Chapter Text
The lull of the bus ride keeps getting interrupted by the occasional imperfection in the asphalt. Priya did not pay them any mind. If anything, they were an escape for her brain to worry about rather than the situation that had unfolded months prior.
Trying to keep her mind off of her situation right now, Priya fished out whatever was in her coat pocket. A receipt. She traced her finger among the larger letters making up the company’s logo.
Priya sighs, repeating the pattern.
Once she had bored herself of the activity, she shoves it back in her coat pocket, hard.
None of this was any use to her, unfortunately. Her mind kept getting backtracked to the decisions she has made within the last 24 hours. Normally she’d call Millie, but that’s exactly why she no longer has her phone with her. She had left it with her best friend in hopes it wouldn’t be tracked.
If this had been a couple of months prior, she might’ve had to worry about the attention that Total Drama had brought her. However, she would come to realize that without the guarantee of another season, the only change of relevance she could rely on would be a public breakup.
But that’s not what she wanted, it’s what her parents wanted. They raised her to be a spectacle in the public eye rather than someone to be seen. They raised her to be someone who was admired, and not someone who one should aspire to be.
Priya wasn’t raised to act on her emotions, she was raised to star in Total Drama. Now that she had done that, she foolishly thought she’d be able to live her life. But as the taping for the second season was nearing, it became increasingly clear that this would not be the case.
She had avoided watching the second season when it first released. Priya had no interest in reliving those moments, no matter how happy she seemed during the finale.
The urge to do so would eat up her mind for a month. At first it was a small doubt-like feeling but it wormed its way into the forefront of her mind, taunting her with information that she knew she shouldn’t desire. Eventually, she couldn’t take it anymore.
Seeing her boyfriend talk about her in the way he did was disappointing. Even though she knew that he didn't mean it anymore, a strange, familiar feeling found itself creeping back upon her. Doubt.
But, of course, his mind had changed, because of her.
That would set her mind at ease until the next time it happened. But, she couldn’t keep silent for long.
It’s not like he didn’t regret his actions. He would apologize everytime, however after the pattern kept repeating, Priya would further question everything.
Did he say anything about her that was cut out? The thought would occupy her brain over anything else. Maybe she’d overreacted during filming, based on what she’d known. But when she looked back on it, she found herself justifying her own actions more and more.
The thought only stopped plaguing her mind once a new one popped up, what if it was her fault?
It didn’t even take a week after filming the finale for her to regret the way she had acted in many of the later episodes of the season. Once she had time for introspection about the situation, it made her feel worse.
All of her internal debate with herself, alongside the frequent conversations with her boyfriend, it was clear where things were headed.
The breakup was amicable, but the two didn’t end up keeping in touch due to the issue of distance. Priya didn’t exactly live in a very populated area, so she was always hours away from him. At least it had its perks after the relationship was over.
Priya would find a lot of comfort in her best friend Millie over this. Millie hadn’t ever grown too attached to Caleb, it was only really a loss on Priya’s end.
While her friendship with Millie may have started on similar terms, forgiving her friend was a lot easier than her boyfriend. Priya had developed a deep trust in Millie, and her actions in the first season didn’t end up becoming an issue between the two.
Mulling over the timeline of events in her head didn’t exactly make for a good distraction, but there wasn’t much she could do about that. She didn’t feel it was safe to pack anything but her necessities, and that didn’t include entertainment.
She couldn’t bring her phone with her. Her parents tracked her phone heavily, so she made the difficult decision to leave it at home. But, before she did that, she would make one important call.
Priya’s hands trembled as she flipped through the contact list in her phone, desperate to reach ‘M’ as soon as possible.
She quickly stopped herself from hitting the call button once she realized the time. Millie might be asleep and not want Priya to disturb her sleep.
Priya fumbled with the thought in her head, but due to the importance, she figured Millie would want to know.
Hitting the call button, she hears the dial tone start to ring.
It rang once..
Twice..
Priya’s eyes shifted around her room, her eyes unadjusted to the dark that she was in. With each passing second she grew more nervous.
The dial tone rang for a third time..
Fourth time..
Her finger tapped on the walls of her room, a feeble attempt to calm her nerves.
“Priya..?” Millie’s voice on the other end was gravely and lower than normal, her words splitting apart as she spoke.
“Hey Millie,” Priya mentally prepared herself for the conversation, “I’m sorry it’s late, but I have my reasons,”
“I thought so,” Millie responded, evidently still tired, “what’s going on?”
“Well,” Priya sighed before speeding through her next words, “I’m running away!”
