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When Anders left the Grey Wardens, he didn't expect to ever be in the deep roads again, ever. They were cramped, and smelly, and usually full of darkspawn. They also reminded him of his time with the wardens in Amaranthine - as a conscript, something he didn't feel the need to share with others. Being press-ganged into the Wardens, when his only other option was to be made Tranquil, stripped him of any chance at a normal life.
He sighed, his nose scrunching at the familiar smell of the Deep Roads. He felt someone nudge him in his side and saw Hawke looking at him curiously. "You looked so deep in thought that I worried you might walk into a darkspawn." She said with her usual smirk.
He smiled and fell into step with her. Did she always have that dimple? He wondered briefly. "Unfortunately, I'm still a Warden, so they can't quite get the jump on me." He replied. Hawke raised a brow. "Aha, I knew there was a good reason to bring you along. Aside from your good looks, I mean." She said with a sly grin, that cute dimple making an appearance.
Anders laughed nervously and brushed his hair back, as he tried to will away his blush. He cleared his throat and looked at her seriously. "Wardens can sense the darkspawn, like it or not. And no, I can't tell you why. Trade secret." He replied. She batted her generous eyelashes at him, and tilted her head coquettishly. Her fingertips brushed his arm and he shivered at her touch. "Even if I say pretty please?" Hawke asked sweetly.
He felt his face flush as he huffed a laugh and looked away from her. "No can do, sweetheart. No matter how hard you try." He said, trying desperately to sound nonchalant. Instead, Hawke's eyes lit up and she grinned like a fox. "Is that a challenge, Anders?" She asked huskily.
Before he could reply, Carver pushed his way between them, his arms outstretched to separate the two. "Maker, will you two stop? The last thing I want to see in the deeproads is my sister trying to flirt with another apostate." Carver said grumpily.
Anders cleared his throat and smoothed out the front of his robes. "Trust me, there are much worse things down here than darkspawn. Or your sister's terrible flirting." He said calmly. Hawke rolled her eyes at the both of them, but couldn't keep herself from grinning.
Time seemed to flow differently in the Deep Roads. Without the sun to guide them, the humans of the party relied on the dwarves to keep time. They had set up camp for the evening, with most everyone retiring to their bedrolls after their meal.
Hawke watched the campfire and idly threw a few sticks into it. The only other person awake in their camp was Bartrand, who sat away from her, closely studying the book in his hands. She swore she heard him mumbling, but it sounded like nonsense to her.
Hawke crept quietly towards her tent, when she looked over and saw Anders, tossing and turning on his bedroll. She checked to see if anyone else had stirred before she moved closer to the mage. His face looked pained and pale, with his brow coated in sweat. She saw that his eyes were closed tightly, his face in a grimace as he appeared to grapple with a nightmare.
Before she could stop herself, Hawke reached out to him, and gently squeezed his shoulder. His eyes shot open and his breathing quickened. His hand closed tightly on her wrist, as he stared at her, bewildered. "What are you doing?" He asked coldly.
She let her wrist go limp in his surprisingly strong grip. "I-I'm sorry. You looked like you were having a nightmare." Hawke replied. She had enough sense to look abashed, then inched away from him when he released her wrist. "I'll leave you be." She said.
He sat up and rubbed his hands over his face. "No, Hawke, it's okay. Well, it's not okay. I hope you don't make a habit of touching strange men while they sleep." Anders said. He sat up and patted the ground next to him in invitation.
Hawke sat down next to him. "No, only you. You're probably the strangest man that I know, though, if that helps." She said with a dimpled smirk. "I'm sorry. You just.. you looked like you were in a lot of pain. Do you want to talk about it?" She asked.
He looked at her and frowned in thought. Anders looked around them, then leaned towards her. "When I told you Wardens can sense the darkspawn, it... It goes both ways." He said quietly. Her eyes widened as she looked at him with her chin resting in her hand. "So does that mean they could spy on us? Through you?" She asked.
"Not quite, but the stronger darkspawn, such as an Archdemon, can sense us. It's worse during a Blight, or... In the deep roads." Said Anders. Hawke looked at him with concern. "Is that what you dreamt of? Darkspawn?" Hawke tentatively reached out to grasp his hand, which he gently squeezed, grateful for the contact. "Yes. I'm sorry for burdening you with this, but l... appreciate it." He replied with a small smile. She smiled, too, their hands still clasped between them, and Anders felt his heart thump in his chest.
