Archive of Our Own

"Without you, late nights don't mean a thing, yeah”

…

♡

“I decided I'm going to ask him out on a date” Taesan dropped his backpack on the library table, making his friend startle.

“Shhhh” the librarian glared at Taesan.

“I’m sorry” he gave a short bow and smiled.

“Who are you going to ask out on a date?” Myung Jaehyun, his best friend since elementary school, widened his eyes.

“Kim Leehan” Taesan smiled.

“What?” Jaehyun frowned “why would you do that?”

“Why wouldn’t I do it? He's really handsome and I think it'll be nice to go on a date with him” Taesan shrugged.

“You’re kidding” Jaehyun looked offended.

“I’m not” Taesan frowned “what’s your problem?”

“What about Park Sungho?”

“They’re just friends” Taesan shrugged. “Sungho is Kim Leehan’s sunbaenim”

“I’m asking about you, I thought you had a crush on Park Sungho”

“Have you finally gone crazy?” Taesan’s eyes widened, his ears feeling hot.

“Taesan, for God’s sake” Jaehyun snorted a laugh “you pick on Park Sungho all the time, you only talk about Park Sungho…”

“You can stop there” Taesan snorted a laugh “he picks on me, treats me like a child, tries to boss me around and he’s so…”

"Pretty? Cute?" Jaehyun wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“But don’t even think you have any chance with him” Taesan huffed again, he was starting to feel stressed.

“How do you know?” Jaehyun frowned.

“I just know” Taesan rolled his eyes.

“If you don’t want to be with him, why can’t I try?”

“As your friend, I’m just making sure you don’t get a no right in your face” Taesan smiled.

“You really are such an idiot” Jaehyun narrowed his eyes.

“I'm really being honest with you” Taesan squeezed Jaehyun's shoulder “you don't have any chance with Park Sungho”

“And do you have it?”

“I don’t even want to have it” Taesan shrugged.

“But what if you wanted to?” Jaehyun shrugged.

“If I wanted to, which I don’t” Taesan closed his eyes and let out a heavy, noisy breath. He pinched the bridge of his nose, ignoring his ears that were getting hotter and hotter. “In another universe, another reality…”

“I get it, if you wanted to date Park Sungho, but you don’t…”

“I definitely don’t want to” Taesan widened his eyes, then slumped his shoulders and sighed, it’s really very difficult to imagine himself having anything with Park Sungho “but if I wanted to, I know I’d have less of a chance than you”

“Why do you say that?” Jaehyun raised an eyebrow, looking genuinely shocked “he’s handsome, but you’re handsome too”

“Park Sungho is good at literally anything he wants to do” Taesan shrugged “good student, good at sports, good at video games, good at playing the guitar, good at writing poems, good at drawing…”

“Yes, he’s great, really talented.”

“Yes, he is” Taesan bit his lower lip trying not to smile a little silly and… why does he kind of feel proud of Park Sungho being perfect? ​​He shook his head to dispel such intrusive thoughts.

“But you’re not bad”

“Thanks, I guess” Taesan frowned.

“Oh, you play guitar, bass and drums” Jaehyun’s eyes widened, bouncing excitedly “and now we even have a band that is almost successful and Park Sungho has already come to see us”

“But in case you forgot, if there’s one thing he’s the best at, it’s treating me like a child and the age difference between us is only eleven months” Taesan snorted “obviously he would go see the band of… I don’t even know what I am to him”

“I don’t think he treats you like a child” Jaehyun’s eyes widened.

“Sometimes, almost always, I feel like Park Sungho treats my brother like he’s older than me”

“In Sungho’s defense, Woonhak was born an adult”

“Anyway” Taesan rolled his eyes “I wouldn’t have a chance with him and that’s why I’m sure you don’t either”

“Well, I still think I’ll try” Jaehyun smiled “this could only be a sign from the universe”

Taesan frowned, then looked in the direction Jaehyun's gaze was looking. And there, at the library counter, was he, Taesan's ruin: Park Sungho, and he was smiling in that cute way, where his eyes disappear and he covers his mouth with his hand. 

Of course Sungho would show up there, his best friend, Lee Riwoo, was gently covering the librarian's assistant again. 

Not that Taesan cares, because he doesn't.

Taesan rolled his eyes and slumped in his chair. It’s obvious that Jaehyun is right when he says that Sungho is handsome. He is handsome, pretty, beautiful… Taesan knows that very well, he has eyes after all, but Taesan wasn’t lying when he said that Sungho treats him like a child.

They met when Sungho's parents moved into the house across from Taesan's house. He was never good at making new friends, so Park Sungho approached him first, smiling and being cute. Taesan liked him from the first moment.

It only took a few hours and an ice cream for Taesan to find out that Sungho wouldn’t be going to school with him. Because he was eleven months older than Taesan, Sungho was already in his first year of high school, while Taesan was still in his last year of elementary school. How bad.

And so, when summer vacation ended, Sungho went to school and met Lee Riwoo, his best friend. Taesan hardly saw him anymore… maybe he was exaggerating, but they didn’t see each other that often anymore. And when they did see each other, Sungho was always cute and kind. Taesan felt weird because Sungho always dragged him by the hand to get ice cream.

A year passes very quickly and finally Taesan was in high school. Park Sungho was his sunbaenim and took his role as hyung very seriously, wanting to take care of Taesan at all times, even though Taesan was already a good ten centimeters taller than him.

At that time, Taesan's mother asked Sungho to take care of Woonhak, Taesan's younger brother, who was only three years younger than him. Even though Taesan insisted that he could do it, his mother seemed to see an aura of responsibility in Sungho that she certainly did not see in Taesan.

The babysitters were dismissed, Woonhak loved spending time with Sungho, who adored Woonhak as if he were his own little brother. Unfortunately for Taesan, in addition to going to and from school with Sungho, seeing him at break every day and also crossing paths with him whenever he went out, he also had to live with him inside his house, being cute and offering to help him with school. Help that Taesan never asked for.

Interestingly, Taesan and Sungho went back to hanging out together all the time, random outings where they would simply stop by each other's houses to do literally anything, like the time they went to buy band aids at the drugstore down the street. Sometimes they had Woonhak with them and spent hours at the arcade.

It was when Sungho was in his last year of high school and Taesan was in his second-to-last year, right in the first week of school - after Sungho whined while hugging Taesan and said something about their last year in the same school and something about who would take care of Taesan - that Taesan exploded, saying that he is not a child and that he can't stand being treated like a baby by Sungho anymore.

His memory is a little faulty, but maybe Taesan said something about Sungho bothering him a lot all the time and maybe he told the older boy to leave him alone. 

He will never forget the wide eyes and the surprised, slightly confused, almost scared and sad expression on Sungho's handsome face. 

After that day, Sungho spoke to Taesan only when necessary. Always smiling, always sweet, but only when he was practically forced to, both at school and even when he was babysitting Woonhak. 

They also stopped going out together, which they did surprisingly often and Taesan only realized this when he simply no longer had Sungho knocking on his door randomly to drag Taesan on even more random outings.

The same way Taesan missed being the person knocking on Sungho's door, to take him on random outings. And, often, Taesan would find himself crossing the street to ask Sungho to eat cake, then he would remember that things between them were weird and the desire to eat cake would go away.

They didn't hang out together anymore, unless Woonhak was involved in it, then the three of them would go out. And even though Woonhak had a personal mission to make Taesan's life a premium hell experience, he never denied these tours. Frankly, he watched the most boring movie in the world just because Sungho was going too.

The Taesan of almost two years ago - the one who was dying to be an adult and was bothered by Sungho treating him like a child - would deny even under torture that he missed hanging out with Sungho. 

The Taesan of the present had already admitted to himself that he missed simply sitting on the sidewalk drinking milkshakes with Sungho while the older boy talked about the stars.

Then Sungho graduated from high school and entered architecture school while Taesan was in his last year of high school. He was finally free from Park Sungho at school, and he hardly saw him anymore because Woonhak was involved in activities that kept him busy most of the time. Without Woonhak it was the same as without Sungho.

And it was the worst year for Taesan.

He felt stressed all the time, hated his teachers and his subjects. He was about to freak out when he went out on his skateboard without even looking where he was going and, sure enough, it was a supernatural force that put an orange cat right in front of him, causing him to fall right in front of Park Sungho's favorite cafe, when Park Sungho himself was leaving there.

The older boy shouted for him seconds before Taesan crashed to the ground and scraped his hands, knees and elbows.

Before he knew it, Sungho had approached him, smiling gently and making a silly joke about being relieved that Taesan's beautiful nose had survived the fall without any injuries. Without realizing it, Taesan ended up laughing with him, while something twisted in his stomach and threatened to come out of his throat.

The sweet and gentle Sungho persisted until he got Taesan to let him clean his wounds, then made Taesan pour out all his troubles to him. 

They spent a few hours sitting on the swing in the park, eating ice cream until they finally decided to go home, only because it was getting cold and there was a strange haze in the sky that almost didn't let them see the stars. Before Taesan opened the gate, Sungho hugged him from behind and told him that everything would be okay.

Everything kind of went well, Taesan didn't fail, he didn't get into trouble at school either and, a few months later, he entered university to study audiovisual production. Once again, only one building separated him from Park Sungho, and they always crossed paths during class breaks.

 Taesan still has strange outings involving Park Sungho and his annoying younger brother. He often wonders if Sungho misses the times when it was just the two of them, without Woonhak. He also wonders if Sungho would accept a random outing if Taesan randomly knocked on his door like he used to.

And Taesan doesn't really know how he feels about it.

“And how are you going to ask Kim Leehan out on a date?”

Jaehyun’s voice pulled Taesan out of his thoughts.

“What?” Taesan didn’t realize he was staring at Park Sungho until now, the older boy was still laughing as he leaned over the library counter to see something Riwoo was showing on his laptop screen. He was wearing one of those cropped tops that made Taesan wonder what was going on inside the head of the person who invented those things. Taesan looked away and had the decency to blush.

“I asked how you’re going to ask Leehan for the date” Jaehyun rolled his eyes “are you okay?” “Are you okay?”

“Oh yeah.” Taesan cleared his throat. “I’ll text him. He’s organizing a protest against captive fish, something like that, I got his number from the poster.”

“How romantic” Jaehyun grimaced “so you’re going to protest for the fish?”

“If he already likes me by then and agrees to go out with me” Taesan shrugged, his eyes once again fell on Park Sungho, he whimpered and pouted, while Riwoo rolled his eyes, but apparently gave in to something, because soon, Sungho smiled.

“And you’re the guy who’s super into Kim Leehan” Jaehyun snorted a laugh.

“Nothing” Jaehyun smiled.

Taesan rolled his eyes, and for the fourth or fifth time, his eyes fell back to Park Sungho. In his defense, Sungho was right in front of him, so it wasn’t Taesan’s fault that his eyes landed on him.

He watched as Sungho said goodbye to Riwoo and left the library. Maybe Taesan straightened his posture and stretched his neck to follow his steps... and that's when his eyes fell on Riwoo.

The red-haired boy was already staring at Taesan, smiling sideways with one eyebrow raised. Taesan widened his eyes and looked away, pretending to be looking at some random spot. His stomach was in knots and he felt like a kid who had been caught stealing the frosting from a birthday cake.

Taesan focused on just doing his classwork for the rest of the afternoon.

♡

“I’m here” Taesan announced loudly, as soon as he entered his house.

“Taesan” his mother came running from the kitchen.

“Hi, Mom”

“I need you to do me a favor” she smiled sweetly and Taesan sighed.

It was so obvious that there was a specific reason for all the excitement that Taesan wanted to laugh. His mother handed him a piece of paper with a phone number scribbled on it. Taesan frowned, waiting for more information.

“It's Sungho's new number, I got it from his mom” Taesan's mom smiled.

“Park Sungho?” Taesan felt his stomach do a complete 360 degree turn.

“And do you know another one?” She laughed as if Taesan were a fool. And maybe he really was…

The first thing that crossed Taesan’s mind was a post from Sungho a few days ago, complaining about changing his phone number because he was getting too many prank calls.

At the time, Taesan didn’t think much of it, he just found Sungho cute and could imagine the boy whining at every prank call, but now he wonders why he feels weird about not getting Sungho’s new number directly from Sungho himself?

“What do I do with this?”

“Do your mommy a favor” she shrugged like it was obvious “text Sungho, ask if he can stay with Woonhak on Saturday”

“Don’t you think Woonhak is a little too old to have a babysitter?” Taesan frowned, frankly he was already home alone at sixteen “besides, I’ll be home on Saturday”

“Your brother prefers Sungho” she pouted.

“Back in my day, I didn’t have a choice” Taesan rolled his eyes.

“Back in your day, we didn’t have Park Sungho” Taesan’s mother laughed “wait a minute, we did, he took care of you two.”

“Mom, Sungho is only eleven months older than me” Taesan huffed out a laugh, completely frustrated. Taesan narrowed his eyes, maybe his mother had contributed to Sungho seeing him as a child.

“Oh, really?” Taesan’s mother looked genuinely confused. 

He just groaned in frustration and went to his bedroom. Taesan rubbed his hands over his face and messed up his hair, this is so annoying. When would he be seen as an adult by his parents, by his brother and especially by Park Sungho? 

Maybe when he could get a boyfriend.

With that thought, Taesan took Kim Leehan's number out of his pocket and smiled at his chance. Taesan pulled out his phone, threw himself between his pillows and started typing the message.

"Mommy said you're going to talk to Sungho hyung." Woonhak entered Taesan's room, making the older boy startle.

“Don’t you know how to knock?” Taesan opened his eyes wide.

