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32 Pages & 169 Screws

Summary:

“It’s a simple TV cabinet, Leona. What could possibly go wrong?”
That was what Vil had said to him when they bought not one, not two, but four different pieces of furniture that all were supposed to all somehow go together. How? The prince didn’t know. But the unfortunate thing was he was gonna find out.

Notes:

I can't believe this is the second fic I've written where Leona has to build furniture. Poor guy.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“It’s a simple TV cabinet, Leona. What could possibly go wrong?”

That was what Vil had said to him when they bought not one, not two, but four different pieces of furniture that all were supposed to all somehow go together.

How? The prince didn’t know. But the unfortunate thing was he was gonna find out.

As they opened up the box for the first cabinet, a thick packet, and more screws than Leona could count fell out. Leona stopped himself from rolling his eyes, aware that if his husband caught him reacting in such a way he’d probably end up on the couch.

The beastman settled down on the floor with the actor beside him and waited to be told what to do next. Because there was no way he was about to start this nightmare of a project of his own volition. Nope. He wasn’t even going to open the bag of screws without being told to do so. This was all Vil’s idea, so the actor could figure it out. That way Leona couldn’t be blamed when this whole thing went to Hades in a handbasket.

“Start with this,” Vil said, pointing to the diagram. “We need to attach these pieces first.”

Leona sighed and took the piece and the crappy, makeshift screwdriver thing that came with the furniture.

“This better not turn into some epic disaster, Queenie.” He muttered under his breath as he struggled to open the bag of screws in a way that wouldn’t send them flying in every direction.

The actor rolled his eyes. “If you follow my instructions, it won’t.”

The prince began to fit the pieces together, and, for a moment, the only sounds were the occasional clink of metal and the rustle of paper as Vil turned the pages of the manual. They worked in a synchronized rhythm for a while. However, the harmony didn’t last long.

“Wait, Leona, that’s the wrong piece,” Vil said as he looked up from the manual.

Leona paused as he stared at the boards he was holding. “What do you mean? They fit perfectly.”

Vil frowned and held the instructions up for Leona so he could compare the piece in the diagram to the one in his hand. “No, you’re using a side panel instead of the bottom panel. Look at the edges more closely.”

Leona groaned and pulled the pieces apart before he grabbed the correct (he hoped) piece. “How am I supposed to tell the difference? They all look the same.”

Vil took a deep breath. “Just…follow my lead and look at the instructions. Follow them step-by-step is not that hard.”

“Easy for you to say,” Leona muttered as he picked up the screw he’d set out to use before. However, as he tried to tighten it into place, it kept turning. He tried again, but it just wouldn’t fit properly.

“Why isn’t this damn thing linin’ up now?” The lion growled out.

His husband let out a heavy sigh and came over to check once more. “Because you are using the wrong screw. Those are for the smaller panels.”

Leona gritted his teeth and yanked the screw out. “You could’ve mentioned that earlier.”

“I had no clue what you’d grabbed,” Vil shot back. The prince could tell the other man’s patience had worn thin by the way his brow had furrowed.

With another deep breath, Leona got back to work.

They continued on for a while again, but with every turn of the screwdriver, it was clear things were not going well. Pieces refused to fit together as they should, screws got lost, and the manual seemed to be more confusing than helpful with its pictural representations of what was meant to be.

“Why did we even buy this thing?” Leona growled as he threw down a screw in exasperation. “It’s like it was designed to drive people insane.”

He watched as Vil rubbed his temples. “Because it’s supposed to look nice once it’s assembled. If we can ever get it assembled.”

Leona threw up his hands. “I give up. This is impossible. I’m gonna grab my magestone.”

The actor snapped the manual shut and glared at the beastman. “No, we are not giving up. We can do this. We just need to stay calm and focused. There’s no need to waste energy and magic on something this trivial.”

“Calm and focused?” Leona repeated, crossing his arms. “Because you’re the epitome of that right now yourself, yeah?”

“Well, maybe if you actually listened to me instead of doing your own thing, we wouldn’t be in this mess,” Vil snapped back.

The air became thick with tension as both of them glared each other down with the half-assembled cabinet in pieces between them.

Finally, Leona relented with a sigh. “Look, this isn’t workin’. We’re just gonna end up at each other’s throats if we keep this up.”

Vil’s expression softened. “We’ve come this far, Leona. Please. Let’s just try to finish it.”

Leona hesitated, then nodded. “Fine. But if we’re not done in an hour, I’m grabbin’ our magestones.”

His husband pressed his lips together but nodded. “Deal. Now, let’s try this again.”

With a renewed, albeit tentative, determination, Vil opened the manual again. After he scanned it for a few moments, he pointed to a section in the diagram.

“Okay, here we are,” he said as he pointed out the picture to Leona. “We need to attach these two pieces first—using the smaller screws.”

