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I met a girl, and she's a bit strange.
A girl with neck-length hair and caramel hair color, the same color as her eyes. Small, slim figure and not very tall. Her face is... well, quite beautiful, an optimistic, confident girl but a bit childish and noisy. She also smiles a lot. Sounds like a pretty cool girl huh.
Except...she've never let me touch her before and she often tell me not to tell other people that I met her, which is quite strange, isn't it? But I won't judge anything, after all that could be the way she live.
We met not long ago when I went up a mountain near the apartment I had just moved into, to study and get away from that damn family. I met that girl when she was sitting and swaying on a large branch of an old tree in the middle of the mountain, wearing a rather bored look on her face.
It was just a bit strange at that time. When I called out what she were doing there, she turned to look at me with an extremely surprised expression, as if were surprised that someone was calling her? And when I told her to get down or else she would fall, she quickly appeared on the other side of the tree, almost immediately when I called her. Well, she's quite agile, isn't she?
We have also started to get acquainted since then, going to that old tree after school has almost become a new habit of mine.
During my conversations with her, I also learned some information about her. Like her name is Kugisaki Nobara, she's only one year younger than me and she's a freshman at a certain university that she didn't mention. She moved to Tokyo with her grandmother before entering high school, and had two close friends who studied with her throughout her high school years. She also have a close friend named Fumi in the village before she moved to Tokyo and another person is Saori, a girl she admire, who is also her motivation to leave the village she hate. there. She also have a hobby of dressing up and buying nice clothes for herself, that why she often go shopping around Tokyo to the point that her part-time salary often leaves her easily and she end up with nothing but some change.
She also often asked me about myself, saying she wanted to know more about me. Of course I will also answer what she ask and in the end she always look at me with admiring eyes and spend plenty of compliments for me.
"You're amazing, Maki-san, I really respect you."
What a weird girl right? But well, how should I put it, it doesn't feel bad at all.
The amount of time I spend with her is not much, because I usually only talk to her for a while before preparing to go to work. I also asked her about exchanging phone numbers so we could keep in touch even if we didn't see each other, but she always refused for some reason that she didn't seem to want to say. But it's okay, I won't mind too much. I can still chat with her on my days off anyway.
I met a girl, and I'm very happy about it.
I don't know when, that girl has always been on my mind, meeting her and talking with her seems to have become my favorite thing every day. When I'm with her, time seems to pass faster. The two of us's conversations were hardly about any particular topic, but well…both of us didn't really care about that. There will also be times when we just sit there, under the old tree, silently enjoying each other's company without having to say anything to each other.
With her, I can become carefree. Being with her, it seems like all my pressure and stress disappear. Her image always appears in my mind every time fatigue sets in. She’s always the comfort I seek every day.
I want to be able to see her more, be by her side more and hear her voice, see the bright smile on her face more. And because of that, I always use all my free time to see her.
Of course this isn't some stupid love stories and I'm not a fool who hides from my feelings. I know this warm feeling, this feeling I have for her. I knew I was falling in love with her, and it seemed like she knew it too.
One day I told her
"Nobara, you may think what I said will be funny but, if possible...in the future..."
"In the future?"
"Can I use your last name in the future?"
"...you mean you want to marry me?"
"If you accept"
She blinked at me, while I nervously waited for her answer.
"That’s so hasty Maki-san, but of course I want to marry you too."
But for some reason, when she said that, her face looked like she was about to cry, as if she was holding back something while still trying to smile at me. I asked her but she quickly changed to another topic without answering my question.
I didn't think much about it. I just think that maybe she’s not ready to share her feelings with me yet.
And then until one day
I met my nephew (well, but because of the age gap I would prefer to call him as a cousin) Fushiguro Megumi and one of his friends while on my way to buy some snacks. It's been a long time since I met my cousin, who is one of two people who have the same blood as my family but I don't hate. Megumi introduced his friend to me, Itadori Yuuji, the friend who studied with him throughout her high school years until his first year of university. I didn't mind too much and just said a few formal greetings so I could quickly leave, but then when Itadori mentioned the name Kugisaki Nobara, I was surprised.
That boy said that Nobara, the only girl in the group of 3 of them and a close friend who had been hanging out with them since high school, maybe would really like to meet me because he thought we had a lot in common. I then just smiled lightly and told him
"I've already met her."
"Really? I didn't know she had met you before, she didn't tell us anything."
"Is that so? Maybe she doesn't always tell her stories to others huh"
"Maybe you right, anyway where are you going Zen’in-san?"
"Don't call me Zen'in, just Maki. And I was thinking of buying some things, what about you two?"
"Oh, we're visiting Nobara"
"Visit Nobara? Is something wrong with her?"
"Don't you know? She..."
That boy's face suddenly sank when talking about this, I suddenly felt strange.