“You better give me my hyung’s number, I’ll talk to him myself” Woonhak rolled his eyes.

“Woonhak, I’ll text Sungho, okay?” Taesan poked his cheek with his tongue.

“You'll forget and I'll have to stay home alone with you” Woonhak crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“I won’t forget” Taesan rolled his eyes “what’s wrong with being home alone with me?”

“What’s wrong?” Woonhak laughed “you fight with me all the time, you’re annoying, you cook badly and you have terrible taste in movies. My Sungho hyung is always cute and kind, he likes me and…” Woonhak stopped to catch his breath “do you want me to continue?”

“I’m already texting him” Taesan rolled his eyes. He bit his tongue, wanting to say that Sungho is cute all the time, so Sungho’s cuteness doesn’t mean Woonhak is special.

“Great” Woonhak smiled.

“You can go now” Taesan sighed in frustration.

“Oh no” Woonhak laughed “I’ll wait for you to send the message”

“Annoying brat” Taesan grumbled and pulled out the paper with Sungho’s number.

‘Taesan: Hey, this is Han Taesan. I’m sorry to bother you, but it seems like my brother likes you a lot more than me. Are you free to babysit him on Saturday?’

“Satisfied?” Taesan showed the chat screen with Sungho to Woonhak.

“Thank you, hyung” Woonhak smiled cutely and left the room, slamming the door behind him, finally leaving Taesan to his thoughts and Kim Leehan's phone number.

He was feeling calmer than he thought he would when sending a message asking someone out on a date.

‘Taesan: Hey, this is Han Taesan. I know this is random and a little weird, but would you like to have coffee with me? Like a date?’

Now he was a little more nervous, he still felt like he was in control of his emotions, but pressing ‘send’ was a little desperate, because of that feeling that he couldn’t give up or regret it.

There's no going back, after all. So all that's left to do is wait.

If Taesan gets rejected, ok. He was fully aware that he wasn’t irresistible and, for sure, he wasn’t everyone’s type. He wouldn’t be the first or the last person to go through something like this. People get rejected all the time.

Taesan started to feel awkward, a little more nervous and slightly desperate after he got out of the shower and still didn't have any response on his phone.

Leehan ignoring his message was an option Taesan had already considered. But Park Sungho hadn't responded either, and he always responded so quickly. Taesan furrowed his eyebrows, he was going to wait a little longer before chasing Sungho on social media or knocking on his door.

By ‘wait a little longer’ Taesan meant that he would give the boys some time, after all they might be busy with their own things. After dinner, Taesan finally surrendered to his curiosity, he tried to ignore his phone for as long as he could and well, he reached his limit.

A message had been received. Taesan felt his heart skip a beat.

‘Unknown number: I’m flattered, but I haven’t been babysitting since I forgot my cousin at the playground. I’m sorry about your little brother.’

Taesan’s eyes widened.

Did Park Sungho really forget a child in the square? That is indeed unbelievable. Taesan opened Sungho's contact details, he still couldn't see his photo and that only meant one thing: Park Sungho didn't even save his contact.

He felt a little weird, but it was okay… it was okay only because Taesan also hadn't saved Park Sungho's contact yet. They were tied, for now. Before he could save Sungho’s contact, a new notification flashed on his screen.

‘Future boyfriend: Hi? Are you sure you texted the right person?’

Taesan laughed at the cute reply.

Okay, he needed to respond quickly and he needed to learn how to flirt even more quickly.

He sighed and rolled his eyes, he was definitely going to regret this, but he didn't have many options and was getting slightly nervous. It's like they say: desperate situations call for desperate measures.

And so, two minutes later, Taesan was on the phone with Jaehyun, finishing up telling him about Leehan's answer.

“Dude, he didn’t dump you”

“It doesn’t seem like it” Taesan sighed “and now, what do I do?”

“Answering doesn’t sound good? You should”

“I know that, I don’t know what to answer, genius”

“Oh, flirt with him, show him that you’re interested, but make it seem natural”

“I don’t know why I called you” Taesan groaned in frustration.

“Because I have more experience than you and because you only have me”

“Shut up”

“Wait, calm down. Tell him that you couldn’t be mistaken, because he’s so handsome that you can’t take your eyes off him”

Kim Leehan really is a handsome boy, very handsome, but when Taesan thinks about Jaehyun's words and this thing about not being able to take his eyes off someone, his mind automatically brings up images of Park Sungho and his cute laugh in the library and how Taesan couldn't stop looking at him.

What the hell does that mean?

Taesan was hyperventilating and feeling dizzy.

“That’s how you feel, right?”

“Yes, exactly like that” Taesan squinted his eyes and scratched his forehead.

“Great, you better feel that way, then your words will be sincere”

“I’ll call you later”

“Wait…”

Why the hell was he thinking about Park Sungho? It's not like he never thinks about Park Sungho - which is normal, right? Simply because Taesan has known Sungho for a few years, it's natural that some everyday things make him think about him - but did he have to think about Park Sungho right now?

His insane mind could only be trying to make Taesan completely crazy..

He rubbed his eyes with his hands and wanted to scream, but he didn't, for obvious reasons. Taesan just opened the chat with Leehan again and stared at the cute message.

Taesan let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding until now. His hands were a little sweaty and he felt a little nauseous. He was losing his mind, but he couldn't leave the boy without an answer.

Besides, if he could go out with Leehan, maybe Park Sungho would have a break from his thoughts.

‘Future boyfriend: Hi? Are you sure you texted the right person?’

‘Taesan: Of course I do. I hope this doesn't sound too strange, but you're so beautiful I can't stop looking at you'

Once again, images of Park Sungho, throwing his head back, laughing at anything, painted Taesan's mind. He could hear the older boy’s laughter and it was disturbing, to say the least.

Then he realized that, at some point, Leehan had saved his contact, he realized this because his photo was showing up, unlike Park Sungho's photo which was inaccessible because he hadn't saved his contact yet.

Enough thinking about Sungho, at least for now. Taesan sighed frustrated with himself and clicked to enlarge the boy's photo, so he could see it better and maybe fill his entire mind with his beauty.

That was when he opened the photo and saw him: the soft brown hair covering his pale neck, the cute cheeks, the delicate and at the same time striking features, the cute little nose, the sweet smile that made his eyes close almost completely. In a green setting, full of trees, was Park Sungho being kissed by the sun.

Understanding dawned on him like a bolt of lightning, a pang hit the top of Taesan’s head and he laughed in complete panic. He had simply gotten confused and switched Leehan and Sungho’s numbers… and the message he wrote to Leehan, he had sent to Sungho.

His heart skipped a few beats and he doesn't know for sure if it was because of the panic and despair or because of the photo and how beautiful Sungho looks when he smiles like that...

A notification flashed on Taesan's screen, making him jump in fright. And he threw the phone away, as if the device was on fire and burning his hand. His whole body was shaking and he felt dizzy. Slowly and cautiously, Taesan approached, as if the phone were a wild animal, and carefully picked it up.

‘Future Boyfriend: Okay… is this some code for a distress call?’

‘Future Boyfriend: Dongmin, are you in trouble?’

‘Future Boyfriend: Wait, are you Dongmin? Where did you find this phone?’

‘Future Boyfriend: Oh my God, are you a hacker?’

Taesan couldn't help but smile. And when he realized he was smiling - it's not his fault, it's just because Park Sungho is so cute - he bit his lower lip, trying uselessly not to smile anymore.

Damn, no one calls him ‘Dongmin’ anymore.

Ever since Han Dongmin entered high school and adopted the name ‘Taesan’, simply because he wanted a strong-sounding name for when he finally started making it big in the music industry, he has never used ‘Dongmin’ again, nor have his parents called him ‘Dongmin’.

And the way Park Sungho calls him ‘Dongmin’ at every opportunity and all the time, when no one else calls him that, drives Taesan completely crazy. And he's not sure if he's mad with rage or something else... he just feels weird, his blood feels like it's boiling and his chest burns... yeah, it's probably rage.

‘Future Boyfriend: I’m calling the police’

Taesan’s eyes widened. What's up with Park Sungho? Taesan doesn't know, but he needs to answer. And he's responding only because he needs to stop Sungho, before he actually calls the police or knocks on his door.

‘Taesan: NO’

‘Taesan: Sungho, for God’s sake, there’s no need to call the police, it’s me’

‘Future Boyfriend: Prove it’s really you’

‘Taesan: How?’

‘Future Boyfriend: Say something only Han Dongmin would know’

‘Taesan: Your cat is called Apple Pie because we found him on top of an apple tree, Woonhak said that if he fell from there, he would end up turning into a shattered apple pie, so you made me climb the apple tree to catch the cat’

‘Future boyfriend: I didn’t make you climb the apple tree’

‘Taesan: If I didn’t climb it, you would. And I’m bigger than you’

‘Future boyfriend: Then, thank you’

‘Taesan: Then, you’re welcome’

Taesan found himself smiling a little silly while having that extremely silly conversation with a Park Sungho who is also very silly.

What is happening?

Three minutes after his reply was received by Park Sungho, he still hadn’t sent any message back… Could Taesan just let the matter drop and move on with his life? Of course yes, he should do that. But…

‘Taesan: Why didn’t you give me your new number?’

‘Future boyfriend: I thought you didn’t even have my old number, so what difference would it make?’

‘Future boyfriend: How did you get my number?’

‘Taesan: Your mom gave your number to my mom’

‘Taesan: And I had your old number’

‘Future boyfriend: Hahahahaaha’

‘Taesan: What?’

‘Future boyfriend: It’s true, you had my old number…’

‘Future boyfriend: So, when does your mom need me to stay with Woonhak?’

Taesan furrowed his eyebrows, what the hell does Woonhak have to do with this?

‘Taesan: What?’

‘Future boyfriend: Dongmin… hahaha’

‘Taesan: Hi?’

‘Future boyfriend: My mom gave my number to your mom’

‘Taesan: Yes’

‘Future boyfriend: You texted me’

‘Taesan: I did’

‘Future boyfriend: Your mom needs me to take care of Woonhagibaby’

‘Taesan: Who said that?’

‘Future boyfriend: You always call me when your mom needs me’

‘Taesan: Yes’

‘Future boyfriend: So she doesn’t need me to take care of Woonhak?’

And so, Taesan remembered how that conversation with Park Sungho started. Taesan wanted to laugh at himself, but he also wanted to hide and pretend he didn't exist. He pulled out a pillow and hit himself.

Yes, he should have called Sungho to ask him to babysit his brother.

But since nothing in Taesan's life goes as he plans, Woonhak was the last thing on his mind while talking to Park Sungho.

Frankly, Taesan wasn't even talking to Park Sungho because of Woonhak, because the message about Woonhak was on Kim Leehan's phone, the person Taesan was supposed to be talking to.

Damn, Taesan should be smiling like an idiot at Kim Leehan's silly answers and not Park Sungho's.

And he should have been making Leehan laugh... is he making Sungho laugh? Well, Sungho laughs easily, so the probability is high... God, what is he thinking right now?

He shouldn’t be thinking and imagining Park Sungho, being extra soft, wrapped in his fluffy blankets, wearing a hoodie with the hood pulled over his head… he’s probably wearing his glasses and Sungho looks so cute when he wears them. 

Taesan definitely shouldn’t be imagining any of that, he shouldn’t even care.

In fact, he should be arranging a date with Leehan right now…

But how could he be arranging a date with Kim Leehan now, if he had invited Park Sungho?

Wait a moment… Sungho completely ignored the invitation to go on a date with Taesan. Does this mean that Sungho rejected him? Did he just get dumped by Park Sungho? Not that he cares, because he doesn’t care.

He definitely doesn’t care.

Taesan didn't even want a date with Sungho, he wanted a date with Leehan, so it doesn't matter if Sungho chose to ignore his invitation. That's even better, because Taesan can just pretend the thing with Sungho didn't happen, send another message to Leehan, apologize, and ask him out on a date.

And Sungho is actually making it easier for Taesan, since Taesan doesn't want to date Sungho, never has. Park Sungho is a kind soul who is preventing him and Taesan from having a disastrous date with each other. Because yes, that would be a disaster, because Sungho treats Taesan like a child and because Taesan doesn't have a crush on Sungho. 

Taesan has a crush on Leehan.

Once again Taesan pulled out a pillow and hit himself. Why does it seem like he keeps repeating that he has a crush on Leehan? If anyone, especially Jaehyun, saw him now, they would think that Taesan keeps repeating things to convince himself it's true.

But it's true. Taesan is just nervous about everything that happened.

He didn't text Leehan, it was already past midnight and some people usually go to bed early. He also preferred to wait until the morning to answer Sungho's message... because it's better to answer in the morning and say he fell asleep than to have left the boy hanging for so long without a coherent explanation.

Taesan also doesn't want to and can't tell Sungho that, in fact, he left him hanging because he got lost in thoughts about Sungho himself.

Yes, he would sleep now and in the morning he'll be rested, thinking clearly and ready to move on with his life.

♡

Taesan didn't sleep well.

When the alarm clock rang, he was about to be rejected by Park Sungho in his dreams - or nightmares - for the fourth or fifth time, he's not sure, he just knows he was rejected several times.

Taesan didn't feel rested at all, his whole body hurt. He arrived at the university with his head throbbing.

When Jaehyun - poor Jaehyun who just wanted to help and had nothing to do with the situation - asked when he was going to go out with Leehan, Taesan freaked out. He showed both conversations to his friend.

“First of all, why haven’t you saved Leehan’s number yet and why have you saved Sungho’s number as ‘future boyfriend’?” Jaehyun frowned.

