Chapter Text
It was just a normal day at school.
Year 2 students don't usually have much action anyway. So, I decided to go to the cooking club.
There, the one most important to me is waiting.
"Can't be late."
"Oh, you're here, Izumi-senpai."
"Yo, Momoka."
She's a new member who's quite the face of this club. Momoka Satomiya's her name and she makes some mean dishes. Not like it'll win against my black hole stomach.
"Oh? Shiho! You're here!" a voice came from my behind and hugged me.
"...Can you, like, not cling to me every second?"
This... is my lover. We've met since childhood on various occasions in various competitions. Her parents are both masters of classical music, yet she broke through their preset images by simply debuting as a guitarist at the end of a certain competition.
The reason why I remembered her oh-so-well is…
“Please, Shiho. I know you’re watching me. Please… Don’t abandon what’s important to you. Please, be yourself again, Shiho… And… I’m sorry.”
My heart almost feels like it’s beating out of my chest.
I’ve felt jealousy, envy and even malice towards her. But, her feelings to me are always as pure as a spring.
…I was in the wrong. I was the one that should’ve said sorry.
I made her cry. Again.
I…
…Maybe she’s right. I’ve always been known to act rash.
Her feelings for me… Her unwavering belief towards me…
“... sob sob K-Kyou… I-I’m…”
God, this place is dusty as hell. I’m n-not crying, not at a-all…
“So… Please, forgive me, Shiho.”
No.
“...I can’t forgive you!”
That’s what I shouted back to her.
“There’s nothing you did wrong! What is there even to forgive!?”
“...!”
“If anything, the one that’s always in the wrong sob sob … It was me all along! Me, and no one else!”
You were always my Polaris, Shiho.
…And you were always my number one, Kyou.
“I love everything about you, Shiho! I always believed in you!”
…Forgiveness can only heal so much if the recipient hasn’t forgiven themselves.
“I love the way you perform, I love the way you act. I love everything you do!”
…It was nothing I'd ever expected to come from her.
“So please, come back to me! The one part of you that you’ve forsaken… Regain it!”
I’ve always thought that for the longest time, competing in venues like this would be my life forever.
I’ve always thought that I could live like this.
But, no.
This is wrong.
I was naive, I was an idiot, I was a fool, and I was childish.
…So, what will it be, Shiho Izumi? Stay miserable like this, or be happy once again?
“...Alright. I’m done looking away from my sins.”
I’m playing as I like. You always play to capture the judges’ hearts.
It’s my turn. I can’t be number one in these venues, but I’ll be the number one in everyone’s hearts.
It’s showtime.
The pain that I’ve caused myself from playing violin just to win…
Those will harm me no more.
I’ll show you!
“I’ll give you your fight! You wanted a performance that’ll remain in your heart, right?! Then, I’ll give it to you!”
First place as usual. She’s always like this.
The MC has announced that to honor the winner’s wish, I’m allowed to play as a bonus act.
“...Let’s go.”
I guess I’ve already forgiven myself. The violin, once so heavy on me, never felt any lighter than ever.
And then… I played, played, played and played.
My grudge that I’ve held all these years… Go back to where you all came from!
Even though it’s my first time playing in years, I felt like I was unstoppable. Kyou even joined me at one point.
Our perfect tempo, our perfect harmony… It has permeated this hall and everyone inside it.
Time has never felt so slow, yet so fast.
However, we’ll be seizing the moment.
“Come on, Kyou!”
“Mm!”
Cheers blossomed from the audience once we finished our special duet. Even the judges are asking for another reward just for me.
…Oh well, it’s free, so…
“...H-Hey…”
“Oh, it’s you.”
Surprisingly, Kyou was waiting for me at the entrance of the venue.
“...Not gonna lie, that crybaby from a few years back really grew nicely.”
“M-Mou!”
…Why?
Why did I decide to throw away someone this precious to me?
“...Nee, Kyou.”
“Hm?”
I did something that’d make my younger self sock me.
I bowed towards Kyou.
“H-Heh?!”
“Sorry for everything I’ve caused you to suffer for all these years.”
I don’t think I could fully face her if I hadn't done so.
