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The large hall was sparkling with suspended lights, small blue crystals slowly swaying back and forth in the air. Warm disc lights embedded in the walls contrasted their blue hue with soft yellow, creating long shadows from the abundance of large-leafed plants decorating the bases of the pillars that formed the arches of the high ceiling.
Khalai, Nerazim, and Tal’darim, dressed in various finery, mingled in small groups. The psionic whisper of many conversations filled the air.
Alarak kept himself leant neatly against a wall, close to the tall balcony windows that were open to let in the breeze, watching the display and adjusting the collar of the robes he had been given to dress in.
Where is Ri’kara? He scowled slightly, scanning the crowd again. Artanis had told him not to socialise until she had arrived to be an ‘interpreter’; the story that they had decided to spin was that this Fifth Ascendant needed one to be able to speak to others. The three of them had known that his voice would have been too recognisable to any of the Aiur Tal’darim that had decided to attend the gathering.
He had supposed it would be necessary, at least at the time, but now it was irritating, stuck as a wallflower until his aide decided to show her face.
The Hierarch walked over to him, dressed in the finest robes Alarak had ever seen him wear; sky blue rippled into a deep midnight, fabric flecked and fringed with shimmering gold. The headdress he wore sparkled with small crystals that caught the light delicately, framing his face almost like a halo.
For a moment, the Highlord felt his chest squeeze oddly, similarly to how it did every so often when he was Ri’kara, and he quickly made himself focus elsewhere. Artanis’ blue eyes were upturned in a warm smile, though it faded as he glanced around before speaking privately to him.
“She is not here yet?”
“No.” He made sure to put a bit more distance between them. “You would not happen to know why?”
“I believe she said that she would be helping a friend with something urgent before coming here, remember? It is only fair to allow her a little grace considering the time we ask of her already. I can be your interpreter while you wait; Vorazun has left me to speak with some of her own people.”
Alarak rolled his eyes but nodded. “Spare me from this tedium.” He was honestly grateful for something to do.
Artanis did the talking on their little tour around the gathered groups; his friendly smile and ease with which he could keep up a banal conversation was something that the Highlord was quick to take note of. He imitated that smile, though kept it slight, nodded when introduced, sometimes bowing slightly, as befit his fabricated station, and tried to keep one eye on the entryway.
Finally, in the middle of a strained conversation with the Matriarch, Artanis gestured towards the archway.
“There she is.”
Relief washed over Alarak, though he was sure to mask it with a short, irritated scoff. “Finally.”
The Matriarch shot him a glare, an edge to her voice. “I suggest you go and greet her, Fifth Ascendant. Before she is snatched up by someone else.”
He pushed down the urge to answer the glare with one of his own, annoyance bubbling up from his gut at her condescending tone and the way her last comment seemed to imply a joke that he was not privy to.
“What exactly is that supposed to mean, Matriarch?”
She merely smirked, turning away and taking Artanis with her without explanation, leaving him to stew.
With an irritated sigh, he turned and headed towards the door to collect his aide.
His chest tightened again once he had properly looked her over, squeezing almost painfully for a moment. Deep crimson robes hung from her pale dappled shoulders, decorated with delicate twists of stained pewter that framed softly glowing red crystals. Dark grey skin-tight fabric covered her neck and chest, a diamond window cut in the middle to expose her collar and a little lower. As she spoke to the Aiur Tal’darim and the Nerazim that had entered with her, her cords swayed and glittered with small silver decorations.
“Ri’kara.”
She started a little, looking up at him with slightly widened eyes before bowing deeply. “Fifth Ascendant. I apologise for being late—”
He moved a hand dismissively and shook his head. “You arrived in time to spare me from the Matriarch; I believe you have made up for that mistake.”
Her hand passed over her crest and she laughed a little nervously, glancing at her two companions. The way she held herself was odd, defensive, like a small prey animal trapped in the jaws of a predator.
How strange…
She clasped both hands together and turned to include all three of them in the conversation. “Where are my manners? Val’ka, this is Executor Kal’narn and Ialdir, his escort for the night. He is part of the Aiur Tal’darim representative council. This is Fifth Ascendant Val’ka, the Death Fleet representative.”
