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"will we ever be ok?" colet asks you, in frustration and in sadness. kakatapos mo lang umiyak, dahil kakatapos niyo lang rin mag-away. katabi mo siya sa maliit na kama, pero bakit parang ang layo ng distansya niyong dalawa?
"we will be." ang sagot mo, pero di ka sigurado kung naniniwala ka sa sarili mo. niyakap mo siya at ipanatong ang ulo sa dibdib niya, umaasa na baka pag narinig mo ang tibok ng puso niya kaya mo nang paniwalaan na mahal ka pa rin niya.
---
"uyab," she calls you from the kitchen. for the third time now. you were pretending you didn't hear, because you hate it when someone shouts from the other room. pwede naman lumapit. pero naalala mong nagluluto nga pala ng pritong isda. at nainis ka ulit. ayaw mo ng pritong isda. malansa, mamantika "magbakasayon tayo. how does a weekend in elyu sound?" ang ganda ng ngiti niya pagkatanong niya sayo
"ok. let's go." then you smile a smile that is sincere enough
---
"this feels nice." sabi mo. and to your surprise, you mean it.
"i agree." a pause, she looks at you "i love you, maloi. you know that right?" you are surprised again, because she means it.
"i know, but these days i dont feel it" you say, because her arms that are embracing you from behind feels so nice, extremely nice. na hindi mo kayang pagsinungalingan lahat ng nasa dibdib at utak mo. "this weekend feels like a getaway, but i think this is also a bubble." you continue
"kinakabahan akong umuwi, kasi pakiramdam ko gusto mo nang umalis." you look at her and pecks her lip "dont deny. and i understand. but can you indulge me, just for tonight. baka pwedeng dito muna tayo, maaga pa ang gabi." your voice shakes, and you say the only good thing you know "i love you, colet"
---
"ang hirap kasi sayo, di naman pala ok sayo pero oo ka ng oo. tapos pag napikon ka saka ka magbubuhos ng galit sakin. bakit di mo sinasabi agad?!"
"kasi sinusubukan kitang intindihin, pero ang daming beses nangyayari. may dulo rin pasensya ko. di mo ba alam? akala ko ba kilala mo ko?!"
"hindi ako manghuhula maloi! nakakasawa na bilang na bilang mo lagi ang mali ko, na minsan parang inaabangan mo na lang" in a lower voice she says "may pupuntahan ba ito? pareho pa ba tayo ng gusto? mahal mo pa ba ako?" she lets out. in frustration and in sadness. in love.
"sumagot ka, mahal mo pa ba ako? kasi kung hindi na, pwede mo na itigil ang pagkukunwari." she's crying now, the hardest you've ever seen her cry
"you're right. hindi na kita mahal" you lie "tama na, tumigil na tayo"
---
8:00am
"hey, let's have dinner! my treat, may kwento ako"
8:37am
"sige, sa usual place?"
10:05am
"yep! i'll pick you up at 7"
---
"and that's how i proposed to jho" dulo ng kwento niya. kanina pa kayo nagtatawanan. ilang beses niyo nang sinubukan hinaan boses niyo dahil nakakahiya sa ibang kumakain na bisita.
"napaoo siya dun?" tawang tawang tanong mo.
"oo!" masayang tili niya. tinignan na kayo ng kabilang table kaya sa mas mahinang boses dugtong niya "kahit ganun yun patay na patay sakin yun"
natawa ka, kasi tama siya. pero sa tingin mo: "well, as i see it mas patay na patay ka sa kanya"
"tama ka naman din dun" she smiles the happiest smile you've seen her make "i love her so much. i hope i'm doing everything right to keep her forever."
"knowing jho, ganyan rin siya sayo. im so happy para sa inyo" you say and you mean it.
---
"i dont know if you remember, but you asked me before if we will ever be ok." tanong mo habang papunta kayo ng pick-up area.
"i remember." she sighs, contentedly.
"i think we are." a beat. you look at her, then you smile "finally."
"i agree." she smiles as well "we are ok."
"i love you, colet"
"i love you too, maloi. see you sa kasal. your husband and daughter are also invited ha"