“Is this serious?” Taesan snorted a laugh “is that all you care about? I already told you I switched the numbers. When I saved Sungho’s contact, I thought I was saving Leehan’s contact, that’s why all this mess happened”

“Well… in my humble opinion, Park Sung made things easy for you by pretending he didn’t see your date invitation” Jaehyun shrugged.

And Jaehyun was right, but Taesan’s intrusive thoughts…

“But why did he reject me?” Taesan poked his cheek with his tongue.

“Kind of obvious, my friend” Jaehyun shrugged again “because he’s not into you”

“I already knew that” Taesan huffed out a humorless laugh.

“Yes, you said yourself that you already knew you wouldn’t have a chance with him, so it wasn’t news. And you don’t even want to have a chance with him, because you don’t like him… your words” Jaehyun crossed his arms in front of his chest and narrowed his eyes “but why does it seem like it matters to you so much?”

“It doesn’t matter to me” Taesan rolled his eyes and huffed out another laugh.

“Great, then do the same as he did, just pretend the invitation never happened and move on with your life” Jaehyun squeezed his friend’s shoulder “you can go after Leehan now”

“Hey”

As if he had been summoned by Han Taesan’s intrusive thoughts, there was Park Sungho, smiling cutely as he walked past them nonchalantly, as if he hadn’t turned Taesan’s brain inside out less than twelve hours ago.

“Hi, Sungho hyung” Jaehyun greeted smiling.

Jaehyun was right, Sungho is making it a lot easier for Taesan. The fact that he ignores Taesan's invitation is a great opportunity for them to just pretend like nothing happened, no one needs to leave this mess feeling embarrassed or anything.

But then why is Taesan's stomach in knots and his heart beating like crazy, skipping beats and screaming Sungho's name in Taesan's ears?

“Park Sungho” Taesan called him without even realizing what he was doing.

"Hey?" Sungho stopped in surprise and turned to Taesan.

Sungho was already a few steps away from Taesan and when the younger boy started to approach, Sungho took off his sunglasses and placed them on top of his head, like a bow holding part of his hair back. His eyes were wide and he looked confused. Taesan wanted to pinch his cute cheeks.

“Why did you ignore me?” Taesan crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“What?” Sungho started laughing “I answered you. You were the one who disappeared in the middle of the conversation. Did you sleep? You looked sleepy…” he pouted.

“Yeah, I did.” Taesan felt his neck starting to get hot.

“You fell asleep without even telling me when your mother needed me.”

“Yeah, I slept” Taesan felt his neck starting to get hot “why do you say I looked sleepy?”

“Ah, because yes” Sungho shrugged “and you slept without even telling me when your mom needs me”

Why the hell does Park Sungho have to talk like that? How is it possible for a person to talk while pouting all the time?

“This isn’t about my mom”

“Oh, no?” Sungho’s eyes widened “so she doesn’t need me to take care of Woonhagibaby?”

“No” Taesan shrugged. 

"No?" Sungho frowned. 

“I mean, yes, she does” Taesan scratched the back of his head feeling clumsy and silly “but this is not important right now”

“So can you tell me what's important now?” Sungho tilted his head to the side, still confused.

“I asked you out” Taesan poked his cheek with his tongue “a date”

“Oh” Sungho opened his mouth in an ‘O’, but didn’t say anything, he just stared at Taesan for a moment, his cheeks were painted pink and he looked away.

Taesan narrowed his eyes, was Park Sungho blushing?

“Is that a no?” Taesan doesn't know why, after all he doesn't even have a crush on Park Sungho, but his heart hurts a little.

“I…” Sungho took a deep breath, puffed out his cheeks, and let it out slowly “I just thought you were joking, maybe sleepy or something” he shrugged “so I didn’t answer”

Oh… that doesn’t sound like a rejection.

“So you want to go out with me?” Taesan felt a little too excited for someone who definitely doesn’t want to go out with Park Sungho.

“I…” Sungho took a deep breath, puffed out his cheeks, and let it out slowly “I just thought you were joking, maybe sleepy or something” he shrugged “so I didn’t answer”

Oh… that doesn’t sound like a rejection.

“So, do you want to go on a date with me?” Taesan felt a little too excited for someone who definitely doesn't want to date Park Sungho.

“Are you going to dump me again?” Taesan tried not to smile, when Park Sungho lowered his face and gave a cute little laugh.

“Okay” Sungho looked at Taesan, shrugged and smiled.

“You accepted?” Taesan’s eyes widened.

“Dongmin” Sungho whimpered and pouted “should I accept it or not?”

Okay, even though Taesan doesn’t have any interest in Park Sungho, he can’t deny that the boy is simply the cutest thing in the world. He was blushing and pouting cutely.

“You can refuse, if you don't want to go” Taesan shrugged, trying to appear indifferent.

“But I just accepted because I wanted to” Sungho whined again.

“Then we have a date” Taesan smiled and when Sungho smiled back, he felt weak in the knees. Obviously because he had been standing for so long, it had nothing to do with the boy in front of him. His heart skipping a beat also had nothing to do with Sungho.

“We have a date” Sungho bit his lower lip and shook his head “good class, then” Sungho smiled, turned his back on Taesan and walked away.

“So, it seems like you would have a chance with Park Sungho, if you wanted to… a shame you don’t want to” Jaehyun sighed, pretending to be sad.

“What just happened?” Taesan was still staring at Sungho’s back, getting further and further away “what did I do?”

“You have a date with Park Sungho” Jaehyun shrugged.

“Damn” Taesan swallowed hard, now noticing his burning ears, his hot body and his racing heart.

“Can I know what’s going on in your head?” Jaehyun finally laughed.

“When I find out, I’ll tell you”

The truth is that Taesan doesn't have the slightest idea what he was thinking when he simply went after Park Sungho. It was as if something had taken possession of his body and taken over his mind, all he wanted was to know why he didn't get a 'yes' from Sungho and how he could get it.

Strange, but he knew he was willing to put in the effort to get that ‘yes’.

Part of him knew he should feel bad for creating and feeding this whole mess, it was that part of him that was worried, wondering if it was just his ego not accepting being dumped. That would be really bad.

But he was feeling strangely good, deep down, he knew it wasn't his ego that felt fed when a cute and shy Sungho with blushing cheeks said he wanted to go out with him. Was it a genuine feeling of... peace? Was he... happy?

He was just having a little trouble accepting it.

Another part of him, the part that completely believed that he would never have a chance with Park Sungho, knew that he needed to be literally rejected soon so that he could move on… move on from what? It's not like he was in love with Park Sungho or anything… of course not, he just had this thing that being a child in Sungho's eyes was something that bothered him a lot.

Is he going on a date with Park Sungho out of ego? No, Taesan has never acted out of ego, he has never imagined himself dealing badly with rejection, it happens to everyone and he is not irresistible. And when he thought about asking Kim Leehan out, he was very aware that he might get rejected. Taesan knows that no one is obligated to accept an invitation from him.

Is he going on a date with Park Sungho to prove that he's not a child? First of all, why on earth does he care so much that Sungho sees him as a child? Why does he need to prove something to Sungho? And why is he putting so much effort in this?

Is he going on a date with Park Sungho because that's what he wants? Why on earth would he want to date Park Sungho? He doesn't even have a crush on Park Sungho.

At the end of the day, Taesan was a giant mess of confusing thoughts, feelings and sensations that mixed together and left him completely dizzy. Taesan doesn't know what he feels or what he wants, he just knows that thinking about it makes his head throb even more and he wonders if he is finally giving in to madness.

Then Taesan saw Park Sungho - distracted and cute, crossing a street still inside the campus, heading towards the library, probably - and it was as if a strange peace took over his entire being.

“Sungho” and once again, it was as if Taesan completely lost his ability to think and plan his actions. He was all instinct and spontaneity.

The older boy stopped, then looked at him over his shoulder. Eyes wide and lips open in an ‘O’, completely surprised and a little confused.

His heart skipped a beat and, for a moment, Taesan almost thought he might be having a labyrinthitis attack, he was dizzy and weak in the knees. All of this from receiving a cute smile from Park Sungho, while the sunset did an amazing job of painting Sungho's peach skin gold.

Taesan swallowed hard.

“Dongmin” Sungho turned completely towards Taesan and smiled even wider. The sun was setting beautifully, but it was a little cold and now Sungho was wearing a fluffy cardigan and he looked so soft and huggable.

“Are you going home already?” Taesan approached the older boy. This interest was nothing special, they were neighbors, after all, and they were going to the same place.

“I need to stop by the library before I leave” Sungho pouted.

“Okay” Taesan shrugged and simply started following the older boy.

That's when Taesan realized what he was doing and stopped. He swallowed hard, he wanted to go with Sungho, obviously, but he didn't want to be inconvenient.

"Can I go with you?" Taesan scratched the back of his head, feeling so clumsy.

“You can” Sungho bit his bottom lip.

Taesan sighed in relief and smiled. Yes, he was giving in to madness.

The library was a few blocks away from the buildings where they had classes today, and, along the way, they talked about everything and nothing, the conversation between them was just easy. 

And every time Sungho laughed, Taesan found himself thinking about how handsome he was and admiring all his delicate features. Park Sungho is breathtaking… and it has nothing to do with the sunset, it’s just about Sungho’s beauty himself.

Taesan furrowed his eyebrows and narrowed his eyes, he couldn't believe what he was seeing. The annoying and grumpy librarian was smiling at Sungho like Taesan had never seen her smile before. But her eyes landed on Taesan and she immediately stopped smiling and rolled her eyes.

And she didn't hide her surprise when she realized they were together.

On the subway, they stood side by side, both with their backs against the wall. Taesan kept peeking at Sungho from the corner of his eye. The shorter boy had his chin resting on the books he was hugging to his chest.

Taesan found himself thinking again about how cute Park Sungho is.

He didn't realize he was smiling, probably like an idiot, until the older boy turned to face him. Eyes wide and cheeks flushed, he pressed his lips together for a moment and then he smiled before looking away again.

Taesan's heart skipped a beat and he felt his ears catch fire.

Taesan understands that he is really completely screwed.

They couldn't talk much, the subway was too noisy. Park Sungho was still staring at a random spot on the floor, but Taesan could see that he was still smiling. Taesan shook his head and laughed together with Sungho.

What the hell is happening to him?

What the hell is happening to Sungho?

What the hell is happening to them?

And how did he get into this situation?

One moment he was planning to ask Kim Leehan out on a date, the next moment he was asking Park Sungho out, then fate - and Park Sungho - gave him an opportunity to ignore it, move on with his life, go back to the original plan, and not get involved in a big mess.

Taesan chose the mess, he threw himself into the mess, he dove into the depths of the mess and he was drowning deeper and deeper and on purpose.

Was all of this really happening just because he wanted to know if Sungho was rejecting him because he saw him as a child? If that was all, then why was he on the subway with Park Sungho, smiling like an idiot and feeling his hand tingle with the desire to hold his hand?

Yes, Taesan wanted to hold Park Sungho's hand, and not just for academic purposes, he definitely didn't want to just test whether Park Sungho would hold his hand back. Although he really wanted Sungho to do it.

But he was content with just keeping his shoulder next to Sungho's shoulder.

The silence is comfortable, strangely they don't need to talk all the time to enjoy each other's company. Taesan likes having Park Sungho by his side, that's enough.

And that's when Taesan realized that he feels a kind of restlessness every time he doesn't know where the older boy is, his eyes are always searching for Sungho, wherever he is.

Damn, Taesan is crazy...

They walked together talking about anything and Taesan thought the distance from the subway station to his house had never seemed so small. And when they arrived at Sungho's sidewalk, the words simply bubbled in Taesan's chest and came out without him thinking much about it.

“Will you wait for me tomorrow?”

“Hmm?” Sungho looked up from the key in his hand to look at Taesan’s face.

Lovely Park Sungho, his eyes wide and he looked so confused. The beautiful boy is not at all to blame for Taesan's sudden change and, if not even Taesan himself knew what was happening, Taesan can't even imagine how Sungho is feeling.

Taesan wanted to laugh, bit his bottom lip to stop himself, he had already smiled many times that day.

“So we can go to class together” Taesan felt so clumsy, he didn’t even know what to do with his hands “I thought I’d stop by your house so we could go together, if you want”

“I'll wait for you” Sungho smiled until his eyes closed almost completely.

“Can I do this every day?” Taesan scratched the back of his neck.

“You can” Sungho giggled cutely “do you want to come in?” Sungho pointed to his house.

“Unfortunately I have to wait for Jaehyun” Taesan rolled his eyes “he’s going to bring the drums and set them up in the garage”

“Oh, is the band going well?” Sungho gave a cute little jump, genuinely excited, he knew how much Taesan had always wanted to play in a band and was happy that he had finally found a good team.

“Yeah, I guess” Taesan shrugged “we have a performance at the end of the month”

“I’ll be there, for sure” Sungho smiled once more until he almost completely closed his eyes.

Taesan watched the boy smiling cutely and swallowed hard, feeling something warm run through his body, he was sure his ears were red now.

After years, Taesan and Jaehyun finally managed to put together a decent band that seemed to be working. In five months of being a band, they have already performed three times. And Park Sungho was in all of them. Thinking about it, it's amazing how Sungho is in so many of Taesan's memories. 

He wondered if it was normal to want to hug someone as much as he wanted to hug Sungho right now. He didn't hug him, unfortunately, Taesan just smiled as they said goodbye. 

And Taesan stood there, in front of Sungho's house, watching the boy smile once more and finally enter the house. It was only after the door was closed that Taesan crossed the street and entered his own house. 

"You were with my Sungho hyung"

The pest, also known as Han Woonhak, was waiting for Taesan, right in front of the door, to attack him as soon as he entered. 

