Work Text:
“Don’t be so shy, Sean!” Lyla’s voice sounds through his laptop. “I swear, girls dig it when you tell them you like them. Just own up to it, man.”
“I dunno, Lyla. I’m gonna sound totally lame.”
“Well, yeah, but that’s cute.”
“Ugh.” Sean taps his pen against his notebook, staring at the math problems he should be solving. “I don’t wanna be cute, I want her to think I’m cool. And hot.”
Lyla cracks up. “I hate to break it to you, dude, but that’s never gonna happen.”
“Screw you,” Sean says, mock offended. “You’re supposed to have my back.”
“Why don’t you ask Daniel to be your wingman?”
“Right. Like that’ll convince Jenn I’m cool. Daniel will probably tell her I broke my leg skateboarding once, and then my chances are ruined. Forever.”
Lyla laughs. “Have a little faith in your brother, Sean!”
“In a nine year old? No, thanks.” Sean watches his lava lamp for a few seconds, mesmerized by the bright liquid shaping and reshaping into new globs. Trippy. “Ugh, we should really get to work on these math problems.”
“You know Daniel wants to marry you, right?”
Sean’s head whips back to his laptop. “Ugh, what?”
Lyla cackles. “I’m serious! Remember, like, two weeks ago when I was babysitting him? We watched that action movie, and this dude proposes to his girlfriend after blowing up her office and her evil mastermind dad, which, like… timing, dude? Anyway, I joked to Dan that he better propose to me like that, but he said he was gonna marry you.”
“No way. Last I checked he wants to marry you.”
“No man, he said that I could be his girlfriend, but that he was gonna marry you.” Lyla cracks up again. “So I guess we’ll be in a poly relationship with your brother, dude.”
Sean rolls his eyes. “No, thanks.”
Lyla gasps. “I’m offended. You don’t wanna be—”
The screen goes black.
His lava lamp turns off.
Everything turns off.
Sean blinks in surprise as he looks around.
Outside, the street lamps have gone out too, as have the neighbor’s lights, which means it’s not just them being affected.
“Ugh, great,” Sean mumbles.
Power outage.
It’s only 7 pm, but it’s October, so it's very dark.
He knows it’s only a matter of time before—
Footsteps hurry his way and then his door gets wrenched open. “Sean! Sean, the power’s out!”
Yep.
Before that happens.
“Yeah, no shit Sherlock. The power’s out everywhere.” Sean swivels on his desk chair, but he’s not fast enough. Daniel has already rushed towards him and is clutching his arm like a lifeline.
“When’s it gonna get fixed?”
“I dunno, man. Could be minutes, could be hours.”
Daniel sucks in a breath. “But—But—It’s dark…”
Sean sighs.
He really doesn’t want this to be his problem, but… Dad is at a friend’s birthday dinner so he won’t be home until late, and Sean is technically Daniel’s babysitter now.
Usually, it’s not a hardship.
Daniel is so in love with his PlayBox that he’ll gladly spend all evening on the thing.
Well... He did beg Sean to hang out with him, play a game, watch a movie together, anything really, but Sean said he needed to finish his math homework.
It’s not a lie.
He does need to finish his homework. But he also wants to do other stuff, like Skype Lyla so...
“I’m sure we have candles somewhere.” Sean moves to his feet with a sigh. “Lemme see what I can find.”
He briefly looks through the kitchen cupboards, even though he knows he’s not gonna find anything.
His best bet is the garage, probably.
Daniel clings to him the entire time. If Sean would let him, he’d probably cling to Sean like a backpack, but no way is he gonna carry Daniel.
As expected, the kitchen doesn’t have any candles.
“Alright, lemme check the garage.” Sean opens the door, and Daniel’s hand tightens around his wrist. But he’s not following Sean downstairs.
Sean sighs. “What now? I have to look for candles, dude.”
Daniel’s eyes are huge. Scared. “It’s so dark down there. I d-don’t wanna.”
“Then stay here.”
“Alone?!”
“I’ll only be gone for a minute.”
Daniel starts pouting, his bottom lip trembling slightly, like he’s seconds away from crying, but he lets go of Sean’s wrist.
Sean hurries downstairs, because he doesn’t want to deal with a crying Daniel.
