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Anger throbbed under Laurance’s skin igniting every fiber of him as he stood hands gripping the edge of the desk. Nothing particularly set him off each little thing that happened slowly ticked at the already fragile state he was in. His shadow knight form pulsing underneath his mind wanting to force it’s way out begging to lash out at any inconvenience. It pushed him to his limit to keep his emotions in check.
Terrified at the thought of losing control again. Of hurting someone.He took in a breath eyes opening to stare blankly at the wall in front of him. His armor felt tight against his skin the hair brushing against his neck his vision as blurred unable to ever fully focus.
Letting out a low growl he resisted the urge to chuck something it the wall. Opting instead to angrily rip his arm from his body taking off the bulk barely put a dent into his growing frustration.
The armor was clumsy torn off and laid sporadically on the floor loud clangs as each piece fell to the floor.
“.. For Irene’s sake.”
Was said through gritted teeth his hands desperately clawing at any all offend material itching at his skin. Eventually Laurance was just stood in the middle of his room left only in his canvas pants.
Despite this he could still feel each little hair and itch and throb of still painful scars on his body, tears threatening to fall only being stopped by his complete refusal to let any emotion through.
Cutting through his spiral Garroth stood at the now open door knocking on the doorframe.
“Laurance?”
He said softly the familiar clanking of his armor echoing as he walked in, the normally comforting noise only drilling through Laurance’s head.
“.. What.” Laurance said through still gritted teeth.
“I came back from patrol, Dante said he heard some commotion.”
Garroth scanned the room his eyes catching on each piece of armor before looking to Laurance. Ever since he had gotten back from the Nether Garroth refuse to fully look at him. Their once strong relationship cracking under the weight of Laurance’s trauma and isolation.
Garroth’s gaze caught a glimpse of one of many long jagged scar’s running along the others chest before quickly looking away.
It only furthered Laurance’s annoyance.
“I’m fine Garroth.”
“Clearly you’re not fine.”
Taking his hand off the handle of his sword Garroth reached out to set a hand on his bare shoulder.
“Laurance Please-“
Almost immediately his hand was slapped off pale blue eyes filled with anger stared in his direction.
“I said I’m fine Garroth.”
He seethed turning to face the other their eyes not meeting.
“You can’t touch me if you won’t even look at me.”
The words came out of nowhere his frustrations mixing and melding into a mess of emotions. The barely contained burn of his Shadow knight form bursting at the seams through the streams of anger flowing out of him. “Laurance I can look at you.” Garroth’s normally soothing voice feel on deaf ears as Laurance stepped forward looking at him.
“Then why aren’t you Huh?”
He prodded.
“What’s the problem? Is it my scars?”
Garroth tensed at that his body betrayed his stoic face, “Love- Please.”
“No.” Swiftly cutting him off Laurance’s anger brimmed to the surface. “It is the scars.. Do I disgust you now? Am I just damaged goods.”
Laurence’s voice raised coming closer in a attempt to force him to look Garroth debated on stepping back but didn’t taking the weeks of bottled up anger.
“I- Love of course not.”
“Bullshit.. You- You can’t even look at me now.”
The discussion was clearly going nowhere productive despite Garroth wanting it to, He had walked in expecting something bad but this was worse.
“Why can’t you look at me like you used to.. Like a person.”
The crack in Laurance’s voice betrying his anger and opening the flood gate of tears.
Calmly and slowly Garroth brought a hand out setting it on his arm pulling him into Garroth’s chest.
“I- I can’t look at you because it’s hurts to much.” Garroth murmured softly.
The cold metal of his chestplate permeating Laurance’s body, almost hissing at the temperature difference.
“Your wounds- Your scars hurt me to look at, it reminds me I couldn’t protect you.”
Garroth’s voice was low only loud enough to barely get the words out next to the other mans ear. With a shaky breath Laurance silently, desperately held onto his partner. His earlier frustrations coming back around the itching and throbbing at his skin no longer fed his anger but his hurt.
In a better mindset Laurance would been embarrassed but his mind was mess of pure emotion no logical or illogical thought was passing through. Silently Garroth held him gently running a hand up through his hair the down to rest on his back gently rubbing it.
Holding him close until his cries stopped moving to small whimpers.
“Laurance, Love are you alright?”
“What do you think.”
Was all he could muster back any energy left was being used to keep Laurance standing despite mostly leaning on Garroth.
“I think we need to have a conversation later and you need rest.”
Garroth spoke forever stuck in his rigid social norms and etiquette spoke as he helped Laurance to the bed.
“Dante can take over your patrols for tomorrow.”
Being left with very little room for argument Laurance gave a nod.
“Are you.. Upset with me?”
The question took both by surprise and Garroth just shook his head.
“No- No I’m not upset about the outburst.. However I am upset that you felt so strongly you had one.”
Laurance let out a breath and looked up. “Thanks for staying.”
Garroth hummed and ran a hand through Laurance’s hair.
“It’s no issue my love.”