Chapter Text
Normal - Kiyoomi
Bold - Atsumu
August, 22, 11:43 am
good morning beautiful girl
??
ya dont remember me alrdy?
who the fuck are you?
we met yesterday
ya gave me yer number…
i don’t know how to tell you this but i’ve got a cock
omg great! pretty n armed
what the fuck
she gave you a fake number fuckface
wut
impossible
well that’s what happened
impossible
no 1 would lie to me that way….
it looks like that’s exactly what happened
and i kinda get why
WUT
no take it back
i’m sure you were harassing her and she just wanted to get rid of you
LIE LIE YA DIRTY LIAR
IM SUUUUPER RESPECTFUL
SHE WAS FLIRTIN W ME
i doubt that
im sure it was just an accident….
rlly im relieved bc i didnt remember her name n this was gonna be stressful for me
you do realize what you’re saying, right?
yea!
…. alright
well now that this is solved you can leave me alone
wait!!
i also like cock dude give 1 chance
??? no??? don’t “dude” me
for all you know i could be some creepy old guy
old guys dont have their cap letters turned off
also they dont say cock
well you could be some creepy old guy
or worse, some 14 year old
haha cock
yes exactly
good luck next time, i recommend you be less insufferable
now stop texting me
I WAS JOKIN NOO
ill tell ya im 22 cmon
even tho yer some stranger
how old are ya?
dude?
sweetie?
i’m going to block you
dont get nervous man
i can act like a straight boy if ya want
stop texting me or i swear i’m doxxing you
woaah ok ill leave ya
but only temporally….
god save us all
August, 24, 5:12 pm
hey man would ya rather
to never feel pain again or to never feel sleepy again
are you dumb?
wut is the question too hard for ya?
it’s ridiculous and stupid and not realistic at all
OBV its a would ya rather question not a phd
is not that serious cmon
id choose to never b sleepy again
you’re fucking stupid
obviously the pain thing is the correct answer
not being sleepy doesn’t mean you don’t need to sleep to be alive, and it would just make it harder
its the same for pain tho!! its a defense mechanism
imagine ya r on fire but ya dont realize bc ya dont feel it
you would still feel the heat
and you would SEE it
if you don’t sleep because you’re not sleepy you would end up crazy with hallucinations and stuff but not being able to fall asleep to help it
ok but imagine ya have cancer or sum
but ya dont realize bc it doesnt hurt
ya cant tell me ya would feel that anyway
well you would probably still feel other kind of symptoms
but still that’s what periodical medical revisions are for
thats for the weak
badasses only go to the doctor when necessary
you’re really a dumbass
how have you reached 20 without dying?
22 in fact! it is true death has visited me a couple times alrdy tho
you’re fucking dumb
lack of pain is way easier to live with that lack of sleep
and go to your doctor
and leave me alone or i swear i’ll block you
lies lies you only lie
ill go to the doctor if thats what ya want
yeah sure
if i go will ya keep talking to me?
sure
is not like you really will
August, 23, 10:25 am
ello love
guess what
[Attached File. A picture of a hospital waiting room.]
are you fucking kidding me
so ya know what that means….
you can’t make me
deals a deal
dont be a dirty traitor
ok so i won’t block you
doesn’t mean i have to answer you
but ya will
that’s what you think
ok
would you rather
being the ugliest person ever or being the stinkiest person ever?
i would choose the stinkiest ever for sure
ya can cover that shit up with cologne or sum
yer face? nuh uh
guess it would make sense for you to choose that
wouldn’t make a difference
hey now
you can mess w my intelligence and my healthcare
but NEVER w my personal hygiene
and are ya tellin me ya would choose bein the ugliest? i dont believe ya
if i ever smelled bad i would kill myself
also you would end up causing more rejection than if you were ugly
even though you are pretty good at that already
are ya sayin im pretty? <3
no
well
i see yer point but like… the UGLIEST
thats rlly ugly e
like
havin deformations n stuff in yer face
hey it’s not nice you talk like that about yourself
+ç´^¿())$)*_Ǩ:*^=)
leave me alone
ok
ya would love ta have my face
not really
but guess i did choose being the ugliest person
goooooood ya cant help but to insult me
i know ya just want to hide yer obsessed w me
your ego is impressive
yeaaa
hey dont go
love
sweetie
is it bc of my ego?