And if the big plan was to scare his brother, well, it was very successful. Taesan was so lost in his thoughts that he was startled. He jumped back, slammed his back against the door and looked at his younger brother with wide eyes.

“Damn, brat. Do you want to kill me?” Taesan put his hand to his chest.

“Why were you with my Sungho hyung?” Woonhak crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“I don’t know if you know, genius, we study at the same university, we take the same route home” Taesan shrugged, exchanged his sneakers for flip-flops trying to ignore his brother’s gaze, almost burning a hole in his head.

“It's been a month and you don't usually come home together” Woonhak narrowed his eyes.

“Are you spying on me?” Taesan crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“Of course not, I don’t care what you do” he shrugged “I just don’t like knowing that my Sungho hyung is walking around alone” Woonhak whined “he’s small”

“I won’t let your hyung walk around alone” Taesan smiled.

Yes, Sungho is broad-shouldered and tall, but next to Taesan, even next to Woonhak, Sungho looks so small. And even though he knows that Sungho can take care of himself very well, Taesan still wants to take care of him.

“Oh no, not you!” Woonhak whined louder “I prefer him to walk alone”

“Too bad for you” Taesan snorted a laugh.

“Better you than nothing” Woonhak sighed and shrugged.

“I’m flattered” Taesan’s eyes widened.

“I think it’s good that you take good care of him”

“I will” Taesan wanted to laugh at how serious he sounded and almost wanted to panic at how serious he actually felt about this.

“But not too much!” Woonhak's eyes widened "don't even think about doing something and keep your hands off him, he's my hyung"

“What is happening here?” Taesan and Woonhak’s mother approached her children “are you fighting?”

“Mommy” Woonhak whined and pointed at Taesan “Taesan hyung wants to steal my Sungho hyung”

“What does that mean?” Their mother’s eyes widened.

“Nothing” Taesan shrugged, feeling his face grow hot when he saw a strange glint in his mother’s eyes. He walked past his mother and brother, heading for the stairs as quickly as he could.

“Han Taesan, come here right now” His mother frowned.

“I have a lot of things to do before Jaehyun arrives and we start start setting up the drums in the garage…” Taesan shrugged.

“Like what?” Woonhak rolled his eyes.

Then Taesan’s eyes fell on his brother, that smug brat, and before he could think better of it, he was already doing it. Taesan put a hand to his chin in a pretend thought.

“I don’t know, but one of those things is texting Park Sungho” Taesan poked his tongue at his cheek and smiled innocently.

“Han Taesan” his mother whined “haven’t you talked to him yet? I need him on saturday to take care of Woonhak”

“He talked to my hyung, mommy, I saw him texting yesterday” Woonhak narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms in front of his chest “why are you texting my hyung again today?”

“That’s not your problem” Taesan shrugged, still smiling.

“You’re going to flirt with my hyung” Woonhak whined.

“You’re going to do what?” Their mother widened her eyes, looked from Woonhak to Taesan “Taesan, I beg you, don’t bother Park Sungho”

"What?" Taesan snorted a laugh, feeling almost offended.

“You know what, flirt with him” Woonhak shrugged “you know he’s going to dump you, right?! My Sungho hyung would never date an idiot like you”

Hearing such words made Taesan smile genuinely, then he laughed.

Ah, if only Woonhak knew that he himself had been thinking that way until yesterday. In fact, until early that morning, Taesan still thought this way and was waiting for Park Sungho to dump him if he tried something.

Now, however, he literally had Park Sungho ‘accepting’ him.

“What are you laughing at, idiot?” Woonhak narrowed his eyes.

“Han Woonhak, don’t talk to your brother like that” their mother slapped Woonhak’s arm “wait a moment, did you say ‘date’?” And there was the strange glow, but Taesan just ignored it.

And Taesan was still laughing a lot because, contrary to probably everyone's expectations, including his own, he was really going to go out on a date with Park Sungho.

"Weird" Woonhak made a face at his brother.

Still laughing, Taesan went to his bedroom.

After taking a shower, while waiting for Jaehyun, Taesan threw himself on the bed, pulled out his phone and opened the chat with Sungho.

Strange how, suddenly, this is so easy.

‘Taesan: I was thinking about that cat cafe, you look so happy there’

‘Future boyfriend: You look happy there too’

‘Taesan: We can go tomorrow, after class, what do you think?’

‘Future boyfriend: I think it’s a great idea ’

Okay, now Taesan literally has a date with Sungho.

And Taesan couldn't help but smile stupidly, as he felt his face hot, his heart racing and something was definitely moving in his stomach.

Is this nervousness? He shouldn't be so nervous, he's been out with Sungho so many times.

Come to think of it, this is true, Taesan has been on many 'dates' with Park Sungho, they used to ask each other out all the time, that was before Taesan freaked out and pushed Sungho away.

And honestly, he truly regrets being so stupid.

He frowned, damn, he needs to stop being such an idiot, he could start by apologizing, because he never apologized for being rude to Sungho.

Yes, he should apologize as soon as possible, even if his explanation is so silly.

He can't believe how lucky he is, after all Sungho agreed to go on a date with Taesan, even though Taesan was so stupid towards him.

That's when something else, another thought, invaded Taesan's mind. And it hit him like a bolt of lightning, right on top of his head. If Park Sungho agreed to go on a date with Taesan, that means that Sungho doesn't see him as a child, right?! But beyond that, could this mean that Park Sungho likes Taesan? Likes him in a romantic sense?

Taesan sat up in bed, trying to organize his thoughts. I was a little dizzy and very ready to run out and knock on the door of Sungho's house.

And what does all of this change in Taesan’s life?

Everything, obviously.

Not that he has romantic feelings for Park Sungho...

Taesan laughed loudly. Who is he trying to fool? Even he doesn’t believe it anymore. Maybe he has some romantic feelings for Park Sungho… maybe he has a lot of romantic feelings for Park Sungho. He doesn’t have a crush on Park Sungho, he definitely has a whole cliff for him.

Now he's looking forward to seeing Sungho, he needs to find out if Sungho likes him too. Without thinking much, Taesan was already going down the stairs, so he was putting on his sneakers. And when he opened the door, he found Jaehyun about to knock.

Frustrated, Taesan slumped his shoulders and spent the next four hours with his best friend, setting up a drum set in his garage, eating hamburgers and talking about Park Sungho.

“Man, you fell so deep for Park Sungho that not even a crane can get you out of this hole” Jaehyun’s eyes widened.

“I think so” Taesan took a bite of his burger and shrugged.

“You think so?” Jaehyun laughed “Taesan, this isn't even news, you're just a little too stupid to realize it or, I don't know, you have a block because of that thing of thinking that he treats you like a child”

“I still kind of think about that thing” Taesan shrugged, feeling like a fool.

“Well, you can stop thinking about it. And I'll tell you more, he likes you” Jaehyun narrowed his eyes “and this thing that you think is him treating you like a child, is just him trying to show that he likes you”

Sometimes, almost never, Jaehyun seems so wise. Not that Taesan fully believes him, but when someone else speaks - other than the voices that live in Taesan's head and are extremely pessimistic - Taesan kind of feels refreshed and even allows himself to hope and think positive.

After talking to Jaehyun, Taesan couldn't stop smiling.

He hopes Jaehyun is right, and frankly, being completely honest with his feelings for the first time in his life, Taesan knows he can get used to Sungho taking care of him and being extremely clingy, if the reason for it is because he likes Taesan, the same way Taesan likes him.

♡

Never has a class taken so long to finish.

Taesan really enjoys studying music, he is very happy at university, but he has a date with Park Sungho as soon as his class ends, so no one can blame him for being so eager for his class to end.

And as soon as his class ended, he ran to the architecture building. He arrived minutes before Sungho left the building. The moment his eyes met Taesan, Sungho smiled, said goodbye to Riwoo and ran to Taesan.

“Did I take too long?” Sungho pouted cutely.

“I just arrived” Taesan smiled and, in a burst of great courage, placed a strand of Sungho's soft hair behind his ear.

The older boy cringed, blushing and cute, and gave an lovely little giggle, and Taesan could see that he got goosebumps. Damn, this is so cute that Taesan wants to wrap him in a big hug and never let go.

But Taesan just sighed and bit his bottom lip, after all, he couldn't just hug Sungho. He couldn't for now, but he hoped he could soon.

Going out on a date with Sungho was both the same and different from every other time they had gone out together. 

They played with all the cats in the cafe, ate cake and took more photos than they could count. 

They were having a lot of fun and, unlike every other time they were there, Taesan was fully aware of his feelings and allowed himself to smile stupidly at Sungho, look at him without disguising it or looking away whenever Sungho looked back at him.

He really fell very deep for Park Sungho, Jaehyun is absolutely right. And he really wants to believe that it’s reciprocated, especially because he has no idea how to tell Sungho that he likes him.

Maybe he should make his intentions clear, so without thinking too much, Taesan took a cute picture of Sungho with a cat on his lap and posted it on his Instagram with the caption ‘♡’.

Well, he couldn’t be more obvious… and he hopes Sungho understands.

A little later, when the sky was already dark and dotted with all those bright stars, they were already on the way to their homes. Sungho seemed to be cold and when Taesan said he would take off his jacket for him to wear, Sungho stopped him.

“You don’t need to” Sungho gently held Taesan’s wrist.

“Yes, I do, you’re cold” Taesan furrowed his eyebrows.

“Can you just…” Sungho was blushing and biting his bottom lip. Boldly, he held Taesan's hand and placed the younger boy's arm around his shoulders "...hug me"

“Of course” Taesan felt his heart skip a beat as he hugged Sungho’s shoulders, it’s even cuter the fact that Sungho didn’t let go of his hand “are you okay now?” Taesan smiled stupidly, feeling the smell of Sungho's hair dancing in his nose.

“I'm great” Sungho smiled and they started walking again “thank you” Sungho still held Taesan's hand on his shoulder.

“I’m at your disposal” Taesan shrugged and they both laughed.

They were talking about the cakes they shared, giving each one a rating as they walked as slowly as they could, they didn't want to separate yet.

Unfortunately, much faster than they would have liked, they were already in front of Sungho's house. And, even more unfortunately, they had to separate while Sungho searched for his keys inside his bag.

"Dongmin, can you tell your mom that I'm free tomorrow?" Sungho pouted cutely, trying not to laugh.

"What?" Taesan frowned.

“My mom told me that your mom said she needed me tomorrow to babysit Woonhak” Sungho laughed “I think you forgot that part”

“I kind of didn’t forget, not completely” Taesan shrugged and smiled when Sungho tilted his head to the side in that cute way “turns out, Woonhak isn’t at the top of my priority list”

“Poor Woonhagibaby” Sungho laughed and covered his mouth with his hand “if your house is on fire, you will save your guitar, your skateboard, your comics and only then will you think about saving your brother”

Taesan threw his head back, laughing loudly.

“But I would check on you first of all, even though you are in your house, on the other side of the street and completely free from the flames” Taesan felt his ears burning and wanted to bite his tongue. It’s impressive how his tongue disconnects from his brain in front of Park Sungho.

“Oh, really?” Sungho bit his bottom lip trying not to laugh, narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“Don’t look so surprised” Taesan poked Sungho’s waist, making the boy flinch and laugh ticklishly “that time, when smoke started coming out of my amplifier, I took you out of my room and left the guitar inside”

“True” Sungho’s eyes widened “I’m glad your room didn’t catch fire”

“And there was that time we fell into the lake with my skateboard” Taesan sighed “I caught you. My skateboard was left there for the fish…”

“It was a terrible idea” Sungho laughed “we should have known it wouldn’t work, both of us on your skateboard, at the same time”

“It would have worked, if you didn’t keep moving and laughing” Taesan poked Sungho’s waist again and laughed when he whimpered.

“It’s not my fault that I’m ticklish” Sungho pouted.

“Actually, that's cute” Taesan laughed and poked Sungho's waist once again.

“Han Dongmin” he whimpered.

“Cute” Taesan smiled and squeezed Sungho's cheek.

“You know, I’m older than you, I should take care of you, but why does it feel like you’re the one who always takes care of me?” Sungho’s cheeks were flushed, he was suddenly very focused on the keys in his hands.

Something filled Taesan's chest and he didn't know what to name it. But it felt good, really good. Is Park Sungho saying that he feels cared for by him? 

He could kiss Sungho at this very moment. And only the stars know how much he wants to do this. Taesan touched the older boy's chin, gently lifting it so that they could look into each other's eyes. 

Taesan loves how Sungho's eyes are full of stars.

“I think we take care of each other” Taesan shrugged and smiled, running his thumb affectionately over the boy's chin.

“Yeah… I think that’s right” Sungho swallowed and smiled.

It was one of those Park Sungho smiles that made Taesan’s knees weak. It was easy to get lost in Sungho’s sweet, sparkling eyes, and Taesan had never felt as mesmerized as he did now.

Completely mesmerized by Sungho’s starry eyes.

“I guess we take care of each other” Taesan shrugged and smiled, gently running his thumb over the boy’s chin.

“Yeah… I guess that’s right” Sungho swallowed hard and smiled.

One of those Park Sungho smiles that makes Taesan's knees weak. It's easy to get lost in Sungho's sweet and sparkling eyes, and Taesan has never felt as mesmerized as he was feeling right now.

Completely mesmerized by Sungho’s starry eyes.

“You know, Woonhak is finally going to be good for something” Taesan spoke softly and laughed when Sungho furrowed his eyebrows in confusion “because at least you’ll be at my house tomorrow. You’ll be with me”

“Dongmin, what happened to you?” A completely blushing Sungho widened his eyes and then started laughing.

