Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

If you’ll ask Sakura about how he’ll spend this rainy night at the expanse of his home, he’ll probably tell you to ‘mind your own business’ (read: he’ll spend the first one hour scrubbing off the water that’s leaking from the roof to the floor as he lines up the buckets, eat take outs for dinner, brush his teeth before diving into the comfort of his futon with the sound of water droplets lulling him to sleep).

It was fine— just a slight change in his nightly routine (and was expected) wouldn’t hurt that much. And it’s not like that big of a deal, he’s used to this kind of life, after all.

So then, why does the sound of water droplets can’t lull him back to peaceful slumber as he glare at the ceiling lights accusingly (as if it’s the one who’s causing him distress), hands curled atop his chest in a way that depicts how much he’s trying but ultimately failing at making himself fall asleep, you ask?

The answer is simple: there’s a small, teeny tiny bit addition in his routine— worse (or is it?), a new addition inside his humble abode: an unexpected housemate .

It all started that one rainy afternoon. After their usual patrolling and random side quests (helping the town’s resident bakery at choosing which of the new pastry recipe is good for display or not, assembling the broken crates of fruits and vegetables of Mr. Tanaka as they are caught in an ensuing fight [Fuurin won, of course], finding a lost girl when the kids played hide and seek), it was Hiiragi who lets them head home early.

And so, the gang decided to do a little detour, not like Hiiragi’s there to know. It was by then that Suou proposed to walk along the streets of the rumored ‘haunted house’.

“We don’t necessarily need to enter the house, y’know? I just want to see the house for myself.”

“Do we really need to join you for that…” Nirei visibly shivered as he grabbed Sakura’s arms for support. At this point, he’s already used to his clinginess that he cannot bring himself to push the other away. Patience is a virtue, after all.

“Oh, c’mon man! That sounds fun! Being strong-willed is my kind of virtue, and I’m sure you have that in you , Nirei!” Tsugeura’s natural optimistic view seems more blinding than ever.

“Uhm, thanks but— you guys hear what Hiiragi-san said, right? Right?” the blonde shook Sakura as if he’s begging him to agree.

“I’m pretty sure we’re near there, though,” Kiryu finally spoke as he typed something in his phone (Sakura just can’t understand how he can handle having many random charms on his phone, doesn’t that make up too much space?) as they round a corner, “just straight down ahead and you’ll see.”

At this point, Sakura’s dragging both their weights as they continue walking ahead, Suou and Tsugeura bullying Kiryu into answering why he knew that place already.

Again, just another usual day for them, and Sakura just can’t wait to be home… but it’ll be fine if it’s gonna be late. Probably, not much of a choice he has here (read: he does have a choice, and he chose this).

The clouds are slowly darkening as the wind picks up its pace but other than that, there were no other signs of a storm approaching them. Not like that’ll stop them, though. He fought the small smile from finding its way towards his face as he frowned deeply.

“Ah! Here we are!” Tsugeura announces as he grabbed Nirei out of Sakura’s hold, forcing the blonde to be dragged by the hyperactive guy. Suou and Kiryu seem to be talking about something else as they follow suit, leaving Sakura behind.

Sighing, he eyed the ‘haunted house’ like he was facing off an enemy— caution in each step he took, sharp eyes scanning the place up and down, left and right. Like he’s entering a goddamn war zone, not a perfectly normal ‘abandoned’ house.

“Seems pretty normal to me.” he heard Suou say when he approached them, Nirei and Tsugeura nowhere to be seen.

“Where are the others?” Kiryu pointed at the now opened gate.

There was an interval in time where the peaceful silence and a shrilling, spine tingling voice overlapped with each other. As the three of them shared a look, the answer floated in the air around them like halo before they simultaneously sprinted inside. 

It was Nirei’s voice.

It was a fairly small house with an equally small backyard, and finding the source of that headache inducing noise proves to be quite easy.

Expect the unexpected— it was a quote Sakura had unconsciously believed for as long as he lived. Humans aren’t to be trusted, and violence seemed to be the only thing that’s consistent in his life. It wasn’t his choice to make— does he really have a say in this?— and that’s just how it is for him; it was the only fight that he didn’t have the assurance of winning, after all.

So when they see Tsugeura and Nirei kneeling on the ground with no enemies in sight, facing the bushes as they talked in hushed whispers as if they’re afraid to scare something as the latter didn’t seemed that scared as that scream indicated earlier— well, Sakura didn’t really know how to react. 

When they started facing the newcomers, all his adrenaline flushed down his core as confusion rattled his brain.

Because within Tsugeura’s hold is a fragile thing— a life Sakura wouldn’t understand as to how precious it was, the buffed guy cradles it like it was worth the time and effort.

“Woah, what is this little guy doing here?” Kiryu was the one who broke the silence, taking small but careful steps near them.

“We heard a sound here from the bushes that made Nirei shout… turns out it was just this little guy here.” Tsugeura softly smiled at that… creature in his arms. 

A small pat from his shoulders was enough of a reason to make him move forward, heart beating like crazy as his head aches. He wasn’t sure if it was Suou or the others– everything was still in a blurry daze for him, the ideas floating around his head like dust particles he cannot absorb nor remove, yet he tries his best not to show it to them.

“In my defense, I didn’t know it was a kitten that made that sound, okay?! And you kept telling me spooky stories as we’re roaming around, who wouldn’t get scared?!” Tsugeura laughed as if it was the most hilarious thing he’d heard his entire life.

“I told you, we’re letting your virtue out, buddy!” Tsugeura then faced them with that rare serious look in his face as he continued, “we found this kitten laying there with her mother… that’s apparently dead for the past few hours.”

