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I scream, not caring if anyone hears me.
That's it, this time, I'm definitely leaving the MOTHs!
I ran around the building without a care, the only thing on my mind being Kalpas' angry roars, how could he be so mean to me? No... How could I be so stupid as to assume him and me were "friends" in the first place? I got a liking to him because we were both sticking out like sore thumbs, but he most likely didn't feel the same...
Gods, whatever, it doesn't matter, I'm sick of this place, of these fights, I'm tired.
"AAAAAAAGHHHHH!!!" Letting out another cry I punched the nearby wall, my mood was quickly alternating between sad and angry, this isn't good, I can feel my mind getting out of control again, I need to- I need to- Die.
No- What I mean, I mean, as for it, I mean- I mean- Uuuugghhhhhhh...
The tears streaming down my face didn't stop, couldn't stop, didn't want to stop, I was so pitiful, if any normal person saw me right now they'd never guess I was a MANTIS fighting to save humanity, what a sick joke. I never wanted to fight in the first place, it's just-
"What's wrong?"
Hearing someone call out to me, my train of thought crashed.
That's... Who is this? I know this voice but, I can't think right now, and my eyes are too watery.
I quickly wipe out my tears and try to focus, the figure in front of me is... Kevin Kaslana...?
This was surprising for a lot of reasons, but looking at his expressionless, cold gaze I realized that he was probably just passing by, I guess I'm in the way.
"Ah, uh, sorry I just, I'll go over there..."
Awkwardly I moved to the side and crouched down, how embarrassing, to be seen like this by the great Kevin of all people, he's probably thinking I don't belong here at all.
"I asked you what's wrong."
Staring at me like I was the single most pathetic being in the world (which, I probably was), he repeated his question, not a hint of emotion in his voice.
This was weird, why is he asking me this? Ah! I get it now, he's probably wondering why a big scary MANTIS is sobbing in the halls, looking for a good excuse to fire me. Or something.
"It's nothing important, leave me alone."
Sure that he was done with me, I buried my head in my legs ready to continue being miserable.
After a few seconds, I felt his presence move closer, sitting next to me.
"If you're crying over it, I'm sure it's something important."
Wha- Why's he so persistent???
I turned to look at him, he still seemed bored at best, does he have nothing better to do with his time? Really?
"What's it to you!? Fine, look I- I just,,, I had a fight with Kalpas- Not like, a violent fight, but he yelled at me and- It... It scared me... Okay? We both know how he gets when he's angry, he could probably wipe the floor with me so, um, and, he's my only friend here and... Oh who cares! That's it. Will you fire me now? Hell if I care! Do it!"
On second thought, I should probably talk better to the single most important person here, but I definitely didn't care enough at the moment.
"Fire you...?" Kevin tilted his head in... Confusion? Then he reached out a hand. "Are you okay? He didn't harm you, right?"
"No..." I wasn't sure which question I was answering, I was even wondering if I was having hallucinations this time, why else would Kevin Kaslana worry for my wellbeing well past midnight?
Maybe he-
"Tell me about it."
"Huh?"
"What happened between you and Kalpas?"
"... Why do you care?"
No matter what I assumed, I just couldn't figure it out, why?
"You're one of my comrades, of course I care about you, is that odd?"
WHAT? HUH? WHAT DID HE JUST... SAY!?
"Huh?? Um, um, yes, it is."
I was utterly flabbergasted.
"I see..."
Kevin let out a cold sigh, closing his eyes for a moment.
"Well um, it's nothing important... I guess it's not THAT weird for a great hero such as you to care about some person lowkey having a panic attack right next to your salad but, really, it's nothing at all."
Somehow, me saying that made me cry more, I guess even though I'm aware it's nothing important, it still hurt me, and no matter how much I try to downplay it, my body tells another tale, how pathetic...
Kevin raised a finger and touched my tears, which I quickly felt turning solid, dropping on the floor with a small sound.