Alarak looked the Executor over, bowing only slightly. His amber eyes narrowed a little, but he returned the short bow, as did the Nerazim beside him.
“He seems hostile.”
“Kal’narn is… abrasive.” Ri’kara kept her smile. “Val’ka is pleased to make your acquaintance.”
“… Likewise. Does he not speak for himself?”
The tone in his voice made Alarak bristle. He glanced down at his companion, who bowed her head apologetically.
“You will have to excuse the unorthodox communication; the Hierarch has requested that I speak on his behalf.”
Kal’narn scoffed, eyes further narrowing. “That does not answer my question.”
Ri’kara paused, glancing up at Alarak for a moment before speaking again. “He is selectively mute. I serve as his interpreter.”
“You should have said that first.”
“I wanted to make it more believable that you would be ashamed of it.”
He supposed it made sense. There was a moment of silence, but he saw her shoulders relax slightly as the Executor’s expression softened.
“I am surprised that one of his rank would trust a former phase-smith with a task like that.”
The little Tal’darim faked a short laugh, trying to ease the tension that hung between them. “To be blunt, Executor, he did not have a choice.”
Kal’narn nodded, seemingly satisfied with that answer. After a quick glance into the crowd, he bowed again.
“If you will excuse us, Fifth Ascendant, I have somewhere I need to be.”
As he drifted off, the Nerazim, Ialdir, lingered, taking one of Ri’kara’s hands in his own, snatching it almost.
“See you later, Riri?” His voice was soft, eyes sliding downward before meeting hers again. For some reason, Alarak felt himself tense, a new emotion lodging itself in his chest, mixing with a little indignation that anyone should look at her in such an… inappropriate manner in public. His eyes were almost hungry.
“A-ah, well, if I have the time. T-tomorrow?” Ri’kara’s whole demeanour seemed to worsen, her body freezing in place, crest and face flushing lilac. Even her shoulders dusted with the colour.
“Well, I suppose. I would prefer sooner, but…” He glanced up at Alarak before focusing fully on her again, bowing his head and pressing it to the back of her captive hand. “I suppose it cannot be helped; we are both busy, after all.”
Then, he was gone. Ri’kara clasped both her hands together again, shoulders moving more noticeably. She didn’t take her eyes from the spot where he had stood.
After a moment, Alarak decided to speak. “I did not know you had a suitor.”
That seemed to snap her out of her reverie. “Ah, Ialdir? No, he is… a friend of mine. That is just how he shows it.”
A friend. He wanted to laugh. Either she is completely oblivious, or she is lying. That odd lump in his chest was heavy; he didn’t know if he liked either of those options. The Matriarch’s words once again rattled in his skull; suddenly the implication was crystal clear.
“I see.”
“I am once again incredibly sorry I was late. I thought it was urgent, but Uljia had caught wind I was going to a gathering and insisted on dressing me for the occasion.” She gestured to her elaborate dress, looking mildly embarrassed. “Then the Executor wanted me to walk with him.”
“You do not need to keep apologising.” He rolled his eyes and offered his arm; it seemed appropriate. “Artanis has already taken me through the pantomime of introducing myself to the room.”
“Good. Good… Still, another little wander won’t hurt, will it?”
“I suppose not.”
It was odd that she seemed so shaken, but once she took hold of his arm, she calmed, so he did not press the matter.
The next little tour of the room was markedly different from the first; somehow the Protoss he had already ‘spoken’ with were more relaxed and accommodating than when he was with the Hierarch, and he noted that Ri’kara had a similar knack for polite conversation and friendly smiles. Alarak could not help but notice how taken with her many of them seemed to be, and once again he felt that lump in his chest.
As they made their way around, the group of Nerazim that had been playing light, soft music began a livelier tune, and the groups suddenly parted, forming a space in the middle of the hall. He knew what that meant; Artanis had been training him to be able to join in this little activity.
“I think the Hierarch is looking for you.” Ri’kara gestured towards the middle of the large space, where Artanis was scanning the crowd with his bright blue eyes.
“He expects me to dance.”
