Work Text:
Wonwoo knew it in one glimpse: Moon Junhui was the love of his life.
He tried to deny it at first, because at the time he had a lovely boyfriend called Mingyu, who was the nicest guy in the entire universe and the love of Wonwoo’s life for years before he met Junhui.
The thing is, Wonwoo’s life wasn’t the same anymore. And when the life changed, so did the love.
Wonwoo fought so hard with the shake of his body everytime Junhui was next to him. He tried to distract his own heart and change his mind at any cost, convincing himself that it was just a crush.
But the connection was extremely special.
It was so rare.
Just a crush sounded disrespectful for a feeling like that.
Wonwoo never felt that kind of electricity with anybody before. And he never felt it again since Junhui left.
"Honey!" Mingyu called. "Come over here, I want you to met someone".
Wonwoo rolled his eyes because he used to hate that his boyfriend called him "honey" or "love" in public.
Actually, he hated any kind of love's demonstration when they were around people. But, apparently, Mingyu wasn't able to controle himself. He was always calling his boyfriend with cute names like "my love", "honey" or "darling", because, unlike Wonwoo, Mingyu didn't give a fuck about what people thought about him.
He was just a sweet guy who was in love with his adorable boyfriend, and he wanted to express his feelings all the time. And Wonwoo knew it, he just didn't get it back then.
"This is my boyfriend, Wonwoo" Mingyu said, excited. "Wonwoo, this is my new coworker, Junhui, he moved from China a couple of weeks ago".
"Hi, Wonwoo! Nice to finally meet you. Mingyu talked so much about you, I almost feel like I know you already" Junhui joked while offered his hand in greeting.
The world stopped for Wonwoo when his hand touched Junhui's skin.
Jun's eyes were as brilliant and mysterious as the full moon. And for some reason, Wonwoo had the feeling that he was able to understand the mischievous sparkle inside them. Almost like he recognized that look from somewhere else.
Maybe from another life. He thought. But that was absurd.
"Nice to meet you, Junhui" Wonwoo answered. "I would love to say that I also heard a lot about you, but someone forgot to tell me that he had a new coworker".
"I'm pretty sure that I mentioned him and Ming...".
"Come on, Mingyu! How can you forgot about me? I thought that we were already besties!" Junhui joked, and Wonwoo laughed, even when the comment wasn't that funny.
"Hey! Mingo!" someone said, but Wonwoo didn't even tried to pay attention.
"Minghao! Hi!" Mingyu greeted. "It's so nice to see you. This is my boyfriend, Wonwoo. Wonwoo, honey, this is also a new coworker, Minghao".
"We finally met, Wonwoo!" Minghao exclaimed. "We heard a lot about you".
"Good things, I hope".
"Only good things" Junhui said.
When Junhui smiled at Wonwoo, Minghao raised his eyebrow, feeling curious about the weird look on his face, that look. Hao knew him so well that sometimes hated him, even if that guy was his best friend.
Because Minghao clearly saw it, Junhui was flirting with Wonwoo.
Not again, "Mr. Steal Your Girl" Minghao thought. Especially, not with our new friend's boyfriend.
Unfortunately, Wonwoo and Mingyu's relationship didn't last that much after Wonwoo met Junhui.
Everyone knew that they had an expiration date. Except for Mingyu, and the tiny and beautiful engagement ring that he bought two weeks before his boyfriend left him.
"I don't get it" Mingyu cried. "He was the love of my life. He said I was the love of his life".
And he was.
Before Junhui.
"Wonwoo" Junhui mumbled. "Are you okay?".
"Yes, perfect" Wonwoo lied.
"Don't lie to me" Junhui ordered.
"How do you know that I'm lying to you? You're scary sometimes, do you know that?" Wonwoo joked.
"I'm not scary, I just know you" he said, confidently. "I know that you're hiding something from me because I can see it in your eyes. Those beautiful and wonderful eyes never lied to me before, and I don't want them to start now".
Jun's hand caressed Wonwoo's face, trying to make him feel confident enough to talk about whatever was inside his mind.
"You cannot get mad if I tell you".
"I won't, I promise".
