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Being aware of one’s surroundings was something they learnt during basic training, and although they expected 001 to be aware of his own surroudings by his own, they started to check by themselves to make sure he was safe, that his current average life was safe. Of course, one of the main sources to be investigated are always the people around oneself, that’s how they became aware of something they didn’t think they would care about, 002 in special, much less keeping in mind that they would have considered it impossible back in the past, when 001 would barely say a single word unless it was completely necessary, the fact was, indeed, that 001 AKA Ijin Yu, was very, VERY popular among girls his age and even older than him as it seems, that thought alone made 002 frown and got him upset with him not wanting to acknowledge the exact reason for
Of course, although none of numbered would admit it out loud, they always considered 001 to be in his own strange way, charming, and 002 himself was aware that 001 wasn’t exacly bad looking, much less after finally seeing him after 5 years and noticing how much he has grown up. But he couldn’t help but feel uneasy about all of this, for some reason, he wasn’t jealous of him, but for him instead.
And that situation kept going on for a while, he would often check Ijin’s surroundings, under the excuse of him being aware of SW and Forest, and although those excuses held certain amount of truth, the thoughts on his head were different
‘Today Ijin looks like a normal highschooler too’
‘Ijin’s uniform suits his silver hair’
‘Ijin’s smile~’ the thought of 001’s smile drew a little smile on his face, almost unnoticeable, but he couldn’t stop himself from enjoying Ijin’s happiness.
Just as he enjoyed seeing Ijin act like a ‘normal’ kid, he also felt bitterness every single time he noticed that women were extremely focused on him, especially when it comes to high schoolers like him, there were a few girls that were almost always focused on Ijin, enough that 002 now knew their faces, but as much jealousy he felt towards them trying to approach Ijin, he couldn’t bring himself to do anything not matter how much he wanted to.
Even though he knew he didn’t hate nor blame his former leader, he couldn’t bring himself to treat him like he used to, he couldn’t help but being harsh on him, even when he was the one who knew better than anyone else how much he cares about 001, he had to maintain the distance between them. For their own sake.
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A -Poink- sound was heard, -Poink- again, 002 was hitting his own head against the wall, his eyes showed how upset he was.
‘I was too harsh’
Another poink was heard
‘That expression… it was the same as when I almost killed him back then’ A long sigh left his mouth.
‘I don’t want to see him make that face again’
After a few minutes of him hitting his own head against the wall, and both 004 and 008 exchanging glances of WTF expressions, he finally stopped himself and went back to Ijin’s town, he made up his mind, he would look for 001 and properly talk to him this time.
Ijin glanced at the corner of the street and silently followed 002, he followed him to the same exact building in which they fought once, and silently demanded an explanation for 002’s sudden appearance, 002 knew what he was thinking, and began talking.
-001, do you perphaps… have a girlfriend?-The seriusness in his face didn’t reflect how ridiculous this question felt for him.
As for Ijin, his eyes shock for a brief moment, but as he denied, his eyes expressed certain sadness, as if he just hurt him where it hurts the most.
002 realized that expression and his heart just felt more uneasy.
‘Ijin, Why are you making that expression again?’ he didn’t say a word, but his mind was a total chaos.
-What’s with that look?- 002 asked as if his mind wasn’t blaming him for everything, his expression darkened and he was almost smirking as he was trying to hide how much that expression was chasing him.
-I just .. don’t feel ready for something like a relationship, and I don’t think I’ll ever be… I don’t believe I even deserve something like that.- Ijin answered, but, unlike most times, he wasn’t looking at 002’s eyes as he did.
- …001, come closer.
Although unsure of what 002 was planning , Ijin still did as he said.
From 001’s perspective, 002 seemed upset, but he couldn’t tell about what exactly, did he perphaps say something he shouldn’t? Yet, he felt it was something he had to admit, it was the truth, his truth.
Once Ijin was a few inches away from 002, the later raised his right arm, Ijin didn’t feel any intention or indication of attack, he stayed still, but was ultimately taken by surprise when 002’s hand began to pat his hair. Trusting that a person won’t attack you, isn’t equal to expect them to ease your grief after all.