“With him?”
Alarak suppressed a scoff. “No.”
He tried not to think about the way his hearts had reacted while in that training room, closer to Artanis than he had ever expected to be. He frowned, trying to push everything down again; he had felt entirely too much this evening already.
“With you.”
She let out a soft, incredulous laugh. “He has seen my size, yes? In comparison to yours?”
“He knows; he made it his mission to teach me to accommodate for you.” He didn’t particularly want to admit that he had been taught much more than that in order to participate.
“You sound as though you would rather do anything else.”
“I cannot think of anything more demeaning.”
Her head turned slightly, looking around for a solution. “I can figure out a way to leave if you wish.”
He nodded. “Do so.”
She nodded in turn, and in the jostle of the crowd, she began to gently pull him away, behind a pillar so that they could be out of sight. “Can you see Ialdir?”
The Nerazim? Alarak scanned the room as he allowed himself to be led away. In the sea of faces, he finally saw a pair of deep green eyes that he recognised, similarly scanning the crowd.
“He is on the opposite side. Looking for someone.”
“Me, most likely. Here, the balcony is deserted.”
“How cruel of you to deprive him of your company.”
Ri’kara gave him a wry smile. “If you still want to leave, follow me.”
The Highlord couldn’t help but smirk back and followed his little guide into the cool night air. Her hand slipped from its place on his arm and into his own, but he found he did not mind, holding it loosely. She led him down a set of outside steps to the level below and into a deserted, secluded garden that overlooked the city.
“There. We had better keep our communication to ourselves, though, just in case.”
“Of course.”
They both seated themselves on a bench underneath a tree that had snaked itself up the golden metal wall of the building. The branches swayed with the breeze, and Ri’kara shivered slightly, shuffling closer to him.
“Cold, are you?”
“It’s just the temperature change, I’ll be fine in a moment.” She fiddled with a small pocket in the sash of her dress, bringing out a stick of incense. “Would you like one? I know it isn’t Terrazine, but—”
“It will do.”
Pulling out another, she lit both with a psionic spark and handed one to him, taking a drag of her own and sighing with some relief.
“What is it?”
“Oh?” She waved a hand. “Nothing. I didn’t expect him to be here, that is all.”
“Ialdir?”
She nodded, leaning forward and resting her head on her hand.
“He isn’t a guard for any of the Aiur Tal’darim representatives; I have no idea how he managed to get himself into that position for tonight’s event.”
Her face had fallen into a soft frown, but it was gone the moment she glanced up at him. “Not that it matters; it was nice to have seen him.”
For a moment, Alarak thought about the way he had looked at her and frowned in turn. He said nothing.
“… Do you think they’ll notice we’ve gone?” Ri’kara broke the ensuing silence.
He chuckled. “Most likely. I will look forward to a lecture tomorrow.”
“You’ll deserve it for sneaking away.”
Her little nudge to punctuate her accusation tightened his chest again. He waved a hand dismissively and rolled his eyes just to mask it.
“Tch. You did not try to stop me. You aided me, in fact.”
“Well…” She shrugged nonchalantly. “I prefer it out here. I have excellent company, after all.”
“One would think you would become tired of me after spending every day in my presence.”
“That is true; you can be insufferable.” She let out a little giggle, a ridiculously cute sound, then added; “But I can’t say I am tired of you yet. Sorry to disappoint you.”
He had no retort for that.
They sat in silence again for a while, just smoking and taking in the calm of the place. He found himself watching her as she studied their surroundings, eyes fixed on the waxy green leaves of the tree and the plants below that reflected the silvery shine of the moon.
He’d begun to have an idea of what might be plaguing him as she leant over to inspect the delicate blue flowers by the small pond and her cords shimmered as they moved with her. He didn’t like it; he wasn’t here for such folly.
I suppose I will have to discuss this with Artanis. Perhaps he will know how to stop it.
Ri’kara pulled him out of his own thoughts with a little sigh, sitting upright again. “So… The Hierarch expected you to dance with me? I suppose I can understand why you would find it demeaning.”
Alarak frowned. “What is that supposed to mean?”
