Chapter Text
Silence. That was all that filled the room as he sat peacefully and allowed it to envelop him as he meditated in his room. Just as Antauri was about to slip into his inner world for a few hours, a soft melodic voice filled the hallway just outside the door. It was enough to snap him out of it and pique the monkey’s curiosity. Quietly, he followed the sweet feminine voice followed by the occasional soft chime of bells being rung.
“Me wo tojite omoi dasu
Sugisarishi ano koro wo
Modorenai kaerenai
Hirogatta fukai yami.”
He didn’t recognize what was being said, but he did recognize who’d sung it as he couldn’t help but smirk to himself and mumble, “Miyuki.” She was one of the team’s newest members; a small timid snow monkey who was quite the little mystery as she tended to keep to herself and seldom ever spoke. In fact ever since she’d arrived, Miyuki had quickly sequestered herself into a darkened space of the super robot and claimed it for her own; so as far as the team had been concerned, she was like a little ghost that haunted the robot. A sweet friendly little ghost who would leave them treats by their bedsides for them to find in the morning.
As Antauri continued to follow her voice, her song seemed to grow more intense, almost like it encouraged anyone who heard it to push forward in spite of the odds.
“Modorenai kaerenai
Hirogatta fukai yami
Nakitaku naru youna yasashii oto
Don'nani kurushikute mo
Mae e (Mae e) mae e (Mae e) susume (Susume)
Zetsubou tachi.”
Finally, he’d found it; Miyuki’s little hide away. It was a small room tucked off in the corner where the bedrooms were, one that even the monkey team had forgotten about. But Miyuki seemed to happily make use of it, especially now as she moved in a wild balletic motion in a whirl of twists and spins, like snow on a windy day as her voice filled the air and was joined by the subtle chimes of the bells on the short staff she held tightly in her tail. Even the clothes on her little body seemed to flow smoothly.
‘How had she managed to not trip yet? It’s rather impressive if I do say so myself.’ Antauri mused as he took note of how baggy her pants seemed to almost swallow her small figure. As he leaned against the door frame and stroked his chin in thought, Antauri couldn’t help but turn his attention to the little stone statue that sat on the nightstand in front of her. It wasn’t much, just a small stone monkey that sat cross legged with a red cape tied around its neck and small circlet on its head as it balanced a staff on its arms with its hands folded together in prayer. With his curiosity fully piqued, he quietly levitated the small statue towards him for a better look. What he hadn’t accounted for though, was just how fast Miyuki’s movements were as she suddenly collided with the statue. He watched as she clutched the side of her head and softly whimpered, “ow…”
After he’d realized what he’d done, Antauri raced over to check on her. “Miyuki! Are you alright? I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize -“ he watched as the little snow monkey’s big blue eyes grew wide as she swallowed audibly when it finally hit what had happened. Miyuki hummed anxiously for a moment as she gathered her words.
“Uh uhm h…how much o…o…of that-that did… did you… you see?” Her entire face went from a shade of white to a soft pink in a hurry as a light blush dusted her face and swallowed again, it felt like someone had forced her to eat cinnamon and now swallowing was a chore. Antauri could feel his own face heat up as he cleared his throat to speak.
“All of it actually, you’re a lovely dancer and singer.” He watched as her eyes got even bigger and she began to wring the staff nervously in her hands. Miyuki’s voice was hardly above a whisper as she spoke,
“You.. you … you weren…weren’t… Gggrr you weren’t supposed to see it yet!” She finally blurted out in frustration as tears streamed down her face and stained her pristine white fur. Antauri was taken aback slightly by the outburst as he stood frozen and tried to process the situation.
“And why is that?”
