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“Tony I thought we had an agreement about the phone,” Steve sighed when he turned around yet again and saw Tony furiously typing out a message on his cell phone.
Tony held up one finger in a give-me-a-minute motion and Steve just rolled his eyes. Tony stuck out the end of his tongue as if trying to convince Steve that he was trying really, really hard to be fast. He finished and stuck the phone in his pocket. “It was important business stuff, Steve.”
“Pepper is taking care of all the business stuff,” Steve replied. He held out a hand. “Give me the phone, Tony. We made a deal.”
“Yeah I don’t think you get to call it a deal when you don’t have to give up anything,” Tony grumbled.
“You promised that you wouldn’t use your cellphone unless there was an Avengers call and we will both get that if one comes through. Give me the phone,” Steve said patiently.
Tony stuck out his tongue and slowly pulled his phone out of his pocket and put it in Steve’s outstretched hand. “I’m not happy about this, I want you to know.”
“I know.” Steve put the cellphone on silent - yes, he had learned that much about cellphones - and tucked it into one of the pockets of the backpack that he shifted higher up on his shoulders. “We’ll be at the camp site soon.”
“Good, I’m getting bored.”
Steve sighed and rolled his eyes but didn’t remark on it. He started back up the trail with Tony keeping up a constant stream of witty complaints the whole way. Steve ignored him for as long as he could before Tony made a particularly snarky comment about the way that the trail was obviously meant to punish everyone who had to trek it and Steve stopped.
“Tony, the whole point of this is for us to enjoy our time alone together,” he reminded.
“We could have enjoyed plenty of alone time without having to leave StarkTower,” Tony snipped.
“Tony please.”
The billionaire crossed his arms and sniffed haughtily, scanning around his person at the woods surrounding them, well away from technology and any other human contact. Of course, there was no where that StarkPhones couldn’t get service but since he no longer had that connection to civilization he wasn’t feeling particularly charitable towards the trees and flowers. Or Steve for that matter.
“At least stop complaining. Find something good to say. The whole point of camping and hiking is appreciating nature. You don’t get out into nature often enough in the city.” Steve started walking again and Tony had to hurry to follow. Steve was already going fairly slow to make up for the fact that yes, Tony was getting tired, and his legs were rather shorter than Steve’s.
“Is that a you meaning me or a you meaning humans in general?” He caught his foot on a root and he hissed a curse at it.
Steve tutted quietly. “Say something nice.”
“What? Now I have to say something nice to the tree limb to make up for cursing at it?”
“No, I want you to say something nice about where we are because you haven’t said one positive thing yet.”
“Yes, I have. I said that the service out here was nice.”
“Tony…”
Tony frowned petulantly. “Fine… the moss on those trees is a very nice green color.”
Steve stopped to look at the moss too and then turned to give Tony a blindingly bright smile. “It is,” he agreed.
Tony wanted to be pissy about having to say nice things about nature but it was almost worth it to see Steve smile. Damn him. “And I guess those yellow flowers are nicer than the ones at the flower shop,” he offered. There was something very strange about seeing Steve gets so excited about something so small. He actually walked over to the little patch of yellow flowers and crouched down to see them better. “You know, if I had my phone I could take a picture so you could keep it forever.”
“No, I don’t want to take a picture. Every time you go out in nature there’s something different. We need to learn to appreciate that things aren’t going to stay the same forever,” Steve replied wisely.
Tony fought to control his eye roll.
Steve stood again, smoothing out the jeans that he was wearing for once. It had actually been his part of the deal for Tony’s cellphone - no cellphone, not awful khakis. “Let’s keep going. I can hear water. We’ll be getting to a place to set up the tents soon.”
Due to Steve’s genetically enhanced hearing, it still took them the better part of an hour to reach the source of the water sound. It happened to just bit a little stream with strategically placed stepping stones that Steve walked across without a thought. Tony stood on the other side, looking down at the new hiking boots that he had bought specially for the occasion and the ratty jeans that were his favorite for work in the lab. There was absolutely no telling what was in that water.
“Come on,” Steve called from the other side.
“Yeah no, I think I’ll pass. Isn’t there a bridge or something?” Tony called back.
