Chapter Text
“Asgore, could you make sure those chrysanthemums are perked up today? It’s parent teacher night and I’d like to put on a good face.” The once king nodded dutifully at the principle of the school he now worked for. She said her thanks and waited for him to say something. Though she was technically his boss, she was aware of who he was and couldn’t help herself but wait for an official dismissal. It never came and so away she went. Many years had passed since he left the underground. Many years since he was no longer king of the monsters.
With Papyrus and Undyne managing relations with the humans, Asgore was free to keep the grounds of the school. It kept him close to Toriel, a fact that Asgore didn’t know whether or not he appreciated. With Frisk gone off to college, exploring the world, the only thing that grew between the ex couple was silence. Frisk had tried their best to get them to reconcile with no avail. Some things just weren’t possible even with the utmost determination. Asgore smiled as he worked. His new life was better than he ever could have hoped. The large variety of plant life on the surface filled him with mighty wonder, as each kind of plant needed its own special care. He would do his best to make the school look good tonight.
Many days like this one passed with barely a notice. As he tended to his precious garden, Asgore overheard talk of a faculty meeting. As he was not part of the teaching staff, he paid it no mind, until he overheard Toriel talking. He couldn’t make out what she said but the scene had caused his fur to bristle for a reason he couldn’t place. She was speaking with some authority about a topic he knew nothing about. It reminded him of how things used to be. For a brief moment, Asgore lamented how Toriel never spoke more than a few sentences to him at a time. They had fallen into a expert ballet of never being in the same room for too long. Their little child saviour was gone, and their friends had moved on to other things. The little seedlings in Asgore’s hand were growing cold, and he knew it. Planting them before frost could set in occupied the monster’s mind for the time being. It was awfully brisk this afternoon.
On his way home, Asgore decided to stop by a clothing store. He knew his fur could insulate him against even the harshest cold, but he still enjoyed any old excuse to wear a comfortable sweater. As he looked upon the various choices presented to him, Asgore considered how much free time he had. Even though gardening was his passion, the winter seasons always left him with want of something to do. Just as an attendant asked if he could offer any help, the large goat man smiled and made his way to the exit. Politely he refused the man’s offer, and made his way to the craft store. It was a bit aways but Asgore enjoyed the walking. He had a plan in his head to pick up a guide to knitting and some yarn to go with it. He smiled in anticipation, something the once king rarely did these days.
Asgore cursed his clumsy hands. He sat in his monster sized armchair, his den lacking the fire of a hearth. His large fingers weren’t fit for the task he currently pleaded them to do. The oversized knitting needles made the large furry beast holding them look comical. Over and over they fell from his hands, Asgore not knowing when to strengthen his grip or to relax it. The tangled blue mess, that once in his imagination was a sock, fell limply onto his round paunch. His soldier’s physique was a long distant memory, and the would-be darner sighed at his failures. He looked into the empty fireplace for a moment. On its mantle where various photos and souvenirs from his loved ones. Glancing over them, his eyes rested on a photograph the school had taken some years ago. It was a graduation photo with all the kids and faculty standing around with happy smiles. Toriel stood to the left of the frame with Asgore towering behind her. She looked so radiant, surrounded by the children she loved. Asgore now mirrored the same sad smile he held in the photo. It filled him with determination.
The next day came, as it always did, and Asgore walked to school just as he always did. Normally he kept all his greenkeeping tools in a shed at the school, but today he walked with a yellow flowered tote bag filled with his newfound hobby. Spools of thread meekly poked out the top, and the gentle giant made his way to work. The sight earned a few stares and more than few grins. For once, Asgore was excited to take his break today to work on his knitting. He found himself secretly hoping Toriel would approve. Without the notice of anyone, the smile on his face crept downward ever so gently. He reminded himself he still had a job to do and so he went to do it.
By lunchtime, his knitting had not improved. Asgore sat on a bench in the recess yard, his flower bag beside him. Looking up in exasperation he happened to see the ivory white figure of Toriel leading a young girl by the hand. He saw the joy in her face and also smiled, offering a great big wave to the pair. She saw him and offered a small one of her own, the little girl fanning her hand back and forth with glee. Asgore humbly picked up the tangled ball of pink that had dreams of becoming a hat and presented it to Toriel. His smile was genuine and hopeful and Toriel offered up an imitation of her own. She gave an approving nod and continued on with the girl at her side, never slowing down. The once king may have been a simple man reduced to an even simpler life, but he knew when his ex wife was smiling for someone else’s benefit. He came to know it all too well in the past years since leaving the underground.
