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Natalie crept her way up the stairs, coming to a halt at the door that was labeled "Number 1". She raised a hand to knock but hesitated. She shouldn't do this. It's not like she was a part of their family or anything.
She was just Vanya's friend from college. A friend who didn't even know Vanya had siblings until a late night with a few too many drinks that resulted in Vanya spilling the family secrets to her. A friend who coached Vanya through a panic attack the night of her book release when the crowd was much bigger than either of them had anticipated. A friend who in some weird twist of luck, fate, or circumstance, had wound up being dragged into the insanity that was currently happening.
But the look on Luther's face.....the sheer horror and shame that took over once he realized that his body had been exposed to the others. The way he ran off in order to hide away from possible judgment and ridicule. Natalie knew that feeling all too well. She had to do something.
She threw caution to the side and knocked quickly but firmly on the door. "Luther? It's Natalie. Is it okay if I come in?" She waited for a response. She was soon rewarded by a half hearted mumble coming from behind the door.
Natalie opened the door, greeted by the sight of ripped clothing on the floor, smashed pieces of vinyl records and the heartbreaking form of Luther curled up on his bed. His large frame nearly overflowed the poor mattress, and it looked like he had thrown the comforter over himself quickly. He must have wanted to hide the sight of himself to others.
"What is it? Here to come stare at the freak of nature?" He asked, his tone sad and defeated. "Or did one of the others send you to come drag me back down there?"
Natalie shook her head. "No, it's just me. Would it be okay if I joined you?" She asked, pointing over towards the bed. He stared at her for a long moment, then gave a quick nod.
Stepping carefully into the room, she managed to set herself on a free space on the bed. She tapped her fingers a few times on the bed, the sheets felt new and soft. "I know it's not really my place to ask this but, are you okay?" She said quietly, hoping that he would take her question as kindness, not cruelty.
Luther let out a harsh laugh. "Okay? I just spent four years on the Moon, my father is dead, our house gets broken into and shot up, and now everyone has seen the monster that I got turned into. How exactly would I be okay right now?"
Natalie cringed at his words, hiding her eyes away from him. She should have thought about that. She knew Luther had seen the stunned looks on his siblings faces when Luther had stood back up from getting the chandelier crushed on him. He had run off before anyone could talk to him.
Keeping her gaze focused on one of the toy places littered across the ceiling, she pressed on. "I'm sorry. I should have taken that into consideration. When Vanya invited me to the funeral, I wasn't sure how to react. She seemed so...." Natalie trailed off, looking for an appropriate term to describe her friends lack of outward emotion towards the demise of the man she called family.
"Vanya. She acted like Vanya." Luther filled in for her. "Ever since we were teens, she's acted kinda like a doll in toy house. Waiting to be told how to react to things or what she's expected to say." Natalie felt the bed shift under his weight as he sat up. "Mom said it was because of her medicine. They had to up it after Five disappeared. She didn't take him being gone well."
Natalie nodded her head. "I heard. Believe it or not, drunk Vanya is a very open Vanya. She told me about her rituals after he went missing. The lights and the sandwiches. Or how she would collect blank notebooks with art or famous quotes on them. She wanted him to have plenty of space to do his equations when he came back home."
Luther gave a quiet hum at the information. "That...wasn't in her book." Natalie finally turned her head to look at him. He seemed shocked. She gave him a sad smile. "There were alot of things that weren't in the book. But it doesn't mean they're not there."
Luther shuffled to the edge of the bed, letting his feet meet the floor next to hers. After chewing on his words for a minute, he spoke up. "Did she ever talk to you about the rest of us?" He gave a soft cough. "Like me maybe?" His voice curious, but holding caution.
Natalie responded with a grin. "You mean like how you gave the best piggyback rides when you were little? When you wanted to play Knights and Dragons with Diego but accidentally broke his toy sword so you gave him your new Walkie Talkies to make up for it? Or when there were thunderstorms, you invited everyone to sleep over in your room because you knew the sound scared Klaus and Ben at night and you wanted them to feel safe. The big brother always there to scare away the nightmares."
Luther had a small smile on his face as she talked, the little trip down memory lane briefly bringing him out of his funk. Until her last comment, that is.
"Yeah. Big is one word to use for it." He said, throwing a disgusted look towards his body. Natalie was reminded of what brought her up here to begin with. "I understand if you don't want to answer but what happened?" She asked, her eyes drifting back to the wreckage on the floor.
Luther's voice was cold as he replied. "There was a mission a few years ago. It went badly. I almost died. This," he gestured to himself with one hand, "is what Dad had to do so I would survive."
Natalie blinked slowly, digesting the information that Reginald Hargreeves had readily done an insane experiment in the hopes of saving one of his children. (At least that's what she hoped to herself, not wanting to voice the alternative.)
"Were you scared?" He shook his head. "No," his tone softer. "Not at the time at least. But apparently I was in a coma for about a few months. When I woke up, this was what I had turned into." Luther pulled the blanket from around himself, allowing her to see a bit of his torso. "After I realized what had happened, I went a little crazy. Broke every mirror I looked into. Wouldn't come out of my room for a month. Pogo and Mom tried to help but they didn't understand."
"He did it to save me. I understand that. I should be grateful." Luther put a hand on his knee, starting to squeeze. "But I didn't ask for this. For my body to be like this. I'm not the brother they had anymore."