“I think the mother’s still alive before we stumbled here since the rigor mortis was still in the process when I checked her pulse.” Nirei added, a forlorn look on his face. Tsugeura patted his hair with his free hand, giving him an encouraging smile, one that you cannot help but reciprocate back because of how infectious it was.

“Poor thing was still leaning for her mother, probably too weak because of hunger and in this cold weather too.”

“We already buried the mother cat, though. It was just a sad sight.” Nirei sniffled, wiping his hands with used tissues and wet wipes that’s filled with dirt.

Kiryu said something that made Nirei blushed furiously again, defending himself for the nth time today. What it was– Sakura’s not sure, he’s been not in the right headspace ever since they stepped foot here in this place.

Yet despite this, there was one question that’s fluttering aimlessly inside his head.

“What will you do with the kitten, though?”

… And that brings us back to his current circumstance. He shifted once again in his futon, finding that perfect sleeping spot yet for some reasons, he just can’t.

It’s not like the weak kitten is making any noise that prevents him from sleeping. It was just… there’s this one thing that he can’t get out of his sleep-deprived head.

The clack clack clack sound of water dropping at the buckets overlaps with his careful footsteps and before he knew it, he made his way back to the tiny makeshift bed of the kitten: a tiny box filled with towels and food.

“Please, Sakura. You’re the only one we can rely on.” Nirei’s words came back to him like the sound of roaring thunder— there’s a certain softness that contradicts with its harsh nature (or in this case, the harsh meaning behind his words). A burden , he thought at that moment. But what is?

And yet, when finally sees that fragile little creature, he suddenly finds it hard to breathe.

As he kneeled in front of her, that same feeling came rushing back to him like a storm surge sweeping him off his feet.

The kitten was so small and dirty; one wrong move and it might break into bits. Yet behind those ugly features was a white fur, Suou was the one who pointed it out as Nirei gently wiped her clean with his wet wipes. She was weak and small, yet she was perfect .

Almost, that is— not when Sakura finds her one little imperfection.

There was a black spot in her left eye.

If there’s one thing that Sakura proved when this ‘accidental pet acquisition’ happened, then it’s this: he absolutely has no idea how to take care of an animal— especially a sick one.

The first night with the feeble kitten is a disaster.

It was true that the kitten barely made any sound when they first saw her. Tsugeura and the others quickly bought wet food for the kitten yet it was still hard to feed her.

Lucky for them that the internet is a thing and with a quick google search, they found out that feeding sugar water helps in increasing their blood sugar. The dark clouds were now roaring thunder that they had to separate ways— they all live in different directions, after all.

“Don’t forget to check your inbox later, Sakura-san! I’ll send you all the instructions needed for her!”

And so he did. It was frankly easy that as soon as he stopped rehydrating her with water, she fell back asleep again.

There were droplets of rain outside when he stepped outside to gather the things needed. Luckily, the store near him has the exact thing he’s searching for: a tiny, unused box for the kitten’s makeshift home. 

From a tiny drizzle to a sudden cloudburst, Sakura sprinted like his life depended on it. When he reached the front door, water was dripping on his hair and clothes like he’s a wet chick.

Following Nirei’s instructions didn’t make him sweat, he just needed to put lots of soft towels, put small holes inside the box to not suffocate the kitten, and ready a bowl of wet food next to her.

Everything was easy— until it wasn’t.

It was around 1 in the morning when he first heard her tiny mewling. All the alarms in his head were awakened along with his consciousness. He hurriedly makes his way towards her, just three strides and he’s within her reach.

The kitten… it doesn’t seem to be hurt, yet those broken sounds she makes, the desperate attempt to walk with her eyes still closed, it was enough to break something in him.

Sakura quickly weighed his choices down: either he would call Nirei for help in the middle of the night (or day), be a nuisance and disturb his possible peaceful slumber, or find the solution on his own.

The latter seemed more fitting (and less annoying, for Nirei’s case), and so he finds himself reaching inside the box.

He tried moving the bowl of food near her yet the kitten didn’t even make any attempt at eating the food in front of her. He tried putting water in a separate bowl, but it was still ignored.

His furrowed brows are starting to connect into a straight V shape and he still hasn’t found the solution. Pacing around the room, he suddenly remembered the medicine dropper Tsugeura gave him earlier.

“Since she can’t drink on her own, you might wanna use this for now!”

Without any second thoughts, he quickly fumbles for his bag before remembering that he actually has it in his pockets. String of curses followed him as he went back to her, beads of sweat piling up more as he started having second thoughts.

Taking care and letting the kitten live at his place ‘til she can fully recover is one thing… but touching her? Suddenly, the world is spinning and everything around him seems to be closing in.

It might seem like nothing for Tsugeura or Nirei— the only ones who cradled the kitten— but for him? For someone whose hands only knows the harshness of the world and could only hold things cruelly, it is everything .

How could he ever touch such a delicate creature that deserves nothing but kindness and softness— something that he could not be? He started questioning why he even took this upon himself, like why didn’t he think of this ahead?

But there was no room for thinking— at least at this moment as her mewlings didn’t stop, her voice hoarse from overuse and dryness and— he must do this.

As gently as he can, his calloused hands reached for her thin body and when his body heat made contact, her mewling stopped. Thinking that he’s finally doing something right, he slowly aims the medicine dropper filled with small amounts of fluids to her mouth, her nose sniffing his hands then the medicine dropper before accepting the fluid with loud licks.

Sakura was rendered astounded, frozen in place as she softly made a place on his rough hands before remembering that she must rehydrate her. 