"No, Anders, I'm sorry. If I'd known it was so hard on you, I wouldn't have asked you to come." She said. He shook his head and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. It was calloused, warm, and felt surprisingly dainty in his grasp. "It's not your fault. It's not something I've told anyone. Besides, I'd rather be here, fighting by your side and making sure that you come home safe. Or else I'd worry myself to death back home, or get taken away by the Templars. I... I don't want to lose you. Not to the deep roads." Anders said sternly.
Hawke smiled at him. "Thank you, Anders. I'll admit I do feel a lot better knowing we have a Grey Warden with us. My brother and I fought at Ostagar. They looked amazing when they took the forward charge; I half expected griffins to swoop overhead." Said Hawke, smirking.
Anders brushed his hair back and chuckled nervously. "I was still in the Circle at the time. I'm sorry, here I am whining, when you've been through horrors as well." He said. Hawke squeezed his hand again before she withdrew. He gave her a small smile, and suddenly missed the feeling of her hand in his. Her warmth.
"I think we've all been through enough shit to last a lifetime." Hawke replied with a sigh. "I'm going to crawl into my bedroll and get some shut eye. I hope you can get some sleep, Anders." She stood up and dusted herself off, casually waved goodbye, and disappeared into her tent.
He let out a breath that he didn't realize he had been holding when she left. Anders laid back on his bedroll, examining his hand, the one she had held, and sighed. I'm probably grinning like an idiot right now, he thought to himself.
SHE IS A DISTRACTION
Justice's disapproval rang in the back of his head. He did his best to ignore it, reasoning that if she was a distraction, at least she was a useful distraction. A beautiful distraction, with a charming smile, and dimples, of all things. She'd returned his flirting in kind, even after seeing who he truly was, even after he had tried to warn her away. It had been so long since he had felt like this.
Hawke is really something. And... maybe a little crazy.
When they heard the heavy door lock behind Bartrand, Hawke tried to stamp down her immediate panic. Varric had no such qualms and immediately began to curse his brother out and kick anything not nailed down. "That son of a bitch! Sorry, mom, but what the hell was he thinking?" Varric shouted.
Hawke stood with her eyes closed, fingers pinching the bridge of her nose, as she tried to come up with something, anything, to get them out safely. Carver tried to bust open the door, and threw his shoulder into it, cursing as he slammed into the solid stone.
"We still have your maps, Anders. We'll just have to find another way out, then throttle Bartrand. Maybe even raise him afterwards just to kill him again." Hawke said with a feral grin. Carver ground his fist into the palm of his hand. "You'll have to wait, sister. I'll beat him to a pulp first!" He said.
"Sorry, kid, but I'll be first in line to beat the bastard." Varric growled. Hawke draped her arm over his shoulder and ushered him away from Carver and Anders, speaking quietly to him once they were out of earshot.
Anders walked around the room with his staff, tapping it here and there against the stone walls and floor. Carver walked over and looked at him curiously. "What are you doing that for, mage?" He asked. Anders rolled his eyes. "My name is Anders, not mage, and I'm inspecting the stonework. I've been in the deeproads plenty, but I've never seen a thaig built like this one before." He replied.
Carver scoffed and kicked at a wall. "It all looks the same to me, mage." Said Carver. Anders scowled at him, then saw Hawke laughing with Varric, her arm still around him. He looked at Carver and nodded towards them. "They look awfully close, don't they?" Anders asked.
Carver laughed out loud, drawing attention from Hawke and Varric. "The dwarf? No, Anders, they aren't like that. Not that Keavy didn't try when they first met." He said with a grin. Anders looked at him, his eyes wide in surprise. "He turned her down?" He asked.
The other man laughed and nodded. "I'm sure there was some bloody sob story involved. They're thick as thieves, those two, but it's entirely platonic. Not like you, ogling my sister whenever you think no one's looking, mage." Carver spat at him.
Anders nearly jumped out of his skin as Hawke snuck up on him and threw her arm around his shoulder, pulling him flush against her side. "Now Carver, is that any way to talk to your new brother-in-law?" Hawke asked him with a big grin. Next to her, Varric put his hand to his forehead and pretended to act distraught. "O, betrayal! Your name is mage!" Exclaimed Varric.
