Archive of Our Own ^beta

Levi breathed in the salty sea air, enjoying the breeze ruffling his hair and tickling his skin. He could feel the fresh air soothe his nerves and relax him. It was like the waves were carrying his worries and stresses away with the currents. 

It was the first time he was visiting the ocean, and choosing it as his vacation spot was a choice with no regrets. 

After a deal was successfully made at work, Levi decided to cash in his vacation days. He chose the sea, a place that for some reason always seemed to call to him.

Levi opened his eyes and noticed that at some point, someone had joined him on the sandy shores and he turned to look at them curiously. It was a young man with golden sun-kissed skin and chestnut hair that reached his shoulders.

He stood a few meters away, staring off into the horizon with sadness Levi wouldn’t have expected from such young a person. 

He wondered what was going through the brunet’s mind, what had his expression so dark and melancholic, his eyes sad and dim when they could be so bright and full of life.

Levi didn't understand why he knew that, or why his heart thudded with both excitement and sadness at the sight of the man like he was seeing an old friend whom he hadn’t seen in a long time when, as far as he knew, they had never met before.

A part of him wanted to approach the man, to ask what was troubling him, the feeling was hard to resist, it was like he had done that thousands of times before, even though he couldn’t recall having ever done that. 

Just as he was about to do so, the young man seemed to notice his presence and turned to look his way.

When teal eyes met pale blue, Levi wondered how eyes so beautiful could exist. He had never seen eyes that matched the colour of the ocean so perfectly before. He hadn’t expected to be met with such beautiful eyes and was mystified when they widened and lit up with recognition at the sight of him before they misted over and the young man’s expression crumbled into one of agony and torment, like a soul tortured for years and years. But within the man’s eyes was also something else that Levi couldn’t put his fingers on, but it was a sight just as odd.

Levi wanted nothing more than to approach the man, to walk right up to him and comfort him. Every cell in his body screamed at him to do so, the desire to comfort almost painful like a fist squeezing his heart in its grip. The feeling of nostalgia and longing was unbearable.

He couldn’t do anything though, before Levi could act on his instincts, the man turned away from him and he could only watch as the man walked away as if fleeing from him. It wasn’t until the man had fully disappeared out of sight while Levi stood there helplessly that he realized that the other feeling he had seen in the man’s eyes was a hint of relief.

Levi stood there by the shoreline confused, his palm on his chest as if it would hold back the pain threatening to crush his heart and force its way out while he tried to deal with the cocktail of confusing feelings the man had elected in him.

After spending a few hours gathering shells and thinking about the brunet he had seen earlier that day, the sun was setting and Levi’s stomach grumbled in protest, letting him know that he was hungry and that it had been hours since his last meal which was at breakfast, which he barely even ate much of, being that he wasn’t usually a breakfast person. 

He rushed to the hotel, a quaint thing by the sea, and put the shells and conches he had gathered away in his room, washing up before he left to seek out the seaside restaurant.

The restaurant was well known in the area to the point that people would come to the beach specifically to try the food.

Levi stood in the long line and waited for his turn. He glanced at the front of the line impatiently and his breath hitched when he found the young man from earlier a few people ahead of him in the line. 

Made sense, there were only two restaurants by the beach, and this one had a better reputation than the other with more variety in dishes, and seemed to carry the spirit of the sea within its walls.

The brunet was talking with a blond guy and a black-haired girl, the same wistful expression from earlier on his face, but this time, coupled with a hint of guilt whenever he looked at the two. Levi wondered what he had done to those two that would put such guilt in his eyes.

He also wondered why those two felt so familiar when, for all that he knew, he had never met either of them before either.

The brunet seemed to notice him once again as he looked Levi's way, this time, an awkward smile grazing his features as he waved, a wave Levi returned with one just as awkward as the brunet's smile had been while trying to pretend the flush colouring his cheeks at being caught staring didn't exist.

At some point, the line had moved along, and it was the trio's turn. Levi watched them quickly rattle an order before they were gone. Probably scheduled a pick-up. 

Levi's turn came before long and he sat at one of the tables outside facing the sea while he waited for his order to arrive.

Levi didn't have to wait long before his food arrived, and he thanked the waitress before he started on his meal, watching the waves crash onto the sandy shores before receding as he enjoyed his meal.

With his meal finished, he returned to his hotel room, the sun having set a long time ago. 

Levi's dreams that night were restless and plagued by weird dreams he'd never had before. Dreams of blood and death and giant creatures chasing him and others whom he could tell he cared about. 

For a moment, he thought he saw Hanji and Erwin there, but they were too blurred for him to see clearly. He could swear he saw the shapes of people he recognized from his workplace as well.

The most recognizable form was that of the young man he had seen at the beach who, in the dream, rode behind him on a horse through a forest, a desperate expression on his face, appearing to be at least a few years younger than the version of him Levi had seen by the sea.

The scene that followed was one of horror and death, corpses mangled and strewn everywhere, the sight of which left Levi sweating and his chest heaving when he woke up, the traces of his nightmare lingering in the air and reflected in the fear in his eyes.