Miyuki bit her lip hard enough to make it bleed as the sound of the bell’s chimes became almost obnoxious as she wrung the small staff in her hands. Antauri quickly wrapped his hands around hers in an effort to calm the anxious simian. “Miyuki, breath. Inhale deeply and hold it for a few seconds, then let the breath out slowly.” He demonstrated for her and soon the pair began to take deep, slow breaths. It seemed to work as Miyuki lowered her hands and sighed deeply, her gaze fixed on the floor as she stood quietly. Her mind felt blank, quiet, like it struggled to find and take hold of a thought that would be enough to explain the situation.
“I… It’s not …not perfected.” She finally stammered out and took another audible swallow as she tried to speak. “It… it has to be… be per…perfect. Before new years.” Miyuki panted, after getting the explanation out. Antauri could feel as she twisted the staff in her hands and held them a little tighter to keep her from going overboard again.
“But why? You’re a graceful dancer and a charming singer. I don’t see -“
“Because if it’s not perfect… If it’s not perfect…” Miyuki could feel her jaw become tight that it hurt as she ground her teeth together, before once again blurting out, “sore ga kanpekidenai to, kamisama wa fuman o daki, watashi no sasagemono ga bujokudearu to kanjiru kamo shiremasen!” Now it was Antauri’s turn to sigh, he didn’t catch a word of what she’d said. His mind shifted and went through most of the Japanese he knew to see if maybe he could understand or piece together some idea of what she was on about.
Kamisama.
At that his eyes snapped open, as it dawned on him why this was being done at least. “And why does it need to be perfect for the gods?”
“Because … Becuase if it’s not, they’ll… they’ll be displeased, and… and I can’t lose anyone …. Anyone else!” Miyuki finally looked up at him with her big deep blue tearful eyes as she whimpered, “I … I just …I can’t.” Antauri reached up and cupped her cheek gently, feeling as she flinched against his touch.
“We’re not going anywhere.”
“You don’t know that!”
He stood quietly and wiped away her tears, he could feel her petite form tremble as she tried to bite back the tears and swallow them. A stone felt like it’d been placed in his chest and weighed him down into the pits of Shuggazoom as he watched her struggle to not cry; it was an odd sensation and one he wasn’t familiar with, all he knew is that he hated to see this usually reclusive little monkey in front of him weep. “Come, why don’t you change out of this and we’ll step outside for some fresh air, it should be dark by now.” He watched as she took a shaky breath and moved from his firm hold, only to stop her for a moment and hold her hands a little tighter to keep the petite snow monkey from slipping away.
“Antauri?” He snapped his head up at the sound of Miyuki’s honeyed voice. “I can’t … It’s hard to uhm …”
“Oh, yes, my apologies.” He quickly let her go and watched as she vanished into the darkness of the room. Suddenly the room felt oddly empty as he stood and waited for her to come back, it was like he was the last person left on Shuggazoom. Antauri quickly shook it off and pushed the odd emotion aside. “Something must be wrong.” He muttered and moved to wait outside of the room.
…
A few minutes later, Miyuki emerged wrapped in her blue cloak as she tugged the hood firmly over her head and pulled the white mask around her mouth. Antauri couldn’t help but hum softly at the sight, now as he looked into those large blue sorrowful eyes as that heaviness set in again in his chest. Why had he begun to feel this way all of a sudden? “You know, you don’t need to keep the hood and mask -” Though Miyuki was quick to cut him off and retorted,
“It… It makes me feel safe.” She pulled down her hood a little tighter and moved past him quickly, almost like she wanted to get away. Antauri stood with his arms across his chest as his shoulders slumped as a heaviness built up in his chest again, but the stoic simian was quick to shake his head and pushed it aside. Now, Miyuki and her emotional state were the main priority. ‘I’ll have plenty of time to reflect on this sensation later.’ He thought and followed her for a little while as twilight softly bathed the usually busy city as the two walked quietly alongside one another and the citizens began to slowly file into their homes for the evening.
