Work Text:
"A Love So Grate"
When I sauntered vaguely downwards—or maybe rolled like Double Gloucester—
I knew it was the end, had no thought that I could foster
Such a love as this, built Brick by Brick starting in Eden
When he told me, “I gave it away,” and I knew: My heart was beaten.
Throughout the ages we have met, and I've become only more smitten
With that cherubic face even when I think I've bitten
Off more than I can chew. He's like too much mozzarella—
Soft and tender, a bit bendy—my ethereal “not a fella.”
He is too Gouda for Heaven with all its rules and regulation,
A creature of the Earth now, one given to temptation
By an ox rib, a crepe, a bit of fish wrapped in seaweed,
The melting of Raclette on bread, and still somehow love remains his creed.
He gave me grace when no one else did, when they said I held no merit,
And I watched him suffer the same, watched him grin and bear it.
But he was Feta lie—he’s worth far more than their whole class,
Worth more than Gabe or Mike or Metatron, worth more than Pule from an ass.
“To Brie or not to Brie” has never been the question in my thinking—
Only “How?,” when each respective side is filled with Stinking
Bishops of divine or infernal wrath whose only care
Is winning this bloody war with no regard for what is foul or fair.
Yet where there’s a will, there’s a whey, and I know together we can find
A path forward for the group of us, somewhere we can bind
Our hearts. Because he loves me. On this, there is no quibble.
When we're free to kiss and taste and bite, I will Edam—just a nibble.