Using the flashlight on his phone, he searches through the shelves until he finds a box with tea lights and one with long tapered candles.
“Sean!” Daniel yells. “Hurry up!”
He sounds like he’s seconds away from being murdered by a monster.
Even though Sean knows it’s not true, he rushes back up the stairs.
Daniel immediately clings to him, burying his face in Sean’s stomach in a sort of half-hug, and fine. Sean isn’t immune to a cute, cuddly little brother.
Especially since it’s been ages since Daniel’s acted like this.
Whenever Sean has friends over—which isn’t, like, often—Daniel usually tries to act all funny and mature, but it only makes him more annoying.
Sean brushes a hand through Daniel’s soft hair. “Hey, it’s okay, enano. I found the candles.”
Using dad’s lighter, he lights a bunch of tea lights, and puts them on the coffee table and kitchen island—far away from anything even remotely flammable.
“There,” he says. If he’s honest, the living room looks kinda cozy now. “That’s better, isn’t it?”
Daniel nervously looks around. “I-I guess.”
Sean gives Daniel’s head one final rub, then heads back to his bedroom.
It sucks that he can’t use his laptop, but it’s not like he really needs it to do his homework. And when he’s done, he could maybe sketch. Or just listen to music.
“You’re leaving?” Daniel squeaks. Hurried footsteps, and then Daniel is clinging to his arm again. “C-Can I stay with you? Until the power’s back?”
“No, man. I told you, I gotta finish my homework.”
“But you were talking to Lyla! I heard you.”
“Yeah, because we were talking about homework.”
“No, you weren’t! You were just blabbing about stupid stuff, like a-about girls…”
Sean frowns. “Were you eavesdropping?”
Daniel quickly steps away, eyes on the floor. “N-No… I can’t help it when you’re talking so loud!”
A pang of annoyance.
“Man. What did I tell you about snooping?”
“I-I’m sorry!” Daniel says immediately. “Please don’t go! It’s still dark, and what if there’s monsters in the basement now? They’ll sneak up on me a-and eat me!”
Okay, fuck.
Goodbye chill evening.
Sean sighs. “Aren’t you a little too old to be scared of the dark?”
Daniel’s little face goes indignant. “Fine.” He stomps away to the couch. “If I get eaten, I’ll tell dad it’s your fault.”
Sean snorts. “If you get eaten, you won’t be able to tell dad it was my fault, dude.”
Oh, that makes Daniel even angrier. “He’d know anyway!” he yells, lifting his knees up and wrapping his arms around his legs. “Ugh, you’re so stupid.”
He looks so small on the couch, surrounded by the candle light and the dancing shadows on the wall, that Sean feels kinda bad.
Because it’s not like he hates his brother.
Daniel can just be a lot.
And he’s a brat—so were you, dad’s voice rings in his ears, and ugh, fine.
“Okay, okay,” Sean says, walking towards the couch. “I don’t wanna do my homework anyway. Let’s play a board game.”
Daniel doesn’t move.
He still looks pissed, but Sean can tell from the way his brother twitched at the word board game that he’s interested. He also knows exactly which board game Daniel likes the most, so he wanders over to their collection and hums. “Hm, what to play… We could do Pirate Capers.” Silence. “Or we could play Catan—”
“Let’s do Pirate Capers,” Daniel blurts out, then quickly snaps his mouth shut again.
Sean grins.
Man, his little brother is so easy sometimes.
“Sure,” he says, like he’s doing Daniel a favor.
They clear the coffee table, aside from the tea lights of course, then lay out the game.
Daniel’s pout is replaced by an excited smile as they play, and Sean is surprised to find he’s enjoying himself too. He kinda forgot that it can be fun to hang out with Daniel.
Sometimes.
Also, it’s fucking impressive how the little kid keeps winning.
“How are you so good at this game?” Sean groans, as he loses yet another one of his ships. “I swear, if I find out you’re cheating…”
Daniel giggles. “Don’t be a sore loser.”
The last two rounds of the game are tough.
Sean really tries to win, but Daniel is just freakishly good, and ends up annihilating his final ship.
“Yesss!” Daniel exclaims, striking a victory pose. “I win!”
“Ugh, and by a landslide too.”