He glanced over at her and took note of her downtrodden gaze with her arms wrapped around herself in a hug as her eyes darted about. It was like the sadness in her aura was almost tangible, almost like if he wasn’t careful when he reached out to touch her, that very sadness would easily infect him. On the other hand, Miyuki was too wrapped up in her own world to notice Antauri’s concerned gaze. Her tail was wrapped around her waist beneath the cloak as her thoughts overwhelmed her.
‘It has to be perfect. I can’t let them down. Not again! If I don’t get it right -’ Suddenly, the thoughts were interrupted as Miyuki quickly snapped her head up and was caught off guard by the sound of a low piercing laughter as it was followed by the sound of the soft woosh and roar of what sounded like water. “Seagulls? Waves?” Miyuki looked up and realized that Shuggazoom was surrounded by water, and quickly darted over to see the ocean.
Antauri watched as she swiftly perked up and took off towards the guardrail. “Huh? Miyuki, wait!” Antauri called out as he raced after her. As she reached the guardrail, Miyuki reached up with a shaky hand to pull her mask down as she swallowed audibly once more. “I .. I didn’t know Shuggazoom was… Was an island too…” Antauri looked out over the ocean to see as the night sky had started to come out and bathed the ocean in tones of purples and dark blues as the stars reflected in the water’s surface.
“Well, no, the city itself was built on a subterranean reservoir. Or so Gibson tells me.”
But Miyuki didn’t respond and instead took a deep inhale of the warm salty seaspray and listened as the gulls overhead cawed and hawed all as the breeze ruffled her cloak and pulled back the hood. A soft smile framed her face as she began to speak. “I … I never thought I’d… I’d see the ocean again.”
“Again?” Antauri asked as he leaned against the rail. “What do you mean by that?” He brushed his hand over his mouth and rubbed his chin, curious to hear what she had to say. But the small smile that had framed Miyuki’s face was quick to fall and she struggled to speak with a shaky voice.
“When… When I was a little one, I uhm uh I grew up on a large island …. Island in the sea called … called Japan and I … I didn’t expect this.” She sniffled a little and watched the waves lap at the rocky shoreline; back and forth the waves came and went like a familiar old friend to the little snow monkey, as though they were reaching out to embrace her. Antauri hummed softly as his gaze stayed intently on her, listening in case she spoke up. “I was born in a small zen temple that was surrounded by woods and sat facing a large, placid lake. It was beautiful when in the winter, snow blanketed everything as far as the eye could and the lake would sometimes freeze over enough to let you walk on it, heh didn’t mean some of us youngsters didn’t find that one patch of black ice and fall in. ‘It’s family tradition at this point,’ my ojiichan would say, ‘seems like once every winter one of you youngsters just has to go fallin’ in that darn icy cold lake and it’s my old graying self that’s gotta jump in and rescue ya!’ hehe rest his soul, ojiichan would get so mad at us for that! It was enough to keep from straying too far from the shore at least.”
Antauri’s brow shot up as a surprised hum escaped him. ‘She didn’t stutter that time, odd.’ He took a moment to clear his throat and turned back to look at the ocean as he tried to think of what to say or ask. “Japan you say? And it was surrounded by water?”
“Hai, the island itself was surrounded by a giant ocean. I never got to see it myself, but heh.” She glanced down at the darkened waters below and curled her fingers tightly against her arms and shivered beneath the cloak. “Heh unless it was a shallow hot spring or even the shoreline, I uhm heh I ah had … had no interest in the water.”
“You’re afraid of the water, I presume?”
