Chapter Text
Kaz had gone missing.
It wasn’t unheard of, your boss was often going on his “walks” and just happened to come back with a DeKappel, but you having new intel that should be told to him as quickly as possible, him being absent was particularly frustrating.
Jesper had seen him standing by the bar, looking even angrier as he usually looked like when Jesper was going to the kitchen. When Jesper had greeted him, Kaz had told him to shut up, and after Jesper came out of the kitchen with a cup of coffee, Kaz had disappeared into thin air and had been away from the Slat since. You had checked all the usual places he was in. The Crow Club, the usual places around the Barrel, the roof, the harbor and no sign of him anywhere. You even asked from the harbor if there was a chance he had gone to the Black Veil Island for some reason, but no one could confirm they had seen him rent a boat there. You had also asked the barkeeper Joris about him, but he had just shrugged, telling you he hadn't seen him either even though he was scheduled to come meet his new employee. The poor boy had sat in the backroom for over two hours, sweating so much because of being nervous that Joris had thought he could even melt.
All of it was making you pace around the house. Your fellow Crows were telling you to calm down, but you just couldn’t, the opportunity you had was a golden bullseye, Kaz would be incredibly angry if he found out too late.
You had followed that old rich fool Van Benschoten for months, just waiting for him to slip, to lose his guard, to show you how to get into his manor’s cellar. The man was an idiot in many ways, but he had had his wits present when he had chosen his security architect. It had been incredibly hard to find out anything about it, because he kept changing it up every few days, and tomorrow could be too late for this information.
When you couldn’t take it anymore, you decided to climb into Kaz’s office to wait for him there, to make sure he wouldn’t be able to slip by your attention. You knew he didn’t like you or Inej going there without him being present, but if you happened to fall asleep, Kaz would wake you up once he came back.
“Kaz?” you called out from the window just in case, even though you didn’t expect to get an answer. And you didn’t. You slid into his dark office before you lit the oil lamp and took a seat across from his desk. You stared at the door for a while, but then turned your head to his desk. Maps, a blueprint, one of his ledgers, and… in the corner of your eye on the floor was a crumpled paper.
Your name was written on it.
You swallowed, looking around as if to make sure no one sees you looking at it, that Kaz wasn’t hiding somewhere observing what you do when you see it. And you knew you shouldn’t snoop. It was nothing, probably. Likely. But what would Kaz write about you, that got him so worked up that he’d crumple it up, toss it aside and march out of the Slat in a burst of anger?
But still, you found yourself picking it up from the floor and carefully straightening it. It was clear Kaz had squeezed it into a ball before throwing it aside.
Was it the reason why Kaz had been angrier this morning, barking at Jesper like that?
You just couldn’t help yourself, just a few words, you promised to yourself. You just want to know what it's about, if it was something important. Maybe something to do with one of the upcoming jobs.
The ink had dried, but it had still been wet when Kaz had crumpled it up. Most of the letters had blurred, but you were able to distinguish what one paragraph said despite it. You took in a deep breath and began reading.
“I wanted to tell you yesterday. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. What use would it be, why would you want me? I’m broken, I wouldn’t even be able to hold your hand, I wouldn’t be able to tell you my feelings, you’d always have to guess and speculate. It wouldn’t be fair to you. Ghezen, these times I wish I would be able to be like others, I—”
The rest of it was too smudged to read, and you lowered the letter slightly, standing up and starting to pace. Your heart was thumping as you stared at the words, they didn’t sound like Kaz at all, and you doubted your eyesight for a moment, wondering if it was someone else’s handwriting instead.
And your name in that kind of letter… did it mean Kaz had feelings for you? After all this time of you believing he had feelings for Inej?
Then it hit you, and your shoulders slumped. He was sketching a letter for Inej, and had accidentally written your name into it. You had seen them together, they had their moments, their own language, heads pressed together in the corner as they shared secrets. It couldn’t be you. Or maybe Kaz had thought about asking for your opinion about the letter draft, a bizarre idea, which is why it had your name.
Then, you suddenly heard the key turning in the lock, and you quickly threw the letter back on the desk to see Kaz coming through the door. He stared at you for a moment, and you dug your pocket before finding your written-out intel, barely being able to hold his gaze. “Van Benschoten is ready to be picked, I found out this morning.”
Kaz narrowed his eyes on you. “What were you doing?”
You swallowed. “Waiting for you. And, uh… I saw my name, and I thought…”
His eyes flickered on the letter on the desk. “Have you always read things that aren’t yours?”
You felt like your heart stopped as you quickly stepped aside, trying to blurt out an apology, but Kaz ignored you, striding over and grabbing the letter, crumpling it into a ball again.
You shook your head. “No, I’m sorry, I thought it had something to do with the job, because it had my name on it. I thought you had left it for me to read.”
He leaned over the desk, throwing the letter into the trashcan before looking at you. “You surely saw it wasn’t about the job once you read the first word. It’s personal, not for you to read.”
You nodded, lowering your gaze to the ground. “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”
He was quiet for a moment, before he looked at the little paper in his hand you had given him and sat down, placing his cane next to him to lean against his desk. “Tell me about Van Benschoten.”
You sat down immediately, starting to spurt out everything you had found out. “He changes up his security arrangements every few days, but he has a secret hatch behind a small hut in the garden. I bet we could get to his treasure chamber from there. Inej agrees, I talked about this with her this morning.”
You continued your explanation, tracing your finger along the blueprint in front of Kaz, and once you had finished, he leaned back. “I will send out Inej to scout ahead. Jesper will handle the guards. Wylan creates the distraction. You… you will guide us to the hatch. You’ve seen it in action, I trust you know how to open it?”
You nodded, clasping your hands behind your back. “I do.”
He stood up, picking up his cane again. “Good. Let’s move.”