He silently fills the medicine dropper with water before resuming his work. Heart pounding so loudly it seemed like it’s coming straight from his eardrums, he finally lets himself relax at the warm, wooden wall and suddenly, his room suddenly felt small for the two of them.

Nirei started thinking that the events yesterday were all just a fever dream his mind suddenly decided to make on its own.

It was a weird, wholesome yet melancholic fever dream, yet it was perfect.

So when he sees Suou’s message about reminding Sakura to bring the kitten to school, the hazy memories come flooding back to him.

Their early dismissal. Suou wanting to drop by the ‘haunted house’. Tsugeura challenging him to bring out his inner ‘virtue’. Them going inside the said ‘haunted house’. He hears something bustling from the bushes as he screams bloody murder. Tsugeura checks behind the bushes to see a dead cat with her tiny kitten. Him burying the dead cat. The others checked in on them as they explained the situation. Sakura asks who’ll ‘adopt’ the cat before it is decided by them that he’ll take the kitten for the meantime.

“So it wasn’t a fever dream, after all…”

“What? Are you sick, Nirei?” Suou’s voice almost made him jump out of his skin, fighting the tiny whimper stuck in his throat as he looked back to his innocent smile.

“Oh, Suou-san! Don’t worry about me, I’m totally fine! I was just mumbling things to myself, y’know…” he awkwardly looks away while scratching his cheeks timidly. 

Somehow, looking at Suou’s eyes seemed like a mistake— like opening a forbidden box of treasures; even if he’s the one who legally found and dug them up from the hole, the permission to open isn’t his to make.

He quickly shook his head, trying his best to not dive deep into his thoughts before matching Suou’s pace but this time, with confidence in each step.

“Suou-san, is it okay if I ask a question?”

“You already did,” Nirei felt his heart drop at his stomach, Suou then flashed his usual smile, “just kidding, go ahead.”

Nirei awkwardly chuckles before composing his thoughts into words.

“Okay uhm, well it’s nothing much but… do you think Sakura-san is okay with this?”

Nirei tried his best to match his pace while looking down at his feet, feeling kinda stupid at the moment for asking a nonsensical question. He considered apologizing for– for what exactly? Nirei isn’t sure anymore.

But before he could bow in front of him, the word ‘sorry’ at the tip of his tongue, Suou finally spoke again.

“Well, Sakura seems okay to me now, if that’s what you wanna ask.” he raised his head in confusion, looking back at that innocent smile again, “but you can always ask him directly.”

Following the direction where his eyes graciously traveled at, Nirei belatedly realized how they already reached their rowdy classroom.

Except it was rowdier than usual– not when all of their classmates were gathering at one spot. 

“Sakura-san!” he didn’t need to look more closely to know who it was, but that doesn't mean he won’t go near them. He also wanted to see how she’s holding up.

Sakura only grunted as a response, already feeling annoyed with all the people around them as he stood up and gave him his seat. Nirei wanted to chuckle, it was obvious how he’s still unused with the attention and all.

When he finally took a peek from the tiny box, he saw her being snuggled inside a cocoon of clean towels next to a bowl of wet food.

The box itself was minimalist in nature, there were small poked holes here and there, and the lid was removable yet were cutted with inaccurate lines. It was awfully cute knowing that he’s the one who tried to do this on his own.

As he looked away from inside the box, he finally noticed all the random things around the table.

Around the box were random brands of wet cat food, diapers, towels, and other necessities Nirei noticed that were useful for their new resident.

“They’re for Polka.” Sakura provided before he could ask. Nirei blinked innocently at him as the blush slowly occupied his cheeks, the realization of what he uttered crept up to him like an army of ants it almost made Nirei giggle.

“That’s so cute, dude! You already gave her a name!” Tsugeura appeared out of nowhere, slapping his back like he wanted him to spit his whole lungs out.

“Shut up! Kiryu said we better give her a name or else she’ll get lost… or something.” The redness never left his face when no one spoke for a minute straight. 

Kiryu’s chuckle broke the silence, Sakura looks like he’s about to have a meltdown.

“But why… Polka?” Nirei blurted out, seeing that the question weighs more than his empathy for his malfunctioning friend.

“Indeed, Polka is quite a unique name for a kitten.” Suou agreed with his hands on his chin.

“Well– I–” Sakura really looks like he’ll faint from all the attention he’s garnering, yet Nirei can’t deny the fact that he also badly wants to know why .

“Here.” was the only response he could muster as he pointed at her left eye to make things more clearly.

Oh.

Oh.

It was because of her lone black spot located at her left eye.

“So you mean… Polka as in polka dots?”

“Well in this case, it should be a polka dot .”

Sakura’s really about to have a meltdown if they don’t stop.

“But it’s a good thing you brought him here, Sakura-san!” Nirei tried to shift the topic, seeing how much his friend is suffering right now.

Yet when he started focusing more on him, Nirei felt like he witnessed something that he shouldn’t have.

Understanding Sakura is as easy as tying a shoelace– there were many patterns he could use as a reference yet once he got a hold of how each knot works, he could even do it without looking.

Sakura’s an open book– he flashily shows his emotions (most prominently, his anger) without needing much effort despite the latter thinking he’s really good at masking things. 

It could be seen with his eyes that holds more than these two different and contradicting colors, his awkward gestures and mannerisms, the constant appearance of red in his face whenever he gets flustered.

And as the color in his face slowly drained out as if the statement itself made him blanched, Nirei saw a part of him in his eyes.