She nodded quietly before continuing on. “I loved it there, I loved how the humans would watch us with joy and let us come up to play with them, they weren’t supposed to but they would. I remember being a child and stealing what I now know to be a camera. The human wasn’t happy but I recall being quite proud of myself.” Antauri couldn’t but smile as he listened to her, chuckling as she recalled thieving a tourist’s camera and taking pride in it, he found himself smirking at her as she continued to speak. “I remember spring time and how sakura blossoms littered the scenery!” Miyuki pulled back her arms and spread them wide to explain just how much the flowers coated the land. “Hehe it was like the snow had turned into pink flowers! And we as children would often make piles and piles of flowers and dive into the fallen blossoms, we may have also snacked on them hehe! We knew it wasn’t likely a good idea, but we were young and didn’t care, we… We thought we were Sun Goku, immortal and invincible and our little temple on the lake was the legendary flower-fruit mountain.” Miyuki leaned against the rail again and looked out over the ocean again, a warm wistful smile framed her face but the tears in her eyes and the sniffles in her nose seemed to tell another story. A soft, deep sigh escaped Miyuki as she grew silent once more. Antauri reached out and rested a hand on her shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze as he gave her a sympathetic look. She smiled again, and turned her gaze away back down into the water as she reached up a hand and rested it on top of his and blushed. He chuckled and turned to look out at the water with her, watching as the stars above sparkled and shone in the water’s reflection as the sounds of gull’s laughter soon began to fade and the silence enveloped the pair in a warm, comfortable atmosphere. Antauri glanced over to find Miyuki as she smiled wistfully at the ocean, her blue eyes shimmered and sparkled like stars overhead and Antauri couldn’t help but notice as his heartbeat picked up, it practically thudded wildly in his chest, enough that it was audible to anyone close enough to hear it. He shook his head and pulled his hand away, opting to rest his chin against instead. ‘Come now, Antauri, now isn’t the time to meditate on these odd emotions.’ He internally chided himself as the pair continued to watch the waves. Though a soft, effeminate hum caught his attention as he glanced over at Miyuki, who’s wistfulness had faded into melancholy as she furiously wiped the tears from her eyes and began to stammer.
“When… When I was a little.. Little girl, I uhm I and my uhm f…family would… watch the sh..shrine ma..maidens pre…preform a… kagura dance, for the gods.”
“A kagura dance?”
“Hai… It’s meant to.. Uhm act as a soft of uhm o…prayer for good har-har-harvests and uhm uhm wish away illness. Anyway… I spent a … a year pra..practicing and when.. Uhm when I finally had it right I uh pre… preformed with the maidens. The… the dance went well, heh and I … I got one more year with my family… But as children so … so often d… do, I pr…pr…put off practicing my dance, and uhm I… I didn’t perform my … my ka..kagura dance…” He could tell as she tensed up and wrapped her arms around herself, that what came next wouldn’t be easy to confess, so he rubbed her arm tenderly and softly hushed her once more as he pulled back her hood.
“It’s alright Miyuki, take a moment to breathe. There’s no rush to explain yourself.” His brows furrowed at the sight before him, her jaw became taunt as her eyes shut tightly and all he could do was wipe away the tears. “You don’t need to tell me if it’s too painful.” But Miyuki shook her head and swallowed the lump once more in her throat.
“No, I’ve… I need to get this … off my chest.” With one deep breath, Miyuki managed to force the words out of her throat. “I ttttsss I didn’t do my dance, and I lost my family to greedy humans as a result. We were … were asleep in the-the t-trees when smoke filled the air and… and uhm forced us from the trees. It was so thick, and we didn’t see the traps below as we scrambled down. The adults and … and little ones were… were separated, before we knew it there was gun fire and screams, horrible screams.” Miyuki’s hands moved quickly to cover her ears as she fell to her knees. Antauri quickly joined her side and quietly stroked her head and remained silent to allow her to collect herself. “Okasan… Ojiisan… All of the adults died. The children were… were sold off as pets… Which explains how I became part robot like you. The-the skeleton king picked me from the cage and did this to me…” Miyuki paused for a moment to look at her robotic arm, what once had been soft equally white fur was now a dark gray and covered in tungsten. Her fist and arm tightened as she shakily spoke again, “Had I just … If I …hhaa … Now you understand why … Why I must make sure my dance is… is perfect. I’ve already lost one family, I lost one home, I can never go back. I… I can’t lose you too.” Miyuki turned and leapt at him, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck. Antauri sat frozen for a moment, doing his best to process what in the name of Shuggazoom had just happened. Slowly, and somewhat awkwardly, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close as he slowly rubbed her back. Once his brain had caught up with the present moment, he tightened his hold on her and inhaled deeply as he felt her shake and tremble in his arms while she cried.