Despite herself, Toriel appreciated the colorful new look that the school grounds had adopted since the snow started melting. She knew that Asgore had talent for keeping plants and the garden surrounding the school never failed to impress visiting parents. But this year around she noticed more varieties of flowers showing up, some flowering and some shyly tucked away in mysterious buds. Toriel let a smile creep on her delicate face, excited to see what the bloom would hold. It would be nice to have a small change of scenery when she graded papers. Asgore could almost blend into the frozen background if not for the awkward looking wool poncho he was wearing. Toriel’s smile grew ever wider when she noticed the large bag of fertilizer he was carrying, it giving the effect of some kind of garden santa. The garb failed to cover even half of his body as he had to lift it up to carry the heft sack. The oaf had forgotten holes for his arms. As he carefully made his way across the slippery grounds, Toriel’s head stared back down to test she was grading. Her duty to her children pushed out any memory of the event. For the rest of the day, she avoided looking out the window.
Even without the admiration of Toriel, the school grounds practically exploded with color when spring came. Pinks and yellows, blues and purple, some pastel and some vibrant. Many people and especially couples took the time to circle the block the school sat in the middle of. Every side of the magnificently arranged garden had something new to offer. Bushes and vines crept around the school, while the small flowers that hugged the sidewalk invited children to play. It was the last days of the school semester and Asgore dedicated himself to giving the children a beautiful farewell to his beloved school. Toriel’s students frequently commented on the amazing display of colors and scents, and she had no choice but to agree. Much to their excitement, it was time for recess and she let them out to enjoy themselves. Screams of delight filled the air. The once queen smiled wide at the joy she saw in her children. She observed them playing and dancing and her heart swelled with satisfaction. She saw Asgore picking up and playfully tossing one of her students and for just the briefest moment, she felt pride in her companion. Toriel suddenly bit her lip before going inside to lunch with her fellow teachers. No one, not even she, would notice the dampness upon her cheek as she walked quickly down the hall.
The final day of classes closed in without any fanfare, and all the teachers and students clamoured about how they planned to spend the summer. Toriel laughed with her friends as they drank tea in the garden. Asgore walked up to them, his duties currently over and done with for the day. The other teachers only had the slightest impression of the tension that manifested whenever Toriel and Asgore were this close, but they endured the slight discomfort. Asgore greeted each of them with a grin before saying his hello to the furry woman in the center. They responded politely and each of them sensed without a word that he wanted a private moment. They all excused themselves in turn, their admiration for the dedicated monster proving itself. Asgore stood nervously as Toriel smiled at him. It was warm and kind. His fur bristled up as looked at her. Toriel diffused the tenseness by complimenting his handiwork. “The grounds are looking very splendorous this year, Asgore. And don’t think I haven’t noticed you trying to impress me with your yarn work. It isn’t working.” He laughed at the gentle insult. It was his turn to feel pride.
“Well, you know, I… wanted to keep myself busy. Frisk doesn’t really need us anymore.”
Toriel nodded in approval. “You know just as well as I do they never really needed us.” Again Asgore laughed nervously. He responded, “You're right Tori.. I mean Toriel. You’re always right…” Even after so long a time, he could not betray his habit. The gentle conversation between the two betrayed the centuries of time they had spent together. It was not easy for either of them to change. Before the moment weighed too heavily, Asgore continued, “Listen ah… I wanted to give you something. As a thank you for…. for being so great to work with. Here at the school. I know we don’t… talk much but I’m glad to have you around.” Much to his relief she smiled and returned the sentiment. “Asgore you don’t need to give me anything. The children love playing in your flowers. I think having something other than gardening to focus on has really brought out your creative side! There’s nothing more you can give me to make me happier.” Asgore found himself hoping that wasn’t true but quickly put the unwanted thought out of his horned head. “No I know, but I worked really hard on this present. Um, I’ll have to go get it from the toolshed though. I kept it there as a surprise.” Toriel shook her head with a soft chuckle. “It’s okay Asgore. Just bring it to my office. I have to go there to organize some things anyway. It’s almost time for summer vacation!”
Asgore quickly exclaimed , “Great!” before leaving the goat woman behind. He knew he would not disappoint her.