Guilt. His mind helplessly provided, like slotting the lone missing piece of puzzle he’s been working for years yet the end result seemed… out of place.

“Is there any problem, Sakura? You’re sweating a lot.” Suou offered him a bottle of water that somehow made him snap back to reality.

“I uh– yeah, I mean. It’s fine– I’m fine,” Sakura took the water bottle, drank it all in one gulp before shoving the empty bottle back to Suou, “of course, I bought the kitten! I have a phone here, y’know?”

Sakura quickly walks away, hands in his pockets as the others watch him disappear from the hallway.

Nirei quickly looks warily around, heart pounding as it screeches in his ear like his heart relocates at his eardrums for some reason. And when he saw the same glint in their eyes– acknowledgement and understanding– he finally gulped down the lump in his throat as he looked back outside.

Somehow, knowing that he’s not the only one who connected the dots didn’t make any of this less fine than it should be.

The walk towards the town’s one and only veterinarian seemed longer than usual, especially if you’re someone like Sakura who’s drowning in his self-rumination.

All the things he did earlier started to come back in one swift whoosh, making him feel dizzy and nauseous.

He was aware that he was walking, even so, he felt like he wasn’t . And suddenly, that slithering sensation of walking like he’s wearing an unknown skin hits him like a train, a feeling so bone-deep he cannot scratch the surface of that itch.

Nonetheless, he kept on walking, keeping his clammy hands inside his pockets, fidgeting some spare coins he had to regain some of his sense of self back.

It wasn’t Nirei’s fault for bringing it up– he could see he only changed the topic because he’s feeling overwhelmed by their attention– nor Suou’s offer of water where he pathetically almost drowns himself from drinking it all in one sitting, that made him feel like shit.

It wasn’t anyone’s fault that he almost left the weak, delicate Polka on her own– it was entirely his. His and his alone.

Sakura is… he knows he has ‘emotions’, of course. Everyone does, even those that seemed… impassive. But Sakura? The only emotion he knows that he could handle is anger.

That has always been the case– either for himself or the other people around him. Feeling anger thrive within his bones as his white-knuckled fist punches something, letting out these overwhelming emotions bundled up in his body always help him. A lot.

Aggression has always been the safest route for him, the only one thing he could excel and be good at. It was just another part of his norm, even if society says otherwise.

But what now, when the anger he’s currently trying to subside is directed at… himself? The answer is simple: he does nothing. Bottle the anger up ‘til something inside him swells and when something triggers him, let it all explode.

A live, walking ticking time bomb, venturing the boisterous streets of Makochi. It was a good thing Tsugeura volunteered to carry the kitten this time, he’s always been one of those hidden softies that doesn’t shy around at showing his gentleness.

Someone who knows kindness, a perfect guardian for Polka. Sakura could feel his skin breaking as his nails made a home in his tensed hands.

“Ah, here we are.” It was Kiryu who led the way again, as if he had a map ingrained at the back of his head.

The walk inside the clinic… proves to be the same as earlier. The clinic itself isn’t that big– white painted walls instantly made him feel calm along with the wind chime located at the door, a line of chairs near the entrance made him almost plopped down, and a long table with a nameplate he could barely read and lots of papers where to be seen. 

The doctor also seemed to be the only one working, seeing as there’s nobody else around.

“Uhm, excuse me. We’ve got a sick kitten here and if you can help us, that’ll be great!” At this point, Nirei is officially their spokesperson.

The doctor– Mr. Setsuna, Sakura recalled seeing him before– looked up from where he’s reading before gesturing Tsugeura to put the kitten at the table further inside the clinic.

Soon, the vet will start talking with them about the condition of Polka as Sakura continued zoning out most of the conversation. One moment, the gray-haired, old guy started talking something along the lines of ‘malnourished’ and ‘a week of rest’, and then the next was just him feeling each and every movement in the air. It was as if someone lit his ‘fake’ skin on fire, cut it raw and open for the whole world to see, and poured another tank of gasoline ‘til he went numb.

Except that there isn’t pain or numbness; just an inexplicable urge to reach for that bone-deep, uncanny feeling of being bared open.

Before he knew it, Suou’s guiding him back outside as they express gratitude for the doctor’s diagnosis, Kiryu’s opening the door for them, Tsugeura’s cradling Polka back in his arms for the nth time, and Nirei’s bowing repeatedly as he clutched on his new notepad.

All the while, here Sakura is; confused, flustered, and on the verge of entering another self-rumination.

“We’ve got it all under cover now, Sakura-san!” Nirei is quick to reassure him, “Also, I’ve written here the main points Mr. Setsuna told us about Polka’s condition and how she can grow stronger after a whole week of rest.” 

Nirei flashed him a boyish grin, shoving the notepad to him, “I’m sure you’ll do great, Sakura-san, so cheer up!”

He couldn’t hide how he flinched from his words, mouth going numb as he clenched his fist.

“Now, now, why don’t we all just go home? I’m sure we all need a rest today considering how long the walk towards here is. Do you want us to come with you, Sakura? Big guy here can carry Polka if you want to.” Tsugeura chuckled as he agreed to Suou’s statement, caressing the sleeping Polka in his arms.

“No, it’s fine,” he placed all the plastic bags he had in his elbows, offering his hands to carry the box, “we can manage.”

Sakura waits for Tsugeura to hand him over the box before he could blurt out the one question he’d been dying to ask: Is he really fitted for this task? For handling this precious life he’s supervising? For having this great burden on his shoulders? Why is he even thinking of her as a burden? Why–

The box was now in his hands before he could spiral down the abyssal side of his mind, all his friends looking at him with poorly masked confusion and concern in their eyes. Sakura could only nod his head as goodbye before turning his back to them, shoulders sagging with a tired sigh coming out of his mouth.