Sean starts picking up the scattered pieces, because he knows Daniel will want to play another round.
He always does.
Once is never enough; there always has to be another round, another chock-o-crisp, another minute.
Daniel grins. “It’s not my fault you suck.”
Sean rolls his eyes. “Hey, is that any way to talk to your future husband?”
Daniel’s face goes red.
His eyes grow comically large and his mouth falls open, looking like he just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
“I-I—” Daniel stammers. “Who told you?!”
Oh, shit.
Turns out Lyla was right and Daniel does want to marry him.
That’s cute.
With a smirk, Sean leans closer. “Maybe no one did. Maybe I want to marry you too.”
Daniel inhales so sharply it almost sounds like a little gasp. “Really?” he whispers.
Sean snorts. “Sorry dude, but I’m into girls.”
Is he, though?
What about that time he jerked off and accidentally thought about that skateboarder dude who sometimes hangs out with them at the skatepark? What about the boner he got when he accidentally saw Jesse naked? What about—
Accidents, his mind says firmly. Those were just accidents.
Daniel’s face falls. “... Oh.”
He sounds kinda hurt, which makes Sean feel bad, so he suggests they play another round.
It does cheer Daniel up a bit.
Until he suddenly asks, “But why can’t we marry? Don’t you love me?”
Sean puts down the little boat he was just about to sail into deeper waters. “Yeah, but marriage is about more than that, dude. People usually get married because they’re in love.”
“What’s the difference?”
Sean sees a flowerfield filled with birds and bees in the horizon, which, no thanks.
Maybe if he plays this smart, they’ll be able to walk around it.
“Well, people who are in love usually want to kiss and stuff. Is that what you want?”
Daniel’s eyes are huge as he stares at Sean.
It’s clear he’s thinking about the question.
Sean waits patiently for Daniel’s face to twist in disgust, but instead…
“Like on the cheek?”
“No, on the mouth.” Sean decides to make it even grosser. “With tongue.”
As predicted, Daniel pulls a face. “Ew, why?”
“Because it feels nice.”
“Have you kissed someone on the mouth?”
“Yeah, last year. At a party.”
Daniel looks at him like he just confessed he ate a live worm.
It’s funny, so Sean laughs.
“You’ll probably get it when you’re older,” he says.
“I dunno,” Daniel mumbles, then turns his attention back to the board game.
Sean sighs with relief.
Great.
No birds and bees talk.
They play a couple of rounds, and it becomes clear that Daniel is winning again.
Seriously, the kid must be cheating.
“So was mom not in love with dad anymore?”
Sean blinks in surprise.
He looks up, but Daniel is staring intently at the board; probably because he knows Karen is a taboo topic in the house.
And with good reason.
She left them behind, so why should she still have a place here?
“I dunno,” Sean mutters angrily. “Probably.”
“Oh.”
It’s Daniel’s turn, but he doesn’t move.
Just stares at the board in thought.
Then he says, “Maybe it’s better to marry someone you’re not in love with, because then you can never fall out of love. Right?”
Technically true, but.
A bit depressing.
“I guess,” Sean murmurs.
“So then we can get married, right?”
Sean looks up to see that Daniel’s cheeks are slightly flushed.
It’s adorable.
And while it’s technically illegal to marry your sibling, Sean knows what Daniel really wants is for them to be together forever, for Sean to never leave.
It’s a little surprising.
Sean thought he was the only one with abandonment issues.
“Yeah, enano,” he says. “I guess we can.”
When it’s time for bed, Daniel starts fidgeting.
Sean gives him time to voice what’s wrong while he blows out all the candles, one by one, watching the smoke curl in the air and absent-mindedly wondering how he’d draw smoke.
Maybe he could draw a dragon who’s just breathed fire, leaving beautiful but devastating destruction in its wake.
“Sean?”
Ah, there it is.
“What’s up?” Sean asks, before picking up the final tea light and taking it with him to the hallway.
He hears Daniel follow closely behind.
Wait, is he actually holding onto the back of Sean’s shirt?
“N-Nothing.”
Sean looks over his shoulder, and yep.
Daniel is holding his shirt between his thumb and index finger.
Cute.
