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It was raining for way too long, at least in Buckshot’s opinion. That’s why when the Sun came up and didn’t hide behind huge clouds, he was more than happy. Even though he would go for walks anyway, even despite the hardships of the weather, he rarely ever could make Oscar come along. It annoyed him a lot - he knew that his best friend had a huge beef with rain, but walking alone wasn’t as exciting.
But there they were, walking down a hill together. Buck was always a few steps ahead, a big stick in his hand that he used as a staff. He would come back to Oscar whenever he found something interesting - whenever it was a cool rock, flower or even a snail. Every time he was welcomed with a warm smile, or sometimes even something in exchange.
Oscar always found those little ‘gifts’ absolutely adorable. They were like two goblins in love, trading little trinkets and showing each other interesting stuff. He loved it, and so did Colm. For both of them it was a silent way to say ‘I love you’ - the words they never had the courage to say out loud.
They finally found a spot to rest for a little - a small lake they both knew since childhood. They would spend endless hours playing there as kids, smoking stolen cigarettes as teens, and just talking… even now. Oscar sat on a rock, the soles of his shoes barely touching the surface of water, whilst Buck kicked his shoes and sock off and walked right into the pond. He was wading near the shore, picking up lost pieces of colored glass and wood which had been polished by the water.
“This one looks like your eyes,” he spoke suddenly, snapping Oscar right out of his thoughts. He was focused on the way the sun was playing in Colm’s hair, how the breeze messed it up and made the whole scene feel like a fairytale. He blinked a few times and looked down to the rock he had been handed. It, indeed, looked like his eyes.
“It’s pretty.”
His eyes darted up to Buckshot’s face, a playful grin lighting it up. His wet hands soon were fixing Oscar’s hair, awfully blue eyes focused on slightly greener ones.
“Thanks, I guess,” a soft giggle escaped the taller one’s lips, those perfectly pink, plush lips that Buck dreamed of kissing for way too long now…
He quickly scolded himself in his head. He wasn’t supposed to think about him like that… He shouldn’t. He couldn’t.
“If I didn’t know you and got here when on drugs, I’d think you’re a sídhe…” he continued, sitting beside Oscar on the rock. His wet feet were dangling above the water, but he didn’t care - just watched his friend’s cheeks turn pink.
“You’re so fucking dumb, I swear…” he sighed, but a smile appeared on his face. It made Colm giggle. He kicked the taller one’s shoe with his bare sole and rolled his eyes.
“You’re bein’ rude right now, lambkin…” he remarked, wiping his hands on his jean shorts. He looked down at them, contemplating the dirt that was now all over the bright material.
“Don’t call me that…” Oscar’s face and ears got redder and hotter as he heard the nickname. His parents used to call him that until they didn’t, and it stuck with Buck for a while, but eventually it got forgotten by the time they were 17. He wondered why Colm remembered it all of sudden.
He loved being called that, even though he didn’t want to admit it. It made him feel like he was a kid once again. Like his parents still liked him and he would sit on the countertop waiting for the water to boil. Like he didn’t know yet how hard being friends with him supposedly was.
“Why, though? I thought you liked it,” Buckshot’s tone expressed pure confusion. He wasn’t teasing him, he would never do it once he sensed a shift in Oscar’s mood… he just wanted to understand.
“It makes me feel like a kid…”
“Is that such a bad thing?”
He couldn’t answer that. It wasn’t a bad thing… but it wasn’t a good one, either. He both wanted to go back to being a child, and completely erase that period from his head. After all, why remember and long for something that will never come back?
Colm’s hand quickly found its way to his cheek, tilting his head and forcing him to look into those piercing blue eyes of his. They were full of concern and care, the grip firm yet gentle. Why was he so perfect? And why was he so completely out of reach…?
“Come on, answer me… Is it a bad thing?”
“I don’t like going back to my childhood,” Oscar finally spoke, his eyes shifting all around, unable to keep eye contact for longer than a few seconds. Seeing how uncomfortable it was for him, Buck just let go of his face. He hoped it would make him say something more. “My parents were first to call me that and now… now we don’t even speak. I… I like it when you say it, but I don’t like… remembering where it comes from.”
“This sucks. I like calling you that,” he sighed, not even trying to convince him. The topic of Oscar’s family was always a hard one, so he didn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable when they were meant to be having fun.
“I mean… you can. Just… I’ll just have to… get used to it. reconnect it…”
Colm had an idea how to make Oscar think of him, and only him when he calls him that… but he didn’t know whenever he would like it. And he didn’t want to mess things up…
But that day had him feeling bolder than usual. And that’s why he stood up and offered his hand to Oscar, for once looking down at him. His friend was just looking at him a bit dumbfounded, his stupidly long eyelashes fluttering when he blinked as his eyes roamed over Buck’s features.
“Oh, c’mon… Just follow me, okay?” he nagged and as their fingers intertwined, he pulled Oscar up and forwards, a good location already in his mind. The lake they were at wasn’t a real lake, more like a pound… but there was a real lake just about ten minutes away.
“Won’t you put your shoes on?”
He just rolled his eyes at the question. Why did Oscar have to be such a fucking smartass…? It was annoying as hell at times, but also just so… endearing. He knew that some people, including even Sematary, tend to give his poor best friend a hard time over it… but he would never. He just let go of his hand for a moment, grabbed his boots and went back to pulling Oscar towards the lake.
It took them even less than the predicted 10 minutes, and once they were at their destined location, Buckshot made the both of them sit down on the pier. Surprisingly, they were the only people there.