Anders threw himself to Varric's feet and shook his fists. "But Varric! You are my one true love! Can't you see?" He cried out. Carver shook his head and stormed off, while Hawke and Varric wheezed with laughter. "Great, I'm stuck in the deeproads with a trio of bloody clowns! Can we go find something for me to hit?" He yelled at them.
Hawke tried to catch her breath after laughing, and stood doubled over with her hands on her knees. She stood up and nodded towards Carver. "Sorry about him, Anders." She said. He shrugged, "I'm used to it, from him. Has your brother always been such a colossal prig?" He asked her. She laughed. "No. He was always a handful, as most little boys seem to be, but he didn't get a chip on his shoulder until Bethany's magic manifested." She said.
Anders nodded as they began to walk. "Jealousy?" He asked. Hawke shook her head. "I think that was part of it, but... our father spent a lot of time teaching Bethany to control and conceal her magic. I think he was more upset about father spending more time with the girls than with him. I think after that, he just looked for more reasons to feel resentful. Hiding from Templars, feeling like the odd man out." Hawke said with a sigh.
Anders gave her a consoling pat on the shoulder. "For what it's worth, it sounds like you're a great sister. He has no idea how lucky you and your sister were to have been kept out of the circle." He said sternly. Hawke looked at him from the side and tilted her head. "Was the Circle in Fereldan really that bad? I mean, you and my father were able to escape many times. The security can't have been that tight, surely." She said.
His grip on his staff tightened until his knuckles went white. "How old were you when your magic manifested?" He asked her, his jaw tight. "I was nine. I froze the pond near our home in Amaranthine." Hawke replied. Anders looked at her with surprise. "That's very young for a mage. I was ten. An old barn cat startled me, and I accidentally set the barn on fire. Then, the Templars came." He said.
Anders tried to shake off the memory, deciding maybe now wasn't the best time to give her all the details. "It's the same story for most mage children. One minute you're magical, the next you're being dragged away from your family to live in what is essentially a prison." He said. She looked at him thoughtfully. "You know, if I weren't lucky, I might've been in the Circle at the same time as you. Maybe we could have been friends." Hawke said.
He remembered Karl's face, the tranquil brand on his forehead. The young mages who had been his friends, who hadn't passed their harrowing, cut down by the Templar's swords. Anders shook his head and smiled sadly at her. "It's a sweet thought. I'd rather you were lucky, though, and never had to step foot in a Circle." He said.
She felt a sharp pang in her heart at his crestfallen expression. Whatever happened to the poor man for him to be in so much pain? Yet he tries so hard to be kind and gentle, she thought. She realized she was staring at him and looked away quickly, her cheeks burning. "My apologies, Anders. I suppose I've lived a sheltered life for an apostate. It's hard for me to think of what life must be like for Circle mages." Hawke replied.
Anders smiled at her, keenly aware that she had been staring at him. Maker, she's going to give me an ego. "Cheer up, Hawke. It wasn't all bad. I did enjoy learning about magic, and it's a better education than most peasants ever get. We also had some pretty girls at the Circle... though none as cute as you." He said. Hawke scoffed at him and rolled her eyes, though he didn't miss the pretty blush that dusted her cheeks.
Carver stood up ahead of them, his hands on his hips, as he waited impatiently with Varric. "Stop flirting with my sister, and let's get out of here already!" He shouted at them. Hawke and Anders both laughed and ran to catch up with them.
---
Hawke slumped on the ground and downed a vial of lyrium. The empty tube clinked as it fell from her hand and rolled away into the darkness. "Here, Anders." She said as she tossed him a blue vial. He caught the tube and nodded to her in thanks, then drank it, his other hand glowing with mana as he healed Carver's sword arm.
Varric walked around the cave in awe as he sized up the hoard of treasure they found after defeating the rock-wraith-demon. "They're supposed to be a myth!" He exclaimed. Hawke snorted and wiped the blood from her face. "Well Varric, maybe you should've told them that. 'Sorry rock wraiths, you're a myth, now kindly go back to being non-existent so we can escaped unscathed.' " She said.