Levi's never had such dreams before. Sure he'd had the occasional nightmare like any other person, but they were always nonsensical and all over the place, nothing like this, nothing that felt more like a forgotten memory rather than a dream.

And the weirdest part? It felt like the dreams were triggered by the sight of the young man, but Levi didn't know what to make out of that feeling. If he had watched a horror movie or read a book involving giants before, he would have thought that his brain was mixing the things that happened today with that, but that wasn't the case.

He had never come across a story that would warrant such a dream, not one for horror or gore, but he could easily imagine why he had dreamt of the man with how much he'd been occupying his mind during the past couple of days.

Still too riled up by the feelings of fear, helplessness, loss, and rage the nightmare he'd just had brought, Levi threw on his shirt, ignoring the way it stuck to his sweat-damp skin with a grimace and left the hotel, choosing to go for a walk by the beach during the early morning hours when there usually wouldn't be anyone, to calm down his frayed nerves.

Despite having wished to enjoy the beach alone, Levi wasn't too surprised when he found the man there, standing where he had been the first time Levi had seen him and staring out at the horizon where the sky met the sea as he had then.

The ocean-eyed man seemed to notice him and something flickered in his eyes, something Levi didn't understand, before he sighed in resignation. "Hi," He greeted, his voice deeper than Levi anticipated and cracking around that one little word, and he cleared his throat.

"Hi," Levi greeted back awkwardly, joining the man by the shoreline and thrilled that he was talking to him at all when before it felt like the man wanted nothing more than to avoid him for some reason.

It was silent for a while, neither wishing to disturb the quiet atmosphere, their gazes locked on the horizon. The only sounds filling the air were the sounds of the waves crashing into the sand and the calls of the early-rising birds preparing to hunt for food. 

"Since that first time I caught sight of you, it was like my soul was calling for you," Levi blurted out, turning to look at the man with a hint of awkwardness and confusion as he did. "Is that weird?"

The man shook his head. "No," He voiced. "It isn't. I felt the same." He admitted, his tone wistful and lonely.

"My name is Levi, by the way," Levi said, extending a hand for the man to shake.

The brunet smiled bitter-sweetly but accepted the gesture, shaking Levi's hand briefly before he pulled his hand back. "I'm Eren,"

"Eren…" Levi repeated, savouring the name and almost breathless by how nostalgic and familiar it felt on his tongue. It was like he had called that name a thousand times before.

His heart felt heavy in his ribcage, but there was a hope there that Levi didn't understand. A hope for what exactly? He certainly didn't know, but he couldn't ignore it. 

"This might be presumptuous, but…" Levi huffed awkwardly, scratching at the buzzed section of his undercut. "Want to join me for breakfast? I feel like I want to talk to you more."

Eren smiled, this time a smile that seemed to reach his eyes, brighten them up, and dispel some of the sadness that occupied them. "I would love that, Levi,"

As Levi walked ahead and Eren followed behind him, Eren gazed at Levi's back with a mix of sadness and relief. While it was sad, he was also glad that so far; he seemed to be the only one who remembered. It was an unexpected silver lining that the people he'd cared for most in his whole life didn't have to suffer the pain of the memories. 

That they didn't have to suffer the knowledge of all the things they had witnessed back then and all the things they had to do for their survival and freedom. Maybe the fact that he was the only one who remembered would be the chance he needed to atone for the horrible things he did in their past lives.

Eren sped up his pace until he was walking next to Levi, his heartbeat quickening in his chest when Levi looked up at him with a smile. In this life, Levi could smile more easily, unlike back then when he was hardened by loss, death, and war, and for that, Eren was glad.

The restaurant had just opened its doors for the day, and they sat together at one of the square tables, going over the menu together, leaning close enough to each other for Levi to feel Eren’s breath on his cheek as they contemplated what to order.

Their minds made up about what to eat, Levi went to the cash register to place in their order and pay for their meals. Eren had tried to talk him out of paying for both of them, but Levi had insisted that since he was the one who invited Eren for breakfast, he should be the one paying. In the end, Eren had to concede and let Levi treat him.

Levi returned to their table moments later and they engaged in small talk while they waited for their food to arrive.

Levi got to learn that Eren was 21 years old, a recently graduated art major who specialized in painting and photography. He had come to the beach with his two childhood best friends Mikasa who was studying to be a physical therapist and Armin who was studying to become a marine biologist, partially for a vacation because he had always loved the ocean, and partially because he wanted to do a photoshoot of it. 

Levi hadn’t noticed initially, too distracted by Eren’s beauty and the familiarity of him, but thinking back on it, when he had first seen Eren by the beach, he was carrying a camera. Eren must have seen the curiosity in Levi’s eyes because he promised to show Levi the photos he had taken later.

He also learned that they all lived in the same city within minutes of each other yet had somehow never come across each other before now.

