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Summer always brought a lot of feelings for Nicholas. Most of his nights were spent alone because close friends travel, so he thinks, about everything.
He had a decent home life but his mother and father would argue a bit more than during the school year but he blames the closeness of the summer days for that.
Nicholas had an older sister, but she moved for college and didn't come home for summer this year. He missed his Jie, but he gets it, he wouldn't come back either.
So Nicholas was alone, till he met Euijoo. Their love was pretty normal or as normal it can get when you're both in the closet and battling with the world.
It started with a late-night trip to the convenience store, Nicholas was on the hunt for snacks. He trailed the isles and then he saw him. The boy had a mask over his face and was eyeing the cold medicine. Nicholas felt frozen in place.
Despite the mask obscuring his face, the boy was pretty. He was a bit taller than Nicholas, his hair was brown but it looked dyed, and he had rounder eyes and face. He was cute.
Nicholas decided to be bold (or maybe it was the lack of sleep) and walk up to the boy. He tapped him on the shoulder getting his attention.
"Excuse me?" Nicholas says.
The other boy turns around, "Yes? Am I in your way? Sorry," the boy starts to move.
Nicholas can't help but giggle, "No you're okay. I thought you were cute and wanted to give you my number," he admits.
The boy flushes, a deep pink speeding across his cheeks, "Oh," he mumbles, "Okay." Nicholas grins and takes his phone out. They swap numbers and names as well.
"I'm Nicholas by the way."
"I'm EJ or Euijoo," the boy—now known as Euijoo—says fondly. They both leave the store and sadly have to walk in opposite directions letting the night separate them. Nicholas sends Euijoo a text once he gets home.
From there the two boys would talk constantly and when they had time on the weekends, they would hang out at the mall or any place that wasn't their house till they got more comfortable with each other.
These small hangouts eventually sparked feelings within the boys. Both couldn't stop blushing at the other. Finding the smallest things about each other cute and endearing.
Eventually, after months of pining, they confessed. The rest was history. Till Nicholas found out he was going away for the summer.
"But do you have to?" Euijoo complains. He's currently glued himself to Nicholas, both lying on Euijoo's bed.
Nicholas sighs, "Yeah. I've tried.." He bites his lips. "Momma doesn't want me staying on my own," he adds.
"Can't you like to stay with me? I'm sure she'd approve then," he states. Nicholas’s mom loves him, she'd surely say yes.
"She might or," Nicholas takes a deep breath, "We could ask if you could come with us?"
Euijoo sits up, "Are you sure? Do you think your mom and dad would let me?"
Nicholas nods, "I mean they love you, so I'm sure that they would. Though I think we'd have to keep the flirting on the low, other than that. I don't see much of a problem," he takes Euijoo's hand in his own. "I like you so much and I think it would be fun to take a trip together," he places a kiss on the back of the other's hand causing Euijoo to hide his face.
"Okay, I'll ask my mom tonight then," he smiles and leans in to kiss Nicholas.
—
Which lead to Nicholas leaving half a day before Euijoo. When the idea of going on a summer trip was presented to Euijoo's mom, she was thrilled. So, she also booked the same house and would go down with Euijoo, his dad didn't really care either so he had little say in the trip.
Though, they're also bringing their next-door neighbor's kid, Maki. Euijoo doesn't have a problem with Maki. He thinks the kid is cute and has so much left to learn in the world, he's like the little brother that Euijoo had never known he needed.
The car ride was long and for the most part boring. Euijoo spent most of the time texting Nicholas. Euijoo would be getting to the home later in the evening so he could hardly wait to see his boyfriend.
Once the day set to night the Byuns plus Maki made it to the home. Euijoo was astonished by the home. It was beautiful. He quickly grabbed his bag and went inside. There in the living room was Nicholas. Euijoo set his bag down and gave him a hug, though it hadn't been long since they last saw each other, he still missed his boyfriend like crazy.
When Nicholas tried to kiss him, he heartbreakingly had to turn him down, "You're parents are just outside, but take me to our room?" He tilts his head.
Nicholas smirks and grabs his hand. He wasn't going to get away with staying in Nicholas's room but he would sure as hell try. They set his bag in front of what is supposed to be Euijoo's and Maki's room and then go down the hall to Nicholas' room.
Once the door shuts Euijoo is brought into a haste kiss. His hands find Nicholas' hips and they let their tongues dance in harmony.
Nicholas pulls away, placing one final kiss on Euijoo's lips, and smiles, "I've missed you," he admits.
