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Seokjin was born with heterochromia. One eye was a dark brown like every other Korean he knew, but one eye was a light blue. Seokjin also happened to be blind in his blue eye. He was used to it and it didn’t bother him that he had no peripheral vision on his left side, even if people tried to express pity constantly fussed over it.
The thing that bothered him was not the blindness of his eye. It was the color and all the stares and whispering that it brought. He wore sunglasses around everywhere, whether it was rain or shine. He squinted past his sunglasses at the menu. “The usual, though?” The girl behind the counter said.
“Uhm, no. I wanted to try the cake today…”
“Oh. The cheesecake is really good! Or the blueberry mousse.” Seokjin took both and his usual mocha, and waited by the counter to order before folding himself into the corner of the café. It was small and out of the way, and its customers were usually only regulars and others who’d been introduced by regulars. He liked it. There was no crowd to stare at his eyes so he could actually take his sunglasses off to read and relax. He sat with his back to the rest of the café, and that meant his left eye was on the outside but he didn’t really care. People couldn’t really see from this angle, anyway.
He was about halfway into the book and so engrossed in it that he almost jumped out of his seat when someone knocked gently on his table. He looked up in surprise to see a man who’d dyed his hair a mint green. The color reminded him of his own eye and he flinched before ducking his head. “You can take the chair, it’s not being used," he mumbled, figuring that was the reason for the interruption.
“I was wondering if I could sit,” the man said. The voice was surprisingly deep on a man that was pretty small, and Seokjin fidgeted. He looked around to see a ton of empty tables, and figured it was the man’s favorite seat or something. He didn’t quite want to make trouble so he nodded and reached for his things. “Ah. No. I wanted to talk to you, is what I meant.”
Seokjin blinked up at him again, forgetting his eye color again. The man’s hair color reminded him once again and he ducked his head again, blush spreading quickly to his ears. “Oh. Uh. Sure, I guess.” He carefully marked the place in his book.
The man grinned at him. “Great. I’ll buy you a drink. Do you want a refill?”
“Oh, that’s okay, really. I wasn’t doing anything anyway.” Seokjin shook his head and looked at his empty cup, but the man just put his things down and had gone to order. A few minutes later he was back with a tray holding two cups and two pieces of cake. “It really was okay.” Seokjin had slid his sunglasses back on and he chewed nervously on his bottom lip. What did the guy want?
The man sat and pushed the steaming cup of mocha frappe to him. “My name’s Min Yoongi. I’d like to talk to you with your sunglasses off, if you don’t mind. Your eyes are amazing.”
Seokjin felt his ears heat up and ducked his head again. “They’re really not.”
Yoongi leaned back and sipped on his coffee. “I think so. I write music, and I’ve been looking around for some inspiration. I was sitting over there and I couldn’t help but notice your eyes. I thought they were both blue because that was the only eye I could see from my point of view, but you’ve got odd eye, huh?”
Seokjin nodded with a blush. “It’s.. called heterochromia, actually. I mean! Not that I mind. But odd eyes are for cats.”
Yoongi chuckled. “Sorry, didn’t mean to offend.”
“Oh. No, I. Um. No, I wasn’t offended.” Seokjin ducked his head again and pushed his sunglasses higher up his nose. “They’re really not that great.”
“I think they’re beautiful.” Yoongi hummed, and pushed the cake toward Seokjin. “Help yourself. I don’t like sweets, and I bought them for you to eat. I’d appreciate it a lot if you’d take off your sunglasses, though.”
Seokjin hesitated. Yoongi didn’t seem like he had any bad intentions, but Seokjin had never really sat face to face with anyone other than his family. He fumbled with his fingers for a bit before taking a deep breath and carefully sliding his sunglasses off. Yoongi kept eye contact with him as he did and Seokjin dropped it first, fidgeting around his fork. “It’s weird up close, isn’t it? You won’t hurt my feelings if you say so.”
“Actually, I came to talk because I thought your eyes were pretty.” Yoongi sipped calmly on his coffee. “But with your sunglasses off, I see that’s not the only thing pretty about you.” He grinned at Seokjin and Seokjin felt his face burn again. “You don’t believe me.”