“Alright.” Sean ruffles Daniel’s hair. “Time for bed. And don’t forget to brush your teeth.”
Daniel swallows, then nods.
Reluctantly, he lets go of Sean’s shirt and heads into his room.
Hm.
Wonder what he wanted to ask.
The house is still dark.
Feels more appropriate now that Sean’s lying in bed, almost ready to sleep. He just wants to finish the rough sketch of a fire-breathing dragon first.
Suddenly, footsteps thunder through the house. Barely a second later, Sean’s door swings open, revealing a panting Daniel with wide eyes.
Sean sits up. “Everything okay?”
“I—” Daniel quickly looks over his shoulder, like he’s being chased by a horrible monster.
Sean raises an eyebrow.
“Can I stay with you?” Daniel blurts out, hopping from his left leg to his right.
Honestly, Sean should’ve expected this.
He just thought that since he heard Daniel brush his teeth, humming that annoying song that’s been stuck in his brother’s head for days—and therefore also in Sean’s and dad’s—that he’d be fine.
Then again, Daniel is only nine years old.
Of course he still believes in monsters under the bed.
Sean quietly mourns his routine fap before sleeping, then says, “Sure.”
Daniel rushes towards his side, jumping on the bed and burying his face in Sean’s shoulder. He starts talking really quickly. “It was super dark and I heard something outside and I was worried it was a monster who wanted to eat me.”
“Like any monster would. You’re too skinny.” Sean starts pinching Daniel’s sides, and Daniel squeals with laughter. “No fat on these bones.”
“No, Sean, stop it!” Daniel laughs.
Sean stops.
Because of their roughhousing, his dragon sketch has fluttered to the floor. He reaches for it, but it’s all crumpled.
Well, whatever. Plenty of time to redraw it later.
Sean puts the rest of his pencils away, then gets into bed, taking care that he’s not hogging the blankets and leaving Daniel out in the cold.
It’s a bit of a tight fit, but Daniel is still small enough that they comfortably fit.
Especially since Daniel has plastered himself against Sean’s side, small hands twisted into Sean’s shirt.
“Are you still scared?”
“Just a little,” Daniel mumbles. His head is pillowed on Sean’s chest, high enough that his hair tickles Sean’s chin. “But I feel safer with you.”
“Good.” Sean wraps an arm around Daniel’s waist. “Because I’ll protect you against any monsters.”
Daniel lets out a deep, content sigh. “Thanks, big brother.”
They fall silent.
The house is still dark, as is the street, as is the entire block.
No power also means no heating, but since it’s only the start of October, the cold isn't that bad yet. Especially when they’re cuddled this close.
Daniel is a little furnace.
Subconsciously, Sean listens to the soft inhale and exhale of Daniel’s breathing, and it’s better than the white noise he sometimes listens to to fall asleep.
Slowly, he starts drifting off…
“Sean?”
Aaaand Sean’s awake again.
Don’t get annoyed.
He’s just scared.
“Yeah?” Sean asks.
“Are you scared of anything?”
“Nah. Not really.”
“Really?”
Well…
Sure, there’s things that make Sean’s anxiety flare, like asking Jenn out, like failing school and not getting a decent job, like never figuring out what he wants to do with his life.
But Daniel’s talking about monsters under his bed and sharks in the water.
And maybe Sean had been scared of those once, but when Karen left she’d taken those fears with her, replaced them with something bigger.
Because, sometimes, Sean is scared that dad will leave.
Sometimes, he gets nightmares that dad will realize he’s too much work, that he’ll bail on him the way Karen did, and the thought makes Sean want to crawl into a hole and die.
Daniel props himself up on his elbow and looks at Sean.
His face is close.
His toothpaste breath wafts over Sean’s face, and it’s enough to snap Sean out of his thoughts.
“Yeah, really,” he rasps. “I’m not scared of anything.”
Daniel hums.
For a second, it looks like he’s not gonna believe him. But then he lies back down, his head on Sean’s chest. “Must be nice,” he mumbles.
“It is,” Sean lies. He rubs Daniel’s back. “Now go to sleep, enano.”
“Okay, Sean.” Daniel lets out a jaw-cracking yawn, and it reminds Sean of a video he’d seen once, where a kitten had yawned so hard it’d almost fallen over. “Good night.”
