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As you made your way home from the store, hand-in-hand with your daughter, Rei, you heard a commotion in the town square. Curious, the two of you followed the sounds of applause and the delighted squeals of children to its source – a sizeable crowd surrounding what appeared to be a group of street performers and, towering above them all, a strange sight on this tiny island you called home. A… giraffe?
“Mama, a circus!” Rei shouted, bouncing excitedly on the balls of her feet.
You smiled down at her. “Let’s get closer and have a look, then.”
The two of you approached the crowd but, try as you might, you simply could not find an opening. Rei was tugging at your hand impatiently, but the wall of bodies blocked your way. Suddenly, a man to your left jostled you, and Rei’s hold on your hand broke, and you lost her in the throng.
You looked around wildly, but she was too small to be seen amongst the mass. You tried calling for her, but your voice drowned in the cheers and applause. Before you knew it, the performance had ended, and the crowd began to disperse, but still there was no sign of Rei.
Just as you were beginning to panic, you heard a familiar voice calling you.
“Mama!”
You looked up to find Rei running towards you, a man following close behind and smiling down at her. He had kind eyes and a long nose, and there was something familiar about him that you could not quite put your finger on.
“She’s yours, I take it?” he asked. His voice was soft and friendly, and he had an air of an old soul about him, though he could not have been older than his early twenties. “I found her alone and quite distraught.”
“She is,” you said, lifting your daughter into your arms and hugging her tightly. “Thank you so much for bringing her back to me, Mr…?”
“Kaku,” he said. “Just Kaku. I belong to the performing troupe over there.”
“I’m [Name]. And this is Rei.” You let Rei down so you could shake Kaku’s hand. It was warm, the skin callused as if he had spent years hard at work rather than performing on street corners. His grip was gentle, but you felt a strength behind it that sent a shudder up your arm.
“Wait ‘til you see what he can do, Mama!” Rei enthused.
The sound of her voice jolted you, and you hastily let go of Kaku’s hand. He was watching you with an amused smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. Then he crouched down to Rei’s height.
“Why don’t you come see us perform again tomorrow?” he said cheerfully. “Just don’t get lost again, okay?”
“Okay!” Rei beamed.
He stood back up, turning to you with a smile. “We’ll be here for a while so I’m sure we’ll run into each other again. See you!” He turned with a wave of hand and, before your very eyes, turned into a giraffe.
You stood stunned for a long moment, before you were pulled from your daze by Rei tugging at your hand.
“Can we go see him again tomorrow? Pleeease?”
You had no choice but to agree.
The next day, as promised, the two of you went to watch the street performers. Being among the first to arrive, you were ensured a front row view, and you laughed and cheered and clapped along with Rei and the rest of the crowd. When it came time for Kaku’s performance, you handed Rei some Beli to drop into the hat they were collecting donations in. He removed his hat and bowed deeply to Rei, before turning to you and winking. He laughed at the light blush that began to spread across your cheeks.
The performance left you in high spirits that day, and Rei could not stop enthusing about one thing or another. You were heading home after a short stop by the grocery store when you heard your name being called.
It was Kaku, his usual gentle smile in place. “Did you enjoy the performance today?”
Rei wasted no time in enthusiastically telling him everything she loved about it. Kaku chuckled and turned to you. “And what did you think?”
“It was quite marvellous,” you said shyly.
He nodded and beamed, before turning his attention to the large paper bag you were carrying. “Heading home? Here, let me help you with that.” And before you could refuse, he had lifted the heavy bag from your arms. “So, where to?”
You led him down the street to your house, taking your time and chatting all the while. Rei ran ahead of the two of you, talking animatedly the whole way. Kaku chuckled as he watched her.
“Is it just the two of you at home?” he asked.
“Yes, for a while now.”
“Where’s the father?”
“He’s… out of the picture.”
“I see…” he said. You were glad he did not press the subject.
When you reached your house, he walked you to your door, handing you back you bag before saying goodbye. “I hope you’ll come see us again!” And with a short wave he was gone.
You’re not sure how it happened, but Kaku walking you home became a regular occurrence. He was so polite, you simply could not say no, and Rei had grown quite attached to him. The third time, you invited him inside for tea, to which he politely declined, an aura of hesitance hanging about him that you had never seen before. The fifth time, he gave in, though he seemed reluctant to do so. That reluctance was swept away before too long.
“Your door hinges are creaking a lot. How about I come around tomorrow with some oil and fix that up for you?”
“Oh, you don’t have to trouble yourself with it,” you said setting down the tea. “You’ve already been so helpful.”
“No, really, it’s no problem. I used to be a shipwright. Things like this are easy as pie.”
And so began a strange sort of friendship, one you couldn’t help but feel was a little one sided, but he never seemed to mind. He’d come over and perform a little much needed maintenance, then you’d sit down for tea. It went on for months, and before long you began to realise your eyes lingered a little too long on his, your heart fluttered when he smiled, and a strange warmth began to spread through your chest when you saw him and Rei together.
“Kaku? Are you almost done with the sink, I need the water for the kettle—” You stopped abruptly at the sight of a very shirtless Kaku standing in your kitchen one warm summer afternoon, wiping the sweat from his brow with a rag.
“Just finished. Everything should be good to go,” he said, oblivious to your current state.
You made a point to only look at the floor as you talked to him. “Oh, uh, great. Thank you. I’ll put the tea on,” you said, busying yourself with setting the water on to boil. When you turned back around, you were relieved to find Kaku clothed once more and watching you curiously.
“That looks like the last of the repairs. You really let this place go, huh?”
“Well it was always Rei’s father’s job to fix those things, but since he left…”
“Ah, of course…”
Awkward silence fell between the two of you for a moment. “Why don’t you go wait in the living room?” you said, perhaps too abruptly. “I’ll bring the tea.”