Seokjin sighed. “If you’re making fun of me..”
“I’m not.” Yoongi leaned back. “I meant it when I came to talk to you to get inspiration. I’m a songwriter. Usually do rap, hiphop, that sort of things. Sometimes ballads, if I feel like it. I’ve been in a kind of a slump, and I’ve been going around for an inspiration.”
“Just because I.. have different colored eyes?”
Yoongi nodded. “To put it simply, but I think it’s more that I’m finding inspiration in you. And how you look.” He grinned at Seokjin. “Pretty.”
Seokjin flushed a bright red again. “I don’t know if I can be much help.”
“Oh, you don’t need to do anything. Seriously. I’d like to get your number so we could talk and maybe meet up sometimes, but that’s seriously it.”
Yoongi bought him more pieces of cake and Seokjin carefully unwrapped one when he was back home. Yoongi’d tried to talk politely at first, but as he got more comfortable Seokjin’d noticed the rough edges showing. Seokjin smiled and shook his head exasperatedly. Obviously Yoongi had wanted to get on his good side – he kept offering to buy more cake, which was the only thing he knew Seokjin liked. They’d been messaging each other since Yoongi’d let Seokjin go.
--
[I’d like to meet you for dinner sometime next week?]
[Sure. Where did you have in mind?]
[I know a nice place in Myungdong. 7PM Wednesday night? It’ll be less crowded than on weekends. I hate crowds.]
--
“Sunglasses again,” Yoongi noted drily, and Seokjin blushed. “One day, I’ll convince you that you don’t need them. I reserved a room for us, though, because I figured you’d be like this.”
“Thanks.” Seokjin smiled. “This place looks expensive.”
“My treat. Seriously.” Yoongi shrugged. “You have no idea what you’re doing for me. And actually, I wanted to get to know you better, so this is definitely gonna be my treat.” Seokjin opened his mouth to protest, but Yoongi ushered him into the restaurant. The waiter led them to the room and Seokjin took his shoes off so he could climb up into the sitting room. “Also, it’s actually not that expensive. Hey, we’ll have two servings of the full meal? I hope you don’t mind traditional Korean meals because that’s all this place has.”
Seokjin shook his head wildly and hesitated, but carefully slid his sunglasses off. Yoongi took their coats to hang on the coat rack, and Seokjin almost knocked his water glass down when Yoongi snapped his finger close to his left ear. “I- I didn’t see you there.”
“Mm. I guessed as much, but you’re blind in that eye, huh?” Yoongi sat down across from him. He didn’t look like he was trying to make fun of Seokjin or judging. “It is because of the color?”
Seokjin shook his head and wrapped his fingers around the water glass. It was cold and he wondered if he could get some hot tea instead. He glanced to the door and looked back down. “No, I think it’s just me. I just got unlucky, that’s all. But it’s not that bad! I can see pretty well. Most people underestimate how much we can see with one eye..” Seokjin smiled uncertainly at Yoongi. “I don’t have peripheral vision on that side, but it’s not bad.”
Yoongi nodded and pressed the bell for the waiter. He ordered two meals and glanced at Seokjin. “Oh, could we get some hot tea? Just one’s enough.”
Seokjin blinked. “How’d you know I wanted something hot?”
“You kept looking at your glass and glancing out like you wanted something else.” Yoongi shrugged. “I figured you wanted to something else to drink, but you didn’t really strike me as the type to want soda or anything with your meals, so I took a guess.” He grinned at Seokjin. “Good thing I got it right.”
Seokjin only blushed and ducked his head. The food came pretty quickly and Seokjin’s eyes brightened at the food, and Yoongi chuckled. “I like food,” Seokjin said, a little defensively, and Yoongi just nodded with a grin. They talked about Seokjin, mostly, about how he worked as a translator because that let him work from home without having to actually see people. “I do Japanese, English, Mandarin, and Cantonese.”
Yoongi raised an eyebrow. “That’s a lot of languages to be fluent in.”