Suou is right, today really is a fucking tiring day for them.

Chapter Text

It was their second night together, and Sakura’s still as awkward as the first time he ‘cradles’ Polka. Well, if awkward fumbling and clumsy affection is what it meant. Sakura knew it wasn’t his forte, giving care and providing warmth for someone who isn’t him , but new experiences should always be welcomed, right?

It became a steady routine for them per se, a nightly routine where Polka cries and Sakura’s just… there. Trying his best not to crush the little being in his arms.

And here he is again, awkward hands on her beautiful fur. For this time though, he’s not here to cradle her back to sleep; it was the complete opposite.

Ever since they saw Polka in that abandoned house, they haven’t seen her open her eyes. It was from their visit at Mr. Setsuna’s clinic they found out she was actually a two-week-old newborn kitten. He stated that any day now, she’ll have both of her eyes open and that there’s nothing they should be concerned about.

Well, it’s not like he’s concerned about her or what. The old man should stop assuming things or he’ll go bald.

For now, all that Sakura can see is her beautiful blue eye, peeking up below from where she’s resting. He could feel his heart clenching at her tiny yawn, closing his eyes in an attempt to get his grip back. Thank god he lives alone, nobody needs to witness such… weakness.

Right, he’s not here to cradle her to sleep nor be out of himself because of her cute gestures. He’s merely… observing her up close, waiting for those ocean eyes to meet his sinful ones.

Definitely not because Nirei asked him to take a snap once both her eyes were open. His phone resting in his left hand was merely a coincidence.

“This is stupid,” Sakura muttered to himself as he slowly put Polka back in her bed, her curious eyes following his every move before peeking at him for the last time.

But this time, both her eyes were now openly staring at him.

As he struggles to unlock his phone with one hand, he momentarily stops, overlooking one tiny little detail.

He slowly lets his gaze back in her blue eye as he finally realizes what was wrong. A visceral feeling deep within his guts felt an intense emotion he could only consider a norm for him.

Anger came to him as easily as she did that fateful rainy night. For what? He could not pinpoint.

All he knows is that her ocean blue and golden orbs wore the most beautiful pain— and maybe that was one of the reasons why she’s suffering. Like a curse was inflicted, and all that Sakura could do is gently pat her head as she chased down the warmth of his calloused hands.

Perhaps Nirei and the others could wait for tomorrow.

It was amazing how Polka quickly fitted in— inside her tiny carton box, within the four corners of Fuurin High and Sakura’s ribcage. It was amazing, really, how her tiny meows became a constant thing in his waking days. How she dug and buried a spot near his heart like it was hers from the start.

Suou told him it was called his ‘soft spot’ for Polka, which made him wonder how she found that spot when all he’s ever been were harsh and rough edges.

He didn’t say that out loud, though. Nirei’s too much of a softie for such words, Tsugeura might ask him to eat lunch with him for a week straight with that certain look on his face, while Suou and Kiryu would share looks that were too cryptic and too intimate for them to share with him (as if Sakura seeing that is a violation of privacy that meant law and order and all the government shits might just come and bite him in his ass). So yeah, saying his thoughts out loud? Not a chance.

(read: As if he could fight such things when his friends are too persistent, though. Birds of the same feather or whatever, he might just pluck all that metaphorical feather at this point if that meant he could restore some of his stability back. Fuck reaching the top, he’ll just smash his head into a cement.)

Sakura could also say the same about his classmates, having that soft spot for Polka. Following Nirei’s feeding instruction, having enough supply for her necessities, being Polka’s ‘home’— it was a norm Sakura welcomed with open arms.

He hoped he could also say the same about his competence.

“Make sure the milk is warm before you feed it to her!”

It was amazing, really, how Nirei’s voice seemed to latch permanently inside his brain. Just the perfect timing to prevent Sakura from having one of those ‘meltdown’ sessions he’s been having lately. Which meant bigger ‘meltdown’— even bigger than that ‘oh we have the same cursed eyes? Y’know what that means!’ incident but we don’t talk about that— might happen sooner or later because yeah, emotions. What a word he would rather not talk about, thank you very much.

Polka’s warmth briefly caressed his still hand, further reminding him of her presence. Lately, Polka’s been doing extremely good at catching his attention; that is to say, her tactics right now were tame, to say the least. There was this one time when Polka was so high from her ‘exercise’ session with Hiiragi— the ‘exercise’ meant being chasing Hiiragi’s handmade stick with a rope like she’s eyeing her prey (as if she didn’t hide behind his leg when she first met his senior, all hesitant yet curious)— that as soon as she gets home, she ran all over the place looking for her plaything. She did not let Sakura sleep a wink that night.

Or the other time where Sakura turned his back on her to fix some things and when he looked back, there she is: sitting prettily atop his cabinet, staring at him while licking his tiny paws, y’know, like she’s some kind of god and Sakura’s her worshipper.

Outside, he is still as a rock. Inside? Walls are burning, alarms are blaring, Nirei’s voice is taking over his brain—

Polka jumped from his extended arms (since when did he move that ?) like she’s done messing with him.

That day, Sakura removed all the things that he guessed had helped her climb all the way to the top. At this point, he might just throw all his things outside just to keep her safe. It was just a thought, but Sakura feared he might act on it if she doesn’t stop with all this jumpscare.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll feed you later . We’re just making this warm for you.”

She sure does know how to answer right back at him as if he just abused her. It was their fifth day of cohabitation when he realized what a spoiled housemate he just got himself involved with.