Eren, on the other hand, learned that Levi was 30 years old, that he worked at a fashion company with his two best friends Erwin and Hanji as his bosses, and that he had known the two all his life, that Levi had just closed a difficult deal and decided to cash in some of his vacation days, and that he had chosen the ocean as his vacation spot because a part of him had longed for it and wanted to see it badly ever since he was a kid and seen a photo of it in a textbook, even though Levi didn’t know why.

Levi might not have known why, but Eren did, and his eyes softened. There was no arguing that Levi’s longing for the sea that up to that point he had never seen outside of photos before, not counting the times in their past lives, was Eren’s fault. Levi hadn’t cared for the ocean back then until Eren had come along and kept sharing his dream about seeing it, and at some point during their relationship, Levi had begun sharing that dream.

If not for that, they might not have met in this lifetime. Or if they did, chances are high it wouldn’t have been by the ocean. 

A part of Eren felt guilty that he had appeared in Levi’s life, there was the possibility that being around Eren could trigger the memories, even though, thankfully, even though they had felt drawn to him from the moment they had met, that hadn’t happened with Mikasa and Armin at least, despite having been around Eren all their lives.

Another part of Eren was glad that he’d found the captain, even though entirely coincidentally. Eren had and still loved Levi more than he could ever describe, even though back then, by the end, that might not have been so clear or believable. 

To save all those he loved from the death Marley and other nations wished them, Eren had to do horrid things for their freedom, and for it, he had to betray his friends and the love of his life. 

It hadn’t been easy to do, each step more painful than the other, but the knowledge that they would be free in the end gave him the strength to keep going.

And he succeeded. The price for their freedom was a heavy one, but he had gotten it in the end, and while he didn’t think his lover or friends would understand back then, he hoped that they would one day and he didn’t regret what he did to keep them safe. His only regret back then was that he passed before he could atone for what he had put them through.

The waitress bringing them their food pulled Eren out of his thoughts of the past and the horror it bore and returned him to the present where they were safe and sound and where he was sharing a table with Levi.

Even though there was a weird cloud of sadness and guilt that Levi couldn't figure out the reason behind hanging over the interaction, the breakfast date was more than just a success. 

To Levi's delight, breakfast led to lunch, this time joined by Mikasa and Armin whom Levi was fond of right away, something that didn't happen often. Lunch led to a dinner date, and to the exchange of phone numbers and the promise to meet again as that day was the last day of their vacation and they would head back home in the morning since Levi would have to return to work the day after, and Eren would have to go through the photos and check which ones to discard and which ones to submit to the photography contest he had signed up for. 

The date had ended on a good note, and to his relief, Levi could feel Eren relax around him, whatever it was that had been bothering him and causing the guilt Levi had glimpsed in his eyes many times since he first saw him by the sea seeming to alleviate some as they spent time together. 

As they said their goodbyes for now and headed off their separate ways, Levi going off to his hotel, and Eren to snap a few last photos, Eren couldn't help but wonder if he was doing the right thing by allowing himself to meet Levi again after everything that he had done in their past lives.

He could tell that Levi was interested in him the way he knew Levi was interested in him in their past lives. Levi hadn't really kept his regard secret even though he hadn't been forthcoming with it either, but he had shown enough for Eren to get the hint and say something. If not for that, Eren probably would have dared to confess for a long time back then.

Eren's departure to Marley and everything he had done in Liberio was what brought their relationship full of love and trust to a halt, one of the few things Eren regretted back then. 

Saving Paradis had meant ending things with Levi because Levi couldn't approve of all the things Eren had to do to save them. Not that Eren could blame him or his friends for that.

Eren felt guilty about allowing himself to be part of Levi's life again, but despite that, he couldn't bring himself to stay away from Levi. He had tried and failed. If Levi wanted him, then this time around, Eren would spend his entire life loving him the way he couldn't afford to do back then and atoning for betraying him back then.

And this time, he would be damned if he caused Levi to have that sad and betrayed expression he'd witnessed back then once again. That was once too many and enough for a thousand lifetimes, not just one. 

Deciding to spend his life loving Levi wasn't hard for Eren to do. He already loved him more than life itself, whether back then or now. And now, he finally got the chance to grant the dream he had set aside back then in the name of bringing the war killing his people to an end. 

He finally had the chance to fulfil his dream of loving someone, of spending his time and growing old with the love of his life. 

He finally got the chance to grant his dream of being with Levi.

And he would be damned if he didn't take it. He might not have afforded to take it back then, but he would not let that opportunity go to waste, not this time, because Levi was the best thing to ever happen to him, back then and now. 

While he had been apprehensive at first, worrying about whether it was right for him to let himself back into Levi's life again, especially because unlike him, Levi didn't remember their past lives and the things Eren had done.  With the lack of memories, Levi didn't know of the choices Eren had made and couldn't choose whether to forgive him for it all or not. 

But despite that, Eren was selfish, in a way, he had always been, and he was glad that the sea had bridged their paths and brought them back together again, that it had brought Levi back to him again. He will spend his entire life showing his gratitude by loving, treasuring, and cherishing Levi the way he always should have.

O