In a rare display of affection, Sean presses a kiss to Daniel’s forehead. “Good night, Daniel.”
They sleep outside, underneath a bridge.
The stone is cold and wet and hard.
The only bright light is literally bright, because a street lamp is not too far away.
Daniel shivers in his thin and torn shirt, so Sean wraps himself around his brother as best as he can.
“Are you sure we’re safe here?” Daniel whispers. “What if there’s monsters out there who want to eat us?”
There are, there are, there are.
Sean swallows back his grief. “Don’t worry about it,” he says, but his voice sounds strained from the effort of keeping up appearances.
“But what if—”
“Daniel, ask me if I’m scared.”
“Okay. Are you scared, Sean?”
“I’m not scared,” Sean lies. “Because I’m not gonna let any monsters get you.” They won’t separate them. They won’t. “Are you?”
“Y-Yeah,” Daniel admits. “But I feel safer with you.”
Sean tightens his arms around his little brother, and waits for him to fall asleep before he cries.
It becomes a thing they sometimes do.
Whenever it’s a lot.
As they get blisters on their blisters, as every step becomes painful, as every breath grows ragged, they ask each other if they’re scared.
Sean always makes himself say no, even though he is.
He’s scared of the cops finding them, he’s scared of them being separated, he’s scared of Daniel getting hurt, he’s scared of making a mistake, he’s scared of the next day, and the next, and the next.
But since Daniel always answers yes, he forces himself to say no.
I’m not scared of anything.
After the motel room, in the bus, Daniel asks if he’s a monster, and Sean says he’s not. That he’s different.
It seems to soothe Daniel, because he falls silent.
Through the window, they watch the world pass by together.
“Sean?” Daniel asks, after maybe five minutes have passed. “Are you scared of me?”
After Daniel’s insistence that he shouldn’t lie, ever again, Sean gives the question some serious thought.
He stares into the bus, at the empty seats, then stares out the window, at the endless ocean.
Then he looks at Daniel.
Listens to his soft inhales and exhales.
“No,” he says, and means it.
Daniel doesn’t ask that specific question again.
Even as they train in the freezing cold, as they watch his power grow, as they watch him surpass their own expectations quicker and quicker, Daniel never once asks are you scared of me.
The answer would’ve been no anyway.
Sean is scared of Daniel’s cough, of not having enough food, of getting found by the cops and separated.
He isn’t scared of this.
Sean shoves Daniel behind him and faces the puma.
Maybe it’s because he’s said I’m not scared so many times that he’s tricked himself into believing it’s true.
Or maybe he’s simply more scared of losing Daniel.
There’s no reason to ask are you scared when they’re at their grandparents, because everything is warm and fuzzy and their bellies are always full.
So of course it couldn’t last.
To Sean’s surprise, Daniel isn’t scared of the fast-moving trains.
He loves them.
It’s a relief.
But when Sean grabs his brother’s hand and asks, “Are you scared?”
Daniel still says, “Yeah.” He stares at the snow-covered trees rushing past them. “What are we gonna do now? Where are we gonna sleep?”
Yeah, Sean is scared of the same things.
Scared that the cough will return, scared that they’ll get caught, scared they’ll be separated.
But he still says, “Ask me.”
Daniel turns to look at him. “Are you scared?”
“No,” Sean says, because if that’s what Daniel needs, the won’t be. “I’m not scared.”
Daniel asks him if he’s scared a lot as they travel from place to place, from shitty job to shitty job. And it makes sense.
The impermanence is scary.
The people who offer him jobs are, more often than not, scary.
But when Sean sees Daniel safe and fed and with him, he somehow finds enough strength to say he’s not scared.
Daniel doesn’t ask the question anymore in Humboldt.
He doesn’t ask any questions, except, “When are we leaving?”
Which is fine with Sean, because there’s nothing to be scared of in Humboldt.
Life is good.
He’s strangely happy.
For the first time, he doesn’t miss home. He’s just glad that they’re finally working towards their goal, that they’re making cash, that he’s among these cool, like-minded people.
Like Finn…
Sean’s heart is pounding as water spills over the shore, swallowing the pebbles, the grass, the shrubs, everything.