“Well, well, well, look what we’ve got here!” Sakura can’t believe his ears. In all honesty, he should be used to it because surprise, this is one heck of a town he’s currently living in.

Weeks have passed since they have defeated— and apparently, befriended , not sarcasm but he sure wishes it was because befriending an enemy? Insanity (or is he the insane one?)— Shishitoren and they’ve begrudgingly become close with them.

Close enough to invite them out for lunch at Cafe Pothos.

Does he really need to say who invited who?

“Yo, Othello-kun,” Of course, he’s here, that shouldn’t be a surprise but oh well, “miss me?”

“We were just talking this morning . On a call.” with a hidden message of ‘Fuck no, stay away from me before my fist lands on your face.’ He would like to think Togame knew The Sakura Language for how many times this had happened and the guy would just have this one consistent response.

A belly laugh followed by those gentle ruffles on his hair before going on with his day like it was just a normal Saturday afternoon. Except that it was a Wednesday morning and none of this should be normal but then again, Makochi and normal don’t sound good together. It’s like eating steaming hot ramen on a sunny day, not ideal but who cares? It’s normal for them , that is. Sakura doesn’t get it yet, and he sure doesn’t have any plans on doing so. Maybe he should move towns before it’s too late. Or was it too late already? He’s too young for this shit.

Now here’s the real question, what are they doing here? Very nice question indeed, but it would be even nicer if he knows why because spoiler alert, he has zero clue. One minute he was bringing Polka to school like usual, and then here they are, potentially ruining a legal business instead of doing the opposite, y’know, like saving the town and fighting the strong bad guys. All that he knows is that if Umemiya-san is here, then that means this is an important meeting.

It has to be, right? Except that it doesn’t look like one.

“Ume told us you’ve got a new pretty recruit that we sure would love to see,” he had the nerve to sit down next to him when Choji is just three seats away , “his words, not mine.”

Sakura’s scowl just deepened. Pretty recruit? Seriously? What is this, some kind of a dating show? And why is he even pissed off? Oh right, because of this insanity .

But before he could fully articulate what it really meant without letting his annoyance get inside his head, Kotoha’s voice caught his attention.

“Hey, stop crowding her! You’re scaring the poor kitten!”

Sakura had never whipped his head that fast, ignoring Togame’s confused look in favor of looking at Polka’s box… with no Polka inside of it. When did she leave his side?

He shouldn’t feel this way towards Kotoha— smart, pretty, kind Kotoha— yet here he is, stopping himself from getting up and snatching her out of harm’s way because really, there is no harm here. Not with almost half of Bofurin occupying this small cafe plus the top two strongest fighters in Shishitoren, which were ‘yesterday’s enemy and today’s ally’ like they’re in some coming-of-age movie. Should he stop obsessing over the fact that friends could also once be your worst enemy? Probably. Would he stop doing so? Depends on his mood.

(News flash: his mood says, ‘suck my dick, coming-of-age movies!’)

He shouldn’t feel whatever it is that he’s feeling, yet here he is, seething on his seat like a goddamn child who’s about to throw a tantrum over what? Stealing his candy? Touching what’s his? Does he have such rights to call her ‘his’?

“Hey, you okay there?”

Sakura felt the hitch in his breath before he could fully understand that he’s not looking fine as opposed to what he assumed. Fine as in, composed and everything that doesn’t look like he’ll attack anyone on sight that breathe within a certain distance from him, y’know, like a paranoid cat that got out of its confinement that screams, ‘fuck humans! Kill, kill, kill!’

And based on Togame’s serious look on his face, that’s not the type of ‘fine’ he’s looking like. Great, Sakura, just great.

He lets himself settle in his seat— breathe in, breathe out, focus and relax.

“Yeah, I’m good.” was Sakura’s assurance, but Togame’s stare says otherwise. Great, he might just have the world’s most embarrassing meltdown with literally everyone as the living witnesses. Maybe he should’ve clicked on that “how to hide a body” ad link when it appeared randomly on a site about “can cats drink milk?” that Nirei sent him one time. Would it solve all this trauma he has? Probably, but if it could help him save face, then fuck the law and all this government shits—

Nice plan, Haruka Sakura. From delinquent to world-class criminal. If someone could hear his thoughts, they’ll probably think he needs professional help.

Kotoha just can’t get over the fact that: (1) Sakura is taking care of a cat, (2) the cat in question being an exact carbon copy of him , and (3) Sakura giving her a beautiful name. In short, Sakura being a fur parent. It was… amazing, but unexpected? It sure isn’t.

“I can’t believe she looks exactly like Sakura.”

Looks like Umemiya has the same thoughts as her. If there’s a thing called shared psychosis, then maybe she could call this ‘shared genetics’. Except they don’t necessarily have the same genetics because they’re not real siblings, but the bond they have is raw and real so fuck chromosomes and allele.

Maybe she should rename it as ‘shared bond’.

After seeing Polka— such beautiful kitten paired with her tantalizing blue and golden eyes, that sole black spot in her eyes making everything perfect — warmed up to her, the cat in question letting her scratch her chin while twirling her tail happily, Kotoha has the unfortunate timing of looking in his brother’s direction.

Oh no, not again.

“Stop looking like that , you look so stupid,” she uttered, fondness seeping to annoyance as she reluctantly let go of Polka, “don’t you dare drop her.”

Umemiya smiling shouldn’t look that bright, yet it blinded her all the same.

“Should I buy you a kitten? Maybe we can ask Sakura to let her stay with you for a week, Kotoha-chan!”