Carver huffed a laugh. "Maker, I thought a witch turning into a dragon was the weirdest thing I've ever seen." He said, incredulous. Carver looked up at Anders as the mage continued to heal him. "You almost look bored, Anders. What kind of crazy shit must you have seen for this to be old hat for you?" He asked.
Anders smirked and shook his head. "You wouldn't even believe me if I told you, Carver." He replied. "There, your arm is as good as new. How are you feeling?" Anders asked him as he stepped back from the young man. Carver stood up and flexed his sword arm. "Much better." He said.
The mage gave him a small smile, but he looked at him askance. Something seemed a bit off, but he couldn't quite tell what. Anders knelt down next to Hawke, who hadn't moved since she sat down. "Are you okay, Keavy?" He asked her.
She coughed into her hand and tried to casually hide the flecks of blood. "I'll be alright, just need a minute. And a potion." She replied weakly. "Who would have thought that getting pummeled by literal fists made of rock would hurt?" Hawke asked, then winced in pain when she chuckled.
Anders sighed and touched his hand to her forehead. Her pretty blue eyes looked up at him and fluttered closed. "Dammit, Hawke, you've internal bleeding. Why did you tell me to look after Carver first?" He asked her. Anders eased her down onto the ground until she laid flat, then channeled his magic into her torso.
She coughed again, flecks of blood spattering her lips. "My... baby brother, Anders. We need his sword arm. My organs can... probably be replaced? Not sure on that one." Said Hawke. Anders shook his head at her and tried not to laugh. "You idiot. What are we going to do with you?" He chided her gently.
Hawke chuckled weakly as Anders' glowing hands worked to heal her. "Maybe the Maker sent you to me." She said to him quietly, with a soft smile. "To keep me from dying, since I seem to trip over my feet and fall headlong into danger every other day." Hawke said.
Varric stood in front of her and chuckled. "Every other weekday, Hawke. On weekends you fall into danger full-time. Come on, you guys should check out the loot we've found." Said Varric. He walked towards the hoard and waved them over.
Anders helped Hawke sit up, and tried to keep his pounding heart under control. Maybe the Maker sent you to me, she says so easily. No wonder she charms the pants off everyone we meet! He thought to himself. Hawke patted his shoulder. "Thank you, Anders." She said with a smile, then stood up and followed Varric.
They picked up as much as they could carry, and left through the door that the rock-wraith-demon told them about. Varric grinned as they looked around the tunnels. "Now this looks more familiar." He said.
Hawke looked around; most of the deeproads all looked the same to her. "Do you know where we are, Varric?" She asked him. He nodded. "More or less. If we're unlucky, it should take about a week to get to the surface." He replied. "And if we're lucky?" Carver added. Varric glowered and began walking. "If we're lucky, we trip over Bartrands corpse on the way." The dwarf muttered darkly.
They continued to walk, their pockets and rucksacks jangling with gold and gems. They hadn't run into Bartrand, nor any of the men he brought with him to the deeproads. Luckily they only encountered a handful of darkspawn stragglers on their journey to the surface - and no more rock-wraiths.
Hawke sighed. "More deeproads." She complained. Varric nudged her in the side. "We're almost there, Hawke! What are you going to do first?" He asked her. She grinned, "That's easy! I'm going to bathe and try to get out the smell of nug shit and darkspawn blood. Then I'm getting drunk at the Hanged Man. What about you, Carver?" She asked her brother.
Carver paled and stumbled. "I... I don't know. I don't feel so good, sis." He said. Hawke turned to look at him, just as he fell to the ground. "Carver!" She shouted, then ran to catch him in her arms. He looked at her with glassy eyes. "I can feel it, Keavy. It's the blight." Carver said weakly.
Before she could call to him, Anders was at their side. "I was afraid of this." He said, his brows knit together in concern. Keavy glared at him. "What, man? Spit it out!" She said. Anders put his hand over Carver's forehead and looked at the boy. "It's the darkspawn taint. Some are more sensitive to it than others." He said.
Carver laughed. "Maker, I'm going to end up like Wesley. You have to end it, sister." He said sadly. Hawke held her baby brother in her arms, her eyes stinging as tears started to fall. "No, Carver, not you too! Anders, isn't there anything you can do?" She asked him, distraught.