Euijoo slumps against the door, "You saw me like two days ago," he throws a light punch to Nicholas' arm, "But I've missed you too."
—
The parents, Maki, and Tami are all out at the sand dunes today. Nicholas had the fun idea for the four older boys to go out to the beach.
They pack all their snacks and towels and head out to the sandy realm where they would let the waves and sun tire them out.
—
Later in the night, after dinner, after watching a movie with the others, Nicholas and Euijoo find themselves tucked in Nicholas' bed. Their limbs are tangled together, and their tan torsos are pressed together.
"I loved today," Euijoo sighs, he's happy.
Nicholas nods, "I did too. And to think, we have many more days together," he places a kiss on Euijoo's cheek. Nicholas curls up closer and rests his head on Euijoo's bare chest. He likes this, he likes Euijoo. He's warm and very loved. He lets a big yawn slip past his lips in his sleepy hazy.
"You can sleep," Euijoo says softly, "If you're tired."
Nicholas nods, "'m okay. I wanna talk," he yawns again. Euijoo chuckles, he turns off the lamp and places a kiss on his head.
"Sleep, I'll be here in the morning baby," he says.
—
The following days were hard. Both Euijoo and Nicholas could really only spend the nights together. Each of their families had something to do during the day till the group dinners in the evenings.
Currently, they were seated across from each other at a family-owned restaurant near the water when the parents brought up dating.
"So, Nicholas, you're handsome," Fuma's father says, "You must have all the girls tripping over you," he grins. Euijoo looks down.
"Uhm," Nicholas sits straight up, "I- uhm. Not really?"
"Oh Kenji, leave the poor boy alone," Fuma's mom playfully slaps her husband's arm. Nicholas is flushed and looks over at Euijoo, who is now, looking at his phone.
"Yah! Byun Euijoo, off the phone at the table," his mother yells at him in Korean.
"Sorry," he mumbles and sets his phone down.
"Oh he's so cute and polite," Kei's mom says. "He surely has everyone swooning for him."
Euijoo abruptly stands up, and everyone looks at him, "I- uhm. I'm going to the bathroom," he says and then walks away.
He stands in the mirror and he sheds a tear. His parents have of course brought up dating before, but he could just laugh it off, but it bothers him coming from other people. In the middle of his internal battle, the bathroom door opens.
"What the hell was that?" Nicholas, of course, would follow him, because Nicholas is that caring. It's almost too much sometimes, but Euijoo loves that. He loves Nicholas. It's scary, they're so young but he has such strong feelings for the other.
Euijoo huffs, "It irks me you know," he starts, "That every time they bring up dating, you never say anything about possibly being taken by someone."
Nicholas scowls, "I don't see you correcting anyone either."
"You're right, but I don't know how you feel about it because unless we are with our friends, you never show me any sort of affection in public."
Nicholas rubs his nose bridge, "Juju, I don't know what you want from this argument. All I know is, I'm not doing this now," he doesn't give Euijoo time to respond and just leaves the bathroom.
Euijoo slumps against the counter. He's sick, really. He hates having to pretend that he and Nicholas are just best friends and nothing more. They are something more. He hates when his parents bring up one of Euijoo's girl classmates saying how cute they would be together, or when Nicholas' parents push him to ask the neighborhood girl out.
He just wishes they could be out as lovers and that everyone would leave them alone. But he gets it, Nicholas isn't ready, and that's okay. Euijoo hasn't even come out to his parents yet, though he's sure they'll be accepting. It just hurts, really fucking hurts.
He wipes his stray tears and gives his mirror self a great big fake smile. He shuffles out of the bathroom and back to the dinner table. Euijoo keeps his eyes away from Nicholas, engaging in conversation with literally anyone else.
Dinner ended and nothing changed. Euijoo rode back with his parents rather than Nicholas' but no one questioned it. Once they got out of the car, Euijoo made a beeline for his room, the one he was sharing with Maki. He grabs his clothes and forces himself to take a burning shower, some habits are hard to break but are better than others.
If he lets a few choked sobs out, that's between him and the walls of the bathroom. After his cleaning shower, he quickly applies his skincare and haphazardly dries his hair.
He flops on the bottom bunk and stares at the bottom of the top bunk. Maybe hours have passed or maybe it was minutes, Euijoo didn't care either way.
"What's wrong with you?" He hears Maki ask.
Euijoo shrugs, "Stuff," he replies vaguely.
Maki huffs, "Cool, now elaborate so I don't have to see Nicholas all mopey."