Huge waves spread through the lake, like the world was just shaken by an earthquake.
Except it wasn’t.
Finally, finally, Daniel talks about his anger.
About his power.
The two seem linked, though Daniel insists he has it under control.
“Sean?” Daniel asks, staring at a patch on Sean’s hoodie. “Are you scared of me?”
Sean remembers the enormous tree trunk and the devastating ripples left in its wake.
It’s easy to focus on that.
The way the lake, the world, had seemed changed beyond repair for what felt like hours.
But then he remembers Daniel’s face.
The tears.
“No,” he says, and still means it. “I’m not scared.”
Daniel breathes a sigh of relief.
His hand spasms, like he wants to reach for Sean, but then he drops it again.
“Are you?” Sean asks.
Daniel looks at him for so long that Sean worries he won’t answer. Then he says, “Yeah.”
He sounds tired.
Finn asks him what he's afraid of, and the question jolts Sean, because it's an echo of their question, yet still different.
He says “Nothing,” even though he's scared of messing this up, of not finding another job, of not making it to Mexico.
But he's not scared of kissing a boy, not anymore, not after everything they’ve been through, so he leans in.
He’s in the hospital, alone, and he’s scared, he’s scared, he’s scared.
Where is Daniel?
Why can no one find him?
He gets beaten and then he gets picked up and then he gets confused and then he gets taken to Daniel and then he gets rejected.
Nothing has ever been as scary as hearing Daniel say, no. I wanna stay.
Karen isn’t scary.
Her wanting to reconnect isn’t scary.
Fucking annoying, but.
If it’ll help him get Daniel back, he’ll do it. He’ll accept her help and ask the difficult questions, and even finds himself surprised when she answers truthfully.
When she's honest.
Because that’s… kinda scary.
As Nicholas beats him until his ears are ringing, until his vision is blurring, until he can barely breathe because of the pain, Sean asks himself if he’s scared.
Am I scared of dying?
There’s no time to think about it, no time to find the right answer, because Daniel is scared, and Sean needs to get him back.
They’re lying entangled on a motel room bed.
They’ve washed the smoke from their skin, yet Sean can’t help but tiredly kiss the top of Daniel’s head, again and again, like a wolf licking the wounds of their little cub clean.
He hears Daniel mumble I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry over and over like a prayer, and if Sean wasn’t so achingly tired, he might’ve said stop that.
Instead he tightens his arms around Daniel and falls asleep.
He wakes up scared.
The room is dark and Daniel is—
Here.
Daniel is still in his arms, sleeping soundly.
It’s maybe a couple of hours later.
Sean buries his nose in Daniel’s hair, ignoring the stupid haircut, and breathes in.
Daniel stirs awake, and his small hands twist into the front of Sean’s shirt. “Sean,” he breathes.
“Little cub,” Sean murmurs, rubbing Daniel’s back.
Daniel breathes out a sigh of relief. “How do you feel?”
Well.
Everything hurts.
He can blame Nicholas for a lot of things, but not for holding back when he was hitting Sean.
“Rough,” Sean admits.
“I’m sorry,” Daniel repeats.
“Don’t be, enano. I’m fine.”
“Are you… scared?”
Stupidly enough, Sean feels tears well in his eye.
He just… thought he’d never hear the question again.
“No,” he says, even though he’s scared Daniel will regret killing Lisbeth, scared the cops will somehow trace the murder back to them, scared that, when Daniel properly meets Karen tomorrow, he’ll love her so much he'll leave Sean behind. “I’m not scared. Are you?”
“Yeah,” Daniel whispers. His voice is trembling. Probably because he’s crying. “I’m scared you’ll die.”
It’s a valid concern, and Sean doesn’t want to wave it away.
Not after all the deaths they’ve already encountered.
Instead, he brushes Daniel’s hair away and presses a kiss to his forehead.
Away is peaceful.
Which helps, because Daniel is anything but peaceful.
He feels guilty.
All the time.
It’s understandable, but after repeatedly telling Daniel it’s not his fault, it doesn’t hurt, and most importantly, that Sean doesn’t blame him, it’s slightly frustrating when Daniel still wakes up from horrible nightmares.
Sean is grasping at straws.