He obliged, but not before giving you a long lingering look, as if he wanted to ask you something, but could not quite find the words to say it.
You let out a long breath. You liked Kaku. Perhaps more than was appropriate for someone you had only known a few months. But there was a reason it had just been you and Rei for so long. Could you open up to someone new just like that?
Pushing the thoughts to the back of your mind, you balanced a teacup in each hand and made your way to the living room, but stopped in the doorway as you heard Rei and Kaku’s voices. You peered inside and noted how comfortable Rei seemed around him, and how Kaku’s smile always seemed so genuine when he was around her. How incredible it was that, in the space of just a few months, he had become such a constant, positive presence in your lives.
“Mama thinks you’re cute,” Rei suddenly piped up. Her back was to you, but Kaku was seated on the couch facing the entrance to the kitchen.
Kaku looked amused. “Does she now?” He glanced up and noticed you hovering by the doorway. He raised an eyebrow and you felt yourself flush a deep red – and the embarrassment didn’t stop there.
“Yep!” Rei continued, unperturbed. “She says it all the time!”
He chuckled. “Are you sure? See this nose? It means I can tell when you’re lying.”
“I’m not lying. Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye!”
Kaku seemed momentarily taken aback by the sudden morbid vow, but then laughed. “Well, I guess I’d better believe you then,” he said with a smile. “Hey, can I tell you a secret?” He glanced up at you, eyes shining, before looking back to Rei.
“Okay!”
He gestured for Rei to come closer, then leaned in and whispered just loud enough for you to hear too. “I happen to think your mom is pretty cute too.” You didn’t think it was possible to blush as hard as you were at that moment.
Rei giggled. “Your secret is safe with me.”
You entered the room. “There’s an awful lot of whispering going on in here. What are you two plotting?” you teased, setting the tea down on the coffee table.
“Nothing, Mama!”
“Uh-huh,” you said, sceptical. “Rei, honey, why don’t you go play in your room for a bit and let Kaku drink his tea? I’m sure he’s thirsty after all his hard work.” You looked to Kaku for confirmation, and he nodded gratefully, sinking back into the couch cushions.
Rei happily skipped off to play with her toys and you were left alone with Kaku. You found yourself lost for words. For weeks, your feelings for him had been growing, there was no doubt about it. But now everything was out in the open, there was nothing left to say.
There was a loud knock on the door.
“I’ll just be a minute,” you said, and rose to answer it.
You opened the door onto a past you would have much rather forgotten.
“Here she is, the bitch,” slurred the man at your threshold. “You won’t answer my calls, changed the locks. I’m beginning to think you don’t like me anymore, [Name]?”
“That’s because I don’t,” you hissed.
“Why are you whispering? You got a visitor? You playing whore to some new guy, huh?”
“And why would that be any of your business? You left us, remember?”
He made to push past you. “I want to see my daughter.” You could smell the alcohol on his breath, see the redness of his eyes. In two years, he hadn’t changed one bit.
You held firm. “She doesn’t want to see you. Now leave.”
“Mama?” you heard the hesitant voice behind you
His face grew livid. “Where’s Rei?!”
He shoved you hard and you gave, but before you could fall, someone caught you. You looked up at Kaku, his mouth set in a hard line, the usual cheerfulness gone from his face. His eyes were hard and cold.
Where’s Rei? you mouthed up at him.
Safe, he mouthed back before turning the man before you.
“Is there a problem, sir?” he asked, drawing you close to his side.
The man drew himself up to his full height. “Yeah, there’s a problem. This slut won’t let me enter my house to see my daughter.”
Kaku’s eyes grew even colder. “The way I see it, they stopped being your house and your daughter the second you decided to abandon them.”
“You fucker!” The man lunged at Kaku. It all happened faster than you could perceive in your panicked state. Kaku pushed you behind him, blocking your view. The next thing you knew, Kaku had the man in his grip, squeezing the life from him. You watched his face grow redder, the veins pop out form his forehead, while Kaku barely seemed to be trying.
“Kaku, enough!” you cried, tugging at his arm.
Kaku blinked at you and in an instant released the man. He fell to the ground, heaving and clutching his throat. You weren’t sure what you had just seen. You didn’t know what to say. The man scrambled to his feet and glared at the two of you in fear.
“Don’t come back,” Kaku hissed at him and that was all the man needed to go scampering off without so much as a glance back.
The moment he was out of sight, Kaku seemed to deflate, a sudden exhaustion overcoming him. “I’m sorry. This isn’t… I didn’t want you to see me like this.”
“It’s alright,” you said, your voice hoarse.
“No, it’s not. I had no right meddling in your business, I know that. And I shouldn’t have…” He closed his eyes and sighed heavily. “This side of me, I was hoping to run away from it for a while, see how normal people lived. Guess I can’t run from it.”
“If you hadn’t… There’s no telling what he would have done. He’s a bad person.”
“So am I.”
“That’s not for you to decide.”
“No, you don’t understand. I’m not the kind of guy you want around. I’ll just bring trouble to you and Rei. I should leave. I’m sorry. Once our business is done here, you’ll never see us again.”
“Kaku,” you said, taking his head in your hands. Standing on the doorstep, you were at just the right height to lean in and capture his lips with yours. He stood frozen at first, before he reciprocated it hesitantly. All too soon you broke away. You chuckled quietly at the slight frown he wore, eyes still closed and lips parted as if in anticipation of more.
“You’re not a bad person,” you said softly. Kaku’s eyes opened to focus on yours, a look of wonder on his face. “I see how you are with Rei, and you’ve helped us in more ways you can imagine. Please,” you said, taking his hand and tugging him gently back inside.
“Stay a while. With us.”
How could he refuse?