“Why’d you rush us… there?” Oscar seemed not to get it at all, just looked at Buck with his big eyes and it drove him absolutely crazy. But he definitely didn’t want to freak him out, so he kept his urges in check.
“Well, you’ll see lambkin…” he chuckled and wrapped his arms around Oscar’s waist. He was pulled onto Colm’s lap, the shorter one grinning widely at his flustered expression.
“I’m really starting to think that you just… took something and it starts to kick in right now…”
“God forbid I catch a vibe…” he muttered and nuzzled his nose into Oscar’s neck. He smelled like cologne, cigarettes and… home. Buck could feel him shiver from the sensation and it made his smirk widen even more.
“Yeah, s-sure…”
There were no protests or attempts to push him away, so he took it as his lucky chance. Buckshot pulled away and looked into his friend’s eyes, his neck outstretching to the maximum, just to reach Oscar’s mouth.
“I assure you I’m completely sober, lambkin,” he managed to say before closing the distance between their lips. It was a quick yet sweet kiss, enough for them both to feel each other’s warmth, but not enough to satisfy them.
They locked their eyes for a brief moment - Oscar struggling to keep eye contact even more than usual with Colm’s hands still gripping his waist tightly and his gaze unsettlingly piercing. They were both blushing, none of them able to speak for a while.
“W-was this a… a shock therapy o-or are you tryna t-to… to tell me something…?” Oscar’s words were undoubtedly laced with hope, and it brought a smile back to his friend’s face. He didn’t seem to notice it, though, too focused on looking down to his hands that he subconsciously pressed against Colm’s chest.
“Well, the second thing it is…” he said, bringing one of his hands to the taller one’s face, cupping his cheek. Tilting his head, Buck forced their eyes to meet once again. “I love you, lambkin… a-and I hope you…”
“I love you too, Colm…” his voice was soft and quiet, and even though his eyes couldn’t reach Buckshot’s, it was still clear that it was a sincere confession. Especially when he leaned in and kissed him again, their lips locking for a moment. It felt… right. They both knew deep inside that they wasted way too much time on not doing… just that.
“That’s good…” Buck muttered as he felt fingers running through his hair. It has grown longer again and he didn’t have the time to get it cut just yet… but he knew how much Oscar loved it when his hair got this shaggy. He leaned into the touch and almost purred.
“I would never… ever guess you like me… like that,” he sighed and pulled them both into a lying position. He crawled on top of Colm with a soft smile, still feeling quite shy but still knowing that he can be comfortable.
“I’ve liked you like that for years, lambkin…” the shorter one revealed, his hands gripping Oscar’s hips. “Not that I realized it was like, love… when we were still kids. But… I guess it started making sense at some point… You were always on my mind.”
They both blushed - Buckshot from slight embarrassment, and Oscar just from pure affection. He felt… admired, when he felt Buck’s gaze upon him. It was like an old love song. He looked around, and he realized that’s how he always imagined Jim Morrison to feel when he wrote and sang about love. For the first time in his life, he understood why he always thought of Colm whilst listening to Elvis. Why he felt so weirdly connected to Robert Plant when he read about him and Jimmy Page in Bron-Yr-Aur…
He didn’t know what to say, so he just connected their lips once again. They held onto each other with so much longing, so much affection… it was unbelievable how natural it came to them… They spent years cuddling together in the grass, pressing small kisses of dry lips onto each other’s skin, silently convincing themselves it’s just a friendship thing. Brotherly affection, even…
But that term never felt right. Lovers, on the other hand…
“God, we are sinning so badly…” Oscar chuckled, remembering all the bullshit they had to listen to when they still lived with their parents, went to those dumb christian schools and church each Sunday… He hated it.
“Do I look like I give a fuck?” Buck smirked, not bothered by those words in the slightest. He slowly slipped his hands under the taller one’s t-shirt and dug his fingers into his soft skin. “I can count all the freckles on your nose and your eyelashes… that’s how close we are. Do you think I care about some Sky Daddy?”
They both laughed, and Oscar’s body slowly lowered to lay beside Colm. He nuzzled his nose into his neck and sighed. He felt absolutely safe as they glanced up at the blue sky, unbothered by anyone.
“I needa take you on a date now, eh?” Buckshot asked as their hands intertwined. It was something he always wanted to do, but rarely ever had the opportunity. After all, two boys holding hands stopped being cute and innocent after they turned 10. Then it was just a perversion, for some reason…
“Well, you… you don’t have to…”
“I meant it as ‘do you want to go on a date with me?’, not a complaint…”
Oscar blushed. He would have never guessed it, and it made him a bit embarrassed… but he just shrugged and kissed Buck’s cheek.
“Well, then yeah… you do,” he admitted and watched Colm turn the same shade of pink as him from the little peck.
“Cool,” he just muttered at first, but quickly he turned back into the excited lover boy he was just a minute before. “Shit, I can’t believe this. You… you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to take you out…”
A chuckle escaped Oscar’s lips and he shook his head in disbelief. How could they both be so fucking oblivious this whole time? He was annoyed at himself more than ever before, but he sucked it up and just ran his hand down Buck’s chest.
“I can only guess…”
Another gentle kiss connected their lips for a moment. They could, indeed, only guess how deeply their feelings for each other were rooted… but they were eager to learn about it. To finally connect their beds into one. To find another reason to love each other every morning they wake up face to face. To exchange even more silly trinkets and sweet kisses…
Small changes for which they hoped, longed even, their entire lives.