Ijin, stared at him in confusion as he expected an explanation
-002… why was that?-
- I don’t like that expression in your face, Ijin.- 002 said that as he tried to calm his heart rate, it was beating way faster than usual, and he was too focused on calming himself down to realize what he just said.
-…- Ijin didn’t say a word, he just kept staring at him, his eyes shining more than usual, and 002 could also see traces of disbelief in his eyes, 002 could not come to the realization of what happened for him to make that face, although he could say it was somehow cute. He slowly took his hand off Ijin’s hair as he tried to understand what was the reason for the sudden change in the atmosphere.
-What?-002 asked as demanding an explanation from 001, he sounded rather impatient but 001 didn’t seem to care.
-My name. You just called me by my name.-as Ijin explained, 002 came to the realization that in his mind he has been calling 001 by his real name ever since he learnt his name by investigating about him, and before he could say anything, he noticed, Ijin was now giving him a little smile, that same smile which 002 couldn’t help but cherish more than what he thought he would ever do. 002 was stunned for a moment, he wasn’t sure about how he should react, and Ijin took that moment to approach him, his arms wrapped arround him and his forehead was now resting in 002’s shoulders. 002 was surprised at first, he couldn’t even focus on his own embarrassment for saying his name out loud, he finally saw in person that beautiful smile of his, and now, Ijin was giving him a hug, all of this was making his heart race, he barely could think, and after a brief moment, he began to caress Ijin’s hair again.
‘Ijin is so close…’
-002, do you want to go eat something?- Ijin asked as he stopped hugging him, still softly smiling at him.
-It’s ok I guess- 002 immediately answered avoiding 001’s gaze.
002 was looking at Ijin as he was opening a triangle shaped kimbap, for some reason, Ijin looked proud of himself for being able to do so, and 002 was surpressing a giggle, then he attempted to do the same.
-Do it above the table, it might fall otherwise.-001 explained and 002 did as he said.
He was right, for some reason it fell, although it wasn’t a big deal, he would have eaten it even if it fell over the ground.
As they finished eating the food Ijin said he would like, 002 finally asked him about what happened before.
-Ijin- he decided to call him by his name, it made him so happy before, and he thought it was a priority to hide the fact that he was 001, it was his excuse to call him by his name out loud, just as he does in his mind- why would you say you don’t deserve it?- his eyes were focused in every slightly reaction Ijin could have.
Ijin glaced at him for a moment before start talking
-I don’t think someone would accept having a relationship with someone who has killed hundreds of people, and it wouldn’t be fair to hide it from them neither, plus...- Ijin said that with a sad look over his face and let out a sigh, and 002 understood why, Ijin has been hiding his past from his friends, coworkers and acquaintances, aside from his family, he couldn’t be sure if they would accept him despite his past if they knew, for a moment, 002 thought it might be harder living a normal life than what he thought.
002 awaited a few seconds before talking.
-I don’t see any problem with being selfish when it comes to that.- 002 said that looking at his eyes with seriusness.
Ijin stared at him wondering what he meant.
-You said it wouldn’t be fair for the other person, but what about you?-
Ijin muttered
-I…-
-that aside, don’t I meet the ‘requirements’ myself?- he made a little smirk while saying that, but immediately after he said the whole sentence, he froze.
‘****, I said it out loud’
All 002 could wait for to escape from the embarrassment was that 001 could take it as a joke, but knowing that idiot that uses to be dense as **** that won’t be the case.
Ijin glanced at him once more, and asked.
-What do you mean?-
‘Of course Ijin wouldn’t let it slide’
002 now had no option. He took a deep breath before start talking and attempted to smirk to reassure himself, but the sole thought that it was 001’s feelings he was talking about, he couldn’t bring himself to do so and he gave 001 a genuine reassuring little smile.