"Yuuji, if you don't want then you don't have to say it."
"Wait, what's wrong with Nobara?"
With Megumi's words. I suddenly had the feeling that something had happened, something very bad. I could feel the uneasiness wash over me almost immediately.
"Maki-san, Nobara... she's gone"
"What? Hey, don't joke like that, I just met her yesterday."
Why do these boys say that, wasn't she still fine yesterday?
"What are you talking about? Maki-san, Nobara has been gone for more than a month."
"Hey, it's not fun to joke like that Megumi, me and Nobara have been seeing each other for a whole month now, she's always there every time I come and talk to her okay"
"Maki-san you...."
I don't believe it, clearly she is always there, under the tree where I first met her, where I talked to her every day. Thinking about she died a month ago, how could that be possible?
"Maki-san, follow me"
Megumi told me to follow. And finally stopped in front of a house, the house with the name Kugisaki hanging.
The uncomfortable inside me is getting bigger and bigger, I don't want to think about that, not at all. How could a girl who always smiled brightly at me every day be gone?
And then I saw that smile one more time, but it...it...
"It was an accident and she...didn't make it"
"Megumi, we should go over and greet her grandmother first"
Itadori said as his eyes turned to a woman sitting there, in front of Nobara photo, her eye blankly staring into it.
No..
"Maki, please..."
No..
"...tell her that we’re..."
No..
"…really miss you"
No, this is not the truth
"Megumi"
This is definitely not the truth
"Tell me...you're joking...right?"
She's still alive, everyone is definitely just playing tricks...
"Maki...."
Right, and then everyone will laugh at me...you'll laugh at me because I was fooled..
"Tell me...everyone's just playing tricks...right?"
Please tell me, please tell me it was all a joke..
"Maki-san, don't be like that anymore"
Please..please appear and tell me it was all a joke...Nobara
I met a girl, and I don't want to think about it
It's been 4 days since that day
Megumi tried to call me, but I didn't want to answer, I was angry to hear it, I didn't want to hear anything else.
Telling all to leave, I was angry when I heard a knock on my door. Whether it was Mai or Megumi, I didn't want to meet anyone.
Tear off the Note paper on the food tray, I don't want to read anything else
I don't need anything, go away, don't bother me anymore.
I met a girl, and I...
It's been 6 days since that day
She came to my room, stood behind me and called my name
"Maki-san"
"What are you doing here Nobara, you're already dead"
"Maki-san, I...."
"Why did you come to find me? Can you leave that place?"
"I am a soul, not like other souls that still carry regrets or unjust souls that carry resentment. I can go wherever I want without being bound."
"........"
"Maki-san, I miss you"
"Please, don't say that..."
"........"
No, I really want to meet you too
"I had love you Nobara"
"I'm sorry..."
I want to see you, to see you one more time...
"Why are you apologizing..I didn't know anything about you"
"Maki-san, I hid that from you, I.."
I felt something enveloping me, it seemed like she was hugging me.
"You know, Maki-san, sometimes when you go to school or work part-time, I sneak up on you and watch you from afar."
"........"
"And every time you came home, I was always there waiting for you. When I’m not with you, I felt like time seemed longer."
"........"
"A soul cannot sleep, you know, every second and every minute I am always waiting for you, afraid that today will be the last day you come to see me."
"How could I give up meeting you"
"But I was scared of that....in these 6 days I've been waiting for you, I just wanted to see you Maki-san, I'm sorry"
I turned around almost immediately, reaching out my hand to hug that small body. I want to be able to touch you.
But..
Useless
She’s just a soul, the soul of a lost girl. I can't hold her in my arms or feel any of her warmth....I can't do anything..
"Maybe you don't want to see me right now but-"
"I always wanted to see you Nobara, but I...I'm afraid I won't be able to hold myself if I see you"
"Maki..."
"I...I..."
I can't hold back anymore, all my feeling, I can't hold back anymore.
I could see her trying to wipe my tears and restrain herself from crying too. I know a soul can't cry, I know that. And I also know that trying to wipe away my tears is also impossible too.
I don't know how long I cried or what I said. I just know that she were always there, in front of me, listening to me without saying a word. Waiting for me to pour out all my feeling.
When I was exhausted and lay down on the bed, slowly feeling the drowsiness coming, she told me while sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Maki-san, I probably won't be able to see you anymore."
"That…so"
"It's day 49, I'll leave here soon"
"...."
"Maki-san"
"Hmm?"
"Let's meet there tomorrow"
"I will be there"
"Promise?"
"I promise"
"Nobara"
"What's wrong, Maki-san?"
"Stay here tonight…is that okay?"
She didn't say a word, just moved and lay down in front of me, saying goodnight before my heavy eyelids slowly drooped.