She shrugged. It was clear she was trying to stay neutral, but her eyes looked sad. “Dancing with a phase-smith at a formal event like that. It isn’t exactly good for your image.”
“That is a ridiculous line of reasoning, Ri’kara; you are my aide, it is expected of you.”
“Then…” She blinked. “I don’t know any other reason why. Unless you can’t dance—"
“There is little difference between a dance and a fight; I know enough to get by.” He discarded his incense stick and tapped his claws against the bench. “And you forget that Artanis insisted on teaching me regardless.”
Her shoulders relaxed, the sadness leaving her eyes somewhat as she considered his words. “I’m almost disappointed we didn’t stay. It would have been an… interesting experience.”
“I simply did not wish to be forced to perform in such a manner.” With a sigh, he leant against the wall behind them, a thought creeping into his mind that made him scowl.
What a ridiculous idea.
Before he could stop himself, the words tumbled out of him. “I suppose it would have been a waste of time if I do not put that training to some use.”
Her head tilted to the side, eyes searching for something on his face. “What are you saying?”
Getting up, Alarak moved out from under the overhang and onto the outer balcony, gesturing to her. “Since you want to see what it would be like so badly, I suppose I would not be opposed to dancing without an audience.”
Ri’kara hesitated, lacing her fingers together and narrowing her eyes at him. “You’re sure?”
“Would I have said something if I was not sure?”
“Well, I… Alright.” She stood, brushing the folds of her dress down and discarding her incense stick. Cautiously, she made her way over and stood in front of him, unable to look him in the eye and laughing nervously. “Just be careful with me; I am sure the Hierarch can take much rougher treatment.”
The Highlord frowned a little, ignoring her comment, and keeping a step’s distance between them. One hand was carefully placed on her shoulder, and the other held her tiny hand in his. He had to bend slightly to look at her, and his hearts almost stopped as she looked up at him with large, nervous eyes and a flushed face and crest.
Unlike with Ialdir, she moved a little closer instead of freezing, naturally placing her free hand against his elbow, and clinging to the sleeve of his robe. It only made his demeanour worse; he felt his crest start to warm slightly.
It is just a dance.
Carefully, he began with a simple set of steps, getting used to the odd way they had to hold each other, shifting his grip where necessary and letting her do the same.
She pushed for more after another few moments of this little back and forth, getting him to move faster, complicating the dance to keep up with the music that they could hear from above. It was a welcome way to pull him out of his own mind, keeping him from focusing too much on the way she smiled up at him, or how close they had become, or the fact that he found he was enjoying himself.
Finally, he moved back, holding her arm up to twirl her in place and watching the light catch on all the little decorations woven into her skirts.
Once she stopped and steadied, he let go, giving her a short bow as he had been taught.
For a moment, she stood, a little dazed and flustered, before returning the bow and giggling again softly.
“Th-that was interesting…”
He narrowed his eyes. “Are you alright?”
“Y-yes, I am, just… I’m fine.”
Ri’kara seated herself again, taking in more air than usual and fanning her lilac face.
“It took more out of me than I thought; I don’t dance often, that’s all. You did very well for a first time.”
Alarak nodded, seating himself next to her again and waiting for her to compose herself. It gave him the opportunity to calm his own hearts.
Tomorrow. I will speak with him tomorrow.
It only took a few moments for her face to become its usual off-white shade, and she stood again, looking at him expectantly, playing with her hands more than before. “I believe the music has calmed down. We can rejoin them if you want.”
“As though we have a choice in the matter.”
“I doubt we will be there much longer; it is getting late.”
He stood with her, following her back up the steps and into the hall; she was careful to keep some distance between them that time.
The dancers had indeed stopped for the time being, the Protoss in the room once again forming their little groups to speak animatedly about trivial matters.
“I believe we can take our leave, Ri’kara; I would prefer not to waste my time with useless small talk I cannot participate in.”
She winced slightly and laughed a bit. “It wasn’t so bad… But you will have to speak to the Hierarch first. It is only polite.”
“… Fine. Follow.”
