Work Text:
Stiles refused to look at Peter during pack meetings. But that didn’t stop him from making snide and cruel remarks every time Peter opened his mouth.
“No one asked you, zombie wolf. If we need pointers on mayhem and murder we’ll ask you, until then, nobody needs to hear anything you have to say.”
“Stiles!” Derek’s glare was mostly one of confusion. “What is your problem?”
“My problem? There’s a serial killer sitting in the living room and you want to know what my problem is? What’s your problem Derek? He killed your sister! And now, what? Everything’s ok?”
“I’ve forgiven him for Laura.”
“Well I haven’t.”
Both the Hales looked at him curiously. The rest of the pack had already started to slink out of the house. Scott hung back for a moment but left after a quick nod and wave from Stiles in his direction.
“What does it matter to you? You didn’t know her.”
“Yes. I did.” Stiles sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “Do you remember what Laura did for a living before the fire?”
“Yeah. She worked at the- Oh fuck.”
“My dad was the one who hired her. First thing he did when he became sheriff.”
“He was the sheriff then? So the little kid she used to babysit…”
“Was me. When my mom got sick… Laura helped me through it. She was your big sister, but she was kind of mine too, ya know?”
“You came to the house. After the fire. You came here and brought us food. That was you.”
“Yeah. I just wanted to help. She meant the world to me.”
Peter sighed and rubbed his hands over his face.
“Stiles sit down.” His voice lost the evil and playful edge it usually had. He just sounded… Wreaked. At Stiles’ glare he sighed again and sat on the couch. “Sit down and I’ll explain to you what I told Derek.”
Stiles held the glare as he sat stiffly on the chair across from Peter, Derek’s hand on his shoulder, keeping him relatively calm.
“When I came out of the coma it was… a slow process. I was suffering severe post traumatic shock. I was half out of my mind and didn’t know what was going on. Part of me was still reliving the fire. I was running on pure survival instinct. I was able to communicate slightly with my nurse. She told me that she would find an alpha for me so that I could become strong again. I didn’t… I was in the woods. I could sense an alpha behind me. I turned… I attacked. I didn’t know it was Laura until after she was dead. I have very few regrets in life. But I will always regret killing Laura. And I will never forgive myself.”
“That’s why you killed your nurse.”
“Yes.”
Stiles buried his face in his hands. His shoulders trembled and Derek’s grip tightened.
“We all miss Laura.” Derek murmured. “But she’s gone. There’s nothing we can do about that.”
“But he gets to come back? How is that fair? How is any of this fair?”
“It isn’t. Come with me.” Derek pulled Stiles to his feet, both of them giving Peter a passing glance on their way out the door. The older man was staring at the floor, a glazed and broken look on his face.
Derek led Stiles outside to a patch of dirt that was covered in fresh grass and marked with a sprig of wolfsbane.
“This is where you… This is her?” Derek nodded and Stiles sank to his knees. “When Scott and I… Last year. I didn’t know it was her. Even when we saw her. I didn’t recognize her. Then when my dad said they identified her…” Stiles’ voice broke. Derek knelt down next to Stiles and put an arm around him. “She used to call me pipsqueak.” He whispered. “She’d put her hats on my head, and rub my back, and… She always made me feel better.”
“Sometimes… Lately… When things get crazy and I can’t deal. I come out here and talk to her. Maybe you should try it. Might help.”
“Laura…” Stiles placed his hand on her grave. The ground was cold and hard. It wasn’t right. None of this was right. “I miss you. God, I miss you. I miss hanging out at the station. Helping you with your work. I know now I wasn’t much help at all but… You made me feel like… Like I was important and special. Like I was doing something right. When mom got sick you were like… My family’s guardian angel. You kept us together. Kept us sane. You were my angel.” Stiles couldn’t stop the tears streaming down his face. “You lied to me. You told me she was gonna get better. You told me everything was gonna be fine. You knew. You had to have known that she was dying. You knew and you told me she was gonna be ok. You lied to me!” Stiles began crying harder. Derek pulled him closer.
“You were a little kid, Stiles. You needed to be lied to.”
“I trusted you. I needed you. Then your family died and my heart broke for you. You were so sad. I just wanted you to be happy again. Then you left. You left me. You left, and then she died, and I… My dad was a mess. Scott tried to help but he didn’t know how. I kept waiting for you to come back. But you never did.”
“She didn’t wanna leave. We talked about it. For hours. She didn’t want to leave you and your family. She knew your mom didn’t have a lot of time. She wanted to be here for you. She loved you.” Stiles’ sobs got louder and Derek wrapped his arms around him as tight as he could, Stiles’ back pressed against his chest. “Every so often we would talk about coming back. For you. She never told me your name. She always called you her kid. Or her other little brother.” Derek smiled sadly. “She never forgot you. She always said she knew you were gonna grow up to be fantastic.”
“She’d be so disappointed.”
“She’d be proud. And you just know that she and your mom are hanging out in the afterlife watching over you. They’d be so proud of everything you’ve done. The person you are.”
Stiles leaned against him and took a few deep breaths to calm himself.
“And your mom too. They’re all watching over us. Worrying their heads off. And Allison’s mom is glaring disapprovingly at them, so they throw stuff at her.”
Derek laughed and kissed the top of Stiles’ head.
“I like that. And they’d be glad that we have each other.” He placed a finger under Stiles’ chin and lifted his head, turning a bit to brush their lips together. “We don’t have to be alone.”
They sat at Laura’s grave for hours, holding each other as the sun set behind the trees.