malenia just considered throwing away her sword and offered him her life already. Suffering defeat after defeat, Tarnshed still remained persistent. She just wanted her brother back.
“My patience is… wearing thin.” Malenia didn’t bother questioning why Tarnished entered empty-handed and just dashed forward again. With his secret weapon behind his back, the male warrior strided toward her in a slow fashion. He hoped his half-baked plan would keep him alive.
Just before her golden sword could touch his neck, Tarnished, much to Malenia’s utter confusion, got on his knee and… held out his bouquet. Blind as she is, Malenia’s keen nose picked up on a fragant scent, and she halted her assault to figure out his intention.
“What do you intend, Tarnished?”
He said nothing but held the bouquet higher. Malenia sensed no harmful intent from him, but ones like him would have no reason to do this, especially after he tried to kill her dozens of times. Such a beautiful act as this could be a malicious scheme.
But… maybe there isn’t?
“Are you… giving me this, Tarnished?” Just as he thought, Malenia eventually put down her sword and closely inspected the flowers. She could not know what colors they were, but she could tell how carefully arranged each bud was. Good good, she was distracted.
Tarnished’s smirk widened as he revealed yet another trick: butterflies. Crawling out of the gaps in the bouquet, swarms of butterflies began to spread their wings and surround Malenia, who was completely stunned by the overwhelming presence of these harmful insects. Some even landed on her shoulders and helmet, and Malenia, baffled and confused, now realized his intention.
He was… asking her out!
For a very long time, a smile of contentment spread across her lips, but unbeknownst to her, Tarnished slowly reached for his Claymore while she was being distracted. It seemed to be working great so far, now he just needed to-
But before his hand could even touch the handle, Malenia forcefully pulled him into a tight hug, pressing his face against her… bosom. The sword was dropped on a small puddle, but she didn’t seem to have noticed that, or she really didn’t care at all. Luckily, the bouquet was still held by him.
However, it started to get… itchy.
Scarlet Rot!
He desperately tried to grab for the satchel at the side of his hip for those Preserving Boluses, but Malenia’s grip still immobilized him, even shattering his ribs. Of course, her grip of death didn’t end until Malenia heard his cries. She let go of him, allowing him some air to breathe.
“Forgive me, Tarnished... I was being careless.” Tarnished munched on the Boluses like a hungry beast to quell the Scarlet Rot spreading across his torso. Malenia kneeled down to his level, even attempting to touch his shoulder, only to retract it in haste.
A sigh of great relief escaped his mouth when the burning sensation vanished, and Tarnished looked up to see Malenia now holding that bouquet he made. As flattered as he was, Tarnished had no intent to… woo her or anything; he just wanted to distract her long enough to kill her.
“I thank you, Dearest Tarnished.” Dearest what now? Tarnished’s eyes widened in shock when she held out her prosthetic arm to him, and Tarnished hesitantly grabbed it. No Scarlet Rot, thankfully. It didn’t go like he had hoped, but he would make sure that it would succeed the next time.
Just follow the plan and improvise…
Once again, Tarnished got on his knee and tentatively held her prosthetic hand, causing Malenia to cover her mouth like an unexperienced maiden. He gave the cold golden material a deep kiss, which, unfortunately, stole her heart.
And forever sealed his fate.
Never in her life would she think someone would be brave, or foolish enough to even show her affection, in a romantic way. She was Malenia, Blade of Miquella, a dangerous and elegant swordstress whose face never showed a hint of emotion, now was painted in a deep red hue.
Tarnished bit the bullet and started to regret this very much. “From the moment… you killed me, I felt like I fell in love with you… Lady Malenia. Your strength and dances put me in awe, but deep down, I knew that I fell for you.”
Malenia’s cheeks reddened as she really didn’t know what to do. This is new, definitely new. Normally, this is something that would never happen to her. She calmed herself down, though the excitement in her rapid breathing was still very much present. This… faithful encounter shall usher them into a new age, into a new stage of Malenia’s life.
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Tarnished quite particularly, he didn’t understand why he even came up with this plan, but a soothing yet cold hand running across his own was enough to put his mind at ease. She didn’t seem like that aggressive woman like she was twenty minutes ago, now, she had his head on her lap, and a ridiculous amount of Preserving Boluses on his other hand
“I do not wish to harm you with my own affliction.” Tarnished shook his head, giving her a gentle shake of his head. Well, as long as it would lower her guard, Tarnished would endure anything.