“I don’t know” Taesan shrugged, his ears feeling hotter than ever “I feel like I lost control of myself after I asked you out on a date”

“Is that good?” Sungho bit his bottom lip.

“You tell me” Taesan took a step closer to Sungho.

“I think it’s good” Sungho shrugged and smiled.

Amazing how the size difference between them has never felt so perfect, the angle was perfect for kissing and Taesan is sure their kiss would fit perfectly.

Taesan's free hand finally reached Park Sungho's tiny waist, at the same time that one of Sungho's hands gently held Taesan's shoulder.

Now it was Sungho who took a step towards Taesan, his eyes dropping from his eyes to Taesan’s lips.

Taesan felt like he might have a heart attack at that very moment…

“You have finally arrived”

It was Woonhak crossing the street and shouting, not just for Sungho and Taesan to hear, but for all the neighbors to hear as well.

Sungho and Taesan moved away by reflex, after they got a big scare, Woonhak brought them back to reality and now it's like their hearts are about to come out of their throats. Damn, it was as if they were inside a bubble of their own, completely forgetting everything, including the fact that they were in the middle of the sidewalk.

Breathing heavily and a little dizzy, Sungho and Taesan looked at each other with the understanding that yes, they were about to kiss. They were in front of their houses with Woonhak at home, meaning it was bound to go wrong.

Taesan huffed in frustration and Sungho laughed nervously.

“Woonhagibaby” Sungho smiled as Taesan’s little brother hugged him.

“What are you doing here, pest?” Taesan rolled his eyes.

“I’m asking you” Woonhak narrowed his eyes “what are you doing here?”

“It doesn’t matter to you” Taesan pinched Woonhak’s arm and laughed when the boy whined rubbing his pinched arm.

“Dongmin, don’t hurt your brother” Sungho whimpered.

“He’s so mean to me, Sungho hyung” Woonhak pouted.

“Go home, Woonhak” Taesan rolled his eyes.

“Can I see Apple Pie?” Completely ignoring Taesan, Woonhak clasped his hands in front of his face, begging.

“Of course not” Taesan frowned.

“Of course yes” Sungho smiled, opening the gate “the three-story scratcher has arrived and Apple Pie has a new bed”

“Oh, that’s so cute” Woonhak smiled “he must be so happy”

“I'm going to see the scratcher too” Taesan grumbled and shrugged.

“Okay” Sungho bit his lip trying not to laugh and wrapped his little finger around Taesan’s little finger.

That was enough for Taesan to smile stupidly.

He squeezed Sungho’s finger around his own. That’s it, any proximity to Sungho is enough to make Taesan happy, but at the same time it’s not and he wants more.

The three boys entered the house and went upstairs to Sungho's bedroom. Taesan noticed that a few things were different - for example, there was a new fluffy blanket, navy blue and covered in stars aligned in their constellations. Taesan laughed, that's perfect for Sungho - but overall, Sungho's bedroom hadn't changed much. Especially his perfume, it's still the same and it's filling the entire room.

“Here he can sunbathe all day long” Sungho smiled, pointing towards the balcony doors, where the large scratching post was located, three floors with a little house and a soft bed.

“Hi, Apple Pie” Woonhak smiled at the cat who came out of one of the little houses, stretching, still a little sleepy.

Taesan sat on the soft carpet next to Sungho, while Woonhak played with the cat, using the cute little toys. Sungho's cat is really spoiled, full of toys and cute things, it makes Taesan think about how much he would like to spoil Sungho, not like a cat, obviously, even though Sungho looks like one.

As always, Sungho's mother was as kind and sweet as Sungho. And it didn't take much for her to convince Taesan and Woonhak to stay for dinner.

Dinner where Woonhak did what he did best: embarrassed his brother.

“Taesan hyung is so stupid”

“Taesan hyung can’t cook, he doesn’t even know how to use the microwave to defrost ready-made food”

“Taesan hyung is so weak, he can’t drink black coffee, he needs milk”

“Taesan hyung is tall, but I’m taller than him and I’m only sixteen, I’ll be much taller when I’m nineteen”

“Taesan hyung would easily trade me for his guitar”

“Taesan hyung can’t take care of me because he doesn’t even know how to take care of himself”

Taesan rolled his eyes so much that if he looked a little further, he would be able to look into his brain, inside his head. He poked his cheek with his tongue, but didn't respond or retort to Woonhak, in fact, he just smiled and shrugged while Sungho's parents seemed to think Woonhak was the most adorable thing that ever existed in the world.

Nonsense, Taesan respectfully disagrees, because Park Sungho is the most adorable thing in the universe.

And when he got home, Taesan wasn't going to fight Woonhak or hit his huge head either. No, just because while Woonhak had the attention of Sungho's parents, Taesan had the attention of Sungho himself, who was smiling sweetly at him and holding his hand under the table.

Dinner was excellent.

♡

Saturday took 72 hours to pass and Taesan's parents' dinner time seemed to never come, as did the time Sungho would arrive at his house.

Taesan didn't want to be a desperate, anxious, and much less possessive boyfriend, so he didn't send messages to Sungho asking if he was coming to his house yet, or if he wanted to come before the time agreed with his mother, or if he wanted Taesan to pick him up. He would pick him up, anyway.

Boyfriend? Taesan bit his tongue, felt his face, neck, ears and everything else getting hot, so he pulled the hood over his head, in an attempt to cover all that silly blush.

Hell, he hasn't even kissed Park Sungho yet, he hasn't even planned how he's going to ask Sungho to be his boyfriend, but he just already feels like he's in that position. And he's very lucky, because Park Sungho seems to feel the same way.

He truly hopes so.

And he also didn't change the older boy's contact nickname and Sungho is still 'future boyfriend' in his phone. Taesan frowned and bit his bottom lip trying not to smile, he practically prophesied this.

It was as if Taesan unconsciously knew what was happening and what he needed to do, because deep down he knew very well about his feelings about Park Sungho, he just didn't accept them.

But, thinking about it, Taesan gave this nickname to the contact thinking he was talking to the fish boy… what is his name again? Taesan narrowed his eyes… oh yeah, Kim Leehan. So even though ‘future boyfriend’ fits Park Sungho really well, and that gorgeous photo of him smiling in the sun, Taesan felt like he needed to change it.

With Sungho’s contact open, Taesan felt like a fool for almost shaking, all shy, while typing ‘baby boo, my sweetie, darling’. He laughed even more foolishly, because yes, he had come up with a contact nickname that suited Sungho much better.

He looked at his watch and smiled broadly. Finally, there were only fifteen minutes left until the time his mother had agreed with Sungho.

“Where are you going?” Taesan's mother was changing her earrings in front of the mirror on the sideboard near the door, when her son quickly walked past her towards the door.

“I’m going to get Sungho” Taesan put on his sneakers.

“What?” Taesan’s mother frowned.

“I told you that this crazy guy is stalking my hyung,” Woonhak whined.

Taesan rolled his eyes and left, leaving his mother and brother talking about anything. He was almost at Sungho’s sidewalk when the boy came out of the gate. He widened his eyes looking at Taesan.

“Am I late?”

“No, I just wanted to come” Taesan shrugged. It was a little cold, so he approached Sungho and pulled his hood over his head “it’s cold”

“Thank you” Sungho’s cheeks were flushed again and he bit his lower lip.

“Sungho hyung” Woonhak ran to them, as soon as Taesan opened the door and grabbed Sungho's arm “I need to show you something, I finally managed to pass that level of the game we've been stuck in for a long time”

“I can’t believe it” Sungho widened his eyes and jumped excitedly and cutely, he put on his cat slippers that he had already left at Taesan’s house and was dragged by Woonhak to the living room.

Taesan rolled his eyes at Woonhak and then saw his mother already looking at him, arms crossed in front of her chest, eyes narrowed and a small conspiratorial smile.

“Finally, huh, Taesan” there was the strange glint in her eyes.

Taesan slumped his shoulders and let out a heavy breath.

“Dad, mom is ready, you’re going to be late” Taesan shouted at the foot of the stairs.

“You two look so cute together” your mom squeezed your cheek.

“Yeah” Taesan rolled his eyes, his cheeks were on fire.

“He’s so cute” she said excitedly.

“Yeah, I know he is” Taesan pinched the bridge of his nose and followed his mother into the living room.

“Sungho, my precious” Taesan’s mother smiled, squeezing Sungho’s cheek “anything happens, you can call me”

“It’s going to be okay” Sungho smiled cutely.

“Woonhak, for the love of God, my son, don’t disturb your hyungs” she begged, “remember what we just talked about”

“Oh, I will disturb Taesan, yes” Woonhak laughed loudly, not taking his eyes off the television screen.

One important thing about Han Woonhak is that when he promises something, he does his best to fulfill it and he really disturbed Taesan’s peace all night long.

Every time Taesan approached Sungho, Woonhak appeared like magic. And when Sungho paid attention to Taesan, Woonhak would either bring up a silly topic or die in the game, only to pass the turn to Sungho. Woonhak never missed an opportunity to make a face and mock his older brother. 

Could Taesan turn his brother inside out? Yes, he could. But he was more interested in Park Sungho being adorable by his side, focused on the game and pouting.

And there's that super adorable thing about Park Sungho, he talks with a pout. All the time, he always talks with a pout and for the longest time, Teasan tried to ignore it, but now, he can just look at it and find his almost-boyfriend absurdly cute because of it. And his eyes flicked to Sungho's lips more times than he could count. And he smiled like a fool every single time.

Obviously, at some point Woonhak decided to sit in the middle of Sungho and Taesan. That could only be a test, Taesan counted to 100 so as not to strangle his brother.

They had pizza for dinner and returned to the couch with ice cream and another game that was part of Woonhak's evil plan to capture Sungho's attention. Taesan was almost giving up when Sungho sat down next to him, without any space between them.

Taesan's arm, which was over the back of the couch, automatically fell to Sungho's shoulders and he smiled when the older boy snuggled closer into his hug. Boldly, Taesan turned his face and kissed Sungho's forehead, who, even bolder, turned his face and kissed Taesan's cheek. The two laughed foolishly.

The lights were off, the only illumination came from the television screen, but even with the dim lighting, Taesan could see Sungho's cheeks, cute and naturally dyed pink. He really likes that view.

Fireworks exploded in Taesan's chest and he smiled foolishly, hugging Sungho a little tighter and holding the boy even closer, even though he was a little afraid that Sungho could hear and feel Taesan's heart hammering in his chest. It’s all Sungho’s fault, anyway.

With his free hand, Taesan held the older boy's hand, his thumb making gentle circles on Sungho's wrist and Sungho snuggled deeper into his shoulder. That's when Taesan looked down and found Sungho already looking at him.

They don't have much idea of how long they were just looking at each other, but they were fully aware that they were very close to each other. Their faces were so close that their lips could easily meet.

Sungho closed his eyes and Taesan smiled, bringing his face closer slowly. Their noses gently touched…

“Sungho hyung, I got the chocolate you like”

It's obvious that the only difficulty in kissing Park Sungho, Taesan's biggest obstacle, was right there next to them and went by the name of Han Woonhak, the pest.

Taesan cursed under his breath. Sungho blushed, opened his eyes wide, and turned to Woonhak. Surprising Taesan, Sungho didn’t move away from his hug.

When it was Sungho's turn to play, he cuddled even closer to Taesan.

When it was Taesan's turn to play, he held the joystick keeping Sungho in his arms.

Sungho was giving instructions to Taesan, Woonhak whined that he and Sungho should be a team against Taesan, and when Sungho said that Taesan needed him because he didn't know how to play - which could sound like an insult, but Taesan knew it was an excuse for them to stick together - it was Taesan's turn to stick out his tongue and make a face at Woonhak.

And at the end of the night, when Taesan and Woonhak's parents arrived, Taesan took Sungho home, he always did that. Even though Sungho only needed to cross the street to be home, Taesan didn't like him doing it alone.

However, this time, Woonhak decided to go with them, of course he did. Hugging his Sungho hyung and looking at Taesan as if he was challenging him.

It was almost impossible for Taesan to shake off his mother's questions about Park Sungho and Woonhak's detailed narration of the night and whining. Taesan just crossed his arms and stared at his mother, until she gave up and let him go. 

Finally, already under the blankets, Taesan pulled out his phone.

‘Taesan: I’m one step away from losing my first-time offender by killing my brother’

‘Baby boo, my sweetie, darling: Poor Woonhagybaby, he doesn’t mean any harm’

‘Taesan: I’m sure he means any harm, because he’s evil incarnate’

‘Baby boo, my sweetie, darling: Dongmin, he’s your brother’

‘Taesan: Yeah, you can have pity on me’

‘Baby boo, my sweetie, darling: Don’t make this face’

‘Taesan: What face?’

‘Baby boo, my sweetie, darling: The frowning and pouting’

‘Taesan: I’m not doing this’

‘Baby boo, my sweetie, darling: You are’

‘Taesan: And you pout all the time when you talk’

‘Baby boo, my sweetie, darling: I don’t’

‘Taesan: You do. I like it, it’s cute’

‘Baby boo, my sweetie, darling: You’re a fool’

‘Taesan: Yes. Will you go on a date with me tomorrow?’

‘Baby boo, my sweetie, darling: I will’

♡

They planned a cute date.

First, they would go to the crafts fair, then they would go to some cute thrift stores that are close to the square where there is the best pastry shop in the city, where they challenged themselves to try sweets with flavors they had never tried before.

If everything worked out, at the end of the day, Taesan would finally be able to kiss Park Sungho's lips. Then he would ask if it was too early or if they were already dating. Taesan even wrote down a few words to say to Sungho's parents, because yes, he would formally ask his Sweetie to be his boyfriend. He wanted to show how serious he is about his intentions.

