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Pacing the halls of St. Mungo’s wasn’t exactly how she planned to reunite with her fiancé. He had left the night before his birthday and had been gone for almost 20 days. Now he was being treated for a collapsed lung and was hooked up with a ventilator in the ICU. Noone was allowed to know what happened, which didn’t surprise her, for he was never able to reveal the details of the missions he had been deployed on. What was surprising though was that he had never mentioned that he had an upcoming job to run, a solo one at that.
She knew he had been promoted to Lead Strategist of the Auror Department at the ministry, the youngest one in a long time. So, field activity was, expectedly, not on the cards for him unless it was extremely necessary. Even back when he was an active field agent, he had never been on a solo mission, being partnered with Harry. A solo mission out of the blue that he never mentioned and that only he knew about was eating at her brain. She tried digging of course, asking around and the department for more information, but even Harry had been no help.
Having been joined by Harry and her pacing put to a pause, she took a seat and instead resumed her hobby of chewing upon her bottom lip. Harry plopped down on the seat beside her, though not so gracefully as you may think, given that the metal cushionless seats make for very uncomfortable seats to plop down on. He didn’t mind of course; the same questions that plagued Hermione were on his mind too. But they made no effort to make conversation, instead staring at the large blue-grey metal door that opened into the ICU ward in which Ron was being treated.
The last time Harry had seen Ron outside of work was when he turned up at his flat to just catch up with Ginny, who completely forgot she had agreed to meet for dinner and instead went out with Luna. Harry had noticed that Ron had been making an active effort to keep up with his family, so naturally, he sort of felt bad for him when George and Ginny just kept taking his time for granted. To cheer him up he and Ron made a visit to the muggle cinema, chatting about the quidditch league and taking the piss out of him for thinking the cannons stood a chance. He seemed to have forgotten being sidelined by his siblings for now, but Harry made a mental note to confront Ginny about taking Ron’s time for granted. This, of course, was dismissed as sibling banter by the sister, who assured Harry it was nothing Ron would be upset by. It always unnerved him how little his own family knew what he was like, but was wise enough to not further press the matter, which would only invite more conflict between the siblings.
After an hour or so of staring emptily, their patience, not that they had a choice but to wait, was rewarded by the minister himself walking up to them. He was just as shocked to see them there as they were to see him. Reaching them and waving off their ceremonious standing up from their seats to show respect, he asked them what they were doing here.
Hermione didn’t know what to answer, her fiancé was inside fighting for his life, and he was asking what she was doing there… what sort of question is that
“We heard Ron was admitted into the hospital, so we came to check if he was alright, but they’ve not told us anything” he answered on her behalf
“I should hope not, you weren’t supposed to know about it in the first place” Rather too stern towards people who found out their best friend has been seriously injured, but Shacklebolt rarely seemed soft anyway.
This did get Hermione to speak for the first time since the nurse told her that they don’t know if Ron will make it.
“Minister, my fiancé is fighting for his life, and I wasn’t to be informed? Even with the protocol to prevent details being leaked, I don’t know why no one from the ministry informed until Neville called me after reading his file” she hissed back, matching the minister's firmness and then adding some more
“Mr. Weasley made the decision to not have any visitors if anything should go wrong right after he volunteered for this mission. He said in his form not to inform anyone unless the doctors thought he was about to die, and he was in a perfectly capable state when he made that decision. I don't know why he did so, but It's my job to honor his request, seeing that he directly reports to me for this mission.” the monotony in his voice would hint towards indifference, but he too was now curious as to why Ron had made that choice.
“Wait, he volunteered for this role? Knowing the risks?” Harry asked, taken aback by Kingsley’s reply. Of all the things he had expected, this wasn’t it.
“Yes… he had read the file of the mission and asked if he could be granted permission to carry out the mission alone if I and Robards approved of his plan, which we did” he paused to let that sink in, but not for too long “Were you not aware of this?” He finished off, surprised that Ron would hide such a thing from his friend and fiancé.
“No, sir, Ron didn’t even tell us he was headed off on a mission. I only found out when he didn’t show up to his office and his secretary informed me that he’d been deployed”
“While the mission’s details are certainly not to be disclosed, its existence itself wasn’t a secret to be kept. All the Auror Heads were aware of the raids, and he wasn’t told to hide it from you” he glanced a look back and forth between the two people before him.