But, somehow, Kyou smiled. Even all this time, she never held anything against me.
“That’s good. You’re finally back… Shiho…”
Naturally, she cried. But, somehow… It’s also making me bawl my eyes out like earlier.
“You were always looking like you were in pain. Constant sufferings, endless agonies and more… B-But… You’re really back, Shiho…”
“Sorry for making you worried,” I said as I stood up.
…Wait a second. Have Kyou always looked this pretty?
“Unto my last breath, I’ll always be after your side. Even in death, I’ll always be next to you…”
“What’s all this now? You sounded like you were confessing.”
That’s silly. The Kyou I always knew would never do things like this…
But, time is a cruel mistress.
“That’s because I am.”
Endless nightmares have haunted me. In them, I was killed in an accident and left three people grief-stricken - Momoka Satomiya, my junior… Hajime Amasawa, my sister… and, the one I held dear, Shiho Izumi.
One day, she was at her school’s concert, trying to end things from the past… Yet, I intervened as a spirit, prompting her to go back to where she belonged.
I felt happy… And I felt mad.
The one she was after had a lot of similarities with me. So why?
Why couldn’t it be me?
Why did I have to die in that nightmare?
…Still, I’m rather thankful for it.
After all, it made me realize that I’ve always loved her romantically, after all these time.
“I couldn’t get myself to talk to you after our breakoff… That has been gnawing at my soul ever since. I’m sure if I couldn’t see you one more time, heart to heart… I’d have disappeared forever from this world and you.”
“...Hold up. You serious?”
“Yep.”
I was expecting a scolding from her, as usual.
Yet, somehow… This time is different.
“You idiot! Saying all these BS on your own! Whaddaya mean!? You wanna be together with someone who caused grief to herself because of you?!”
“I-I…”
“...Honestly, Kyou, you’re insufferable.”
“Ugh!”
“But… Don’t blame me if you end up regretting it, okay? I’m not the person you thought I was.”
“...And I’m also not the person you thought I was. I’m not a crybaby anymore.”
“Here, tissue… My lovely hypocrite.”
I know. You’re always like this. A li’l mean, but you generally mean good.
Without even realizing, I’ve changed.
I’ve looked up towards you, always. I’ll not cast aside this feeling and make myself suffer.
And, you also changed without yourself realizing it…
“Please, don’t make the same mistake again.”
Can you feel your soul trembling?
I don’t give a damn about what this world throws to me anymore.
I made the decision to isolate myself from her, after all. Yet, like moths to flame, I’m back here again.
And I’ll no longer leave this.
As we walked a bit from the venue, we reached a popular high-end public park. Inside, speakers gave off good vibes all around the place with various classical pieces.
“Ah, it’s a violin track. The violinist is pretty good!”
“Still not as good as yours.”
“No, yours.”
But, this ballad…
“...M’lady,” I asked her as this music is the perfect tone setter. “Shall we dance?”
And I know Shiho can’t say no to this one.
“Dang, those kids… They’re still going.”
Various passersby have gathered between the two pretty princesses, lost in their kingdom. Their dance, once again, captured the heart and soul of everyone present there.
“...Ma-chan, do you want to dance?”
“No, not really.”
“Aw…”
“...Jeez, fine. Let’s dance, Kaori Tachibana.”
That night, the park had never felt so alive. A lot of people danced together, thanks to the two starters giving them a good time.
“I’m beat…Huwah…”
“It was fun, though. Thanks for the invite. How should I repay it?”
“Well, a kiss, maybe… Just kidding- Mph?!”
I guess I had to make sure that jokes are clearly telegraphed. But, still… I can’t ask for anything more than this.
Our first kiss, shining so brightly on my soul, etched itself to my core.
I think I’ve fallen completely for her, and I won’t have it any other way.
“...That day came up again.”
“Heeh? What a coincidence, me too!”
Both of us had countless regrets that we’ve buried in the span of just a day. The results of it are quite unexpected yet welcomed.
If we were to meet again, I'm sure I wouldn't want it any less than this.
Unto my last breath, I’ll always be yours.
I’ll be here for you, till death do us part.