That's nothing new. Nicholas whenever he and Euijoo get into quarrels, would always mope around. Even when he was in the wrong, it was an endearing thing, Euijoo found it cute.
"You know when your parents ask you about dating? And like you say it's not your priority because you don't want to say you're in love with your 'best friend' and have been dating for a couple of months, but then when you talk to your boyfriend he says that he doesn't want to say anything yet and gives you no reason. So you go along with it because you understand, you're not an asshole? Yeah, something like that."
Maki blinks, slowly, "Oh...that's oddly— specific," he's dumbfounded, "Is that happening to you?"
Euijoo dryly chuckles, "Take a wild guess." Suddenly he feels a dip in his bed and then looks over to see Maki's face.
"I'm sorry man, it sucks, I may not know much about stuff like that but I know it sucks," Maki tries his best to comfort Euijoo, he's grateful for him.
Euijoo cracks a weak smile, "It's okay, it's a part of being like me," it's a part of being gay, he wants to say. Though he'd rather not burden Maki with the real truth.
"Well I think you're pretty cool, and if Nicholas can't see that, then it's his fault. You're the best older—non-brother—brother I've ever had!" This pulls a chuckle out of Euijoo.
"Don't let your actual older brother hear that," he laughs, "Because he can definitely crush me."
The two lay on the small twin-sized mattress for a while longer till Maki pulled himself off so he could shower. Euijoo finally checks his phone to see a text from Nicholas.
"Come down by the pool, please?"
Euijoo, as much as he wanted to decline, he goes. He knows it's the right thing to do. He's working on communicating his feelings and not shutting people out, but sometimes old habits do die hard.
He pushes himself off the bed and pads his way through the second and first floor and outside to the pool. He sees Nicholas with his feet in the water. The moon is shining on him and God, he's just so beautiful. As if Nicholas could sense his presence, he turns around. A sad smile makes his way to his face.
Euijoo's heart hurts, maybe he was the one to blame, maybe he wasn't. He walks over and sits cross-legged on the edge of the pool, next to Nicholas.
"I'm sorry," Nicholas is the first to speak, "I didn't realize what I was saying at the time, but after talking with Taki, I know now how dismissive and rude I was being. I just didn't want to say something out of anger, you know? But nonetheless, I should have listened, I'm sorry," he makes eye contact with Euijoo.
Euijoo nods, "It's okay, I get it really. I shouldn't have acted the way I did, but it just became too much you know? Like in recent months, since we started dating, my parents have been pushier about me dating a pretty girl from my class, and it just hurts to not tell them the truth. I feel like I'm keeping a secret from there, and maybe I am. I haven't even told them that I'm..."
"Gay?"
Euijoo nods, "Yeah. God," he airily chuckles, "I can't even say the word myself. How pathetic? I'm really sorry for getting mad at you, I'm just a hypocrite," he says. Maybe it's the truth. Euijoo can't even admit that he likes men too, despite knowing for years, so how can he even be mad at Nicholas for not doing the same to his parents?
"Juju," Nicholas takes his hand, "You have nothing to say sorry for. I get it. I know you've struggled to say it, but I know how much you want to be open with your parents. I know how hard it is. I promise I've wanted nothing more than to just shout that you’re mine every time they bring up the nice Chinese girl down the road. I just haven't said anything because I wasn't sure where you stood with your mind, you need to let me in, you know? So I can know what you're thinking," he smiles, honestly.
It makes Euijoo feel better but hurt at the same time. He's right, he hasn't been letting Nicholas know what he's thinking, it's his fault they were mad at each other.
"I'll try my best to tell you, but I wouldn't mind you saying anything to your parents, but let me talk to my parents first," he wipes a tear rolling down his cheek. Nicholas nods and pulls Euijoo in for a hug. It's comfortable, it's them.
They're Nicholas and Euijoo, best friends who met in a convince store, and eventually became lovers, who aren't the best at communicating, but they're trying, that's all that matters.
Under the pale moonlight, Euijoo connects their lips, dancing in beauty as they put negative feelings behind them for the day. The crashing of waves is drowned out by the soft grunts and soft reassurances that slip between their lips.
Nicholas's hands find Euijoo's waist and pull him closer. Euijoo slings his hands around Nicholas's neck and tries to pull him closer.
Nicholas loves getting lost in Euijoo. He loves him, but that's for another night.
So yeah, summer brings a lot of feelings for Nicholas, but he wouldn't want them any other way if it meant that he could have Euijoo with him, because he's the one thing that makes Nicholas feel so sure of everything.