Hermione was… there were no words to describe what she was right now. She was confused by his actions; he’d been a little distant for the last 2 days, but he had never gone off without telling her. Even worse, he actively sought out a mission which he could go on alone, which wasn’t like him at all. And the no visitors thing? Why was he isolating himself? Her mind then started racing with doubts, what if she had lost him and she hadn’t found out? What if he hadn’t made it back? Sure, that risk existed with any mission, but it’d hit her a lot worse if it was one where he went off on alone without informing anyone.
She had to get herself out of the slide she was going down. He was ok, she reminded herself.
He’s here, the doctors are with him. He’ll be okay
Soon after, the medi-wizards stepped out and pulled Kingsley aside. After a short conversation carried out in whispers, which she tried to pick up but failed, he walked up to them again.
He hesitated for a moment and then informed them of the news.
“Mr. Weasley will be fine, all his injuries are healing and he’s on a path to recover soon. He’s still in a drug induced sleep but will be woken up tonight so the doctors may conduct more tests. And if he is fine with it, I will let you both visit”
She sighed, letting out a breath she had held since the medi-wizards stepped out to talk to Kingsley. He was going to be okay, and she’d be with him soon. Just a few more hours. She picked up the prophet and browsed, trying to pass time. Harry just kept chatting with the minister, trying to pry out as much as he could about the mission. The minister trusted Harry, so he gave in in the end after the endless questions and told him a few superficial objectives of the mission.
It wasn’t a particularly difficult one, just required a few days of planning and coordination, but not ‘planning it and carrying out yourself without backup’ easy. And apparently, ending up underwater after being stunned is an easy way to die.
When news came that Ron had woken up and the doctors were finished carrying out various tests and administering a variety of potions to ease his pains and counter his symptoms, Kingsley was granted permission to step in and interrogate Ron about the case. While it was usually left to the Robards to interrogate such high-profile cases, Kingsley wanted to do it this time.
Kingsley knew St. Mungos hired the best doctors and nurses, but even still he was impressed with Ron’s state just a few hours after being in such a critical condition. Ron almost looked ready to be discharged, though he knew the hospital would insist he stay a few more days.
“I’d get up, minister, but I don’t think I’m able to just yet” he said hoarsely when he recognised that Kingsley had walked in.
He didn’t know where he was when he had woken up, and why all these tubes and vials were across him but the medi-wizard in charge of his case explained that he had been critically injured, fatal in fact, and had required urgent care. He was told he was fine now though, just needed rest.
Kingsley asked about the mission: how it went, what he was able to find out, anything that he wouldn’t normally include in the report
After wishing Ron a speedy recovery, he got up to head out but turned back just before he existed
“Ron, I want to talk to you about something, not in the capacity as Minister for Magic, but as a friend” his previous sternness, resolve all gone, replaced by a soft concerned look
“Yes?”
“Why did you not inform anyone you volunteered for this mission? From what I gather, you didn’t even tell your family you had a mission coming up. I take it that wasn’t an accident?”
He looked to Ron expecting a witty one liner but right now Ron was just staring into the wall, just next to Kingsley. Kingsley knew he was thinking about how to answer the question, so he let him his time and waited.
After a few long seconds, Ron furrowed his brows and cleared his throat, bracing himself more than his boss for the answer.
“I just needed to get away for a while. I- I- Everyone around me for some reason has been so angered with me and telling me to grow up and just assume that I don’t know how to act responsibly. Even Harry. The other day he just got back from stake out and I offered to do his report for him so he could go sleep and he just snapped and told me he didn’t want me messing it up” he let out a dry chuckle, which wasn’t matched with the numbness his eyes put forth “and Hermione basically dumped me the other day because I told her to relax because she seemed tired and she started picking at me and pretty much chucked me. Honestly, I was just tired of being around people and needed some time for myself, I still don’t think I want to go back home. Don’t even feel like talking to my family right now, really. Might ask Tom for a room at the Leaky Cauldron for a few weeks and get myself together”
He wasn’t looking anywhere in particular, just staring up at the ceiling, and Kingsley could note the reflection of lights gleaming in his eyes. He was about to cry. He blinked the tears to be away rapidly and closed his eyes, neck still craned up, so he was facing up.
“Ron, when I took over after the war, every single department head thought I was doing something wrong. The press needed someone to blame, and the hotheaded Auror who was now minister was an easy choice. Families who didn’t receive their relief funds held me accountable. I started thinking that maybe I wasn’t the right man for the job, but your dad of all people helped me out. He just talked to me and made me realise that people just tend to take their anger out on others. We can’t believe the things people say in the heat of the moment.