Steve probably sighed but he came back easily over the stepping stones. Tony could see the slickness of the water over the tops. There was no way he was walking over those. “Come on, it’s not going to kill you. They’re actually really easy to walk over.”
“Easy for you, maybe,” Tony muttered.
“If they weren’t then people wouldn’t come up this way,” Steve answered. “We did pick one of the easiest trails, remember?”
“I do believe you picked the easiest trail.”
“Because you complained so much,” Steve muttered. He walked out a few stones away from the shore and held out a hand. “Come on, I’ll keep you steady if you’re too scared to walk across on your own.”
“I am not scared.”
“You’re acting like it.”
“Oh shut up,” Tony grumbled. He stepped out onto the first one slowly, testing all possible foot placements before putting the rest of his weight on it. Water sloshed up and tossed tiny dark spots onto his boots. He made a face at them. Steve held out his hand again and Tony refused it with a haughtily upturned nose. “I can do it myself, O Great Captain.”
Steve shrugged and moved forward again, crossing in seconds. Tony stretched out to the second one, repeated the careful arranging of his step again, and then moved the rest of himself forward. More water reached his boots. There was no way he was going to wear these ever again.
“The water’s not deep. Even if you fall you’re not going to get that wet,” Steve called.
“Wet is still worse than being dry,” Tony snapped. He stretched out for another and another and slowly he reached the center of the little stream, roughly six stones on either side. There was only about a foot of water at the center but it still was enough to make him a little twitchy about the potential for falling.
He stretched out once more, and paused when Steve called, “Be careful! That one’s slippery.” He made a face and put his foot down with an irritated face in Steve’s direction.
And his foot promptly slid off and suddenly Tony Stark was ass deep in grimy, mossy stream water.
The shock of suddenly falling on his ass, and ow, rocks, distracted him for a moment before that shock was replaced by repulsion from the feeling of water seeping through his jeans and into his boots and socks and then he heard Steve’s laugh.
He glared over at the other bank where Steve was bent over in half with his hands on his knees, laughing his lungs out. “This is not funny!” Tony shouted.
“Yes, it is!” Steve shouted back when he caught a large enough breath.
“Are you going to help me or not?” Tony spluttered.
Steve managed to get enough of a hold on himself to step out over the rocks again. He held out a hand to Tony when he was close enough and Tony took that moment to forcibly yank Steve into the water also. And yeah, super human, he probably let Tony pull him in, but it was quite satisfying when Steve landed on his knees and hands in the stream.
But he was still laughing.
So naturally Tony flung water towards his stupidly perfect face. “I hope you’re happy about this.”
“Oh I am,” Steve assured him. And Tony tried to duck away from Steve splashing towards his face and was largely unsuccessful. What was Tony to do but retaliate?
Tony would always deny the fact that he had an impromptu water battle with Captain America in the middle of a tiny stream but Steve always smiled too broadly whenever it was brought up for anyone to believe him.
Steve scooped Tony up bodily after a few minutes, carrying him as easily as the backpack on his shoulders to shore where he set him down carefully and checked him swiftly for real injuries besides the look of absolute death Tony was giving him under sopping wet hair. Steve couldn’t stop giggling either and after a moment of trying to keep a straight face, Tony couldn’t help but laugh too.
“I wish you could see your face,” Tony said.
“I wish you could see yours,” Steve answered. He brushed Tony’s water logged hair off his forehead. “It’s admittedly not as attractive as it is after a shower but it’s pretty close.”
“You’re attractive no matter what you do,” Tony griped without any real heat.
Steve took a moment to lean down and drop a kiss onto the tip of Tony’s nose. When he drew back, Tony was still smiling. “I think I could grow to like the half-drowned-in-a-stream look.”
“I did not ‘half-drown’.”
“From the way you were acting you’d think you were. Drama queen,” Steve said while working his hands through Tony’s hair again.
“Excuse you, I am the king of drama.”
“I know,” Steve answered with an indulgent smile. He leaned down and kissed Tony’s forehead. “When we get to the campsite we can get you out of those clothes.”
“Is that a promise, Captain America?” Tony asked with a suggestive eyebrow wiggle.
Steve huffed a laugh and answered by kissing Tony’s lips gently. “Yeah, it’s a promise.”
And if Steve just happened to have dropped Tony’s phone in the stream when Tony was distracted, no one could fault him for the accident.