ya dont need to be insecure abt it im sure yers is also rlly big
ya know wut they say
the bigger the ego….
the less they know how to use it
i knew ya wouldnt resist it
before goin i need ya to tell me something
only 1 thing
what
are you a minor?
and i will trust ya but i do NOT want to b talkin w some kid
no
i’m not a minor
THANK THE ALMIGHTY LORD
do ya like cock?
you’re fucking stupid
well
im gonna save this conversation
just so if yer actually a kid i dont get sued for pedophilia
anyway talk to ya later sugarplum
my lovely chocolate puddin
August, 25, 00:48 am
would ya rather
marry the most attractive person ya have ever met or the best cook?
the best cook
cant believe yer not insultin me
i’m trying this new strategy where i try to finish the conversation as fast as possible
well
i would choose the other option
what a surprise
is just the best cook i know is my brother
it would b kinda weird
ah
you have a brother
yeaa younger
he rlly looks up at me
and still he is the one to cook?
hey i never said i couldnt do it
if you say so
and who’s the most attractive person you have ever met?
oof thats a tough 1
this 1 guy from japan i met at camp some year ago
but i dont think we would last together for long
he hated my guts hahhshshhhhahshshsh
what… i wonder why…
¨(“·&”/&·=)(·?=´ç´.¡ shut up
leave me alone
ok
no!!!!
are ya from tokyo?
how’d you know?
from yer phone num silly
ah
but then its me the dumb 1… im dumb and stupid… wtv
shut up
yes i’m from Tokyo, but i don’t live there now
whaaaat i dont live at home now either
so weird
so weird
did we finish already for today or what?
pff yer boring
whatever
August, 26, 4:18 pm
would you rather never age physically or mentally?
cant believe it
YA r talkin to ME
good observation champ
thx compliments rlly work for me so ya can keep goin
god i don’t know why i thought it would be a good idea to talk to you
ya can always stop textin
is just
you don’t understand i’m so bored
i’ve been waiting for an hour and a half in a room full of mononeuronal men
and i know you are too but at least i don’t have to smell your breath
aww thats the best thing ya have ever told me!! <3
what are ya waitin for?
a job interview
kind of
kind of?
yer so mysterious love…
yes is just
they don’t want you to know they want to kill you
yer in an interview to kill me??!
yer gonna steal my heart <3<3<33<3
yess that’s what they asked me for
stop
i dont wanna b yer entertainment go to twitter or sum i dont deserve this
you sure?
:(
i was in twitter
but they suspended my account
AKBKJSBAKJBAKSJ WAT
only temporary
HOW
i “violated” the twitter rules
basically there was this fucking stupid asshole with a really wrong opinion
dont tell me yer 1 of those people that use social media to argue w random people
kys
YA ARE
i don't use it to argue
but there’s some people who just ask for it, it’s not my fault
cant believe it
are you going to answer my question or what?
are you the only one who can ask stuff here?
nooo dont b mad cmon
ill answer
to not age physically would imply immortality?
naturally yes
you can still die by external factors
mmm i like immortality
but if i die it will probs b by external factors so it wouldnt b very useful
“if i die”
im optimistic!
you’re dumb
the same
anyway if i did get to live long i would b dumb and senile so still useless
i choose to never old mentally
weird i thought your ego made you choose the dumb answer always
that means ya agree w me?
yes i’d choose the same
lets goooo
gimme 1 compliment or sum
i need material for 2nite
i think you’re going to put on some more effort to get it
kinky….
yk its rlly weird to not call ya by any name
i like nicknames
you can call me daddy
KSM)(&””ç*Ç,+*=(“)”=¿! WAT
for being so funny you get disturbed really easily, don’t you?
gooooood
leave me alone
ok
they’re calling me for the interview
wish me luck
oooooo good luck!!
good boy
yer an asshole