“Don’t let unresolved guilt and shame be your motivator, Ron. Leave that to the criminals still walking free. You’re far better than people make you out to be”
“Thanks Kingsley, I really needed to hear that. And I’ll do my best about the criminals walking free” His smile may not have been wide, but it was genuine. He hadn’t smiled in a long time. With Hermione and him growing apart, his family seemingly not caring about him anymore, and losing himself in work to not let the locket’s words resurface again, Kingsley’s words meant a lot to him. They made him feel better than any drug or potion coursing through his body.
“I’m certain you will, Ron,” he gave a small laugh and shook his head. “I know you asked not to be visited but Neville let slip that you were hurt and she’s been waiting to see you outside. Do I have your permission to let her in?” He knew it was a big ask. Ron had just confessed his wishes for solitude, but he thought maybe they were overdue a conversation, and maybe Ron wanted to talk to her after being away for a while.
“Course, not like she’s going to leave anytime soon” he loved her, he really did, but she hurt him really badly.
He was at home just going through his kitchen pantry when she returned. They spent less and less time together lately, and she refused to set her work down even when she returned home. He knew she was an ambitious worker, and her work would naturally take priority over most other things. He didn't, however, expect to be blown off on Valentine’s Day when she promised to be home earlier than usual only to return at 9. He had been trying to spend some time together alone with her, and for months something or the other came up. He had been ignored; his attempts rejected.
Now, he didn’t bother to ask what kept her so late. Instead, he had tried again, to ask if she’d like to have a quiet night in with takeout, which she said she’d love if not for [generic work task she prioritises over him], not that it surprised him at this point. He was more worried for her health than their relationship status, though. She rarely took a break and this time when he had tried to get her to relax, she had hurled a string of insults aimed to call him a distraction, immature, and irresponsible adult.
He tried, really really tried, to convince himself that she didn’t see him like he was a 13-year-old putting off potions work to play a game of snap, but he couldn’t. She looked at him with disappointment, the adoration he used to feel at her hands were now replaced with what he thought was disgust. She hadn’t even gone out with him to celebrate his promotion to Lead Strategist 2 months ago. He couldn’t deny it any longer, she was falling out of love. And well, the way she acted towards him lately, it made a lot of sense.
He didn’t hear her come in; he was just staring up at the lights trying to make sense of where it all went wrong. But his breath caught in his throat when he was crushed by a kiss so passionate he’d have done anything to get it, but now he didn’t even return it. He simply closed his eyes and waited till she pulled away.
After the pleasantries and small talk about his health were exchanged, he noticed his hand was being gripped tightly, and he looked down to see the ring still on her.
“You’re still wearing the ring…” he hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but couples don’t usually wear their rings after breaking up
“What do you mean? Ron why wouldn’t I?” she whispered back, her heart racing he could tell because he could feel it in her hands.
“Well, you know, the whole ‘you dumped me’ thing happened so, I’m just confused” he didn’t lift his gaze from the ring till now, but now he stared confusingly at her. She also appeared confused, which only furthered the confusion
“What are you talking about, I never broke up with you” She looked worried, like she thought he was ill, with the look you’d expect on someone staring at a poor traumatised child
“I believe the exact words you used were ‘pathetic excuse of a boyfriend’ and you told me you detested my company” he replied. She somehow seemed to have forgotten the whole thing, which potentially hurt more. Was it so casual, to inflict so much pain on someone you claimed to love?
“I didn’t say I detest-”
“Right my bad, you said, ‘Gosh I can’t stand being around you anymore, just go away’ when I tried to ask you to have dinner” He looked away, no longer able to face her. He just put his head down and kept staring at their joined hands. He was so hurt by that, and here she sat opposite him claiming nothing of the sort happened.
She sat on her stool there, trying to contemplate his words with furrowed intensity. Her eyes started tearing up, and she shot her hand to her mouth.
“Is that why you volunteered to go on this mission? Because you thought I dumped you?” Tears were now rolling down, but she was doing a decent job of holding off the breakdown that was inching closer. She didn’t know for how long she could manage.
“Hermione, you've refused to spend time with me for the past 3 months because you were drowning in work, even when I got promoted or on Valentine’s Day. And when I expressed that I was worried about your health and suggested you take a break you called me a distraction and started yelling at me saying how just because I was irresponsible about our lives, you couldn’t be. And then you said all that and practically kicked me out, what was I supposed to think?” He was genuinely lost.
He knew he had hurt her in the past. God, he had spent every minute of every day trying to make up for it, trying to be there for her to show her he cared. But those words, spoken out of anger or hate or exhaustion, confirmed to him he wasn’t forgiven. He never would be. Not that he thought he deserved it, no it wasn’t that - he just got more upset that she had earlier claimed to have forgiven him.