What nice coolness, it felt refreshing on my strained skin, I kind of wanted him to touch my eyelids, I wonder if that'd be dangerous?
"If it's nothing, then why are you in such pain?"
... I guess... I could talk to him... For a little while.
"Well... You might have noticed, but I'm quite the loner here, everyone- well- mostly everyone has someone to be buddy-buddy with, but I'm not one of them. I often worry that others look down on me, talk about me behind my back... But, Kalpas was different, I felt like we could understand each other to some extent, that's why I approach him now and then, but this time, I guess I got too comfortable... You probably think I'm crazy, trying to befriend Kalpas of all people, but I really thought he wasn't a bad guy, just a little... Angry?"
Oh what am I saying... Of course he'd yell at me sooner or later, what WAS I THINKING!?
"I see, hmm..."
"So uh, there you have it, more or less. I'm sorry if you expected some grand "my best friend died fighting the honkai" reason or something, which would make way more sense, considering we're supposed to be an organization fighting the honkai, but no, I'm just a-"
Suddenly with a "Shhh." Kevin covered my mouth for a bit.
"Don't say that. Stop dismissing your feelings."
"Uh..."
"Crying because you fought with your friend, that's a perfectly valid thing to do."
I... Guess?
"True but... I mean... We're elite soldiers and, you know..."
"We're human beings."
For some reason, I felt my cheeks heat up.
"We're... Humans..."
He says that, even though we have honkai genes in us...
"Humans cry. I cry, too. It's nothing to be ashamed of."
Kevin... Cries?
"But... Okay but! I- Kevin you, you're a hero! Don't drag yourself down to my level, I'm a nobody, I honestly don't even understand why you're trying to comfort me!"
At least, that's what it seems like... Am I seeing things?
He looked away from me for a while, then started talking.
"True, I'm a hero, a hero is supposed to help others. What kind of hero would I be, if I ignored someone crying? There aren't humans more worthy of helping than others, a person's problems aren't meant to be compared and judged, which do you think should be saved- an important man or a homeless child?"
"Um... I'm... Not sure."
"Exactly. You're every bit as important as any, your reason for being hurt isn't less important than, for example, a wife that lost her husband."
I- I don't think that's how it works... Is that just a hero's mindset?
"Kevin I... I don't know..."
"We live in an era of war, and most of humanity has been eradicated, this is wearing down everyone's mental state, anything can tip you over the edge, naturally."
I mean... True... I don't know why but, even if I have a few doubts, I feel a lot better.
"Well... If the great Kevin Kaslana says it's fine, then I guess it's fine!..?"
I could SWEAR I saw him smile a little, are my eyes still blurry?
"Right. Are you feeling better now?"
"Yes! Thank you so much."
I wasn't sure what to do so I awkwardly shook his hand, ah, how cold. He must be great at summer.
"Good to know."
He barely changed expressions ever since he arrived but... Why is it that he looks so much... Less scary than before?
"You know, you're not as bad as I thought." I said while getting up.
He just looked at me, as expressionless as ever.
I then realized that was probably a mean thing to say.
"Ah, it's a good thing, it is, you're a good man Kevin!"
He got up and adjusted his clothes.
"I just did what I thought right. However, if you're ever in need of an ear, you can come to me. You know where to find me."
"Ahh, are you sure? Aren't you a super busy man or..."
"It's fine. As long as we're not on the battlefield."
WELL OF COURSE-
"Thank you... Really..."
I rubbed my hands, as I wasn't sure what else to do.
"Well if you're alright now, I'll be returning to my room."
"Sure... Wait."
Did he seriously come here because he just heard my screams? Oh man...
"What?"
"Oh- Nothing umm... Hey. Actually, wanna have some tea?"
He looked at the time.
"It's... Four-"
"Oh it's fine! That's the best part. We can also talk about, I dunno, you or something."
Letting out a small sigh, he imitated a small smile.
"Sure."
He's talkative where it matters.