“ What? ” Millie’s voice immediately sounded more awake, “Why?”
Priya would’ve explained, but something stopped her. Millie had seldom been critical of Priya, for reasons she didn’t understand. She did want Millie’s opinion on what she was doing, but would she actually say what she was thinking? Millie’s opinion was important, but Priya wouldn’t know if she was lying about it.
If it would’ve been a few months prior, it wouldn’t need saying. But, her breakup had come and gone, and it wasn’t the entire reason she was running away.
So what was she supposed to do in this situation? Priya isn’t good at lying to people she cares about. She felt the need to get out, and that’s all anyone needed to know.
“I..” Priya paused before speaking, “I shouldn’t tell you right now, considering my situation. I’ll reach out as soon as I can, but I’m not taking my phone.”
“Priya wait-” Millie had started, but Priya had already hung up. She gasped through her teeth, feeling awful for cutting her off like that, but she needed to catch the bus. There wasn’t any time to waste.
That left her to where she was now, on a bus for the entire day, only in hopes to reach the city before sunset.
The exhaustion had suddenly hit her, she hadn’t slept since the morning. Sure, sleeping in the bus would be extremely uncomfortable, but she needs energy for when she arrives in the city.
Sleeping doesn’t come easily to her, considering all she can do is think about what has been in her mind for the past few hours. To combat this, she tells herself that she will have new problems once she reaches the city, right now all she needs is rest.
The next time Priya opens her eyes, it doesn’t seem like anything has changed. However, to her delight, they are now around 30 minutes from their destination.
She turns her back, looking out the window at what is around her. It looks a little more interesting than previously, due to being around the suburbs of the city.
It looks nice. Nice enough to keep her mind at ease for another few minutes.
Eventually, the bus rolled into a stop, her several hour long journey was now over. She gathered her bags and stepped out of the bus. The reflections of the late-afternoon mid-winter city shone right on Priya inviting her forwards.
Suddenly, Priya started to tense up as the situation dawned on her, she did not have a place to stay for the night. While she did have money in her pocket, it couldn’t be guaranteed that she’d be able to get a room. So, that meant she’d have to start looking quickly. She decided to go on foot in case the fare for a taxi would be too expensive for her to be able to afford a room.
Finding the first place wasn’t difficult, but it wasn’t of any use. The ‘no vacancy’ sign in front of her in bright neon lights taunted her, nevertheless it wasn’t enough to make her give up.
Before deciding where to go next, Priya stands in her tracks to look at the city before her. The beautiful city full of high-rising buildings sparks a twinge of nerves in her mind. But, regardless of her feelings, she has to venture forwards. This could, should be her new life, and she couldn’t give up on day one. That’s not how she was raised.
She would wander further into the city before finding a second place. From the outside it looked promising, so she ventured inside. She walks up to the receptionist’s desk, heart filled with hope.
“How much for your cheapest room?” She asked, trying her best to project the image of confidence.
The receptionist looks at Priya with a warm smile before answering, “$200.”
Priya’s face immediately fell. It wasn’t that she didn’t have the money, but that she needed to keep as much as possible. Losing $200 in one night was not the way to go.
Priya defeatedly walks out of the building, and begins her search for the next option. Her arms were getting tired from carrying all her bags and she was losing daylight.
In search of another place, Priya continues her journey. She makes it a couple of yards away from the last high-rise before she hears a familiar voice call out to her.
“Priya?”
She freezes in place, only turning her head to identify who just said her name. There’s a handful of people that it could be that she did not want to confront, and it could also be a fan of Total Drama. There weren’t many outcomes where she could afford to stay in the city much longer.
But it’s only Damien. Priya sighs in relief.
She hadn’t exactly kept in contact with anyone from Total Drama within the past few months, other than the obvious. But Damien was a nice guy, from what she could remember, and she wouldn’t mind talking to him.
“Damien? What brings you to the city?” She asks, trying to make conversation.
“I live here..” Damien responds with a slight smile, “in the city, I mean.”
Of course her nerves led her to that question that had such an obvious answer. Maybe he didn’t mention it too much, but she can remember now that he talked about living in the city. Her face contorts at the awkwardness of the conversation.
“Right, sorry,” She quickly apologized, “I forgot..”
“It’s fine!” His eyes shifted to the building Priya was about to enter, “is this where you’re staying?”
“Well, where I’m trying to stay,” She starts, “I’ve been having no luck finding a place for the night.”
“I mean, a lot of places downtown are booked up at night,” He starts, then continues to explain, “my family stops by sometimes, they have to book in advance if they want to get a room downtown.”