Seokjin blushed. “Well, when you mostly stay at home, there’s nothing really much to do. I decided to pick up as many languages as I could.”
“You’ve got a knack for it.” Yoongi refilled his glass of tea. “Not many people can learn so many languages just because they want to.” Seokjin blushed and mumbled a thanks. Yoongi hummed in his throat and then said, “You’re not good at taking compliments. You know, I meant it when I said you were pretty. Your eyes, and your face. Also I think your personality.” Yoongi snickered and clicked his chopsticks together. “I’m glad I met you.”
Seokjin felt his ears heat up but couldn’t help but smile down at the table. “Do you usually treat people that are your inspiration?”
“Actually, you’re the first person to be like this.” Yoongi shrugged. “I’ve always drawn from experiences and friends and famous people and in general things I already knew. I don’t know what made me think going into that café was a good idea, but I’m glad I met you.”
--
Seokjin got to know Yoongi more and more to the point where they stopped with formalities and spoke plainly. He’d visited Yoongi’s studio a couple of times, and now he’d packed dinner for Yoongi. “Sunglasses again,” Yoongi scowled, and then reached over to pluck them off Seokjin’s face. “I keep telling you that you look fine without them.”
“People look at me.”
“It’s because you’re so pretty.” Yoongi frowned, but stepped aside to let Seokjin in. He pushed the sunglasses to the far corner of the table and watched Seokjin carefully unwrap the tiers of the lunchbox he’d brought. “I didn’t know you could cook.”
“I’m not good,” Seokjin smiled. “I just like to, sometimes. Don’t expect too much.”
Yoongi grinned. “Looks good, though?” He picked up the chopsticks and started eating. Seokjin gnawed nervously at his lip but Yoongi seemed to like what he was eating. Yoongi wasn’t a fast eater – he took breaks and went back to his music, worked, came back, and ate more. Seokjin was keeping busy himself, but he glanced up every time Yoongi came back to the food.
He must have fallen asleep at one point, because he woke up with a start when he felt a hand tuck a blanket around him. “Sorry,” Seokjin mumbled, trying to get up. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”
“It’s fine. It’s actually pretty late.” Yoongi was close. Seokjin could open his eyes and look directly into Yoongi’s, so he ducked his head and heard Yoongi snicker. “Go back to sleep, but lie down. The couch is actually pretty comfortable.”
“I wanted to hear what you’ve been working on,” Seokjin mumbled, already halfway back to sleep. He heard Yoongi chuckle before he fell back asleep.
--
Even though Yoongi was adamant the song was nowhere near done, Seokjin bugged him enough to hear a bit of the song. He got to hear pieces until Yoongi decided it was time to get dessert, and Seokjin couldn’t say no to his favorite café. “It didn’t sound like much yet, I know.”
“I think it sounded great, actually,” Seokjin giggled and sunk his fork into the sponge cake. “I can’t wait to hear the full thing.”
Yoongi hummed and sipped on his coffee. Seokjin was rocking back and forth, something he did when he was nervous, and Yoongi saw his hands flinch for his sunglasses. Yoongi frowned and looked up to see two women staring Seokjin’s way, whispering low enough that the only thing Yoongi caught was his eyes are so weird.
“Hey,” Yoongi cleared his throat, but Seokjin wouldn’t look up. “Hey, what they mean is beautiful, all right?”
Seokjin snorted but didn’t raise his head. “Can we just… let’s just get this to go?”
Yoongi wanted to argue but Seokjin looked so dejected he said nothing. He just folded the paper box around the half-eaten sponge cake. Seokjin slid the sunglasses on his face and still kept his head hung low. Yoongi had half a mind to yell at the women but didn’t want to bring Seokjin unwanted attention.
“I meant it when I said your eyes were beautiful, you know,” Yoongi said, once he’d walked Seokjin home. “I wish you’d believe me.”
Seokjin smiled meekly. “I – I do. I mean. I know you think so, and I’m really grateful for that.” His smile warmed. “It’s given me a lot more confidence. Really.”
