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I am a humble sign.
My visage is that of a cloud knight, saying “theft is a crime”. I keep the peace without a weapon.
But I can’t help but want more.
I want to hold a gun and shoot down criminals and vagrants alike, borisin and abominations. I want to be the hope of the fleet.
I sigh. Alas, I am a two dimensional image, doomed to failure.
But my big break came sooner than I expected.
“Help! This scum stole my backpack!”
I noticed the thief running towards me. This was my chance!
I did my best to tackle him, but having no feet, I tumbled to the ground, and as gunshots flew by me, a stray bullet pierced me, or rather my image, in the head.
So this is how it ends…
“Good morning, sleepyhead.”
Who is there…ugh.
“My name is Jade, and I am a representative of the IPC. I know you desire to uphold justice, and I have a deal for you.”
“I will give you a three dimensional body, but in exchange, for every usage of your gun, you will give me 5% of your dimension. Is this acceptable to you?”
I didn’t have much of a choice, I wanted the body. 8 shots of justice, and I would return to being a sign.
I will make the best use of my body to save everyone.
I signed the contract (get it? signed) and felt my head get heavier.
I woke up with a start. Did I dream that-
No. All praise the Arbiter, I’m three dimensional!
Why is my gun glued to my hand-
That’s not important. I need to go out and uphold justice.
Is that a robber? I caught sight of a cloud knight fighting a grey haired thug with a baseball bat. I have to help my fellow comrade in arms!
I lifted my gun. The bullet sang true and lodged itself in the head of the culprit, who disappeared upon dying.
“Ahem…thank you for helping me, fellow knight! I’ll leave this in your capable hands!”
He ran away.
Before I could utter another word, I felt a bat smack into my skull.
How was I supposed to know that the cloud knight was an imposter?
After clearing things up with the “Galactic Baseballer”, I found out that the fake cloud knight had been harassing the store to stop its business from going smoothly. That is simply diabolical! And I even lost 0.15 dimension to that fellow.
It’s okay, I got more experience now. I strolled the streets and saw a man arguing with a swordswoman. He was saying something about giving up and selling. I kept walking and saw a shady man selling strange boxes.
Contraband! Fork this guy!
My bullet shot through the air on a mission, but unfortunately for the nearby cycrane, it somehow lodged itself between the man and the bullet.
“Squawk!”
Oops. I steadied my gun, and took aim again.
“What are you doing on Luofu! Possession of weapons is illegal!”
As my bullet struck the smuggler in the head, leading to a bloody mess, I turned to see a cross looking woman glaring at me.
“Why are you naked!”
Oh I didn’t wear clothes behind me…I forgot I’m a sign.
It’s not what you think! I am, a sign!
The lady runs off, yelling for the ten lord’s commission and spiritfarers.
I lost 0.28 more dimension. By now, I was becoming a 2.5 dimensional being.
I need to uphold justice and make these shots count.
I need to check out this Fyxestroll Garden place. I heard malicious Heliobi live there.
I arrived as the sun begun to set, and immediately noticed a floating ball. All my shots missed it.
“Foolish man, shooting an energy lifeform! How hilarious.”
“Oh, you’re not a man. You’re a sign, that explains the lack of intelligence.”
That’s not very nice, you’re not a human either, are you even intelligent?
“Then beat me in chess and prove that you’re smarter!”
Sure, let’s go!
I found myself in a strange maze with walls. There was no escape. Then I heard a cry in the darkness.
“Rules were made to be broken!”
That’s right, I will win! I am the beacon of justice! I aimed at the wall in front of me and shot. To my surprise, every wall that was connected to that block crumbled, leaving an open path.
Stepping out of the maze, I brushed myself off as the floating ball ran away, depressed.
Suddenly, I heard a faraway scream. I hurried over to investigate. The scene before my eyes brought tears to my eyes. The Galactic Baseballer was downed by a warden.
Fear not, I will avenge you, fellow hero! A shot rang out, loud and clear, and the clang of metal against the ground reverberated for miles.
“All units on alert! An armed man has broken into the sanctuary!”
That should teach the cult not to bully my friends!
As I turned to walk away, I nearly tripped.
My feet were starting to become smaller and less stable, and one side of my arm was completely gone. I was now a 2.3 dimensional creature.
Soon, I would be nothing but a sign.
I staggered out of the garden. On the plus side, I didn’t need clothes any more. As I passed by the alchemy commission, I saw a mara struck soldier run towards me.
Firing at the soldier, I managed to kill him, but he had friends. I fired another shot. I only had one left. This was it.
Before I could gasp, a swirl of red mist unfolded upon the battlefield, swallowing up the mara struck.
“Thank you for your service, sold- wait, you’re a sign?”
By now, I had lost most of my third dimension, and was a 2.1 dimensional creature.
Yes, I am a sign, and I uphold justice.
In the following days, this strange lady took me in and cared for me.
Well, at least, she provided basic sign care like wiping off the dust and polishing.
I think this is a good place to retire.
The wardance was happening soon. Lady has gone out. I will go out and ensure no crime occurs.
As I walked along the street path, I saw a lady swinging a giant sword as she stepped on another lady.
What is she doing?
A poor little Diting was escaping from her, narrowly avoiding her attacks.
I have to save it! Die, villain!
As I shot my final bullet, I became a 2 dimensional sign again.
The lady parries the bullet perfectly, and strikes me in the forehead. Or at least, the image of a forehead inscribed onto my sign body.
As I opened my eyes again, I was staring at Jade.
“You thought I was Jade, little pawn, but I was in fact Phantylia, and now you are a traitor to the Xianzhou. I hope they will have mercy on a foolish, little sign of a voidranger.”
I screamed in agony as my third dimension was reforged in the form of a hideous horse monster. My second dimension was still a sign.
“Rules, were made to be broken!”
Sadly, this is not the sound of Sparkle’s trace activation.
Fork me.
(insert break dmg sound effect here)