“Now I understand, you think that by doing this kagura dance, it will keep us safe. You failed your family, but you won’t fail your team.”
“I can’t … I can’t afford to lose another family! I just …. I can’t.” Her grip on him tightened as a soft growl escaped her throat as though she half expected something terrible to happen.
“Miyuki, I … Even if it’s not perfect by your standards, I’m sure the gods will take great joy in your dance, just as it is. It’s quite a lovely sight to witness.” But his words didn’t seem to reach her as all the little snow monkey did was snuggle into the crook of his neck and hold him tighter. ‘I thought Nova had a tight grip! But it looks like she has competition.’ Antauri thought as Miyuki hugged him tight enough to slightly choke him. Still, with another long glance at the monkey who clung to him like a teddy bear, he found himself wondering, ‘how long has she held this burden for? How long has she thought she had to do this alone? Perhaps I’m out of my depth, or my mind but … I can’t take seeing her this way.’ He coughed slightly and braced himself as he spoke.
“Miyuki, would you like for me to do this dance with you? Perhaps, if you were to not carry this burden alone, then maybe that would ease some of your fears.” He listened as her breath hitched in her throat and nearly choked the poor monkey as a result as she went into a coughing fit. To which he quickly pulled back to check if she was okay, “Miyuki!?”
“I’m -hack! - okay! But, You - hack - would - cough- do that?!” Miyuki held onto his shoulders and looked up at him stunned, and a little bit like he was a touch crazy. The offer was the last thing she’d expected and in truth she thought he was just messing with her. But the soft understanding in his eyes told her otherwise. “You… You really… You’d honest to goodness.. would be … be willing to… to learn!?” He watched as her shock faded into pure joy as her eyes lit up like the stars above them. “Heh… Heh haha! Arigato! Arigato, Antauri!!! You… You don’t… You don’t know what this means…. Means to me!!” She tackled him again and hugged him tightly as she practically knocked the pair of them to the ground. “And you’re… you’re… Antauri?” Miyuki trailed off upon feeling how stiff he’d become, it was like she’d hugged a two by four. Antauri on the other hand felt his brain completely freeze up again. He knew she’d be happy, grateful even for the offer but being pinned down in a hug was the last thing he’d expected. The usually calm and stoic simian felt his heartbeat pick up again and his breathing became somewhat shallow, almost like someone held the poor thing’s lungs in a vice-like grip as his face turned red. Miyuki quickly sat up to see what was wrong only to realize why he’d become so stiff. Her eyes widened in horror at the sudden realization of her mistake and she quickly jumped off of him and bowed deeply. “Mōshiwakenai arimasen!! Please forgive me, I … I … I…”
Suddenly, Miyuki felt a finger rest against her lips and glanced up to find him smirking at her with a calm look in his eyes. “It’s … It’s quite alright, really.” He chuckled and moved to stand up and dust off. Miyuki sighed in relief and leaned forward, just grateful he wasn’t angry with her.
“We can start early in the morning. For now though, uhm …” She trailed off and gulped again as she fidgeted with her fingers, “there’s a tea shop in town, yes?”
All Antauri could do was smile again as he admired the soft blush against her white fur. ‘She is quite cute, especially when she’s nervous.’ He cleared his throat and spoke, “indeed. Would you like some?”
“Hai, onegaishimasu.”
“I’ll… Take that as a yes. Come, it’s not far from here.” He gingerly took her by the hand and led her to the tea shop. Besides, after the emotional evening they’d been through, Antauri felt it was much needed.