“Absolutely not.” She was quick to reject his idea and at the same time, Polka bit his fingers when he unconsciously rubbed on her exposed belly before graciously walking away from him, making him wilt in his seat.

If he could just see how stiff Sakura is once he realized that she’s not within his sight, then maybe his stupid brother won’t entertain such thoughts.

Between comforting (ew) Umemiya and letting him be, the winner is quite obvious right from the start. Kotoha left him in his seat— before pouring antiseptic alcohol on his nonexistent wounds and leaving his tissues and wet wipes, that is— in favor of talking with the other customers. She looks around and realizes that, well, the only customers she has were Bofurin and two outsiders with their flashy jackets.

Seriously, does being a delinquent mean you have to wear cringey uniforms? Thank god his brother is normal. Kinda.

She let Nirei and the others entertain the short wavy hair one. She knows from experience that serious Nirei combined with his small notebook meant that business is real . Kotoha wants to applaud the guy, though. He sure knows how to handle multiple conversations in real-time experience. She could always rely on Suou for damage control if Tsugeura’s persistence and Nirei’s curiosity gets ahead of them. Good thing Umemiya isn’t with them.

When she looks at the other side of the cafe, her relief instantly evaporates.

Of course, Umemiya isn’t one to dwell and sulk on such things (well, on most days), but that’s not the problem.

The problem here is him and his big foul mouth. She doesn’t want to see Sakura having a crashout in her cafe because of Umemiya’s pure intentions of borrowing her kitten (which, in Sakura’s language, means that he’ll take her away from him forever ), thank you very much.

Little by little, unexplained stillness in the air urged her to come closer. It was uncharacteristic of them, sure, but not in a weird way. But Umemiya? Her stupidly kind but annoying brother being quiet ? It must be the end of the world.

Yet when she finally has a good look on their table, it all clicked into place.

Because right in front of her was a sight to behold: Sakura smiling fondly at Polka as he gently rubbed circles on her belly. The exact spot where Umemiya had held her.

If Umemiya smiling looks blindingly bright as a sun, then Sakura must be the sun itself. What a pretty nice thought it is, Kotoha cannot help but keep it all to herself.

“Well, looks like even Polka agrees with me.”

“What?”

“Huh? What ‘what’?”

“Why are you all staring at me like that ?” ‘like I murdered someone in plain sight?’ Sakura clicked his tongue unconsciously. Must be a conditioned response towards Togame and his amazingly dumb questions along with that stupidly soft look.

“Nothing—”

“I can’t believe this is real!” Umemiya chirped.

“Believe me, we all have the same thoughts.” Hiiragi chuckled. What in the everloving hell?

“Honestly, I just can’t get over how much they really looked alike.” Kotoha smirked like the sneaky woman she is, and Sakura’s fuming (because no, he refused to admit that he is blushing, nope).

“What are you on, you idiot!” Kotoha giggled, Sugishita sent him a death glare— which he’s very sure could be considered as a death threat in Nirei’s dictionary— Togame is still looking as amazingly dumb as before, and Umemiya is too busy playing with Polka (he should probably thank the heavens, but really, is that supposed to be his priority?).

Moving town sounds really appealing now.

In retrospect, he had never expected any of this to happen. Jo Togame, 17 years of age, running through another gang’s territory as the sun meekly rises for the day with nothing but his sleep clothing (because yeah, nothing like a fresh morning run on a windy day) like his life depends on it.

All because of that one message.

‘hekp’

Honestly, he was never fond of using the messaging app just to talk to someone. Isn’t meeting them personally even better? Or a voice call just to ensure that they’re the real deal behind that device? Not to mention how time-consuming typing words are when you could simply utter them.

And yet that one message, the only message that could be found inside their chatbox, was the only thing that could make him stand up in the morning with no complaints.

He doesn’t need to ask ‘why’, all he needs is to get answers directly from him.

It was a surprise, honestly, how his body could still keep up. It must’ve been because of the shock for the situation he’s in. Sakura is… well, how can he say this? He admired him ever since they exchanged fists. It wasn’t that hard, liking someone whom he knew he could treat as his equal.

The connection they have is something he can’t brush off. It wasn’t the kind of thrill where the blood rush and nerves pumping were the only components needed to activate his interest, no, it was more than that— the metallic taste of blood in their smiling lips, the sheer joy of exchanging fists with someone, the look of understanding. For them, words were not needed.

They have this connection, and yet… Togame still can’t reach him.

Togame slapped himself real hard. Fuck thinking, there are more pressing issues than thinking such absolute nonsense (because yeah, feelings? What a word!)

As he lets himself focus on finding Sakura, everything becomes clear as the world seems to slow down and fits into their own axis.

Finally, he found him.

“Wha— the fuck are you doing here?” he was expecting that violent outburst, ears red from all the steam that’s coming out of him. He could picture all sorts of Sakura’s Awkward Reaction hall of fame that he could remember, but not… this.

He knew that look, that familiar light in his eyes that screams one wrong move might snap something out of him. Except that that wrong move isn’t just meant for him— it could be anything; the breeze, a random stranger’s greeting, him .

In all his time with Shishitoren, Togame had never felt this scared . No, not for himself, most especially not to him. He was scared for him .

Togame found him, but did he really find him ?

Uncertainty is the greatest enemy he could never defeat, and right now, he doesn’t know how to fight this one.

And then, it was gone. As if it was all in his head. He didn’t even notice that he was already walking away.

Like a desperate fool, he followed.

“You… messaged me.”

“Oh.”