"Mingyu called" Wonwoo finally confessed. "He wanted to give me some of my old stuff".
"That's cool, I guess. Should I be mad for that?"
"No, it's not that".
"What is it then?".
"He also gave me something that wasn't mine. Well... technically, it was mine, I guess".
"What was that?".
"An engagement ring" Wonwoo answered, feeling a little embarrassed. "Our engagement ring. And..."
"Do you miss him?".
"Not like that" he assured. "I don't want to be his boyfriend again, or marry him, it's just... I..." Wonwoo was frustrated because he didn't felt able to find the words to explain his own feelings. He didn't want to be misunderstood by Jun while he was also trying to respect Mingyu's feelings. And his own.
"It's okay if you feel guilty or embarrassed, or even if you're rethinking you're decisions" Junhui said. "You can talk to me about those things, Won. We are a team. I thought that you knew that".
Junhui's words felt like fresh air to Wonwoo. That man had a gift, and he knew exactly how to used it to make people feel safe around him, and of course, Wonwoo wasn't an exception.
"I know that" Wonwoo replied. "But I don't want you to believe that I'm having second thoughts about the two of us, because, I swear, that's not true. I'm sure about you and me. I've never been more sure about anything in my whole life, Junhui".
"I believe you, Won" Jun answered. "If your love for me is, at least, half strong that what I feel for you, then I'm going to believe everything you say to me".
"How can you be so sweet?".
"I'm no sweet, I'm just in love" Junhui replied. "I'm so in love with you, Jeon Wonwoo. So in love that I'm almost sure that you are the love of my life".
Full moon on the sky.
Outside, the weather was cold and the people felt lonely.
However, Wonwoo's room was warm and full of love.
So much love that, sometimes, the lovers almost feared they could burn just by touching each other.
"Promise me" Wonwoo mumbled. "Promise that you're staying beside me forever".
"I'll never leave" Junhui swore before he kissed his boyfriend again. "Wonwoo, I could never leave you. You're the love of my life".
"Hey! Mr. Steal Your Girl!" Minghao called. "I don't think that Wonwoo likes knowing that you're flirting with someone else while he's not around".
"Stop calling me that!" Junhui demanded. "And I wasn't flirting, I was just being nice with the waitress".
"Yeah, sure".
"Don't tell Wonwoo".
"All your secrets are safe with me, Mr. Liar".
"I'm not a liar".
"Of course not, Junnie" Minghao answered, ironically.
Wonwoo waited for Junhui's call until 2 am.
He is probably trying to calm himself Wonwoo thought. He's gonna call eventually.
But he didn't. At least not for days.
Mingyu would've called. No. That's not true. Mingyu and I wouldn't have fought about something like this in the first place.
Wonwoo almost said that to Jun, just because he wanted to annoy him, but he couldn't.
Junhui looked at Wonwoo with those brilliant eyes that stole his heart since the very first night, and suddenly, he forgot every word that was prepared.
Because Wonwoo always lost himself in Junhui's eyes.
"I'm sorry" Junhui said. "I'm trying. Don't leave me, Won".
"I know you're trying" Wonwoo answered. "I don't mind, it takes time. I'm not going anywhere."
"I love you, Wonwoo" Junhui cried while hugging him, desperately. "You're the love of my life".
"Can you just stop talking?" Junhui exclaimed. "I'm tired, I don't have time or energy for this. We can talk about it tomorrow".
"No, we can't" Wonwoo answered. "You always do this, you start a fight and then you try to make me feel like I'm annoying you or like this is my fault, and it's not".
"I'm not saying this it's your fault, I'm saying that I'm tired. Why aren't you listening to me?".
"I always listen to you!" Wonwoo shouted. "Why are you not doing the same for me? What are we fighting for? I can't take it anymore, Jun. I'm also tired".
"Honestly, I have no idea why we started fighting" Junhui admitted.
"Me neither" Wonwoo mumbled.
"Won, I'm sorry" Junhui said. "I'm not trying to make you feel guilty about anything, I swear. You're the best boyfriend I could ask for, you're kind, and caring, and the love of my life".
"I'm sorry too, Junnie".
"I'm leaving" Jun said.