Asgore carried a box that looked relatively tiny in his monstrous paws. He had forgotten to wrap it and hoped that Toriel wouldn’t mind. He almost burst with pride as he made his way past kids and teachers alike running down the hallway, not wanting to wait for the vacation. Toriel kept her word and sat in her little office tussling some papers. The school board decided she was the best one suited to craft the lesson plans each year and granted her a room for her appointed task. It wasn’t long before they were the only ones on the floor, nearly all the classrooms having been vacated. She beamed at him with open eyes. “Hi Toriel. Here’s the present I made for you. I forgot to wrap it, but I hope you still like it.” She ignored his silly concern and open the box to find a big purple sweater. Her mouth gaped in surprise. Asgore smiled as he said “It’s a sweater! I know you love those so I decided to make one for you.”
Toriel thanked him as she took one of his hands in her own. “You didn’t need to, Asgore, but I do love it anyway.” Asgore let out a sigh of relief and continued, “I’m glad. I even learned how to do lettering.” She gave his hand a gentle squeeze and picked the sweater to see the rest of it. “Do you like it? I know you're a fan of puns. I remember back when you woke me up and…. oh no…” Toriel stared at the sweater with a look of abject horror. Instantly Asgore knew what he had done. Regret filled him like frozen lead, and his fur stood on end. He never considered this might happen. The words echoed in his head, “you’re so stupid, you’re so stupid” over and over. Asgore couldn't believe he let this happen. Tears were streaming down Toriel’s soft face, her hands shaking as she gripped the purple thing. She threw it at the once king and yelled at him, “Get out Asgore! Get out and don’t talk to me ever again!”. He clutched the sweater in his hand and swiftly moved out of the tiny office and into the hall. He hesitated to look back and say something before a textbook collided dully with his face. She was still crying for him to leave. Asgore walked away looking at the crumpled sweater in his hands as a handful of onlookers poked their heads out in curiosity. Carefully stitched into the front of the ill thought present was the phrase “#1 Momster.”
Slowly and thoughtlessly, Asgore’s footsteps carried him home. Cars blurred by and man and monster alike passed the former royalty without so much as a glance. His eyes were anchored to the words he had carelessly chosen. He couldn’t remember why he ever thought to use the very same lame joke that Toriel had made in anticipation for their first child. The first of many children his stupidity would take from her. “Why?” The question rang in his empty mind. It reverberated in his memory, each time coming back with a different meaning. While he stood waiting for a streetlight that had already changed multiple times, a little girl skipped passed him and stopped. “Wow mister monster!”, she said with bewilderment. “That’s a cool sweater! Are you gunna put it on?” Asgore’s head slowly turned to meet the energetic young girl. The ribbons in her hair swayed gently in the wind as she stood on tiptoe to read the letters . Without waiting for an answer she said to herself “I wish I got a sweater like that.” Still silent, Asgore stuck his hands out at her. With an ecstatic expression the girl squealed “Really!? You’re giving it to me just like that?” His face never changed as he waited for her to take it from him.
Empty handed the goat monster found his way into his home. He stood at the precipice of his abode and for the first time in his life, examined his choice of housing. Either by foolishness or fate, his surface home was a near replica of his previous underground houses. He closed the door behind him and dragged his feet along the wooden floor, stopping to rest a clawed hand on the wall. The opposite side of the hallway fashioned a painting of a serene lakeside, yellow flowers dotting the grass. The once king lashed at it with his other hand, tearing it down from its fragile hook. He rammed the dustless space where it had been with his mighty horns and looked upon the damage. Horrified by his violent outburst, Asgore dragged his sullen form into his fireless living room. He had forgotten his knitting at the school, and the empty space by his arm chair seemed to taunt him. He slumped his massive body into the seat and faced away from the mantle. He gazed into nowhere and thought of nothing, the arm rests clutched by impotent fingers. The sunshine spilled into his humble lodge and it was then he realized he had sat there through the night.