I met a girl, and that girl....died
It's been 7 days since that day
Maybe she left as soon as it was morning
I left the room, to the place where she and I met for the first time. I promised her that I would see her today, and I don't want to make her waiting any other minute.
"Maki-san, you here!"
She was excited to see me and I was also very happy to see that smile of hers again.
We were both still like that, sitting together, enjoying each other's company, talking to each other about all kinds of things in life. And it seems like she have completely opened up to me, nothing bothers her anymore, no need to hide or suppress anything, no need to be hesitate or keep secret anymore.
"Do you know, Yuuji is really an idiot, an old friend of his likes him but he seems too dumb to realize it"
"But what if there weren't so many hints given to him?"
"No, me and Megumi even tried to give him the most obvious hints, but in the end, you know, stupid is still stupid."
"So he really is stupid, huh?"
"Perhaps if lady Jennifer Lawrence likes him, I think his stupid mind will be able to realize it."
I actually burst out laughing right after her statement, honestly, and she quickly laughed right after me.
The whole time, her hand was always placed on my palm and she was always leaning on one of my shoulders. Even though she’s a soul, I still seem to be able to feel her touching on me.
The conversations didn't have a specific topic, all the words just flowed out like that. I always listen to what she say and she always respond to what I say.
With her, I can become carefree...but I still can't forget the fact that...she won't be with me anymore
"Maki-san"
"What's wrong Nobara?"
I turned to her voice. She raised her hands and pressed them to my cheeks, looking at me softly.
"Tell them, I miss them too"
"I will"
"And say, don't cry in front of my tombstone, it's so sentimental."
"I will..."
"And Maki"
"You...call me...Nobara?"
She kissed me. It's like I can feel it, feel the soft touch on my lips...and I don't want to think about that fact...
"I'm so happy that you asked me"
"...."
"But I'm so sorry, I couldn't walk down the wedding aisle with you."
It's okay..I won't be mad..
"But, I'm very grateful to you for loving me. I'm already the happiest fiancée."
Me too Nobara...I'm also very happy.....to become...your fiancée...
"Hey hey, don't cry, I don't like seeing you like that."
"I’m...sorry..."
Please, Nobara...
"It okay, I know my Maki won't let me down."
Please....
"Thank you, Maki, for everything. Hopefully in another life we can meet sooner."
Please...don't leave me...
"I love you"
Don't leave me...
"I love you too…Nobara"
I want to meet you Nobara
I want to hear your voice Nobara
I want to see you smile at me again Nobara
I need you....Nobara....
I love you....
Nobara
I met a girl, and I...miss you Nobara
The winds change seasons blowing away the yellow leaves on the street corner, the shadows of the rows of Ginkgo trees stretch across the ground, blocking the sun for almost half of the road.
The rustling sound of footsteps stepping on dry leaves, crossing the streets.
Another autumn is coming.
"And you know, your two boys are now almost able to do their dream jobs. Yuuji the boy has become a member of a quite famous basketball team, and Megumi the boy has seems like he's still studying to fulfill some of his dreams related to animals. Hmm maybe a zoologist, I think?"
…….
"And well, with his intellect I don't think we need to worry too much about him. Yuuji is the one who needs to worry more, he always complain about a guy named Todo, who always bothering him, can you believe it? Yuuji told that he always has to avoid that guy if he don't want that guy following him and saying all those weird things, I think that's quite funny."
Maki said and giggled after that.
It's been a few years since Nobara gone. Although Maki has grieved a lot, she has also accepted the help of those around her.
"Everyone has grown up, if you saw them now you would definitely be very proud of them. And oh don't worry, your grandma is much better too, the boys have come to help and talk to her a lot. It can be said that she almost considers them her grandchildren now."
Maki pondered for a moment and then looked at the name Kugisaki Nobara engraved on the stone.
"I don't know how many times I've said this but, I miss you Nobara"
......
"But I'll be fine, because I know you'll like me like this more than a sad Maki, right?"
A sound of footsteps slowly approached and a voice rang out after.
"Maki you're so sentimental, Nobara will definitely laugh in your face"
"Oh, so do you have any problems on how I talk to her, Megumi?"
Megumi just walked up to her, hands in his pockets, roll his eyes and not answering the question. But change the subject instead
"Come on Maki, granny Kugisaki and Yuuji have finished cooking and told us to come"
"Yeah yeah, I know, you don't need to remind me"
Maki slowly got up and raised her hand to brush away the dust on her pants.
"Okay, see you later Nobara, I'll bring you flowers again and continue talking with you another day."
"Don't worry Nobara, with us here we won't let your Maki overthinking anymore"
"Hey, don’t talk like I’m always I like that."
"But that's true, isn't it?"
The two of them say goodbye and then leave, stepping on autumn leaves under a beautiful red sky. Just like that keep walking, keep stepping forward
We’ll meet again, goodbye Nobara