This affliction, Scarlet Rot is a curse to her and everyone else. The Cleanrot Knights were burdened by this Rot, but it was their obligations, their choices to get afflicted by it, not because of the love this Tarnished showcased.
“I wonder how Miquella would think if he saw us now… Content? Disapproval? Or nothing? I’ve… never expressed such a desire to find a soulmate, yet, you changed my view, Dearest Tarnished.”
Oh, she is now calling him Dearest. Tarnished resisted an urge to roll his eyes and just listened to her constant mumbling. For a demigoddess, she sure is like a naïve girl who thinks love is strong, that love can help them get through everything. Meanwhile, he was just trying to earn her trust.
“I’m glad to have you by my side… A trusted companion, a soul that harmonizes with mine… and a consort…” Wait what? Tarnished tried to sit up, but Malenia had her strong hand wrap around his hip and sat him on her lap directly. No no no no, he did not wish for this at all. He had Ranni already! Ranni is his would-be-consort, and she is a kind woman…
Actually, the more he thinks of it, the less it makes sense.
Look at Ranni, and then Malenia. What has that blue doll done to him so far? He’s like an errand boy to her, and all she gave him was this Dark Moon Greatsword; it was a fine weapon, but she, so far, doesn’t feel like she loves him. It’s almost like she only cared about him until he ran out of his usefulness.
Plus, she is a freaking doll. What kind of pleasure can he earn from her cold, smurf-blue porcelain body?
Malenia, however, is tall…
And she has great… personalities…
Very great… indeed.
“I suggest… we go on a journey…” Tarnished spoke after taking some consideration. “To… strengthen that bond of ours. To help me become Elden Lord. To usher into an age in which we rule.”
Malenia looked at his offered hand, and without any hesitation, grabbed it. It’s kinda crazy how Malenia just deemed him her future consort after just a bouquet. Still, Tarnished had made up his mind and held her hand tight, and ate a boluse.
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Anything he struggled to defeat, Malenia just finished it for him. They were almost inseparable, fighting side by side. She was far better than Mimic Tear and Tiche; an unstoppable force, she is. Every time he was on the verge of death, she would freak out and try to do anything in her power to save him, which was unnecessary, but it also showed how devoted she was.
“You’re hurt, Dearest Tarnished.” Mohg’s Nihil got him good. But at least, they defeated that incestuous homosexual Omen predator. Now, they could bring Miquella back to the Haligtree, where he could-
“Lady Malenia.” An unexpected guest arrived, a female knight, it seems. Malenia, in an instant, realized who she was. “So you were guided here by Kindly Miquella?” The knight bowed, and Malenia nodded.
“Needle Knight Leda… We still haven’t forgotten your degenerate act against your fellow knights.”
“I’m afraid I have no recollection about my misdeed against my compatriots, Lady Malenia.”
Tarnished drank up his flask and stood up again. He didn’t care who that woman was and just grabbed his would-be-consort’s hand. “Touch the withered arm, and you will be transported.”
“To where?”
“To the realm of shadow where Miquella the Kind now dwells.” So whoever this hand belongs to isn’t her brother? Malenia looked down at Tarnished, who still carried a face of determination. Like he said, he would accompany her.
Let’s go, in and out, 20-minute adventure.
They grabbed each other’s hand and touched the withered arm.
This is bullshit!
Mohg was innocent!
Miquella was actually the predator!
If not for Ansbach and his sacrifice, Tarnished would have gotten his ass whopped by Radahn right now. Miquella wrapped his transparent arms around Radahn’s neck, saying something about his promised consort.
“O brother…, what treachery have you done?” Malenia slowly got back to her feet, along with her Tarnished. Miquella, now has ascended to godhood, turned his gaze at his sister and seemingly invited them to join his new Age of Compassion.
“Sister, if you have known sin; if you grieve for this world, then yield the path forward to us. To I, Miquella, and my promised consort, Radahn.”
He ripped out what he should not have: Love. There was, in fact, no saving him now. “No, brother, it’d be your prison.” Miquella tilted his head, perhaps in confusion. “I know that you are trying to do good, brother. Trying to change what Mother had done. But this is no way to do it.”