He didn’t know where he was going with this, but he had to know. “I think I already know the answer to this, and I’m only digging my grave deeper but can- do you still love me? It’s okay if you don’t, just tell me now so I know and-”
Her dam broke. She started shaking in sobs, weeping down, only inhaling in hiccoughs and gasps. He hated seeing her like this, but the only thing he could do to comfort her now is squeeze her other hand that still held onto his.
How had she not seen it before? Hermione Granger attuned to every detail; the most managed and on-top-of-everything person had been blind to her own actions. What she thought of him being distant the last few days before his mission was him packing up and leaving. She knew they hadn’t spent much time lately, but had she been this mean to the person that mattered most to her?
He knew she loved him, right? He had to have. She said that every morning when they hurriedly ate breakfast before work, which he’d cook for her without fail, but had she showered him with love like he tried to do for her… the embarrassment and shame and guilt suddenly made themselves known. She was her own worst enemy. Why she said those things she could never figure out. In her frustration at how slow the department was moving, she took it out on him. She used him, beat him up, yet claimed to love him. Most days he’d be so exhausted, she remembered now looking back, but he still worried about her. She just… didn’t do that for him. The question he posed to her now reversed, how on earth could he love her back after all this?
The tears slowed, the sobs stopped, though her guilt’s gnawing didn’t. She’d have to win him back, convince him she’d change. Before she could think what to say, she was already speaking.
“Ron, I never realised I acted like such a bitch. Please tell me what to do so we can get back from this. I love you more than I can put into words, and I’m so thankful for everything you do” she looked back at him to find him shaking his head slightly, like he didn’t believe, and he didn’t want to believe her. She had to try, she couldn’t let go of the one thing she wanted most.
So many things she wanted to say, she couldn’t pick where to start. She should have realised sooner, when he stopped rowing back with the same intensity and started going silent when she used to yell at him. She didn’t even notice how he stopped doing anything just to get her to go out for dinner, which she didn’t. 3 full months he had tried for dinner, which she denied. What good was work, if it took him away? Her words, she realised, cut her deeper more than anything he had ever said or done. All he had asked was for a quiet night in and she went from there to ‘get away from me’. Then it dawned on her, he deserved better than her, better than whatever she had been to him these past few months. And Merlin, give her strength, she was going to be the better he deserved.
“Ron please, say something. I’ve been wretched to you and I’m so sorry, I really am. I don't know how to make you see that but please tell me you can forgive me. I’ll do better, I’ll take a few weeks off work, we'll go on holiday and do whatever you want. Please just tell me you can give me another chance” She begged God or whatever other force that ruled over them so her wish would be granted. Her tears were back in full force, but she didn’t care if she appeared too desperate, because right now that’s all she was. Desperate to just get a second chance at
He was laying fully back down on his back, blinking slowly at the roof of the ICU room, and it came back to her how she had let history repeat herself. Sure, he had been mostly guilty in the Lavender fiasco, but now the fault was all hers to claim. Second chance was no longer an appropriate title.
“I was just so tired of being the punching bag. I know I’ve messed up a lot in the past but when people keep telling me to grow up or call me immature despite me trying so so hard to be there for them, it just makes me feel like they think I’m some carefree child who only cares about chocolate. It makes me think no one has any faith in me, which sucks because every time I used to hear that locket in my head again, I used to tell myself that you believed in me and maybe I wasn’t so bad.
"But then after the last few months when all I wanted was to help you relax and I got shit on, I just needed to get away, to not be someone's target practice or to be yelled at for simply trying to help, tired of not being trusted or people not having any faith. I wanted to be alone, so I volunteered and made him promise me not to tell anyone and then left. I didn’t mean to be gone so long, but a few things didn’t go to plan, and it lasted longer than I planned it to now I’m here”
She could tell this was not easy for him to admit, he looked really uncomfortable, and he was fidgeting with his tubes. Sure, it could've been the pain, but she could tell it was because he was opening up like this. God almighty she wanted to curse herself. She would’ve been better off if he confessed that with an angry tone but all she could hear was sadness and loneliness, which she brought upon him.
“I’ll say it again to let you know, I’ll never be as dedicated to your work as you. I’m sensitive and broken and weak and I need reassurance. I’m not very fun to be around sometimes and I’m not really on the ambitious path to become the next minister of magic so if I'm not enough for you just tell me now, Hermione. I can't keep doing this wh-"
This time, Hermione interrupted him and brought her hands to his cheek and peppered his face with kisses. she pulled back and wiped away her own tears and started off to tell him why he was all she ever wanted, that he was enough was an understatement.