Both Artanis and the Matriarch were at the opposite end of the room, speaking to one another in a private conversation, only the soft whisper of psionics to indicate their communication. As they made their way towards them, Artanis’ eyes upturned in a relieved smile, causing the Matriarch to look at them both with something closer to a knowing smirk.
“Matriarch, Hierarch, the Fifth Ascendant wishes to take his leave; I will be escorting him back to his quarters.” Ri’kara spoke first, bowing so deeply that her cords trailed the floor.
“It was a shame that we didn’t see the both of you join the dancing. Perhaps next time.” The Matriarch gave him another smirk, as though she knew what had happened in the garden below. He tried not to let his face show his annoyance.
“Perhaps. He does apologise for the absence, but these types of gatherings are not usual for Tal’darim; I am sure you can understand the reservation.”
It was for the benefit of anyone casually listening in on their conversation, that Alarak knew, but he made a note of how easily Ri’kara seemed to be able to bend the truth to suit a situation.
I wonder how often she applies that skill.
Artanis smiled at them both. “Of course; perhaps next time it will be different. I hope the both of you have a pleasant evening.”
Both Tal’darim bowed, and Ri’kara led him out of the hall, every so often looking around for, he presumed, the Nerazim and his charge.
Finally, as they stepped across the threshold, her Templar guard came forward from where they had been standing against a wall with a bow of their own. The two had a short, private conversation before the guard led them towards the elevator that would take them out of the building.
“I supposed Ialdir and Kal’narn left.” Ri’kara said as the door closed.
Why was that of such a concern? “Disappointed, are you?”
“No. I don’t mind either way.”
They made their way silently out of the building, towards the residential tower that had become his Aiur home. He didn’t bother to start another conversation as they entered the next building and took another elevator, too busy trying to turn over the events of the evening.
“You are unusually quiet.”
“I wish to rest.”
She nodded, face falling a little at his curt tone, keeping quiet from then on.
It was maddening the guilt that expression made him feel. He couldn’t help but frown a little. It was as though the entire event was made specifically to make these emotions worse for him. Why did he allow Artanis to talk him into attending at all?
“Goodnight, Val’ka.” Ri’kara said openly once they reached his door, bowing. His own guard moved out of the way so that he could go inside.
“Goodnight, Ri’kara.” He replied, entering his chambers and sighing as the door closed behind him. Finally, some solace; he would actually be able to think without needing to see the look on her face.
‘And why is this necessary? It is a frivolous party; there is no use in my attendance.’
‘It looks better if you are willing to partake in some of our gatherings and traditions; most do not believe that your people would ever truly be willing to try and ally with the Daelaam, even with the efforts we have made up to now.’
The conversation he and Artanis had in the training room prior to the gathering replayed in his head, and he growled, letting himself have the anger and annoyance he had been pushing down for the whole event as he removed the complicated garments he had been given to wear. It did an excellent job of minimising the other things he had been feeling.
“I am sure politics was your only reason for inviting me, Templar.” Alarak muttered. “I am sure it had nothing to do with the Matriarch handing you an ulterior motive.”
Once again he thought about the realisation he had while watching Ri’kara in the balcony garden, the way the Matriarch had looked at them both when they had reappeared, her comments beforehand when the little Tal’darim had first arrived.
She must know about these emotional flare ups somehow. The whole thing must have been an experiment for her amusement. The idea made him scowl. Nobody knew himself better than he. He would not be a project for them to toy with.
“I will simply ask Artanis how to stop these distractions. That should put a stop to their meddling.”
It had been years already since it had started, but it was a short enough amount of time that he was sure with some discipline he would be able to quash what he had allowed to grow unchecked. Keeping more distance between himself, Artanis, and Ri’kara would be enough.
“I have already allowed myself an indulgence I should not have entertained. It ends now. I am not here for such ridiculous notions.”
Even though he had already made up his mind about this earlier, saying it aloud, making sure that he was correct in his assumptions, it was all reassuring, conviction clearing the storm in his mind. Standing up, Alarak swept over to the communication panel on the wall beside the door that led into the hallway, making sure to keep the video feed turned off; he did not have the time to put on his armour for a call that would only take a moment.