Leona grumbled but grabbed the pieces Vil indicated, this time being careful to use the correct screws. He glanced over at Vil, who was focused on the manual, his brow furrowed in concentration. It was clear Vil was as determined as ever to make this work, even if it killed them both in the process.

The next few minutes were quiet, save for the sound of screws being driven into the pressed wood. They somehow managed to get a couple of panels together without any issues, which felt like a small victory. And Leona’s earlier frustration began to ebb in the process.

“I think we’re actually getting’ somewhere,” Leona said, almost surprised. “Maybe this thing won’t beat us after all.”

Vil shot him a sideways glance. “Don’t jinx it. We’ve still got a long way to go.”

They continued to work with a steady rhythm. Vil would direct, Leona would execute, and bit by bit, the cabinet began to take shape. The earlier tension between them started to dissolve in full and, despite the occasional hiccup, they were getting closer to finishing the job.

Just as Leona thought they were in the clear, another panel refused to align properly no matter what he tried.

“Come on, damn it,” he muttered as he tried to force it.

“You’re trying to fit it upside down again,” Vil said, frustration once again in his voice.

Leona froze, then pulled back to give his husband a look that was equal parts exasperation and defeat. “Are you serious?”

“Yes, I’m serious,” Vil huffed with a sardonic laugh. “Flip it around.”

Leona did as instructed and, to his surprise, the panel slid into place with ease. He stared at it for a moment, then shook his head. “This thing really is designed to mess with people.”

Vil chuckled, the sound now more light and almost relieved. “Or maybe we have just overcomplicated it.”

Leona huffed. “Maybe.”

They once again got back to work and finished the cabinet. Once they’d completed one, the other was simple enough since it was just a repeat of the previous piece. By the time they reached the console part, everything went by surprisingly fast. Before long, they were attaching the final pieces.

As Leona tightened the last screw, he stepped back to admire their handiwork.

“Not bad,” he said, a hint of pride in his voice.

Vil stood beside him and nodded in agreement. “I told you it would look nice.”

Leona glanced at his husband, a small smirk playing on his lips. “So, guess we survived. What’s next? Another piece of furniture?”

Vil shook his head. “For now, let’s simply enjoy the fact that we did not kill each other over this.”

The prince chuckled. “Deal. But next time, we’re hiring someone to do this for us.”

Vil rolled his eyes but nodded his head. “Agreed.”

As they stood there, admiring their work, Leona couldn’t help but feel a strange sense of accomplishment. He had been convinced that the whole project was doomed from the start, but here they were — with a fully assembled TV cabinet that looked, well, decent.

Vil, still inspecting the cabinet, reached out to give one of the shelves a light push, just to test its stability.

That’s when it happened.

The faint sound of cracking followed by the abrupt snap of wood.

The two of them watched in stunned silence as the shelf Vil had pressed on pulled away from the side panel, crashed down into the one under it, and then caused a domino effect with all of the other shelves underneath it. The pull from those shelves then caused the other side of the cabinet to bow in and split from the tension.

Leona blinked, his mind struggling to process what had just happened. “Shit.”

Vil’s mouth hung open in shock. “No… no, no, no!” He rushed forward and tried to ease the tension off the side panel, but it was too late. The damage was done.

The actor let go of everything in defeat and the beastman stepped closer to stare down at the mess. “Well, ain’t that just perfect.”

Vil turned to Leona, his eyes wide with a mix of disbelief and anger. “How did this happen? We followed the instructions!”

The prince crossed his arms as he tried to keep his own frustration in check. “Maybe those instructions were garbage. Or maybe this thing was just cheap from the start.”

Vil shook his head, his anger giving way to a weary sigh as he rubbed his forehead. “I cannot believe this.”

Leona stared at the broken piece for a moment before letting out a low growl of frustration. He had been ready to hate the entire project from the start. But now that they were staring at the wreckage of their hard work, it felt like a personal insult.

He glanced over at Vil and saw that the other man still had his head in his hand and reached over to rub his back.

“Yah got two options here, Queenie. Either we scrap this thing entirely and go get another one that’ll come preassembled. Or yah let me go get the magestones and we fix it with magic. Your choice.”

The actor looked over at him, his eyes filled with resignation, and stared at him for a moment before he sighed.

“Magestones. I do not wish to waste more money on another one of these only for it to be faulty, as well.”

The prince chuckled and leaned in to kiss Vil’s cheek before he moved to wrap his arms around the other man. “Good thinkin’. I’ll even fix it for yah if you order a pizza for us.”

Vil leaned his head against Leona’s shoulder. “Only if I can get spinach and peppers on it.”

The lion snorted. “Deal. But only because I love yah.”

“I love you, too, Leona.”

Notes:

Thanks for reading! And shoutout to my roommate who hammered almost every nail through the back of our Ikea bookcases off-center. Love yah! xD

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