-What if that person was me?, come to think of it, it was me who taught you how to fight back in the camp, teaching you how to deal with love, that wouldn’t be bad for me at all.-
002 could say that Ijin looked both confused and sad. 002 began to move slowly towards Ijin, and as he did, he spoke
-Back then, I taught you how to fight by sparing against you -His right hand behind Ijin’s head, pulled Ijin towards him and just when Ijin was a few inches away he stopped to continue speaking- now, I can teach you how to love, by loving you.- his lips softly pressed against Ijin’s and after making sure that Ijin wasn’t trying to push him away or showing uncorfortableness, he began to give him a few light kisses. During that brief moment, Ijin was stunned but by the time 002 was giving him pecks, he couldn’t help but to slightly tilt towards him to get another one.
Once 002 stopped, he slowly retreated a few inches away, 002 was able to feel his ears burning down, just as Ijin was able to see them shining bright red.
Now that 002 was in front of Ijin after kissing him, he was barely resisting the urge of running away from the spot in a instant.
-Then, what is your answer?- 002 asked him trying to avoid Ijin’s gaze, he was too nervous but he tried his best to not let it be seen. Just as he decided that overthinking much about his own nervouness made things harder for him ,thank God he realized, he decided to focus on something else, thus, he gave Ijin a short glance again.
‘Ijin looks nervous as well, but he seems… like he is still hiding something’
- there’s something you aren’t telling me, are you?
Ijin, as he was trying to calm himself down, nodded and 002 noticed that his eyes were tearing up, but he seemed like he was holding his tears in front of 002. Ijin turned his face away and 002, as in response, began to pat his head again. His heart was sinking, his mind was blaming him for Ijin’s reaction, he didn’t intend to make him cry, he had never seen him cry before in first place.
‘Ijin...’
Although his mind was a complete caos that was only being mean towards him, he kept patting Ijin’s hair, he then moved his chair even closer to his, and this time, he softly moved Ijin closer to him, letting him rest his head on his shoulder while still caressing him, he was never the type to be comfortable with physical contact, but he couldn’t help but recurre to it now that he couldn’t be sure about his words.
As for Ijin, he really was holding down his tears, he found this whole situation overwhelming, once 002 let him rest on his shoulders, he silently began to cry, hesistation was stopping him from being completely honest, but after witnessing 002’s actions, he slowly made up his mind and choose to speak.
-002… I’m still not sure if I deserve this.-
002 stayed silent for a few seconds, thinking that he knew what was troubling him, and sighed before asking.
- don’t deserve what?, Love? -
- forgiveness.- Ijin gave his answer and 002 was sure what he meant, after all, under their own rules, Ijin was a traitor, no matter if everyone else agreed they mustn’t kill him, no matter if he wasn’t the one who killed the others, he was still a traitor. And a traitor wouldn’t be trusted again. A traitor, wouldn’t be one of us again.
Sigh- Ijin- 002 stared at him as he spoke, looking at his direction even if Ijin wasn’t- Do you trust my judgement?, not just mine, but the others’s too?-
Ijin lifted up his head, his eyes blurred, wondering what he could possibly mean by that.
-We made the choice of letting you be. Even if you don’t think you deserve it, we do, so don’t dare to doubt it ever again, understood?- 002 knew he was being hard on him, but he wasn’t good with emotions and decided it was a better approach this way.
Yet, his mind was blaming him again.
‘I went too far’
-Ijin, even if you refuse, my offer is in effect, either way you accept it or decide it’s not time yet… you’ll still have me by your side.- his voice trembled as he spoke, his heart racing as if it was running for its life, but he felt he needed to say it being himself, not the harsh 002 who is usually hard to approach and hides his emotions and weakness, not as Ijin’s mentor, he had long passed that stage, he was talking as the boy who grew up fond of the boy in front of him, the boy he couldn’t help but fall in love with.
-Aren’t you going to say anything, Ijin?- calling him by his name, in less than a day, it felt as the most common occurrence now.
After some seconds, Ijin gave him a little smile, his eyes still blurry, his face blushing, when he finally spoke, he had also made a choice.
-Thank you, 002-
Before 002 could process what to say, Ijin tilted slightly towards him, and softly kissed him on the cheek.
-I accept.