Ji’nara’s face, concealed by her usual helmet, flickered abruptly onto the screen. “Highlord? It is late. What do you require?”
He scoffed, scowling even though she couldn’t see his face. “You should know by now that I expect you to be ready at any moment, Ji’nara. Make preparations; I am returning within the week and will be staying for as long as I see fit.”
As long as Artanis will allow.
“Yes, Highlord.” Her voice betrayed some annoyance, but she bowed her head, and he cut off the feed abruptly, not bothering to scold her.
Making sure the door was locked, he seated himself back on his bed and carefully removed his prosthetic, getting comfortable enough to allow himself to fall into a light sleep.
Ri’kara sighed softly as the door closed behind her, staring blankly into her empty room for a moment before shaking herself and beginning to extract herself from the intricate layers of her dress. For some reason, the short way he had spoken to her had hurt more than it should have after everything else that had happened that evening.
“You shouldn’t take it personally, Ri’kara.” She carefully folded the deep red fabric, examining the pin-prick sparkles of silver. “He was clearly tired after everything; you’re the same about too much socialisation.”
It had been an… odd night.
“It went… Well. I’ll have to apologise to the Hierarch for letting him ask me to get him out of the dance, though. I’m sure he spent way too much time trying to teach him.”
The dance. She placed the bundle in her little closet and tried not to flush lilac again at the thought of it. One of the things that had confused her most was how her hearts had suddenly felt too big for her chest, how she felt like she… wanted to be closer. It was so unlike the unease she felt whenever Ialdir touched her; she never felt safe with him, but it wasn’t like the way she felt when Uljia or Inzar touched her either. She felt… a different kind of safe, a fluttering that had increased in frequency over the past few years that she had tried very hard not to address.
Putting the heel of her hand to her forehead, she closed her eyes and growled with frustration. Her mind rattled through all the symptoms Uljia had once described.
‘You know, a fluttering in your chest. You feel light, giddy, you want to be close to them, you want them to touch you and hold you. Surely you’ve had that, right?’
‘No. Not ever… Is that… Is there something wrong with me?’
‘No! No, not at all, ‘kara, don’t worry. You’re… Just like Inzar, clearly. He loves his younglings, and he loves us, but not in that way. He hasn’t felt that either; he says he never will.’ Uljia laughed softly. ‘Much to Tan’dir’s disappointment.’
Ri’kara growled again, slipping out of the tight leotard that made up the underneath of the dress and frowning. “I’m not like Inzar am I?”
Pulling on her soft robes, she moved out of her closet and sat down at her desk, beginning to tinker with some of the parts strewn across its surface, more just to have something to do with her hands than anything else.
“By the void, it would be so much fucking easier if I was. Him? Really? Years of meeting new Protoss and making friends, and never feeling anything and then suddenly—"
She clicked together two halves of a joint that seemed to connect to nothing else in her scraps and stared down at it. After a moment, she let out a short, emotionless laugh, before throwing the joined piece back into the pile of other spares and rolling her eyes.
“Why couldn’t it have been anyone else? Why not Ialdir, hm? He seems interested, at least, even if...”
Her skin suddenly crawled at the way his eyes had made their journey down her body, and the too-tight grip he had on her hand as he pressed it to his rough face. She remembered the way that Urach’s thin fingers slid down her spine, and the iron grip on her upper arm whenever he couldn’t be bothered to reach for her cord ring.
Almost without thinking, Ri’kara lit a stick of incense and took a long drag from it, trying to dispel the lingering scent of Terrazine that had appeared out of the blue. She got up to pace across the length of the room.
“Clearly you just have to put more distance between yourself and him. You’ve let yourself get too friendly because you feel a little sorry for how out of place he clearly is, and it’s conjured up some infatuation. It’ll go away.”
She nodded to herself, satisfied with the conclusion; saying it aloud like that gave it enough weight for it to be reassuring. Of course it would go away. It would be fine in a few years.
After a few more paces across her room, she discarded the burned-out incense and turned out the soft lights. Very suddenly, she was exhausted; all the tension in her body left her as she crawled between her sheets and sank into the soft bedding to sleep.
---
