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A soft warmth spread across the lawn where my girlfriend and I were sitting. The flowers around us swayed with the afternoon breeze, and the sky was painted a deep blue, dotted with birds flying in graceful formations. I was beside her, and she lay a little closer to me, a peaceful smile on her lips.
As we admired the sky, I felt her gentle fingers brushing through my longer lock of hair, the one she always caressed with a special tenderness. I had always thought this lock was a peculiar detail — somewhat unusual, maybe even strange to some, who saw the difference in length as a sign of neglect. But to her, it seemed to be something more.
“I think this part of your hair is amazing, Atsushi,” she said, with a smile that always disarms all my defenses.
“Really? Why do you say that?” I looked at her with curiosity, unable to hide a shy smile.
“Because instead of hiding it or trying to make it like the rest, you left it as it is. It’s like it’s a part of who you are, something that makes you unique. In fact, I think it makes you even more attractive.” She tilted her head, gazing at me with a look that mixed affection and admiration.
I felt a lightness in my chest as I heard her words. It was incredible how she always managed to make me feel better, simply by being so affectionate and sincere with me. Each compliment and gesture seemed to erase a bit of the pain I carried with me.
However, even with all the love and care she gave me, my insecurities were a constant shadow. For eighteen years, I had heard repeatedly that I was irrelevant, that I perhaps shouldn't have been born. Those harsh words were like invisible scars, hard to forget and even harder to overcome. Every time I tried to push them away, they came back, haunting my nights and undermining the confidence she tried to build in me.
“Can I ask you something?” I asked, with a look that carried a subtle sadness, trying to hide the whirlwind of emotions I felt inside.
“Of course, Atsushi. You can ask,” she replied, maintaining the gentleness of her hands as she continued to caress my lock of hair.
“Why do you love me?” I finally dared to ask, my voice filled with an almost desperate doubt. “I really don’t understand…”
Her eyes widened at my sudden question, and her hand momentarily stopped over my lock of hair. The silence stretched for a moment as she processed my words. She knows well the details of the physical and mental abuse I endured at the orphanage, and she understands that moments like this require special patience.
Frequently, I feel inadequate, as if there were no salvation for me. Yet, she always responds with a warmth and certainty that contrasts with the darkness I feel within. Instead of yielding to my insecurities, she reminds me of a worth and hope that I can barely recognize.
“I love you because, despite all your insecurities, you are a genuine and kind person. You might not see it, but your strength and tenderness are what attract me. Besides, you have the most beautiful eyes in the world. They’re so… unique. I see in you someone who deserves to be loved, and that’s how I feel. I love you for being Atsushi Nakajima, from the Armed Detective Agency.”
Hearing her words, a wave of emotions washed over me. I felt a mix of relief and bewilderment, as if an invisible weight had been lifted from my shoulders. The idea that she sees something beyond my insecurities and the traumas I carry seemed almost unbelievable. Her compliments touched a deep place within me, where fear and doubt often dwell. I found myself reflecting on her words, trying to understand how someone could see so much beauty and worth where I only saw flaws and fragility.
The feeling of being loved, despite my imperfections and past scars, was almost overwhelming. It was as if a part of me, which had always felt misplaced and out of place, was finally finding a space where it could be accepted and valued. The idea that my strength and vulnerability were something admirable and attractive brought a new perspective to my self-image. I felt a growing warmth in my chest, a mix of gratitude and emotion, as I realized that, to her, I was more than my insecurities and traumas.
The mention of my eyes and my role as a detective brought a sense of recognition that I rarely experienced. It felt as if she could see through my defenses and perceive the true essence of who I am. This recognition, coming from someone I deeply valued, kindled a new hope within me. What had once seemed a desert of doubts was now beginning to bloom with the promise of a love that, perhaps, I could truly accept and believe in.
“Stop being so… amazing…” I said, my eyes shining like precious stones. “You must have fallen straight from heaven, right?”
“Stop, Atsushi… you’re making me blush.” She laughed shyly, her face reddening with my passionate declaration.
“I’m telling the truth. Thank you for being with me for so long. A woman like you is rare, so know that well.”
“Atsushi…” she murmured, with a shy smile and a sparkle of emotion in her eyes.
“I love you so much, my future bride. Thank you for loving me as I am.”
As soon as the words leave my mouth, I notice their impact when I see her cheeks turning intensely red, like ripe tomatoes. My heart races and a sweat starts to form on my forehead, as embarrassment hits me unexpectedly.
As I try to handle the situation, the heat in my face only intensifies, reflecting my own reaction. The love I feel for her is so deep and all-encompassing that it seems impossible to describe in words. It’s as if the feeling is an endless ocean, vast and indescribable, that no bible or human expression could fully capture.
“Future bride, huh? I like it.” She smiles from ear to ear, a radiant gleam of happiness in her eyes, which catches me by surprise.
“D-did you like it? Didn’t you think it was too cheesy or… too emotional?”
“Of course I liked it… my future groom.” She replies with a sincere smile, her voice filled with tenderness and a hint of playfulness.
Feeling a wave of teasing, I let my hand slide gently around her neck, pulling her closer. The gesture is careful and intentional, a way to connect her even more to me. When our lips meet, I initiate a calm and sweet kiss, a soft touch that conveys all the tenderness and love I feel. Every movement is deliberate, a silent expression of feelings that cannot be fully captured in words. The kiss is an intertwining of emotions that speaks more than any declaration could.
As the kiss lingers, a feeling of gratitude washes over me. I feel that, in that moment, I’ve found a safe haven in her arms, where words are unnecessary and love is manifested through simple touches and gestures. It’s a powerful reminder that, despite all the adversities, we work together to face whatever comes our way.
This woman is truly unique, and I need to cherish her as she deserves, just as she cherishes me.