What was definitely not in Taesan's plans - nor in Sungho's plans - was for the pest, Han Woonhak, to go with them.

But, surprisingly, it wasn't chaos, a mess, or a premium experience from hell.

In fact, it was pretty fun.

They followed Taesan and Sungho's schedule, Woonhak didn't complain once, so they went to the arcade and had fried chicken for dinner. 

They returned home when night had already fallen and the sky was full of stars. Woonhak, miraculously, also didn't disturb Taesan when he noticed his hyungs walking around holding hands the whole time.

The brothers said goodbye to Sungho, waited for the smaller boy to enter the house and crossed the street.

As all good things come to an end, Woonhak followed his brother to his room.

“I think you really like him”

“Oh, you think so?” Taesan gave a thumbs-up, then rolled his eyes when Woonhak crossed his arms in front of his chest. “I really like him”

“And, as incredible as it may seem, I think he likes you” Woonhak frowned. 

“I hope so” Taesan slumped his shoulders. 

“It doesn’t make any sense” Woonhak sighed in frustration.

“Your problem”

“You should confess soon” Woonhak rolled his eyes “It’s pretty obvious you haven’t confessed yet. You want to hug each other, but you hesitate, you want to hold hands, but you don’t know how to do it…”

“We spent the whole day holding hands” Taesan frowned, he was feeling almost offended.

“But it took you ages to finally hold Sungho hyung’s hand” Woonhak rolled his eyes “you two were so clumsy and weird at first”

“Anything else?” Taesan sighed.

“And I'm sure you haven't kissed yet”

Taesan was expressionless, keeping his face completely neutral, but inside he was screaming.

“Woonhak, good night” he dragged his brother out of the room and closed the door.

“I’m just saying that you don’t have to be a coward” Woonhak shouted from the other side of the door. “I don’t think you’ll get beaten up or anything. As strange as it is, Sungho hyung seems to be waiting to be kissed by you.”

Yes, Taesan really hopes Woonhak is right.

He knows that Sungho wants to kiss him, Taesan is a very lucky guy indeed, but he needs to be a little braver.

♡

And it was when leaving class, late monday afternoon, that Taesan found out that something had happened to his pretty baby. 

He's pretty sure everything was fine earlier. 

The weekend was great, they texted until they fell asleep on Sunday, then they went to class together, met up at lunch… everything was fine.

However, now it wasn't anymore.

Taesan left class and walked to the architecture building. His heart skipped a beat when he saw his baby coming out, but soon his heart sank and hurt in his chest when he noticed that Sungho's cute little nose was red and his beautiful shoulders were slumped.

When he got close to Taesan, Sungho hugged his own body and looked so small, Sungho was wearing a cute and oversized sweater, his hands were hidden inside the sleeves. Taesan wanted to hug Sungho really tight and swear to him that he would protect him from all the evil in the world.

“What happened to you?” Taesan frowned, genuinely worried. 

In all these years, he could count how many times he saw Sungho sad, but he knew him very well, in enough detail to know that he was crying. 

“Do you want to go somewhere with me?” Sungho smiled, not one of those cute smiles, a small and joyless smile that didn't reach his eyes. 

“Of course” Taesan tried to smile, he closed his hands into fists around the bag strap, trying to contain his instincts to wrap Park Sungho in his hug and not let him go.

Sungho gave another faint smile, looked away from Taesan's face and led the way. Taesan just followed the older boy, without asking any questions, he wouldn't insist for now, he would let Sungho feel ready to talk.

Taesan just looked at Sungho, who was avoiding his eyes as much as possible. And he tried very hard to control himself and not grab his wrist and pull him towards him, every time he saw him biting his lower lip.

At no point did Taesan pay attention to the path - he didn't know where he was going, he just followed Sungho with quick steps - because all his attention was focused on the beautiful boy next to him and, because of that, Taesan tripped on a staircase.

That's when he finally realized that they were on the other side of the campus, Taesan had only been there once, when he got lost in his first week of classes.

Taesan squinted his eyes and read the sign that said 'biology' with an arrow pointing to a random building, similar to the others.

But what the hell were they doing there? Taesan frowned. He was about to question Sungho, when he saw a person, a boy, wearing a funny fish costume. It was one of those sponge costumes that people used to advertise something on the street.

“You guys study biology, you should be worried about the aquarium situation, you hypocrites,” the boy shouted at some students who left the building and ignored him.

If the situation with Sungho wasn’t driving Taesan completely crazy with worry, he would have laughed. Oh, yes, he would have laughed a lot.

The daytime classes were ending and the night classes were about to start, there were a lot of people passing by and that fish boy was embarrassing himself for nothing. Taesan wouldn’t miss the opportunity to laugh.

The fish boy looked in their direction, smiled and waved. Taesan frowned and looked around them, there was no one else there… which means the fish boy is actually waving at them. Is this serious?

God forbid not.

Sungho waved back and Taesan's eyes widened.

What the hell is going on? Sungho grabbed Taesan's wrist and pulled him… towards the sponge fish. Taesan was about to grab Sungho's hand and run away, pulling the boy in another direction, away from the humiliation right in front of him.

Park Sungho has always been a sweet, pure, innocent boy who is too good for the world they live in. He definitely doesn't know how to say 'no' when people ask him for favors, he never learned. 

But had he seriously agreed to participate in such a thing?

Taesan laughed, it's just like Sungho, always getting involved in literally any cause, it's no wonder they've volunteered at every animal shelter in Seoul. Taesan was there, simply because he wouldn't leave Sungho alone.

Taesan laughed. That was so typical of Sungho, always getting involved in literally any cause. It's no wonder that they have volunteered at every animal shelter in Seoul. Taesan was there, simply because he wouldn't leave Sungho alone.

“I want to introduce you to someone, I think you only know each other by sight” Sungho shrugged.

Taesan made a face, why on earth would he want to meet the boy dressed as a fish?

“Sungho hyung”

The boy in the sponge costume smiled as they approached and Taesan's eyes widened as he realized who the fish was.

This can only be a joke.

"Leehan, this is Han Taesan" Sungho pointed at Taesan, then he turned to look at Taesan, but soon looked away from his face "Taesanie, this is Kim Leehan"

'Taesanie' Taesan's eyes widened, Sungho never calls him that and he doesn't know how he feels. Maybe he likes to be called anything, as long as it's by Sungho.

“Hi” Leehan smiled “I can’t believe you guys actually came to help”

"What?"

Taesan opened his eyes wide.

“Unfortunately, I have to meet Riwoo at the library” Sungho forced another smile and swallowed hard, his voice was choked and he was still holding Taesan’s wrist, not realizing he was stroking it with his thumb, “but Taesanie will be very happy to help you.”

“Any help is welcome.” Leehan shrugged and handed Taesan a poster.

“What the hell are you doing?” Taesan grabbed Sungho’s wrist.

“I already know, it’s okay” Sungho smiled, finally looking at Taesan’s beautiful face, his eyes roaming all over the younger boy’s face, as if he wanted to memorize every detail and every feature that was already very well stored in his memory. Sungho got a little closer, so that only Taesan could hear him “talk to him, I'm sure you two will like each other very much”

“Park Sungho” Taesan snorted the breath he didn’t realize he was holding, completely in disbelief. He couldn’t even think straight or even breathe properly. Taesan felt his soul leave his body as soon as Park Sungho turned his back on him and practically ran away. 

This can only be a nightmare. 

♡

Sungho wasn't surprised when Taesan didn't stop being with Leehan to go after him, even though a little part of him - that silly little part that believed that everything that happened between him and Han Dongmin was real - had some hope.

Riwoo - his best friend, the one who knew everything about Sungho's feelings, from his completely platonic teenage crush on Han Dongmin to his incurable unrequited love for the same Han Dongmin - tried to convince Sungho not to do this. He said a thousand times that Sungho should talk to Taesan before handing him over to Leehan, who apparently didn't even want him in the first place.

But the Riwoo who told him these things was the same Riwoo who kept saying that he thought Sungho's unrequited love wasn't so unrequited, he was sure that Taesan liked Sungho. So if Riwoo was wrong about Taesan liking Sungho, the probability of him being wrong about Leehan not liking Taesan was huge.

And, just like Sungho doesn't want to come between anyone's romance, he doesn't want to get his hopes up just to hurt himself more.

It turns out that yes, Park Sungho has been in love with Han Dongmin since the first ice cream they had together, and even though this feeling takes his breath away and is the most beautiful feeling he has, there have been many moments when all Sungho would wish for a star, was for her to take this out of him.

As time went on, Sungho just got used to liking Han Dongmin and not having anything he could do about it. And he was okay with that.

He was never stupid to grow flowers of hope inside his heart, Dongmin was very good at making it very clear that he didn't feel the same way about Sungho. 

Even though they were always together, in one way or another, even though Dongmin never rejected his feelings verbally - because Sungho didn't even think about declaring himself -, Sungho knew, Dongmin just was very obvious, he would never like Sungho, like Sungho liked him.

And as much as it hurt, Sungho knew that, sooner or later, Dongmin would find someone and fall in love. In fact, Sungho hoped with all his heart that, the moment Dongmin fell in love with someone, he would finally be able to move on, with the certainty that he didn't have any chance. 

Sungho was ready to let Taesan go and be happy with whoever he chose. After all, this is what people do when they like someone, right? They let them go so that they can be happy. Sungho knew that he would be happy, if Dongmin was happy. 

What else could he do? 

He can't make Dongmin fall in love with him. 

But Sungho just didn't want it to hurt so much when that day finally came.

He just didn't expect to experience what his life would be like if Han Dongmin reciprocated his feelings. And he wished he had never experienced it.

Maybe it would hurt less now.

He was so silly, something inside him always knew that this was a big mess and, even so, he let himself fall into that hole of fantasies.

In Sungho's defense, how can he resist the boy he loves?

When Han Taesan sent that message asking him to go out on a date, Sungho felt his heart hurt, because he knew that it had been a mistake.

He chose to pretend not to have seen the invitation so that things between them wouldn't get awkward and Taesan could undo this mess, pretending nothing happened by inviting whoever it was to the date.

But if there's one thing that Han Dongmin is relentless about, it's making things very difficult for Sungho. Just his existence, his perfectly sculpted face, his smile, and his unique personality - that sweetness that he likes to pretend doesn't exist and hides very well, under so many layers of indifference - are already Sungho's weakest point.

Damn, he would fetch all the stars in the sky and give them to Dongmin if he wanted, even though he knew that the stars, the poor little stars, would be shy in Taesan's presence, since the brightness in his eyes is brighter than the brightness of all of them together.

Could it be that Taesan was embarrassed?

Could it be that he felt bad about the confusion and that's why he felt forced to take the thing forward?

Why on earth did Taesan insist on taking him on a date, if it wasn't Sungho he wanted to go out with?

That message was never meant for Sungho.

⁠.⁠｡⁠*⁠ flashback on ♡

It was after lunch, Sungho was in the library with Riwoo and Leehan. They would only have class after 2pm and they had nothing to do until then, so Sungho and Riwoo were helping Leehan with his posters for the protest in defense of the endangered fish that were being kept in captivity at the national aquarium. Something like this.

Sungho had just said goodbye to Taesan - they had lunch together - and he was already missing him. He always missed Dongmin when they weren't together and now, with this new closeness between them, things are worse.

And Han Dongmin seemed excited to feed this, as he kept texting Sungho, even though Sungho told him to pay attention in class.

This is all still so new and still so strange, but it feels so good.

This new, yet-to-be-named relationship status with Dongmin makes him dizzy. Sungho doesn't really understand where it came from and how it happened, he wonders if it was always there for Dongmin and he just hid it very well, after all, for Sungho it was always there, locked under lock and key in his heart.

Even though it's sudden, Sungho is very happy.

“I knew it” Leehan slapped the table, catching Sungho and Riwoo’s attention.

“Knew what?” Riwoo frowned.

“Han Taesan” Leehan smiled, proud of himself “I knew I had seen that name before”

“We kind of always talk about him” Riwoo shrugged.

“No” Leehan laughed “Han Taesan texted me a few days ago, asking me to babysit his little brother. But I had to say no”

“What?” Sungho felt his stomach drop.

“You know, I haven’t done this babysitting thing since I forgot my little cousin at the playground… we were playing hide-and-seek and I kind of forgot to look for her” Leehan sighed and slumped his shoulders “poor thing, she was hiding in the slide house for hours”

“Leehanie, do you have anything other than fish on your mind?” Riwoo looked genuinely worried.

“What fish?” Leehan’s eyes widened.

“Leehanie, are you sure it was Han Taesan who asked you to babysit?” Sungho was starting to feel dizzy, and it wasn't dizzy in a good way like he felt because of Dongmin's perfume, for example.

“I do, he said he was Han Taesan in the message” Leehan sighed sadly “Hyung, I felt terrible, he said that his little brother likes me and I don’t even remember the child’s face”

“And how do you know Woonhak?” Riwoo narrowed his eyes.

“Who?” Leehan pouted.

“Taesan’s brother, his name is Woonhak” Sungho whimpered, he was so confused, his head was starting to hurt.

“Oh my God, I just realized I didn’t even remember the kid’s name” Leehan widened his eyes “but if he likes me, I must know him, right?!” He shrugged “poor thing, I had such an impact on that child’s life, he really likes me and I have no idea who he is. I hope he doesn’t turn into a rebellious teenager”

“Woonhak is sixteen years old, Leehan” Sungho whimpered again.

“He’s sixteen?” Leehan’s eyes widened, he started rubbing his hands on his neck nervously “why does he need a babysitter if he’s sixteen? Could it be that he fell in love with me? Damn, that would be so wrong”

“Honestly” Riwoo started laughing.