“What would you try, sister were you in my place? And with whom?” Tarnished stabbed his sword on the ground and looked at Malenia, smiling at her. She smiled back, giving her iconic golden sword a strong swing again and holding his hand, much to Miquella’s surprise. “Wait… sister…”
“With my promised consort, Dearest Tarnished.”
“Sister…”
Tarnished smirked in pride when she let him hop on her back and wrap his strong arms around her neck, imitating Miquella. “With him, I will be able to usher into a new age.”
Just a little more, and he could take her Great Rune.
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After defeating Placidusax, Tarnished and Malenia, anxious as ever, sat in front of each other, taking deep breaths. “I have faith it will work, Dearest Tarnished.” Tarnished looked at the Unalloyed Needle and nodded.
He had taken the Frenzied Flame despite Melina’s protest, but whatever, who cares about a girl who practically disappears for the rest of his journey. Despite the burning sensation on his hand, Tarnished grabbed Malenia’s arm and gave it a tender kiss.
Tarnished sank the needle deep inside the tip of his finger, feeling the flame spreading across his body and traveling to his finger. Malenia started to cough out blood, and the Rot spread fiercer than ever.
Just a little more!
Tarnished jabbed the needle back to her chest, sighing in relief when the needle buried itself inside of her, and miraculously, the Rot stopped spreading, and instead, started to… disappear.
A gasp of shock left her lips when she saw that… Wait, her eyesight has returned. She could see now! “Dearest Tarnished…” She absolutely had no word to express her deepest gratitude, and so, the only appropriate way to show it was to pull him into a deep kiss, which Tarnished wordlessly reciprocated.
The kiss, however, soon devolved into carnal lust, as Tarnished reached for her breasts, and Malenia slowly undid his armor. Their kisses ranged from passionate to downright sloppy. Finally, no need for Preserving Boluses!
Then, they proceeded to beat up everyone on their path. The path to the throne was just a straight line. Godfrey, First Elden Lord was a formidable foe whom Tarnished has great respect for.
Then they beat up her father Radagon next.
“Forgive me, Father… and Mother.”
After the Elden Beast was slain, Tarnished, weirdly, summoned Lunar Princess Ranni instead of mending the runes. Upon being called, the blue doll wore a smirk of victory, holding out a hand to Tarnished. “My fair consort, eterna-
Tarnished just took back the ring and kneeled in front of Malenia of all people. Without a doubt, the former Goddess of Rot accepted his proposal excitedly, much to Ranni’s utter shock.
Just a little longer, and he would get her Great Rune.
“What foul act is this? Hath she charmed thee?”
“No… He charmed me.”
With that said, Ranni could only watch in total disbelief as Tarnished gave Malenia a deep kiss. She was confused, baffled, and totally betrayed by her own champion. Ranni yet uttered no word as the two continued to deepen their kiss.
What the fuc-
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Just a little more…
Tarnished could feel his wife squirming on their bed, along with their five daughters sleeping soundly in the cribs next to them. He had grown much taller due to some gimmick of being Elden Lord, but he was still a tad bit shorter than her.
Well, height wouldn’t do much in their nightly ritual since Malenia was really rough.
Not much came to their wedding since… well, he killed every single demigod, except for Melina and Ranni, both of whom didn’t even bother to come because… Either way, under the witness of Boc, Miriel, Boggart, Nepheli, Rya and humiliatingly, Patches, their union met with everyone’s cheers.
They had five daughters, all of whom had Malenia’s features, from her vibrant golden eyes and red hair. They named the eldest Millicent, in honor of an old friend of Tarnished…
The new Elden Lord didn’t express any discontent when Malenia hugged him in her sleep. Well, it’s kinda hard to believe that this happened because he gave her a bouquet, the one she still keeps to this very day, near the Haligtree. This plan is really tedious and long. He just needed her Great Rune.
Wait…
The Great Rune… But he entered the Erdtree just fine… without killing her…
Tarnished’s eyes burst open, and he stared at the ceiling in realization. There was no need for her Great Rune… so… what was all that for? Technically, it wouldn’t even change anything whether he killed her or not…
She is… optional!?