“No one even comes close to you, Ron, no one even ever has, and no one can. You’re it for me and I love you so much. You’re more than enough for me, and I haven’t acted that way to you and I will change that this instant. I just pray you can take me back” She forced herself to let go of his cheeks, but Ron caught her hands with his own and turned his head around to face her.
“Hermione I never wanted to leave you, there’s no taking back when I didn’t even want to let you go. I never stopped loving you, even after all those things you said I still see the same brilliant, gorgeous witch who keeps fighting for others, which just hurt more when I thought you outgrew whatever phase of your life where you wanted to be with me”
“You’re not just an episode, Ron. It’s not a phase. And I’ll fight for you too from now on, I promise you. Oh, gods Ron, just give me another chance, please” He took her hands and kissed her knuckles and turned back to the ceiling. God, he missed her so much, how could he not give it another go. Hell, he’d keep forgiving her for anything if it meant they got to stay together. He nodded, at no one really, and shut his eyes, a smile on his face for the first time in the conversation.
He didn’t go to sleep yet, not that he could, but the lights were starting to hurt his eyes. She must’ve noticed his eyelids being too tightly shut, so she dimmed the lights with the nurse’s permission and sat back down next to him, pulling her chair closer to the head of his bed.
“Do you want to see Harry and your family? I can bring them in” she said in a soft voice that made his face relax. Even despite all their quarrels, he was just glad to have her by his side.
“They’re the last people I want to see right now, and I don’t want to be lectured by a bespectacled scrawny man about the dangers of solo missions”
“You’re not really free of that lecture, I’m just waiting till you’re better and not mad at me anymore” She meant it as a joke, or at least she hoped he took it as one, but she wasn’t joking. The last thing she wanted to do was be stereotypically herself when it had almost cost her the things that enabled her to be herself.
He gave a small chuckle, but a genuine one this time, not a sarcastic one people give to express annoyance or anger.
“I could never stay mad at you for too long, not after everything we’ve been through. And besides, you wouldn’t be the woman I wanted to marry if you didn’t nag”
“You still want to? Marry me, I mean?” She was on the verge of sobbing again. If his answer wasn’t what she wanted it to be, she’d drop dead of grief right there.
“Woman, I was surprised you wanted to after all that. I never asked you to take it off, did I?”
“Can you just say it please, I just want to hear it from you. I want to know I haven’t messed this up beyond repair”
“Hermione Granger, I’d marry you tomorrow if I could. And I don’t want to keep thinking about the past few months anymore, and I’m not going to hold it against you. Not when you’ve told me countless times how you’ve forgiven me for far worse things. It wouldn't be fair”
“I love you so much, Ron, I don’t care about house elves or their rights or land grants for giants if it meant you. I’m so sorry”
She dropped her head onto his bed near his chest and tried to hold back more tears but failed.
He dropped his hands to her head and started stroking her hair. She had missed his so much, why she allowed herself to drown in work when she wanted him she didn’t know. She was just glad to be here with him now.
Maybe Ron was right in his first year. It’s about time she sorted out her priorities. She meant what she said about not caring about house elf rights or land grants, she wanted him so much more than any of that. And now she had to show him. For all the judgement she passed on girls trying to chase after men, she now had only one thought on her head. She needed to show him how much he meant to her, she needed to win him back.
His strokes started slowing down, she knew he was tired and needed rest, and it was best to get him to sleep. Still, she had to tell him.
“Ron”
She heard him hum his attention, and she got her head up and brushed his hair away from his forehead. He opened his eyes to her and she knew she had his attention.
“Let’s do it, get married I mean. I don’t want to wait anymore”
His eyes widened just for a small seconds and even in the dark, she could tell he was a little red.
“Planning a wedding takes months Hermione, we can’t rush that, it won’t be up to your standards”
“I don’t care about all that, not now. I just want to be your wife, if you’ll have me. As soon as you're out of here, let's do it”
He started laughing slowly and pulled her in for a kiss. This time, he actively took part. This time, she wanted to get everything right.
“Can’t wait” he mumbled between kisses, and she knew then, maybe she stood a chance after all.
Sleep came, but without the usual nightmares she experienced when he was gone.
Never had she thought she’d elope, but now that’s all she could look forward to. When he recovered, her first priority was to make him her husband, nothing else mattered, not compared to that. And when she heard his light snores, and found their hands still together, she knew he felt the same. And maybe that’s what love was, prioritising each other and forgiving shortcomings. And oh, how she loved him.