Priya sighs and leans against the building in defeat, her mind swelling with thoughts. She can’t give up right now and go home. She's already out in the city, she made it without any complications! She’d come too far to quit.
Just as quick as she slumped over, Priya perked back up solemnly and started gathering her things once more. She could still find a place, just not downtown. The journey would not end. Priya prepared herself to continue along, she was not a quitter.
“I mean, if you want,” Damien starts speaking, causing Priya to pay attention, “you could stay at my place?”
His words caught Priya completely off guard. It hadn’t even been a thought in her mind to even ask for that. Taking him up on the offer seemed.. okay?
But, the suggestion curled into a question because of his uncertainty. Of what? Priya couldn’t tell. Maybe he felt sorry for her? He felt like he had to? She was experiencing quite the difficulty figuring out his intentions behind the offer.
“I mean, you don’t have to, but maybe it’d save you some time?” Damien prompts her again, with the same uncertainty curling the end of his sentence yet again.
His thoughts made Priya’s thoughts come to halt. Before she spoke again she had one final thought, Maybe he was just looking out for her.
“I’d actually really appreciate that!” She finally responds to him.
“Cool! My place isn’t too far away so you can just follow me.” Damien prompts her, sounding a little more confident in himself.
The pair head in the direction, with Damien leading the way. Snow begins to fall downtown, covering a previous layer of ice, as the sun sets over the city.
Damien and Priya arrive at an apartment building, many stories in height, wedged between more of its own.
“My apartment is on the third floor,” Damien turns to look at Priya, “do you need help with your stuff?”
Priya had been carrying her belongings for quite a while now, balancing her grip between the multiple handles.
Still, she wouldn’t budge, “Nope! I can handle it.”
With Damien following behind, Priya makes her way up the stairs until she reaches the third floor. Before she can step on the stairwell’s landing with his door, Damien warns her to pay attention.
“I’m pretty sure there’s ice right there,” He brings up, as if he was just remembering himself, “so, uh, watch your step!”
“So, like I’ve been doing the entire time?” Priya asks teasingly.
“Oh, uh, yeah..” Damien replies.
Damien approaches the door, pulling his keys out. As he attempts to unlock the door, there is a small struggle. Because of how long it is taking, Priya is able to give her hands a rest by letting go of her belongings.
All of a sudden, he stumbles back, slipping and falling on the ice, landing on his face. Priya quickly and carefully rushes over to make sure everything is okay.
“Are you alright?” She asks him concerningly.
“Is the key,” Damien replies, exasperated, ”still in the door?”
Priya walks over to the door and focuses on the doorknob. The key is still in the door, she twists the doorknob, pushing the door open.
She turns back, and offers Damien a hand to help him up.
“Thanks..” Damien says with heavy undertones of embarrassment.
The pair make their way inside, Damien closing the door behind them.
Priya, eager to investigate his place, questions Damien, “How long have you lived here?”
She walks up to where he is standing, noticing him not responding to her question. Currently he is standing over his kitchen counter, staring at the key he just used, broken in two on the counter.
“I bent it a little too much..” Damien says with a twinge of sadness in his voice, before turning to Priya, “but I’ve got spares. We should probably figure out where you’re going to sleep tonight.”
Priya peers around the apartment, curious to look around the place. The place isn’t particularly big, so there’s not much to discover, but she’s still interested. She winds up outside one of the doors, before Damien stops her dead in her tracks.
“That's my room,” he says, a little too straight faced, “and uh, it wasn’t exactly expecting any visitors..”
Priya looks around the rest of the apartment, confused. The majority of it looked extremely clean, to the point where it looks like he was expecting her to show up.
“I mean, the rest of the apartment looks clean..” Priya expresses her concern.
“That’s because my parents told me to,” Damien explained, “and I am not arguing with my parents.”
His parents? The mention unintentionally reminded her of what she had been doing. Especially the second part of his sentence. Were they looking for her? Well, no doubt they were, but what exactly were they doing to find her?
In that instant the full gravity of the situation weighed on her, and she had to do everything in her power to not make Damien question it.
“Alright then! Are there any other rooms?” Priya says a little too enthusiastically.
“I mean there's two bathrooms, and my parent’s room.. Nothing too exciting,” Damien says before perking up, “but you could sleep in my parents bedroom! For tonight, at least. ”
“I shouldn’t!” Priya denies the offer, “Your parents would probably get mad that I’m here in the first place, if I sleep in their bed —“
“I can clean it before they even come back, it's fine!” Damien attempts to reassure her.