While Yoongi knew that was true, he still hated how meek Seokjin was. Especially since he’d seen for himself how lively Seokjin could get when he was with him. Seokjin wasn’t exactly a chatterbox but he got excited for things and got hyper, laughed loudly and so hysterically it made Yoongi smile, and had such passions for things that he hid whenever he was outside.
Seokjin had his sunglasses on again once they stepped outside, and Yoongi reached up to pull them down the bridge of his nose. Seokjin hung his head and Yoongi sighed but pushed the sunglasses back up. “You shouldn’t have to hide those eyes. They’re both beautiful.”
--
Seokjin stared at himself in the mirror. One blue eye, one brown eye. He squinted and sighed and wanted to just fog up the mirror so he couldn’t see the blue eye. He liked to think he was a decently good looking guy. He heard the little whispers from school girls on subways oh my god he’s so good looking? But those whispers switched to ones of mock when his sunglasses were off.
That’s so weird. Kind of creepy, don’t you think?
So Seokjin’d learned to keep his sunglasses on. But lately, going around with Yoongi meant Yoongi kept taking his sunglasses. Yoongi let him have it when they were outside, but when they were inside, Yoongi took it immediately. Seokjin fidgeted under the stares and whispers, but Yoongi just took his elbow, looked him straight in the eyes and said, Every single part of you is beautiful.
He hated being blind on one side. He didn’t mind Yoongi coming up on that side to surprise him – in fact, he kind of liked it, but he still started when someone came up from that side. He was so flawed, and he didn’t know how Yoongi kept telling him that he was beautiful.
Yoongi’s friends kept telling him his eyes were so cool. Namjoon told him that he had the color of a cloudless summer sky in his eye, which was more poetic than Seokjin thought his eye deserved, and Hoseok said it kind of looked like the color of the amusement park cotton candy, and Seokjin was still trying to figure out if that was a compliment or not. (Hoseok was adamant that it was.)
He jumped when the phone vibrated so hard that it almost dropped off the bathroom counter. The alarm on his phone told him to leave so he could be on time to meet Yoongi, so he ran out, shoving his arms into his coat. His hand lingered at his sunglasses, and he clenched his fist.
Right.
--
Yoongi’s jaw dropped when he saw Seokjin. “Hi,” Seokjin mumbled, his head bowed. He’d tried walking with his head up but he gave up on that and walked instead with his head down to the ground. “I put earphones on so I couldn’t hear what the people were saying.”
Yoongi grinned and gripped his hands. “They weren’t saying anything, I promise. And if they were, it was about how nice your eyes were.” Seokjin somehow doubted that was the case, but Yoongi grinned widely at him and Seokjin just blushed. “Come on, let’s go anywhere you want today. I’m not really in a songwriting mood. Let’s go to that stupidly overpriced dessert place you like and I’ll get both of us cake.”
Yoongi cupped Seokjin’s elbow and steered him to the subway. Seokjin bowed his head but Yoongi pushed a finger under his chin and pushed it back up. “Let the world see your pretty face, Seokjin.” Yoongi grinned. “They might not deserve it, but you make the world a prettier place.”
--
Seokjin threw himself on the couch, coat and all, and buried his face in his hands. He liked Yoongi. He couldn’t believe it. Seokjin looked at his reflection in the balcony door and ducked his head back down in embarrassment. “So, so stupid,” Seokjin mumbled to himself. Yoongi was nice to him, but that was because he was his inspiration. My muse, Yoongi called him. They ate often and Yoongi just asked Seokjin to talk about himself, and while Seokjin hadn’t exactly spilled all the details about his life, he’d told Yoongi a lot. But Yoongi hadn’t exactly done the same.
Seokjin had been afraid this might happen. He wasn’t used to kindness or warmth of any kind. He avoided people and he’d never been the one to seek out relationships. His eye kept him from doing much of that. He sighed and rested his forehead on the mirror. “No more, Seokjin,” he told himself quietly, “I think you’ve played this game enough.”
He avoided Yoongi after that. He couldn’t quite get himself to ignore him entirely, so he sent short replies to Yoongi’s messages and made excuses when Yoongi asked to meet.