Natalie's head snapped up at that. "Why on earth would you say that?" He leaned back a bit at her sharp tone, surprised at the younger girl's sudden anger. "Natalie, you saw the way they looked at me. Even Allison." He pulled the blanket back around him tight, trying to hide away.
"Yeah. I did see. And I dare any of them to say anything, especially in front of me. There's alot of things I won't stand for Luther and bullies are pretty high up on the list!" She hadn't meant to shout, but her temper had gotten away from her.
Luther looked at her with a stunned gaze. Realizing her strong reaction, Natalie let out a sigh and reached out a hand, palm facing up. Thankfully, Luther understood and placed his much larger hand in hers. She gave it a small squeeze.
"Luther, look at me. I'm not exactly a runway model over here. I've been 'big', or 'plus-sized', or 'curvy' pretty much my whole life. I'm 26 now and I've been on so many diets or exercise plans it's practically a joke. None of them ever worked and I got angry. I...I did some stupid stuff I'm not proud of and only wound up hurting myself."
"I know about not liking your body. About feeling like you're the biggest person in the room and wanting to hide because you're scared someone is gonna bring it up. And sadly, you start to want to be invisible for so long, that's what winds up happening." Natalie's leg started to bounce lightly. She could feel the edges of a panic attack starting to form, but dammit. This deserved to be said.
"I didn't want people to look at me because of my weight. But that didn't mean I wanted them to forget about me completely. I was more than what I looked like and shame on them for forgetting that." She reached out a hand to place it where Luther's heart sat. "And so are you. This, Luther, this is you. Your heart and your mind." Luther brought a slow hand up to cover hers.
"I know it hurts. To look around and see other people who don't have these problems. That have never cried in a dressing room because nothing they like fits. Or being scared that a crush will laugh in your face if they ever found out how you feel. But please believe me when I say that there is so much more out there." Natalie was surprised when she felt a tissue suddenly against her face. She hadn't even realized a few tears had fun down her face.
She took the tissue, dabbing at her cheeks a few times and taking a deep breath. "I know it's not the same and I'm sorry. But I don't want you to feel alone in this." Silence fell between them. Both just looking around the room, trying to compose clearer thoughts. Luther broke the quiet. "Do you still feel that way?" He asked softly.
She shrugged one shoulder. "Some days. I get distracted easily and that helps. Others are a bit rougher. It's part of the the reason I'm so grateful for your sister. She'll let me bitch and whine for a bit, let me get out my thoughts and eventually tells me pull my head out my ass."
He let out a shocked laugh at her words. "Vanya told you that?" Natalie sent back a teasing grin. "Not in those exact words. But she'll let you say your piece when you need to. All she asks is you returning the favor."
She gently nudged him. "I'm pretty sure that will include a certain brother who has been up on the Moon for a fair bit. Just saying." Luther scratched at his beard. "You met those numbskulls. Do you really think they'll be able to accept this?"
A loud thump down the hall interrupted them. It seemed like Five was finally back from wherever he had gone to. "I think they're your family. And Family can drive you up and over the wall alot of times but they'll still have your back when you need them. Try giving them a chance. Like you did with me."
Luther nodded his head. "We should probably go see what's going on downstairs. Leaving them all together might end up in another funeral." He said, sounding the most relaxed he had all evening.
Natalie agreed, standing up to brush off her skirt. "I'll meet you downstairs when you're ready, okay?"
"Wait," Luther stopped her before she took a step. "Listen, um I appreciate this. It was nice to finally talk it out with someone else. Even if we don't really know each other." She smiled at him. "Oh honey, I got news for you. You guys are stuck with me now. Good luck getting rid of me."
"Even with everything that's happened? You really wanna stick around?" She shrugged her shoulders. "What can I say? I bond quickly and I'm an affectionate person. Vanya probably can't tell you how many times I snuck up on her to give her a hug."
That last part caught his attention. "Huh." He said, "I hadn't really thought about it. I don't think I've had a real hug since before I went to the Moon." Natalie took a sharp breath, silently cursing Reginald Hargreeves for putting this human version of a Golden Retriever through that ordeal.
"Well, that needs to be fixed immediately." Natalie opened her arms wide, waiting for him to get the memo. Luther looked unsure, his hands opening and closing as he stood before her. She snapped her fingers. "Look at me big guy. I just barred my soul here and both of us could probably really use this. So please, come here."
He took those two steps, walking into the circle of her arms. Very carefully wrapping his arms around her back in a gentle, but firm embrace. Personally, Natalie thought it was one of the best hugs she ever had. Luther was warm and despite her face being slightly squished into his chest, it felt incredibly safe.
He must have gotten a bit of his bravery back because once they got comfortable, he decided to go fully Bear Hug. Natalie let out a involuntary squeal as her feet left the ground, feeling like a little kid again.
It ended all too soon. Luther let his arms go slack and she dropped gently to the floor. She looked up at his face and her heart melted at the tears clouding up his eyes. "You were right," he said, his voice shaky. "I really needed that." He gave her a watery grin.
Natalie jumped up to give him another squeeze around the neck. "Remember, heart and mind. The others will see that too, even if it takes them a little while."
She made her way over to the door. Luther headed to his bathroom, grabbing another turtleneck as he passed the closet. One hand on the knob, she turned back to him and gave him another small smile. "Still gonna protect me if the others say something?" He asked her with a smirk on his face.
Natalie beamed as she shot him a wink. "Just let me see them try."