Sighing at the wasted day he got up to make some tea. He grabbed at the brand he could reach and set the stove on. Asgore reached into the cabinet where he kept his kettle and retrieved it, his arms performing the familiar task automatically. As his other hand turned on the sink, the kettle dropped and clattered on the kitchen tiles. He looked at the offending hand and realized he was shaking. The once king brought his hands in front of him and stared at the memory of the haunted gift for Toriel. His hands shook so much that he gripped the counter for support. The wood creaked in protest. Moisture fell into the sink, its faucet still shut closed. He didn’t know how long he remained in that position but Asgore began to hear the sounds of school free children playing. The once king looked out his window above the sink and watched them jumping and racing down the sidewalk. It filled him with…
The once luxurious greenery that had surrounded the school had fallen into disarray without its caretaker. It was the end of summer and people had begun to wonder what happened to the previously beautiful sight. Faded flower petals littered the ground and without regular watering, the shrubs and vines began to wilt. Trash spoiled the forsaken garden’s beauty and weeds grew without regard. What was once green, turned brown, and the delightful aromas lost themselves to the wind. The sunflowers no longer stood proudly to face the sky. The pear tree’s branches cluttered the ground. All the hard work the groundskeeper put into the plants faded away with the summer break. And no one asked why.
Clamour broke out amongst the teachers. Fall had begun and classes were due to start in the next hour. The principle rubbed her thumb against the rest of her fingers. “It’s going to be all right. Im sure he’s just late is all.” Her pitiful excuse did nothing to calm the rest of faculty. She truly felt for Asgore after hearing just enough about the events of the last school day. Despite her feelings, it was still his duty to care after the plants at her school. Her employees worried about the disheveled experience of their workplace and made their complaints known. She looked around for an explanation and found none. Toriel looked down at the ground listlessly. She ignored the poor condition of the school’s exterior as it was her duty to her children that she remain stoic. Toriel could not allow anyone to see the guilt on her face. She would not allow it.
Just half an hour before the first bell, a dingy yellow van puttered it's way down the street. Even at a distance, everyone recognized the big horns that jutted out the car window. Asgore was not comfortable sitting inside the tiny enclosure and had to stick his head out just to fit. Relief breathed out of the principal and she quickly recomposed herself to look authoritative. It was not like Asgore to drive to work and she prepared for the worst. As he closed in and parked his vehicle, most of the faculty headed back inside, their worries put to rest for the time being. Asgore walked right up this his employer and before he could open his mouth she berated him for his lateness and neglect. With a heavy frown he stammered out his apology, and though he was speaking to his boss, he stared at Toriel. She looked away from him as she waited to greet her new students. Seeing that the principle was not content with his apology he unlocked the back of the van he rented earlier that day and showed her why he had been late. Boxes of sweaters stuffed the back of the truck. “They’re for the new kids! They’re always so nervous on the first day of school and I thought… this might… cheer them up.”, Asgore explained. Frustrated but placated, she okay’d Asgores gesture of kindness as long he remembered his official duty as groundskeeper.
Asgore let himself smile weakly as it seemed he was out of trouble. Sure enough, parents arrived with children in tow and they were all greeted by the site of a pastel yellow van, crudely bannered with the word “Welcome!” on the side. Asgore stood next to it with his box of woolen gifts trying put on a happy face. As expected, the various parents were a bit confused but allowed their children to each take one from a box. His boss stood next to him giving nods and answers whenever they were prompted. Nervousness melted away as Asgore saw the smiling faces of children all around him. He tried to make a sweater in every color he could buy, some of them with simple stripes and patterns. A couple dozen of them sported inspiring phrases such as “Dinosaur Kid”, “Princess”, “Cool Dude”, and “School Rocks!” Each sweater was given a new owner in turn and soon the last of the boxes sat in the dusty van. Returning students were making their way inside as new ones were directed to their teachers, trying on their gifts. As he opened the last box Asgore saw the little girl from before, the one that sported the purple sweater he had meant for Toriel. Asgore looked at her and suddenly turned to Toriel.
Seeing that she noticed the little girl as well, Asgore began to worry. She covered her furred snout with a soft white hand, failing to cover the tears that ran freely from her face. Asgore handed the last box to his employer and attempted to console the upset monster. He walked away from his boss’ complaints to ask Toriel what was wrong before she dismissed herself to her class and quickly walked through the school doors, disappearing inside. Asgore calmed the worried children and told them where their classroom was. After directing them to the appropriate room, Asgore looked for Toriel. Seeing his distress, one teacher told him where she could be found. With a hurried “thank you”, Asgore nearly ran to the break room that was on the other side of the building.