“Which is something you never did. ”

Sakura looked like he’d rather eat stones than talk to him, which he’ll admit, kinda sucks . He doesn’t really know where he stands now— if there were bridges left to be burned, then he might as well light them on his own.

So why is he still trying his best to match his pace?

“Okay, fine! You were in my recent contacts so I have no other choice, but it’s— everything’s fine now, fuck. Sorry for wastin’ your time.”

Sakura’s here, and yet, he could never reach him. The connection is now blurring as Togame struggled for words to utter.

The world is turning off-kilter, the lines are blurry, Sakura’s here and gone at the same time, and yet, Togame could feel him. More than he’d ever done before.

And as he finally faced him head on, it all fell into place.

Picture Sakura— the composed and proud student of Fuurin High with his back straight and always looking ahead. Well, that was the usual Sakura he knew. But now? All that he can see is the Sakura behind closed doors— disheveled hair with his pajamas on and barefooted, eyes darting everywhere but him, arms covering something precious.

Arms that only know violence were now posed to protect, not to fight . The simplicity of it is enough to see tiny bits of light he’d been searching for.

It was the kitten they met days ago, sleeping soundly in his chest. And it was really quite a sight, seeing the Sakura he knew be like this. The usual harsh edges were turning fondly soft and… fragile.

Like a cracked glass trying to stay together all for the sake of the water inside of it.

“I really do think I deserve an explanation here, Sakura.”

He could see the moment Sakura came back on his own body, flinching at the breeze that caresses his skin. His frown grew deep, yet all that he can think about is the ‘whys’ and the ‘hows’.

Maybe he was being too much.

“But if you don’t want to talk, it’s fine. I won’t force—”

“She got lost, okay? Polka wasn’t there when I woke up and the windows were open and— I panicked. Texted the first number I saw while running around town. Found her the same time you found me. There, happy?”

They both stopped in their tracks, the sun’s gentle rays were now flooding the streets with light as the cold breeze filled the silence in the air.

He should probably be happy, right? Being Sakura’s first contact person, walking by his side, but no — it feels too wrong.

It is too wrong, not when he can see that tiny crack in his eyes. The wavering light gave in to the darkness and yet… and yet he held her like she was the only thing that could lead him back home.

And right there, Togame knew why he was scared for him— Sakura hated himself. The unspoken anger, the misled outburst, it was all because of him. He hated himself and yet with her, he could never lose to himself.

Haruka Sakura— whose eyes were burning embers to fire as if it was nothing, whose kindness was hidden under the pain of normalcy, whose smile could easily light this whole town if he wanted to— were now in front of him, all his vulnerabilities bared for him to see.

“Fuck, maybe I shouldn’t have keep her.”

How can he be selfish at this time when Sakura’s letting his guard down to him?

“But you found her, right?” Sakura flinched at his words as he slowly looked at him, “I think that’s what matters the most by the end of the day.”

“Maybe…”

There it is again, those mesmerizing eyes looking at him, blinking the doubts away. There it is again, that smile. It might not be directed for him but he’s glad to see him glow even just for a little bit.

There he is again, the Sakura he adores.

“I think she thinks so too, Sakura. Don’t you dare tell me I’m wrong.” Sakura frowned, which in Togame’s language meant that he did the right thing.

The world fell into the right axis, the lines were now slowly gaining colors again, and he could finally see him.

“Okay, whatever,” it wasn’t hard to tell with all the sunshine in his face that he was flustered and Togame’s determined to keep this moment hidden to the deepest part of his mind, “thanks, I guess.”

“I can’t believe you wounded me twice today. Twice! ” Togame playfully held his chest as if he was hurting with both eyes closed. Hearing Sakura snorting at him, he took a peek before erupting into a laughing mess. Seriously, being with him is worth it all.

“Whatever, drama king. C’mon, move your ass or no water for you.” He’s right, there’s never a dull day when he’s with Sakura. If only he knew that.

“Man, time sure is flying by so fast. I mean, look at her, Sakura! She can now jump that high?!” Sakura looks at him as if he just detonated a bomb and failed unsurprisingly. Anzai felt that he should probably look apologetic, but teasing Sakura is more fun than that.

“I can fucking hear ya, don’t shout.”

Anzai can’t help but laugh as he wrapped an arm on his shoulder. Man, he’s really glad Sakura came to their town.

“Which is, kinda sad, ya know?” Takanashi dramatically stated as if he’s not glued to his phone just minutes ago.

He was ready to call him out and make fun of him, but Sakura’s reaction was… interesting.

Sakura is naturally an interesting person, don’t get him wrong. But something about Takanashi’s words seemed to strike something in him.

But what could it be?

“What is?” he heard him say as he slowly detached himself from Anzai.

“Well, growing up and stuff.”

“You stupid, that ain’t a kid! It’s a kitten .” Kakiuchi playfully smacks him in the head.

“Ow, I know that of course! It’s just, cats are biologically wild animals. I mean, that’s what the internet said.”

“For the last time, cats and lions are different . They’re just closely related!”

“Yeah, but they still have the same gene— Ow, the fuck, stop hitting me already!”

“Stop fighting, you’re both spouting nonsense,” he tried to ease the situation, feeling something off in the air.

For some reason, Anzai doesn’t want Sakura to hear any of this.

Turns out he doesn’t need to do anymore damage control. Not when Sakura’s already walking away.

“Where are you going, Sakura-san?” Nirei’s voice caught his attention, careful and worried as if he knew something wasn’t right.

“Nothing,” was Sakura’s low response, which should’ve been enough.

And yet, Anzai’s there, hearing the loud volume of lies in his words.