It doesn’t work.
“Isn’t there somewhere else I could sleep?” Priya thinks of another option herself before Damien can respond, “I mean, your couch would work!”
It seems the idea hadn’t crossed Damien’s mind, “Oh, I guess that does work.. But, really, It’s not as nice as my parent’s room!”
“It’s okay !” Priya attempts to not fall into hysterics, “I’m just going to be in your bathroom, alright?”
Before Damien could process what she said, she leans back into the hallway, giving him a quick “Thank you!” before following through with her words.
Priya gently squeezes the door shut behind her, letting out a sigh as soon as it’s closed. Finally alone, and with the weight of the situation on her, all she could do was stare at the mirror in front of her.
She didn’t realize she was crying until she felt the tears roll off her face. She has now tied yet another person into this situation, and she also hasn’t told him anything yet.
However, the more she thought about it, there was just about no indication of where she had gone. So, in the meantime, she was safe in Damien’s house.
She doesn't want to overstay her welcome, so she decides she’ll be gone in the morning. She won’t have to tell him anything, and then he won’t be officially roped into this situation. All that was left to do now was to leave the bathroom and make sure Damien didn’t suspect her of anything.
Before she left, Priya began to fill up the sink with water. She then submerged her head in the water, rubbing at her face until she needed to surface for air.
She returned to her original position, staring at herself in the mirror as water droplets bead off of her face, combining a few strands of her hair. If she was going to pretend all is fine, she needed to be convincing. However, for a change, none of it was for her own safety.
Pressing her hands into the sink, Priya rocked back and forth on her feet rehearsing in her mind what she will say when she leaves. She wants to have a reasonable explanation for anything Damien might question.
Maybe he’d ask why she wasn’t keen on staying in his parents room? Perhaps he would question why she wasn’t in town with her parents? She has answers for just about anything, either white lies or half truths, but still answers nevertheless.
Confident in her plannings, Priya loosely grips the doorknob freeing herself from the confined area. She half hoped for Damien to be asleep, however he was still waiting, leaning slightly against one of the kitchen counters.
He craned his neck upwards, noticing her presence. He begins to ask her a question she was already prepared for, “You alright?”
Priya scoffs, “Why wouldn’t I be?”
Her simple response was well-crafted, maintaining her facade of normality while also determining why he is asking this question.
However, Damien gives the only response that Priya was not prepared for, “Well, you were in the bathroom a while..”
Priya’s mind draws a blank, an unexpected outcome. She blinks twice before retorting back, “I didn’t ruin anything, I swear! ”
Damien’s eyes widen, and his eyebrows furrow, “I didn’t think you did..” He looks around in confusion, almost as if he expected a response, but he quickly speaks again, “if you don’t want to tell me that’s fine, but, now I’m even more concerned.”
“Can I just go to bed?” Priya pleads, a last attempt to divert the conversation.
Thankfully for her, Damien accepts this. He leaves her to figure out how to set up the pull out sofa bed.
This was an easy task for Priya. She had done this before, and she could expect every outcome, no matter how she may come across.
In other words, it was easier than talking to people.
Damien reenters the scene, with a sheet and blankets in his hands. Dropping the items off on the couch before turning over to Priya.
“I’ll go get some pillows, if you need anything else let me know!” His voice trailing him and he disappears around the corner.
Making the bed is easy, and soon enough Priya has the bed made completely.
Damien comes in with pillows for Priya and then retreats to his room. Finally, this long day has come to an end and Priya could rest.
But, that’s an issue, sleep couldn’t find Priya.
Eventually, sick of herself, Priya gets up, frustrated. She creeps along the floor to the kitchen, fixing herself a glass of water, in hopes it will help her sleep better.
She caught herself thinking if she was allowed to do this, it was only water right? Surely he wouldn’t mind?
But, letting her sleep in his house so easily on a whim was probably already so much of a burden. She doesn’t want to make this any more difficult than it already is, even if it is as small as a task as cleaning a glass.
She sat alone in her thoughts, until she heard a creak in the floorboards. Damien had left his room and was headed in her direction.
She debates whether or not she should try to escape unnoticed, but she couldn’t make a plan in time before he entered the room. She quickly tries to inch away from the scene, and is almost successful.
Almost , Damien opens the fridge, illuminating the space around him. He turns as he notices Priya and shrieks once he notices her.
“I did not see you there,” Damien quickly speaks with his hand over his chest, before he questions her “why are you on the floor?”
Priya stands up, getting ready to leave the kitchen, not wanting to do any worse than she feels she’s done.