Toriel cried into a plaid tea towel as she tried to hide in the corner of the room. She looked so frail to Asgore as he stepped through the door and closed it. When she noticed his entrance she yelled “Get out!” before covering her mouth with the soaked towel, as if covering it could take back the conspicuous shout. The words pierced Asgore’s chest as he remembered the last day of school. For only the second time in their lives, Asgore refused to listen to her. He slowly made his way close to her before she quickly ran to the other side of the room, bracing herself against the fridge door. “Toriel, I’m sorry but I need…. I need to know what’s wrong so I can fix it.” She sobbed deeply and pathetically tried to wipe more of her tears with scrap of cloth she held onto so tightly. “It’s you, Asgore! It’s you, you… stupid…”, she sputtered before heaving again into the abused cloth. She could see her tormentor’s confused expression as he stepped closer before waving the towel threateningly in front of her. “Why did you do this, Asgore? Why do you have to be…. a good person?” The words struggled through choked sobs and gasps. “Why couldn’t you just be the child killing bastard…. that I hated for so long. I waited in those ruins for… who knows what reason. Child after child left me. You took them from me Asgore. I can’t forgive you for that… and now here you are just… being good.” Her ruby eyes strained from the effort of her crying. “I hate you! I hate you so much and you’re just… the same old Gorey that would do anything to make someone smile… I don’t deserve this! I don’t deserve to hate someone who is so good.”
“You love everyone, don’t you?”, she asked, almost accusingly. “You can’t help yourself. It’s who you are… and I have to suffer for what you did! Why can’t you just be well enough in grief… why do you have to be… a good person? I don’t want to… I just….” Toriel clutched the poor towel to her moist snout. Asgore could do nothing but stand in silence and sadness. Every single day Asgore cursed his mistakes, and his own stupidity that caused them. His shoulders heaved with heavy breaths as he just stared at the woman who was once his wife. His fur laid weakly against his body. The words escaped him no matter how desperately he wanted to answer her. Toriel leaned into the corner she occupied as she began to hear the sounds of excited footsteps echoed down the hallway. Somehow managing to put herself together, Toriel grabbed some napkins to dry her tears with and rushed out the door to her awaiting students.
Asgore remained in his stance, never taking his eyes away from the little corner Toriel had just left. He felt as if that was the only thing he could ever do before remembering the promise he made to the principle. His stride full of intent, Asgore set out to do his job once more. In spite of the event, his mood actually improved over the course of the day. He loved to take care of plants, and once all the litter and weeds were pulled, some of the grandeur of his garden had begun to return. Toriel dutifully made her children feel welcome, reluctantly admitting that Asgore’s knitted wonders drastically improved the atmosphere of the school. Her students all wore smocks that were made to be one size fit all. They complimented their gifts, some of them even trading for their favorites. After much too long it was time again for the first recess the year and the kids hurried out into the yard. A young boy approached Asgore to ask a question. His sweater bore the phrase “Super Star”.
“What is it. my child? Are you having fun on your first day?”, Asgore asked. He offered a comforting smile which the child showed appreciation for, his own smile lacking a tooth or two.
“Are there any thorny bushes out here?”, he asked in a squeaky voice. Asgore asked him why he thought there were thorny bushes at the school. The child said back to him, “I saw you crying earlier. I thought maybe you pricked your finger”. Not wanting to make the child worry, he quickly dismissed his fears, telling him he just got splashed some water on his face. Happily the child turned and went to run around the garden with his new friends, Asgore smiling after him.
Out of her classroom windows, Toriel saw the exchange, her face refusing to show emotion. She looked at the broken man, kneeling down in his beloved garden, surrounded by garbage and neglect. With nothing to comfort him but dying plants and overgrown weeds she saw the man offer nothing but sweetness and joy to those around him. Noticing that he wasn’t taking a break, Toriel walked out into the yard. When she approached him, Asgore was too busy clearing some branches underneath a sad looking shrub to notice her. “I would love to see lavenders, on my side of the building.”, she said aloud. Asgore turned his head quickly, his horns almost catching on the shrub. His great big smile shone through the dirt and leaves that marked his unkempt fur. “Anything for you Tori… Toriel.”, he responded. Asgore swallowed heavily and started to gather his tools for this next task. Toriel turned away to return inside, her hands holding each other very tightly. She paused for a moment and turned her head before saying just loud enough for him to hear,
“It’s fine Asgore. Tori is… fine.” Without another word, the two of them returned to their work, each of them looking forward to lavenders in the fall.