"Are you serious?" Wonwoo asked. "I'm trying to talk to you, Junhui, you can't just go away every time that...".
"No, Wonwoo. You're not listening to me. I'm leaving. Not just now. I'm leaving. Forever. We should break up".
"What are you saying? Are you insane?".
"No, I'm not. I'm just tired, you already knew that".
"This it's just a crisis, Jun. Every couple has one, or more than one, we just need to talk about it".
"I don't want to!" Junhui exclaimed.
"Why not?" Wonwoo shouted.
"Because I'm not in love with you anymore!".
Wonwoo's entire world stopped. He felt paralyzed.
"What?".
"I'm not in love with you anymore" Junhui repeated. "I'm sorry, Wonwoo".
"But you said...".
"I know".
"You said I'm the love of your life" Wonwoo remembered. "You said it about a million times".
Full moon on the sky. Wonwoo hates the fool moon as much as he used to loved it years ago.
He doesn't want to admit it, but obviously that's Junhui's fault.
I can't believe that I hate full moon just because remind me of him. Wonwoo thought. I'm being ridiculous.
But we all are ridiculous, aren't we? We all felt in love once, and we all have something that remind us of someone. We all have a memory, a song, a movie or a place that make us feel angry because remind us that we used to love it.
Wonwoo would've loved keep thinking about those stupid little things that he hate, but then, someone call his attention.
"Won? What are you doing here?".
Just like the night they met, the entire world stops for Wonwoo when he hears Junhui's voice.
"Jun?".
"Oh my god! it's so nice too see you! How are you doing?".
"I'm doing fine" Wonwoo lies, hoping that Junhui doesn't know. But he knows. He just doesn't want to tell anything about it. "How are you?".
"Great".
"Are you shopping?" Wonwoo ask, even if it's obvious.
"Yeah" Jun answer. "I'm meeting my girlfriend's family today and I'm the one who brings the wine".
"Oh, so, you have a girlfriend. That's cool".
Wonwoo is a terrible liar, and he knows it. But he doesn't care anymore. If Junhui wants to dig inside his mind like he used to, then it's going to be his own problem.
Wonwoo is almost hoping that.
Because that's what Wonwoo always did, hope.
"Yeah, we've been dating for almost a year already" Junhui says. "What about you?".
"Just me" Wonwoo answer. "And my cat, but I don't think it counts".
"It does, Won. Everything that makes you happy counts".
And there he is, full Moon Junhui, again. Those intense eyes and that stupid and sweet smile that still haunts Wonwoo in his dreams.
But he's not dreaming. And that's even worse. Because Junhui is right in front of him, and smiles at him, and he wishes the best for Wonwoo, but he still so out of reach.
"Yeah, I guess".
"I have to go" Junhui says. "It was so nice to see you, Wonwoo. I was wondering about you just a couple of days before".
"Really?".
"Yeah! I was... recalling... some things, and you came to my mind".
I can't believe that he is recalling us now, and I've been recalling us for the past four years. Wonwoo thought.
"Well, you can stop recall. I'm doing great".
"Good to know. See you later, Won" Junhui says. And Wonwoo knows that they're not going to see each other again.
I know It's for the best. But it doesn't feel that way.
Junhui walks away, again. And Wonwoo starts recalling the entire history, again. 'Cause loving Junhui was momentary, but also legendary, and maybe that's the reason why Wonwoo keeps feeling that painful hole on his chest.
Because that kind of feeling it's so rare that's almost impossible to find it again.
I wish I could un-recall how we almost had it all, Moon Junhui.
Wonwoo looks at the full moon and silently ask her if, maybe, someday, he will be able to bury Junhui's memory.
And then, the cruelest truth hits him.
It doesn't matter how much Wonwoo try to erase that history from his mind, heart and soul, because the damn hole on his chest it's going to scream Junhui's name again, eventually.
And then, Wonwoo will remember those eyes, as brilliant and mysterious as the full moon. He will hear Jun's voice haunting him inside his dreams. He's going to fight with his memory as much as he used to fight for him. He will recall every word, every moment and every broken promise.
Wonwoo will be able to see it until he die: Moon Junhui is the loss of his life.