But Damien is persistent.
“Listen, I don’t mean to pry, but,” he sighs before his voice picks up again, “I can tell something’s going on with you, I just want to make sure you’re alright..”
This stops Priya in her tracks.
Priya’s voice quivers as she musters up a sentence in response, “I didn’t plan this little trip out all the way through, I don’t—“
Priya halts her words as her eyes start to well up, she curls her fingers into tight fists to keep from crying.
“I didn’t plan things out at all. Everything that has ever happened in my life was planned. It didn’t matter if I was making the decision or even if the decision was in poor taste!” Priya shouts, taking a second to catch her breath as tears streamed down her face, “I needed different, and that can’t be anywhere near home.”
She leans against the counter as silence dwells between the two of them. Damien rests his arms on the island, standing parallel to Priya. Priya doesn’t dare meet his gaze, but she breaks the silence.
“I decided to be spontaneous once , I thought it wouldn’t hurt. I’m scared, but for the first time I’m scared and unprepared.”
“Well, I know how that feels,” Damien responds.
Priya tenses up. How could she have forgotten? That was Damien’s entire issue the first season and she had just vented to him like it was something he wouldn’t have understood.
“Right, right,” Priya sighs, “that’s another thing. I’m really freaking myself out, and I’m being incredibly inconsiderate lately.”
“I wouldn’t say that was inconsiderate just now,” Damien replied, puzzled “you’re upset, I don’t expect you to be thinking too much about me right now.”
“It’s not just you,” Priya wails, “it’s also—“ she cuts herself off, gritting her teeth.
Damien notices her apprehension, and chooses to wrap his arm around her shoulder instead of talking to her.
Priya smiles softly. While she could really use advice right now, she’s stuck where she is and comfort is what she really needs.
“You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want me to,” Damien starts, “but, I think we have to get to bed”
Priya cranes her neck up to look at the time. On the stove a bright 1:43 blinks back at her, the hours of staying awake weighing on her brain.
“I wish I could.” Priya sighs, finally makes eye contact with Damien.
“You mean to tell me,” Damien nervously smiles, “you’ve been through all that you’ve been through and you can’t figure out how to sleep tonight?”
Priya is caught off guard, and slightly confused for half a second. Thinking about it more, she starts to chuckle.
Quickly enough, Priya is laughing, eyes closed with her hand covering the top half of her face. Her hand drapes off her face as Damien stares in concern.
“Are you okay?” He asks, almost getting cut off from Priya’s quick response.
“You’re right!” She exclaims in between her fits of laughter, “I’ve done so many things for the first time today, well, yesterday , and I can’t do the one thing everyone does everyday ?”
“Hey, insomnia is an issue that a large majority of the population suffer with!” Damien retorts, while also picking up Priya’s playful tone.
Priya grins while she scoffs, “Oh, I’d know about not getting enough sleep, Damien!”
“ Really? ” Damien presses her further, “I just figured you’d be all about getting to bed on time and sleeping well!”
“I’ll have you know I’m experienced with both !” Priya giggles as she responds.
“So if you know so much about sleep, why can’t you sleep ?” Damien asks with a grin on his face.
The mood shifts in the room as Priya is brought back to reality with the question.
“I’m just,” Priya briefly pauses, gathering her words but to no avail, “thinking. Maybe a little too much.”
Damien sighs and places a hand on her shoulder, “As someone who knows nothing about what’s going on with you, I’d say you’re pretty safe to forget about everything for the sake of rest.”
“Pretty safe?” Priya asks, concerned about the vagueness within the two words.
“Well, you know me ,” Damien rolls his eyes, “I can never be one hundred percent sure.”
Priya’s face curves into a slight smile, “I’ve trusted you so far , so I’ll trust in you and your uncertainties tonight.”
“Alright, let’s go to bed then. You can think about what you want to do tomorrow morning” Damien says, letting go of her.
Priya responds in only a nod before the pair part ways from the kitchen.
Priya climbs onto the sofa bed, wedging herself between the blankets and the couch cushions. Taking Damien’s words to heart, she averts her attention from her predicament and instead grabs a pillow to hold as she drifts off to sleep.
After a day filled with being uncontactable, underprepared, and unsure of how the rest of her life would plan out, one might assume that was all Priya was thinking about. Even though she’s taking Damien’s advice, she must still have it on her mind.
On the contrary, she let her worries melt away as she fell into a deep sleep. Before she manages to fall asleep there was a new thought in her brain, only one thing managed to make her calm enough in order to rest.
Or, rather, someone.