“Can I see the message from Taesan?” Sungho bit his bottom lip while opening his own chat with Taesan. He was dizzy and his hands were shaking and sweating.

He still felt dizzy, his head was fuzzy, his hands were shaking and sweating.

This can't be happening.

“Of course” Leehan smiled, pulling out his phone.

From the way Riwoo was watching Sungho, all brow furrowed with worry and lower lip caught between his teeth, Sungho knew that his best friend's quick and brilliant mind had already connected the dots and knew exactly what was going on in Sungho's head.

Frankly, Riwoo definitely already knew what was happening.

“Here, hyung” Leehan passed his phone to Sungho.

And right there, right in front of Sungho's eyes, were Taesan's two messages:

‘Unknown number: Hey, this is Han Taesan. I’m sorry to bother you, but it seems like my brother likes you a lot more than me. Are you free to babysit him on Saturday?’ received at 6:36 PM

‘Dongminie ♡: Hey, this is Han Taesan. I know this is random and a little weird, but would you like to have coffee with me? Like a date?’ received at 6:42 PM

It didn’t take a super-smart genius or prodigy to figure out what had happened. The whole thing was very obvious: Taesan had two messages to send, he got confused and switched the numbers, so he sent the messages to the wrong numbers. 

Taesan swapped Sungho's number for Leehan's number and Leehan's number for Sungho's number. Leehan received the message that Sungho should have received and…

Well, Sungho received the message  that Leehan should have received. 

The date invitation was never meant for Sungho.

And this isn't even such an absurd thing to happen, people send the wrong messages and call by mistake all the time. The fact that Taesan picked up both numbers - until then, unknown to him - on the same day, which was probably what happened, makes it much easier for him to get confused.

But why did he let the mess with Sungho grow so much?

Does Han Dongmin know that Sungho likes him? Could it be that Dongmin felt sorry for him and that’s why he didn’t tell Sungho the truth?

And it was as if the floor had collapsed beneath Sungho's feet.

After saying goodbye to Leehan, Sungho spent a long time crying to Riwoo in a corner of the library where no one goes, that section where the books that talk about preventing babies are kept and no one seems to care.

If there was ever a moment in his life when Sungho was truly lucky, it was when he met Lee Riwoo, his best friend. He could tell him anything and spend hours lamenting and crying over Dongmin and Riwoo would still be there, listening, supporting and comforting Sungho with affection.

Now, however, Riwoo didn't just want to listen, he really wanted to hunt Taesan down all over campus and get the whole story straight. Sungho made him promise not to do anything, Riwoo promised, even though he was reluctant.

After many conversations and thoughts, Sungho made the most painful decision he had ever made in his entire life, but if Han Taesan can't fix his own mess, Sungho will have to do it for him.

Because that's what love does, right?!

⁠.⁠｡⁠*⁠ flashback off ♡

It's ⁠quite impressive the amount of tears Sungho can produce in such a short period of time. After crying a lot throughout the afternoon, he still had an absurd amount of tears to cry all the way from the biology building to the astronomy building. And it seemed like it wouldn't end any time soon.

And only after crying for a while longer - in fact, Sungho doesn't really know how much time has passed since he arrived there, but the night had already painted the sky navy blue - there, on the terrace of the astronomy building, Sungho thinks that his tears had finally ended.

Maybe the stars and the moon felt so sorry for him that they dried his tears. He thanks them with all his heart, his head is throbbing from having cried so much.

Sungho knows he needs to leave, but he's considering the idea of waiting for Riwoo to finish his shift at the library to leave with him. He's scared to death of meeting Dongmin on campus or even on the subway. Even worse would be if he found Dongmin accompanied by Leehan. And he knows he needs to get used to it, because it's something that will happen, but he doesn't think it needs to happen so soon.

Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to lie about feeling sick and skip class for the rest of the week. Desperate situations call for desperate measures and he's so desperate.

Sungho feels bad and the proof that Sungho is really bad is that he has been thinking about skipping class all week. He almost never misses class, he went to class even though he had a fever and even had an allergic reaction and was all red and swollen.

He sniffed his nose again, probably from the absurd amount of crying, but he clung to the idea that maybe he didn't need to lie about being sick, after all it's getting really cold and he could catch a cold at any moment.

Proving that the temperature was dropping, a cold breeze kissed his cheeks and made Sungho shrink back, hugging his legs folded against his chest even tighter. He laid his cheek on one of his knees and looked up at the sky. It was very cold indeed, but the night was very beautiful.

The phone vibrated in his pocket, letting him know there was a new notification.

Sungho shivered, but this time not because of the cold. He sighed dejectedly, he must have about thirty notifications now and, for sure, someone was calling him, a few minutes ago. Riwoo, probably, or his mother... but he's pretty sure he told her he'd be home later.

With a frown and a sniffle, Sungho forced himself to check his phone. He was sad and his heart was broken, but he didn't want to worry anyone to death. 

Damn, Sungho's eyes widened, he was right, there were indeed around thirty notifications. Six messages from Riwoo, two messages from… Myung Jaehyun. Why on earth was Jaehyun texting him… oh, Jaehyun definitely thinks Taesan is with Sungho. Dongmin probably didn't tell him he's with Leehan.

Then he saw, fifteen messages and eight missed calls from Dongmin.

Sungho's eyes widened, his heart skipped a beat and jumped so hard that it almost reached his throat in an attempt to escape through his mouth.

A few years ago, Sungho ate an ice cream and a little butterfly was born in his stomach. She flapped her little wings, jumped and danced every time Sungho was with Dongmin or even when he thought about him.

Years have passed and that little butterfly is not alone anymore. Sungho can say for sure that there is currently an entire butterfly colony living inside his stomach, and every single one of the little butterflies is extremely biased and completely in love with Han Dongmin.. Sungho is not in a position to judge them, he understands them.

Your heart is broken into a thousand little pieces, but the thousands of little butterflies that live in your stomach are having a party.

He bit his bottom lip, trying to stop himself from crying before his eyes started to get blurry with tears.

Going against his judgment and common sense, but following his heart, Sungho opened his chat with Dongmin.

‘Dongminie♡: Park Sungho’

‘Dongminie♡: Where are you?’

‘Dongminie ♡: I searched the entire library for you’

‘Dongminie♡: You should have known that I would run after you. I only didn’t do it the moment you ran away because your fish friend told me something really interesting about being worried about you. He said you looked really tired and a little sick earlier, before your afternoon class’

‘Dongminie ♡: Should I be worried? Great, because I’m already worried.”

‘Dongminie ♡: Speaking of the fish boy… may I know why you left me there with that boy dressed as a fish? I left him there alone, but I just heard from someone in the library that campus security came to get him out of there. Maybe he will be punished for disturbance and you won't be able to blame me'

‘Dongminie ♡: Park Sungho'

‘Dongminie ♡: I know you haven't gone home yet, I asked the front desk staff if they saw you. It's cute and so helpful that you've even made friends with the doormen, so they know for sure that you haven't left yet.'

'Dongminie ♡: Park Sungho, I'm going back to the library, I hope you went for coffee, but you're already back'

‘Dongminie♡: I’ll text you until you reply’

'Dongminie ♡: Park Sungho'

‘Dongminie ♡: I found your friend Riwoo and, look how cool, he’s alone, there’s no sign that you were here. But I’ll talk to him’

‘Dongminie ♡: Sungho’

‘Dongminie ♡: My baby Sungho’

‘Dongminie ♡: Damn, Riwoo told me what happened. I was such an idiot, but please give me a chance to explain myself. Let me talk to you, looking into those beautiful eyes of yours, so you can tell if I’m lying or if you can trust me. If you send me away, I'll leave. But let me talk to you’

‘Dongminie♡: Please’

'Dongminie ♡: If you don't answer, I'm going to call the police and I'm serious. I'm going to call your parents, my parents and Woonhak, he's going to come with that big mouth of his and he's going to scream all over the campus until he finds you'

‘Dongminie♡: I’m serious, you have 5 minutes to show up’

‘Dongminie♡: 5’

‘Dongminie♡: 4’

‘Dongminie♡: 3’

Sungho's eyes widen, his heart is beating so fast he can hear it and he almost can't breathe. He feels dizzy and his thoughts are confused, but he is sure of one thing: he is so in love with Han Dongmin.

While I was reading Dongmin's messages - and trying very hard not to cry - four or five more messages arrived. Sungho's hands were shaking, damn, he was so nervous. He almost burst out laughing right now.

‘Dongminie♡: 2’

‘Dongminie♡: Baby, seriously, were you kidnapped?’

‘Sungho: I’m fine’

‘Dongminie ♡: Baby boo, my sweetie, darling’

‘Sungho: ???’

‘Dongminie ♡: It’s your contact nickname in my phone’

‘Sungho: Is it serious?’

‘Dongminie ♡: Let me see you and I’ll show you’

‘Dongminie♡: Baby, please, tell me where you are’

‘Dongminie ♡: Before I go completely crazy. And it won’t be long before that’

‘Sungho: Terrace of the astronomy building’

‘Dongminie♡: Don’t move’

‘Love’.

Did Han Dongmin just call Sungho ‘love’? And he called him ‘baby’ before and Sungho’s contact name on Dongmin’s phone is extra cute too…

What does that mean?

Sungho felt his heart skip a beat, or maybe three. The butterfly colony that lives inside his stomach is having a party, the little butterflies are moving so much that they tickle him and Sungho is about to have a fit of laughter. Laughter of nervousness, of course.

And happy laughter? Of course.

What does he do now?

Before Sungho could even think about it, or anything else, the terrace door opened and Han Dongmin walked through. 

Sungho jumped up. His heart felt like it was about to explode. 

His black hair was messy and his clothes were out of alignment. He looked exhausted, his chest heaving up and down, out of breath. And yet, Han Dongmin is literally the most gorgeous person Sungho has ever seen. Dongmin is breathtaking.

After opening his mouth five or six times and not being able to say a single word, much less form a coherent sentence, Sungho just bit his lower lip and continued to stare at Dongmin.

How can Park Sungho be so cute and so beautiful? Even with his red nose and swollen eyes, he's still so handsome that he makes Taesan's knees go weak. Taesan finally had Park Sungho right in front of his eyes and he was determined that this time he wouldn't let him get away.

For what seemed like an eternity, Sungho and Taesan just stared at each other, as if they couldn't believe that the other was really there, right in front of each other. Then Taesan let the bag fall from his shoulder as his shoulders slumped and his posture relaxed. He let out the breath he had been holding, sighed in relief, and finally walked over to the boy.

Now less than a hand's breadth separated them and Taesan finally closed the distance between them and hugged Sungho, as much as he wanted and as tightly as he could. He buried his face in the older boy's neck, closed his eyes and smelled the soft scent of slightly goosebumped skin.

Hugging the younger boy equally tightly, Sungho kissed Taesan's shoulder and then rested his chin there, on Taesan's shoulder. Sungho kept his eyes closed, afraid that he would open his eyes and Taesan would have disappeared. Just to be safe, he hugged him a little tighter.

"I came as fast as I could" Taesan pulled away just enough to be able to look at Sungho, without even thinking about letting go of Park Sungho.

“I'm sorry for worrying you” Sungho looked away from Taesan's face, feeling shy and silly for making the boy run there.

“Are you apologizing?” Taesan couldn’t help but laugh.

“I am” Sungho whimpered.

“You really are unbelievable, Park Sungho” Taesan laughed and kissed the older boy's forehead “I owe you an apology and, damn, I don't even know where to start apologizing to you”

Sungho looked at him in such a cute and confused way, he tilted his head to the side and parted his lips. Taesan couldn't help but smile silly, he held both of Sungho's hands and kissed them.

Gosh, Taesan frowned, he had thought so many times about what it would be like if he had the opportunity to apologize to Sungho and how he should apologize. He has imagined this so many times and now, that he has the opportunity right in front of him, his mind is occupied only by the thought that he is very lucky. Taesan had his entire universe right there, in his hands, just a hug away.

“Let’s see…” Taesan bit his bottom lip and narrowed his eyes “first of all, can my baby forgive me for that day at school?”

“What?” Sungho snorted a laugh. He's not thinking straight, in fact, his legs have been shaking ever since he saw Dongmin, and he's trying not to fall. Now he also feels like he is melting because that voice that he likes so much just called him ‘my baby’.

“That day, when I was extremely rude and mean to you” Taesan felt his heart hurt and his face heat up with embarrassment.

“Oh…”

Taesan saw the understanding in Sungho’s eyes when he realized what Taesan was talking about. Sungho pouted cutely and Taesan wanted to kiss him, but forced himself to stay focused. He needed to do this right.

“Being rude to you was the worst thing I’ve ever done in my life, because I pushed you away from me and I missed you every day” Taesan caressed Sungho's hands with his thumbs “and even when we were together, It wasn’t the same thing and it hurt so much that I couldn’t explain it”

“Dongmin” Sungho smiled and squeezed Taesan's hands, letting their fingers intertwine “I never blamed you for this, I thought you weren't having a good day and that I was being too clingy. I realized that I was invading your space too much”

“I think about it all the time” Taesan shrugged “and these past few days, I’ve been thinking about it even more and I feel like everything finally makes sense, my mind is clear”

“What?” Sungho tilted his head to the side and widened his eyes, not understanding.

“Baby” Taesan smiled “now I realized that at that time I already had too many feelings for you, I think that even before that I already had so many feelings for you” Taesan felt his ears getting hotter and hotter “and I like that you are clingy"

“Hmm?” Sungho felt like he might pass out at any moment.