So they have a sleepover in the canyon.
And it helps.
They watch the stars.
They talk.
They laugh, especially when Daniel misses the only falling star because he was taking a piss.
It’s wonderful.
Sean wonders if he’s finally not scared anymore, at least not for now, not if he ignores that they haven’t made it to Mexico yet, but then they go to sleep and Daniel gives him a goodnight kiss.
On the lips.
It’s chaste, a peck really, but it’s also something they’ve never done before, which is why Sean asks, “Uh, what was that?”
Daniel flushes. “A kiss.”
Sean gets transported back to months ago, when all he’d been scared of was telling a girl he liked her, and when all Daniel was scared of was monsters under the bed.
He’d said, People who are in love usually want to kiss and stuff. Is that what you want?
And Daniel had asked, Like on the cheek?
No, Sean had said. On the mouth.
He sits up. “Daniel…”
“What?” Daniel asks defiantly. “It’s just a kiss.”
“Yeah, on the mouth. Brothers don’t do that, dude.”
“But you said it was fine for people who are married!”
Sean snorts. “Sorry, but I don’t remember you asking for my hand. Besides, we’re family. It’s different.”
Daniel huffs. “People who are married become a family, and we’re a family, so what does it matter? You said we can make our own rules anyway.”
Sean opens his mouth. He’s ready to argue, until he realizes this trip was an effort to make Daniel feel better.
Making Daniel feel like crap about his childish crush is not the way to go.
They’ll talk about this later.
“Fine,” Sean huffs. Then he lies back down. “Let’s just go to sleep.”
“Okay.” With a smile, Daniel snuggles close, his head on Sean’s chest. Then he says, “Sean? Are you scared?”
It takes a little effort to say, “No. I’m not.”
Because Sean’s mouth still tingles from Daniel’s kiss, and he’s scared that it’s not a childish crush. He’s scared that he fucked up his brother beyond repair, that they’ll never be normal again, that they won’t make it to Mexico after all.
He clears his throat. “Are you?”
Daniel hesitates for a second. Then he says, “Yeah, a little. I’m scared we won’t make it to Mexico after all.”
Sean tightens his arm around his little brother. “We will.”
Daniel is shot, Daniel is gone, and no one will tell him if Daniel’s okay.
Sean is so scared he’s shaking, so scared he wants to throw up, but then an officer comes to pick him up. He gets taken to a depressing room with a camera pointing straight at his face, and Sean stares at the handcuff on his wrist and feels another stab of panic.
Is this it?
He hasn’t seen Daniel for hours and he doesn’t know if he’s okay and he’s all alone and scared.
So scared.
The monsters under the bed might not be real, but the officer in front of him—and everything he stands for, which is supposedly justice —is.
Except Sean is not alone.
The door swings open, revealing a panting and angry Daniel, who doesn’t look nervously over his shoulder, but instead strides towards Sean and breaks his handcuffs, not even sparing a single look to the officer lying broken on the floor.
Sean asks himself if that’s scary.
Not really.
Is he scared?
No.
Should he be scared?
Probably.
Dozens of police cars stand between them and freedom.
It’s not a dragon or a monster, but it feels like it, which is how Sean knows what needs to happen; after all, he’s read the books, seen the movies, heard the stories.
How do the heroes— are they really, though —win?
They defeat the monster standing in their way.
But fuck.
To ask that of Daniel…
Sean lets his head fall against the steering wheel.
His hands are shaking so he drops them on his lap, in the hopes of hiding how scared he is. But Daniel isn’t a little kid anymore. He can’t be so easily fooled.
“Are you scared?”
Sean almost wants to laugh at the question.
Because how can anyone not be scared in this situation? If he fucks this up, it’s over. End of the road. Maybe even for good.
Sean swallows, then finally admits, “Yeah. I’m scared.”
Always have been.
Daniel is silent.
Sean knows what he needs to ask, but it still takes him a couple of seconds before he can make himself say the words.
Because it feels like he's asking something different.
“Are you scared?” he whispers.
When he doesn’t get an immediate reply, he looks over and is surprised to find Daniel steadily gazing back at him.
And for the first time in months, years, maybe in forever, Daniel says, “No.”
Then he gets out of the car.