Anders looked at them and waffled. "There... isn't really a cure, except... " He replied hesitantly. Hawke glared daggers at him as her grip on Carver tightened. "Anders! Tell me!" She ordered. He sighed. "If he were to take The Joining, there's a chance he might live. A bigger chance he might die, but-" he said, when Hawke cut him off.
"But there's a chance. It's either that, or he dies. What do we have to do?" She asked him. Anders sighed. "We'll have to find the other Wardens. It might be as much a death sentence as the blight, but if he comes through it, you won't ever see him again. It's a hard life, being a Warden." He said sadly.
Hawke shook her red head at him. "You escaped them." She replied. Anders scowled at her, "I have no illusions about my 'freedom'. I know either the Circle or the Wardens will drag me back, no matter how hard I fight." He said, then looked at Carver. "Is this what you want, Carver?" He asked.
Carver laughed weakly. "A choice between maybe dying, or absolutely dying. I guess I'll take whatever chance I can." He replied. Hawke choked back a sob and looked to Anders. "Tell me what we need to do." She said through clenched teeth.
Anders pulled out a map and smoothed it out over his knee. "I got these maps from a Warden I know. I wanted to find out if they came to Kirkwall to apprehend me, but turns out they were sent to investigate the deeproads nearby. If we can find them in time, I might be able to convince them to take him." He said.
"Great, I get to die my way into maybe being a Grey Warden. I blame you for this, you know." Carver said to Hawke. She wiped the tears from her eyes and smiled sadly. "That's fine, you and mother already blame me for everything, what's one more added to the pile?" Hawke replied. Anders looked away from the siblings as his heart broke for Keavy. His face looked determined as they set out to find the Wardens.
Stroud was hesitant. "Anders, you know being a Warden isn't a kindness, it's a calling. The boy might not even survive." Said the older man. Anders nodded, but held firm. "I know, Stroud. You don't exactly have recruits lining up to join either, and he's a capable soldier. Please." He said.
The old Warden sighed and looked to the siblings. "You'll have to leave your life as you know it behind. If you survive, you join the Order for life." He said sternly, his gaze flicking to Anders briefly. Hawke glared at Stroud. "If there's a chance he might survive, then you have to take him. I can't just let him die!" She shouted.
She could see the old man was still weighing his options, and her heartrate sped up as anger flooded through her. Hawke took one hand off of Carver and held it out towards the Wardens, her body glowing with mana, as violet flames grew around her fist. She glared fiercely at Stroud, her teeth bared. "Take him, and try to save him, or you won't walk out of here alive." Hawke snarled.
Anders' eyes went wide as he watched her threaten one of the most senior Wardens he knew. I can't tell if she's insane or brave, he thought to himself. The tension was thick as Stroud and Hawke stared each other down. Stroud barked a laugh and signalled to the other Wardens, who helped Carver stand up. "You're a bold girl, little Hawke. Fine, we will try, and hope he passes the Joining. Say goodbye to your sister, boy." Said Stroud.
Hawke ruffled his dark hair affectionately. "I love you, Carver. You better not die. I threatened a Grey Warden for you." She said with a sad smile. He laughed weakly. "Take care of mother. Goodbye, Keavy." Said Carver. They watched as the Wardens disappeared into the deeproads with him.
Once the Wardens were out of sight, Hawke sank to her knees and let out a sob. Varric patted her on the back and nodded at Anders. "Thanks, Blondie. At least he has a chance now." Said the dwarf. Anders smiled at him and nodded back. "I'm glad I could help." He replied.
Anders knelt down next to Hawke as she sobbed, her body shaking like a leaf. "Maker, Anders, I was so scared." She said quietly. He rubbed her back soothingly and chuckled. "You were very brave, and stupid, to threaten Stroud like that. Even the Warden-Commander defers to Stroud, and that woman killed an Archdemon." He said with a note of awe in his voice.
Hawke sniffled and wiped her eyes, then to his surprise, she embraced him with a strong hug. He stiffened at first, then relaxed, and rubbed her back with a hand. Maker, why does she fit so perfectly in my arms? "Thank you, Anders. I'll never forget what you did for me today." Hawke said quietly.
Anders pulled away from her, his hands on her shoulders, as he smiled. "You're welcome, Hawke." He said. "Carver won't be alone. The Wardens are often like a big, weird family. I think he'll fit in well." He said cheerfully. They both stood up and joined Varric as they, once again, started their trek back to Kirkwall.