“I already liked you so much, but everything was so confusing” Taesan snorted “the fact that I had never felt anything like what I felt when I was with you, the fact that I was feeling these things for a boy. Damn, I wanted to kiss a boy and I imagined it often... it was so complicated and the way you treated me... I don't know, I started to think that you saw me as a child, your little brother, and took care of me”

Sungho knew he was looking at Taesan with eyes full of heart, finding it so absurdly cute how blushing he was. He pressed his lips together tightly, trying not to laugh. But then he smiled, he bit his lower lip, but he couldn't help it anymore, Sungho snorted a laugh and started laughing.

"Sorry" Sungho laughed, trying to look at any point other than Taesan.

“You’re laughing” Taesan was perplexed, he tried really hard not to smile because of how cute Park Sungho is, laughing like that. He let go of Sungho's hands and crossed his arms in front of his chest, pretending to be offended. He narrowed his eyes and poked his cheek with his tongue.

“I’m so sorry” Sungho whimpered, approaching Taesan, hugging the taller boy’s body and looking at Taesan’s beautiful face. Sungho pouted and whined once again “Dongminie, you’re so cute, I can’t take it”

"Excuse me?" Taesan’s eyes widened, his face was on fire and his heart was skipping beats.

“Dongminie, all of this was hard for me too, I’ve never felt anything like I feel for you. I didn’t know what to do, so I just accepted it and tried to demonstrate as best way I could” Sungho placed his hands on Taesan’s shoulders, still pouting “I didn’t know you thought I was treating you like a child”

“And you were cute the whole time” Taesan rolled his eyes, still pretending to be offended and trying very hard to stand his ground and not fall to his knees because of that cute pout “you were cute, caring and lovely the whole time. I just didn’t know how to interpret it, you were always so much more mature than me” 

“But I never saw you as a child, much less as my little brother” Sungho laughed again at how cute Han Dongmin was behind that strong and indifferent appearance “honestly, it’s only eleven months that separate us”

“I think I created this in my head, after all you were already in high school and I was still in elementary school” Taesan finally uncrossed his arms and wrapped his arms around his tiny waist.

“You’re so silly” Sungho laughed “I never cared about that”

“So this thing worked as a defense mechanism, because thinking like that, I concluded that I would never have a chance with you. Since I would never try anything, I wouldn’t have to deal with what I felt, what I feel, for you. A big nonsense, really” Taesan shrugged feeling really silly.

The two laughed.

“Han Dongmin, I spent this whole time thinking that I scared you by being so clingy with you. I hope you're okay with this now, because I can't help it, I like taking care of you” Sungho smiled, moving one of his hands up to the back of Taesan’s neck, gently caressing it.

“Please, be clingy and take care of me” Taesan tightened his hug around Sungho’s waist.

“I will, but not like a little brother” Sungho pouted and pressed his lips together trying not to laugh.

“That’s great!” Taesan rolled his eyes and they both laughed “then comes the other part of the mess” he squinted his eyes, his ears were on fire.

“Leehan” Sungho narrowed his eyes.

“The fish boy” Taesan made a face.

“Don’t call him that, Dongmin” Sungho whimpered.

“I can't help it now that I saw him wearing that thing” Taesan rolled his eyes “anyway, I thought it would be great to like someone and not think about you anymore, but at the same time I only thought about you”

“What?” Sungho laughed, his cheeks were hot and the heat went down his neck at the same time as it rose to his ears.

“Park Sungho, look at the crazy plans you make me think about” Taesan sighed frustrated, but laughed and kissed the boy's temple “then everything became distorted and part of me thought that if I dated someone else, you might start seeing me like a man, grown up enough to like me”

“You were going to use Leehan?” Sungho’s eyes widened. He was shocked, obviously. But I was calm because Leehan didn't have feelings for Dongmin

“That’s terrible, isn’t it?” Taesan shook his head, he wasn’t really sorry.

“Don’t do that to him” Sungho whined.

“I'm sorry about this too, my sweetie” Taesan tightened his hug around Sungho's waist and kissed the boy's forehead.

“You have to apologize to him, not to me” Sungho pouted.

“My love, I don’t think all this makes any difference to the fish” Taesan furrowed his eyebrows.

"Dongmin" Sungho whined again.

“I'm sorry” Taesan bit his bottom lip, he was almost teasing Sungho once again, just for the pleasure of seeing Sungho being extremely cute and whining.

“Then you sent the wrong messages” Sungho pouted again.

“Then I sent the wrong messages and panicked. Half of me wanted to throw myself out the window and the other half wanted to drown in the bathtub” Taesan shrugged “but the worst part of the whole mess was when you ignored my invitation”

“Oh” Sungho opened his lips and opened his eyes wide, he was surprised.

“That's when I realized I was experiencing the biggest fear I've ever had: being rejected by you” Taesan sighed.

“I knew it, I was sure you had sent me the wrong message or were joking” Sungho pouted, but his heart was beating so fast and loud that maybe even Taesan could hear it “because it didn’t make any sense for you to ask me out on a date, so I pretended not to see the invitation so that you wouldn’t feel embarrassed or obligated to go on a date with me”

“You already know this, but I never, at any point, even thought about sending another message to the fish boy” Taesan shrugged “because you, Park Sungho, always take over all my thoughts”

“Hmmm” Sungho pursed his lips, he was feeling so hot, so clumsy and so shy, at the same time he felt dizzy and his heart skipped beats. So many sensations at the same time and all of them because Han Dongmin was saying that he was thinking about him. Sungho really is so in love.

“And I was so focused on knowing why you were ignoring me” taesan huffed in frustration “I pretended I didn’t care because I pretended I didn’t have feelings for you, but part of me wanted to insist and try my luck with you, while the other part wanted to be rejected right away so I could try to move on” 

“So silly, Han Dongmin” Sungho laughed. 

In the end, their thoughts about each other were so similar. This is kinda cute.

“I was so afraid of being rejected by you, Park Sungho” Taesan kissed the tip of Sungho’s cute red nose and smiled “but I’m not afraid anymore”

“That’s good” Sungho widened his eyes pretending to be surprised and laughed “because I literally accepted you and I believe I made it very clear that I like you”

“Did you really accept me?” Taesan's eyes widened, then smiled “does this mean we are already dating?”

“Han Dongmin” Sungho pursed his lips, then laughed, feeling his face very hot “if this is your proposal, know that it was terrible”

“My baby boo, my sweetie, my darling, date me?” Taesan pouted.

“I date you” Sungho whined, how could he resist Han Dongmin being so cute, talking to him almost in a baby voice?

Taesan threw his head back in laughter, his chest bubbling with happiness. He looked at the boy in hopes that Sungho could see the adoration in his eyes. Taesan hugged him tighter and kissed Sungho's forehead before continuing what he had yet to say.

“When you agreed to go on a date with me” Taesan laughed “wow, that was the moment I stopped to think and finally managed to understand my feelings” Taesan felt at peace, even though he felt a whirlwind of things just by being so close to Park Sungho, telling him how he feels “and I hope I made it clear that I like you too”

“Just a little bit” Sungho shrugged and bit his bottom lip, his butterfly was flying all over his body, even on his fingertips, tingling from touching Taesan.

“Oh, really?” Taesan widened his eyes “so, let me think” he pulled Sungho even closer - as if that were possible - and pretended to think “do you see all those stars in the sky?

Sungho raised his face and looked at the stars that he adores so much.

“Yes” Sungho smiled, still looking at the starry sky.

““Without you, stars don't mean a thing to me” Taesan swallowed hard and his breath hitched, completely lost in every precious detail of Sungho’s beautiful profile.

He is absolutely crazy about Park Sungho. And he likes it.

“Oh” Sungho opened his mouth in ‘O’. When he looked at Taesan, the younger boy was already looking at him. Sungho swallowed hard and felt dizzy, there was so much adoration in Taesan's eyes that Sungho thought he might cry at any moment.

“With you, every late nights is full of starlight” Taesan gently tucked a strand of Sungho’s soft hair behind his ear, slowly moving closer until their noses were touching “because you are my star, Park Sungho, the brightest of all”

Then finally Taesan's lips touched Sungho's lips and it was as if fireworks were exploding around them. Their hearts were pounding and in perfect sync as their lips fit together and it felt so right. This could only be magic.

They didn't know much what to do, so they just let themselves be guided by their instincts, they could learn more from each other, there was no rush. First, they exchanged short and soft little kisses, getting to know each other's lips, familiarizing themselves with the texture and getting used to the sensations that ran through their entire bodies.

The short and soft little kisses got longer and longer and gently deepened so that they could finally taste each other.

And nothing had ever felt so right.

Sungho's hands got lost in Taesan's soft hair, and he sighed into the kiss when he felt Taesan's hands grip his waist a little tighter.

Taesan smiled into the kiss with every soft sigh that Sungho let out, he was trying very hard not to squeeze Sungho's waist too tightly, although he was already doing a little of that. Damn, Taesan had pulled Sungho to him so much that there was no space between their bodies, not even air could pass between them.

They finished the kiss with a few more soft and smacking little kisses, they didn't want to separate and they did so only because they no longer had the breath to continue. They were completely dizzy and the sensation was intoxicating, their noses were still touching, brushing each other affectionately.

Taesan was the first to open his eyes and smiled, Park Sungho was a blushing and cute mess. He took one of his hands from Sungho's waist, to touch the boy's face, giving a feather-soft caress on his cheekbone. When Sungho opened his eyes and leaned his face towards Taesan's caress, he couldn't resist and kissed him again.

It was Sungho's turn to laugh against Taesan's lips.

The kiss was a little more intense and they kissed once again until they ran out of air. This time, when the kiss ended, they were breathing hard and heavy, their foreheads were pressed together, while they hugged each other tightly, simply not wanting to let go of each other.

Both of them still had their eyes closed, Taesan was caressing Sungho's waist, who was tangling his fingers in his hair.

“I really have to thank the universe, fate and my brother” Taesan has never felt so warm, even with the cold breeze surrounding them. He was still panting and smiled, stealing a small kiss from Sungho's lips.

“Woonhagibaby?” Sungho frowned. He moved his hands down from Taesan’s hair and gently squeezed his trapezius.

“Oh, yes” Taesan laughed, wrapping his arms around Sungho’s waist in a hug “because if he hadn’t been so unbearably annoying that day, maybe I would have paid more attention to what I was doing and wouldn’t have made the most certain and most precious mistake of my life”

“You really are a fool, Han Dongmin” Sungho felt his cheeks even hotter, laughed and hid his face in the crook of Taesan's neck.

“Fool, silly, in love, crazy about you, you decide which one is your favorite” Taesan shrugged, smiled and kissed Sungho's cheek “the universe was definitely helping Woonhak that day, he was actually more annoying than usual. And fate wanted the two of us together soon”

And once again, it was as if Taesan's mouth had disconnected from his brain and the words were simply flowing from his heart. But he didn't care, not even with his ears on fire and his stupid smile, Taesan was more than ready to shout from the top of that terrace that he was in love with Park Sungho.

Sungho's heart skipped a few beats just a few seconds before he stood on his tiptoes and kissed Taesan. Boldly, Sungho bit Taesan's lower lip, tugging gently and smiling when Taesan sighed and tightened his grip on his waist.

They separated and once again, Taesan brought their foreheads together.

“Han Dongmin, I never, not even in my dreams, imagined that you would be so romantic” Sungho narrowed his eyes at Taesan and bit his lower lip trying not to laugh.

A cold breeze kissed his burning cheeks and Sungho shivered, he liked it when Taesan hugged him protectively. He could live in Taesan’s hug.

“Oh, really? Neither do I” Taesan shrugged “I suspect you are the cause of this” Taesan smiled. He kissed Sungho’s lips briefly, before trailing kisses down the boy’s jaw until finally burying his face in his neck.

“I like this, my love” Sungho smiled shyly, closed his eyes and sighed happily, hugging Dongmin without wanting to let go of him ever again.

A shiver caused by Taesan laughing on his neck startled Sungho and made him jump a little and shrink back.

“My love, what do you think about us going home?” Taesan looked at Sungho, his brow furrowed with worry “it’s getting really cold and you’re already covered in goosebumps”

“Dongminie, you’re so silly” Sungho whined “I’m not covered in goosebumps because of the cold” Sungho hid his flushed face in his hands, still whining.

"Oh, no?" Taesan widened his eyes and laughed. He teased Sungho, playfully poking his waist a few times, until finally pulling him back into his arms.

“No” Sungho rolled his eyes with a pout.

“I like this” Taesan bit his bottom lip and smiled.

“So can we stay here just a little longer?” Sungho pouted and smiled when Taesan’s eyes fell on his lips again. He narrowed his eyes, observing Taesan’s Adam’s apple, how curious… Did Taesan just swallow hard?

Did Sungho just discover Taesan's weakness?

“And you want to stay here and do what?” Taesan alternated between looking at Sungho's starry eyes and pretty lips, feeling dizzy every time his heart skipped a beat.

“Looking at the stars?” Sungho shrugged and when Taesan threw his head back, laughing so genuinely, the butterfly colony that lives in his stomach also had fun, flapping its little wings and tickling Sungho.

“We can, my love, because I really didn't plan on taking my eyes off you” Taesan held one of the hands of such a beautiful and blushing Sungho and kissed his knuckles.

Then Sungho smiled and laughed in that cute way that makes his eyes almost close completely. Taesan lost his breath, then sighed feeling his chest overflowing with love. That smile of Sungho's is Taesan's favorite thing.

Gently, Taesan sealed Sungho's lips once again and, definitely, not for the last time that night.

Damn, this can only be love.

…

“With you, late nights, it's full of starlight"

The end ⁠♡