[Seokjin, why are you avoiding me?]
Seokjin winced. Yoongi wasn’t stupid, of course, so he knew he’d catch onto his stupid excuses, but still. He hadn’t thought about what to do when Yoongi actually confronted him about it. [I’m not avoiding you,] he tried. It sounded stupid to him. He wondered how stupid it’d sound to Yoongi.
Sure enough, his phone vibrated on his lap and he jumped. It showed Min Yoongi on the screen and he hesitated, but he gingerly picked up. “Hello?”
[Seokjin,] Yoongi said, and that was all he said for a while. He sighed and Seokjin could hear some rustling. [Tune into 89.1 FM, please? I just – please just listen to it.]
Seokjin hesitated but woke his computer up for the radio app to tune it to 89.1 FM. The radio station was in the middle of the song, but Seokjin recognized it immediately as the song he’d heard parts of in Yoongi’s studio. “Yoongi,” he started, but couldn’t find the words. “Yoongi, what-“
[I heard your song.] Yoongi whispered, and the song crooned about the song of a lonely whale whose song was never heard. [I know you were lonely. I know you’re scared of actually meeting people. But I heard your song.] Seokjin couldn’t respond, but Yoongi continued softly, [I’ll be waiting, okay?]
--
Seokjin spent the next few hours staring up at the ceiling and listening to Whalien 52 on repeat. He didn’t know why the song made him so incredibly sad, because the melody was actually pretty upbeat. But the story of the whale singing by itself forever with dreams its song would be heard one day made his heart ache. And the fact that this song was Yoongi’s, inspired by himself – that made things worse.
He wanted to see Yoongi. He didn’t know how this would end, but he couldn’t just lie here and wait for everything to pass. I heard your song, Yoongi said, and Seokjin felt his heart wrench again. He grabbed his coat and shoved his arms in his sleeves, fumbling a little with the buttons as he shoved his feet into boots. He’d just wrenched the door to his apartment open and was rushing for the elevator when an arm grabbed him out of nowhere. “Blind in your left eye,” Yoongi said, sniffling a little with a red nose. His hand was freezing.
“Have-have you been here all this time?”
“I said I’d be waiting.”
“You didn’t say you were outside my door!” Seokjin shrieked, horrified. Yoongi had been here. All this time. In the cold. He punched the code to his apartment and ushered Yoongi in, sat him down on the couch and starting rushing about. He tugged the portable heater to the living room and looked up when he heard Yoongi laugh.
Yoongi was right behind him. “It’s nice to see you again.” He cupped Seokjin’s cheek and grinned. “I’ve missed my muse. And taking advantage of your blind side.”
Seokjin blushed and pulled away, but Yoongi only smiled. “Sorry. I just.. I just didn’t know what to do if you left.”
“So you left first.” Yoongi hummed and put his hands over Seokjin’s. Yoongi’s hands were bigger – weird, considering Yoongi was so much smaller than Seokjin. His hands were cool against Seokjin’s warmer ones and Yoongi tugged Seokjin to the sofa. “You’ve been alone for all your life, which blows my mind because you like being with people so much. You love spending time with me; you love spending time with Hoseok and Namjoon. I know you’re scared and hey, you’ve got the rights to be, considering how you grew up with that eye. But I care about you a lot. How can you live thinking only about the end? And even if we end up parting ways, what if we made good memories in between? Did you enjoy all the time you spent with me?”
Seokjin nodded and felt like crying. He didn’t know why – he just did. “I didn’t want them to turn bad.”
“Trust me, Seokjin. If you let it end like this, they’ll turn bad.” Yoongi chuckled and rubbed his thumb over Seokjin’s knuckles. “You know, I’m pretty bad at this relationship thing, too. But Namjoon reminded me that you’d have no idea, so I’d have to step shit up. And he’s right, but I’m new at this, too. Even if we end up going our separate ways, yeah, it’ll hurt at first, but later, we’ll have good memories. But I swear, Seokjin. I like you a lot. And I don’t have plans to go separate ways. I told you, I heard your song.”